


Thief

by SilverFountains, witchesdelite



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Thorin, Bottom!Thorin, Caning, Capital Punishment, Character Death, Class Differences, Corporal Punishment, Crossdressing, Double Anal Penetration, Drunk Sex, Eavesdropping, Frottage, Hanging, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Master & Servant, Master Thorin, Masturbation, Medical Procedures, Mildly Dubious Consent, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Oral Sex, Outdoor Sex, Pain, Pederasty, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical Underage, Rough Sex, Secret homosexuality, Semi-Public Sex, Servant Kili, Shameless Smut, Superstition, Terminal Illnesses, Threesome - M/M/M, Transvestite, Underage Prostitution, Victorian Inventions, Violence, crime and punishment, non-con elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-02-08 04:59:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 59
Words: 279,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1927518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFountains/pseuds/SilverFountains, https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchesdelite/pseuds/witchesdelite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>England 1884. Kili has grown up as the only child on the estate of the rich, but downcast barrister Mr Oakenshield, who considers him nothing but a hindrance. But when tragedy strikes, Thorin makes a promise that will change both their lives forever. And very slowly the reckless youngster begins to defrost his heart. </p><p>Meanwhile the political climate in England is changing. Once not that long ago love between two men could see them with a noose around their neck. These days most turn a blind eye to such "unnatural" behaviour, but there are changes afoot that carry a threat for anyone who chooses to engage in such behaviours.</p><p>This is a dark tale of love against all odds in a world that is on the brink of big changes, fighting with its own moralities and human rights. There is silent war between those who are holding on to the old codes of class diversity, religious morality and harsh punishment and a new movement that believes in equality regardless of class, gender and sexuality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Erebor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Dis written by LadyLuna  
> Kili written by witchesdelite
> 
> First joint venture for both of us, so please be kind! We welcome your feedback :D

# 

“Dis!!!” Mr Oakenshield’s deep voice bellows through the halls. She cringes, knowing instinctively that her son will no doubt be the cause of her master’s outburst. As she runs up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time, she can see her son fly across the gallery. She will have words with him as soon as she has given Mr Oakenshield her deepest apologies. She has told Kili over and over again not to play on the first floor, where Mr Oakenshield has his study. He should not be in the upper part of the grand house full stop unless he is working there. But Kili has never been a very obedient child. It is not that he is a bad kid, he is just reckless and full of adventure.

She knocks on the thick door to Mr Oakenshield’s study and waits to be called in by her master.

“Yes sir, has my son caused you trouble, sir?” she asks softly, keeping her eyes firmly on the thick well-worn carpet of the private study.

“I have told you he is not to be on the first floor,” Mr Oakenshield growls at her. “If you cannot keep your child under control then perhaps you should send him to a workhouse. They will know how to handle a little brat like him.”

Dis cringes and flushes at the suggestion that she sends her only son away to such an institution. But she nods slowly, still keeping her eyes downcast. “Yes Mr Oakenshield. I will speak to him right now. I apologise for his behaviour and I will make sure it does not happen again.”

As she steps outside of the study and onto the landing her eyes scan the area. Suddenly her gaze lands on a pair of large brown eyes staring back at her from the shadows across the landing. Kili, come here right now, she mouths at the boy.

Kili hesitates for a second. He knows it is not a good idea to disobey his mother; she has a fiery temper and knows if he disobeys her he will be in even more trouble. He slowly comes out of the shadows and reluctantly approaches her.

Before the boy has a chance to open his mouth Dis grabs him by the shell of his ear and drags him down the steps with her. Not until they are outside does she turn to him. “What is the matter with you?!” she snaps in a slightly raised voice. “You know you are not to play inside the house and especially not on the first floor. What were you doing there?”

"Sorry ma I was bored," he mumbles, rubbing his ear and avoiding her gaze by looking at the ground and suddenly finding a woodlice crawling along the cobbles and following it with his eyes.

“Look at me when you talk to me, Kili."

Kili continues to look at the floor not daring to look in his mother's eyes. He hates seeing disappointment in them, which he so often does due to his actions and lack of ability to follow instructions.  

Dis grabs her son hard by the chin, forcing him to look up at her. “Do not disobey me, Kili. And if you are bored then I have plenty of things for you to do. You were supposed to be helping Mister Balin weed out the vegetable patch. Have you already finished that?”

Kili guiltily begins to shift from side to side. If truth be told he has not even tried to find mister Balin. He thinks about lying to his mother, but quickly changes his mind; she can always tell when he is lying. "No ma, I haven't even been to see him. I got distracted," he admits.

Dis shakes her head and lets go of her sons face. “Then you are not bored, are you? You are shirking your duties! Now get out of here and go and find Mister Balin. Don’t let me see you again until you have finished your work.”

"Yes ma," he says and hurriedly walks in the opposite direction from the house. He listens out for his mother's footsteps and turns around as they fade away into the distance. He looks around and finds himself gazing up to the master’s study and is startled to find the joyless man watching him. He feels himself become uneasy and began to shift uncomfortably. He knows the master doesn't care for him and had suggested on countless occasions that he was a hindrance to his mother and should be sent away.

He gives the master one last glance and runs towards the vegetable patch.

The master of the house stares after the young boy with the wild dark brown hair. He cannot quite remember how old Dis’ son is - fourteen, fifteen perhaps. And his eyes grow dark with an overwhelming kind of sadness as he thinks of his own son, who will never run around his estate like this boy does, who will never disturb him from his work with happy chatter and playful laughter. He drags himself away from the window, unable to look at the boy any longer. As he walks up to his desk, he picks up a yellowing photo of his beloved wife. And he drags a hand across his face as he looks at the picture of the beautiful young woman who was ripped away from him as the doctor had tried in vain to save her and his unborn child. Slowly he returns the picture to its usual place, at the corner of his desk and he returns himself to his work.

Kili approaches the gate. leaving the huge estate. He hastily looks around to check that no-one is about and slowly slips out of the gate and heads towards the little village. It is a downcast day and the ground is wet. His feet are cold as the damp got into them. He curses Mr Oakenshield for not paying his mother a fair wage. He has been without shoes for months due to them not being able to afford a new pair and his old ones have completely worn the sole.

He wraps his huge worn coat around him tightly to protect him against the harsh wind. It is only the start of autumn, but he knows they are in for a rough winter. He pulls his tweed cap down to give his face a little protection from the elements.

It is market day and the town is alive with hustle and bustle of activity. There are horse drawn carts everywhere with rich gentlemen getting in and out of black carriages. There are stalls with fresh pies, which smells could be smelled across the whole market, and freshly caught game hanging upside down from the butcher’s corner stall.

He walks over the fruit stall and pretends to be browsing. But from under his cap he watches the store owner serve another person. He reaches forward for a juicy looking red apple and pockets it, quickly looking around to check that no-one has seen, before he walks away from the stall.

Kili takes his usual place and sits on a wall. He takes a bite out of the apple and starts watching the people in the market. He loves people-watching and besides it helps with his side profession.

Plainly dressed ladies in frocks of simple designs with aprons with large wicker baskets can be seen selling goods such as bread and sweet pastries, while others carry large canisters of fresh milk for the servants to purchase on behalf of their masters and mistresses. A mixture of poor and rich alike walk around the market; the rich making extravagant purchases, while the poor day dream of that they would buy if they had the funds.

He watches as two children play with a tin cup, kicking it to each other like a football. He watches the joy it seems to bring them and wishes he had a brother to play with. Being an only child living on the large estate with only his mother, old Balin and Mr Oakenshield, where he is not allowed to play or make any noise, is not much fun.

Just then his eyes glance over a large well-dressed man in a blue duster coat and top hat with a walking stick and a golden pocket watch that is glistening in the light. The rich gentleman is browsing the jewellery stall, inspecting the wares and looking for an item of the highest quality, but at a cheap price. He picks up a necklace and begins to barter for the price.

Kili decides this is the one and approaches the market still, getting close enough to hear the gentleman. He pulls the cap he wears down low to conceal his face in its shadow so no-one will recognise him. He chucks the remainder of his apple onto the ground. 

He approaches the gentleman, trying to be as quiet as possible without drawing too much suspicion, making sure he is out of view of both the gentleman and stall keeper.

"Three," the gentleman haggles, holding out three shillings in his hand.

"Three?! I'm giving it to you at a bargain price already, sir. Five is the lowest I can go," the stall keeper declares clasping a blue jewelled bracelet in his hand.

"Four is my final offer. I won't pay a penny more," the large gentleman says greedily, getting out another shilling.

Kili watches the gentleman put his wallet back into his coat pocket and decides the time is right. He runs out of his hiding place and knocks into the man's side, knocking all the packages out of his hands. "I'm so sorry, sir, it’s all my fault. Let me help you with that, sir," he apologises and rushes to help the gentleman pick up his purchases off the floor.

The gentleman lets out a sigh and bends down to retrieve his new goods. Kili takes the opportunity whilst the man is distracted and slips his hand into the gentleman's pocket, pulling out the wallet and quickly transferring it to his own. "Good day to you, sir," he quickly utters and exits the town as quickly as possible, making sure he isn't being followed. The last thing he wants is to lead trouble up to the big house towards his ma and Mr Oakenshield. He knows full well if the master ever found out what he had been doing he would have him sent off to a work house.

Once he is far enough away from the town he takes the wallet from his pocket with a huge smile and begins to count. He has collected fifteen shilling and he smiles to himself about adding it to his hidden tin. He had been saving for months now to give his ma and him a better life. He puts his loot safely back into his pocket and throws the wallet into the hedge.

He begins humming to himself as he walks along the lane, back to the big house. Proud of his day’s work he decides he will go home and put the supper on so his ma can relax after she has finished her tasks. But as he rounds the corner he pales as he sees his ma waiting at the gate with a face of thunder glaring at him. He swallows and slowly approaches the gates.

“And where have you been?” Dis says coolly, crossing her arms.

"Ma I can explain I just went for a walk," he lies, hoping his mother would believe him.

Dis steps forward and grabs her son hard by the arm. “You promised me you would go help Mister Balin. Instead you leave me to make up some excuse why you have not turned up. I cannot do this anymore, Kili. I will not keep lying for you. Now tell me the truth, where did you go?”

“I’ve told you, ma, I went into town. I was looking around the market, that's all. And Mister Balin says I hinder more than help him. I was just saving him double the work," he says, hoping his mother would accept this as an excuse, but looking at her face he can tell she isn't falling for it

“I have had enough of your excuses for one day. First you disturb the master. Then you shirk your duties. Now go inside. I have to finish of the laundry and then we will talk.” Kili is ready to turn, but she squeezes his arm a little harder. “And you had better be there when I return.”

"It's not my fault the master hates me! I didn't even do anything," Kili moans, shaking his arm out of his mother's grip and stomping off towards the little shack thumbing the pocket with the money in.

Dis sighs deeply, staring after her son. It had not been easy raising him all by herself after his father had abandoned her as soon as she had told him she was with child. But now that Kili was getting older he had become increasingly harder to handle. She knows it cannot be easy for him either, living here on the remote estate with only his mum, the old gardener and Mr Oakenshield for company. She does not think the master hates him, but neither is he fond of her reckless son. But he is just a kid. And although she does her best to keep him on the straight and narrow now that he is nearly a head taller than her she cannot control him like she used to when he was but a toddler.

She bends down to pick up the heavy basket of linen and walks towards the laundry room at the back of the grand house. Tomorrow she will make him apologise to Mister Balin. And if Mr Oakenshield appears from his studies she will make him apologise to him also. He needs to learn there are consequences to his behaviour.


	2. A Job

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Balin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by Lady Luna
> 
> 13/07 minor amendment to the wages following further research (which is very confusing!!)

“Mr Oakenshield,” Dis says softly. “My son has something to say to you.” She bows and closes the door behind her, leaving Kili stood in front of the master’s desk.

 After hours of refusing, his mother has finally won and he is forced to give an apology he doesn't even mean. The master is giving him a self-satisfying look which makes him just want to rip his head off, but he hangs his head in what is an attempt in looking repentant. "I'm truly sorry, sir, it won't happen again," he says looking at his feet so Mr Oakenshield cannot see there is no sign of remorse in his eyes. He fiddles with his cap which he had taken off as a mark of respect at his mother’s instruction when he entered the room. His wild brown hair trails down his back making him look younger than his fifteen years.

 “How old are you, boy?” Mr Oakenshield rises to his feet and walks up to the young lad, forcing him to look up to him.

 "Fifteen sir" he answers looking straight into the man's cold grey eyes.

 “Fifteen,” Mr Oakenshield nods slowly. “I have a nephew who is fifteen. He has just started work as an apprentice bookkeeper.” He bends himself closer to the boy’s face. “And what about you, boy?”

 “I.. I help tend your vegetable patch and do chores around the manor," he replies looking up at the master’s face and trying to walk further away feeling a little intimidated.

 “I do not employ you,” Mr Oakenshield states coolly. “If I did we would be having a very different conversation right now, I can assure you that. You are of working age. When I was your age I was already working in my father’s firm. And you … You loiter around, making a nuisance of yourself. You should be the main breadwinner for your family, taking care of your ma.” He stares coldly at the boy’s flushed face. “Instead you let your ma do all the work and you let her treat you like a prince. You should be ashamed of yourself, you good-for-nothing boy.” He turns his back and seats himself back behind his desk, picking up his pen to continue his work, clearly deeming this conversation to be over.

 Kili wants to bellow back that he is not lazy and Mr Oakenshield probably had it easy at his father's law firm. He can feel his face heat with anger and has to resist the urge to smash something. He opens his mouth to argue, then shuts it, not wanting to get his ma into any more trouble. He stands there just looking at Mr Oakenshield for a few seconds then twists around on his heel and walks towards the door.

 Just as he is about to exit an idea comes to him and he turns back round and starts to approach the desk. "Sir, why don't you give me a job? I'll prove I'm not lazy. I'll work really hard," he says in a nervous voice.

 Mr Oakenshield looks up slowly in surprise. He gives the boy his due, he had not expected such a response. “A job?” he snorts. “And what sort of job did you think you would be any good at?”

 “I can help in the garden or clean or I'm quite handy, I can do repairs around the manor or I could tend to the horse, I'm good with animals," he babbles excitedly looking into Mr Oakenshield eyes.

 Thorin puts down his pen and folds his hands together, threading his fingers as he considers the youth in his study. He has never seen the boy this enthusiastic about anything and he has to admit that the lad has guts to ask him outright for a job. “Alright then,” he says slowly. “Balin is getting too old to be mucking out the stables. You will start immediately and you will report directly to me. I will pay you three shillings a week. You will report to me at six every morning, except for Sundays. If I find you lazing around or you break anything I will deduct it from your wages. You will be on trial for one month. Any questions?”

 "A boy of my age usually gets five shillings, sir. How about five shillings and I'll do the bits Mr Balin struggles with in the garden, sir. I'll work really hard, you won't find me slacking, sir," he replies knowing he is pushing his luck but can't help push the gentleman who is now also his master.

 “You have some cheek,” Thorin narrows his eyes at the long-haired boy. “Come here.” He beckons the lad to stand before his desk again.

 Kili instantly regrets his decision to push Mr Oakenshield. He swallows and can feel his face drain of all colour he slowly edges closer to the desk making sure he is just out of arm’s reach and can feel his body begin to shudder with a mixture of nerves and fear of his temper.

 Thorin looks at him closely. The boy is skinny, but tall. And if he works hard he might develop some strong muscles under those loose clothes. “You are on probation for one month at three shilling a week,” he states. “Impress me and you may negotiate the five shilling again. But if it turns out you have been wasting my time, I will not hesitate to throw you and your mother out. How is that? Do we have a deal?” he smirks.

 Kili lets out a gulp and the guilt of jeopardising his mother's job is overbearing. His mouth as always has run away with him. He thinks it over in his head and knows he has no other choice than to agree to his master’s terms. "It seems we do, sir," he nods looking into Mr Oakenshield’s arrogant smug face.

 Mr Oakenshield rises to his feet and holds out his hand, which Kili eyes suspiciously. “Then we are agreed,” he smiles in satisfaction.

 Kili reluctantly takes his hand. He does not trust his new master at all. He thinks the man may try trickery to make sure he messes up so the master has an excuse to throw him out as Kili knows he wants to. But he knows he has to make this work for his mother's sake.

“Off you go then,” Thorin waves a dismissive hand at the young boy. “You will start with the stables and once you have finished that you will find mister Balin, who will have more work for you to do. You report to me again at six this evening.” And he returns his attention to his work once more as the boy leaves his study.

 Kili rushes down the stairs practically jumping. He can feel excitement bubble inside of him. _I have a job a real job! One I can actually tell people about,_ he thinks happily to himself and opens the main door and rushes across the courtyard to the stables.

 “Good morning Jayne my old friend,” he says, fondly scratching behind her ears. She has a luscious glossy black coat which shimmers in the sun and is silky to the touch. Kili reaches out and hugs her neck. He breathes in her earthy smell like wood chips. He smiles at her and leans forward and kisses her white blaze.

 Kili spends much of his free time here at the stables whispering into Jayne’s ear. He has thought she was the most beautiful in the world the second he laid eyes on her. But he reminds himself he's meant to be working and picks up the pick fork and grabs the metal wheelbarrow.

 He begins to pick through the soiled straw bedding with the fork and dispose of the waste into the wheelbarrow all the time talking to Jayne.

 “Lordy, your shit stinks! For one horse you don't half make a mess. How much food do you eat?!" Kili moans after finding more horse muck buried among the straw.

 After two barrows full he brings in the fresh straw and begins scattering it around the stable stall, tossing it in the air with the pitch folk. He can feel sweat trickle down his back as he tosses it vigorously around.

 He walks over to the water bucket and realises it is empty. "Do you want some water, girl?" he asks reaching for and scratching her neck. He picks up the metal bucket and takes it outside to the old water trough.

 Just then he hears the stable door creak he feels his heart begin to race and his body fills with dread and he spins around to see the horse run across the yard towards the vegetable patch.

 He drops the bucket onto the cobbled floor causing a loud echoing bang. "Jayne, come back!" he calls and begins to run as fast as he can after her.

 _Master is going to kill me_! _Ma is going to lose her position and it's all my fault!_ He feels tears prick his eyes. He knows he needs to catch her and fast before she does any real damage. Maybe, just maybe, if I can get her back and get her into her stable maybe master would not know or he would go easy on him.

 Jayne has run out of eyeshot now and panic really starts to kick in. He increases his speed; his feet are being torn to ribbons as they thunder down on stones.

 He runs past the house as fast as his legs can carry him hoping and praying Mr Oakenshield is still buried in paperwork and does not need his horse until he can fix this mess.

 He can hear Balin shout in surprise and runs into the vegetable garden the sight that meets him would usually make him laugh if it wasn't for the dire situation. The grey elderly bearded man led on his back in the mud, he has paled and is glued to the spot in shock. Just then he notices the reckless boy and glares at him

 "The vegetables! Get the horse away from the lettuces!" he shouts and gets up brushing himself off. Jayne begins to eat a lettuce, unaware of the trouble she is causing.

 Kili grabs her mane and pulls her away from the lettuces. She begins to try and put her head back down to eat. “No, you can't eat that! You’re gonna get me into trouble!" he says, straining to keep hold of her and damaging his feet more by digging them into the ground to keep a hold of her.

 “Her lead, lad, where's her lead?" Balin asks, beginning to get over the shock of being knocked over by a black horse rushing towards the crops.

 "There wasn't enough time," he says in a low voice. He feels close to tears and is so disappointed with himself. He thought this was his chance to prove himself to Mr Oakenshield, to prove that he had been wrong about Kili. But he was right, he is a good-for -nothing boy, he thinks bitterly to himself.

 Balin looks at the boy’s face and can see the disappointment in it. He feels sympathy for the young boy and walks over to the little wooden shack in the corner of the garden in which he keeps his garden supplies and grabs a length of rope. "Here lad, use this," he suggests, tying it around the horse’s neck and giving the other end to Kili who accepts it gratefully.

 “Thank you, Mr Balin. Please can you not mention this to the master? He will have me and ma out, he said so," Kili pleads.

 Balin looks into the brunette boy’s scared, widened eyes. He had always had a soft spot for Kili. “I’ll tell you what, if Mr Oakenshield doesn't ask me straight I won't tell him. But if he does I have to tell him. Agreed?" He asks, smiling at the relieved look on Kili’s face.

 “Thank you, Mr Balin, thank you." He feels himself begin to calm. Maybe, just maybe, he will get away with this, he thinks to himself hopefully.

 “Best get her back to the stables before anyone realises she and you are missing," Balin advises.

 Kili grabs the rope tighter and leads Jayne back to her stable.

 The rest of the day seems to rush by with no other problems. When six o'clock comes he finds himself pacing outside the master’s door, trying to sum up the courage to knock. This is stupid. If he knew he would have found me, he thinks to himself and he very reluctantly knocks on the door.

 “Come in,” Mr Oakenshield’s deep voice calls from within the study.

 Kili nervously pushes the door open his heart is beating so fast he swears Mr Oakenshield can hear it across the room. He slowly walks over to the desk." I finished for the day, sir," he utters in a quiet voice.

 Mr Oakenshield leans himself back in his chair and folds his hands in front of him on the desk. “Tell me what you have done today, boy.”

 He doesn't know if to tell the truth or lie. If he tells the truth he could be in trouble but if he lies he could be just as much He decides to tell a half-truth. "I cleaned out the horse stalls and then helped in the garden, sir," he replies trying to keep his voice even.

 “I see,” the man in his mid-thirties considers the youth in his study carefully. “And everything went okay? You had no problems?”

  _He knows!_ he panics. "I did have a minor problem," he admits. "But don't worry, sir, it's all sorted now," he reassures him.

 “Good,” Mr Oakenshield says calmly. Then he leans himself forward across his desk and looks at the scraped and muddy feet on his carpet. “What happened to your feet, boy?”

 Kili looks at his feet and curses himself for not cleaning them before he came into the house. "It’s nothing, sir. It won't stop me from working, I promise," he mutters looking at his feet, noticing the pain in them for the first time in hours.

 “Have you no shoes?”

 Kili shakes his head unable to meet the master’s eyes.

 Mr Oakenshield considers him for a moment. “Right, off you go then. Remember six o’clock tomorrow morning. Do not be late, boy.”

 Kili looks at the man, astounded that he actually got away with it. It takes him a couple of seconds to realise he has been dismissed, then comes to his senses. "Yes sir, goodnight sir," he says and rushes out the door.

Thorin leans himself back in his chair, staring at the door that has fallen shut behind the young lad. A smile spreads across his face. Perhaps he should have said something about the incident with Jayne, which he had witnessed from his study’s, drawn to the large bay window by the commotion going on outside. But seeing his gardener splayed across the vegetable patch as Kili had desperately tried to get his horse to move away from the crops had been such an amusing sight that it had actually made him laugh. Something that he has not done for a very long time indeed. And at least Kili had not lied to him about there having been problems, but he had sorted them out. Perhaps this arrangement could work after all. 


	3. Mr Nesbitt

“I need you to run some errands for me this morning, boy,” Mr Oakenshield states, not looking at the scruffy young lad that hovers in front of his desk. He rummages through his drawers and pulls out a money box and some envelopes. “I need you to deliver these letters for me,” he hands the brunet the envelopes. “The addresses are written on them.”

Kili looks at the letters and frowns, feeling surprised and a little embarrassed “Er, sir, I um … I can't read,” he says nervously, feeling his face flush red in embarrassment at the admission and he avoids looking at Mr Oakenshield.

The well-dressed master of the house sighs in frustration and yanks the letters back out of the boy’s hands. He scribbles a cross in the corner of one of the letters. “The one with the cross is to go to G Istari & Sons, the silversmith. You know where that is, boy?” he snaps impatiently.

The brunet can feel himself getting a little angry. It is not his fault his mother cannot afford schooling; he would love to be able to read and write but he knows he probably never will be able to do either. “I'll find it,” he answers a little firmly then adds a “sir” on the end when he remembers who he is speaking too.

Mr Oakenshield cocks his head ever so slightly and his intense gaze does not waiver from the boy’s when he hands him back the other letter. “And this one is to be delivered to Nesbitt & Co. The apothecary. Whilst you are there I need you to pick up an order for me. Just hand him this note and Mr Nesbitt will know what it is for.” He considers the lanky brunet for a moment before he hands over the folded piece of paper, weighing up whether he can trust the boy. He puts the piece of paper on the table and unlocks the money tin, taking out a coin, which he places on top of the order. “This will more than enough to cover the bill.”

The long haired boy looks at the coin in shock; he has never seen that much money before in his life. He knows the master is rich but didn't know he had that much money lying around. Was this spare change to him? “But that's a pound coin,” he says astounded, looking at the gold coin.

“Indeed. A lot of money, so I trust you to handle it accordingly. And I know exactly how much the bill comes to, so don’t get any ideas of slipping a penny or two in your back pocket,” he narrows his eyes at the youth. “Once you have picked up my parcel, I need you to go to the cobbler on New Oxford Street. Get him to make you a pair of workshoes. Can’t have you running around my house with those dirty feet of yours.”

Kili can feel himself begin to get excited. “Really, truly I've never had a new pair of shoes!” But then his excitement quickly disappears. “But sir I cannot afford new shoes,” he admits bitterly.

Thorin raises an eyebrow. “I believe you have more than enough money in your hand right there to buy a pair thrice over. Consider it part of your uniform. I don’t want my staff looking like they have just walked in off the streets. Now get out of here. And don’t mess up!” He locks up the money tin, putting the tin back in his drawer, and he sticks the key back in his breast pocket, picking up his pen once more.

“I won't, sir” the long haired boy promises a look of determination on his face. He walks to the door then turns back around, facing Mr Oakenshield, “and, sir, thank you” he says giving the well-dressed man a massive smile.

Mr Oakenshield nods, but does not return to smile or even looks at the boy, indicating to Kili that he is dismissed.

Kili feels his face drop and feels stupid for being friendly. What’s the point? Screw being nice, he thinks and makes a quick exit shutting the door harder than he intends to behind him.

As Kili makes his way towards town it begins to rain the second he shuts the old gate. He lets out a sigh and takes off his cap, grabbing his hair and bunching it up on top of his head, putting the cap on top so his hair doesn't get wet. His feet feel cold and he can't help smiling thinking of the promise that in a few days’ time he will have some warm shoes and dry feet. It will sure make the long walk into town a much more pleasurable experience.

The little town is almost deserted due to people trying to get shelter from the rain. The people that do remain outside look miserable and are by their stalls, trying to hide under the canopies. Kili walks past the vegetable stall and reaches out as the stall owner is looking longingly at the local tavern and he grabs two apples one for him, one for Jayne. He often brings Mr Oakenshield’s horse a skilfully acquired treat when he is in town.

He sees the grey building of G. Istari and Sons, which is his first stop, and gazes in the window where there are beautiful silver bracelets with different coloured stones cased in each one and sterling silver photo frames.  

He moves to the door and pushes it open. A little bell goes off inside the shop and Kili looks around for a shopkeeper but doesn't see anyone. “Hello?” he calls out into the shop but he gets no reply.

Kili begins to scan the items on display - beautiful rings with sparkling diamonds in them and watches with quartz faces on display in a cabinet. Kili's eyes fall on a stunning silver backed hand mirror, with swirling flowers engraved into to it and stones of a cherry red colour. He thinks of his mother's birthday, which is coming up, and wishes he had the funds to buy it for her. He reaches out his hand to examine the item further.

“Can I help you, young man?” a voice says from behind and he jumps in surprise and retracts his hand back into himself.

He turns around to see a tall silver haired man stood behind the counter eyeing him suspiciously “Can I help you?” he repeats, scanning his eyes around the shop to see if any of the contents are missing.

The brunet approaches the counter and fumbles in his pocket looking for the envelope with the cross on it. He pulls it out of his pocket and hands it to the gentleman. “My master, Mr Oakenshield, asked me to give you this,” he tells him scanning his eyes around the room looking at all the beautiful things on display.

The gentleman reads the note, then grabs a bottle of ink, a quill and a piece of parchment paper and begins to write.

Kili walks back over to look at the mirror again. “How much is this sir?” He asks looking back to the man.

The shopkeeper stops writing and raises his eyebrows and looks Kili up and down, taking in his unkempt appearance. “Too much for a boy like you,” he replies and looks back to the parchment and continues writing.

“I didn't ask if it was too much, I asked for a price” the brunet states bravely, looking at the shop keep.

The man gives out an irritated sigh and looks back at the boy’s face. “Three pounds five shillings. Why, do you want me to hold it for you?” He sneers.

Kili knows he has not got enough money saved up in his tin and shakes his head at the shop keep, who lets out a little scoff and puts the letter into an envelope sealing it with a wax seal. He hands the envelope to Kili.  ”Give this back to your master. He will know if you have looked, hence the seal,” he says nastily.

“Yes sir,” Kili replies, pocketing the envelope and he hurries away from the shop and the nasty man.

Once he has left the shop he walks to the apothecary on the corner. He knows Mr Nesbitt fairly well as his mother sends him to pick up bits and bobs from him from time to time. It is still raining but harder now; he can hear the rain bouncing on the roof tops and even the market stalls have been packed away due to the showers.

He walks into the apothecary shop and takes off his hat, ringing it out creating a puddle of water on the wooden floor. He looks up and smiles at the Irish man behind the counter who smiles back at him.

“Hello young master Kili what can I do for you today?” Mr Nesbitt asks kindly.

“Hello! My master has asked me to give you this and to pick up a parcel,” Kili informs him proudly.

“Your master?” The Irishman inquires, putting on a black framed pair of spectacles and scanning the letter.

“Yes, my master. I have a job working for Mr Oakenshield,” Kili tells the man in an excited voice.

“Oh aye, well I'll get your master’s parcel at once, young sir.” Mr Nesbitt puts the letter on the counter and disappears into the supply room.

Kili loves coming here, to this dull murky brown coloured shop with  loads of shelves. Not only is Mr Nesbitt a kind-hearted man, Kili likes looking at the odd coloured oils and medicines on the shelves. He picks up a square looking bottle and uncorks it, smelling the liquid contents. It smells pungent and reminds Kili of rotten cabbages and he gags and re-corks the bottle, carefully putting it back on the shelf.

He walks back to the desk just as Mr Nesbitt re-enters the shop.

“I have it here. Your master owes four shillings,” the apothecary   informs the boy.

Kili pulls out the shiny pound from his pocket and hands it to the kind shop keeper who hands him sixteen shillings change, which Kili quickly pockets, afraid to misplace any of the coin after Mr Oakenshield’s earlier threat.

Mr Nesbitt hands the dirty youth the parcel and a letter. “Be sure to give this to Mr Oakenshield also,” he tells the boy kindly.

“I will, sir,” he reassures him, walking to the door. “Good day!” he calls over his shoulder as he is leaving the store.

He puts his cap back on and makes his way further down the cobbled high street until he comes to the cobblers. He is unsure if he has the right shop at first as he looks at the well-tailored shoes in the window, but then spots a pair identical to the master’s and knows he is in the right place.

He reluctantly walks in and looks around, eyeing the well-dressed ladies and gentlemen tying on models of shoes that are available for order.

He walks up to the counter and notices the stares as he walks past and suddenly wants to retreat and flee the store. A lady dressed in a pink frilly dress nudges the gentleman she seems to be with, who is dressed in a grey suit and waistcoat, and whispers something into his ear and they both begin to snigger pointedly. The rest just give Kili looks of disgust at his appearance, and avoid his gaze as he looks curiously around the shop.

The brunet begins to feel really small as he approaches the salesman behind the counter who has short cropped curls and a slim pointed face. He reminds Kili a little bit of a one of the foxes he sometimes sees on Mr Oakenshield’s estate.

“You’re dripping water all over my carpet. Get out!” he thunders ushering the boy towards the door.

“But ... but sir, my master, he told me to get some work shoes from here. He gave me some money and told me to order some,” he hurriedly says as the man grabs his arm and leads him to the door.

“Then this master of yours can come and order them himself!” he snaps and removes the boy from the store shutting the door in his face.

He can feel tears leave his eyes and run down his cheeks. He thinks of Mr Oakenshield and flinches at the thought of his temper when he finds out he has failed to complete his tasks. He wraps his oversized thin blue coat around his thin body and walks out in the rain not caring if he is getting wet; he is soaked to the skin anyway.

He kicks a stone across the town square feeling truly miserable.

“Kili!” he hears a voice behind him shout and he whizzes around to be greeted by his red-headed, freckled friend sheltering in a door way. He is smoking from a pipe that Kili knows he’s stolen.

“Hello Ori,“ Kili mumbles and makes his way over to the doorway wiping his face free from rain and tears.

Ori hands him the pipe which Kili accepts taking a puff from the pipe and blowing out smoke. Ori looks at the younger boy and can tell he is upset. “What’s wrong, Fingers?” he asks, calling him by his nickname. Kili had got the name Fingers because he was light fingered when he pick-pocketed and hardly ever got caught.

“I’m fine he lies adjusting the large parcel in his hands so he doesn’t drop it on the floor.

Ori eyes the parcels with a grin. “Let’s have a look at those, they could be valuable!” he says grabbing for the parcel in the brunet’s arms. Ori catches the brunet unaware, and Kili tries to keep hold of the parcel but fails and it falls out of his hands and on the floor with a smash.

Kili’s breath begins to quicken as he panics and he sinks to his knees picking up the parcel. “No, no, no,” he trembles all over, and can feel a wave of fear come over his whole body. He turns to the older lad who begins to laugh at the look of horror on the brunet’ s face, feeling a wave of anger at the trouble his friend has caused him. He puts his hands into a ball and brings it down on the older boys face.

His knuckles cracks as his Fist his the bridge of his nose and  the nose gives a satisfying crunch, a flow of blood gushes over Kili's knuckle.

All Kili can feel is anger and fear “ DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE??” He bellows and marches off towards the manor.

He can feel his body begin to shudder with fear and fresh hot tears mix in with the rain water. He looks down at his clothing which is saturated and covered in mud.

He looks at his hand is pleased to see his knuckles were covered in Ori's blood, he walks straight  into the house and up to the first floor and knocks on the masters study  door deciding to just face the master and get it over and done with.

Mr Oakenshield eyes the soaking wet youth in the doorway.”you are not coming in like that,” he says evenly.”has your mother not taught you any manners at all? Go and sort yourself out and return when you are in a presentable state to address me,'' he waves his hand.

Kili can feel all the disappointment of the day bubble up inside him and puts the letters and broken parcel on the desk he then takes the money out of his pocket and places it on top of the parcel on the desk “ you won't want me to come back sir” he says trying to keep control of his emotion

Thorin stares at the items that have been put in front of him and then at the boy who is trying to make a quick exit.”hold it right there,” he growls.

The brunet reluctantly turns around and looks  at the floor blinking back tears  unable to meet the masters gaze.

''what do you mean by that? Explain yourself,  boy.”

Kili swallows “ your package sir someone knocked into me and it got broken I heard it crack I'm sorry” he uttered trying not to sob

Mr Oakenshield rises to his feet with such a rapid movement that it makes Kili flinch. He strides around his desk and cuts the rope with his letter opener. He rips open the box and gasps at the devastation inside, swinging around to Kili.”You stupid boy! Such a simple task and you still manage to screw up!'' He takes two undamaged bottles out of the box and places them on the table, before picking up the box with the remaining broken bottles shoving it back in Kili's arms.”Take it back and get Mr Nesbitt to replace what you’ve broken. As I warned you yesterday I'll be deducting the damage from your wages. What were you even thinking coming here with this!”

“ Yes sir there is something else you should know too sir they.. They wouldn't let me buy my shoes in the shop” brunet replies quietly  ” the man he said he wouldn't help me and shooed me out the shop because I was dripping water on the carpet and if I wanted shoes I should send my master for them” he told him fearfully looking down at his mud covered feet

Thorin can feel his temper flare. How dare the shoemaker demand him to go all the way into town to complete what is clearly a servant's task. He grabs his coat and high hat from the stand in the corner and grabs Kili's arm hard.”Do I have to do everything myself?!” he snaps, pushing the boy out of his study.”Get Mr Balin to prepare the  carriage to take me into town. I knew i shouldn't have trusted you, you useless boy!” he adds venomously as he shoves the brunet ahead of him.

“Yes sir,” he squeaks rubbing his arm where the man had grabbed him. He can feel the tears run down his face. He has always found Mr Oakenshield frightening with his tall frame and deep voice but the look on his face made him want to be as far from the well dressed man as possible and he runs to tell Mr Balin of his task.

When Mr Oakenshield appears in the doorway of the coach house he is wearing his long thick black coat. He carries his tall hat under his right arm, ready to take his seat in the carriage, and in the left he holds an elegantly decorated cane.

Balin spots the master and hurriedly opens the carriage door for him after being pre warned that Mr Oakenshield was In a foul mood he made the minimalist conversation he could “ your carriage sir” he politely said and eyed where the young boy was stood which was in a corner trying to make himself hidden from view.

Mr Oakenshield’s eyes snap towards the teenager. “Well, what are you waiting for? I have not got all day.” And he holds the door open, holding out his cane to block Kili’s only escape route.

Kili walks a little closer unsure what he Is meant to do he eyes the stable door wondering if he could exit by ducking under the Cane but realising this wouldn't work and starts walking towards the master and stops in front of him and looks at his face confused.

“Get in,” Mr Oakenshield snarls, grabbing him by the elbow once more and pushing him up the step into the carriage. He takes the box with the broken goods from Balin and shoves it roughly at the boy. “And hold that.” He climbs in after the youth, taking his seat opposite as Balin closes the door behind him. He does not look at the boy, instead fixes his eyes hard on something beyond the steamed up glass as the coach slowly begins to move forward.

The brunet lets out a squeak as the carriage moves suddenly, he has never even sat in a coach before let alone ridden in one and finds the movement a little worrying. He looks at his well dressed masters face wanting to say something anything to take his mind off the movement as he is uncertain if he likes it but thinks better of it and starts twiddling his thumbs.

“Are you alright?” Mr Oakenshield suddenly asks, as Kili grabs hold of the thick cushion as the carriage makes a sudden left turn. The young lad looks distinctly uncomfortable and a little pale. He tilts his head, his bright eyes burrowing into the deep brown of the younger passenger.

Kili looks at the man startled at the sudden concern in his voice and grabs the handle of the carriage to steady himself “ I think so sir this is my first time in a coach” he admits feeling slightly embarrassed and tightens the grip on the handle as the coach gives a particularly loud jolt

“You may find it easier facing the direction of travel,” Mr Oakenshield says in an even tone as he moves a little to the right to make space for the boy next to him. He returns his stare to the outside world, not paying Kili any further attention as the carriage picks up speed on the straight country road that leads straight into town.

Kili feels uneasy about the suggestion but follows the man's advice so not  to anger him further and moves seats making sure to bring the package with him. As the coach gains speed he closes his eyes tight and tries to relax his breathing which had quickened he had began to feel quite queasy. And feels a sense of relief as the carriage stops.  

Mr Oakenshield waits for Balin to open the door for him and slowly frees his tall stature from the confines of the carriage. “Wait here,” he orders Balin and he walks in long strides towards the apothecary of Mr Nesbitt, not waiting for Kili who has to almost run after him to catch up, still feeling a little unsteady on his feet. Mr Oakenshield is already at the door when Kili finally catches up and pushes open the door, making the little door bell jingle in an all too familiar fashion.

He keeps behind the master not wanting to draw too much attention to his self, and feels relieved to be out of the carriage.  

“ young  master Kili, Mr Oakenshield what can I do for you this afternoon” he asks kindly.

Mr Oakenshield grabs the damaged box out of Kili’s hands and puts it onto the counter. “Dear Mr Nesbitt,” he says in his deep dark voice. “I am so sorry to waste your time, but unfortunately young master Kili does not know how to take care of valuable things.” He opens the box and shows the shop owner the damage done to the goods purchased. “Would you be so kind to replace the broken goods for me.” He throws Kili a dark glance before returning his gaze to the Irishman.

The Irishman looks at the boy and feels a wave of sympathy for him. It is commonly known the well-dressed gentleman has a temper and has always been afraid to get on the wrong side of Mr Oakenshield. He wants to defend the boy but knows it will make things worse for Kili so just smiles politely at the tall man “ of course sir no problem I'll just get them for you now” he informs him and walks into the storage room to get the required items.

After a few minutes Mr Nesbitt returns with the required goods In a fresh Box and forces a smile at Mr Oakenshield whose mood does not seem to of improved and he gives Kili a sympathetic look then turns back to the well-dressed man “ here are your replacements” and hands the box to the gentleman.

“How much do I owe you?” Mr Oakenshield asks, pulling his purse out of his inside pocket.

The Irishman looks at the boy who has head hung low and he suspects he is crying and then looks at Mr Oakenshield “ no charge sir as a thanks for your custom” he says with a false smile.

Mr Oakenshield glances sideways at the youth and smiles back at Mr Nesbitt. “You are very kind.” And to Kili he smirks, “It seems this is your lucky day, boy.” He grabs the box, putting on his hat before he grabs his cane and nods to Mr Nesbitt. “Good day to you, sir.” And he strides in the same determined step back onto the street.

“ sir would you like me to carry it” Kili nervously offers  knowing it is his place to offer and looking up at his master

Mr Oakenshield looks down at the boy with a mocking scowl. “I hardly think so, boy. You may have been lucky once, but I am not going to let you wreck my purchases again.”

Kili flinches at the harsh words and wonders if he will ever be able to do anything right in the man's eyes he spots a stone on the floor and gives a little kick across the cobbles.y

“Don’t even think about doing that when you get your shoes,” Thorin growls and holds out his cane in front of the lad, pointing at the shoemaker’s shop, stopping Kili dead in his tracks. “Hold open the door for me,” Mr Oakenshield orders him, sighing in frustration that the youngster really appears to have no idea how to behave as his servant and questioning whether he had been a fool to offer him a job.

Kili hurriedly gets the door and looks nervously In the shop at the well dressed ladies and gentleman and swallows, he looks at Mr Oakenshield cold eyes and waits For him to walk past which he does paying him no attention.

“Mr Oakenshield,” one of the gentleman nods politely to the well known lawyer. “How are you?”

Mr Oakenshield gives a curt nod back. “A goodday to you, sir. I am having a rather stressful day, truth be told.” He glares at the cobbler who has re-appeared from his backroom in order to assist his well-paying clients and who pales as soon as he spots the tall gentleman and the skinny scruffy boy behind him, recognising the youth as the one he had thrown out of his shop only a few hours earlier. “It appears that a simple task which I had given my tea boy here to undertake was hindered by what I can only assume was a misunderstanding.” He turns fully to the short-framed shopkeeper now. “Was it not, Mr Brophy?”

The cobbler swallows hard as his cheeks flush a bright red under the hard stare of the influential gentleman. “Mr Oakenshield,” he stutters, “a terrible misunderstanding indeed. If young master here,” he throws the youth a deathly glare, “had but said that he worked for you then of course I would have fulfilled the order straight away.”

“I assume that for the inconvenience you have caused me and for wasting my time, that you will be able to make some appropriate reductions to the bill.” He bends himself just a little closer to the man. “Unless of course I am better of taking my custom elsewhere?”

He can see the nervous flicker in the cobbler’s eyes, knowing full well that he is one of the richest customers of the little shop. “I am sure I can do you a good price, Mr Oakenshield,” the slim faced tradesman flushes even redder. “And I can have your order ready the day after tomorrow.”

“I am out of town the day after tomorrow,” Mr Oakenshield states coolly. “Tomorrow noon will be quite acceptable.”

Mr Brophy swallows hard, knowing that he will have to work deep into the night to fulfill such a tall order. But he has already upset  one of his best customer once and he cannot afford to risk losing Mr Oakenshield’s custom. “I will do my very best, sir,” he nods.

Mr Oakenshield smiles in satisfaction and steps aside, pushing Kili forward to have his feet measured.

The cobbler screws up his face as the youth places his muddied and calloused feet next to his measuring stick, but he is well aware of the eyes of the tall gentleman on him and holds his tongue as he makes the required notes on the leystone. “All done,” he tries to smile although he really wants to wipe his hands on his apron, silently cursing the dirty youth and his master for making him look like a fool in front of his other customers. “A sturdy pair of work shoes, am I correct?” he checks the order and Mr Oakenshield nods. “They will be ready for you at noon tomorrow, sir.”

Mr Oakenshield places his hat back on and pulls slightly at the rim at the front in greeting, before turning on the spot, indicating for Kili to follow him back to the carriage. He’s wasted enough of his precious time already today.


	4. Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite
> 
> Thorin and Dis written by ladyluna

The ride back to Erebor Hall is as awkwardly silent as before. Thorin holds his hat on his lap as he stares into nothing, his thoughts already back at the case that is taking up so much of his time currently. Sadly the case involving a drunk husband accused of murdering his wife is not that uncommon. However the fact that the woman woke with her throat cut and had been conscious enough to run out into the street before collapsing, combined with the fact that Mr Davis denied all knowledge of the event, having been hysterical over the loss of his wife when he'd been told about the murder made it all the more complicated.

He is jolted from his thoughts as the coach lurches over the little bridge across the brook and the youth next to him tumbles against his arm. 

Kili jumps at the contact. "Sorry, sir," he mumbles, wishing the coach would stop so he could get out.

He gives the boy a brief sidelong glance, feeling a little awkward. And as always when the boy catches him off guard he feels a dull ache in his chest. His son would have been only a few years younger than Kili had he lived. It should be him sat next to him, chattering happily to him about all the exciting things a young boy from a good home would get up to. Instead he's stuck in this uncomfortably small space with a surly ungrateful teenager who seems to have no discernable talent other than to cause trouble. 

He is grateful when they finally pull up at the coach house of his estate. And his passenger appears to be equally relieved that the tense ride home has come to an end as he flies towards the door. 

“Do you think you can carry this box to my study without breaking it?” he nips at the youth, holding out the box to him.

" yes sir" kili replies he is grateful to actually be able to do something and takes the box off Mr Oakenshield making sure he has a good grip on it and follows the man towards the house.  
“Just leave it on the desk,” Mr Oakenshield points. “And then go and help Balin brush down Jayne.” He watches the youth place the box carefully in the appointed spot and turn towards the door. Just as he is about to leave the room, he calls out to him, “Can you cook, boy?”

Kili turns back towards his master with a smile on his face finally something he knew he could do without messing up " yes sir my ma taught me from a young age" he said feeling confident that he could do whatever was asked of him. 

Thorin nods, as he takes off his wet coat and hang it on the coat stand. Dis was an excellent cook and if her son was only half as good as her he would still be able to plate up a decent enough meal. Once upon a time the household had comprised of many servants and the estate had been full of activity. But since the death of the lady of the house the atmosphere had turned somber. Servants had left and he had seen no need to replace them. He is hardly ever here anyway. The only reason why he has not yet sold Erebor Hall is because the estate has been in his family for many generations and he cannot bring himself to sell it off. But in reality it had stopped being a home to him the moment Arwen had died. Now it was just a place where he came for some peace and quiet, to work on the paperwork for his cases. And after his last chef, Bombur, had left, only two of the original household staff remained - Dis and Balin. 

Balin had worked for his family’s estate for as long as he could remember. He had worked for his father before him and was honourable, hard working and reliable. But he was getting old now and some of the more manual tasks were becoming too much for him now. 

Dis had been hired by Arwen, originally as the laundry maid. Thorin remembers her then, what must be nearly fifteen years ago now. How she had turned up with the infant, begging for a job, promising his wife that she would work really hard. And a smile pulls at the corner of his mouth. Her son has definitely taken after his mother in that respect. 

He suddenly realises that the boy is still hovering in the doorway, awaiting further instruction. And his mask slides back in place as he scrapes his throat. “You can help your ma in the kitchen later then,” he says, turning his back.

Kili suddenly feels himself pale he can cook extremely well but knows if he messes up again he will face Mr Oakenshield’s wrath and the thought terrifies him he reluctantly nods " its there anything in particular you would like for dinner sir?" He asks trying to sound confident. 

Thorin turns around in surprise. Dis never asks him what he liked to eat. Whatever she serves him is fine. Food is just a necessity and although her cooking is lovely, by default it is not something he takes pleasure in. He cocks his head at the scruffy lad. “Why don’t you surprise me?” he gives the boy a curt, but genuine smile, before he takes up position in his usual spot again. At his desk, burying his nose in paperwork.

 

Kili begins to panic at the smile, the master he noticed had a habit of smirking at him and he gulps knowing it was a promise of punishment if he fails to make a suitable meal and the fact he hadn't answered what he would like to eat panics him more what if he made something Mr Oakenshield didn't like. He could himself begin to shake at the thought of making an error " yes sir" he manages to squeak and hastily exits the room. 

Thorin leans back in his chair as soon as the door has fallen shut and drags a hand across his face. Today had been strange day for sure. He has never spent this much time in the company of a youngster other than his brother Frerin’s son Fili. And although it is true that his teenage nephew is a promising student already, he is also an incredibly spoilt brat. 

Dis’ son … he is not sure what to make of him. The boy is clumsy and uneducated. But somehow, despite all his mistakes, he has also left an impression on him today. He seemed fearless almost in the way he spoke to him. Thorin is all too aware that both his tall strong built, his deep voice and his high status as a barrister put fear into grown men. Therefore to have a fifteen year old lad own up to him that he had messed up has rather impressed him. The boy did not seem to play by the same rules as everyone else that he knew. Perhaps it is unsurprising since he has grown up as an only child on the estate. There had been another child up to about seven eight years ago, his valet’s boy who had perhaps been two or so years older than Kili. But Thorin had let the man go when his work had demanded his ever increasing presence in the city and he spent less and less time at Erebor Hall. 

He gets to his feet and walks up to the window, just catching a glimpse of the brunet as he darts across the yard towards the little servant accomodation that he and his mother share. He has not visited the outbuildings for years. And for the first time ever he thinks that the teenage boy must be lonely, living her with nothing but his mother, old mister Balin and himself for company. This is hardly a place for a young boy to grow up. 

He sighs as the flash of brown hair disappears from view and returns to his desk. He knows he needs to catch up on the time lost having to sort out the earlier problems. Looking at the solicitor’s notes the case is hardly strong and Mr Davis faces the gallows if his defence does not hold up. He sits himself down once more and begins to write up his notes to take back with him to London the day after tomorrow.

Kili runs into the shack his heart racing. Why hadn't he just lied? He wants to impress Mr Oakenshield. To show him he is worth employing. The day has gone completely wrong but perhaps he could salvage the damage he had done. 

“Kili!” Dis cries out in a fright as her son comes thundering through the door. “Where the hell have you been all day?!”

" doing some errands for Mr Oakenshield,which I completely messed up" he tells her bitterly and flops down onto the floor in front sof the fire holding his hands towards it to warm them. 

“Errands for Mr Oakenshield?” Dis raises a surprised eyebrow. “Howcome?”

" I wanted to surprise you Ma, I asked the master for a job and he's given me one oh but don't get too excited ma" he says quickly as he sees the happy look on his mother's face " I completely mucked up today I don't think Mr Oakenshield will keep me on" he finishes rubbing his sore foot.

Dis looks at her son. She feels proud of him for having been so proactive to ask the master for a job and being offered one. And she feels sad that he has such a low opinion of himself. “I am sure you will do a great job,” she tries to encourage him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and ruffling his hair. “What happened to your foot?” she asks concerned.

"Yesterday Jayne got out and I chased her across the courtyard and cut my feet. It's nothing, ma," he reassures her dropping his foot and staring into the flames of the fire.

“Let’s have a look,” Dis persists, not satisfied with her son’s casual dismissal. She bends herself down to examine his foot. “It looks sore, love,” he frowns. “You need to clean it or it will get infected.”

" it will be fine ma honestly once I get my shoes the master has order it will be fine" he forces a smile at his over affectionate protective mother " I cleaned it with salty water yesterday anyway" he added once he could see she wasn't going to drop the subject and began to shiver as as a chill went up his spine. 

Dis stares at her son in horror. “We cannot afford shoes!” she protests, worried at what her son has agreed to this time without her knowledge.

" that's what I said to the master too but he brought them for me ma, he got my feet measured at a really posh shoe shop and said he was paying for them" he babbles excitedly. 

Dis cannot believe her ears. The master, who has told her so many  
times that her son is a waste of space and should be sent to a workhouse, has not only given her son a job, but has also bought him shoes? Real shoes! Something she would never have been able to afford to by her Kili. “Oh Kili, that is so kind of him! I do hope you thanked him for his generosity!” Before her son has a chance to reply, his mum begins to cough, wrapping her arms around her chest and she tries to draw air into her lungs. 

Kili runs over to the bed and pulls out the smelling salts from under the pillow, he had noticed his mum had been coughing more and more over the past couple of weeks and had used some of the money from his tin to buy some smelling salts for her. He had told her she needed to see a doctor but of course she had stubbornly refused claiming it would pass. He rushes back towards the fire place and puts them under her nose " its ok ma I'm here, breath it in ma" he ordered and tries to keep his voice calm even though he is petrified. 

The pungent smell initially makes her chest contract even more. But combined with Kili's gentle rubbing of her back the coughing fit begins to pass and she can breathe more freely again. ''thank you, love, '' she sighs hoarsely. ''I ... I am fine now. '' She knows that this cough has lasted for too long already and she should really see a doctor. But she can neither afford the surgeons fee nor any medicine he would prescribe her so what's the point? It's just a cough. Probably something she picked up in the hospice where she had been working these last few months to try and supplement her wages. Kili was growing so fast now and she knew his clothes were worn to threads. She hoped that she would have saved up enough before winter to buy him a second hand coat. One that was slightly less moth eaten than the one he's wearing now. 

He watches as his ma's breath returns and makes a decision " Ma you need to rest I'll cover the rest of your tasks for the day, just get some sleep master has asked me to cook tonight anyway I might as well finish the cleaning too I've finished my tasks " he lies knowing full well he still needs to tend to Jayne. He can see the colour return to her face but she still looks very pale. He rushes to get her a drink " drink this ma come on let's get you on the bed so you can just relax" he suggests helping her with the drink as her hands are still shaky. 

''Are.. Are you sure? " Dis looks at her son, gratefully accepting the drink. He's grown up so fast, she realises with a shock. He'd been her little boy for so long. But in reality he's a young man now and old enough to do the tasks he's offered to complete. 

" I'm sure and I'll do a real good job" he reassures her " now come on let's get you on the bed" he coaxes supporting her arm with his and guiding her to the rusty old bed. 

"Kili, I'm fine, really, "she protests weakly. But truth be told she is grateful to have a night off. This cough has really taken it out if her and she feels so tired. "Thanks, son," she smiles at him, then frowns at his dirty clothes. "You'll have to change into your clean clothes, " she frets. "And there is an apron in the kitchen. And the.... "

"Trust me I'll be fine, you just get better, don't worry about me, you worry far too much" he calmly tells her giving her a huge smile when actually he is worried the master really seems to hate me he thinks and grabs the salts to put under his mother's pillow " its there anything else I can do to help you ma" he asks looking at her who still seems shaky. 

"No no, love, i will be fine, " Dis whispers, already feeling her eyelids drop. "You do a good job, now. Impress the master with your cooking, sweet one."

Kili watches his mother fall asleep worry etched across his face, he let out a sigh then changed into his only other set of clothes which had huge holes in the shirt and stains on the bottom but at least they were dry he walked back to his mother one more time and kissed her forehead then left the shack and runs back to the house.

Six o'clock came and kili nervously makes his way to the masters study all sorts of thoughts are going through his head what if the master doesn't like it or he has over cooked it?. He taps lightly on the door trying to keep calm. 

“Yes,” comes the short response from within.

Kili nervously opens the door " sir dinner is ready would you like me to serve it up in the dining room? " He asks feeling a little sick with worry but trying to sound confident. 

Thorin pushes the paperwork on his desk a little away and closes one of the thick leather bound books that he has been referencing. “I suppose I should.” He rises to his feet and walks up to Kili. “Well? What are you waiting for, boy?”

" yes Mr Oakenshield" Kili rushes ahead to the dining room and begins to plate up the masters dinner not wanting to anger him further.

Thorin takes his place at the head of the table. It is habit, even though he has spent the last ten years dining alone. Often he has his meal in his study, partly because it is convenient and it means he can continue working, but also because it means he does not have to look at the empty spaces around him. But tonight he needs a break. He is at an impasse with his casework and he hopes that if he takes half an hour out some inspiration might come to him.

He looks up as the youth walks in, carrying the plate with such utmost concentration that it almost makes him laugh.

Kili looks at Mr Oakenshield he is almost to scared to breath and carefully puts the plate in front of him taking a big sigh of relief when it is out of his hands " I hope you enjoy it sir" he says calmly daring to smile at him hoping he would not live to regret it. 

“Provided you have not poisoned me I am sure it will be fine,” Thorin grumbles in a failed attempt to make a joke. He looks at the plate placed in front of him. “This looks very good,” he compliments the dish of roast chicken with winter vegetables and potatoes. It smells good too, he actually feels his appetite stir. He picks up his knife and fork and tucks into the dish.

Kili let's out a relieved sigh when the master begins to eat without commenting. he thinks it means he has done a job and he begins to relax and lets his mind waver back to his mother. He looks at Mr Oakenshield and wonders if he would be able to help his mother he opens his mouth to ask for his advice then closes it again . No he cannot tell the master about his mother it could risk her job he thinks miserably that there is nothing he can to help here, then he suddenly has an idea " master Oakenshield if my cooking is acceptable would it be okay if I cooked for you from now on? " He asks shyly. 

Thorin looks up, startled. He had not even noticed that the boy is still here, having expected him to just leave him to it like Dis does, rather than watch him eat! He feels rather self conscious now and he puts down his cutlery. “Do you like to cook?” he asks the youth.

"Yes sir" he answers truthfully. He did enjoy cooking a lot it was something he didn't have to think about it came naturally to him and he could cook almost anything.

Thorin shrugs. “When I am here you can cook for me if you want. But I am not paying you any more than the three shilling we agreed. I already pay your mother for undertaking those duties. It is up to you how you divide them between yourselves.”

Kili smiles " that's okay sir I don't expect anymore pay " Kili replies. He is just happy to take some of the pressure off his mother.He thinks to his tin and knows he has no choice but to make another trip into town to raid the rich men of their funds, he knows his mother needs proper medical care and he will do whatever it takes he vows " thank you" he adds looking at his master.

“Is there anything else?” Thorin asks coolly as he starts to get agitated by the boy’s presence. He just wants to have a quiet meal and then return to his study and this hovering that the youth is doing is making him uncomfortable.

Kili swallows " yes sir would you like me to serve up your dessert and leave It on the table or bring it up in a while?" He stumbles sensing Mr Oakenshield is getting angry again. 

Thorin raises an eyebrow, not having expected a treat. He had not asked for dessert and it was not like he and the boy had got off on such a good foot that he thought the youth would make such an effort. “Ehm, bring it up in a while, please,” he mumbles, focusing his attention on his main meal again, suddenly very aware of the skinny badly dressed boy watching him. And although the food is absolutely lovely - possibly even better than Dis’ cooking - he has lost his appetite.

" yes sir " he utters he feels his stomach growl and realises he hasn't eaten today he remembers the apple in his coat pocket which Is back in the wooden shack. Oh well it will have to wait he thinks to himself and hurriedly exits the room thinking of his mother's tasks yet to complete. 

By the time the boy knocks on the door to his study he is so engrossed in his work again that he had almost forgotten the youth’s promise to bring him dessert. He feels a little put out by the interruption, but calls for him to enter nonetheless.

" sir I have brought you your afters I hope you like stuffed baked apples" he says with a smile, why am I trying to be nice to this man he thinks to himself and puts the pudding on the desk and turns to leave. 

“Stop,” Thorin calls out to the lad as he breathes in the sweet smell of the warm apple. “Come here.”

Kili cannot help let out a sigh wondering what he has done wrong this time and turns around and walks back to the desk " is there something amiss with the pudding sir?" He asks feeling himself getting irritated.

“Have you eaten, boy?” Thorin asks.

Kili feels himself flush red with embarrassment if truth be told he hadn't eaten since the apple from yesterday he shakes his head avoiding the man's eyes.

Thorin gets to his feet and walks up to the tall youth. “You need to eat. You are no use to me all skin and bones, boy.”

Kili can feel himself snap " my name is Kili not boy" he thunders , he looks at the well dressed man's face and then remembers his place " Sorry sir I didn't mean that" he apologises fearful of the man and begins to back away from the desk. 

Thorin stares at the young lad, stunned at the unexpected outburst. Then a grin spreads across his face, which quickly turns into a deep rumbling laugh that rolls through the room like a thunderstorm.

Kili is shocked at the unexpected laughter and feels himself tense.he had never heard the man laugh before and it puts him on edge. He stands quietly as the master continues to laugh unsure what to do and shifting his feet nervously. 

“You have character, Kili,” Thorin says, making a point of pronouncing the lad’s name. “You are incredibly rude and you do not seem to have the faintest familiarity with appropriate decorum. But you sure have spirit.” He looks at the youth closely, who is backing away, clearly eyeing the nearest exit. And he turns serious again. “You must eat though. If you are to work for me I need you healthy and strong. You cook for me and then you cook for mister Balin, your ma and yourself. Am I understood?”

Kili smiles at the thought of being able to get a decent meal down his mother's throat, more than just bread and broth " yes master Oakenshield" he answers looking up at his serious face. 

The older man looks the dirty youth up and down. “Are those your only clothes?” It is hardly an appetising picture now he looks more closely at the lad. The clothes he is wearing are old, torn and dirty looking and not at all what he would like the person preparing his food to be wearing. Besides they look at least three sizes too big for the youngster. 

The young lad looks down at his clothes and can't help get a little defensive sure they are ripped but It's the best he can do.he doesn't have the privilege of class and is unable to go out and buy new clothes all the time he doesn't speak any of this just nods at the well dressed man in his well tailored suit. 

“Stay here,” Thorin orders the youngster and he disappears to his private chambers across the hall. When he returns a few minutes later he is pleased that the boy has obeyed him and is patiently waiting for him by the window. “Here,” he says, holding out small stack of clothes to him. They are some old shirts and an out of fashion pair of slacks. “They might be a bit big for you …” he tries to assess the frame underneath the bulky worn clothes. 

Kili jolts in surprise he had been in a world of his own looking out at the grounds, he looks to the master and sees the clothes and gives him a little smile " thank you sir" he says and gratefully accepts the clothing.

“You are to wear your own clothes when you are working outside. You can wear these when you are serving me."

" yes sir" he replies looking through the small pile of clothing with excitement when he realises there is not a single rip in any of the clothing.

Thorin walks back to his seat, satisfied that at least his new employee will soon look less like a street rat and more like the servant of a gentleman should. He pulls the plate with the baked apple towards him and sticks the dessert fork into the sweet treat.

Kili starts to unbutton his shirt knowing it's only a matter of time before he is ordered to do so. He decides to save him the bother and pulls off his shirt and reaches for the shirt on top of the pile which is navy blue and slips it on it is a little loose but at least it is not broken he thinks to himself. 

Thorin looks at the young man in shock that he'd just stripped off his top off front of him. Has the lad no concept of decency at all?! "Good Lord, "he mumbles to himself as he can feel himself flush. But what had equally shocked him as well as the inappropriate action is the brief glimpse he'd caught of the lad's torso. He really is little more than a bag of bones. Far too skinny for a fifteen year old. "you really need to eat, " he repeats his earlier instructions as he tries to look at anything but the youth.

" I do eat sir " he lies not wanting his mother to come across in a bad light." I'm just naturally thin" he says feeling himself relax a little " but strong" he reassures the master. 

"Alright, off you go then, " Thorin urges the lad to leave him in peace. He watches him move towards the door with the small pile of clothes under his arm from the corner of his eyes. "And Kili," he says just as the boy pushes down the door handle.

Kili slowly turns around and looks at his master "yes Mr Oakenshield?" He responds nervously looking into his cool grey eyes.

"This is very nice, " he points his fork at the dessert and gives the boy a brief smile. 

Kili is startled at not only the praise but at the smile. He feels a massive grin spread across his face " I'm glad you like it sir" he smiles and turns exiting the room with a bounce to his step.


	5. Thief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kili, Mr Nesbitt & Balin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by LadyLuna

Kili sets out towards the town with one goal, to get his mother some medicine, her cough had got more persistent over the past few week and now there was blood also. His face etched with worry every time she gasped for breath, and he had spent most of his evenings looking after her. He knew she needed a doctor but they could not afford one.

He thinks about how things have been at the estate. The master had been gone four weeks, and Kili found himself missing the daily visits to the man. Sure he wasn't exactly polite to him, but he had got a little less nasty before he had gone, and at least called him by his name now.

It was fairly quiet when he got into town as it was still early in the day and there was no market on. The weather had a bitter chill to it as winter crept in. Kili had his old shirt under one of Mr Oakenshield’s shirts. He found he liked wearing the shirts; it made him feel less like a scruffy boy and more like an adult.

He stops outside the shop and glances through the window. Mr Nesbitt is behind the desk smiling as he serves a customer. Guilt eats away at him. Mr Nesbitt had always been so kind to him. But he had no choice; all his savings and wages had gone on medicine for his mother. She was needing more and more by the day and had grown weak.

He waits and watches until the customer has been served and walks into the shop trying to look confident.

"Good morning, young Kili, what can I do for you today?" Mr Nesbitt asks smiling friendly .

He forces himself to smile. "Hello Mr Nesbitt. My master has arranged for a parcel to be picked up, I was wondering if it is ready," he asks trying to sound and look innocent.

"I shall go and check the stockroom to see  if we have any items on order for him," the pharmacist says and leaves the room. Kili looks around the room and hurries  over to the display shelf and frowns when he sees there is none of the stuff Mr Nesbitt usually suggests and slowly reaches for the bottle beside it, and curiously inspects the bottle.

He has no idea what he is looking for it looks the same just has a different colour label.

He bites his lip unsure what to do he knows he has a matter of minutes to decide while Mr Nesbitt looks for an order that does not exist.

He decides to risk it and hurriedly puts two bottles in his pockets, and begins to scan the shelves for anything else that may help his mother. His eyes fall to some smelling salts and he pockets them too his eyes return back to the medicine.

He swallows and decides to take two more bottles the more he takes now the longer it will be before he has to do this again he thinks to himself and hurriedly stuffs two more into his coat.

He hears the man's footsteps get close and returns to his original positioning.

“No nothing for him today Kili," he smiles and looks toward the shelf the medicine Kili has just taken was on.

Kili can feel his cheeks burning and knows he needs to exit before he gives himself away.He turns around and hurries to the door. Suddenly he can feel his pockets give way and all the contents smashed onto the wooden floor. Kili heart sinks. He thinks of the look of disappointment on his mother's face when she is told and feels close to tears.

A tight grip on his shoulder stops him from  running off. He looks into the Irish man's face and can see the disappointment on it. His heart begins to quicken and his breath begins to hitch. He makes a snap decision and slips himself out of the coat and runs as fast as his legs will take him out of the tiny shop.

Stop that boy!" the Irishman hollers chucking the coat on the ground and running out of his shop after the skinny brunet. He looks left and right then spots him running around a corner.

Almost immediately Kili can hear feet chasing him along the cobbles and he is glad he now had shoes because he can pick up more speed. Kili is fast. He can hear the commotion he is leaving in his wake as he ducks and dives objects and people, occasionally knocking into someone and knocking them off their feet. He is thankful it is quiet as he has less to avoid.

The Irishman carries on running. Other join in the chase trying to catch the thief. They run across the square. The boy does not seem to know where he is heading and keeps changing directions.

Kili can hear footsteps getting nearer and increases his speed. When he rounds a corner he loses his footing. He tries to regain his balance and stumbles, landing on the floor. He tries to get up to make another dash for it, but the Irishman is has already caught up with him and grips his arm tightly.

"Give it up lad, there's nowhere to run," the Irishman says sternly but not unkindly. He pulls the dirty youth to his feet  then turns to the crowd that had gathered. "It is over now folks, nothing to see here.” And he pulls the lad through the crowd towards Erebor manor.

“Please don't tell my ma, please sir. she's ill enough already." he begs as they near the manor. He feels a tear roll down his face.

"This is the third time that you have stolen from me. The first two times I didn't say anything and let it slide, but I cannot do it again" Mr Nesbitt snarls as the manor comes in sight. He looks down at the boy’s tear stained face, then softened a little. " I will not tell your mother, but Mr Oakenshield is one of my wealthiest clients, he has a right to know and I will be writing him a letter," he finishes, staring at the boys eyes as they widen with fear. He did not blame the boy; Mr Oakenshield was a terrifying man which no one liked to cross.

He walks up to the main door which is opened by Balin.

He takes one look at Mr Nesbitt's face then rounds on the boy. “What have you done?" he asks grabbing hold of Kili's arm.

“I caught him stealing, Mr Balin. I'd like a word with Mr Oakenshield if I may," he says politely to the old man.

"He's back in London, sir," he replies grabbing hold of Kili’s other arm.

"Then I shall need some parchment, a quill and some ink," he states calmly.

Kili gulps and the feeling of dread and fear creeps over his body of how the master will react and he is slowly dragged into the house.

***

For the next five days Mr Balin does not let Kili out of the manor grounds. Yet on the day that Mr Oakenshield is due to return Kili was nowhere to be seen. Balin sighs, suspecting the youngster is hiding in one of the outbuildings.

Balin travels to the station to await Mr Oakenshield arrival. He spots his master straight away and hurries to open the coach door for him and takes his luggage in his free hand  " Good afternoon Mr Oakenshield how was your journey" he inquires politely.

Thorin nods to his old servant. “Alright.” For once he is glad to be back here. The case, as expected, had not gone well at all and he is utterly shattered because of it. It was not his fault, the case was weak and the idiot Mr Davis shouting out in court that his wife had been a dirty whore who had deserved what she got had really not helped convince the jury of his innocence. Nonetheless it is a blemish on his successful record and he is not pleased.

Before Balin shuts the door, he looks at the older man’s frown. “Is everything alright back at the manor?” he enquires, sensing that something is the matter.

Balin reaches into his pocket and hands Mr Oakenshield the letter " There was an incident with young Kili, sir" he tells him knowing it is best to get it over and done with.

A dark frown slides over Thorin’s features as he accepts the letter, recognising Mr Nesbitt’s neat handwriting. Balin shuts the door and moments later the coach begins the move. Reluctantly he breaks the seal and unfolds the piece of parchment. And as he reads the accusation of theft he can feel the anger boil up inside him. He had taken the boy on in good faith. Sure he was rough around the edges, but he had not expected the lad to be dishonest. And now he had soiled his good name and made him look like a fool in front of the whole town. A master who could not control his servants. As the coach jerks over the little bridge he realises he has scrunched the letter up in his fists and his knuckles have turned white.

Balin pulls the carriage to a halt " good girl Jayne he speaks softly as the horse moves her head he hurries to open the door as he does he can see the master is furious his pupils had got dark and his fists are balled. He opens the door wide for the master.

“Bring him to my study, now!” Thorin growls low to his old trusted servant. And he walks with big angry strides towards the front door of the manor, not even waiting for Balin to hold open the door for him as he slams it open wide and storms up the stairs. He knows he needs to get himself under control before the boy is brought to him and he paces the room up and down, drawing deep breaths into his lungs as he tries to calm himself down a little.

Balin finds the boy in a corner of Jayne’s stable curled up in a ball trying to make himself as small as possible. Kili visibly jumps as the door opens. "It’s time, lad, the master wants to see you, so you’d best stand up wipe of those clothes and come with me," the old man orders and helps the boy to his feet.

“How angry is he, Mr Balin?" Kili asks with a shaky voice.

Balin looks at the boy and pities him. He knows the boy will be lucky if he is not been sent off to a workhouse after this. "Come on boy, let's get moving," he says kindly and grabs hold of the boys arm.

They walk in silence. Kili is shaking more the closer they get to the office. Once they are standing outside the study Balin reaches forward and knocks the door.

“Enter,” Mr Oakenshield’s booming voice comes from within.

Kili tries to pull away but the old man just grabs tighter and ends up dragging him into the room, kili instantly looks at the floor moving his hair to cover his face from view.

“Thank you, Balin,” Mr Oakenshield states, without looking at either of them. Although even with his back turned, Balin can see the hardness set in his muscles indicating he has lost none of his rage. “Leave us now.”

"Yes sir," he says politely and whispers in the young man's ear, "Don't go thinking about running lad. It will make it worse." And he hastily leaves the room closing the door behind him.

Kili can hear the anger in the master’s voice. Fear flows through his body, he wants to jolt and run but he knows it will make matters so much worse, the silence is painful he can feel the rage coming off the older man, his voice was deeper and more menacing. He held his breath waiting.

Thorin slams his hand down on the desk, on top of the crumpled letter, making the lad jump in fright. “Explain yourself,” he says, biting back the urge to shout, still not turning around to look at the youth.

Kili remains quiet. He just looks at the floor he is afraid to say anything and fears get his mother or himself in more trouble a silent tear rolls down his face and drops  onto the wooden floor.

When no reply is forthcoming, Thorin slowly turns himself around, taking in the picture of the scruffy youngster shaking like a frightened rabbit in the middle of his room. “You have nothing to say for yourself?” he growls in a menacing tone. When he gets no reaction,he raises his voice to full volume and bellows at the lad, “You will look at me when I speak to you, boy!”

The brunet jumps at the masters bellow he knows he should just answer him and he should look at him but he can't bring himself to look into the stormy grey eyes he looks through his hair and can see the masters thunderous look and flinches.

Thorin reaches out and grabs the boy’s chin in his large hand, forcing him to look up. “You insolent, wretched child!” he growls, bringing his face close to the boy’s wide scared eyes. “I bring you into my home. I give you a job. I give you clothes and I buy you shoes. And this is how you repay me?!” Little flecks of spittle fall onto Kili’s face as Thorin’s contorts with rage. “You betrayed any trust I placed in you,” he continues to rant in the youth’s face. He let’s go of his chin and grabs him hard by the shoulders. “You stole from Mr Nesbitt! You have tainted my good name! Now what say you?!” he bellows again, pushing the lad backwards.

Kili loses his footing and only just manages to stay standing he looks at the door wondering how far he can get before Mr Oakenshield gets hold of him,he realises it's no use and knows he has to say something I'm so sorry ma he thinks to himself knowing he's probably about to lose them their home "It’s my ma, sir," he utters in a whisper, he wishes he could stop shaking but he can't he tries to look the master in the eyes but is fearful and returns his gaze to the floor.

“What about your ma?” Thorin asks in a restrained voice.

“She's real sick, I.. i think she's dying" he sobs unable to hold back his tears anymore, it is the first time he has said it out loud and he can feel himself falling apart and begins to sob louder.

Thorin looks at the sobbing youngster, feeling slightly taking aback at the sudden emotional outburst. “Dis?” he says a little more calmly. When he had left the estate over a month ago now he had noticed that his housekeeper looked tired and she had a cough about her. But since she had carried on working he had thought it to be just cold. Whatever the situation it was no reason for Kili to have done what he had done, but this confession had rather turned conversation on its head. “What ails her?” he asks, trying to sound a little more caring so that the boy will confide in him. Dis is his servant, his responsibility, and her wellbeing is as much his concern as it is Kili’s.

Kili looks through his hair at the master and can see he has calmed a little “She… she has this cough and there's blood, I don't know what to do, I know she needs a doctor but can't afford one and she is using so much medicine." He can feel himself shuddering with a mixture of fear and sadness, he feels like everything is spiralling out of control.

Thorin sighs and rubs a hand across his face. “Why did you not tell me before?” He is battling with his emotions. The punishment for theft by a servant was quite straightforward and he had been ready to show the boy the back of his hand and then the door. He could not be seen to let such an act that had been brought to his attention go unpunished, even it had been out of desperation rather than greed. He should still sack the boy and send him away without a reference. “Damn it, Kili, why did you not tell me?!” he shouts this time, turning his back again as he walks up to the window, staring out over the grounds, towards where the outbuildings are, just outside of his view.

"I.. I was afraid you would sack my ma and we would be left without a home, we both need these jobs sir, we have no other family apart from each other, no-one to turn to" he cries looking at Mr Oakenshield " please sir I can't lose this job" he begs hoping he would understand.

Thorin remains silent for a long time. They are just servants. Disposable goods if they turn out to be faulty. The boy has brought him into disrepute with the good people in town. Yet somehow this young boy has a hold on him. His fiery character and the way his cares for his mother shows a rough humanity that he sees so rarely in the city, where everyone holds up a facade of decency painted over the cracks of their decadent sins.

The boy behind him has gone so silent now that he wonders if he is even still there. But when he turns around he finds Kili looking back at him, although the youngster quickly diverts his gaze again when his eyes fall on him. “Go and find mister Balin and tell him to go to town to Doctor Oin’s house. Bring him back here to go see your ma. You come back here immediately afterwards. I will not sack you yet, although I must be a fool for it! But this will not go unpunished, boy. You will face up to the consequences of your behaviour.”

Kili swallows and then nods knowing that Mr Oakenshield has been lenient with him. He wipes his face then turns to leave "Thank you," he says looking back at the master then hurries out the room.

Thorin watches the door fall closed behind the boy and he walks back to his desk, picking up the letter from Mr Nesbitt. Has he lost his mind? Why is he letting a teenage thief stay in his household? What is it about the boy that is making him make such irrational decisions? He wrings his hands, before he turns to the tall cupboard in the corner of his room, which holds his official robes and barrister’s wig. He pushes aside the well-tailored uniforms and grabs the thin wooden rod from the back of the cupboard. It has been a long while since he last had to deal out such punishment to any of his servants, but it is a skill he has not forgotten.

Kili nervously walks back up the stairs, the master had spoken of punishment,  he felt sick at the thought of the unknown but knew he would face it without complaint, his mother's life may well depend on it. He knew Mr Oakenshield was being generous ordering a doctor for his ma and he gently knocks the door.

"Enter," Thorin calls sternly, turning towards the door. He holds his hands behind his back, as he allows the boy to enter his room.

Kili enters nervously and walks in to the centre of the room he wants to avert his eyes but forces himself to look at the master. Whatever his punishment is he vows to except it bravely, for the sake of his mother he will take it like a man.

“You have greatly disappointed me, boy,” Thorin states as he looks hard at him. “I hope you understand how merciful I am being here.”

“I do sir and I thank you for it, I know what I did was wrong sir and knew it was when I did it I will face whatever punishment you deem fit sir and will not complain" Kili utters bravely in truth he is more scared than he has ever been, scared that he may lose his mother but also scared of the master and his anger.

Thorin nods in acknowledgement to the boy. “Place your hands on the desk.” He states coolly.

Kili does as the master has asked his hands are shaking and he feels fearful part of him wants to run as far away as he could be he has to do this.

“Do not think about pulling your hands away, boy,” Thorin states as he shows Kili the cane he is about to use on him. “If you do you will receive two more lashes in return. This is for stealing from Mr Nesbitt. Now hold still.”

The brunets eyes widen in horror at the sight of the wooden cane, he had never been beaten before, but Ori had and said it hurts like the devil he nodded in understanding and braced himself for the sting of the cane.

Thorin slowly raises his arm and brings the cane down across the boy’s fingers, leaving an immediate bright red streak to run across all digits.

Kili wanted to scream out at the pain in his hands, he felt a sob rise in his throat and forced it back down, he thought of his ma and knew he had to take it so remained silent biting his tongue to stop the cries.

The second blow follows quickly, drawing a thin line of blood as the cane tears at the thin flesh across the boy’s fingers. “I will make an honest boy of you yet,” Thorin growls, as he prepares to lower the cane onto the throbbing hands once more.

Kili pulls his hands away he can't help it and instantly regrets it and puts his hands back where they had been the blood was oozing from the cut hands " Sorry sir" he apologises holding back tears.

“You have contempt for me, boy?” Thorin raises his voice, his anger returning as the youth pulls his hands away. “You choose to disobey me?!”

“I didn't mean to, I'm sorry it was gut instinct," he proclaims and regrets arguing with him he stares at the cold eyes and can see nothing but anger in his eyes.

“You wretched boy,” Thorin shouts at him. “Lower your trousers. Now! I will show you who you are to obey here!”

Kili flinches at these words but does as he is told avoiding the master's gaze, his hands are throbbing and blood is running down his wrist. He wants disobey the man but dares not too for fear of what he would be asked to do next.

Thorin watches the youth as he pulls down his trousers and pants, revealing the soft pink buttocks. He takes a deep breath, feeling a sudden flush of heat pulse through him. But he pushes it away immediately, getting a grip on himself. Without warning he brings the thin wooden cane down on the lad’s buttocks.

Kili can't help but cry out loud at the fire In his buttocks. His body jolts forward he grips the edge of the table to steady himself he bites his lip to stop himself from screaming and can taste the metallic taste of blood as he bites.

“Will you obey me, boy?!” Thorin snarls as he brings the cane down for a second time, the sound of wood on flesh resonating through the room.

This time he lets out a piercing scream "yes, yes I'm sorry"  he sobs and tries to pull away "Please, sir, I'm sorry," he can feel he has cut his lip badly where he has been biting down he reaches for his trousers to pull them up but thinks better of it and returns to the position with his hands back on the desk.

Thorin takes two long strides forward and in one swift movement grabs the boy’s long hair and pulls his head back. He is seething with rage at the ongoing disobedience of the youngster. “Will you have me tie you down?” he growls in the lad’s face. “If you move one more time I will walk down those stairs and bring the whip down on you! Now will you hold still?!” he bellows.

The brunet can feel tears rolling down his face. The thought of the whip terrifies him he can feel the hair being pulled out from the route as he has a tight grip " yes sir I behave sir" he cries looking into the gentleman's eyes and wonders if anyone had ever done this to him before, he thinks it unlikely as he had always had everything provided and never had to sink to the lengths he had gone for anyone. He could feel his blood boil with anger at the gentleman but reminded himself this was for his mother so forced himself to hold his tongue.

Thorin steps back and pulls his arm back as he brings the cane down on the already bright red and open flesh again. “Will you repent for your sins, boy?! Thou shalt not steal!”

"Yes sir" he calls out as the cane comes down and he can feel the sting on his already sore backside. His breath was hitched and he was struggling to get air into his lungs.

Sweat runs down his back as he raises the cane one last time. The swoosh of the wood rings through the air as he brings it down with force, making the youngster scream out as the wood lands on his backside. He throws the blooded piece of wood in the corner, images of his father given him such a treatment on many occasions flashing before his eyes. “Now be gone,” he pants, turning away from the boy standing shivering and bleeding in front of him. “Go to your ma and wait there for doctor Oin.”

Kili weakly begins to pull up his trousers and underclothes, he cannot help but sob he looks once more at the master and can feel nothing but hatred for the rich nasty bully of a man who is heartless and cruel and leaves as quick as injuries will allow him. He knows he needs to be strong for his mother and wipes his face clean with his sleeve and slowly makes his way down the stairs.


	6. Dis' fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thorin, Oin and Dis written by LadyLuna  
> Kili written by witchesdelite

Thorin is seated in one of the comfortable plush chairs by the fireplace, reading the journal he'd brought back from London. But the words barely sink in as he waits to hear the verdict from Dr Oin.

The wolfhounds lying at his feet stir before he can hear the door open.

“Sir, doctor Oin is here to see you,” Balin bows low to him before he makes way for the guest.

His hounds eye the older gentleman with suspicion as he shuffles forward into the lounge but they obey their master as he orders them to stay put, before rising up from his chair to greet the doctor. The white-haired man leans so heavily on his cane as he draws in laboured breaths, that Thorin wonders at the state of health of the old doctor himself.

“Doctor Oin,” he nods as he holds out his hand. “Thank you for coming to see my housekeeper so quickly.”

The aging man shakes his hand reverently before he takes a seat in the appointed chair.

“It is Consumption, sir,” the doctor gets straight to the point.

Thorin draws in a deep breath as he seats himself back down again. He is all too familiar with the effects of the white plague that ravaged whole neighbourhoods in the capital.

“There is nothing I can do for her here, sir. The disease has eaten away at her. You may send her to a sanatorium in the City, sir, but it will only be to contain the spread.”

Thorin nods solemnly as he digests the information. “Thank you, doctor,” he says. “Does the boy know?”

“Aye, sir. He may not fully understand the condition, but he understands his mother is dying.”

“Where is he now?”

“He ran out when I gave the diagnosis, sir.”

Thorin bends himself down to absentmindedly pet one of the dog’s head as he contemplates what to do next.

"I can give her something for the pain, sir, if you wish.”

“Please, doctor,“ Thorin gives his permission. The old man opens up his bag and begins to write out the prescription, leaving the document on the lounge table.

They both get to their feet and Thorin sees the older man to the door as Balin has gone back out in the yard.  
“Send for me if she gets worse,” Oin shakes hand with the younger gentleman.

“Thank you,” Thorin nods and he returns to the reception room, where he picks up the prescription. He knows it is only out of kindness to try and relieve Dis’ discomfort. If she has advanced pulmonary tuberculosis then her fate has been sealed and no matter how much money he has will not change that situation. He stares into the fireplace, wondering if there is anything he could have done before. Should he have sent for doctor Oin before he had left for London? Perhaps. But he had not known the situation had been this serious. He could not have known. Even so the diagnosis would have had to have been made very early on could anything have been done to turn the tide and it is likely that a month ago things would already have been too little too late. Well, there is no point about in hindsight in any case. He cannot change what has already come to pass. All he can do is try and make things as comfortable as possible for a dying woman.

Just then he a noise upstairs pulls him from his dark thoughts and the hounds jump up and begin to bark.  
***

Kili enters the old room and buries himself in the bed. His body aches all over, but none of that matters any more. He lets out a wail and begins to cry into the mattress. Everything he had endured was for nothing, his mother was dying and there was nothing he could do to save her. The pain is ripping him apart; the injustice of it all. His mother has always been a good god fearing women who would help anyone.

He looks at the candle on the bedside unit, picks it up and chucks it against a wall. All he can feel is hot rage. He starts to pick up objects and chuck them against walls and the door; all sane thoughts are lost in a fit of anger .

He wants to scream and shout at the top of his lungs. When the doctor had said about his mother’s fate he had wanted to cling on to her - the only person who had ever been there for him through thick and thin.

Thorin stands outside the door to one of the unused bedrooms, listening to the destruction going on inside, combined with the sobbing of the youngster. He hesitates, unsure what is best to do. He will not let the youth destroy his property, but at the same time he understands that the teenager has just been told the grim fate of his only kin. He takes a breath, and slowly opens the door to the bedroom, bracing himself for what he will find.

Kili notices the door open and chucks a vase missing the door by inches " leave me be" he screams before he can even see who it is opening the door, he looks at the face of Mr Oakenshield walking in the room " what do you want to beat me again I do not care" he rages looking into the older man's face.

Thorin looks at the destroyed expensive vase that nearly hit him and then he looks at the youth on the bed screaming abuse at him. “Kili,” he tries to calm him down, weighing up whether the try and approach the volatile youngster.

He looks at the face of his master and can feel nothing but hate " leave me alone" he hollers, picking up a pillow and ripping it apart. He walks over to the tall man " you did this! If she hadn't needed to work two jobs she would of never of got ill! This is all your fault!" he screams into the man's face not caring of the consequences of shouting.

Thorin looks at the youth, stunned at the accusation. It has been a very long time indeed since anyone dared raise their voice at him and he is rather taken aback by the the youngster’s anger directed at him. He grabs the boy hard by the shoulders, attempting to shake some sense into him. “Kili, you need to calm down,” he says sternly.

The sight of the pure pain in the boy’s deep brown eyes reaches something buried deep inside him. He knows he should be showing the lad his wrath for destroying his home and speaking to him with such little respect. But he cannot bring himself to do it. The youngster is grieving and grief does strange things to people. He knows that all too well himself. When his wife died he had refused to eat or speak for nearly two weeks and he had turned to taking his frustrations at the injustice of it all out on the furniture as much as the boy is doing now. Suddenly he feels a deep rooted instinct to offer the boy what little comfort he can give him.

Kili grabs Thorin’s shirt and starts beating against his chest " this is your fault my ma is dieing and it's all your fault" he screams wanting to cause the man as much pain as possible and carries on hitting. He stills and begins to sob into the man's shirt " not my ma please god not ma" he cries to the older man.

Thorin stares down at the youngster clinging to his shirt, tears streaming down his young face as his emotions flit between rage and anguish. He is unsure what to do, how he can make this situation any better - knowing that there is nothing. Tentatively, awkwardly he puts his arms around the boy, trying to offer him a parental kind of comfort. “It is okay, Kili,” he hushes. “It is okay to grieve.”

Kili can feel the arms around his shoulder and is drawn into the embrace. " But why her, I would rather it be me" he questions knowing the older man does not have the answers, he knows he should back away that it is not proper for him to be sobbing into the man he wants to hate but finds himself drawn in " what am I going to do?" he weeps.

“We will look after her,” he soothes the youngster. He is surprised to find the boy returning the embrace and he realises with shock how long it has been since he last felt the warmth of another pressed against him. He relaxes a little as the boy begins to calm and carefully runs a hand through the youth’s dirty hair. “Doctor Oin has given a prescription to make her feel more comfortable.” As he feels Kili cling even closer to him in his desperation, he adds, “And we can move her into one of the empty bedrooms inside the house.”

" It's her birthday next I was going to make the day special for make a cake and cook her dinner guess I'm not going to get the chance " he admits and looks up into the gentleman's grey eyes with his watery ones.

Thorin looks at the boy’s face, streaked with tears and feels sorry for him. “Just sit down, lad,” he tries, feeling distinctly uncomfortable under the intimate situation and he coaxes him towards the chair in the corner. “Don’t worry about anything but your ma’s care for now. We’ll just make her comfortable, okay?” He feels a momentary pang of guilt as Kili refuses to sit down when he realises it is because of the beating he had given him. “Alright lad,” he changes his mind, “why don’t we go to prepare the room and then we can bring your ma up here?”

Kili nods and follows the master who leads him to plain room, with nothing but a bed and few candles, he walks over to the bed and begins to pull the sheets back so his ma can just get in straight away. All his body aches from the beating and he realises what he had admitted to the master and swallows. He looks over at Mr Oakenshield and wonders why he is being so nice, when he had caused him nothing but grief.

“Alright Kili, let us go and see your ma then,” Thorin says, guiding the boy back out of the room and down the stairs. They walk in silence across the yard and towards the outbuildings.

Kili wants to say something, anything to break the awkwardness between them, but doesn't know what to say, as they get to the door kili pushes it open and rushes over to his mother's side as quick as his injuries would let him " Ma how are you feeling?" He asks forcing himself to smile at her.

“Kili?” Dis croaks as she opens her eyes, blinking against the daylight streaming in through the door. “Is that the doctor again?”

" No ma just me and master Oakenshield, we're going to take you up to the big house ma" he reassures her running his fingers through her hair.

“M...Mr Oakenshield?” Dis flushes, feeling embarrassed at the thought that her master will see her in this state.

Thorin looks around the accommodation. He had expected the little house to be bare, but he is shocked the find the state of dilapidation it is in. It is freezing cold inside and the wind howls through the cracks around the broken wood. He wonders why there is no fire burning in the hearth, but realises with regret that they probably preserve such a luxury for the evenings, when the temperature falls even further and they will use the fire for cooking as much as keeping warm. He sighs as he looks at the frail woman lying on the bed, hidden under a pile of ripped blankets.

" yes ma, Mr Oakenshield he has been kind enough to let you stay in the manor, there's a nice warm room waiting for you and fresh blankets, we're going to take care of you" he says forcing his voice to stay even he can feel tears prick the corner of his eyes but wipes them away angrily he will not show how scared he is.

Thorin puts a kerchief in front of his face as he walks further inside the small living space. The smell of disease hangs heavy in the air and he knows how contagious the condition is. For a moment he regrets his decision to offer the woman a room in his manor. But he looks at Kili, seeing the devastation across his face as he tries to be brave, and he knows he has made a promise to the young boy. He may be many things, but he is a man of honour and he will not break his promise.

“Mr … Oakenshield,” Dis whispers then another coughing fit takes her.

“Ma it's ok breath" kili utters and grabs for the smelling salts and puts it under her nose " its ok ma, I'm here and will stay with you" he promises holding her hand.

“Sir …, you should not see me like this,” Dis utters as she momentary has control of her breath again. “The doctor …” she takes a deep breath, clutching her chest. “he gave me some medicine. I … I will work hard when I am better.”

Thorin throws Kili a concerned look, wondering if Dis is just trying to be strong for her boy or whether she really does not realise that she is lying on her death bed. “Hush, woman. You must preserve your breath,” he says. “I will take you to the house so that you can regain your strength.” He puts the kerchief back in his pocket, and tries hard not to breath through his nose as he carefully slides his large hands under the frail figure on the bed. He is amazed at how little the adult woman weighs. Barely more than a young child would. He can understand why the disease is commonly known as ‘consumption’ now as there is hardly anything left of the once strong woman. He carefully turns himself around, nodding to Kili that he is to follow him, as he slowly walks to the door. He is relieved to breath in the fresh outdoor air as he carries the patient towards the manor.

" don't worry ma I'll work for the medicine you just rest" he vows as the walk across the grounds towards the house " I'll do both our duties" he utters and whispers soothing words to her as the enter the room, he walks over to the fire place and kneels down with a hiss at the discomfort on his buttocks and starts build a fire with his sore hands ignoring the pain in them.

Thorin lays Dis carefully on the bed, pulling the blankets over his thin frame.

“Master,” she sighs, feeling so embarrassed to be carried around like a child by her boss, but equally so grateful for his kindness. “Th… thank you. You are … so kind.”

“Sleep now, woman,” he says kindly. Then he turns to the boy. “I will get Balin to get the medicine for your ma. I will leave you now. Call me …” he looks at Dis’ face which is white as a sheet, “... call me if anything changes. You can stay in the room next door.”

" thank you for your kindness sir , but I will sleep in our shack" kili says stubbornly looking the master in the eyes. He knows it is only a matter of time before the master sends him away after his ma dies and knows he needs to get used to being on his own, the thought terrifies him as she has always looked after him but it is the way it is and he does not want to pretend he will have a home here after his mother is gone.

Thorin frowns. “Don’t be a fool. It is warm here. You too need your strength. And your ma needs you here to look after her.” Someone needs to. And although he has promised to offer Dis a warm and comfortable room, he will not be nursing a woman dying of the white plague. Kili will be lucky if he has not already caught the disease himself, but if he hasn’t he may have some inbuilt immunity to it. Anyhow, it is the boy’s duty to care for his mother.

Kili looks at his ma and back to the master and nods " but only as long as my ma needs me" he says and slowly reaches for the matches and starts the fire, he gets up from the ground slowly and turns to face his mother" are you comfortable? Is there anything I can do for you?" He asks taking her hand again and stroking the back of it.

Dis looks at her son’s kind face and she can see the anxiety in his deep brown eyes. She had tried to stay strong for him. But as she sees the fear flit across his face she realises that he must know. “Kili …” she begins, but her courage fails her. “I am fine,” she whispers. “Thank you.” And she closes her eyes as she drifts off to sleep in the warm soft bed.

The brunet looks at his mother's resting face and can't help but smile as he thinks of the many times she had watched him sleep as a child he pulls the blankets up higher over her shoulders and stands up and turns to face the well dressed man who seemed to be keeping a wary distance " I mean what I said I will repay you back for my mother's care sir" he vows meeting the man's grey eyes.

Thorin cannot help but smile at the boy’s promise. He looks the scruffy teenager up and down, thinking that the boy will not in his lifetime earn enough money to pay him back for the expensive medication. But the determination in the boy’s eyes is admirable. “You can start by not getting into any more trouble,” he smirks as he turns his back and leaves the room.

Kili lets out a sigh and looks at his mother he walks over to her bed and leans down and kisses her forehead then turns and leaves to continue with his tasks.

By the time nightfall arrives he is shattered he crawls into bed late evening and can feel the effects of the day. He feels both physically and mentally drained as if he had been through a washer and every last bit of emotion had been wrung from his aching body.

He checks on his mother one last time and is pleased to see her sound asleep in the warmth of her bed.

He gets under the blankets and can smell the clean fresh scent on the undamaged blanket and wrapped himself underneath it. His eyes begin to droop and he can feel sleep creep upon him.


	7. Dis' secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin and Dis written by LadyLuna

Kili wakes up to the sound of his mother gasping for breath as she coughs into the night.

He races into the room next door to find his mother sat up straight in the bed clutching her chest and gasping for breath, she has blood at the corner of her mouth and has sweat sticking to her brow.

He hurries over to the bed and grabs a damp face cloth "Ma, it's okay," Kili soothes  reassuring as his mother clutches his spare hand and he wipes away the sweat with the other, he looks at his mother's  fatigued appearance and his face etched with worry.

“K … Kili,” Dis utters breathlessly before another violent coughing fit takes her. She bends double under the strain on her emaciated body, almost unable to hold herself upright. She cups her mouth with her hands and as she pulls them away she can see the copper brown blood coating her fingers. “Kee … go … get master,” she gasps. She knows her time is near. Her body has become so weak. She will not be able to fight this much longer. “Please!” she urges her son, who hesitates to leave her side.

Kili takes one more look at her then sprints out of the room and down the hall to Mr Oakenshield’s room. He stops nervously in front of it and realises he had never seen the inside of the room. He reluctantly taps on the door hoping the master would not be in one of his foul moods. When he has no response panic takes over and he hammers on the door.

A few moments later the door opens a little. Thorin peers into the hallway, confused by the commotion that has awoken him from his deep sleep. But as soon as he sees the panic stricken boy standing outside his bedroom, realisation dawns on him.

" sir it's ma, she's been taken real bad and has asked for you" kili stated assessing the older man's mood, he seemed relatively calm if not a little confused, and silently begins making his way back towards the coughing Down the hall not even checking to see if the master is following.

Thorin quickly grabs his chamber coat and wraps it around and grabs his night candle as he chases after the teenager. He stops the boy with a hand on his shoulder, before he enters the bedroom again. “Kili,” he says softly, his voice deep with sleep although he now feels wide awake. He can hear Dis cough non-stop inside the room and is afraid at what he might find. “Stay here as I speak to her.”

Kili feels a little put out at this suggestion, how dare this man dictate to him that he can't see his own mother, he takes a step closer to the bedroom but stills and turns around to face the man " why sir" he questions looking into the gentleman's face.

Thorin considers the youngster, weighing up whether to tell him the truth - because I think she is dying. Because I do not know what I will find inside the room and I do not want you there. Because I do not know how you will react and I do not know how to deal with that. “Because she asked for me, boy. And I will speak to her in private.” He gently pushes the youngster to one side as he opens the door, pulling his handkerchief out and pressing it over his nose and mouth as he enters the room.

The brunet opens his mouth to argue then thinks better of it and slumps against the wall and sinks to the floor, cursing the unfairness of it all and scowls at the  man as he enters the room closing the door purposely behind him.

Thorin tries hard not to breath as the suffocating scent of imminent death hangs in the room. He blinks against the darkness, raising the candle up to throw some light onto the bed. Dis has gone still now. So still in fact that for a moment he worries he has come too late. He does not dare approach the bed any closer as he gazes at the pale form under the sheets. Her cheeks are hollow, her eyes sunk deep.

Suddenly the sick woman gasps and her eyes flick open. “Master?” she whispers hoarsely.

He takes a hesitant step forward, eyeing the dark stains on the bed linen. He wishes he could offer the woman comfort, but he knows that he is playing a dangerous enough game even just standing here. “I am here.”

He thinks he can see a smile on the woman’s face, but it is hard to tell .

“Kili?” she asks, looking at him without blinking.

“I have asked him to wait outside,” he speaks through the cloth of his kerchief. “He said you wanted to see me.”

Dis draws in another laboured breath. It is becoming more difficult now to get any air into her lungs. Each breath, which once came to her without having to even think about it, now requires the utmost effort and concentration. “Thank … you. I … Not long now.” A tear forms in the corner of her eye and drips onto the pillow.

“I am so sorry,” Thorin says softly, taking another step closer against his better judgement as he struggles to hear the woman’s whispered words. “If I could …”

“No,” Dis tries to smile. “You have … been kind.” She looks into the bright eyes of her employer, hesitating. She knows what she is about to ask him is inappropriate. This is not his problem and she does not expect him to accept. But she has to try. For her boy’s sake, she has to try. If she does not then he will be doomed to a workhouse. Or worse, to beg or sell himself on the streets to survive. “My boy … We have no-one, sir.” She flushes as she is about to reveal her shame to the gentleman. “His father … he was a good man like yourself, sir.” The determination to try and secure a future for her son is giving her the last bit of strength she needs to get the words out. “A man of good reputation. I brought him shame, led him astray - may God forgive me my sins. Please sir, my boy is not to blame.”

Thorin focuses intensely on the woman’s lips, trying to make out what she is telling him. So Kili is some gentleman’s bastard, he concludes.

“Please sir, would you take him to London with you? So that he can find his father? Mr McTavish might take pity on my boy. Perhaps give him work.”

He tries to hide his shock as she whispers the name. “Dwalin McTavish?” he utters in disbelief.

“Aye, sir,” Dis tries to hide her face in her hands as the shame threatens to take her. “Please sir, Kili … All I want is for him to have a chance. I do not want him to end up on the streets. He is a good boy, really, sir. I … I am so sorry to burden you … I understand if …”

“Hush, woman,” Thorin tries to sooth as he can see the woman is starting struggle more and more. “I will take care of him and take him to London.” He has made the promise before he truly realises what he has just committed himself to. He cannot believe Kili is McTavish’ son. He knows the man, not too very well, but he is a barrister too and he has faced off against him once in a case many years ago. They were both very young then, eager to prove themselves. And although he had admired the guy’s skill in court, on a personal level he had found him an arrogant prick who would play dirty if it got him the right result. He can hardly imagine the guy will welcome the result of him laying with the maid with open arms. But what else can he say to Dis? If that is her dying wish then he will have to try.

“Th… thank you, sir. Eternally grateful.” Her eyes fall closed and silence falls over the room. Thorin barely dares breath as he is unsure what to do next. At which point does he check whether she is asleep or whether she is even still alive? Just then her eyelids twitch. “Kili … Iove you …” she whispers, before drawing in one last deep breath. Thorin is surprised that he can almost see the life leave the the woman’s body as she falls completely still. He steps up a little closer and holds the candle so as to see if there is any breath there. But  when the flame remains still, he feels the sadness of the loss hit him. Dis had been from a different class and he did not really know her as a result. But nonetheless she had worked for him for a very long time.

He straightens himself up and walks over to the clock on dresser by the window, stilling the hand to note the time of death as is custom. He knows there is a whole lot of superstitious nonsense associated which such tradition, but he does not believe in such things. Although he does find himself picking up one of the throws that hangs over the back of the chair in the corner to drape over the dresser’s mirror. It is perhaps best not to invite ill fate into his home with the risk of disease already at hand.

He looks at the closed door. His heart feels heavy as he contemplates how he is going to break the news of Dis’ passing to the youngster. Still, there is no point delaying the inevitable and he is no stranger to delivering bad news - be it normally to adult criminals. He slowly opens the door, finding the boy sat on the floor, sunk against the wall.

Kili jumps to his feet " can I go in now sir?" He asks but doesn't wait for an answer and heads towards the door.

Thorin stops him with a palm against his chest.

Kili looks at the man and instantly knows something is amiss by his grave face " sir has she got worse? Shall I fetch the doctor?" He asks panic set in his voice.

Thorin braces himself for what is to follow. He does not know how to say this in any other way that will make it any better. “Kili, you mother said she loved you very much. I am afraid she has gone to Heaven.”

Kili stares blankly at the master, he doesn't want to believe him. He looks towards the bedroom door unsure if he wants to enter or not. He edges towards the room, "She can't be. I want to see her, to be with her," he states heading towards the door.

Thorin nods at the youngster. “You can see her, of course. But remember that …” he swallows his words of wisdom. What does he even care? The boy has lived with his mother in close proximity for months. If he has not got the disease by now perhaps he is one of the lucky ones. “Go and say goodbye. And then come and see me in the parlour afterwards.” He turns to make his way downstairs to give the boy a private moment to say goodbye.

The brunet slowly makes his way into the room. He looks at his mother's still form and begins to sob at his loss. He can feel the overwhelming feeling of loneliness creep in; he is well and truly alone. He can feel tears roll off his face and forces himself to walk nearer. The person lying on the bed is a shell of what his mother once was. She is all bones and the stillness of the lady in front of him is eerie. He expects her to sit up and tell him to stop crying as she usually did. But he knows this will never happen again and he begins to weep louder.

Kili leans into his mother and kisses her cheek. "Goodbye," he sobs and runs his fingers through her hair. He suddenly cannot look at his mother's shell anymore and turns and slowly makes his way down the stairs to meet Mr Oakenshield.

Thorin glances up from his seat in the parlour and takes in the grief stricken young man in the long night gown who appears in the doorway. And once again he is reminded of his own loss, how it has ripped apart his heart and soul and how he had felt there would never again be any joy in his life. Of course losing a parent was quite different to losing a wife and child. One expected to have to say goodbye to one’s elders at some point. On the other hand, the boy had just lost his only kin, the one person he had always relied upon. And he cannot help but feel for him as he now stands alone in the world. “Take a seat, Kili,” he nods towards the plush chair next to him.

Kili looks at the man in shock as he is offered a chair and knows what is coming he suspects he is about to lose his home as well as his mother and reluctantly takes the seat beside the man dressed in the expensive looking velvet chamber coat.

“I am sorry for your loss,” Thorin begins and he leans forward to the table. He pulls the crystal decanter towards him and begins to pour two glasses, taking one and offering the other to the young man staring at the floor.

Kili could feel tears run down his face and wipes his face with the back of his hand and reluctantly takes the glass off the gentleman. He inspects the glass and can tell that it is of the highest quality and carefully makes sure he has a safe grip. His hands begin to shake and he puts the glass down on a little table.

Thorin frowns at the lad. “Drink it,” he orders. “It will make you feel better. You are shaking like a leaf.”

Kili reluctantly picks up the glass and looks doubtful at the liquid but does as he is told and downs it in one. He can't help but pull a face as he does so, it has a strong taste one he thinks he does not care for and puts the empty glass back down and looks into the older man's  smokey grey eyes and for the first time notices they have a tinge of blue in them.

Thorin smirks at the face the young man is pulling as he downs the strong brandy. “Good lad. Now Kili, you must listen to me. We need to make arrangements. We will transfer your ma into the parlour and I will sent for doctor Oin at first light to sign the death certificate.” He can see the youngster cringe from the corner of his eyes, but this is his way of dealing with such situations - to focus on the practical things that need to be done. “Is there anyone else who may wish to come to your ma’s wake? Any friends? Anyone from town?”

The brunet thinks about this and realises how secluded his mother really had kept herself, of course she knew the people in down but none were really friends as such. The only person he knew in town was ori and he had never met his ma he shakes his head and curls his knees into himself " no-one, sir, there's just me and ma" he tells him quietly.

Thorin feels a stab of sadness. He did not know Dis particularly well, but from what he could tell she had been a good, hard-working woman. And suddenly he realises how isolated the estate has become. Because he spends so little time here nowadays it had not really dawned on him before, but now that Dis is gone there is just old Balin and the boy. He pushes the thought away for later concern and takes a sip from his brandy, letting the strong liquor warm his throat. “Then we will hold wake, the three of us,” he assures the boy. “Did your ma attend church?”

“She did sir I didn't" he admits and begins shaking as the shock sets in. He has found out his mother was dying and lost her on the same day and he was struggling to keep his emotions under control he wanted to rage and throw objects again but knew it was completely and utterly useless. He had never been one for god and church but his mother had been and he felt himself drawn even further from religion if there was indeed a god he is a cruel monster of a being he thinks to himself bitterly.

Thorin raises an eyebrow. The lower classes are usually god-fearing superstitious folk. Although Kili clearly does not follow the rules of any other part of their society so why should he expect him to follow the norm here? He himself hardly ever attends church. Of course he believes in God, but he has better things to do on a Sunday morning than to listen for hours to an old vicar reciting the same old passages from the Bible over and over again whilst listening to the out of tune singing of the congregation. He much prefered the peace and quiet of the private chapel on the estate if ever he felt the need to reaffirm his beliefs. “We will have to go and see the vicar tomorrow. To make arrangements for next Sunday.” He can see the lad begin to fret again. “Kili, do not worry about the money,” guessing at his anxiety. “Dis was my servant. She will get a good send off.” He attempts what he hopes is a warm smile at the youngster, although from what has come to pass between them over the past couple of days and the earlier accusations, he doubts that the lad cares much for such a gesture.

Kili takes in the gentleman as he makes his offer to pay for the funeral, he can actually see that he is attempting to be kind and can feel his lips begin to twitch into a smile. His body feels numb after the day’s events and he can feel himself yawn. " thank you sir" he says and can exhaustion take him over and closes his eyes.

Thorin looks at the young man, who is starting to drift off, clearly tired from all the emotions and the great loss. He gently coughs to get the lad’s attention again, knowing there is another matter he needs to raise with him. “Kili, you know your mother wanted to speak to me, before she passed away?” Deep brown eyes flick back open and look questioningly back at him. “She asked me to take you to London with me.” He considers whether to tell Kili the other half of that request, but decides against it for the time being. He has not seen McTavish in years, he is not even sure if he still works in London. Most of the barristers he knows well as they all hang out together at the Inn of Court. But then perhaps McTavish works at one of the other three in the city, which is why their paths do not cross as much. Still, he does not want to give the boy false hope; either at finding his father or even more remotely the chance that he will be acknowledged by him.

Kili stares at the man's face, he felt shocked at the request to join him in London and wondered why he had agreed.  "You want me to come to London?" He's astounded.

Thorin sighs softly. _Not really, but I have promised Dis._ “You can work for me. Keep my Chambers at Gray’s Inn for me, cook for me. I will continue to pay you as we have agreed.”

Kili lets out a sigh. He doesn’t want to go to London, but if his mother wants him to go to London with this man then to London he would go. "Yes, sir," he agrees and closes his eyes again.

Thorin keeps watch as the youngster falls asleep. And he wonders how one event can have so many implications. He will need to consider what to do with Erebor Hall now that Dis is gone. Having had the three of them, including Kili, help out around the estate had been a push but there is no way Balin can keep looking after the place all on his own. He will either have to sell up or take on more staff - neither which appeals to him right now. And then there is Kili. The thought of the young man living at his Chambers with him send a strange mix of emotions through him. He both hates the idea of sharing such an intimate space with another, having the boy under his feet all the time. But equally there is something else, a much deeper need for companionship. He had been alone for so long now that he had written such a need off long ago. But despite the circumstances under which he had been forced to get to know the boy - the theft, Dis’ death - he finds he likes to have him around, to have someone to talk to. He likes Kili’s fighting spirit and his determination, despite being utterly clueless of how the real world works.

He wonders if there is any chance he could turn the rough scrap of a boy into a young gentleman. He laughs softly at his own idiocy. The boy cannot even read or write! Look at him, he’s barely more than a streetrat! _Look at him, he is a young man with a good heart and a handsome face._ He shakes his head and pours himself another brandy, as he waits for the sunrise to announce the grim tasks of the day ahead.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did lots of research into TB and Victorian mourning and funeral customs - some grim reading indeed! We hope that it reads okay. As always, any feedback is very very welcome!


	8. Journey to a New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin written by LadyLuna  
> Kili written by witchesdelite
> 
>  
> 
> NB. Thorin is 34 years old in this story.

Kili looks around the crowded train station with fascination he has never been on a train before and watches as well dressed gentlemen rush past holding out their walking canes to get on the train. He notices a girl of around seven or eight years old clutching a teddy sitting with her mother, and feels a sudden pang of pain at the loss of his ma.

It had gotten easier over the past two weeks since her passing and Mr Oakenshield had been very kind. The wake and funeral had been a small affair and if truth be told he was glad for it all to be over.

He clutches the small bag of belongings, which is all he owns In the world, and continues to look at the crowd, astounded that this many people can fit on one steam train.

Thorin watches the youngster as he trots a couple of steps behind him. He seems nervous and he can understand that. The boy has grown up on a rural estate just outside a little country town. He will never have  been on a train and going by how uncomfortable he seemed in the horse drawn carriage he thinks this must come as rather a shock to the lad. He sighs once more at his softness to agree to the dying wish of a servant to take the boy with him to London. It had been a ridiculous spur of the moment decision and now he feels trapped in a situation that cannot be good for either of them. “Come on, Kili,” he snarls as he marches through the crowd, using his cane to push people out of way as he makes his way to the first class carriage. “Hurry!” he barks his order as the youngster struggles to drag the heavy suitcase behind him into the small gangway. He pushes the door to the reserved carriage open and takes off his hat and coat before taking a seat onto one of the soft blue velvet seats.

Kili hurriedly stops looking around and continues to wrestle with the huge case. He strains to lift it onto the train after the well-dressed gentleman and begins cursing under his breath. He eventually managed to haul it to the cabin where the master is sat and sits in the seat opposite, panting, and looks around the smart carriage. Suddenly he feels out of place and far too scruffy to be sat opposite the stylish man; even in the old shirt of the master that he is wearing he does not fit here.

Thorin pulls his pocket watch out of his breast pocket and is grateful when the shrill sound of the whistle announces the train’s departure. He will be glad to be back in London soon. It is a dirty whore of a city, where sin reigns underneath the thin varnish of society. But he loves the bustle of it, the speed with which life runs away with you. Sitting in the quiet surroundings of Erebor Hall gives him far too much time to think, to ponder over life's regrets.

He looks at the teenager opposite who stares around the carriage with huge eyes. Even now he looks terrified and he wonders how on earth the youngster is going to cope with life in the city. He will just have to get by until he can trace McTavish and somehow convince him to take his brat off his hands. And if he doesn’t …

Kili gives out a little scream as the carriage begins to move and grabs onto the table to steady himself. The odd sensations put him on edge and he wishes he was still in the cabin with his mother. The thought of London scares him and he is also worried Mr Oakenshield will get fed up of him and sack him, leaving him in an unknown place with no-one to turn to. He takes a small bag of sweets that Balin had given him out of his broken bag and offers one to the master.

Thorin stares at the young lad in surprise at the kind gesture. Truth be told the boy had been on his very best behaviour since his mother’s passing and it was not because of him he was in such a bad mood. He had hoped to have been back in London a week ago, but because of the events at Erebor Hall he had to reschedule his departure. Which meant that not only would he have to catch up on his casework - and he hoped to god that at least the papers would be presented in the right order this time, he would not use that clerk again! - but what annoyed him more was that he had missed his appointment with the American. He had not seen his secret lover for nearly two months due to the case and having had to delay their get together for another two weeks put him in a particularly foul mood.

Nonetheless, they are on their way now and his mood is beginning to shift from irritation into excitement and he throws the boy a curt smile as he accepts the hard boiled sweet. “Thank you, Kili. That is very kind of you.” He looks the lad up and down once more, seeing how he is holding on to the side table for dear life and begins to laugh softly. “It is just like a horse-drawn carriage, Kili. And I suggest you relax because we have quite a way to go still.”

Kili's eyes widen at this news, and he tries to follow the man's advice, but as the train makes a particularly loud noise he grabs onto the table again, and looks at the master into those shining grey eyes. "How are you so calm with this?" he asks, continuing to look  into his face and notices a little smile. "I don't think I will ever get use to this, sir," he says, trying to relax again but failing and remains holding onto the table.

Thorin smiles softly, unsure where to take the conversation from here. He normally spends the journey reading up on a pending case or reading a paper that he had bought at the station kiosk. But although he would dearly love to ignore his fellow passenger, feeling extremely uncomfortable at the thought of having to make idle chit chat for the next hour or so, it feels rude to leave the boy fretting when he has shown him kindness just now. He tries to think of something to pass the time as the train makes it way towards the city and has an idea. It might be a complete waste of time, but then he has time to waste until they arrive. “Kili, can you draw?”

“No sir,” the boy admits and wonders how much to say to the man. “I’ve always wanted to..." Then his courage fails and he goes silent. it is above his station to ask about reading and writing and he fears the man will laugh at him. He doesn't know why but what this man thinks of him really seems to matter and he doesn't want to make a fool of himself.

“Take down my case for me a moment, Kili,” Thorin nods at the suitcase which Kili had painstakingly managed to haul into the luggage compartment.

Kili gets up, feeling a little wobbly on his feet and starts pulling at the case wondering how anyone can have so much stuff. It seems to be stuck and he begins to pull with all his might. When it suddenly gives way and comes rushing out it causes Kili to fall on the floor, taking the case with him.

Thorin is just too late as he watches the boy tumble under the weight of the suitcase, failing to catch him as he hits the floor with a thud. “Whoah, steady on there,” he begins to laugh at Kili’s flushed cheeks. He grabs the boy by the arm and hauls him back to his feet, pulling him into the seat next to him. “You definitely don’t have sea legs,” he continues to chuckle as he grabs the suitcase in one easy motion and deposits it on the seats opposite. Keeping a much steadier stance than the youngster had as he leans into the sway of the train he begins to unclasp the buckles of the case.

Kili can feel little excited sparks run through his body at the man's touch as he helps him up. And can feel himself flush red. He watches the gentleman as he easily lifts the case and finds his eyes travel up and down his body, lingering a little on the man's buttocks as they sway gentle with the movements of the train. He shakes his head and hurriedly sits back on the chair, feeling a strange sensation in between his legs. He is quite unsure why and feels himself turn scarlet.

Thorin pulls his traveling writing case out of the suitcase and turns himself back to the youngster, eyeing him suspiciously as he avoids his eyes, staring nervously at the floor of the carriage as if he has done something naughty. He shrugs, putting it down to the boy feeling embarrassed about his earlier stumble and takes his seat next to him. As he opens up the elaborately decorated wooden box he can see the young man raise his head in interest. He takes out the fountain pen and ink pot, placing them on the little fold up table before pulling loose the finely rolled up paper. "All writing is is just drawing little symbols in the correct order." He closes the case, placing it in his lap like a desk and rolls out the paper, before he unscrews the ink pot and dips in the pen. "You want to learn to write, Kili?"

Kili feels an surprised but excited bubble creep over him at the thought of learning to write. ”Oh yes please, Mr Oakenshield," he answers enthusiastically at the prospect, and thinks of how proud his ma would be of him. He has always wanted to learn but never had the opportunity before. Why would he, he was a servant's son!

"This is not going to be the easiest environment to learn to write in, " Thorin tries to reassure the young man, "So just take it easy. If I draw some letters on the paper you can trace them when they are dry and then you can try and copy them yourself. How does that sound?"

Kili nods and watches Mr Oakenshield as he begins making some swirling lines on the paper. He finds himself watching the man's hands as he writes. He had not noticed before how big they are and stares at a large silver ring, wondering what it would be like to be able to wear such things, until he forces his attention back to the paper.

"There you are, " Thorin smiles at the young man and hands him the writing box and the paper. He points at the letters, spelling them out. "K - I -L - I. Kili. I thought it would at least be useful if you could write your own name." He dips the pen in the ink again and hands the writing instrument to Kili who takes it with such reverence if if he had just handed him the key to the Crown Jewels.

Kili looks at the writing in fascination, and slowly begins an attempt to copy the gentleman's writing. It takes a couple of minutes to copy all the letters but finally he has a shaky messy version of what the man has written. “That’s my name, truly??" And he can't help but smile happy with excitement at his first attempt.

Thorin is surprised to find himself take some enjoyment from Kili's raw enthusiasm. "You did well, " he praises him, watching him beam with pride. And he thinks that underneath the grime and the uncut, messy hair Kili does look cute when he smiles like that. “So what else would you like to write?”

He looks around the carriage for inspiration then his eyes fall on the man's ring. "How about _ring_?" he asks nervously. _It really is a nice ring_ , he thinks to himself, eyeing the ocean blue jewel in the centre. He hands back the pen to the older man and gives him a huge smile.

Time seems to fly by as Thorin shows Kili how to write the word ring and then train. He finds he enjoys seeing Kili pick up the skill quicker than he had expected as he starts to notice patterns in the letters, the I that occurs in each word and then the R and the N. And he thinks how this is exactly the sort of thing he had looked forward to teaching his own son - although in reality his wife would probably have insisted on hiring a nanny to do that. “You are quite a natural,” he smiles at Kili, who has finally relaxed and no longer seems to notice that they are even on a train as he focuses so intensely on his writing, painstakingly painting each letter with the greatest care as he bites on his lip in concentration. And he actually pulls a face of disappointment when Thorin tells him that the next stop is Victoria Station where the train will terminate.

The brunet can feel nerves kick in about what London will be like, and begins to pick at the hem of his shirt, he had forgotten where they were going and was starting to even forget that he was only the man's servant. He can feel himself become quite queasy with nerves and looks out the window.  

Thorin takes the writing box, the paper and the pen off Kili begins to put the items back in the suitcase. Whereas but an hour ago he had wished for this journey to be over before it had even begun he now feels a strange sadness, knowing that life is about to return to normal very shortly with Kili being the awkward teenage servant boy and him the hard-nosed barrister. But at least the lad has proven to him his willingness to learn and that he is really rather bright. And perhaps when they settle down in his home in London they can continue these lessons. It will be something to do on the long winter nights they lay ahead.

He looks out of the window as the train comes to a slowing hold. “Will you be alright carrying that?” he nods at the suitcase.

Kili looked at the man with wide eyes. "Yes, Mr Oakenshield," he replies sadly, taking the case off the seat. And slowly following the man suddenly feeling quite disappointed to get off the train.

He looked around all the people who were tightly packed together like cattle. He could smell piss and smog as he got off the train.

There was a mixture of well-dressed people in top hats and suits holding walking sticks. Some were smoking others had their nose in papers. There were children clasping the mother's hands and father's hands.

Some people were dressed similar to him and seemed to be begging for loose change. He suddenly felt overwhelmed and grabbed onto Mr Oakenshield’s arm for dear life.

Thorin jumps as he suddenly feels a tuck on his sleeve and he is ready to swat what he expects to be a beggar. But then he realises that it is Kili, looking frightened at the overwhelming onslaught on the senses. He remembers when his dad had first taken him to this very station and how he too had felt shocked at the noise, the smell and the sheer volume of people passing through this station. “Hold on to my coat,” he orders Kili, as he effortlessly finds his way through the masses towards the exit.

The cold hits him as they step outside and as he looks up at the grey sky he thinks it might snow. He walks up to one of the carriages and has a brief exchange with the driver about the price whilst he keeps Kili in his peripheral vision, who is still holding on to him as if he might get swallowed up is he lets go of his coat. “Inside,” he orders the boy, feeling suddenly embarrassed to have a servant boy clutching at him like a toddler.

Kili looks up at the man's face and can see it change back to the hard face of the man from before the man who had given him scars as a permanent reminder of his station in life and lets go of the coat, he can feel the disappointment flood through him and lets out a sigh and follows the man's orders and gets in to the carriage wishing he was back at Erebor manor, with his ma in their little shack and not shivering in this cold scary place.

They ride to his Chambers at Gray’s Inn in silence. As he glances over at the boy he thinks that at least after the train ride this must feel more familiar to him. He stares out of the window, taking in the busy streets as the carriage rolls over the cobblestone of the Strand. He feels weary now and will be glad to be inside his familiar chambers before long. Finally he can see the familiar building stretch out as they pull up the to the ticket gate of the Square and the carriage comes to a hold. “We’re here,” he says without looking at Kili. When the carriage door is opened he is quick to descend down the step. “Come boy,” he orders as he pays the driver. And he strides towards the large building stretching out before them.

Kili does as he is told cursing the master and his ever changing moods. He doesn’t know how to act; one minute the gentleman was acting as almost a friend, the next treating him as if he was meaningless. He looks up and stares in awe at the red bricked building in front of him. It was gigantic with at least two hundred windows. There were huge trees around the tall building shadowing much of the grounds. Kili realises he has stopped to look at the building and hurries to catch up with the master who has carried on walking, struggling with the heavy suitcase as he does.

When the teenager catches up with his master Thorin has pulled the heavy iron key out of his pocket and unlocks the door to one of the chambers in the far left wing of the building. He steps into the small hallway that leads into the chambers beyond and feels for the little lever to switch on the light. As he does so he can hear the youngster behind him scream out in fright as the hallway lights up under the soft flickering wall-lights. He turns around to find the lad staring open mouthed at the newly installed lamps.

The brunette looks in to the master eyes "How… how did you do that?" he asks nervously, eyes wide, looking around the room.

Thorin begins to laugh at the shocked look on the young man’s face. “Black magic,” he teases the youngster, who pulls such a funny face at that that it makes him laugh even harder. “It’s electricity,” he explains. “Don’t ask me how it works, but that switch there turns the lights on and off.” He continues through the hall and walks into the high ceilinged lounge. “Kili!” he calls out as the youngster appears to have stalled again.

Kili starts turning the switch on and off fascinated that one little switch can control the lights, then automatically stops at the call and hurries after the well-dressed gentleman " yes sir" he says when he eventually catches up and looks into the man's sparkling eyes.

“Can you make a fire. It is freezing in here,” he says as he hangs his coat on the stand and begins to pull off his black leather gloves. “You will sleep in here,” he adds as he points at one of the sofas in the corner. “You will have to go to the Strand tomorrow to buy some blankets but for tonight I can find you something. Once you have finished making the fire you need to go and buy food for tonight. Any questions?”

Kili looks around the room there is so many thinks he wants to ask. Why had he agreed to bring him to London? What on earth was that device with the cord attached on the desk?  However he looks at his master and settles for "Yes, sir. Where can I buy food from and is there anything in particular you would like me to cook, sir?" he asks.

Thorin pulls out his wallet and gives the boy five shilling. "I will walk with you to Holborn and show you the shops. I'm going out to catch up with a friend. I need you to cook for the two of us tonight. Something nice, perhaps some game from the butchers. This man is very important to me so you'd better be on your best behaviour. Is that clear?" he adds to the unspoken threat.

The brunet gulps and looks at the well-dressed man and nods slowly knowing if anything was to ever go wrong it is him that will face the man's temper and also punishment.

Thorin spends just short of an hour resting, reading his post and writing some notes as Kili stokes up the fire taking the chill out of the room. He occasionally glances over at the youngster who looks utterly bewildered and lost and already he finds himself regretting this arrangement. He will have to find something useful for the boy to do soon or he will drive him insane.

"Alright then," he eventually puts his pen down and gets to his feet. "Let's go."

Kili gets up from his warm spot curled on a chair by the fire, he had been lost in his own thoughts, when Mr Oakenshield had spoken, which had startled him he follows the gentleman to the door grabbing his tatty coat and old hat as he does, and hastily opens the door for his master looking at the man's defined strong features on his face and quickly looking away when the older man makes eye contact.

Thorin raises an eyebrow at the lad's flushed cheeks. "Everything alright, Kili? " he asks in his deep rumbling voice.

Kili looks up at the older man. "I'm okay, sir, just lost in my thoughts that's all," he replies with a little smile. "You startled me," he adds as Mr Oakenshield walks past him out of the door.  

As they leave the complex and turn into the main street, Thorin feels his mood lighten and his heart bloom as he thinks about his rendezvous. “I will be an hour,” he tells the boy as he points him to the shops on the high-street. “Wait for me outside the Chambers once you are finished,” he gives the boy one final instruction, before raising his hand up at a carriage to take him towards Waterloo.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Thranduil written by LadyLuna  
> Kili written by witchesdelite
> 
> NB. Thranduil is about 27 - 28 is this story. And he is definitely more based on Lee than Thranduil in the hobbit ...

Thorin feels the flutter of excitement in his chest as he pushes open the heavy door to the little public house on the cross roads. It is all part of the ritual and even the simple motion of walking into the pub sends tingles of arousal down his spine. He eyes the customers quickly before he proceeds down the back of the pub. As soon as he sees him his heart makes a little jump and he feels a smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

As soon as the blond man sees him approach he throws him the widest smile in return. He can see he has already bought him a glass of red, as he always does.

“Hey!” the American says with a grin as he takes his seat next to him. Then he lowers his voice under the register of the pub’s noise. “I have missed you.”

It is difficult. He wants nothing more than to throw his arms around the man and shows him how much he has missed him in return. However, under any circumstances such public display of affection would have been frowned upon. And this is by far a more dangerous game they are playing, risking so much more than just their good reputation.  
“And I you,” he whispers back as he accepts the glass of wine. “I am sorry I could not make it back to London any sooner.”

The tall blond man looks at his lover. “You look like you’ve had a rough day.”

Thorin snorts. “More than a rough day. More like a rough month I would say.”

Thranduil cocks his head in sympathy. “Why, what’s happened? Has old Balin been giving you grief?”

Thorin cannot help but smile. Of all the people in the world the old servant would be the one to give him the least problems. “Of course not.” He sighs as he twirls the stem of the glass between his fingers. “My housekeeper passed away. Consumption.” He looks into the sapphire blue eyes of his lover as he sees him flinch. “Don’t worry I would know by now if I’d caught it.” He hesitates for a moment whether to tell Thranduil any more but then again he will find out soon enough. “I somehow agreed to take her fifteen year old boy back to London with me.”

Thranduil almost spits out his wine in laughter. “Seriously? You are babysitting a teenager?” Thorin throws him a dark look, which makes him laugh even harder. “Is there an ulterior motive to this?” he teases.

Thorin’s eyes grow wide at the audacity of it. “He is a servant boy!” he hisses.  
Thranduil folds his arms and throws him a cheeky smile. “Indeed, and what is he serving exactly, Mr Oakenshield?”

Thorin can feel the deep blush creep into his cheeks. “It is not like that,” he grumbles under his breath, but he feels the naughty suggestion stir him as his lover is flirtily teasing him. “Anyway, are you looking to hand over the reins?” he smiles softly as he continues to keep his eyes downcast.

“I don’t think I was ever the one holding the reins,” Thranduil whispers back and winks. “But no, that is not at all what I suggested,” he is quick to answer and he is pleased to see the smile on his older lover’s face. It has been too long since he last saw him, last saw the restrained smile under those grey-blue eyes, and he has been yearning for the man’s love for weeks.  
“Anyway,” Thorin says, flicking his head around to check that no-one is paying them any undue attention, “the boy is a remarkable cook. So I was wondering … Well … Would you …” he lowers his voice to barely more than a whisper, “Would you like to come back to my place? Have dinner …”

As he glances up he can see the sparkle dancing across his lover’s eyes as he nods almost unnoticably.

“So how are things with you?” he reinstates the volume, feeling elated at the prospect of dining with Thranduil later without all this secrecy. 

His blond lover smirks. “Well, the wife is suffering with hysteria. And Legolas has only just avoided being suspended for slapping a classmate. So all in all, I have had a wonderfully exciting week.” He can feel his hand creep towards his friend, but restrains himself. This is not the place. Things are difficult enough as they are and although this pub is far enough from either of their inner circles to avoid bumping into any familiar faces, sometimes London is barely better than a small town and especially along the higher echelons gossip is ripe. “So what is he like?”

Thorin looks up in confusion.

“The boy.”

“Ah.” He considers the question for a moment. What is Kili like? “He’s … rough. Has not been outside Erebor Hall much and has pretty much had no interactions with anyone of class other than me.” But he feels a smile warm inside him as he adds. “But I think deep down he is a good lad. Considering he just lost his only kin he has held himself like a man. And he does try very hard.” He decides not to mention the incident back home. Thranduil will not let him live it down if he finds out. Nor does he tell him that the boy is another barrister’s bastard child. His lover does not know McTavish and it adds nothing to the conversation.

“Well, I can’t wait to meet your little protégé.”

“He is not …” He bites his lip, knowing that his secret gay lover is just toying with him. “You will,” he grins as he relaxes back under the soothing taste of the cheap wine, letting his eyes roam as inconspicuously as possible over the tall American’s fine features.

***

Kili is slumped against the wall with the groceries next to him. He had decided he didn't like London it was dirty, there were too many people and they were all rude.  
He had been waiting for the master for what seems like hours. He wants to go into the chambers and sit by the fire. His hands are frozen and his coat is so thin it gives no protection against the harsh bitter wind. 

He can hear laughing and recognises the familiar deep laugh of Mr Oakenshield and hurries to stand up.He watches as his master heads down the corridor with a long blonde haired tall man who has an arm wrapped around Mr Oakenshield. He feels a sudden pang of jealousy when he sees the way Mr Oakenshield looks at the man. The other seems to be a little younger than the master and he wears a black suit and portrays a certain class around him.  
As they approach Kili he starts to inspect his shoes unsure what to do and how to handle the situation of his master wrapped into a loving embrace with the smart dressed blonde man.

As soon as he spots the teenager sat waiting on his doorstep as instructed, Thorin shrugs himself out of the arm casually slung around his waist. They had been a little careless under the soothing influence of the wine, but the boy reminds him how they should not show so little regard when they are in public.

“Kili,” he gets the boy’s attention, who seems to do his best to not look at them. He holds out the key ring to him. “Open the door for us, boy.”

The brunet lets out a little sigh and starts to fumble with the key in the lock, he hears it click and pushes the door open. He goes to walk in through the door then suddenly remembers the two gentlemen and holds it open waiting for them to enter.  
Thranduil lets out a soft laugh. "I see what you mean, " he grins at Thorin. "Needs some polishing. “He follows his lover inside and then turns to look the servant boy up and down. 

"Kili," Thorin barks. "Take Mr Boisvert's coat and hat." He finds himself tense in embarrassment that he has to spell everything out to the boy. 

But Thranduil smiles kindly as he takes in the youth's features when he takes his coat and hat as ordered, keeping his eyes downcast.

Kili begins to shift uncomfortably under the blonde man's gaze and puts the coat and hat on the rack then goes to take his master's without making eye contact. He can smell alcohol on the man and knows he probably has had a fair bit to drink so decides not to give him any reason to be annoyed at him and to just keep quiet and do as he is told. 

Thorin invites his blonde lover into the lounge and pours the both of them a rather generous amount of brandy before he takes his seat next to the American. He can feel the eager beat of his heart as he senses the younger man's warmth radiate out at him. The boy's presence is grating on him as it stands in the way of that which he wants more than anything right now - to feel Thranduil's lips pressed hard against his.  
But his lover seems to have other ideas. "Kili !" the American calls out to the teenage boy. 

Kili jumps at the sound of his name and frowns at the strange accent. He walks over to him and looks up at his face. “Yes mister," he says politely, not daring to look at Mr Oakenshield. 

Thranduil throws the lad a bright smile. "Thorin tells me you are an amazing cook. So what are you cooking us tonight? "

The brunet screws up his face at the accent he can make out bits but not all of it. He could make out the bit about cooking and can't help but feel a little proud over the compliment, but a little confused about the Thorin bit. Then it dawns on him it must be the master. Thorin Oakenshield he says in head and thinks it suits the tall man. " I'm going to make game pie, mister," he answers nervously looking at his hands.

"My my, that sounds wonderful indeed! I'm looking forward to it. So what do you think of London so far then, Kee?" he asks, ignoring his lover's impatient shift beside him. 

Kili looks at the man shocked that he seems interested in him. No-one was ever interested in what he had to say; well apart from his mother. His heart gives a painful pang at the thought of his ma and he forces himself to concentrate on what the blonde man had asked. “It’s different, and there's so many people," he states.

"Indeed!” Thranduil laughs. "I thought the same when I first got here. Where I grew up on the plantage in America we had so much space! I could run for a whole day and not reach the end of my father's land!"

Thorin throws his partner a surprised look that he is talking so openly to the boy. He had hardly ever spoken to him about his childhood in America. Then again their little time together is usually otherwise occupied.

Kili nods enthusiastically. "Exactly! I used to run around the estate grounds and spend time with the horse and dogs, and walk down the village and everyone was polite to everyone, well mostly. I said good day to someone here and they actually ran away," he babbles forgetting who he is talking to. 

"Kili, don't you have any work to do? " Thorin interrupts the chatty young man who is taking up far too much of his lover's attention. 

Thranduil slaps him playfully across the thigh. "Oh stop being such a grump." He smiles back at Kili. "Still, that pie is not going to cook itself and I'm hungry. Off you go then, " he gives the youngster a little wink. 

Kili begins to laugh and decides he likes this man, he seems fun and interesting,and genuinely seems interested in what he has to say. He looks at the master mid laugh and stops abruptly at the thunderous look he is giving him and makes a hasty exit to cook the dinner. 

Thranduil turns towards his black-haired lover whose eyes have grown dark in annoyance. He chuckles at him and shrugs his shoulders. "You've got to admit he's cute," he teases. 

Thorin raises an eyebrow. "He is rude and a slum-boy," he spits, but feels himself relax as Thranduil starts to run his fingers teasingly over his chest. 

"You're jealous," he whispers hotly in his ear. And he squeals in laughter as Thorin pushes him back and begins to bite down on his neck, proving his statement as the older man sucks his mark under the collar of his shirt, only barely hidden from view. 

Kili can hear the squeals from the hallway and slowly makes his way towards the door. His eyes widen in shock at the sight in front of him.

The master is pressed up against the blonde, his face buried against his neck as his left hand is fiddling with the top button of the American man's shirt. He Feels the heat in between his legs as waves of excitement floods over his body. He knows he should not be spying on his master and his guest, that he should get on with his duties but cannot peel his eyes away. 

A soft groan escapes Thranduil's lips as Thorin teases the sensitive spot on his neck and squeezes his thigh firmly. It has been so long since he felt those strong big hands roam him possessively and it does not take long for things to stir. His eyes flick open as he intends to turn into his older lover, wanting so badly to snog the breath from him, but when he does he catches two big brown eyes peering back at him from the hallway. He can see the fear spark in the boy’s eyes as he catches the little peeping Tom and the youngster darts instantly. He can feel a heated blush spread across his face as even greater arousal races through him in the knowledge that the boy was watching him and Thorin act rather intimately together. He is about to say something to Thorin but then thinks the better of it. He does not want to get the cute servant boy into trouble with his master. Instead he completes his turn into his lover as he grabs his face with both hands, dragging his mouth hard against his. “I have missed this so much,” he breathes into his lover’s mouth, accepting the playful tongue that pushes into his mouth. He lets the stronger man push him back against the pillows again as Thorin continues to nip at the dip of his collarbone, whilst the hand with the large silver ring explores where no other man’s hand should ever go. And he finds his gaze occasionally flicking back towards the doorway, feeling almost disappointed when the boy does not reappear.

Kili can feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment at being caught watching his master and what appears to be his lover. He expects Mr Oakenshield to come storming into the room shouting. When he doesn't he begins to relax; maybe the blonde man didn't actually see him he thinks to himself. 

His breathing begins to slow down to its usual pace and he can feel his body calm down and return to normal.

He hurriedly starts cooking the masters supper, taking his time so he does not walk in again on anything that he is not meant to witness.

 

***

“Ehm, I think we had best come back to this later,” Thorin pulls himself upright, breathing heavily in his arousal of having his lover finally in his arms again. “Dinner will be ready soon.” He could not have timed it any better as only moments after they have straightened their shirts and buttoned up their collars, each trying their best to look presentable - although that is easier said than done - there is a knock on the door. Thorin flies off the sofa as his cheeks burn fiercely, once more wishing that his privacy was not being disturbed by the lost boy. He quickly takes his seat at the dining table, watching his blonde lover take his time as he casually strolls over, teasingly swaying his hips at him which is making none of this any easier. “Come in,” the calls thickly when Thranduil has finally sat himself down hiding his sin from view and he stares hard at the surface if the table as he hears the door open, regretting his decision to bring his lover back here as he feels the weight of his sinful desires weigh heavy on him.

The brunet slowly enters the room avoiding both men’s eyes. His cheeks are already burning and he decides to try and get in and out as quick as possible. He hurries over to the table and places the master’s plate in front of him, not making eye contact, and rushes to get around to the other side of the table. In his rush he loses his footing and feels himself falling on the floor as the blond’s plate flies across the floor and slides into the chair and breaks with a loud smash.

The room falls quiet and he can feel himself holding his breath. He can't even look up at the two men as his whole body fills with fear, the warning the master gave him ringing in ears, and he can feel his colour drain from his face. 

The first sound that breaks through the tense silence is that of Thorin’s booming voice. “You stupid boy!” he shouts at Kili as he pushes back his chair, ready to rise to his feet.

Kili hurriedly gets to his feet and starts to back away from the table, his eyes widen in horror at the furious look on the master’s face. " I'm sorry, sir," he says hurriedly still backing away from him. 

Suddenly the blond gentleman begins to laugh loudly . His laugh is much higher, clearer than Thorin’s, like silvery bells. He watches the boy back up like a frightened streetdog, stumbling over the remnants of the plate and pie scattered across the floor and he looks at his fiery lover whose cheeks are now coloured not only in the aftermath of their kissing but also from what is probably a combination of embarrassment and anger and he cannot help but find the whole situation incredibly funny. “You really are a slum-boy,” he continuous to laugh out loud. “Look at the mess you have made of you master’s chambers!”

Kili begins to feel nervous at the blondes laughing he continues to look at the master and is uncertain what to do.He then dares to look at the blonde and feels unsure whether to take the comments as an insult or if to relax a little. He looks back to Mr Oakenshield and continues to feel just as confused as his expression hasn't changed at all. 

Thorin looks at Thranduil, who seems to be crying with laughter now. And although he is fuming with Kili for being such a clumsy idiot and ruining his mood even further, he feels that as always his lover has a calming influence on him. He refrains from storming over and showing Kili the back of his hand. Instead he points at the mess on the floor. “Tidy that up,” he growls. “And then serve Mr Boisvert a new portion. Hurry.”

Thranduil knows better than to tell Thorin how to run his household and manage his servants. He has grown up on a cotton plantage and has seen much harsher treatment of servants and slaves in his home country than the way Thorin treats this lad. But he can’t help but feel for the boy. Perhaps it is because Kili is the only one here with no others of his status to share his burdens with. Perhaps it is because he actually quite likes the boy. And maybe it is even because he wishes Thorin had some companionship for when he is not around. His marriage may be a charade but at least he has a family and busy home to go back to. He sometimes thinks Thorin is just lonely. “You are making me feel old,” he chuckles at Thorin. “Calling me Mr Boisvert all the time.” He takes his lover's hand, not caring that the boy is still there as he begins to tidy up the mess, and winks at Thorin as he can see that the stern man is starting to chill out under his soothing touch. “Such a shame about the pie,” he smiles at the boy, before returning his eyes to Thorin to keep his gaze occupied as the boy tidies up.

Kili begins to pick up the broken shards of the plate. He knows he is lucky the man is here otherwise he would probably be in a world of trouble. He hurries into the kitchen and grabs the plate he had made for himself and sighs knowing he would be hungry, but at least maybe he can salvage the damage he had done by sacrificing his dinner.

Maybe he would of been better just refusing to come to this place. He had been unsure about coming to London and now he dislikes the place even more. 

He returns to the dining area and places his meal in front of the kind man. "Here we go, mister, sorry about my stupidity," he quietly mutters and moves his hair to cover his face as his usual safety net. 

Thranduil reaches out and he can see the boy flinch as he brushes the hair out of his face behind his ear, as if he was expecting a smack. “Don’t hide that pretty face,” he winks at him. “And thank you for my dinner. Off you go now before you make a mess again.”

He looks back at Thorin who has raised his eyebrows at him, “What was that all about?”

“What?” he shrugs innocently. “Oh come on, darling, eat your food. It smells wonderful. And besides the sooner you have finished your plate the sooner we can look forward to other pleasures, right?” And he smiles his self-assured smile as he can see Thorin’s frown shift into the familiar sparkle that promises of a wonderful continuation of the evening.


	10. Peeping Kili

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning!
> 
> Thorin and Thranduil written by LadyLuna  
> Kili written by witchesdelite
> 
> Notes at the end of the chapter on Victorian slang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little history lesson in the laws around homosexuality in 19th century England ....
> 
> Under the 1828 act buggery was a crime punishable by death (through hanging). This was changed in 1861 under the Offences to the Persons Act, when anal intercourse remained a crime but carried a 10-year to life prison sentence instead. Other sexual acts between homosexuals were certainly socially frowned upon but were not criminal offences until the law was changed in 1885.

Despite the incident with the broken plate and the pie on the floor, dinner has been lovely. The food had been exquisite as he had come to expect from Kili and being able to share it with Thranduil made it all the more enjoyable. When he had first met the man he had instantly felt an attraction for him. He was smart, world-wise, from a very high standing and wealthy family. But more importantly he was kind, funny and incredibly handsome. He had known from the off that Thranduil was married and had a young lad. Such was expected of any man his age and status and had Arwen not died Thorin would have been in exactly that very same position himself. How he felt about men was something banal, something that he could never openly acknowledge. Of course working in law he was more aware that this was not just a personal opinion of others. His feelings for Thranduil were considered an abominable vice by the church and state alike and how he intended to express those feelings very shortly was what the courts perceived as an “unnatural offence”, labelling him as a criminal on par with rapists and murderers. He had always thought it rather ironic how he spent his professional life trying to get keep free the most prolific of criminals and yet wanting to make love to someone he cared deeply for could land him in jail for life. Still barely twenty years prior they could have been hanged for it. He smirks thinking about that for a moment as he looks at the handsome American. None of it matters, none of it would convince him that he does not desire this man.

He sways slightly on his feet as he gets up, feeling both full from the nice meal and tipsy from the brandywine. “Kili!” he calls out, steadying himself on his lover, as he gazes into those incredibly blue eyes which send such exciting flutters through him.

Kili drops the book he was inspecting in shock at his name being called. He had no idea what book it was, but from the earlier lesson could make out it had a K and I in the title. He hastily picks up the book and puts it back in the bookcase and dashes out the room to the dining room, stopping in front of the tall man. “Yes sir, you wanted me," he states, noticing him swaying a little. 

“We’re finished,” Thorin slurs as he points at the table. “You can clear the plates away. I will be in my room now.” He throws Thranduil an intoxicated grin as he struggles to keep his normally pristine composure. “Don’t disturb me.”

The brunet looks at the table and can see an empty bottle and then looks back to the master. "Yes sir, goodnight," he replies unsure if he likes the man drunk. His tone had become slurred of course, but somehow fiercer also. He walks over to the table and begins to stack the dirty plates and cutlery in a neat pile avoiding looking at the clearly merry men.

Thranduil lets himself be dragged out of the lounge and towards the bedroom. He thinks Thorin is funny when he is drunk - although he hopes he is not too drunk! - as he drops all of those perfect British manners and just turns into this normal horny guy who wants to have some fun. He watches the dark-haired gentleman slump onto the large bed as he remains standing in the doorway, glancing back into the hall. Slowly he pushes the door shut and he lets his eyes roam over the man splayed out on the bed. “You had better not be passed out on me,” he scolds him as he slowly walks over. He sits himself down on the bed next to his lover and pokes him in the ribs, causing Thorin to groan unintelligently at him as he attempts - and fails - to swat his hand away.

He laughs at the state Thorin is in and decides to leave him be whilst he begins to undress. He takes his time over unbuttoning his shirt and then neatly hanging it over the chair by the dresser, before he removes his slacks and undergarments. “Have I become so familiar to you that you don’t even long to look at me anymore?” he teases his lover who still has his face buried in the blankets.

At that Thorin slowly raises his head, blinking against the spinning sensation before his gaze focuses on the sight before him. And he grins widely as he takes in the delightful view of his lover standing naked and hard before him. “That …” he says thickly, “is beautiful …”

Thranduil laugh out loud. “Get up, you sod. Or I will find someone else to play with.” He knows his lover too well and the threat indeed has the desired effect as the tall man hauls himself to his knees.

“Com’ere then,” he orders the blond and as soon as Thranduil steps within reach he swings his arm out at him and drags him onto the bed showering him in hot wet kisses.

Thranduil closes his eyes as he lets Thorin explore him. He enjoys the touch of those soft gentleman’s hands of his - ones that have never suffered a day’s hard labour in their life. But although the flesh is soft, the touch is firm, demanding and dominant. He moans softly as hands are followed by the brush of Thorin’s well-groomed beard and moustache, and he slides his hands into the raven black hair, tugging softly at the roots. He tries in vain to get Thorin to move down to where he wants those kisses most, but Thorin continues to tease him, placing more wet kisses in the dips of his hipbones, but never even brushing against his manhood. “Stop teasing!” he groans in frustration. But all it earns him is both his hands pinned above his head as Thorin straddles him.

“You do not get to demand here,” he smirks at him and Thranduil just grins back, enjoying the thought of giving in completely to the stronger man; to relinquish control as Thorin decides what pleasure he gets to take and give. He spends all day making decisions and it is nice to surrender that control in the company of Thorin Oakenshield, who is one of the very few men he’s ever met who is able to dominate him.

“You are still dressed,” the whimpers softly. “Would you like me to make you feel a little more comfortable, darling?”

Thorin considers him for a moment, weighing up whether that would give the blonde too much control, but decides that actually he quite likes the thought of the handsome man slowly revealing what he has to offer him. He smiles and rolls back onto his back, waiting for the room to stop spinning as he closes his eyes. Thranduil’s touch is slow but never hesitates as he makes ease of the buttons of his shirt, teasing his fingers in tickling patterns across his chest. “You like that, darling?” he whispers kisses against his abdomen.

“Yes,” Thorin groans softly. “More.”

Thranduil is not as patient as his older lover is and as soon as he has managed to release the buttons of the man’s trousers he slips his hand inside, feeling for the treasure he desires. He closes his eyes as he delights in the deep-throated moans that follow as he teases the hot hardness that lays waiting for him.

“You want me to free you, darling?” he bites his lip. He takes the groaned response as an acknowledgement. Thorin is proving to be a dead weight in his intoxicated state as he refuses to aid him whilst he attempts to pull down his trousers. But eventually he manages to pulls the offending garments down and throws them on the floor, admiring his lover’s naked form in its fully aroused state for him. “Oh how I have missed this,” he smiles, running a finger all the way up Thorin’s thighs until he drags it along the length of his thick cock. “You beautiful man,” he sighs heatedly.

Thorin hisses under the touch and his eyes flick open. He looks into the sparkling blue eyes of the man knelt beside him and beckons him closer until he only needs to move slightly to close the gap between their mouths. He pulls the American hard against him until his erection is pressed against his own. “You are so delightful,” he kisses the man hard, tasting the alcohol on his tongue although the well-travelled man clearly holds his liquor better than he does.

He slowly rolls the tall blonde over onto his back. “You want me to indorse you?” he groans, all shame now out of the window under the combination of drunken horniness. He will always ask him though, knowing in his sub consciousness that he is asking the man to risk his freedom for him.

Thranduil draws in a deep breath as he nods, spreading himself for his lover.

Thorin smiles heatedly and presents his index and middle finger to the American, who greedily sucks them into his mouth, ensuring to provide ample lubrication since it is in his own best interest. He closes his eyes again as the Englishman runs the moist fingers between his buttocks, spreading his cheeks as he teases his rim. The initial touch always makes him jolt, but he is quick to relax under the firm but gentle touch. Thorin wriggles himself closer clasping his mouth over his eager lover’s as he tongues his greedily. Slowly he increases the pressure of his fingers, stretching the tight ring of muscle little by little.

Thranduil groans loudly as he enters him, feeling those practised fingers twist inside him as he claws softly at his lover’s shoulders, letting out squeals of pleasure as he is stretched wider. Thorin is a good lover, allowing him time to get used to the foreplay, before he gives him caudle, and he makes his approval known through his whimpers.

Kili walks into the hallway and he can feel himself reddening at the noise coming from the master’s chambers. He has an idea of what is going on inside, from what he walked in on earlier, although he is not exactly sure what the men are up to. Something that involves kissing and touching – he flushes further at the thought – of each other’s genitals; or at least that is what Ori had told him grownups do when they make noises like that. He feels embarrassed and thinks about going into the kitchen to block out the sounds.

He finds himself slowly nearing the master’s chamber on his way to the kitchen until he's stood outside the room, leaning against the wall opposite tentatively looking at the door as he listens the stifled moans inside. He can feel his body begin to react to those noises and to his shame his manhood begins to harden between his legs. A wave of fear rushes over him. He had of course felt his body harden before but never with the same excited fizzle that ran through his body now.

He bites his hand, unsure what to do next. He knows he should carry on walking to the kitchen and keep his head down whilst the master finishes his business with the American. But the arousal in his breeches is too much and with a bright red face he finds himself unbuttoning his worn trousers as he reaches inside and takes his tackle in his hand. He rubs his thumb nervously over his slit, feeling the moisture there, and he starts to slide his hand up and down groaning softly as he does so.

The two men on the bed still for a moment as Thorin thinks he can hear a noise outside the bedroom. But he is quickly reminded of the task in hand as Thranduil wriggles his backside, dragging himself eagerly over his fingers. “I can take it,” he encourages the older man.

Thorin smiles happily at the invitation and he slowly pulls back his fingers, drawing more whimpers from his lover. “You want me to ride your little rump?” he moans against the blonde’s neck as he pushes the American into position underneath him.

“Yes!” his partner cries out hoarsely, sinking into the mattress under the weight of the Brit. “Oh sweetheart, yes!” He can feel the tip of Thorin’s thick manhood pressed hard against his roundmouth as he tries to relax into what he knows will be momentarily uncomfortable but so so worth it and he groans soft encouragement to the older man pressing down onto him.

The noises conjure up images in Kili’s mind on what is the other side of the door. His heart accelerates and the speed of his hand quickens. He starts to pant groans and every noise he hears from the room makes his prick spark with excitement. He can hear the way his master barks every dirty order and his mind floods with lustful images. The encouraging cries of the American bring him closer to the edge; every little creak of the bed sends an electric current through his body and he can picture himself as the blonde being used by the older man and he longs to be in his place and begins to quicken his pace once more letting out a moan of delight.

Thorin drills himself with determined surety into the tight heat of his lover, moaning deep in his throat as his bottom-man squeezes his hardness deliciously. Nothing compares to this. When his lover is not around he will settle for the quick release from one of the rent boys caterwauling the backstreets of London. But nothing feels like this, seeing the lust and pleasure painted in the blush of his lover’s cheeks as he shaft himself to the hilt, moaning deeply in pleasure.

Suddenly Thranduil places a finger on his lips, indicating him to be quiet. He looks at him in confusion, but then he hears the soft whimpers also and his eyes grow wide in shock.

“I think we have an audience,” Thranduil smiles cheekily at him.

He feels confusion, embarrassment and annoyance battle inside him, momentarily taking over from lust as realisation hits him. But Thranduil places his hands on both sides of his face and gets him to look at him. “Just keep buggering me,” he smiles. “I think it is rather erotic that your servant boy sounds like he is fetching mettle over us.”

Thorin blushes at the crudeness and he wants to argue, but then his clouded and aroused mind considers this. And he actually finds that put to him like that it does sound all sorts of wrong but exciting nonetheless. He nods as he begins to roll his hips again, eager now to seek pleasure again as he tries to be a little quieter this time whilst they listen out for the muffled noises on the other side of the door.

Kili immediately halts at the silence that suddenly falls in the room, but then he feels a sense of relief when he hears the springs of the bed again along with the sounds of panting. He begins to rub the head of his pipe marvelling over the wonderful sensation it causes. He tries to keep his cries down but cannot help letting out a slightly loud groan at the amazing new feelings on his body. His face is burning up with both lust and fear that he will be heard and caught. But somehow this thought makes him even more excited, and he begins to moan slightly louder whilst thrusting into his hand.

Thorin growls deep in his throat as he pounds the American down harder into the mattress, feeling the desire to reach his peak inside this man build up rapidly. Still he listens out for the sounds on the other side of the door, and he can feel his ears burn as the soft moans become louder and more urgent. And for but a flash of a moment as he closes his eyes he pictures Kili underneath him, imagines drawing those sounds directly from his lips as he penetrates that youthful body. He quickly opens his eyes, his heart pounding even louder, as he smiles at the familiar face beaming back at him. “Feel … good?” he pants.

“Oh so good, Thorin,” Thranduil whimpers loudly as his lover slaps hard into him. “Do me hard, darling, I know you like it.”

At these words Kili can feel his body completely lose it he imagines the master lying against him, touching him like he is touching himself right now, imagines staring into those gorgeous eyes and getting lost in them. He can feel his movements become more urgent and erratic and it feels so good. Suddenly his balls tighten and as he carries on stroking himself, taking in every little dirty sound from the room, he comes heavily into his hand covering it with his white pearly seed.

Thorin can feel his orgasm wash over him as he pushes his hips down hard, holding still between Thranduil’s widespread legs as he fills him deep. He cannot control those loud deep throated groans rise up from inside his body as his eyes roll back under the pleasure. He can feel his American lover dig his fingernails deep into his buttocks drawing him in even closer as he shudders and moans his release into him.

“Oh darling,” Thranduil grins as he watches the pleasure painted across his lover’s face, just moments after he has heard similarly pleasurable noises come from the hallway. A part of him wants to drag the boy inside the room right now to help finish him off, but he knows that is neither his place nor his decision. Instead he takes himself in hand as Thorin rolls off him and onto his back and he starts to help himself.

“Fetch for me,” Thorin whispers into his mouth and he fondles his tight sack and it takes Thranduil but a few more strokes to paint his mark onto the Englishman, groaning a slightly higher pitched release until he has to bite down onto the man’s shoulder or he will actually scream out loud.

They lie panting heavily in each other’s arms as the pulse of their forbidden pleasure begins to subside and Thorin is already drifting off into a deep sleep.

Thranduil lies listening to the sound of his lover’s deep regular breathing. And to the subtle noises outside the room. A shuffling. The sound of hastily pulled up trousers. And he smiles at the thought of the boy running off, the heat glowing in his cheeks. He wonders if the teenage boy is a virgin - probably - and thinks it is rather sweet. He snuggles himself closer against Thorin’s warm body, attempting to pull the blankets over the both them but eventually giving up as he too sinks into the land of wonderful dreams.

After Kili returns to the safety of the living room he thinks about what just happened. He feels confused and embarrassed and happy all at once. Nothing like this had ever happened to him before and his body still feels charged with excitement at what he had just heard and what he has just done. He looks down at his hand which is still covered in this sticky mess and finds an old rag to clean himself up with. His body is tingling all over and feels tired now after all the new sensations. He yawns and looks around the room it is only then he realises that Mr Oakenshield had forgot to give him anything to sleep under. He lets out a sigh and grabs his holey coat to use as a blanket.

The sofa is not the most comfortable thing to sleep on and he keeps shifting his position, he ends up with his knees curled up and head tucked into his chest as he clutches his makeshift blanket.

"Night ma," he whispers into the darkness and can feel himself fall into an uneasy sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to indorse = to penetrate, fuck  
> to give caudle = to have anal sex  
> roundmouth = anus  
> to ride the rump = to have anal sex  
> caterwauling = specifically here, prostitutes walking the streets looking for punters  
> to fetch mettle = to masturbate (males only, mettle is semen)  
> to fetch = to come


	11. Mister Thranduil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin and Thranduil written by LadyLuna

When Thorin opens his eyes he immediately regrets it and squeezes them shut again. His brain feels like it is trying to claw its way out of his skull and he swears that the bed is tilting and turning under him. He curses the effect of the liquor under his breath and tries to relax, tries to suppress the gurgling sickness that coils in his stomach. When he finally feels like he might be able to hold in his stomach contents he opens his eyes again and looks at the man sleeping next to him. He smiles softly at the handsome face relaxed in sleep, eyelashes fluttering occasionally, his mouth slightly open. And he feels a flutter of heat as he remembers their joining the evening before. The memory is somewhat blurry and he is unable to distinguish between what was real and what he has enjoyed in his dreams. But regardless he knows they had a good night and already he regrets his lover having to leave again this morning. Of course such is the nature of their relationship and they both know this. And in a way it is fine - they are both strong-willed men and they would probably end up killing each other if they actually lived together. So from that perspective these secret liaisons are perfect - keeping their relationship exciting and sustainable.

 He carefully brushes his hand over the other man’s cheek, twirling his straw blond hair between his fingers, before he decides to chance his steadiness as he rolls himself off the bed.

 He shuffles himself into the kitchen, shivering in his slippers and house coat, although chill is as much from the fact that the fire has gone out as as a result of his hangover. And he feels blessed with the luxuries of his London home as he opens the tap and pushes his hands under the running water, splashing some on his face. Pulling open the cupboards he rummages through the little jars with tiny neat writing on them, screwing up his eyes trying to make them out, but eventually he manages to locate at least the peppermint oil and magnesia and decides that will have to do as he stirs the ingredients into the glass of water.

 With his head still pounding like a drum he walks into the living room, sipping at the hangover cure in the hope that by midday he will actually be able see straight again. As he blinks against the dark in the room, he can make out the shape of the boy on the sofa and he is briefly startled as he had even forgotten the lad lived here now.

 He contemplates switching on the light but decides that that is probably early days in his delicate state and he finds his way in the semi-darkness. The boy is curled up under his worn coat and he realises he had promised him a blanket and had forgotten about it in his eagerness to lay with his lover. Still, the boy seems sound enough asleep.

 He puts the glass on the mantlepiece and reaches out, shaking the lad’s shoulder to try and wake him up.

 The brunet swats out at the sudden movement, "Sod off, ma, just five more minutes," he moans and pulls the coat up over his shoulder.  

Thorin steps back and looks at the teenager, wondering what to do next. He needs the lad to get up and start his duties and the language he’s used makes him blush. He scrapes his throat and tries again. “Wake up, Kili,” he adds this time as he shakes the boy a little rougher.

 Kili slowly begins to open his eyes, and jolts in shock as he looks into the grey eyes that he had only moments before been dreaming about " sir??" He says a little confused and sits up.

 Thorin straightens and looks down on the lad. For a moment a flicker of something stirs his mind, but he cannot quite focus on what it is or why he suddenly feels embarrassed. He flushes as he thinks the boy might have heard him in the bedroom last night and he quickly turns himself away. “Ehm Kili,” he says lowly under his breath, grabbing the glass of tonic again, “about last night …”

 Kili jumps up and can feel himself flush red as the memory's of yesterday come flooding back. "It's.. it's nothing" he says quickly his voice slightly higher. He hopes Mr Oakenshield had not heard him in the corridor and did not know what he had done, fearing he had and would be angry. But all he can think about was those sinful noises he had heard.

 Thorin takes a deep breath and looks at the youngster again, knowing that this is a matter of utmost importance. He feels his cheeks burn as he addresses the boy. “Kili, I need you to understand that it is is important that, well … Thranduil … Mr Boisvert and I … You must not tell anyone. This is very important, Kili,” he adds quickly, repeating himself. “I care a lot about him and if anyone found out … I know it is wrong and well …”

 "It's fine Mr Oakenshield," Kili interrupts grabbing his coat wanting to get out of the room as fast as possible, he couldn't get the images of what he had imagined out of his head and his shaft had already began to stir with interest.

 “Good,” Thorin sighs, “I am glad we have an understanding.” He looks at the boy clutching his coat against himself. “And I am sorry about the blanket,” he adds softly. “I will give you some money to buy some blankets in the market later.” He quickly turns on his heels and makes a quick exit back to his bedchamber.

 Kili lets out a sigh of relief as the older man left the room and removes his coat from covering his excited state and hurries to the kitchen to prepare the master’s breakfast.  

 ***

“Morning,” Thranduil smiles brightly as Thorin enters the bedroom again.

 Thorin flushes at the sight of the blond American splayed out on top of the blanket, making no attempt to maintain his modesty. In the cold and sober light of day Thorin feels rather more uncomfortable with such free display of his lover’s offerings and he quickly turns to the washing table in the corner, making attempt to wash away the remnants of their night together with a wet flannel.

 “I had fun last night,” Thranduil purrs, trying to get the Englishman’s attention.

 Thorin grumbles an acknowledgement and although the American cannot see it, he is smiling.

 Thranduil sighs and gets up. “What is the matter, darling?” he says softly as he wraps his arms around the older man.

 Thorin freezes momentarily under the touch. “Nothing.”

 “Oh come on,” Thranduil moans at the cold response. “Did you not enjoy yourself?” He forces the man to look at him, his eyes greedily scanning the naked body underneath the open chamber coat glistening with water.

 “I did,” Thorin whispers. “I am just worried. Perhaps we should have been more discreet.”

 Thranduil smiles reassuringly, brushing a strand of hair out of his lover’s face. “Are you worried about the boy?” he cocks his head, realising that Thorin appears to have limited recollection of some of the events of the previous night.

 The dark-haired man nods. “I have told him it is important that he does not say anything …”

 Thranduil grabs Thorin’s face and presses a long deep kiss against his lips. “Kili is a good lad,” he sooths. “And I really do not think you need to worry about him telling on us.”

 “I guess you are right,” Thorin smiles softly and he accepts another warm kiss, knowing it will be a while before they get to share it again.

 ***

 “Good morning, young Kili,” Thranduil chirps happily as he walks into the little kitchenette, helping himself to a glass of tapwater.

 "Morning mister" kili replies feeling a little more relaxed as nothing has been said about his involvement in the nights events.  

 Thranduil turns towards the boy and grins widely at him. “Did you sleep well?” he asks casually.

 Kili looks unsure at the man and can see a hint  of amusement. "Fine, thank you, sir," he says politely and can feel himself reddening again, wondering if the man knows what he did in the hall. "And you, sir?" se asks and then suddenly wishes he hadn't.

Thranduil raises a bemused eyebrow at the youngster as he watches the blush deepen. He cannot help himself as he decides to tease the boy some more. “Not bad thank you, master Kili,” he smiles sweetly. “Although I thought I heard some disturbances in the hallway. You did not hear anything, did you?” he winks at the young man.

 Kili nearly drops the glass he is clutching but manages to catch it " no... no mister" he stutters aware that he is currently scarlet and cannot look  the blonde man in the face and begins to brush his hair forward to hide his face from view.  

 Thranduil chuckles softly and decides he has tortured the youngster enough. “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you, Kee,” he smiles, putting his glass down. “I am afraid I have to be off now, but I hope to visit Mr Oakenshield again soon and to sample some more of your delicious cooking. He clasps the boy’s shoulder just briefly on his way out.

When Thorin promptly appears in the lounge he is looking a lot more presentable in his neat suit and with his hair carefully groomed. He still feels delicate and he silently accepts the breakfast offering from the youngster. They avoid conversation for a while until Thorin is finished and he takes out his wallet, honouring his earlier promise. “Here is money for some bedding and to buy food for tonight. I will in my study and I will be out later to collect some important papers.” He hesitates for a moment, before he makes a decision and holds out a key to the boy. “This is the spare key to the chambers. Do not lose it!” he warns.

 Kili can't help but smile at the fact he is being given a little bit of trust "yes master Oakenshield" and takes the key and notes putting them both safely and fetching his coat " good day" he says and leaves the chambers.  

 ***

 He walks along the uneven road towards the Strand, horse drawn carts thundered past him spraying him with mud. as they hurry down the street, with rich gentleman and there ladies sat inside laughing at the dirty boy.

 The first thing he notices is everyone is so well dressed, even in his master's old shirt and slacks he looks out of place and it is made perfectly clear he does not belong among the upper class people and they give him a wide birth.

 " Keep away from him" he hears  a lady warn grabbing and infant girl by the hand who was edging towards him and pulled her in the opposite direction with her eyes narrowing her eyes with disgust.

 Kili begins to scan the market taking in all of the people and notes that even the servants are dressed well and are in pristine clean outfits.

 The closer he gets to the centre of the market the busier it seems to become with people rushing around arms full of purchases. He seems to be getting  less stares, although every now and then he could feel eyes bore into him giving him the once over.

 He walks past a little sheltered  booth with children sat around it laughing and smiling with joy. He then notices two wooden hand puppets speaking in funny accents and finds himself laughing along with the others as a puppet named punch was being beaten with a wooden rolling pin by the female puppet named Judy.

 He stops for a few minutes to enjoy the show, and can feel himself relax, he could almost forget that he didn't belong with these people, when a sneer brings  him crashing  back to reality and he hastily moved away from the show feeling uncomfortable to stay any longer.

 He begins walking through the bitterly cold market, know one else seemed particularly bothered by the harsh temperature, but then they were wrapped in thick trench coats and long leather gloves. Where he had only his thin worn blue coat which gave  no protection against the harsh temperature, and he begins to shiver.

 He walks past a lady with a large wicker baskets and smells the air and can feel his mouth water as he breaths in the delicious smell of freshly made crusty bread.

 He thinks about the money Mr Oakenshield had given him and wonders  if the tight fisted man would miss a little of the change so he could buy himself a warm bread roll, the temptation is too much and he purchases one, and instantly takes a large bite. It tastes soft and warm on the inside but is crusty on the outside and he chews happily and leans against a old stone wall and begins to watch the people of London go about their daily lives.

 He watches as well dressed men of all ages getting out of carriages, carrying papers underneath their arms or smoking pipes, in pristine clean suits the all had one thing in common they all seemed in a hurry rushing down the road pushing other people aside to get to their required destination.

He cant help but compare it to the small town in Sussex, and lets out a sigh he knows he should accept his new life with Mr oakenshield that he should be grateful to have a home over his head and a little money in his pocket but he still can't quite accept it.

 He takes another bite out of the roll then spots a man with a long dark grey coat looking over a book at a stall, he notices a golden  pocket watch  attached to the pocket, he can't help but get a surge of excitement bubble in his stomach and knows it would be worth double what he had saved up in his tin before he brought all the medicine.

 The opportunity is too perfect and he finds  himself deciding the best way to steal it. His usual knocking into the man was out of the question as there was so many people around someone would be bound to see.

 He keeps his eyes trained on the man as he began to browse another stall, he knows if he is going to do this he needs to do it quick and makes a fast  Decision to just swoop in grab the watch and dash out.

 He takes a deep breath and begins to look around checking the area, he is relieved know one seems to be paying any attention to him and he takes his cap off and tucks in his hair into it. He learnt at an early age to keep his long hair out the way. when he had  been younger he had been caught  stealing a cake and the owner had grabbed his hair to stop him running away.

 He edges nearer to the man who holds a decorative walking stick. Kili takes a deep breath then swoops making his move. He walks briskly towards the gentleman.As he picks up speed he can feel  his heartbeat quicken and gets his hand ready. He comes level with the man who is busy looking at what appears to be a dusty old book and sticks his hand into the deep pocket and clasps his hand around the watch, he can't help smiling as he feels the cool face of the precious metals and pulls his hand out of the pocket knowing he has struck lucky.

He feels a vice like grip on his wrist, and panic sets in as he tugs at the hand " let go" he shrills trying to loosen the grip on his wrist but the man is stronger.

 “What do you think you are doing?!” the gentleman says harshly as he turns to look at the thief.

 Kili Instantly recognises the accent and tries harder to pull away, the grasp of the man is too strong and he can feel a sharp pain in his wrist, he brings his other hand up to try and force the man's fingers to release but has no luck.

They stare at each other wide eyed for a moment as recognition dawns on the assaulted man also. “Kili!” he utters in shock. “What do you think you are doing?!” he repeats with a snarl.

 Kili flinches at the man's tone and tries one time to pull himself free but realises he is trapped. "Sorry mister," he whispers looking at the man's painful grip. "Please don't tell my master, sir," he pleads and his free hand runs over his buttocks at the thought of another session with the cane when Mr Oakenshield finds out.

 Thranduil tightens his grip on the boy’s wrist and drags him roughly through the crowd, towards a little alleyway. The youngster continues to struggle admirably, but he is unable to wriggle himself free. The boy’s eyes widen in fear as the tall American forces him to face him as he pushes him against the wall. “Were you trying to steal from me, Kili?” he asks incredulously.

 Kili can feel himself trembling, he is unsure if to tell the truth or lie, he knows the man is waiting for a reply and is unsure what to say. "Please don't tell Mr Oakenshield," he repeats fearfully.

 The American stares hard at the servant boy of his lover, whom he had mere hours ago teased about his indecent behaviour the night before. He loosens his grip a little, but ensures he has enough of a hold so that the boy cannot run off. “This is no game, Kili! This is not some rural town where the local constable might turn a blind eye or give you a slap on the wrist. Do you have any idea what happens to thieves in London?” He shakes the lad by his shoulder with his other hand, emphasizing the point.

 "If he finds out I've been stealing again he will have the skin off my back," Kili whimpers, he can feel tears run down his paled face. " I'm sorry, mister, I didn't know it was you," he whispers and  he tries to look at anything but the man's thunderous face.

“Who? Thorin?” Thranduil shakes his head and forces the boy to look at him. “Your master will be the least of your worries, you stupid lad! If you are caught you will be dragged straight before the magistrate. It is not your master’s punishing hand you need to fear. Here in London they hang thieves for stealing a loaf of bread, let alone a golden watch!” He hopes to God that the seriousness of this stupid trick is getting through to the youngster, whom he had grown quite fond of yesterday.

 Kili can feel a wave of nausea  upon him at the thought of being hanged. " but it was only a watch, I haven't actually hurt anyone" Kili sobs. He wishes now more than ever he had pleaded with the master to have left him at Erebor Hall.

 Thranduil sighs at the dangerous naivety of the lad as he drags him deeper into the abandoned alleyway, away from prying eyes and eavesdroppers. “Kili, listen to me,” he says with the authority he normally reserves for his workers. “Pick-pocketing is only one of over two hundred crimes that would see you on the scaffolds in London and some of those are much more innocent than trying to steal a hard-working man’s property.” He flicks his head around to make sure they are definitely not overheard. “This is a harsh world, lad. Why do you think your master was so anxious for you to keep your silence over him and me, hm?”

 Kili feels frustrated. He hates it when he feels stupid and this man was making him feel like he knew nothing about the world. He meets the man's eyes unsure if to believe what he is saying. Surely not? “But you haven't done anything wrong?" he answers starting to feel less frightened now the tall blonde man had loosened his grip.

 Thranduil feels such sadness suddenly overwhelm him. No, he had not done anything wrong, but such was not the opinion of the state. “Your master is a barrister, Kili. Perhaps you should ask him what happens to those that the states perceives as dangerous to their morality,” he growls, but more in anger at the injustice than at the boy.

 He takes a deep breath and grabs the boy by both shoulders. “Why? Tell me why you tried to steal from me?”

 He can feel himself begin to trust this man, but knows he needs to be careful how he answers him. In truth he had wanted to sell the watch and replace his money, but doesn't want to tell him that in case he starts questioning where he got the money before and decides on a half truth. "Because when Mr Oakenshield decides I'm not worth his time or money I want to have some funds saved up so I can get by, the only person who I meant anything to was taken from me a few weeks ago and I have no-one else but me in this world and I steal to get by," he says hoping the American man would understand.

 Thranduil considers the information overload. Tentatively he releases the boy from his grip, hoping he will not make a dash for it. “Thorin is a good man,” he says calmly. “He just finds it difficult to express himself. He has been alone for a long time and his work is very stressful. But you can trust him. He will not put you out on the streets if you are honest and work hard.” He shakes his head at the youngster. “Promise you will not steal, Kili. If you need anything then just ask your master.” He looks a little closer at the young man. “Has he treated you badly?” he asks carefully. He cannot imagine it, but then again he has never seen any servants in his lover’s home before.

 The brunet pauses and thinks about it. "No. Since I found out about my mother's illness he has been very kind to me," he answers honestly looking into the blonde man's blue eyes.

 Thranduil smiles and puts his arm around the teenager. “Good. Now, why don’t you go and complete the tasks your master has given you. And I will not say anything to him about this incident. Provided that you don’t do anything stupid like this again.” He whispers in the youngster’s ear, “You are asking me to keep a lot of secrets, Kili. You had better not make me regret this.” And he gives the boy a wink and walks off, not looking back, as he thumbs the precious piece of jewellery in his pocket.


	12. Questions

He feels a little more human after his walk in what can hardly be described as “fresh” air, but open air nonetheless. He had gotten some food in his stomach and had managed to pick up the papers for the case of Mr Daniel Gorrie, who was facing the scaffolds for the murder of his colleague. From the quick reading he had done it sounded like an interesting and challenging case although he had concerns over the accused, who did not seem the brightest. He would have to get his clerk to make an appointment in the next few days to speak to the man in prison to hear his version of events.

 After he had picked up the papers from the solicitor’s office he had gone to the Inn’s main hall to speak to some of his older colleagues, where he had tried to make some subtle enquiries about McTavish. And he was rather pleased that after a few referrals, one which had sent him back into Holborn to talk to a retired judge, he had managed to trace the man. As he had expected he was a member of The Honourable Society of Lincoln's Inn at the Borough of Camden. He would probably not get an opportunity to try and visit the man until nearer the end of the week, but at least now he had a lead of where he could find him.

 When he arrives back home towards the end of the afternoon, he finds the door already unlocked, which momentarily confuses and worries him until he remembers he had given the servant boy the spare key. “Kili?” he calls out as he steps into the little hallway.

 Kili walks out of the kitchen covered in flour he had spent the afternoon baking and was not a tidy cook he always seems to get covered in all the ingredients " good afternoon sir" he says in greeting rushing to take the man's coat and hat.

 Thorin looks the brunet up and down and begins to laugh. “What happened to you?”

 " I er baked cherry cake, sir. I'm not the cleanest baker," the brunet admits brushing some of the flour of his shirt." I hope you like it. Ma used to say it was my signature dish," he smiles and looks into the amused eyes of Mr Oakenshield.

 As he draws in his breath through his nostrils the sweet scent of the cake drifts into his nose. “That smells amazing,” he smiles genuinely as he walks after the boy into the living room. Even his delicate stomach rumbles in anticipation of such a treat. He honestly has never eaten better than since the young man started cooking for him. “I will need to start watching my weight at this rate,” he grins, instantly regretting the statement as he eyes up the skinny teenager. He narrows his eyes. “Kili, are _you_ eaten enough?”

 Kili nods. In truth he doesn't  really eat a lot his body has got so used to eating the bare minimum he struggles to keep a big potion down, and since he had been cooking for Mr Oakenshield he has been eating a lot more than he used to.

 Thorin is not convinced. How can anyone eat a decent meal and still look so skinny. “Well, since it is just you and me now,” he says in his deep but soft voice, “why don’t you join me for dinner this evening? At least I can make sure you do eat properly then.”

 Kili hesitates unsure how he feels about this suggestion. He has never really sat down and had a proper meal, he normally just eats quickly then gets on with whatever he is doing. "Okay, sir," he answers, giving the man a nervous smile. "How was your day?" he inquires.

 The older man walks over to the liquor cabinet and pours himself a small glass of brandywine, then thinks better of it and puts the glass back down. “Alright, thank you. I got everything done I needed to do. And you? Did you find the market and get some blankets?” He takes a seat on the sofa and begins to take off his shoes.

 Kili suddenly remembers the events of the day and hopes the blonde man really does keep his promise not to tell Mr Oakenshield. Maybe he already knows he thinks and then dismisses the thought he'd already be In a rage if he did know. "I did, sir, and thank you," he beams then tries to assess the older man's mood and decides to just ask. "Sir, I ... I was wondering ..." Then his courage fails him and he goes silent.

 When the boy does not continue, Thorin looks up from his shoes. After his lover’s ample remarks the day before how he thought Kili was _cute_ he founds himself looking at the lad in a slightly different light than before, trying to see beyond the scruffy hair and the old clothes that are still too big on the boy. As he catches the deep brown eyes he feels a sparkle and it confuses him. He cusses Thranduil silently for putting such thoughts in his head and he pulls himself to order. “Yes, Kili, what were you wondering?”

 Kili swallows and nervously shifts his feet " I was wondering if you might agree to teach me how to read and write sir, I very much enjoyed learning yesterday on the train" he replies quietly unsure of how the master will take the request.

 Thorin finds himself smiling brightly at the boy, surprised by the request. He had expected the boy perhaps to ask him for time off, or a new coat, something more material than this. “Of course,” he says. “I enjoyed that too. And I think you were an excellent student. How about you make us dinner and then we can have a piece of that delicious smelling cherry cake afterwards whilst I teach you the alphabet? Does that sound okay?”

 The brunette feels a massive smile across his face he had not expected Mr Oakenshield to agree to his request servants didn't need to read and write after all just be able to follow orders " Really? Thank you sir I'd like that very much" he babbles full of sudden excited energy and rushes into the kitchen to finish the  stuffed steak he was making for supper.

 The smells coming out of the little kitchenette are making his mouth water and by the time Kili appears with two plates full of food he is starving. He looks at the plate and is taken aback by the presentation. Considering how Kili seems to take so little care of his personal appearance, this would rival the food that had been presented to him in the finest restaurants in the city. He quickly says grace - out of custom drilled into him by his parents and enforced by his father’s cane more than anything else - and tucks into his plate. As he chews on the deliciously soft meat he looks over at the youngster opposite him who nervously picks at his plate, which appears to have barely half of the food that he has been presented with on it.

 He puts his knife and fork down and wipes his mouth with his napkin. “Kili,” he says sternly. “That is hardly enough to feed a mouse. This is delicious. Why have you served yourself so little?”

 Kili looks up startled and looks at his plate compared to his master's " I don't eat a lot sir, never have if I eat too much I feel ill" he admits and continues to play with his food. He knows he will be lucky if he even manages the amount he has on his plate and takes a little mouthful.  

Thorin shakes his head and picks up his cutlery again. “We’ll have to work on that appetite of yours,” he reprimands the boy. “As I have said before, you are no use to me all skin and bones.” Besides, he thinks that the boy would look finer with a little fat on him.

 They eat the rest of the meal in silence and when he finishes he sees that Kili has only just manages to mop up his own plate. “That was incredible,” he smiles at the boy. “You are an exemplary cook.”

 Kili feels himself fill with delight at the praise " thank you sir" he can feel a blush creep up over his face, and reaches out for Mr Oakenshield plate and stacks them up and makes a hurried exit as he can fill his body begin to act unexpectedly again.

 Thorin stares after the boy, who seems to blush at everything he says at the moment. Or is he beginning to imagine things now? He sits back in his chair, feeling contently full up. But more surprisingly he finds that despite the lack of exchange between them it had been pleasant not to dine alone tonight. He misses Thranduil. But even as quiet and nervous as Kili is, he is not unpleasant company.

 Kili turns  the tap on and begins to splash cold water on his face. He does not know how to handle his own body acting so unexpectedly and feels frustration at the sudden urges and Indecent thoughts he has had of late.

 Once he can feel his body begin to cool and relax he cuts off two slices of cake one huge chunk for Mr Oakenshield and a thin sliver for himself and returns back to the dining area.  

 “Good Lord, Kili,” Thorin laughs. “Are you intend on fattening me like a sow?!” But he takes the plate gratefully as the smell of the freshly baked cake is tantalising. He devours the warm cake, crumb falling into his beard and he brushes them off quickly, suddenly aware that he is not acting particularly gentleman-like in the presence of the youth. “That was delicious,” he smiles as he puts down his empty plate and takes a sip from the tea that Kili had made them. Well, he will give the boy his due, he looks after him incredibly well.

 He gets to his feet and disappears towards his study, to reappear moments later with a notebook and his pen and ink. “You will have to learn all the letters of the alphabet first,” he explains to the boy. “And then we can move on to reading and writing.” He lays out the writing instruments on the desk in the corner and invites Kili to come and stand behind him.

 Kili looks curiously at the odd instruments on the table, and then looks at the odd object he had seen on the desk they day before " sir what is that thing" he inquires touching it carefully getting the wire stuck between his fingers and trying to shake them free.  

 As Thorin looks up from his paper at what Kili is referring to, he smiles when he finds him playing with the telephone. “It is called a telephone. It allows me to speak to barristers in the other chambers without seeing them. At a distance. I will show you how it works later, if you want.”

 The brunet feels his eyes widen in awe and nods at Thorin then moves closer so he can see the paper in front of him,  and watches with fascination as the gentleman begins to draw lines that mean nothing to him on the paper.

 “There are twenty-six letters in the alphabet,” Thorin talks whilst he writes them out for Kili in the elaborate script. “Each letter represents a sound. I need you not only to recognise the letter and be able to copy it. But also to know the sound.” And so he begins the lesson with the low-class boy, explaining each letter to him as they go along. Making Kili copy the letter and pronounce it until they have gone through all twenty-six of them, after which he makes him go back and try and remember as many of the sounds as he can.

 Kili can't help but frown as he gets stuck on a letter he just can't put together with the sound " this is an H" the frowns at the paper and suddenly feels a little embarrassed.

 “Kili, you are doing very well,” Thorin encourages the youngster. “Let’s go over it again. You will not remember them all first time round. This is going to take time. Now give it another go.”

 Kili nods and begins to start again with Mr Oakenshield’s encouragement he eventually manages to get all letters right and most of the correct sounds. He can't help but feel a little proud of himself even though he knows he has a long way to go.

 he looks at his master " Mr Oakenshield?" He says unsure how he is going to ask the next question without drawing any suspicion on himself " what is the punishment if someone stole a pocket watch?" He has been unable to get what the American man had said out of his head.

 Thorin narrows his eyes at the youth. "Why?" It is an odd question that is not at all in keeping with the topic of conversation.

 He suddenly wishes he hadn't asked but knows he has no way of a changing the subject now he has " someone in town got caught stealing a golden watches I just wondered what would happen to him sir" he lies forcing himself to remain looking at the gentleman.

 Thorin considers the lad for a moment, not entirely convinced by the story. But he decides to give him the benefit of the doubt. "He'll probably be hanged," he says flatly. "All theft leads to the gallows unless his lawyer can get him off the hook. But for pickpockets that is unlikely. Society has little sympathy for a common thief. "

 Kili can feel all colour drain from his face and realises how lucky he had been to find out it was Mr Oakenshield’s friend. " But what if he was stealing a loaf of bread to feed his family what would happen then?" He asks feeling a little nauseated.

 He eyes the lad suspiciously now. "Kili, "he says sternly. "You got caught stealing before. Is there something you are not telling me? "

 Kili makes sure not to break eye contact knowing if he shifted his gaze Mr Oakenshield would know what he had done instantly " No sir I'm just curious" he replies forcing himself to give him a little innocent smile.

 He decides he doesn't like lying to his master he had never had a problem with lying to anyone before. But knows he cannot face the disappointment in his eyes either.

 Either the boy is an incredibly good liar or he's telling the truth. He spends his entire working life trying to read the truth from people and he likes to think he's pretty good at it. "Good. Don't ever get any ideas you could get away with such foolishness here, " he says harshly to the lad. "Theft is theft. It would make no difference whether it was a watch or a loaf of bread, the boy would a hanged for the crime." He hopes that the message has got through.  "Is there anything else you want to ask me? You appear to have rather a fascination with crime and punishment." He does not mean it unkindly. After all it is his subject of expertise and he could talk about it until the lad would drop dead of boredom.

 "No, sir" Kili answers then quickly changes his mind. "Yes, sir. Why is it against the law for you and your friend to be together when it isn't hurting anyone?  I mean stealing I can understand. But you haven't done anything wrong. I just think it is stupid," he finishes, hoping he hasn't caused the older man any offence.

 The stab deep in his heart is making him feel sick and he lowers his head in embarrassment. He had never expected such an indecent question from a servant boy and he knows he should punish him for his insolence. But the question is put to him so innocently and so kindly that he cannot. Equally he does not know how to respond. He is silent for what feels like hours when in reality it has probably been not even a minute. He cannot bring himself to look the boy in the eye when he eventually answers. "Because it is wrong. Because a man is supposed to be with a woman."

 Kili instantly feels guilty and shuffles uncomfortably  I don't think it is wrong sir, if someone makes you happy it should not matter if they are a man or woman" he confesses and finds himself wrapping his arms around the older man in an embrace.

 He freezes under the touch. If the lad had taken him by surprise previously, he is completely freaked out by this unexpected move. "Th... Thank you, " he stutters as he pushes away the arms and gets to his feet. "That is kind of you, but this is not appropriate." He grabs together his pen and paper and turns to the door. "I wish you goodnight, Kili," he says quickly and makes a dash for the safety of his private chambers.

 Kili can feel the tears in his eyes as Mr Oakenshield hurries out of the room, and curses his stupidity he grabs his new blanket and walks over to the sofa and curls himself up In a small ball under it, and allows his tears to roll down his face.

 He cannot help but feel rejected and suddenly begins to feel that he had been stupid trying to embrace his master and knows he should apologise tomorrow for overstepping his place and vows not to mention this conversation ever again.

 Thorin lies awake for hours. He cannot fathom his feelings. The boy's touch had been so unexpected that it had frightened the life out of him. But now he finds himself longing for that kind embrace. The lad knows nothing of the world of course. They were master and servant. Even if it was not for the obvious fact that they were both men and like his relationship with Thranduil it was wrong and socially and morally unacceptable, their difference in class made all this even more impossible.

 And yet the boy had stirred something inside him. Kili's innocence is something really sweet and attractive.

 In the end his frustrations get the better of him and he angrily yanks the blankets off him and gets dressed again. He throws a furtive glance into the lounge, but Kili appears fast asleep. Quietly he grabs his coat and makes his way out onto th1 midnight streets. The streets are quieter now, but he knows where he'll find the entertainment that will sooth his busy mind. It takes a carriage a mere ten minutes before he is dropped off near the famous pleasure houses of the City and he tips the driver generously for his service as well as his silence.

 The Madam greets him happily, knowing she'll get good custom out of such a rich client. "Do ya seek any’hing special t’night, Mis’er?" she asks in her rough croaked voice in the broad cockney accent.

 A few minutes later Thorin finds himself following a young brunet boy into a small upstairs room. The transaction is straightforward. The boy obligingly pulls down his breeches and places himself on all fours on the bed in the corner, presenting himself matter-of-factly to the gentleman, fingering himself briefly to prepare himself for what is to follow.

 As he goes through the motions to get the satisfaction he has paid generously for to the Madam - and he does not doubt that the boy will not get to see much of it - he can picture in his mind's eye not the young rent boy knelt down before him taking a pounding, but the long haired servant boy that is making him feel so confused. And to his embarrassment and shame it is Kili's name on his lips when he comes hard inside the anonymous rent boy.

 In the carriage back home he feels no less confused and even more embarrassed. And he decides to make his pursuit of Dwalin McTavish his number one priority. For both their sake.

 


	13. The Making of a Gentleman

Kili dishes up the breakfast. He had woken in the night to hear the front door shut. He knows Mr Oakenshield is angry at him and finds himself upset and confused.

 His eyes were sore due to the fact he had cried all night. He doesn't know what he has done wrong and when he had heard Mr Oakenshield leave had felt sheer panic fill him up.

 He didn't understand why his body tingled every time he thought or his master, why he was all he thought about. After Mr Oakenshield had left the lust filled fantasies returned; his prick had hardened to the point of pain and he took himself in hand. He had rubbed himself all over imagining it being the gentleman’s large hands taking the pain away, he came heavy into his hand.

 But instead of the happy feeling he had got before, he felt panic and sadness and curled himself back up under his blanket and sobbed himself to sleep.

 “Kili,” Thorin stops the boy who is making a move to dash back out of the lounge and pulls him out of his thoughts.

 Kili slowly begins to turn back around looking at his feet. He didn't want to look at the man; it just confused him and he didn't want him to see his sore eyes.

 “Where do you think you are going?” the older gentleman says slowly. “Come and eat your breakfast.”

 "I’m not hungry sir," he replies quietly, then turns to leave again. He does not know how to act around the gentleman and fears angering him more.

 “Kili, stop that,” Thorin snaps at him. “You will eat. I am not having this discussion with you again.” He slowly looks up at the boy and sees the pale face and eyes that look like he has been crying. He considers for a moment whether to ask about it, but then decides that right now he does not want to overstep those emotional boundaries with the boy again. Last night had confused him, but he had decided that he just needed to restate where the relationship stood. Kili was his servant and that was that. And soon he would take him to his father as he could carry on with life as he always had. He returns his gaze to his plate and waits for the boy to obey his order.

 Kili walks over to the chair and halts. "I am not hungry, sir," he repeats. The last thing he wants to do is sit in a room with someone that causes him so much confusion.

 He can find himself balling his fists as the teenager continues to argue with him and he slams his fist down on the table, causing the crockery to rattle under the force. “Will you stop arguing with me, boy! Have you forgotten your place so soon?!” he shouts. “Sit down and eat, now!” After everything, the last thing he wants first thing in the morning is to argue with a child.

 Kili has the urge to just walk out the room but doesn't he thinks about his options and eventually sits down and picks up his fork and starts moving his food around his plate.

 Thorin stares hard at the youngster. Well, at least his earlier confusion over his feelings about the boy are settled as they easily fall into a pattern more similar to that of parent and teenage son again - although he would never have dared speak to his father in such a manner either. “You will not leave this table until you have finished that plate,” he snarls, as he takes a mouthful himself. He ignores the evils that the boy is throwing him. When he has finished chewing, he adds, “And once you have done that you are coming into town with me.”

 His rebellion is over taken with curiosity and he takes a small mouthful. "Where are we going, sir?" he asks, looking at the man across the table.

 “To buy you some decent clothes,” Thorin says factually. “You cannot walk around in that around here. And to get you a haircut.”

 Kili can't help feel excited about the prospect of new clothes but hates the idea of a haircut. "A haircut? I like my hair long," he states, then quickly adds a _sir_ on the end.

 Thorin narrows his eyes, realising this is going to be another battle of wills. “I don’t,” he says coolly. “And since you work for me, you will have your hair cut,” he says with finality. He has no intention of getting into another discussion with the boy.

 Kili begins to stab at his food and takes angry mouthfuls whilst glaring at the older man. He knows it is childish, but he is beyond caring. He had tried to be nice last night and it had angered the man and so he decides it is best just to stay quiet.

 Thorin tries to suppress a smirk as the teenager attempts to defy him by eating his breakfast in anger, but for the moment he's more concerned _that_ the boy eats than how. "Before we go into town," he says when most of the storm seems to have passed, "I want you to take a bath. I have some clean clothes you can wear for now."

 Kili continues to glare at the man "Yes, sir," he moodily answers. He wants to argue  but thinks better of it knowing it is better just to do as the man asks rather than face his temper at being questioned.  

 They eat the rest of the breakfast in silence and come the end of it both are equally keen to get up and be away from the other. “Follow me,” Thorin orders the boy to show him what he needs him to do next. He strides into the hallway and pushes open the door his bedchamber.

 The brunet hesitates when the door is opened. His ma had always told him that servants were never permitted to enter the master’s bed chamber unless invited and he stares at Mr Oakenshield in shock and stops abruptly.

 “Kili,” Thorin barks at him. “Get in here.” He stands in front of the smaller fireplace, before which stands a cast iron roll top bath. “You will have to carry the water through from the kitchen. They have not yet laid the plumbing to the baths,” Thorin explains to the boy who hovers nervously in the doorway. “There is a bucket underneath the sink and you will have to boil the water on the stove. Make sure it is not too hot. Call me when it is ready. You will bathe after me.” He looks at the boy’s flushed face. “Any questions?”

 Kili looks at the metal tub with his mouth open a little thinking how many trips it will take to fill the bath up and he is just about to say this when he thinks better of it. He shuts his mouth and forces himself not to glare at the older man. "No, master Oakenshield," he replies," and leaves the room grumbling under his breath.

 He begins to take bucket after bucket into the bed chambers, glaring at the master’s back as he sat on the sofa with his feet up reading his papers. He spills half of the contents of the bucket down his top but ignores it as he continued to lug bucket after bucket through to the tub. When it is full he marches up to his master. "It is ready, sir," he says, trying to keep his annoyance out of his voice.

 The older gentleman looks up from his papers. “Thank you,” he smiles and he puts away the casework into his briefcase and gets to his feet. “I will call you when I am done,” he brushes past the brunet boy and he closes the door of the bedchamber behind him.

 Kili curls up on the sofa unsure what to do and runs his fingers through his wild hair dreading the haircut. He grabs his blanket and covers himself up feeling a slight chill then reaches for his tin and pulls out the piece of paper with the alphabet on and starts to practise his letters.

 "Kili!" comes the call from the bedchamber after a while.

 Kili puts the paper back into the tin and slides it under the sofa, then slowly walks to the bedchamber. He has never had a warm bath inside; he usually just went to the nearest pond or lake and feels a little nervous. Yes sir?" Kili stops at the door.

 His master is dressed in his chamber coat and is rubbing a coarse towel though his hair. He hands the boy a towel and a bar of soap. "You may want to add a little extra hot water," he says. "And make sure you scrub yourself well."

 Kili looks at the bath with worry. " I've never had a bath inside before," he admits, turning the soap over in his hand nervously. "And certainly not with hot water," he adds, sticking his hand in the bath and running it through the water.

 Thorin stops and turns back to the boy, who stands bend over the tub and slowly drags his fingers through the water. Suddenly a primal urge creeps up on him as his gaze slides over the sleek form of the youngster. He knows he is completely out of order as he says it, but then again the youngster will shortly be leaving him to go and live with his dad. And he finds that the boy’s total innocence and lack of experience of just about anything is something really sweet and really attractive. “Why don’t you get in and I will boil some more water,” he says thickly, regretting it almost as soon as he has said it. _Damn it, Thorin, he is supposed to be your servant! What message do you think that sends out?_ But to his relief the boy does not seem disturbed by it.

 Kili looks at  Mr Oakenshield a little surprised but can't help smile. Maybe this means the older man Is no longer angry at him. "Thank you, sir," he replies giving him a little smile and starts to unbutton his shirt.  

 His heart is thumping in his chest as Thorin waits for the water to heat up. He bites the inside of his lip as he tries to calm himself down, knowing that this is so inappropriate and perverted. Once more he blames his lover for putting such thoughts in his head. _Nothing can happen_ , he reminds himself sternly. _No, but there is no harm in looking. He is your servant, you are allowed to look - inspect the goods and all that_. He laughs softly at himself and his wayward justification. _You complete idiot!_ He quickly takes the copper kettle before it starts to boil and slowly walks back towards his bedchamber. As he pushes open the door his mouth feels dry and for a moment he hesitates, almost losing his nerve as he is about to overstep all decency. But he pulls down his mask of professional stoicism as he enters the room.

 Kili allows himself to relax. The warm water instantly makes him feel a little tired and he closes his eyes and lowers his hair into the water. He thinks of Mr Oakenshield and can feel blood rushing to his prick. He hears the door open and instantly sits up straighter making sure his parts are fully covered and can feel a flush spread over his face. _Not now,_ he thinks to himself   

 Thorin scrapes his throat, warning the youngster of his presence. “I …” he whispers, trying to find his voice again as he takes in the picture of the young man in his private bathtub, his head resting back against the edge, his long hair falling in wet strands across his face. “I brought you some more hot water,” he says more clearly this time, but his voice is thick with desire. _Stop it,_ he reprimands himself silently again. _If you cannot handle this appropriately, then turn around now_.

 The brunet gives him a little awkward smile, hoping the man hadn't noticed the way he had stiffened as he had entered the room. "Yes please, sir," he replies, his voice a little higher than normal. He wishes for his face to return back to normal colour but as the older gentleman nears his breath begins hitch and he can feel his body reacting to the man and tries to hide himself more in the water.

 Thorin is grateful for the dim electric lighting in the room as the curtains are still drawn, which will at least hide the colouring of his cheeks against the soft glow. “Just tell me when the temperature is comfortable,” he says, finally back in control of his voice, although the rest of his body seems to revolt against his attempt to keep this proper. He tries to keep his eyes trained on the water spilling from the bucket, but he cannot help those wandering glances over the youth’s body under the water. He can see Kili is protecting his modesty from view, but nonetheless there is enough there to stir the imagination and he struggles and begins to lose his battle not to be turned on by the sight before him.

 Kili sits bolt upright, afraid to move too much and watches the older man pour the water. "That's fine thank you, sir," he gushes.

 “You're welcome,” Thorin coughs as he feels the strain stirring against his chamber coat, knowing that this is not the most modest of dress to hide his indecency. “If you have all you need, I will leave you to it.”

 Kili nods and watches the master leave hurriedly, then relaxes his body again. He begins  scrubbing at this body, feeling the layers of dirt  wash away and his muscles begin to relax. After he has finished washing he sits in the bath for a few more minutes just enjoying the warmth run over his skin.

 Eventually he reluctantly gets out the bath and gets himself dressed into the clean clothes Mr Oakenshield had put on the bed for him.

 He walks down the corridor and enters the living room to find the gentleman sat at his desk dressed in his usual smart attire.

 "I've finished, sir," he states walking up to the desk and watching the well-dressed man as he finishes writing. _I am never going to be able to write that quick,_ he thinks and begins fiddling with his wet hair.

 Thorin glances up at the boy, feeling calmer now that they are both dressed appropriately again, and smiles approvingly at him. “Much better already,” he says as he puts down his pen. It is remarkable the difference it has made, seeing the boy clean and in some nice clothes, even if they do not quite fit him. To his surprise it has actually matured him a little, no longer hidden under the layers of dirt and scruffy clothes. “Wait here a moment,” he orders the young man and when he returns he holds out one of his old coats to him. “We will buy you a decent one later, but for now you can wear this.”

 Kili looks at the nice looking black pristine coat and gratefully accepts. “That's kind, sir, thank you," he says slipping it over the shirt. He instantly begins to snuggle into the collar, and he realises how worn his old one really is as he looks at it hung on a hook _it looks more like a rag_ he thinks to himself and is instantly glad of the warmth of the borrowed coat.

 They walk down to the Strand in silence the wind is howling and Kili wras his coat around him tightly. As they get into to town Thorin leads them over to a carriage to take them across London.

 Kili can't help but look out the window at all the sights as they whizz past. The city is bustling with people. They pass a huge fountain with an angel on top and Kili is in awe at all the people sat around it. Various other statues decorate the route and he spots a huge metal one of four horses and wonders how many people it took to carry it here. Next his eye falls on a huge iron gate with decorative golden tops and swirls in the gate, behind which he can see nothing but trees and flowers. And he thinks it seems odd to have such a huge area of wildlife in the middle of the city surrounded by tall dirty buildings.

 The journey seem to continue forever and the brunet looks out of the window at the wonders of London, amazed by how enormous the city appears to be. He just begins to wonder how much further the city stretches on for when they stop outside a huge building.

 Kili looks around and can see lots of well-dressed ladies in the finest frocks and gentleman with tall hats and decorative canes. He turns to face Mr Oakenshield. "Sir, what is this place?" he asks eyeing up the well-dressed upper class nervously.

 “This is Harrod’s, Kili,” Thorin smiles kindly. “This is where we are going to buy you some decent clothes.” He quickly settles the bill with the driver and turns to the youngster. “Come on,” he spurs on the boy who stares up at the magnificent building in awe. “Follow me.”

 As they enter the brunet takes in everything from all the different types of tea he never knew existed to posh looking candies which  we're of different colours and shapes. He can smells a sugary sweet scent, and can't help himself from turning his head from left to right so he can take in everything  "This is a shop?!" he utters in disbelief. It looks more like a palace, he thinks. Even Erebor Hall is dwarfed by the size of it. He picks up an odd looking glass bowl and starts inspecting it.

 Thorin’s heart stops as he sees the youngster pick up a one of the ornate crystal bowls. “Kili,” he tries to sound calm, not wishing to startle him in fear of him dropping the item to the floor. “Please put that down.”

 Kili looks at Mr Oakenshield’s panicked look and puts the bowl down slowly " is it valuable sir?" Kili asks looking it over curiously with his eyes.

 His master swallows hard as he watches the boy replace the item on the display stand. “Let’s just say it would take you a couple of years to work off your debt if you broke it.”

 Kili begins to back away slowly with his eyes wide then he turns to the well-dressed gentleman. “Mr Oakenshield I have been working for you for over a month and I... I was wondering if I would be getting my pay rise sir?" He asks nervously.

 He watches Mr Oakenshield’s eyes bulge at the audacity of the question and for a moment he think he might have set off the man’s short fuse again. But then Thorin begins to laugh. “You really have not the faintest idea of common decency, do you?” Equally, he think he himself seems to have lost his grip on that recently. “We will talk about that later,” he steers the boy towards the lifts.

 “What floor, sir?” the liftboy in his dark green suit with the brightly polished brass buttons asks politely and Thorin requests the first floor for youth’s clothing.

 Kili looks around the little square room as they get in to it it has a clear wall and marble floor with a rug on it. "Sir, what is.." But stops abruptly and lets out a little scream as it begins to move and grabs hold of Mr Oakenshield’s arm panicking.

 Thorin flushes under the touch and his instinct is to swat the hand away. But then he thinks how weird and scary this must be to someone who had not that long ago had never seen a train before. And he tentatively places his gloves hand over the boy’s. “It is fine, Kili. It is just a lift. It will take us up to the next floor.”

 "But it's moving. How is it moving?" He asks his voice slightly higher and he squeezes his eyes shut willing it to stop.

 The lift-boy, who cannot be much older than twelve, maybe thirteen, softly sniggers at the older boy, but one reprimanding look from the gentleman makes him quickly bow his head as his cheeks flush red. “First floor, sir,” he says as he pulls open the doors for the gentleman and what he assumes is his son.

 “Come, Kili,” Thorin gently pries the hand lose from his arm and he strides ahead of the youngster onto the first floor department. He walks straight up to one of the well-dressed employees who greets him with a bow, instantly recognising the barrister who shops here regularly. “Good day Mr Oakenshield. How may I assist you today?”

 Thorin turns back towards Kili who stands swaying on his feet a couple of feet behind him. “Kili, come here,” he barks at him.

 The brunet still feels a little uneasy and like he may vomit. He slowly approaches his master, taking deep breaths to try and calm his breathing. "Yes, sir," he says quietly.

 He is pushed forward by Mr Oakenshield’s large hand and forced to look up at the man who he cannot yet work out whether he is another gentleman or a store employee - everyone looks so dressed up here it is hard to tell. “I need the boy dressed in some well-fitting clothes,” Thorin talks over his head. “Trousers, shirts, hosiery, the lot. Something that would befit a gentleman’s son.”

 Kili looks up at the gentleman with a confused look. _Gentleman's son?_ Surely he has heard wrong. It Is only then he looks around the store and realises the type of clothing on display; it is all of the finest material and quality, not the clothing of a servant boy. "Mr Oakenshield this is very kind of you but …" he begins looking into the man's shining grey eyes.

 Thorin coughs loudly, interrupting Kili’s chattermouth. “Be quiet,” he snarls at him, slapping the back of his hand against the boy’s cheek. He rolls his eyes at the Harrod’s employee who raises his eyebrows at the gentleman, shocked that the youngster had dared speak without invitation by his elder. “The boy is my nephew,” he lies. “Clearly my sister - bless her soul, she passed away recently - struggled to teach the boy the manners we are used to here in London.” He scowls at Kili, who is rubbing his cheek in shock. “I will be back in say an hour?”

 The other man gives an unsure smile, but nods. “Of course, Mr Oakenshield.” Then he smiles more broadly. “I will turn him into a fine young man.”

 Kili looks at Mr Oakenshield feeling very confused as he is led away from him into another room.

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin written by LadyLuna  
> Kili and Dwalin written by witchesdelite

He hurriedly makes his way towards Kensington Gardens, knowing he's already running late. Then again he does not even know if the other man will even be there. He had only managed to send his clerk to McTavish's chambers with an invitation early that morning so it was very likely that the other was otherwise occupied. As he walks into the Orangery tea house he is surprised to find it busy but with the chill outside he can hardly blame people for looking for a bit of warmth and comfort here before they carry on with their business. He scans the crowded room and just as he is about to conclude that Mr McTavish is not here he spots the tall, broad man sat in the far corner, reading today's paper. He takes a deep breath bracing himself for what will undoubtedly be an unpleasant conversation and walks over.

The Scottish man looks up from his newspaper as he hears footsteps approaching and looks into the tall man's face " You are late, sir. I cannot abide lateness. I suggest you buy yourself a pocket watch," he snaps irritated that his precious time is being wasted. He puts his newspaper down on the Bench and takes out a pipe.

Thorin bites the inside of his lip to the point of tasting blood as he tries to suppress the urge to wallop the man. He pulls out a chair and takes a seat opposite the other barrister. “And a good day to you, Mr McTavish,” he says coolly. “Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to agree to meet me,” he adds with forced politeness.

The big Scottish man just glares at the dark haired gentleman " so what is it you have dragged me across town for Mr Oakenshield?" He asks forcing himself to keep some form of politeness towards his fellow barrister.

He decides not to twist around the subject, knowing both their time is precious and he expects the man to appreciate him to cut to the chase as he does himself; it is a trait of their profession. “My housekeeper passed away recently. She worked for me and my family for years. But I understand that before she came to Erebor Hall she worked for you, sir. Her name was Dis.” He looks closely at the cool clear eyes of the slightly older man, gauging his reaction.

He is startled at the mention of his ex-mistress, he had thought that she would end up in the gutter where she belonged "Aye I knew the wench, she used to whore herself out for a little change," he finishes nastily and lights up his pipe.

Thorin raises his eyebrows in surprise as the crude acknowledgement. He had expected the man to deny the woman’s existence and had been ready to offer him a gentle reminder, but clearly that is obsolete. He shifts uncomfortably for a moment, feeling distinctly uneasy around the Scot. “Well, I understood that was asked to leave your household staff when she was found to be with child.”

The Scotsman narrows his eyes at him when he mentions his so called child. When he had found out he had told her to leave and never come back or he would kick the child out of her. He eyes the tall man suspiciously. "Yes she was. What is your point, sir?" He snaps feeling his temper begin to rise.

“I am sure, Mr McTavish,” he bends himself forward a little and makes an obvious scan of the room, “that you do not wish me to spell it out for you in this open forum.” He watches with a little smugness as he can see the subtle shift in the man’s face. “The boy has no-one else in the world. His mother asked me to bring him to London before she died. She asked me to find you. Now she was not stupid, she did not expect you to welcome him into your family with open arms. All she asked if that you would consider giving him a roof over his head. He is a good worker. I am sure a man like you always has a place for a honest, hard-working lad in your household.” _Okay, the honesty bit was debatable, but he was not going to advise the man of that_.

He can feel himself bubble with anger at the younger man's words and wants to rage at him " how do you know the little bastard is mine Mr Oakenshield?" he asked with a smug self-satisfied expression on his face knowing there was no way to prove he was either way.

“To be honest, sir,” Thorin smiles, knowing the man is losing his cool arrogance, “I do not really care whether he is or not. But I do not have a job for the boy. So my proposal is that I introduce him to you tomorrow. So you can assess whether the boy will be any use as a member of your staff.” He feels a churning in his stomach as he says it and he feels like he is selling Kili out like a horse at market. But he knows it is the only way he will get the man to consider the offer and have a chance at fulfilling Dis’ dying wish.

The Scottish man can feel his temple pulsing with anger. How dare this man tell him what he will do. His fists are balled and his knuckles are white where he has them fisted so tight. “Does it have a name?" He thunders narrowing his eyes at the smugness of the man “And what age is the brat?" He spits. Knowing he doesn't really have a choice. If this became public he would be the laughing stock of London and he cannot risk his reputation he has spent years building up and begins grinding his teeth.

“He does indeed. His name is Kili and he is fifteen years old.” Clearly the conception of his son has had not left a lasting impression on the man and the way he talks about Kili is sending angry pulses through him. He very much wants to just get up and till this asshole to piss off and let Kili live with him. But he knows he has no right. The lad’s mother had asked him to find his father and ask the man to offer her son a job and he had made her a promise. And once Kili becomes part of the servant staff in the man’s household it will not matter that the man is an arrogant prick. He will have hardly any dealings with him as a lower servant, but hopefully there will be other servants that can be a family to Kili. He knows it is not healthy for the boy to live with a man more than twice his age who has inappropriate feelings towards him. “So, will you agree to meet him?” he asks reluctantly.

He chews over the situation carefully, trying to find a way out of his predicament as the slightly younger man just watches him. "Fine, I will meet the boy," he says eventually, cursing himself for not being more choosy with who he has laid with over the years. "But not here," he hisses looking around the crowded room.

“That is fine. You tell me where and what time and I will bring Kili along. He is a good boy, Mr McTavish. And he is very clever. He is even learning to read and write.” He lowers his voice a little as he cannot help the little prod. “He must take after his father,” he gives the man a wink, before he pushes back his chair. “Send a message to my clerk,” he nods to the man and he turns on his heels and leaves the tearoom.

He takes long strides back towards the large high-end store, glad to be away from Mr McTavish. He knows he is not the easiest of people to get along with at times, but he feels remarkably sociable compared to the man he has just had a conversation with. And as he thinks about Kili he feels a little stab of sadness that the boy may soon be leaving his home to live with this man. _Stop it,_ he reprimands himself. _You know it is the right thing and this is not the time to be selfish over a boy you hardly know and have no ties with other than his dead mother_. Still, deep in his stomach he feels an uncomfortable knot at the prospect.

He decides to take the stairs this time as he makes his way to the first floor, partly to buy himself a little time to think about what he is going to say to the lad about meeting his father.

As he pushes open the large doors with the lead windows he immediately spots the youngster, although if it was not for the hair he would not have recognised him. He feels a broad smile appear on his face as he watches the young man look himself up and down in a large mirror, dressed in a fine dark blue suit. And he cannot help but think Kili looks very handsome as he twists himself this way and that to try and look at himself from all angles. “A proper gentleman indeed,” he says softly, startling the youngster out of his concentration.

Kili looks at Mr Oakenshield. "I feel weird, overdressed," he says  shifting uncomfortably. "Sir, why do I have to wear a suit? I mean it is nice, but I can't do my work in this," he says taking off the suit jacket.

Thorin considers the youngster, admiring the result. He had wondered whether it was the right thing to do. Kili was right, this was not the type of clothing he would be able to wear as a servant, but he somehow found he wanted to present Kili is the best possible light, hoping that if his father could see him as a young gentleman rather than a scruffy servant boy he might possibly be more inclined to accept him. “You look very nice, Kili,” he compliments him, avoiding the inevitable subject for a little longer.

“I hope you approve, Mr Oakenshield,” the Harrod’s employee walks up to them.

And Thorin smiles. “Very much so. Thank you for your efforts.” He shakes hands and then leads Kili to the staircase, thinking he might not enjoy another trip in the lift. He will get his clerk to settle his bill later. “Up,” he orders the boy, guiding the youngster up the grand staircase.

He does as he and allows himself to be guided up the red carpeted stairs, feeling a little uneasy. But finds he is happy with the praise from his master and starts to feel a little more comfortable and confident, like he belongs amongst the wealthy. He catches sight of himself in the mirror and smiles at himself thinking his mother would be proud to call him her son.

“In there,” Thorin points at the door when they reach the fifth floor and waits for Kili to hold the door open for him. He knows he is in for a battle now and he makes sure to position himself behind Kili as soon as the youngster has followed him in, and places his hands on his shoulders as he smiles as the man who walks up to greet them.

“Mr Oakenshield,” the barber holds out his hand and Thorin accepts the handshake across Kili’s shoulder. “A cut and trim today, sir?”

“Not for me,” Thorin smiles and pushes Kili forward a step.

The brunet tries to pull away from Mr Oakenshield who holds on tighter and he puts his hands on his head so no-one can touch his hair. "Please, sir, I'll keep it tied up, I promise. Please don't let him cut my hair!" he begs trying to pull away again.

The barber looks at the youngster with amusement. This is not the first rebellious teenager he has had in his salon. “Come on now, lad,” he smiles kindly, his well-oiled moustache bouncing up. “It won’t be that bad.” He walks over to one of the big chairs and Thorin pushes Kili in this right direction, keeping a tight grip on him.

"Please sir, don't. I promise I will keep it clean. I've always had long hair," he panics trying to turn towards the stairs, but gets turned back straight away and he looks into Mr Oakenshield’s eyes. "I don't want my hair cut," he pleads with wide eyes.

Thorin sighs deeply and is grateful for the assist as it takes both men to wrestle the teenager into the chair. “Kili, stop it,” he snaps. “You are getting your hair cut and that is the end of it.”

Kili wiggles trying to get out of the chair but Mr Oakenshield keeps a firm grip on his shoulders and he eventually stills giving into the fact that he will not win and squeezes his eyes shut daring not to look

“There, all done, my lad,” the barber states chirpily after what feels like an eternity. He taps the boy on the shoulder, encouraging him to look into the mirror as he holds another up behind him to show him the back. “Well?”

“I think it is perfect,” Thorin smiles contently.

Kili continues to keep his eyes shut not wanting to look he puts his hands up to his head and feels how short it is and dread creeps over his body.

“Come on, Kili,” Thorin states impatiently as the barber removes the protective cover that has caught a lot of Kili’s thick brown locks, which subsequently fall to the floor. “It is done now. Stop playing silly games and get to your feet.”

Kili reluctantly gets to his feet and looks in the mirror and is shocked by the person looking back at him. It doesn't look anything like him and he begins to touch his hair. _That cannot be me he thinks_ looking in the mirror " I look smart " he states beginning to smile and moves so he can see his hair at all angles.

“You do,” the barber agrees proudly.

 _You look beautiful_ , Thorin thinks thickly. He is as amazed by the transformation as Kili is. This is a completely different person beaming at himself in the mirror. Not longer a scruffy teenager. But a handsome, well-dressed young man. “Thank you,” he nods to the barber and quickly turns towards the staircase. “Come, Kili,” he barks his usual order as he begins to walk away. He knows they have done a spectacular job turning Kili into the gentleman’s son as requested. But it makes his decision to let Kili go in order to honour his promise to Dis all the more difficult.

He takes the stairs down at a rapid pace as he can hear the teenager speeding up behind him to keep up.

Kili practically runs to catch up with his master. “Sir, can I ask again why I am dressed like a gentleman?” He asks trying to catch his breath.

Thorin stops so abruptly that Kili almost crashes into him. He had intended to have this conversation once they returned home and he probably should still wait and stick to his original plan. But he finds himself saying to Kili, “Because you are going to meet your father.”

Kili stops dead  and can feel fury sweep over him, his blood is bubbling and he looks up at the older man's face "no" he growls. He hated his father for never being there for his mother and himself and the last thing he was going to do was meet the man that had turned his back on him. He felt betrayal set in as well as the pure anger, betrayal that his master who he thought he could trust had contacted the man he least wants to meet. He just glares into the grey eyes defiantly.

They stare at each other for a moment and Thorin regrets his blurting out of the sensitive matter. It's not like him. More than anyone he knows when to speak and when to hold his tongue and he feels annoyed with himself. He places a hand on Kili's shoulder trying to calm the young man down. "Let us go and have a cup of tea and we'll talk about it,"he attempts a kind smile at him.

Kili thinks about arguing he wants to bellow at him and opens his mouth to do so, but then rethinks it and eventually nods “Okay, but I won't meet him" he snaps and allows himself once again to be guided down the stairs.

Looking closely at the young man who stares angrily at the cup of tea that has been put in front of him, he feels a pang of guilt. "Kili, there is something you should know, " be begins, knowing that this is how he should have started this conversation in the first place. ”When your mother asked to speak to me, just before she passed away, she made me make a promise to her. She asked me to take you London with me so that you could find your dad. She hoped that he would give you a job she somewhere to live. And that is why I brought you with me after she died. "

Kili glares into the man's face. "So you lied to me? You brought me to a place I don't know under a lie?" he states trying to keep his voice level " you don't want me? you never wanted me here, damn it I really was right I really am alone, well I won't meet him sir as far as I'm concerned I have only one parent and she died" he can feel angry tears run down his cheeks and wipes them away with the back of his hands.

Thorin can feel himself flush at the outburst. "I did not lie to you and do not forget your place, at the moment I am still your master! " he growls low in his throat glaring back at Kili. But the tears soften his anger a little. "Look here. I met Mr McTavish today to tell him about you. I told him how hard a worker you are and how you are even learning to read and write. He says he wants to meet you tomorrow. " _Okay, ‘want’ may be a strong word. "_ All I am asking at the moment is that you come with me to meet your father. As your mother wanted you to."

The brunet looks down at his hands and can feel his anger turn into hurt. He liked working for Mr Oakenshield. Sure he had a temper but he could also be a kind man and he thought the man was beginning to like him too. "But why can't I just stay with you?" he asks quietly then suddenly misses his hair he wants to hid his face from view to hide the tears rolling down his face, but can't so settles for looking at the cup with dregs of tea in it.

The older man swallows hard. The last thing he had expected was that question; he did not think Kili wanted to stay with him if he had a choice. "Kili, your mother entrusted you, her only son, with me so that I would take you to your father." He lowers his voice a little as he continues. “Besides, it is not appropriate for you to live alone with a man … like me.” He wants to look away, but he forces himself to look at Kili. He wants him to see that it has absolutely nothing to do with him not being wanted. Quite the contrary. He is trying to do what is best for Kili, regardless and in spite of what he wants to do.

He looks up at Mr Oakenshield. "Sir, what is this Mr McTavish like?" He asks wanting to at least know something about this stranger before they meet.

“Well,” Thorin begins carefully, considering what to tell Kili. He decides that it is only fair that the youngster gets a chance to make up his own mind, regardless of what  Thorin thinks of the man, “he is a barrister, like myself. He is probably a few years older than me. He is originally from Scotland. Do you know where Scotland is, Kili?”

"No sir,"  he replies truthfully and begins to fiddle with  his new shirt suddenly wishing he was back in his old worn clothes rather than the smart ones Mr Oakenshield had insisted on.

“Scotland is a country far North from here,” Thorin explains. “Much much further away than Erebor Hall is. And that means, Kili, that you are half-Scottish too.”

Kili tries to look happy about this but all he can feel is sadness about leaving Mr Oakenshield and he began to look at his feet. “But what if Mr McTavish does like me or I don't like him? Can I come back to you if it doesn't work out?” he asks unable to look the man in the eyes.

Thorin smiles and he feels a warmth spread inside him at the thought that the young man who at times seems to hate him, would choose to return to him if things did not work out with his dad. But he reminds himself of what is most important here. “If,” he stressed, “there is a problems, then of course you can come back to me.” But he hastily adds, “But I am sure there won’t be. Because you will work really hard and be a good and honest, lad. And you will be just fine, living with Mr McTavish and his other servants. You do understand that, don’t you Kili? That although he is your father, you were born out of wedlock. No-one can know that you are his son. Mr McTavish is very kind to take you into his household.” _If indeed he does…_

Kili feels a sudden burst of anger explode inside him aimed at this Mr McTavish.  "I have never needed a father and never will," he says bitterly. "I'm not going to pretend I want to go with him, because I don't. I would rather stay with you. But If that's what my ma wanted that's what I will do," he finishes looking Mr Oakenshield in the face.

Thorin nods, content that this is more than he could have expected from the youngster. “At times you can be remarkably sensible,” he compliments him in an odd way. And with a slight and almost unnoticeably blush in his cheeks he adds. “And you do look very nice with your new clothes and your new haircut.” He sits himself up a little straighter. “What would you like to eat tonight?” he quickly changes the subject.

Kili shrugs "Don't know, sir," he replies trying to sound normal but feeling deeply miserable. If truth be told he isn't hungry and just wants to go home - _Mr Oakenshield’s home,_  he corrects himself - but knows his master will insist he eats.  

Cocking his head slightly at the sad look on the youngster’s face, Thorin makes a decision. He has tried to force Kili into his world and soon he will be leaving him. But perhaps tonight, what could well be their last night together, he can come down to Kili’s level for a once off. “How about,” he smiles, feeling hurt at seeing the sadness and worry in the youngster’s face, “we go home, put on something more comfortable and less formal and I will take you to the Eastside to get something to eat that I am sure you are going to enjoy.”

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by LadyLuna

The carriage journey home was a quiet one, kili still felt a little hurt and betrayed but had tried not to show his pain. He finds himself sat quietly on the sofa lost in thought about the days events.

He had gone to take out his letters to practice again but hastily put them away thinking it pointless, he had been so excited to learn to read and write and committed and now felt his enthusiasm dissolve. He had a cup of tea in his hand and felt himself stare into space.

He was so lost in his thoughts he did not hear his master re enter the room. 

Thorin stops in the doorway, looking at the young man sat on his sofa, looking so different to the lad that had left his chambers this morning. And he feels a sadness in his heart both for Kili and for himself as he looks at the defeated posture of the youngster. 

“Kili,” he says, watching the boy jump as he startles him. “Do you want to get changed into something more comfortable?”

The brunet looks down at his smart clothes, he had felt good in his new clothes until a few hours ago and now he just felt like a kid playing dress up, he didn't belong in smart clothes, but also wants to feel like he belonged in the same world as Mr Oakenshield for just a little longer " no sir I'll stay in this if that is ok sir? He asks quietly 

He raises a surprised eyebrow at the teenager who had put up such a fuss before when he had tried to make him wear something nice. “Yes … why, of course …” Thorin stutters. “But don’t get any food on it,” he warns him. “In that case are you ready to go out to get something to eat?”

Kili looked up at his master and found himself smile. "Yes, sir, I am ready," he says standing up and slipping on his shoes. "What food are we having, sir?" he asks a little curious and he wonders what Eastside was. 

“You will see,” Thorin smiles secretively, hoping that Kili will enjoy the surprise. Then he looks over at the tin hastily shoved under the sofa. “Were you practising your letters, Kili?” he asks.

Kili shrugs " no point sir Mr McTavish probably won't care if his servants can read or write, sir" he states grabbing his new coat of the rack not looking the tall man in the eyes. But Thorin stops him as he tries to brush past, grabbing his arm and forcing him to look at him.

“And you?”

Kili looks at the man a little confused " And me what?" He asks looking into the man's gorgeous smokey grey eyes. 

“Do you care whether you can read and write?” Thorin says sternly, crossing his arms as he looks closely at Kili.

Kili shrugs again " doesn't matter if I care I am a servant sir, I will do as i am told" he replies and starts doing the buttons up on his thick coat. 

Thorin feels a stab in his heart as Kili seems to have given up on everything he had shown him such enthusiasm for. He knows the lad cares and he will not have him give up so easily. To both their surprise he grabs Kili’s chin and forces him to look up at him. “I will not have it, Kili,” he says calmly but with his usual authority. “You have worked so hard and I will not have you give up that easily on something that I know you enjoyed and that you can do if you put your mind to it. You are a servant here too and it matters not. You can still learn. And if Mr McTavish will not teach you, I will.” He lets go of the lad’s face as he can feel his own flush. He swallows thickly. “Will you do that, Kili? Will you come and visit me on your days off and allow me to continue to teach you?”

Kili looks into the man's eyes and finds himself nodding " I'd like that sir, very much" he smiles. He can feel himself beginning to feel close to Mr Oakenshield, was beginning to feel more than just master and servant and finds it both exciting and terrifying at the same time. 

Thorin feels himself smiling brightly at Kili. “Good,” he nods, clasping his shoulder briefly. “Now that is settled, how about some food.” He steers the young man out of the lounge towards the door. “I have heard of this new jewish food that they are selling at the Eastside. They call it fish and chips. I think you and I need to go and see what all the excitement is about.”

Kili beams up at Mr Oakenshield and is happy to find the tall strong man smiling back, he thinks how nice it is to see his master relaxed and takes in his lighter clothing it somehow makes him look a lot more approachable and younger. As they get into a carriage he can feel a jolt of nerves as he realises they have never just been out for the sake of going out before there has always been a sensible purpose and begins to feel pleasure in the fact that he was being taken out because the man wanted to take him out and not because he needed assistance in completing daily tasks and found himself sitting up straighter and proudly. 

Most of their journeys together have been taken in silence, but under the pressure of feeling time slip away from him, Thorin suddenly wishes he had put more effort in getting to know Kili better. “Why Kili,” he asks softly, casually staring out of the window as he does, “back home, in Horsham I mean, is there a lass you like?” He scolds himself silently for such an inappropriate question, but truth be told he does mean it kindly.

Kili looks up at the man a little shocked but upon seeing Mr Oakenshield’s face he begins to relax. "No sir, I was too busy causing mischief for my ma, and imagining riding off and making my fortune," he laughs thinking how he used to daydream about stealing Mr Oakenshield’s horse. "I used to think about stealing Jayne and riding off in the distance," he admits and then remembers his previous experience with stealing with his master and quickly adds. "Of course I wouldn't, sir," and goes quiet. 

Thorin looks at the young man now, throwing him a stern look and he watches the lad squirm under his stare, before he begins to laugh out loud. “You sure are a handful of trouble, Kili.” He wants to remind him to behave when he works for Mr McTavish but finds he does not want to talk about that right now. “Can you even ride?” he decides to ask instead.

Kili frowns at the question. "Well no, but I'm sure I could figure it out. Can't be that hard!" he says confidently. "What about you, sir, can you ride? Can you teach me?" He asks enthusiastically, imagining Mr Oakenshield falling off a horse and into the mud and can't help suppress his laughter at the the idea of him being covered in mud.

Cocking his head at the smirk on the young man’s face, Thorin feels himself smile. “And what is so funny, if I may ask? And I can indeed ride. It is not as easy as you think, you know. But I am sure a nimble boy like yourself could pick it up easily. Perhaps one day you could visit Erebor and I can teach you.” He knows full well that that will never happen now, but he does not want to ruin Kili’s enthusiasm.

Kili chooses to ignore the question about his laughter. " would you let me come and visit you at Erebor sir? I'd like that, to visit Mr Balin and my friend ori and you could teach me how to ride. Do you think I might be allowed sir?" He babbles excitedly and thinks he might like to visit his mother's grave when he is there but quickly stops himself thinking about that as a lump forms in his throat. 

Thorin thinks about all the questions that Kili has blurted out, but the most important one is the one he cannot answer. He feels grateful to be let off the hook, when the carriage comes to a hold. “Looks like we are here,” he says quickly and reaches for the door. As soon as he has descended the steps he turns back and holds out his hand to assist Kili to get out of the carriage, once more realising how much Kili has been transformed today as he feels that subtle churning in his stomach. He had tried so hard today so suppress his feelings, but under the comforting blanket of darkness he feels more confident in the secrets of his heart. And he knows deep down that those flutters he feels are because he is beginning to really like Kili. Like him as he really should not.

Kili can feel the smoothness of the hand and can feel his cock immediately begin to harden and press uncomfortably against his breeches. He had managed to figure out that his master was the reason for his body's new urges, and can feel his cheeks flush as he gets the urge to reach forward and press his lips against his master's he shifts uncomfortably and begins to follow the man he has suddenly realised he finds captivating finding his eyes run down his body falling onto his buttocks and quickly looking away. he is your master he mentally reminds himself. 

Thorin really wishes he could hold on to that hand, but he knows they cannot. Instead he finds himself hurriedly paying the driver before he begins to walk at a quick pace down Cleveland Street. It feels weird coming here with Kili and he can feel his heart bounce in his throat. He knows this street very well, but his business here is normally not the new fish shop at the end of the long road. Usually he stops at the the property with the gloss black facia on the left hand side. 19 Cleveland Street. The most fashionable male brothel in London, alleged to even service royal clientele behind its drawn curtains. 

Just walking past is sending little heated tingles down his spine as his body's reactions are triggered purely by the sight of the place of forbidden pleasure. He focuses his gaze on the street ahead as Kili catches up with him, reminding himself of his purpose for this evening. 

There was nothing partially unusual about the street there were the usual tall buildings that seemed to be everywhere and Kili can see only a few people hurrying around they seemed to pay no attention of his master and himself as they go about their day to day lives.

He watches as another well dressed man walks down the road. He looks nervous kili observes as the gentleman pulled his collar up and looked left and right. He watches as he clasps eyes on Mr Oakenshield and himself and hurries into an blacked house .

" Sir why did that man look so worried?, I mean he's only gone to a house ." Kili states as they continue to walk down the street.

"You should not be so curious, " Thorin reprimands him in a low voice. "That gentleman's business is none of yours."

Kili lowers his head he has always had a curious nature, and it had always seemed to get him into trouble " yes sir sorry" he apologises as they walk past the blacked out building but can't help looking through the windows out of the corner of his eye even though he can see nothing. 

"Can you smell that?" Thorin asks as they approach their destination. Normally it is wise not to breathe in the stench of the London streets, but the rich oily smell of fried fish and potato chips is drowning out the less pleasant smells of the city.

Kili begins to sniff the air and his stomach gives a loud grumble at the delicious scent " that smells fantastic sir what is it?" He asks his mouth has began to water and he was surprised to realise he was actually quite hungry. 

"That is dinner, " Thorin smiles, clasping the young man's shoulder. "Smells good does it not? Have you ever eaten fried fish or fried potatoes before, Kili?"

"I didn't even know you could get fried potatoes" he admits feeling a little embarrassed and could feel his face flush. "Since coming to the city I have realised I really don't know alot about anything," he states giving a nervous laugh and feeling himself go even redder.

“But that is the exciting bit,” Thorin replies, finding his excitement bubble. “Discovering new things! Kili, the world is at the dawn of a new era, with exotic goods in the shops, fantastic new inventions that allow us to travel the width of the country in less than a day! You know that Thranduil is working on the development of electric trains for the underground, deep under the streets of London? Can you even imagine that? Oh of course, you have not even seen the subway systems yet, maybe on the weekend we …” he stops abruptly, realising he is being rather uncharacteristically chatty and his enthusiasm is running away with his mouth. There will be no we come the weekend. “Anyhow,” he shrugs, suddenly feeling a little awkward about this unusual night out, “I hope you will like the potato chips.” It is not a type of food he himself finds particularly tasteful, but it is different and fashionable and he is quite sure Kili will enjoy it. 

He gets Kili to open the door to the fish shop and gives him a sixpence. “Can you order us two portions, Kili,” he nods towards the counter, before taking a seat at one of the small tables at the side.

Kili walks up to the little counter a little unsure what he is ordering the elder man behind the counter looking at him politely " um I'll have two portions please" he says giving the man an awkward smile. 

"I'll bring it over, sir" he says much to kili's surprise. He had never been called sir before and finds he likes it.

He returns to the table and takes the seat opposite Mr Oakenshield and can't help looking at his handsome features. "The man will bring it over, sir," he informs him looking into his eyes. 

Thorin can feel his heart beat a little faster as Kili gazes at him with those big brown eyes and he lowers his eyes as he smiles. “Thank you, Kili.” He plays with the ring on his finger as he searches for the right words. “You know, earlier, when I told you about your father and you said that I never wanted you here …”

Kili suddenly feels unsure if he likes where this conversation is going and feels himself begin to put his guard up afraid of what Mr Oakenshield is going to say. "Yes sir?" he replies fiddling with the buttons on his coat. 

“Why, I just want you to know that that is not true,” Thorin blurts out, looking back up at Kili. “You should live with your father. It is the right thing, Kili. It is what your mother wanted for you. But it is not because you are not wanted in my home.” He bites the inside of his cheek. “I just wanted you to know that.”

Kili opens his mouth to answer when the old man brings over their dinner, each portion wrapped in a newspaper, as he places it in front of them. "Enjoy, gentlemen," he says with a smile and disappears.

Kili looks down at the wrapped food in front of him with confusion "Sir, why is it wrapped? Did I order the wrong thing?" He asks a little worried. 

Thorin begins to laugh heartily. “No, silly, you ordered the right thing. This is how it is served.” He begins to unwrap the newspapers, revealing the pile of greasy potato chips inside with a battered piece of cod balanced on top. “See,” he shows Kili as he picks up the fork that the older jewish man had provided. “Go on, try it,” he smiles as he tucks in.

Kili prods his fork into the golden crispy batter suspiciously causing it to crisp and reveal the flaky white fish meat underneath. He puts a little bit on the folk and brings it up to his lips and begins to nibble at the fish. He smiles and begins to chew the buttery warm delicious fish and then does the same to the potato chips and begins to wolf down his dinner. "This is amazing," he utters loading his folk up and taking a huge mouthful. 

Bless the Jewish and their weird food, Thorin chuckles to himself as for the first time ever Kili appears to be enjoying a meal. He dares not say anything as he watches the young man scoff down the oily food, afraid to disturb his appetite, and quietly continues to eat his own portion.

As Kili finishes he licks his lips and looks at his plate suddenly wishing there had been more of the delightful food. "Thank you for bringing me here, sir, I enjoyed that," he beams and sits back in the wooden chair. "Maybe we can come back here again one day," he says starting to feel comfortably full. 

Thorin grins at the youngster. “Maybe we can,” he nods. “I am glad you enjoyed it.” He takes out his pocket watch, noting that it is getting late and tomorrow no doubt will be a stressful day. “I guess we had best head home, then. If you are finished.” Other than the newspaper itself there is not a crumb left before Kili, so that is pretty much confirmed. He gets to his feet and pulls his gloves back on. “Ready?”

Kili looks at the newspaper wistfully; he had never enjoyed a meal quite as much as this one, and knows it is the company more than the delicious food and lets out a sad sigh. "Yes, sir," he replies forcing a smile.

They walk slowly back down the cobbled street under the soft glow of the streetlamps, taking their time to return to the carriage stand as they both know that this may be the last evening they get to spend in each other’s company. Thorin averts his eyes as they pass the pleasure house again, not wishing his thoughts to be distracted from the nice evening he has had with Kili. And he looks over at the young man from the corner of his eye. He really is beginning to change. It is not just the clothes and the haircut. There is a different aura around him, one of growing confidence and a little pride. And he hopes that whatever happens, McTavish will continue to kindle that ember inside the youngster. He knows the lad will always be restricted in his endeavours by his status in society, but equally he knows he could be more than just a lowly servant if he was given the opportunity. Perhaps one day he could become a second or even first footman for McTavish’s estate. With a bit of guidance and nourishment of that untamed enthusiasm and curiosity he really believes Kili could be great at something like that.

Kili feels sadness stab away at his heart as he looks at the handsome man out of the corner of his eye. He had grown to rely on the man and knew he was developing strong feelings for him. The thought of being sent away makes him want to weep. He brushes his hand against Mr Oakenshield as he gets into the carriage and felt tingles erupt over his body " Sorry sir" he utters but is not sorry at all and sits next to the older man and can't help but reach out for his gloved hand " I will miss you sir" he says feeling close to tears. 

Thorin is startled by Kili’s touch and even more by his words. He can feel the blush creep up his neck as a sweat breaks out across his back. For a moment he is speechless. And as the carriage begins to move with a jolt, the sudden movement pushes Kili even closer against him. “I will miss you too, Kili,” he whispers back earnestly, his throat feeling thick with a sudden emotion that he has not felt since the death of his wife and child; one of a deep sense of loss. And despite the knowledge that sending Kili to live with his father is the right thing, he begins to regret his decision to take Kili to meet McTavish tomorrow.

In what must be a moment of madness all sense of control and common decency appears to abandon him. Kili is too close and his need is too great and he can feel a stirring between his legs at the warmth that radiates from the youngster. He has no idea what possesses him when he suddenly turns to face Kili, seeing those slightly flushes cheeks, those full lips and those deep dark eyes, or what convinces him that Kili wants this as much as he does. But before he can stop himself his hand brushes the lad’s soft cheek. And then his lips are pressing against Kili’s; urgent, needy, hot.

Kili jolts with shock at the touch. He can feel the man's beard brush against his skin and he runs his hand into the older man's hair, he can feel his prick stiffening again but this time he doesn't panic and closes his eyes and begins to run his hand down the back of the older man's neck. He can feel sparks burst throughout his body.

Thorin threads his large hands deeper into Kili’s dark locks, pulling him in even closer as he massages bruises into the youngster’s lips with his own. His heart is racing as he breathes in Kili’s scent and drowns in the warmth of his lips. Somewhere deep down in his subconsciousness he knows that what he is doing is so so wrong. But his desire for Kili has sparked a wildfire now as he forcefully pushes his lips apart in order to possess him with his tongue as his arousal grows.

As the tongue slips into his mouth and their kiss deepens he moves his hands lower down the handsome man's muscled back and he can feel his body ache for the older man's touch. He slips his tongue into the warmth of his master's mouth and begins exploring the heat. He can feel the hands in his hair and brings his hand up to do the same to gentleman's ebony locks with the other hand he runs it down the other man's chest unsure to start with, but with every movement he gains confidence and he finds himself fumbling for the button on the the older man's breeches. 

Thorin gasps under the touch and is rapidly brought to his senses. He pulls back, flushing deeply at the realisation of how badly he has just lost himself, and wraps his hand around Kili’s, stopping his efforts to undress him there and then. “Kili,” he breathes heavily. “I … I am so sorry.” He swallows hard as he brushes his thumb over his lips, which still pulse from their passionate kiss.

Kili reaches for the man's button again not wanting the new feelings to stop but feels himself being pushed away and just looks at the older man confused. 

“Oh sweet sweet Kili,” Thorin pants. “We should not … I should not have …”

"But I want to, have wanted to," and he begins to reach for the man's hair trying to pull him close. But Thorin grabs his wrist, forcing him to lower his hand again.

“No,” he says sternly, although his voice feels thick with want. “I … I want to also, but we must not. Kili, you know it is wrong. I have told you before. I will not condemn you to a life like that.”

Kili can feel angry erupt inside him. "And what if I want a life like that? I know my own mind and I want this," he snarls. " I am not a child, I know my own mind!" he snaps and gets up from the seat and moves to the one opposite. 

Thorin looks at the young man, who just as quickly has transformed into a surly teenager again, which only reinforces his belief that he cannot proceed with this. “You have no idea,” he says, straightening his clothes. “I forgot myself and for that I must apologise. But you must forget about this, Kili. Please. For your own sake.”

Kili can feel hurt wash over him and he curls his knees up to his lap suddenly he wanted to be alone and moves his body to the corner of the carriage and puts his face into his knees " that was my first kiss and you tell me to forget it" he whispers no longer wanting to be in the carriage and reaches for the handle. 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Thorin shouts, panic washing over him as he watches the boy move as if he plans to jump from the moving carriage. He grabs the youngster and pulls him into his arms, not caring that Kili is snarling and fighting him like a streetdog. “Kili, hush now,” he soothes. “I never meant to hurt you. Please just calm. I … I am sorry that I stole your first kiss from you. But if you must know, it was a very nice kiss,” he tries to pacify the youngster.

"Leave me alone, I don't want to be near you. You said earlier that you wanted me, but it was all lies" he thunders trying to get out of the strong grip wrapped around him " I want to get out of this carriage now, I never wanted to come to London in the first place why couldn't you of just let me be" he bellows still trying to get out of the firm grip..

“No, stop all this drama right now!” he growls at Kili and pulls him even closer, rocking the teenager until he can feel the tension begin to slip from his taut body. As the boy begins to calm down he buries his face in Kili’s soft hair which still smells of soap. “Kili, don’t say that. It was never a lie. I am so very sorry I have hurt you.” Gently he begins to stroke his hand through Kili’s hair. “You cannot love me, Kili. You could go to prison for it. I do not want that for you. And I cannot break my promise to your mother. You must understand.”

"But I do love you," he sobs into the older man's chest " I don't want to be parted from you, I want to stay," he mutters suddenly starting to feel a little tired and huddles into the warmth of the older man's chest. He can hear his heart beating and he finds it somewhat comforting. "I don't care what my ma told you to do, she always told me that someday I would find someone who would make me happy and I would love unconditionally and that someone is you, Thorin," he states using the man's first name to emphasise his point, "I will not go with Mr McTavish" he says sternly and can feel his eyes droop. "I won't" he says sleepily and a wave exhaustion takes him over. 

Thorin doesn't know that to say. It is just a crush. Just a teenage boy's crush, he tells himself. And he is entirely responsible for the youngster's confused feelings. Kili had been too isolated and he had been the one to show him kindness after Dis' death. The boy was confusing care with love, undoubtedly fuelled by his raging hormones. But when he gets to meet others his own age, the handsome youngster will soon enough find a pretty girl to steal his heart away. 

But Kili's declaration of love has touched him deeply. When he had said his name he had felt a warmth spread out from his heart. And he wraps his arms even closer around Kili as the young man falls asleep against his chest. He softly presses a kiss on the lad's hair as he cradles him, feeling surprisingly at ease with Kili lying in his arms. 

When the carriage finally pulls up outside the square, he gets it to pay the driver and then scoops the sleeping youngster into his strong arms. Kili's head rolls gently against his shoulder as he carries him to his chambers. He awkwardly fumbles for his keys, before carrying the brunet into the lounge where he carefully lowers him down into the sofa. He battles for a moment to try and pull off Kili's overcoat and dress coat. "Come on, Kili, wake up. You need to get changed," he tries, shaking the boy gently. 

Kili feels movement but tries to ignore it by rolling over and changing his position and can feel himself beginning to fall asleep again. 

Thorin sighs at the realisation that he's not going to get any help from the youngster, but he cannot stay in his new clothes either if he's to have a chance at looking vaguely representable tomorrow. He bites his lip as he rolls Kili back over and begins to undo his cravat, and pulls off his waistcoat. He prays that the boy does not wake up as he unbuttons his shirt, not wishing to give him any more improper signals. But Kili is pretty much passed out. 

He can feel himself flush and stir as he helps Kili out of his shirt and slacks, leaving him lying in just his cottons. But he does his best to ignore his erection as he reaches for the blankets shoved behind the sofa and drapes then over Kili's sleeping form. 

"Goodnight Kili, " he whispers softly. He bends himself down to press another kiss onto that sweet face, but manages to stop himself. And he hastily turns around and dashes for the safety of his bedchamber, where he palms himself to a quick release before drifting off into a restless sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Dwalin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by LadyLuna

Kili flutters open his eyelids and looks around the living room a little confused. His mind feels slightly boggled and then the memories of the night before come flooding back and he can’t help but smile as he thinks of how nice mr Oakenshield had been to him and he thinks of his handsome features and can feel his cock stir A little under his blanket. Then he remembers reaching for Mr Oakenshield breeches and flushes with embarrassment and buries his face in his blanket, he remembers confessing his love to Mr Oakenshield _Kili you stupid idiot_ he scolds himself and kicks down the blanket angrily.

 He looks down at his thin bare body with horror as he realises Mr Oakenshield must of undressed him and begins hitting his head with the palm of his hand he begins to wonder how he will ever face the tall handsome man again  when he hears footsteps coming down the corridor and yanks the blanket up over his head hiding his bare body from sight.

 He lies as still as possible, hoping the gentleman will just think he is asleep and leave the room again so he can get dressed. But he has no such luck and moments later the door opens and Mr Oakenshield appears in the doorway.

 “Kili, we need to talk,” he says, looking at the boy hiding under the blankets and feeling a little flustered that Kili is not up and dressed yet. “Get dressed and then we talk,” he corrects his previous statement and makes a hasty exit.

 Kili lets out a relieved sigh as the gentleman leaves and hastily searches around for his new clothing and finds them folded neatly on the back of a wooden dinning chair and gets dressed, and walks into the kitchen to put on Mr Oakenshield’s breakfast.

 “Put that down a moment, Kili,” Thorin startles him. “I think we should talk first. _I_ should talk first.” And he walks into the lounge, expecting Kili to follow him.

 Kili stills dreading the conversation and slowly follows his master into the lounge and sits down on his sofa quietly looking at the floor.

 Thorin rubs a hand across his beard as he thinks about what he is going to say. He had the whole lecture worked out in his head as he had awoken early that morning, unable to go back to sleep as the embarrassment of what he had done the night before came flooding back to him. But this was not a bloody closing speech at court! This was about him trying to explain his improper behaviour to the young man whom he was beginning to have such deep loving feelings for, knowing that he could give him no more mixed messages. “Kili, I …” _Oh Lord, is there anything he can say that will not make this situation ten times worse?_ “I am sorry that I kissed you yesterday,” he states plainly, feeling his cheeks burn as he watches the youngster. “I hope that you can forgive me.”

 Kili looks up from the floor and into the man’s face. He realises he had fallen for those grey eyes full of concern. " I'm not sorry" he says bravely not breaking eye contact.

 “Pardon?” Thorin utters in surprise.

 " I'm not sorry you kissed me" he states feeling his cheeks flush " I had wanted to do that myself but was afraid you wouldn't feel the same" kili replies unsure if he is making their situation better or worse but he knows he has to be honest and doesn't want to hide his feelings any longer and walks over to the older man and takes his hand.

 Thorin freezes under Kili’s forwardness. “Please Kili,” he pleads as he pulls back his hand. “Don’t make this any harder for the both of us. I am not sorry for me, I am sorry for you. I should not be messing up your life. The reason I brought you to London was to find your dad and you will meet him this afternoon.” _That is if the man will actually let me know where to meet_. Although deep down he secretly hopes that the man has changed his mind. “If Mr McTavish does give you a job and place in his house, you are always welcome here if you want to continue to learn to read and write. I have made you that promise and I will not come back on it. But I wish you a world of happiness with some sweet girl one day. You must not pine for a moody old man like myself, whom you know you can never openly love.” He cannot help but reach out for Kili, knowing that it probably does not help, as he brushes back his now short hair. “Can you do that, Kili?”

 Kili can feel sadness crush his heart at Mr Oakenshield’s words. He wants to argue that he is not an moody old man but an interesting man that he is crazy for him and reach out and claim his lips but forces himself to nod. "Yes sir," he replies unable to keep the sadness out of his voice and walks back over to the sofa he sleeps on and gazes into the unlit fireplace.

 “Good,” Thorin tries to smile although his heart feels broken. But he has no time to nurture his self-pity. And he decides not to prolong their awkward conversation. “I will be in my study,” he turns back to a more professional subject. “Please could you serve my breakfast in there.” He really does need to catch up on his casework with the date of the hearing looming, but equally it provides a convenient excuse not to have to look at Kili and face his heartache for the boy - and himself - for a while.

 Kili turns to face the man and nods and watches him leave. The second the door closes he lets the tears that he had been holding back the whole conversation fall from his eyes and wipes them on his blanket. He feels like his heart is shattering and he vows never to love again.

 He walks into the kitchen and begins to make the master his breakfast, not even bothering to plate up a portion for himself as he knows he will not be able to stomach it. And makes his way down the corridor and gently taps on the door to the study.  

Thorin briefly looks up as Kili brings in his breakfast as requested, but quickly returns his attention to his papers. This case could be a tricky one, although he is fairly confident there are weaknesses in the prosecution that he can work to his advantage. “Thanks,” he mumbles, not looking up from his papers, although it takes him all his self-control to keep his focus.

 Kili walks back in the living room and over to the book case picking a book out at random and scanning the page curiously even though he cannot understand the words but he manages to recognise a few of the letters.

 Just then a loud ringing sound comes from  Mr Oakenshield’s desk and kili jumps back afraid of the noise unsure what it means " SIR, SIR" he shouts and continues to back away until he hits a wall.

 Thorin jumps up from his paperwork and throws open the door, storming into the lounge. “Kili, what …?!” His eyes fall on the trembling youngster who is staring wide- eyed at the phone that is ringing on his other desk and he tries hard not to laugh as he walks over and picks up the ear and mouth piece. “Hello?”

 Kili continues to stare at the phone wide eyed and begins to slide down the wall and wraps his arms around his knees and he watches as the gentleman calmly talks into the device.  

 When he terminates the call his face has shifted into a frown and he looks at Kili more seriously. “Get ready,” he orders. “We are leaving in ten minutes.”

 Kili's heart sinks at this news and he walks over to the sofa and drops to his knees fishing out his tin and pulling it close to his chest " Do I really have to meet him?" he asks quietly as his face pales.

 “Yes,” Thorin answers curtly. He is annoyed with McTavish for giving him such short notice. Could the guy not have been a little more accommodating? He hates being rushed and he hates it even more under the circumstances. But then on the other hand maybe it is just as well not to prolong the inevitable. He walks into his bedroom and returns a few moments later with a small old suitcase. “I want you to pack your belongings,” he hands the case to Kili. He knows the lad does not have many possessions but at least he can keep his clothes and his tin save in it. “If Mr McTavish is happy to take you in then I can have this dropped off for you later.”

 Kili feels a sense of betrayal. "You said I only had to meet him," he argues.

 “Do as I say,” Thorin snaps and he turns his back.

 " I won't stay with him I'll … I'll run away" he threatens turning his back on Mr Oakenshield.

 Thorin swings back round, feeling his temper flare. “You will do no such thing! If Mr McTavish is so kind to offer you a home and a job you will accept it gratefully. Don’t you dare embarrass me in front of a fellow man of the bar or I will make you regret it,” he threatens.           

 Kili snatches the suitcase and angrily  starts piling  his ripped clothing into the case not bothering with folding and the carefully puts in his precious tin, he can feel the unfairness of it all and feels like he has been passed  pillar to post and does not belong anywhere. He suddenly wishes he had kept the fish and chip wrappings so he would have a happy memory of his time with Mr Oakenshield when he has finished he turns around to face Mr Oakenshield, but can't help glaring at him as he feels anger at the situation he has no control over. "Happy?" he asks moodily.

 Thorin gives a curt nod, ignoring Kili’s insolence as he does not want him to depart on an argument. He swallows the lump in his throat. “Kili, there is something I would like you to have,” he says as he walks up to the youngster. He holds out the ornate wooden writing kit to the youngster that they had first used together on the train to London when he had taught Kili to write his own name. “So that you can continue to practice your letters.”

 All of the anger from before melts away with in  seconds as Kili stares wide eyed at the writing set he knows it must be worth a lot and looks up at Mr Oakenshield’s face and blinks back tears " that's very kind of you sir but I can't accept it, it's too much" he says lowering his eyes from the kind handsome face.

 Thorin grabs his hand and places the box into it. "I insist. See it as your promise to me that you will keep practising." It takes every ounce of his willpower not to pull Kili into another kiss and he forcefully pulls himself away.

 Kili runs his hand over the beautiful wooden box and can remember overhearing Mr Oakenshield telling his mother once that it was a gift from his parents and vows to  keep learning so he can make Mr Oakenshield proud of him he looks into the older man's grey eyes and can see sadness behind them and for the first time believes he may not want him to go either " thank you I will treasure it forever" he promises.  

 Thorin smiles. "Good. You are a good lad, Kili. Your ma would have been so proud of you. And I know you will make your father proud also." He grabs the suitcase and steers Kili ahead of him towards the door. "We had best not keep him waiting, " he urges the youngster, remembering McTavish's dislike of poor timekeeping.

 The carriage journey was an awkward affair neither knew what to say to the other, they both knew it would probably be their last time together in a carriage.

 Kili flushed red as he remembered the kiss from last night, he did not regret it at all and longed to reach for the ebony haired man and pull him into a tight embrace and refuse to ever let go.

 The carriage  pulls up outside a pub  called the Anchor and reluctantly gets out the carriage and opens the door for Mr Oakenshield.

 He felt sick and thought about running off but remembers Mr Oakenshields warning and follows him into the pub.

 Thorin scans the room as he keeps an eye on Kili from the corner of his eye. When he spots the bald man at one of the tables near the bar he feels an uncomfortable churning in his stomach, but he forces himself to stay calm and confident for Kili's sake. "Over there, " he smiles reassuringly to the brunet and heads over to the table he has pointed out to him.

 "Mr McTavish," he politely holds out his hand to the Scot..

 The bold man reluctantly takes the man's hand he had hoped he wouldn't turn up and then his eyes gaze onto the skinny brunet. "You have brought my property, I see," he states nastily eyeing the boy with dislike.

 Kili looks into the eyes of the huge man and instantly dislikes everything about him, from the cold look on his face down to what the man is wearing, and he flinches at his harsh words and tries to hide behind Mr Oakenshield out of sight.

 "I have brought you your _son_ ," Thorin retorts as he gently pushes Kili forward. "I am sure I do not need to remind a man like yourself of the 1833 Act."

 "Don't lecture me on our laws, sir," the Scottish man snaps eying the other man of the law with disgust. "So you're the boy," he says turning to face the brown haired teenager who was currently clutching on to Mr Oakenshield’s arm. When he doesn't speak he turns to the tall man. "Why does he not speak, is he dumb?" He snarls looking at the tall dark-haired man.

 “He is just nervous,” Thorin frowns. _And can you blame him, you are hardly making an effort to put him at ease!_ he wants to add but he holds his tongue. He turns to Kili, prying loose his hand and grasping his upper arm as he pulls Kili forward again, this time holding him firmly in place. “Come on, Kili, don’t be rude. Greet Mr McTavish properly.”

 Kili looks at the man and gives a nervous smile. "Pleased to meet you, sir," he says quietly and holds out his hand.

 Dwalin ignores the boys hand. "Tell me, boy, how long have you worked for Mr Oakenshield?" he growls causing Kili to shuffle backwards.

 "Just over a month, sir," he replies shuffling nervously looking at his feet.

 "You will look at me when I speak to you, insolent boy!" he thunders causing kili to stumble backwards into Mr Oakenshield.  

 Thorin can feel his temper rise as this brute of a man is bellowing at Kili and he is beginning to regret setting up this meeting more and more. He grabs hold of Kili’s upper arms again and squeezes him ever so softly in what he hopes is a reassuring gesture. “Just sit down, Kili,” he says softly, pushing him down onto one of the chairs. He glares at Dwalin. “The boy is fifteen!” he bites at him as he too sits down. “Just give him a chance, you are frightening him.”

 "Do not tell me how to speak to a servant, Mr Oakenshield. The idiot child is clearly in need of some discipline," he snaps looking at the boy. "He is far too wild," he adds smirking at the effect it is having on the teenager as he begins to tremble.

 Kili looks up at Mr Oakenshield. "Please can we go home, sir?" he begs feeling tears roll down his face.

 Thorin can feel his blood boil and his heart shatter and he does not care what the other man thinks when he brushes the tear from Kili’s cheeks. “Just be brave,” he whispers to him, before turning back to Dwalin. “I have not spent a lot of time on my estate these last few years,” he tries to explain to the man. “As such Kili has perhaps not had the discipline a child would normally have had, with only my groundsman and Dis there to teach him. But this last month, since he has started working for me, he has really come along tremendously. He is _not_ an idiot,” he snarls at the bald Scot. “Quite the contrary. He really wants to learn and has worked very hard. I am sure he will be an asset to your household, sir.”

 The Scottish man narrows his eyes at Mr Oakenshield " I'm sure it is nothing a whipping won't teach him anyway" he says then turns to the boy who is now clutching Mr Oakenshields coat " you will learn to respect your master child I promise you that, I will not have disrespect and disobedience In my household I will have the skin of your back now look at me you bastard child  " he states and grabs Kili's chin and forces it up causing the boy to cry out at the sudden force on his jaw.

 Kili clings on to Mr Oakenshield’s arm as he is yanked forward by the man. "Let go of me," he yelps trying to move his head but the Scottish man has a strong grip and grabs hold tighter.

 Before he can stop himself, Thorin feels his instinct to protect the young man he has grown so fond of, overtake his mind. His hand shoots forward and grabs McTavish’s arm in a crushing lock. “Let go of him!” he shouts, drawing surprised looks from around the pub.

 Dwalin suddenly remembers he is in public and reluctantly releases the boy’s face and watches as the boy hides behind the tall man. "We will be taking our leave now, sir. You, come with me, you filthy vermin," he snarls looking at the brunet who is burying his face into the man's arm. "I said it is time to go!" he hisses reaching for the brat's arm but misses as he moves and  clings on tighter staring back with wide scared eyes.

 “No!” Thorin blocks the older man’s attempt to grasp hold of Kili. He has watched this play out in front of him, wanting so badly for Kili to be given a chance by his father and to honour his promise to Dis. But the Scot is sending chills down his spine and he suddenly realises he cannot let Kili go with this man as he fears for what he may do to him. McTavish clearly has no love for the boy. And the way he has spoken to him and man-handled him may be acceptable in some households, but he finds is more reminiscent of the tales of slavery that Thranduil had told him, than the lawful employment of servants. And although he is not averse to discipline, he has very strong feelings about unnecessary violence, especially towards his Kili.

 "May I remind you do not know how to raise a boy. As far as I am aware you are not even able to father a child, let alone raise one!”

 Thorin can feel himself flush at the insult which stabs him deep in his heart, reminding him simultaneously of his loss and his sin. But before he has a chance to retort the big Scot continues his vicious tirade.

 “You have no rights over this boy. He is mine and I will treat him how I want," the Scottish man rages and grabs Kili by the hand and yanks him away from Mr Oakenshield. "You belong to me, you bastard son of a harlot," he spits and starts to twist the boy’s wrist.

 "No! I won't go with you!" Kili cries and with his free fist begins hitting the man's arm with as much force as he can. As the Scottish man starts to pull him away he reaches out and grabs hold of Mr Oakenshield’s coat. "Please don't let him take me!" he cries and kicks the man in the knee which forces him to release his grip and grabs on around his master's waist.

Everyone in the pub is watching the scene now and Thorin feels himself turn scarlet with a combination of anger and embarrassment. He grasps hold of Kili and steers him towards the door, wishing to take him away from this horrid person as quickly as possible. He pushes empty chairs out of his way as he storms towards the door and pushes Kili ahead of him onto the street.

 The Scottish man thunders out of the pub and walks straight up to Mr Oakenshield and grabs the front of his coat in a temper and knocks him against a wall  "I will take what is rightfully mine and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”

 Thorin feels the air being pushed out of his lungs as his back hits the wall, but his anger makes the adrenaline flood through his body. He launches himself at the the broad Scot. “You have not considered Kili yours for fifteen bloody years!” he bellows as he grabs the Scot by the lapels of his coat. “What makes you wish to claim him as your own now? I do not like your intentions, McTavish, and the boy is coming home with me.” He shoves the man backwards and turns round to find Kili.

 Kili is curled up with his hands around himself watching the scene with wide eyes as he catches the grey eyes meet his. He can see a fury behind them he has never seen before and runs and clutches tightly onto the hand of the man he loves. "Please sir, can we go home?" he sobs rubbing the back of the hand. He can feel the ring that reminds him so desperately of Thorin and slips it off his finger in his panic, suddenly feeling a desperate need to have something of his master before they are separated, and slides it into his pocket. Then he turns to the evil Scottish man, "I don't care if you are my father, I'm staying with my master," he says bravely grabbing the older man's hand tightly again.

 He threads his fingers through Kili’s as Thorin turns to face Kili’s father again. “Father or not, I will not send the boy to you against his will,” he states. “He works for me, I am his master, and therefore I claim my right to my servant.”

 Dwalin looks at the hands entwined and with all his weight charges against the taller man forcing his against the wall again he can hear a crunch of bone as the man's head collides with the brick wall and smirks as he sees the man's nose instantly bleed. "Unless you wish to end up in a prison cell for you perverted ways, sir, I would think very carefully what you say. You dirty queer! We both know if I wanted to I could ruin you, not only for your conduct towards myself but for your perverted ways towards the boy," he threatens moving his face close to the gentleman. "And if you come near the bastard again I will make sure your boy pays the price for your stupidity," he promises then releases the man's coat and turns to the teenager, lifting him off the ground with ease and little effort.

 " Let go of me!" Kili screams and begins beating against the man's shoulder as he is moved further away from Mr Oakenshield and he tries to reach for him but he is out of arm's reach. "Please help me, please!" he cries as the violent Scottish barrister manhandles him as he begins to kick out his legs wildly.

 Thorin watches in horror as the Scotsman slings Kili’s thin frame over his shoulder as if he is but a bag of oats. But he knows the evil man has him cornered now. McTavish is right, he can ruin him easily if he announces his favouring of young men to their fellow men of the bar. And how is him landing himself in prison going to be of any help to Kili? “I am so sorry,” he finds himself sobbing at Kili as he watches the youngster fight a losing battle. He desperately wishes he had listened to Kili, had not taken him here to meet this ruthless man who had no right to claim him as his son. Being a father meant more than seeding a life and he had never been there for the boy and he knows now he never will be. “Be brave, Kili,” he calls out to the brunet as he watches him being carried away. “Be good and honest! And remember your promise!”

 Kili looks back over the man's shoulder and can see the sorrow in his master's face and can see tears run freely down his cheeks. "I promise!" he shouts back still fighting with all his might but knowing it is a losing battle and feels his body begin to tire, as all his energy is drained out of him.

 He feels the Scotsman loosen his grip and is suddenly chucked into a carriage he fights to get up but feels a tight grip on the back of his neck holding him into place. "You will learn you place, you godless creature, I promise you that," the Scotsman hisses into his ear and he feels the carriage begin to move taking him towards the unknown.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 1833 Act that Thorin refers to is the Slavery Abolition Act.


	17. Chapter 17

Kili sobs quietly as the carriage moves further away from the safety of Mr Oakenshield. The Scottish man has a tight grip on his arm and has it twisted uncomfortably around his back. He had not said much during the journey, except the odd threat   every now and again.

The brunet can feel bruising starting to appear on his face but dare not move afraid of the brutes temper.

The carriage comes to a sudden halt and the huge man grabs the back of his coat  man handling like a rag doll " walk" he orders and when kili doesn't quick enough he kicks the back of his leg " I said walk you hell child" he growls in  his ear and guides the boy roughly to an old out building.

Kili feels a blow to his head as he shoved against a wall and slumps  down on the floor with his back against the wall and looks up at the dangerous eyes of the Scottish man who is towering over him.

The balding man bends down and grabs the brunet hair and pulls hard forcing him to remain looking into his face " You are mine and will do as you are told you filthy foul imp" he states and is happy to see the fear in the boys eyes." Now you and Mr Oakenshield spoke of a promise you will tell Me what promise you made" he orders and when the boy doesn't answer he slaps his face “TELL ME" he bellows in the young man's face.

Kili remains silent unsure what to say and widens his eyes in fear as the bold man raises a fist " he made me promise to continue to keep up My reading and writing" he says hurriedly flinching as he prepares for the impact of the man's large fists.

Mr McTavish looks at the boys terrified face as he makes himself as small as possible " you dare lie to me" he hollers and begins to shake the scared teenager " Tell me the truth" he commands back handing the teenager.

" I am, I am telling you the truth" he cries trying to move backwards away from the rage filled man. He can feel the sting on his face as a bright red hand print appears on his cheek.

The huge Scottish man lunges forward and grabs the brunet  pushing him closer to the ground where he curls  himself up in a ball with his face in his knees to protect his face from Impact.

The bald man can feel rage erupt over his body and looks at the teenager with disgust as he whimpers and cowards and pulls his foot back and drives it  hard into his ribs.

Kili lets out a scream at the soaring pain to his side, the Scottish man continues to kick into his side each kick harder than the last " please I swear to you that's all it is" he sobs his body jolting at the force from the man's foot.

“You will learn your place, you are my property and will answer my questions" he thunders kicking the youth with one last  forceful kick.

Kili can feel the air catch in his throat and begins to gasp for breath, he wants to back away from the man but is fearful of moving so just stays in the same position, too scared to do anything. He thinks of Mr Oakenshield and longs for just a hug and wraps his arms around himself, longing for the warmth of the older man's embrace, he is trying so hard to be brave but can't help letting out a sob.

“Let’s see if a day in here with no food will loosen your tongue" the huge man snarls and is pleased to see the boy is shaking with fear and routed to the spot  and smirks with satisfaction at how much control he already has on the youth. He turns on his heel and leaves the boy sobbing  in the dark cold windowless out building  making sure to lock the door behind him.

__________________________________

Thorin is sat in the Anchor, pressing a bloody handkerchief against his face; he's pretty sure his nose is broken as it hurts like hell! He had been embarrassed, but nonetheless grateful for the kindness of strangers who had helped him back on his feet and guided him back into the pub. Someone had even bought him a double brandy to numb the pain. But the pain in his face is one thing. The pain in his heart is quite another.

He drags his hands across his face and realises his hands are trembling. He has failed Kili. He had meant to protect him from himself and instead he had led him into a situation that was so much worse. He feels a deep self-loathing that he had not fought harder to keep hold of Kili. Physically he could have held his own against the Scot if he had wanted to. It was not very gentleman like to brawl with a fellow barrister on the streets of London, but if that would have saved Kili from god-knows what then he would have.

But he had been afraid. Afraid of what McTavish might know about his private life and the threat he had made. There was so much at stake. Times were changing. The softening of the law that governed his sexuality had not gone down with many parties and people he knew who had the same urges as him were growing increasingly worried about the political climate they found themselves. Besides it was not just himself he was worried for. He could deny what had passed between him and Kili - no one had any proof of that. But his relationship with Thranduil had been far less discreet over the years. Did McTavish know about that? He had no right to put his lover’s reputation at stake. And with that thought he had frozen and let Kili slip from his fingers.

He can feel the anger and frustration build up inside him, feeling so utterly powerless. It takes all his self-control not to slam his fists onto the table and scream out his anguish. His brain is churning over every possible way he could help Kili now that would not make this all so much worse.

He wonders what is even in it for McTavish. If he has such a low opinion of the boy, then why bother? Why not leave him to be his problem? But those thoughts only stir his anxiety as ever answer he comes up makes him worry more.

As time ticks away he is beginning to think that perhaps he is overreacting. Sure, McTavish was not a nice man, he could not deny that, but he was a man of the bar, a respected member of society. He had the right to discipline his son and his servant. Was he being over sensitive because of the way he felt about the lad? Possibly that was some of it, but there was more to it than that. His own father had been a temperamental and strict man and had not been afraid to lay down the law in his own home. He and Frerin still bore the scars of those encounters. But he had never spoken with such disdain to or about them, even when they had really crossed him.

 _Why should he even care?_ is the next thought that comes to him. Kili is but a lowly servant. If he had not taken care of him thus far he would be now have ended up in a workhouse or a whorehouse anyway. He has fulfilled his duty, he has done what he has promised Dis and taken him to his father. Who was he to judge this man? She had slept with him, she must know what he was like! After all he had kicked her out on the streets when he knocked her up. Yet still her dying wish was for Kili to be taken to him.

_Because he had nowhere else to go. Because she did not want to burden you, you asshole! And you care because you care for him. Because he is a good kid and he deserves better._

He looks at his empty glass and considers ordering another. But then he remembers that he had promised to take Kili’s suitcase round to McTavish estate. Perhaps if he does that he can see for himself whether he had just misinterpreted the situation in the heat of the moment. Perhaps Kili will have had a chance to calm down and take in his new surroundings and he is probably wanting for his few personal belongings. It would probably much more sensible to pay someone to deliver them round, especially after the other barrister’s threat what he would do if he came near Kili again. But he needs to chance it; he need to know that Kili is alright.

__________________________________

Kili awakes and for a split second he is led curled up on his sofa in front of a roaring fire with his blanket wrapped around him, and then he suddenly feels a chill and is brought back to reality with a massive bump.

He flicks open his eyes and can see nothing but darkness he fears he may have gone blind and double checks his eyes are open the dark looming all around him made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and he began to shiver with a mixture of cold and fear.

He realises he must of been here for hours but all time seems to stand still, the teenage tries to move but suddenly can feel pain in his side and remembers the bold man's beating and begins to touch the tender area to assess the extent of the man's cruel beating.

He can feel multiple bruises all down his side, he could tell they were bad just by touch alone, he barely pressed down and felt his breath hitch from the pain.

The hopelessness of his situation begins to set in and he crawls to the  rough brick walls and begins to explore them with his hands trying to find an escape route.

After a couple of minutes he realises it is hopeless and sits with his aching back against a wall and puts his hand in his pocket and begins fumbling Mr Oakenshields beautiful ring, it somehow gives him comfort makes him feel like he is near.

The thought of the handsome gentleman makes him determined to be strong and he vows to return to him along with his ring.

He can suddenly hear a key and curls his knees to his chest and begins to panic he can feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest and stares wide eyed at the direction of the sound as blazing light comes from outside.

He blinks as his eyes begin to adjust to the bright light and a person comes into focus, and a young girl is stood there she can not be no older than seven  he thinks to himself and a plan starts to form in his mind.

“The master wants you to change" she says quietly handing him over a plain brown shirt and black slacks. “You are to give me your own clothing" she informs him.

Kili accepts the clothing of the girl " thank you" he says smiling as the girl looks at him curiously and he realises he must look quite a sight " my name is Kili" he tells her guiltily as he tries to lull her into a false sense of security. He thinks of the Scottish man and hopes he won't punish the girl too bad for what he is about to do.

She doesn't reply and just continues to watch him as he begins to undo the buttons on his thick coat “what is your name?" He asks as the girl puts down a jug of water and he hurries over and pours a large tankard full and downs the tankard suddenly realising how thirsty he is.

Her face suddenly is full of fear " the master has told us know one is supposed to talk to you else wise were be punished" she replies fearful making Kili feel even more guilty.

Kili uses her sudden change of emotion to his advantage as he notices her get drawn away in her thoughts and dashes towards her and runs out the door.

He looks around quickly ignoring the pain in his side as adrenalin pumps around his body and he spots a metal gate and begins to sprint towards the gate.

He can hear them before he sees them and he begins to increase his speed as he can hear the pounding of paws on grass as giant dogs race  towards him. He sprints across the grounds towards the iron gate he can almost touch it, when he feels a pair of massive paws on his back and is brought crashing to the ground.

" you dare run away from me" a furious voice bellows as kili tries desperately to wiggle Free from the death grip of the giant dog that has all its weight on his already sore back.

The Scottish man marches up to him and grabs the back of his new coat. He then orders the dog off which obeys instantly and brings his face near the boys ear " I will make you regret this you young devilish child" he hisses and drags him to his feet effortlessly. " Joseph get the whip" he orders to a near by servant and is pleased to feel a shudder of fear and a frightened sob from the boy as he drags him back to the small out building to receive his punishment.

____________________________________________

Thorin hesitates as he stands before the grand mansion on the outskirts of London. Finding McTavish’s home address had not been an issue as he was registered at the bar. But now that he is here he is once again unsure whether he is doing the right thing. He does not even know for sure what his intentions are. Officially to drop off Kili’s personal belongings as he had agreed to do. But he really wants to see him. _And then? What will you do then, Thorin?_ He wants to shout out at his own self _I don’t fucking know!!!_ and he wraps his hand so tight around the handle of the suitcase that his knuckles turn white.

He pulls himself together, using all those years in court to keep his mind stable and focused, as he walks up to the front door, then changes his mind and turns to the servant entrance at the side. Perhaps if he can avoid McTavish himself he has a chance to speak to Kili without getting him into trouble. He gives three firm knocks on the oak wood and waits impatiently for an answer.

The door opens and a dark haired man answers and looks up in surprise. "What can I do for you, sir?" he asks shocked to see a well-dressed gentleman using the servants’ door.

“A new servant joined your master’s household today,” Thorin tries to sound calm and kind, hoping it will help get him news of Kili’s well-being. “His name is Kili. I have brought his belongings.” He holds up the suitcase.

The man looks at the suitcase feeling sorry for the boy knowing he will not see any of his belongings again. "Yes sir, we haven't met him yet, sir, but I believe he is here. Would you like me to take the suitcase, sir?" he offers thinking he will try and get out the boy’s valuables before it is given to the master, so he can give it to him at a later date.

“I would give it him myself,” Thorin answers with his intimidating authority.

The servant flinches a little at the voice knowing the tone well as Mr McTavish uses it when threatening his staff " As I said sir he hasn't been brought here yet" he replies politely.

“Then I will wait. As you find him for me,” Thorin gives the man a stern look.

The servant is unsure what to do he knows the boy is currently having the skin taken off his back by Mr McTavish, but he can't very well admit that to the tall gentleman. Eventually he nods, "Then I'll get him for you, sir," he replies knowing this will not end well. He grabs his hat from the nearby stall and begins to walk around the the side of the manor, leading the well-dressed man to the front door and holding the door open for the gentleman. "Would you like to get out of the cold, sir? I hear were due snow," he says politely.

“Indeed, so I hear also,” Thorin nods. He hesitates as as the man begins to walk towards the front door, expecting him to follow. He can guess that it is not Kili who will be called to meet him as he reluctantly follows the servant inside and is asked to wait in the reception room. This is not at all what he wanted. He had hoped to avoid another encounter with Dwalin knowing it would spell bad things for Kili. But other than turn his back and run away like a coward what else can he do? He can hardly refuse to meet the master of the house over wishing to speak to his servant boy. If he wants to see Kili he will have to play the game.

The servant walks directly to the outbuilding he had seen the thin boy being dragged into earlier and can hear his terrified sobs from the outside and knocks on the door.

"This had better be important!" the Scottish man growls and swings open the door.

The servant can see the blood on the man's hands and instantly feels the boy’s pain at the thought of when Mr McTavish had given him this treatment when he was young. 4

“What is it, Adam?" the master snaps.

The servant looks at the brunet and can feel his eyes widen in shock. He is being held by the master’s right hand man with so much force the boy doesn’t have an inch to move. He hadn't been whipped the usual half a dozen times, it must have been at least thirty or forty for he had blood trickling down his back staining his breeches. The boy is shaking with fear and his legs look like they can barely keep himself stood up. Adam has to admire the boy’s strength; many grown men would have been collapsed on the floor, but this teenager was still standing.

"There is a tall gentleman at the door, sir, asking for the boy," he states still looking at the young lad, who suddenly looks up.

Kili can't help but feel a little bit of hope at the mention of a tall gentleman. "MR OAKENSHIELD!!" he hollers and begins fighting against the man holding his arms with determination. "Get off of me!!" he thunders trying to kick out and hit the man holding him.

"Silence him!" Dwalin orders the man known as Joseph, who takes out an old rag and ties it into Kili's mouth.

The Scottish man thunders back to the house knowing he needs to keep his temper with the man this time. He grabs an old rag and wipes the boy’s blood off his hands and enters the reception area. "Good evening, Mr Oakenshield," he says forcing himself to be polite.

Thorin can instantly feel his temples pulse in anger as he looks up at the man. He looks into the man’s cold clear blue eyes and then his gaze slides down towards the cloth that man is holding in his hands. He can see the dark stains on them and his heart misses a beat as he imagines it to be Kili’s blood.

Dwalin follows the man's gaze and looks at the rag. "My youngest, Ella, has a nosebleed," he lies in explanation of the brat's blood.

“I see,” Thorin answers, not truly believing the explanation, but he has no proof to challenge the man any further. “I hope she recovers soon,” he adds through gritted teeth.

The Scottish man forces a smile. "So what brings you to my manor, sir?" he asks already knowing the answer.

“I have bought Kili’s personal belongings,” Thorin answers coolly. “I would give them to him. And wish him well. I did not exactly have a chance to say goodbye before.”

"The boy does not wish to see you I'm afraid sir" he says coolly " he is currently spending time  getting to know his siblings" he finishes.

Thorin stares at him in disbelief and he feels like he has been slapped in the face by the man. “I … see. That is nice for him. It will be nice for him to have brothers and sisters.” He knows he needs to stop rambling and bites his lip. He looks closely at Dwalin, trying to read behind the cold eyes. _Is that really what is going on?_ He can hardly believe it. The man had dragged Kili away calling him every dirty name under the sun and threatened to whip him. “I would still like to speak with him before I leave,” he says, wanting to hear to truth from Kili’s lips and not this untrustworthy creep. “I am in no hurry, I can wait.”

Dwalin walks up close to the man's face “my son does not want to see you sir" he growls “He thinks your personal activities are vile and I do not wish for him to talk to you." He says.

He lowers his eyes at the harsh words. Is that really what Kili had said? He cannot believe it, but then again he had overstepped those boundaries. Had Kili told this man about the kiss? What if his father had explained to him exactly how deprived men like him were, as all of society seemed to say. Had that made him change his mind about what had happened? “I understand,” he says softly, feeling his heart break. He looks up into those clear eyes again, feeling like the wind has been knocked out of him. “In that case, may I leave his things with you, sir?”

The Scottish man takes a few notes out of his pocket and hands them to the other man of the law " this is for his clothing and board since he has been with you" he says handing him the money and taking the suitcase "I'll see he gets its it" he lies.

Thorin stares at the money in disgust and feels like he has just been bribed to go away and never come back and it slaps him back into reality. “I have no need for you money, McTavish,” he snaps, slamming the notes down on the side table. He narrows his eyes at the bald Scot and takes a step forward, pointing his finger at the man. “You had best be telling me the truth about Kili. If he does not wish to see me, I will have to accept that. But my door will always be open for him. He is a good boy and you had better treat him as such. Or you will have me to answer to.” He snaps his jaw shut, knowing he should not be making such threats in the man’s own home, but he cannot help himself.

Dwalin narrows his eyes and squares up to the man. "You do not tell me how to treat my family in my own home, sir," he growls, taking deep breaths and trying to get his emotions back in check. "May I kindly ask you to leave," he says pointing to the door.

He knows he has no choice. The man has been nothing but polite to him and he has to his word of honour. He turns on his heels and storms out of the door before his mouth runs away with him again. As he stands outside he glances up to the windows above, praying to catch a glimpse of Kili staring back at him from inside the manor house. But there is no-one. He walks slowly towards the end of the road to pick up a carriage to take him back him. Even though it is not even four o’clock in the afternoon, he longs to drown his sorrows for the rest of the day and not have to deal with the battle of his emotions any more.

Dwalin walks back through the manor and out to his outbuilding. As he re-enters he looks at the boy who has now gone chalk white due to blood loss. "Ungag him!” he orders to the bulky man holding him, who does so immediately.

"Where is Mr Oakenshield? I want my master!" Kili shouts.

The Scottish man pulls his hand back and slaps his face hard. "I am your master, you imp of Satan!" he thunders. "And it is no use shouting for your precious Thorin Oakenshield. He does not want you, he said so himself. He even brought your stuff. He never wanted you," the Scottish man sneers.

“That … that's not true," Kili answers but unsurely this time. What if the man was right? He thought back to the kiss they shared. No he isn't right, he can't be! "No, you lie! He does want me, he told me so!" he shouts, which earns him another slap around the face.

"No boy, he wanted an easy servant who would do as he wants and he got landed with a useless brat like you. Why do you think he came to me, hmm? Because he has no use for a scrawny boy like you. Did you think that he cared about you? He wanted an easy whore and decided you weren't even worth that," the bald man states venomously and is pleased to see the tears roll down the boy’s face. " You are mine now, boy. My slave and no-one will ever come for you. I mean, who would miss a filthy son of a wench? You are all alone, you faggot bastard.”

He leaves the boy sobbing on the floor as he can see the words sink into his soul.

  
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili, Dwalin and Dwalin's servants written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin, Thranduil, and Thranduil's family written by LadyLuna

As he sits slumped against the black leather upholstery of the carriage he wrings his hands in frustration and heartache over the happenings of the day. And as he does so he realises with a shock that his wedding ring is missing. “Arwen …” he whispers to himself, feeling his heart grow even colder. He had loved his wife dearly - the only woman he had ever loved and it was part of the reason why he had turned to rent boys in the first place, swearing to never love or lay with another woman after he had lost her. Truth was he had subsequently found that he most definitely prefered to company of men, something that deep down he had always known. But he still mourned his one true love in life and the thought that he had lost one of the few tokens that reminded him of her churns his stomach. He raises himself up and bangs loudly on the front of the carriage. When it slowly comes to a halt he sticks his head out of the window. “Take me to the Anchor at Southwark,” he changes his instruction to the driver. He must have lost it in the scuffle with Dwalin McTavish, he thinks, his heart pounding in his chest.

When the carriage finally pulls up in front of the pub, he jumps out and after settling his fare starts to scan the pavement. Of course there is nothing there, if it had indeed fallen off here it would be long gone by now. It is a valuable jewel that would buy a family a decent meal for several months - such an item would not be left lying around the streets for long.

With a heavy heart he walks back into the pub for a third time that day and walks straight up to the bar. “Goodday sir,” the barman greets him eyeing him somewhat suspiciously, no doubt wondering why he is back here again and whether he is out to cause more trouble, especially now that the bruising is starting to appear around his nose.

“Good day. When I was here earlier, it appears I lost a ring. It is a family heirloom and very valuable to me. I was hoping that perhaps someone had found it and given it to you for safekeeping,” he tries desperately.

But the barman shakes his head. “No, sir, nothing was left. Been here all day as y’know. Seen nothing.”

Thorin nods sadly. “Thank you for your trouble.” He will have to take the man’s word of it as he turns back round thinking that this day cannot get any worse. “Actually,” he sighs, facing the man once more. “I will have double brandy from you.” #

\---

Kili jolts with shock at the sudden coldness and feels his body ache and spasm with pain. He has to bite the side of his mouth to stop himself crying out and looks into cold unloving blue eyes, so different from the blue of Mr Oakenshield’s. His eyes brim at the thought of his previous master and his harsh words and he forces himself to look into the eyes of his new master. He can see the hate behind Mr McTavish's eyes and wonders what he has ever done to him.

"Get up now, you swine," Dwalin orders with a growl and grabs the boy’s arm and yanks him up, causing the boy to yelp.

Kili can feel fear at the brute’s touch; _surely you shouldn't be scared of your own father?_ he thinks to himself as he is forced to his feet. He wants collapse immediately at the pain all over his body, but forces himself to remain on his feet.

"You will move to the servant quarters now. And if I hear any trouble out of you, I'll whip you again, do you understand, you filthy mongrel?" Dwalin asks and when he does not get an answer he hits the back of Kili’s head. " Answer me!" he orders and with a enjoyment watches the boy tremble .

"Yes, sir," Kili replies, trying to stay up straight and not pass out. He feels dizzy due to loss of blood and all he wants to do is curl into a ball and sleep.

"Good. Now get out of these clothes. I will not have my servant in the clothes of a gentleman. Now strip!" the Scotsman orders, chucking a plain tunic and some breeches at the boys feet.

Kili begins to panic remembering Mr Oakenshield’s ring is in his coat pocket and as he bends down he slips it out of the deep pocket and into his shoe.

Getting changed into the clothing is slow. Due to his injuries he cannot move fast; his body seems to have stiffened and to bend actually makes him cry out. After a few failed attempts the Scottish man begins to lose his temper and walks over to the boy grabbing at the clothing roughly. "Please sir, I'm going as fast as I can," he sobs as the Scottish man begins ripping the clothing.

"Not quick enough, you dirty fag," he says ripping the last bit of clothing off and leaving the teenager in nothing but his cottons. He smiles as he can see the evidence of his control over the boy as he sees severe bruising to the boys side. He begins circling him as if he was a vulture and Kili is his prey. He notices some healing scarring to the teens top buttocks area and can make out the markings of a cane and can't help but smile broadly. "So he did discipline you at some point. What did you do?" he sneers.

Kili wants to ignore the man but knows he will be struck if he does. He thinks about telling the truth, but instantly dismisses it and flinches at the thought of the Scottish man's reaction. " I … I broke a valuable clock," he lies as the older man traces a scar with his finger. He begins to shiver as the cold sets in and looks nervously at the big man he knows as Joseph who is still in the room.

Dwalin picks up the clothing and starts roughly manhandling the lanky teen, making sure to catch the fresh wounds as he gets him dressed.

"Now walk, boy. And don't be slow or it will earn you another beating," he promises and watches the boy hurriedly begin to walk.#

\----

Thranduil throws his son a warning look as he is pushing his food around the plate. “You had better eat every morsel of that,” he warns him. Legolas has always been a fussy eater, but he will not have food thrown out just because his son chooses not to like it, whilst there are children his age begging for food in the city.

Legolas scowls but nods his add. “Yes, father.” He continues to stabat his food  for a little longer, but makes sure to shove regular bites into his mouth - pulling a face at each one - to keep his father happy. The last time he had crossed him he had been hungry for two days and he does not fancy a repeat of that.

Thranduil smiles and then turns his attention back to his wife. “So the contract seems to be pretty certain now,” he says brightly.

“That is wonderful,” his wife smiles back at him. He knows she has little interest in the details behind his work - he does not expect her to really and Thorin’s keen interest in his work makes up for that tenfold - but this contract means they will stay in London for probably another year at the very least. He knows she and their son are weary of all the travelling and they both like the city. It will be good for them to remain settled for a while longer, he thinks.

And also it means he can meet up with Thorin for another year…

“I thought …” He is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. “Were you expecting anyone?” he asks his dear wife. But she shakes her head. Of course not, it would be rather inappropriate for a lady of the house to expect visitors this late.

Moments later his butler appears. “Yes, Bill, who is it?”

“A gentleman asking for you, sir.”

Thranduil raises his eyebrows - he too is not expecting visitors - but he wipes his hands and excuses himself from the table. As he walks into the hallway his heart skips a beat as he recognises the outline and he makes sure to close the door to the dining room behind him before he proceeds.

“Thorin!” he hisses as the man turns to face him. “What on earth are you doing here?!” Before his lover has said a word he can see that not only is he rather worse for wear from too much to drink, he also has bruising spreading across his face. “Christ, what has happened to you?!”

“Kili is gone,” Thorin slurs, swaying slightly. “My wedding ring is gone,” he holds up his bare hand, showing the missing jewel. “Needed to see you.”

Thranduil grabs him by the arm and drags him into the reception room. “Damn it, Thorin, you cannot come here! You cannot come to my home! We agreed that.” He wants to rant more over his lover’s foolishness, but Thorin pulls such a kicked puppy look at him, that he feels his annoyance at his recklessness drain away from him. “Why is Kili gone?” he asks, forcing Thorin to sit down before he falls over.

“I took him to his father.” Thorin slumps into the chair.

Thranduil looks closely at him. “I take it by the fact that you look like you have been in a punch up that that is not a good thing?”

Thorin buries his head in his hands. “No,” he whispers through his fingers and he begins to sob.

“Alright,” Thranduil sighs, getting to his feet. “You, need to go home now. We cannot have this conversation here, you know that. I am going to finish my dinner with my family and then I will come over.” He pulls Thorin to his feet and forces him to look at him. “Did you understand any of what I just said?”

“Yes,” Thorin sighs, feeling the world spin.

“Good. My valet will take you to get a carriage back home. Can you be trusted to do that? Without saying anything to him you should not be saying?” He grabs Thorin’s face with both hands. “Promise me, Thorin,” he urges.

Thorin shrugs him off him. “I have lost him to protect you,” he snarls. “So don’t you patronise me now, Thran...duil,” he slurs, but lets himself be pushed back towards the front door and promptly be handed over into the care of Thranduil’s private servant.

“Thank you, Mr Oakenshield,” Thranduil nods his goodbye to him. “I wish you a safe journey home and a good night.” He watches his intoxicated friend be guided towards the road, before he turns back to finish his meal, which has probably gone cold now.

His wife knows better than to ask him about his private business and they finish the meal in silence as his mind is churning as to what has happened to get Thorin in such a state. He knows his lover likes a drink, especially when he seeks to indulge in the forbidden pleasures that he still tries to deny himself when he is sober. But this is quite a different situation altogether.

When they have all finished, with Legolas hurriedly finishing off his plate before his father has to avoid his punishment, he quickly gets to his feet. “Get the boy to bed,” he instructs his wife. “I have matters to attend to in town tonight.”

“So late?” she enquiries, but quickly averts her eyes. It is not proper for her to question her husband. She is no fool, her husband had stopped visiting her room a long time ago and even before that their lovemaking had been for the purpose of producing an heir for him - a duty she had now fulfilled. She has decided long ago not to think about what business he seeks in the city. Some days she feels hurt by it, his lack of desire for her, but equally she knows he cares greatly for her and Legolas and is a good husband in many respects. She has learnt to accept that his heart has never belonged to her. #

\---

Kili is shown the long hall by Joseph. It is late and he had hoped to just go to sleep but has no hope of that now.

"The master wants this floor cleaned so well he could eat his dinner off of it. You understand?" Joseph asks. He feels sympathy for the poor lad. He may have had to hold his arms during his beating, but he wasn't heartless; he did what he needed to do to feed his family.  The boy should be resting and nursing his wounds not cleaning the floor at eight o'clock in the evening.

"Yes mister," Kili replies using all his effort to stay awake. His body feels so very worn and he has not got the energy to cry although that is all he wants to do. He wants to sob for all he has lost today. The pain of being chucked away from the man he loves and the betrayal is so raw and fresh that his heart feels like it has been ripped out of his chest and stamped on.

The strong Welshman looks at the boy and can see his worn body fight for rest. "I'll bring you a bucket and brush, lad, just stay here" he says leaving the boy alone.

 _So this is my life now,_ Kili thinks to himself. _I am a rich man's bastard son and am to be worked like a slave. Is this what you wanted for me, ma?_ he thinks angrily.

Joseph brings back the bucket and scrubbing brush to the boy, then hastily exits knowing it will do the boy - _Kili?,_ he thinks, he may have heard it at some point earlier -no good to neglect his duties.

Kili lets out a sigh then begins his work, cursing his mother's stupid ability to see good where there is none.

It takes him hours to do the whole hall but eventually he is down to the last square. His body aches all over; not that it didn't anyway, but it felt like even his bruises had bruises.

He hears the door open and watches as three large dogs with muddy paws run down the corridor, followed by the master walking through with muddy boots. "I would have thought you would have finished by now, filth!" he says with a sneer on his face. "You have a long night ahead of you," he mocks and continues to walk down the hall.

Kili longs to lunge for the heartless man. To punch and kick him and inflict the same pain as he has had inflicted on him. He cannot help but let out an angry sob at the injustice of it all as he watches the bully of a man open a door at the end and give him a mocking smile before shutting the door behind him. #

\---

Thranduil is relieved to find that Thorin at least made it back home, even though he looks even worse than he did just over an hour ago when he answers the door. “So what is going on?” he does not bother with pleasantries as he pushes his way past Thorin and into the lounge. He eyes the half empty bottle on the table and pours himself a glass, deciding that his lover has had enough for now as he puts the bottle away in the drinking cabinet. “Sit and talk,” he orders the black-haired gentleman.

Thorin takes a seat next to the blond, burying his face in his hands once more. He shivers as he can feel the other man run his hand over his back in a soothing manner. “I meant to do the right thing,” he sighs. “For Kili. But I am worried for him.”

“I need you to start at the beginning, darling, as I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Thranduil says. “All I know is that Kili was your housekeeper’s son. Now you are telling me you have taken him to his father. Just tell me the whole story, start to finish.”

Thorin looks up into the beautiful eyes of his special friend and nods as he leans himself back. And slowly he relates the promise to Dis, how he knows McTavish from the bar, about taking Kili to Harrod’s to get him cleaned and dressed up and how he had arranged and met McTavish himself the day before, including his instant dislike of the brash Scot. It takes Thranduil some prodding and re-clarifying his lover’s slightly confusing tale, but in the end he thinks he has understood most of it.

“So today you took him to meet his father?” Thranduil prompts the next bit in the conversation as Thorin has fallen still.

His dark-haired friend stares straight ahead and then says softly, “I kissed him.”

There is strained silence between them for only a second and Thorin immediately regrets saying it, wishing he could take it back.

“You kissed _him_ …” Thranduil repeats slowly. “You kissed … Kili?”

“Yes.”

To his surprise Thranduil begins to laugh. “Thank the Lord for that!” he exclaims. “I thought for a moment you were going to tell me you kissed his father!”

Thorin stares at him with bulging eyes. “You are an idiot,” he scolds, but he cannot help but smile.

“I knew you would.”

“What?”

“I am not daft, Thorin. I could see the way you two were looking at each other before. And I told you he was cute.”

Thorin smiles a sad smile as he thinks of that day that Thranduil had first met Kili and how he had tried to stir his jealousy. Now he wonders in hindsight who he had been more jealous of. “I forgot myself,” he tries to explain his actions nonetheless. “I should not have … But the thought that I might not see him again …”

“Did he like it?”

Thorin looks back at his lover, who is smiling brightly at him.

“The kiss - did he return it?”

Thorin snorts. “Yes. A little too much perhaps as he made for the button of my trousers whilst we were still in the carriage.”

Thranduil laughs. “Keen, I like it! And yet you kept your hands to yourself?” He watches Thorin nod as he blushes. “Why, I am impressed, darling. You must really care for him to show such restraint.”

“I do,” Thorin acknowledges.

“So tell me about today. Clearly things have not gone to plan now that Kili is not here and your face is becoming more colourful by the minute.” He listens attentively as Thorin tries to remember every detail of the encounter with Dwalin in the Anchor, from the way he had spoken to Kili, how he had manhandled the boy and how Thorin had had a change of heart about the whole situation, realising that this was surely not Dis’ wish - to send her son to live with such a heartless brute of a man who thought Kili not worth the dust on his boots. How he had tried to take Kili back, only to end up fighting with the barrister like streetdogs. And how McTavish had threatened to make public his private affairs, not knowing the extent of what he knew and how concerned he had been not just for himself but also for Thranduil. He also tells him about his second encounter with McTavish later that day as he had tried to speak to Kili, worried as he was for his safety and well-being. And how the man had said that Kili was getting to know his new family and wanted nothing more to do with a queer like him. By that point in his story he can feel the tears begin to run down his face again and he flinches as he wipes them away angrily, brushing against his bruised face.

He leans against his lover as Thranduil pulls him into an embrace. “I don’t know what to say,” the American says after a short while. “Thank you for trying to protect me. Us. And I am so sorry for what has happened.” He does not know this man that Thorin speaks of but he trusts his lover for his honesty and from everything he has told him he does not think that this man will be treating Kili pleasantly.

“I want him back,” Thorin sobs against him. “I should not have let him go. He wanted to stay, begged me to take him back home with me.” He turns to face the American. “I want him back with me, Thranduil, and to know he is safe.”

The tall blond strokes gently through his hair. “You cannot just _have him back_ , Thorin,” he says calmly. “There are a lot of things we need to work out and at the moment I do not know how. Like what does Kili want - does he still want to come back here? You can hardly drag him back kicking and screaming. But if you think this Mr McTavish is treating him badly … You will need proof, Thorin. And even then it will be difficult. A barrister … Well, at least you are on even par with him. But it will not be easy to convince anyone that he has done more than just discipline the boy. And if he is saying he has taken him in as his son …” He wants to offer his lover words of comfort, but at the moment he has none to offer.

“Will you help me?” Thorin asks softly. He knows he is asking much. This is none of Thranduil’s business and the foundations of their relationship were built on the agreement that they would not get involved in each other’s daily lives.

Thranduil takes a long deep breath. “I make no promises, darling,” he say honestly. “I have my family to protect as well. But I will see what I can do. I am sorry, I do not mean to sound cowardly, but …”

“I could ask no more,” Thorin interrupts him and pulls him into a hard, deep kiss.

The American lets himself be explored by his older lover, defenseless as he is against the handsome man’s advances. Thorin is rough with him today, as he tends to be when he has had far too much to drink, and he grabs at him almost painfully.

“Want you … Now …” Thorin growls at him as he yanks at his shirt.

“Alright, my love, you need just ask,” Thranduil grins and he gets to his feet and drags Thorin with him to the man’s bedchamber. As they fall onto the large bed in a heap of tangled arms and legs, Thranduil struggles to take off his and Thorin’s clothes as the other seems incapable of undressing himself. “One day we will do this when you actually know what is going on,” he smirks as he pulls down Thorin’s slacks.

The Englishman pushes him down hard against the mattress as he ruts himself up between his legs. He grinds himself down harder and harder against his lover’s stirred arousal, but the ample alcohol has taken its toll on his own performance. He shouts out in frustration, slamming his fist down into the pillows.

“Yeah this really is not happening is it, darling,” Thranduil laughs as his lover’s temper and frustration. He rolls the other man off him and onto his front as he straddles his backside. “Shall I do the honours tonight then, my lovely?”

Thorin grunts an approval. They have been this way round before. In fact the very first time they had lain together was when Thranduil had seduced him and it was the first - and only - time he had ever been taken by a man. They had both found since that they preferred it the other way around with each other, but as Thranduil had pointed out that was not going to happen tonight with Thorin suffering brewers droop.

Thranduil shuffles himself down and sinks his teeth into his lover’s backside, earning him a yelp and a failed swat. “Hm, haven’t seen you like this for me in a long time,” he grins as he digs his fingers into the soft flesh. “All compliant and submissive.”

“I’m not …” Thorin groans, but gives up on the rest of the sentence.

“You’re not? Well, perhaps you need to be taught some humility then.” And he slaps his flat hand down hard onto Thorin’s backside, admiring the red print it leaves behind. Thorin tries to turn himself around, but the American has him pinned firmly in place. “Where do you think you are going?” he teases before sliding his arm underneath Thorin’s pelvis and hoisting him onto his knees.

Thorin snarls at him, realising Thranduil is lining him up like a common dog and again he tries to to move, but Thranduil grabs his hips hard and pulls him back, slapping him against the American’s pelvis, feeling his erection throb between his buttocks.

“You want to fuck, you take it as I give it you,” Thranduil grins as he spreads Thorin wide for him and spits down onto his crease and equally slicks his cock with his saliva. He probably should prepare Thorin a little better since it has been such a while since the other man has taken it up the backside, but Thranduil is not as patient as Thorin is with him.

Thorin whines and thrashes as he is stretched by his lover’s cockhead. Words that should not be in any gentleman’s vocabulary spill from his lips as he is slowly opened and filled up roughly and he claws his hands into the blankets.

“Come on, darling, you can take it,” Thranduil encourages him. “Lord, you are tight though,” he gasps as Thorin grips him even harder when he slides past the initial barrier. “Like a little virgin ass,” he smirks drawing another indignant hiss from his older lover.

“I can … take you,” Thorin snarls. “Damn you, you American bastard, do it already!”

Thranduil needs no more encouragement as he pushes himself in to the hilt, relishing the gasps and whimpers of his partner. He gives Thorin barely a moment to adjust before he pulls back and pushes in hard again. He expects Thorin to complain and tell him to take it easy, but instead the other braces himself against the bed and demands, “More! Harder, damn you!”

They do not normally go this rough on each other, but Thranduil feels that Thorin deserves this treatment for turning up on his doorstep earlier and Thorin seems to demand a perverted self-punishment from him in return for what has happened to Kili. Thorin keens and mewls like a streetcat as the blond ploughs into him with more vigour on every thrust. “You are gonna be sore tomorrow, darling,” he takes a momentary breather as he bends down to kiss the sweat pooling in the dip of Thorin’s back.

“Good!” Thorin whimpers in his martyrdom. “Again! Knock me hard!”

Thranduil shift himself to find better leverage and pounds himself into that tight heat again, watching Thorin jolt forward on every thrust. He is close now, aided by the tight heat gripping hard at his pulsing length still, and he grabs for Thorin’s privates, pulling hard at his lobcock, making him yelp. “Beg me, you rich whore,” he groans against Thorin’s back. “Beg me to fill you.”

“Fetch, you bull!” Thorin shouts out as he is thrust forward again, the slap of their bodies coming together resonating in the air. “Do it, you fucking mary!”

Thranduil laughs at Thorin’s crude demands in his drunken state, before his chuckles turn into lustful moans as he shoots his seed inside his lover’s cockchannel. Thorin wails as he is pounded hard and deep as Thranduil releases inside him and collapses heavily on the bed as soon as Thranduil seems done, his American lover on top of him.

“You like that, my lovely buttock?” Thranduil whispers heatedly in his ear.

“Yes,” Thorin groans as he feels the man’s cock slip from him.

“Good,” Thranduil soothes as he strokes through Thorin’s thick hair and places soft kisses on the back of his neck. He rolls half off of him and briefly curls up against him. “I have got to go home now, darling. But I will pop round during the week, just to make sure you are alright. Alright, my darling?” He strokes his hand slowly over Thorin’s back, down on his tailbone and over his abused backside. “And I will try my best to think of a way to help Kili,” he promises. “You sleep now. And look after yourself.”

Thorin turns his head slightly to accept a goodbye kiss from his lover. “Thanks,” he whispers as he drifts off into a restless, haunted sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victorian slang :  
> knock = fuck  
> lobcock = large, flaccid cock  
> to fetch = to come  
> bull = as we know it, male cow. However, Victorians considered this a symbol of sexual potency and as such it became a taboo word with sexual connotations  
> mary = homosexual  
> buttock = also “whore”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili, Adam and Dwalin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin, Mr Gorrie and Mr Jackson, and Thranduil written by LadyLuna

Kili sits in the small window looking out into the dark night, just as he had done every day since he had been brought to this horrid place - not talking to anyone, barely eating, just looking out the window, trying to find an escape route, to figure out the weakest point of security.

He longs to be back in Erebor Hall sat in the shack with his mother, being scorned for his latest troublesome adventure. Not sat in a kitchen with a bunch of people he did not know, in a house that so far brought him nothing but pain and sadness.

He feels a tap on his shoulder and flinches, expecting pain, but when none comes he looks up into the face of a man with wavy brown hair and a moustache. "Eat, lad, you have hardly had anything for days," he says kindly holding out a large bowl of stew and some crusty bread.

Kili feels his mouth turn from a grimace to a smile for the first time since he has arrived at the dark house. "Thank you," he croaks, accepting the food and taking a huge bite out of the bread.

The man sits next to the boy a with a mug of tea in his hand. "What's your name, lad?" he asks, trying to talk softly as not to scare him. He had watched as the boy had been run ragged over the last four days. He had been worked harder than any of the other servants and had been regularly hit.

Kili is reluctant to talk to anyone, fearing the master’s anger, which he seemed to like taking out on his body. He looks at the man's encouraging smile. “Kili," he says, quietly returning his gaze to the window.

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Adam, " the moustached man says kindly, hoping the boy might relax as he looks as stiff as a board." So how did you come to work for Mr McTavish? " he asks kindly.

Kili looks back at him knowing he cannot tell the truth about his unfortunate situation. He decides to tell a half truth. "My old master didn't want me and I have nowhere else to go," he admits, taking a spoonful of the stew.

"You haven't got no family or friends who could have helped?" The Welshman asks, shocked as he thinks of the expensive coat the boy had when he first came.

Kili shakes his head at the kind man. "My mother is dead," he says. Then thinks about his father, the man who is currently using him as a punch bag. “As is my father," he, adds wishing it was true. "As for friends, I am alone in this world," he answers miserably and looks again out of the window. He thinks about Mr Oakenshield for what must be the dozenth time today. _He does not want you, has never wanted you, you stupid idiot,_ he tells himself and puts his food down on the window ledge.

Adam watches the boy closely and can see pain flash across his face. He gently grasps the boys shoulder. "Come join us by the fire he says gently.

Kili allows himself to be guided and is offered an old chair. Within seconds he can feel himself drifting into a deep sleep.

 

* * *

 

It has been four days since Kili was dragged away by his father and the repeat of that scene in his nightmares has not gotten any easier. He has tried hard to carry on with his life and his work. After all he cannot let a man hang because his mind is focused on his own troubles. But as he makes his way to jailhouse to meet his client and the man’s solicitor before Monday’s hearing he knows that he is distracted. Everything seems to remind him of Kili, the carriage ride, the route it takes, the weather. He is beginning to fear for his own sanity as his concerns for the servant boy seem to have turned into an unhealthy obsession that has destroyed his appetite and ruined his normally determined focus on his work.

He has also not heard from Thranduil since his last visit on that same fateful day, although he is not sure whether to be grateful for that to at least be spared his embarrassment a little longer. He had broken one of the golden rules of their relationship and then failed to perform in the bedchamber. He cringes at the thought of facing his handsome lover cold sober and decides he really needs to moderate his alcohol intake somewhat.

As he stares out of the window of the carriage he finds his mind drifting again, wondering what Kili is doing right now. It has been only four days, he reminds himself. He may still keep his promise. It is Sunday tomorrow. At Erebor Hall he had given Kili Sundays off. He wonders if McTavish will let the boy have a day off. And if so, will he come to visit him as they had agreed?

He is roused from his daydream as the carriage pulls up at the jailhouse. Several minutes later he finds himself walking down the dark corridor alongside the older solicitor - a man he has known and worked with for many years - as they are led to the cell of his client. He braces himself against the foul smell of damp and human excrement as they pass the other cells.

“Sir!” the client throws himself against the bars of his cell as soon as his solicitor and his defence lawyer appear.

“Get back!” the jailer snarls at the man and threatens him with his baton, before opening the cell door. The other three men inside barely look up as the red-headed man is pulled out of the cell.

“Sir,” the red-head chatters to his solicitor as they are guided towards a small room at the end of the corridor. “Are they going to release me?”

Thorin sighs. The man appears to have the intelligence of goose and it is instantly evident to him why the case file has been so poorly put together.

“Not yet. The hearing is on Monday, remember. That is the day after tomorrow,” the solicitor says calmly.

The jailer grins as all three men take a seat. He locks the door behind them and keeps watch on the other side of the door, keen as always to listen in to the talks of the barrister with his clients - it is always interesting to hear people air their dirty laundry in front of their lawyer.

“So Mr Gorrie,” Thorin begins, “I understand Mr Jackson here has explained to you why I am here today. Your case is being heard on Monday and I will be pleading on your behalf. However, there are a number of things I really need to clarify,” he says sternly as he pulls out the notes of the case so far. “You still have not yet given an explanation for the money found on your person well above your weekly wage.”

Mr Gorrie shifts nervously. “I didn’t do it,” he whines to his solicitor again. “I did not kill that man!”

“You need to answer my question, Mr Gorrie,” Thorin says forcefully. “And you need to tell me the truth. I cannot defend you unless I have all the facts. Or are you ready to face the gallows?”

“No!” the red-head lets out a pained sob. “Please, mister. I did take the money, I did! But I swear he was already dead!”

Thorin leans back with a heavy sigh as he watches Mr Jackson cringe at the admission. Robbery of a dead man, without calling for help … Marvellous. So his defence to get this client off the murder charge is another crime, which will equally see the man executed.” He considers his options for the moment. “You are not making this any easier for yourself, Mr Gorrie.” He looks at Mr Jackson and then closely at the nervous man. “You have to give me something to work with here. Do you have any idea who killed Mr Furlonger?”

The other man just stares at him blankly, refusing to loosen his tongue, and Thorin is beginning to lose his patience with him. “Why,” he states as he closes his notes again and starts to put them away, “in that case, I will see you at the Old Bailey on Monday, sir.” He shoves his chair back and slowly gets to his feet. “I will do my best for you, but I would make sure to say my prayers tomorrow if I were you.” He turns towards the door.

He can hear the two men whisper agitatedly behind his back as he waits patiently, having played this game many times before.

“Wait!” the accused suddenly shouts out at him. “I … I may know something …”

Thorin stays still for a moment, but does not face the man. “Speak then,” he orders, his back still turned.

“It was Geoffrey’s son, sir,” he whispers, shaking. He is terrified of the man, but if he is to hang for him he has nothing to lose. “He … he …”

Thorin slowly turns back and takes his seat opposite the man again. “Daniel Geoffrey?” he raises an eyebrow as he pulls his papers out again. “The butcher? You are accusing him of Mr Furlonger’s murder? That is a serious accusation, Mr Gorrie. You are sure of this?”

“Yes!” the red-haired man squeals. “He said he was just going to rough him up a lil’, sir. That’s all he said. ‘Cuz he’d been spreading lies about him, he said. About him selling dog meat for beef.”

 _Now we are getting somewhere,_ Thorin thinks with satisfaction. “Do you have proof of this?”

“I … I don't know … sir.”

“Think, man!” Thorin barks at him. “If you want to see the sundown this Thursday!”

Mr Jackson says some encouraging words to the man who seems to be racking his brain over every little detail. “There was blood. A lot of blood, sir. I remember he stepped in the blood, because I thought what a shame of those nice new shoes, I did, sir.”

“Alright,” Thorin nods. He might be able to do something with this. Especially if he can prove the bit about the rumours of mis-selling of consumer goods. “And the money?”

“He … he took some also, sir. The bit he gave me, said it was to keep me gob shut, sir. I … I did not want to take it first. But well, it was a lotta money, right, and well the guy was dead anyway, right?”

“Right,” Thorin sighs. Well, the man will have to face his maker at one point or another to repent for his sins, but he will try and make sure that it is not yet next week. He finishes off his notes and puts his papers away again. “Thank you both,” he nods and gets to his feet.

“Do you think I will hang, mister?” the man asks, visibly trembling.

“Not if I can help it,” is the best promise Thorin can make. But at least they might now have a chance. And he feels grateful for the distraction from his own troubles as he leaves to prepare his plea.

 

* * *

 

The bells for Sunday church ring and Kili turns over in his little metal bed. He had never been one for God and he certainly wasn't going to start now.

He hears the door open and ignores it when he feels a little shake of his arm. "Kili, you need to get up. Mr McTavish insists all servants go to church," Adam says kindly to his young friend.

"I don't go to church. God never did anything for me,” he says, rolling over on his side facing the wall and closing his eyes.

The Welshman flinches at the blasphemous statement and observes the young man fearfully. "Kili, come on, you know he will punish you for this," he warns and tries to rip the blanket off.

"I said no," Kili bellows angrily and snatches the thin blanket off the older man and pulls it up over himself. _He can be made to do a lot of things but pray to a God he doesn't believe in is isn't one of them_ , he thinks to himself and settles back down closing his eyes.

The next thing he knows he can feel ice cold water dripping down his back. He jumps out of bed and looks into the angry eyes of Mr McTavish who has a bucket in his hand.

"If I say you will go to church, you godless bastard ..." he bellows spitting in the teenager’s face. He pulls back his fist and punches the youth in the eye causing it to a swell instantly adding a new bruise to the collection on the boy’s face. ".. you will go to church!" he continues, then punches the boy’s mouth causing it to bleed.  "You have two minutes! If I have to come back, I will whip you," he threatens and is delighted to see the youth instantly starts stripping off.

 

* * *

 

Thranduil steers his wife and son into the large, but simple church and they take their seats near the back as usual. He throws his son a warning look as he impatiently begins to kick the bench in front. “Do that one more time and you will know about it,” he says sternly.

Legolas stops kicking, pouting his lips, and instead begins to hum, much to his father’s annoyance although he leaves the boy be until the start of the service. As they sit and wait, he watches the members of the congregation enter and each take their place. They have only lived in London for a year and it is not a place where you easily get to know people closely. He knows some of them by name and indeed some of the men he knows from work and they nod politely at him as they spot him. But most of the people here are still strangers to them - the congregation is too large and too diverse to get to know everyone unless you spend more than just a Sunday morning mass here.

He picks up the hymnbook from the bench in front and begins to flick through the pages when a large group enters the church next. He has seen most of them before, a tall gentleman with his wife and children in tow - he counts five of them as they follow their parents towards the front of the church. And next what he presumes are his servant staff. It is not uncommon of whole households to attend church together, neither here in London or in his home country. His own staff attend different churches and he has never insisted on them coming here since he knows it is only temporary. He watches the servant men and women take their seats further at the back, all dressed in modest black and their heads bowed low.

He is just about to turn his attention back to his hymnbook as something draws his attention to one of the younger men at the back. There is something familiar about this lad, something … “Kili!” he whispers out loud.

His wife turns to him. “I’m sorry?” she whispers at him.

“Nothing,” he says hastily, but he keeps his eyes trained on the youngster. His hair is short now, but it is definitely the boy he had seen at Thorin’s place. And he feels the colour drain from him as he catches a glimpse of the young man’s face, with fresh bruising painting colours across his cheek and his swollen eye and lip. He wants to jump to his feet, reach out for the youngster and ask him how he is and who had done this to him. But he knows he can’t just do that and he remains seated, grinding his teeth and silently pleading for the brunet to turn to him, to make eye contact.

Kili can feel eyes on him and begins to scan the crowded house of God when his eyes meet the piercing blue set of Mr Oakenshield’s friend and he can feel his widen as they continue to look at each other.

Then he can feel the gaze of another and looks around to see Mr McTavish glaring at him from the front of the church and lowers his eyes looking at his shoes.

Thranduil struggles to tear away his gaze. He knows the boy has seen him, recognised him. He can hear his wife say something to him, but it does not quite register and he chooses to ignore it as the vicar asks everyone to rise for the opening hymn.

Throughout the service he finds his gaze wander in the boy’s direction. The more he observes him, the more he thinks he looks unwell. Not only is there the obvious bruising on his face, he also shifts uncomfortably every few minutes and grimaces. He wants to talk to the boy - needs to talk to him. But he is not sure how he goes about doing that without raising suspicion.

Kili wants to cry out at the pain in his back. He knew the marks were deep but they had begun oozing foul smelling liquid and every so often would bleed again. He tries to ignore the American man; he fears for his own safety as he catches glances of the Scottish man looking directly at him in warning.

As soon as the service finishes Kili gets up to leave and makes his way to the door as quick as his injuries will let him without drawing suspicion as the congregation mix talking to each other.

“Wait for me at the carriage,” Thranduil tells his wife. “There is someone I want to catch up with before we leave.” And he dashes out of the church, frantically looking for his lover’s servant boy.

He spot him just at the side of the entrance, standing hunched with his back against the wind, trying to give himself some shelter against the cold in his thin clothes. He knows he does not have much time. If the bruising on the lad’s face is his master’s doing then he must try and catch the boy before the big bald man leaves the church.

As soon as he is within reach he clasps the boy’s shoulder. Kili jumps at the touch and immediately covers his face, wondering what he could have done wrong to the Scotsman and screws his eyes shut, readying himself for the impacted of the man's large fist " please sir, I'll behave," he stutters cowering in fear.#

 “Kili, it is me. Thranduil. Thorin’s … friend,” the American says kindly, shocked at the boy’s reaction to his touch as he pulls his hand away.

Kili slowly opens his eyes then looks around to check they are not being watched. "I can't talk to you. He … he will whip me again," he quietly utters and lets out a little sob at the thought of the large whip on his already sore back.

Thranduil flinches as he sees the fear in the young man’s eyes. So close up he can more clearly see the damage done to his face and it is obvious that the fresh bruising is only half of the story as older injuries shimmer under the surface. He also scans the congregation spilling out of the church, but he cannot yet see the large man who he believes is Kili’s master among them. "He has whipped you? What for?" He remembers his last encounter with the boy and wonders if he had been so stupid to make the same mistake again.

“I tried to run away," the teenager says, shifting his feet, unable to look the blond man in the eyes. "I wanted to go back to Mr Oakenshield,” he admits quietly.

"And the black eye?"

"I ... I didn't want to come to church and he didn't like it, so he punched me," Kili replies stuttering and nervously looks around.

Thranduil takes a deep breath. So the boy had been disobedient and deserved to be disciplined. But the level of violence feels excessive, more reminiscent of the punishment of slaves than paid servants and it makes his skin crawl. He has seen so much suffering in his homeland of masters treating people like disposable property, like they were not even human beings with feelings of their own, and he had sworn he would never treat his servants like that nor would not accept it of another.

“Kili, tell me honestly,” he says in a low whisper. “Do you want to go back to Thorin?”

Kili looks into the older man's kind eyes. "Yes. But he doesn't want me back. Mr McTavish said he just wanted a cheap whore and I wasn't even good for that. He said he didn't want me in the first place," he sobs, then can feel anger bubble to the surface. “You said he wanted me. You lied!" he accuses, suddenly remembering the last conversation they had and turns to leave.

Thranduil grabs the youngster’s arm, regretting the flinch of the boy as he does so. “I did not lie to you,” he hisses under his breath. “Do not believe what your master tells you. Thorin … he loves you ...” He knows he has said far too much - Thorin himself probably does not even realise this yet and it is hardly his place to say this to the boy. But Kili looks terrified and has clearly suffered some terrible abuse these last few days. He needs to know that McTavish is lying. That he is wanted, that he is loved.

Kili suddenly feels shock at the man's revelation. "He loves me? He can't love me!" he says astounded. "He loves you," he says confused.

“Sssh, quiet you!” Thranduil warns him, pulling him closer as he flushes, hoping that no-one is overhearing this conversation. “It is not like that between us. Anyway, it is not my place to say. But you need to know this, Kili. He wants you back, you must believe me.” He grabs the boy by the arm again and drags him further away from the entrance. “If you want to go back to Thorin, then I will help you find a way. But we must be careful. Your new master is a powerful man. There are many things at stake here. So I need to be sure you are truthful when you tell me you would go back when I say he wants you back.”

"I love him, mister. I told him so. All I want is to go back. My new master - my father - is an evil man, mister. He will make Mr Oakenshield pay if he tries to get me back, I don't want anything bad to happen to him or you just for helping me," he says more serious than he has ever said anything in his life.

Thranduil smiles at the sweet and caring words of the young boy and he thinks how brave he is to shoulder such pain to protect others. “Thorin and I can look after ourselves,” he says, not quite truthfully as he knows that depending on how much McTavish knows they are playing a very dangerous game here. But he cannot leave the boy, whom his lover cares for so much, to be whipped and beaten black and blue. “We don’t have much time, Kili. Does Mr McTavish ever let you out of the house?”

Kili shakes his head. "No mister, since he took me I have seen nothing but an outbuilding where he has beaten and whipped me and ..." he stops mid-sentence and widens his eyes as he sees the angry face of the Scottish man from the church steps.

"What do you think you are playing at, boy? Did I give you permission to leave?!" he hollers.

“I will get you out, somehow,” Thranduil whispers hurriedly, whilst the Scot is still out of earshot. “I promise.” He does not yet know how, but there is no time to say anymore as the large bald man has caught up with them.

The Scottish man rushes over to the boy and grabs his arm making sure to twist it. He then turns to the blond-haired man, whom he knew was a regular to the church. "I'm sorry about my servant boy bothering you, he will be punished for his mistake," he says, eyeing the boy nastily and is delighted at his scared expression.

“I think there is no need for that, sir,” Thranduil smiles his sweetest smile at the Scot, hoping to God that the man does not know that he is Thorin’s lover, but he gathers from the way the man has spoken that he does not. “Thranduil Boisvert,” he holds out his hand to the man. “My wife and I are still fairly new to London. As I am sure you can hear from my accent I am from the States.”

The Scottish man accepts the American’s hand keeping a firm grip on the servant with the other. "Dwalin McTavish. You and your family will have to join mine for supper one night, sir," he says friendly. He has heard of the American and knows he has good connections in the railways.

"It would be my pleasure," Thranduil smiles through gritted teeth and he thinks mockingly that he should have become an actor rather than an engineer. "As for the boy here,” he nods to Kili, "I was just asking him about the upcoming Christmas Eve mass here as we've not attended it before. And although he told me he's new to this particular church himself he was very polite and helpful as he told me about the customs of this country. He certainly was not bothering me, good sir."

"Well, sounds like he has one good use then," he says, staring down at the boy and then looking back at the American. "How about Wednesday evening at let us say seven o’clock?" he asks.

Thranduil throws Kili a furtive sideways glance. "I think that would suit me, sir,” he smiles at Dwalin. This unexpected turn of events has given him an idea, a possible way to get the boy out from under the Scot’s claws. He will have to speak to Thorin first, but it might just work ...

The Scotsman smiles. "My address is McTavish Manor, Newbury Park. I look forward to it," he says, shaking the man's hand then looking down at the servant. "Come boy you have work to do," he growls and drags the teenager away.

 

* * *

 

When the doorbell rings he intends to ignore it. He has much work left to do before tomorrow’s hearing and he is no mood from visitors. But whoever it is is persistent and eventually he angrily shoves back his chair and storms down the hallway.

When he yanks open the door he is more than surprised to find his American friend standing on his doorstep. “Thranduil … I was not expecting you tonight …” He feels a tingle run down his spine. There is normally only one reason for the man’s visit - or at least one outcome of it - and his body seems to instinctively know it.

But Thranduil’s face is uncharacteristically serious as he steps inside. He does not say anything until Thorin has closed the door behind him and followed him back into the lounge. There he turns to face him and looks him in the eyes as he quietly says, “I saw Kili today.”

Thorin feels like the wind has been knocked out of him. “Oh Lord .... Where? How is he? Is he okay? Did you speak to him?”

Thranduil pulls his friends into a tight embrace before dragging him down onto the sofa with him. “He was at church this morning, with McTavish and his entire household.”

“Is he alright?” Thorin urges his lover again. But from the brief silence that follows he can tell he is not.

“He has been disciplined,” Thranduil tries not the panic the Englishman. “He tried to run away once and McTavish gave him the whip for it. And he also has bruising on his face.”

He looks at his lover who buries his head in his hands. “Did you speak to him?” Thorin asks as he looks back up.

“I did. He tells me he wants to come back to you, Thorin.” He runs a hand over his back as he does when he tries to sooth his friend and lover. “That he loves you.”

Thorin gasps as Thranduil says the words. He shakes his head in disbelief. “He is a fool,” he whispers. He had told the boyhe should not waste his time with such foolish thoughts. _Then why do you feel such elation to hear he still does, Thorin?_

“He may be,” Thranduil smiles. “But he means it. And damn it, Thorin, I know you'll deny it but you feel the same about him."

Thorin flushes but does not respond. It is a ridiculous suggestion. He barely knows the boy! He does not _love_ him. So he has certain urges for him, but that does not mean he loves him. The very thought of it is laughable; the boy is less than half his age, and a class apart. Yet he knows that the kiss he had shared with Kili had felt different to the heated tonguing he shares with Thranduil. He knows it was more than just forbidden lust. But he shakes himself to order and ignoring the improper suggestion he tries to focus on the matters at hand as he asks, “Then will he leave? Will McTavish let him go?”

Thranduil shakes his head. “I doubt it. Not just like that. He sees the boy as his property.” He puts a hand on Thorin’s thigh now, squeezing him gently. “But I may have an idea. McTavish has no idea who I am in relation to you or Kili. I think he just sees me as a worthwhile business contact as he has invited me and my wife for dinner on Wednesday.”

Thorin looks at him with wide eyes. “What did you say?”

“I accepted. I may have thought of a way to get Kili back to you.”

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Dwalin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin, Aunt Molly and Bilbo written by LadyLuna

The adrenaline rush that he always feels when he pleads in court is slowly beginning to subside. It had been a good first day, he felt. Considering how weak the casefile had been just the previous week, his visit to his client in jail had given him some very useful leads and after a bit more digging he had gathered enough evidence to throw some serious doubt onto the prosecution’s case. He had revelled in the challenges that his opposite number had thrown at him, batting every argument back or twisting it to his advantage. It was what he did best and as he felt that he was gaining credibility, he could feel that rush of excitement flush through him. It was like a drug, better than absinth or brandywine. Sometimes he thought it was even more satisfying than sex when he managed to win what was deemed an impossible case by all.

Mr Jackson shakes his hand heartily. “I have a good feeling,” he says, a little intimidated by Thorin’s almost visibly pulsing aura of energy.

“Never speculate before the judge has lowered his hammer,” Thorin reproaches. He finds the court makes him ludicrously superstitious.

“No, no, of course not,” Mr Jackson quickly replies as they both watch the accused be taken away back to his cell by his guards. “Still, you are a remarkable man to watch in action, Mr Oakenshield. I have said it before and I will say it again, if ever I found myself in trouble it would be you I want defending me.”

Thorin keeps a straight face as he thanks the man for his kind words but inside he is buzzing like a beehive. “We will see each other again tomorrow,” he takes his leave, knowing that there are a few more difficult days ahead.

When he finally walks through the door of his professional residence, he is surprised to find that his excitement is knocked out of him as soon as he enters the empty apartment. He had never before cared for the fact that he lived alone for the majority of the year. Had always found that his bachelor-like existence in London suited him just fine as he only needed to worry about himself. But today he wishes that he could share his excitement with someone. No, not _someone_. Kili. The boy had shown a real interest in his work and the workings of the court and law system. And he wishes he could tell the boy about the clever tricks he had played. How the plaintiff had tied his tongue in knots over the question about the motive. And most of all he longs for Kili’s amazing cooking to finish off this day just perfectly.

Instead he sinks onto the sofa alone, feeling his concern and his heartache for Kili return with a vengeance. No matter how excited he feels about how well the case was going, all of that fades into oblivion as his mind fills with dread for the young man.

 

Kili sits in front of the fire in the servant quarters waiting for the other servants and their families to retire to their beds for the night. Since he had seen Mr Oakenshield’s friend at the church the day before he had not been able to get the idea of freedom out of his head.

He needs to get away from the hell he is currently living; it had not even been a week since he had left Mr Oakenshield’s side and he already knew if things kept going how they had been so far he would probably not make it another week. He had been locked in the outbuilding and beaten after they had got back from church the previous day as punishment for embarrassing Mr McTavish in front of the American and he had more whip marks on his back to add to the previous scars.

 

The embers are burning low before the last person goes to bed, yawning with exhaustion from a day’s hard work. Kili waits a couple more minutes so he knows he really is alone, then rushes over to the sofa and pulls the pillow case he put underneath it, filled with as much food as he thought no one would know was missing.

He knows he needs to get back to Mr Oakenshield; that he will be safe there, but has no idea how long it will take him to find the large building that he lives in. He also realises he cannot go straight to Mr Oakenshield as it would be the first place anyone would look for him. _I won't bring trouble upon him,_ he thinks to himself as he drags an old blanket off the sofa and hastily shoves it in the bag. He is prepared to sleep rough for a while and steal to get by. He knows he is risking his own self. Were he to get caught stealing he could be in the world of trouble, but if he has to make a decision to hang or a lifetime of slavery to his merciless brute of a father he knows which one he would rather.

He feels for the ring in his shoe like he does several times a day and lets out a big sigh of relief as feels the cool of the metal against his fingers. The ring was uncomfortable against his foot, but he had nowhere else to keep it out of sight and would not let the Scottish man get his hands on the beautiful blue-stoned precious jewellery. _I would take a thousand beatings to keep Mr Oakenshield’s ring safe,_ he thinks as he glances around the tiny room one more time.

He opens the door gently; the last thing he wants is a manor full of people alerted to his plans, and he knows it will be hard enough to get away from this prison anyway. He sneaks down the long corridor with caution as he finds himself disorientated by the vast hallway. It looks so different at night and he finds himself knocking into objects he cannot even remember were there even though he cleaned the halls morning and night.

After what seems like hours of creeping down the hallway he reaches the front door. His heart is beating ten to the dozen as a mixture of fear and sheer determination fills him up. He looks around, then his eyes fix on the door at the end of the corridor. Mr McTavish had taken his suitcase in there a few days ago, making sure he saw it knowing Kili would never see any of the items again. He thinks of the goods inside the case - his nice smart clothes and his mother’s most precious items and then Mr Oakenshield’s writing set. His heart drops at the thought of that beautiful set forever in the suitcase and he knows he cannot leave without it. Slowly he puts down the pillow case by the umbrella stand and he wraps his arms around himself as he starts to creep down the hallway, praying the bully of a man has left the door unlocked. He tries the handle and cannot help but smile as the door opens with a click.

He scans the office in the light of the high moon and spots his suitcase on top of a very tall bookcase and gulps. He looks around the room for a second time, looking for something to stand on and he spots a wooden chair in the corner. He tiptoes over to it and moves it just in front of the bookcase. He clambers on the chair and clutches the old battered leather suitcase and undoes the silver clasp and gazes inside. His eyes fall on the clothes he wore when he arrived at this place, still covered in his blood, but warm and he takes out the thick coat Mr Oakenshield had bought him and puts it on so he will at least have some protection against the wintry elements. He looks at what else is there, rummaging through the case.

Suddenly he hears a creak of a floor board above him and is brought back to the reality that he needs to be quick. He grabs the decorative wooden box and hurries towards the study door.

 

He can hear footsteps on the stairs and quietness goes out the window as he rushes to the front door, feeling panic fill him up. The lights suddenly glare on and he grabs the door handle and heaves it open, not even bothering with his pillow case as he rushes out the front door.

“Get back here, you bastard son of a harlot!” the Scottish voice roars behind him. He dares not look back and starts to run across a blanket of white snow, with the box clutched safely under his arm.

“I will have you skin for this, you Devil’s child!” Mr McTavish’s voice growls behind. He can tell the beefy man is gaining on him as the sound of his footsteps get nearer and begins to quicken his feet.

Kili’s breath hitches as he sprints across the grounds, desperately hoping he can out run the heartless man, but he can already feel his injuries taking their toll on him as his back begins to throb. He can feel his back is bleeding and can feel himself begin to slow. _Kili, just keep running!_ he mental scorns himself and forces his body to move faster.

He can feel his legs start to give out before they do and he gives a frustrated growl as he sinks to floor. He feels the cold instantly hit his injured back and he lets out a scream as icy pain floods through his body. Suddenly rough hands heave him off the ground. “Let go!” kill snarls as his hatred flares for the brute, who begins to manhandle him by his arms dragging him to the outbuilding. “Get off me, you bastard!” Kili roars and begins thrashing against the grip.

“I will teach you some manners, you dirty heathen,” the scot hollers, chucking Kili against the wall of the little building and then grabs his hair. “You dare try and get the better of me?” he spits, bits of spittle hitting the youths face.

“I will never stop trying to get away from you!!” Kili roars, hitting his arms out wildly. His hand comes in contact with something and he looks up in fear as he realises that he has hit Mr McTavish in the face.

The Scottish man touches his lip and realises the youth has drawn blood. He looks at his fingers and then at the boy, his eyes darkened with anger. “You dare strike me? You dare hit me, faggot?!!” he bellows and grabs the boy’s head by the hair and thrusts it hard against the wall.

Kili vision instantly fades as he is overcome by a sudden dizziness. He tries to focus on the bald man’s face but can see nothing. He begins to panic and brings his hand to his head; he can feel blood in his hair and then a grip on his collar.

“You insolent little bastard! I knew it was a mistake taking you into my home,” the Scot growls, pulling the boy’s face close to his. “I will take you somewhere where you may learn to behave, where they know how to deal with little faggots like you!” he growls and gives the boy an evil smirk. He exits the building, locking the door behind him, leaving the teenager bleeding alone in the dark.

 

The second day of the trial has gone better than the first. He feels he has the upper hand now and he is looking forward to his closing plea tomorrow. Other than facing off against another barrister, it is the bit he enjoys the most. All the hard work and preparation all coming together in a moment of glory where all eyes are on him and he has everyone hanging on his lips. He knows it is his strength - he is an excellent orator when it is about something he is passionate about. And he knows he can be intimidating if he wants to be, with his tall strong built and his deep booming voice.

But like the previous day he cannot enjoy his partial victory as much as he would have done in the past. He realises that for the first time ever he feels lonely. That he desires the company of the boy who had caused him as much trouble as joy. Even if it is just to watch that sparkling curiosity over absolutely everything.

He thinks back to the times he had taught Kili his letters and smiles as he recalls the look of concentration and sheer determination across the boy’s face. He feels that sweet warmth inside his chest as he thinks of those deep brown eyes sparkling with excitement as he had managed to write down his own name on paper. Quickly replaced by a painful emptiness.

All his hope is now pinned on Thranduil carrying out his plan, which had sounded sensible and the easiest and less risky solution for all. _But if it does not work, I will march over there are drag him back myself_ , he has already decided with a stubborn determination. _If McTavish does not know about Thranduil, then it is only myself I need to worry about. And I will not be driven into a corner by that Scottish bastard!_

 

Kili was left alone the following day. The only person who came in was Joseph with a jug of water, a tankard and a candle to give him a little light. It is damp and cold and Kili can see his breath in front of his face. The brunet sits huddled in the corner of the outbuilding with his coat wrapped around him. Fear washes over him as he thinks of Mr McTavish’s last words to him. Would he really send him away? The thought frightens him more than anything ever could. _What can possibly be worse than this life?_ he worries and screws his eyes shut trying to think of anything else other than the threat. His thoughts go to Mr Oakenshield and he his heart sinks. _What if he never saw him again?_ The American had promised he would get him out. _How could I have been so stupid? Kili you fool!_ he scolds himself for his foolish actions in trying to run away.

He begins to lose track of time as he sits in the dark allowing himself to get lost in his negative thoughts, when he hears the keys in the lock and hurries to his feet with his back against the wall.

Mr McTavish smirks at the boy and at the frightened look on the teenagers face and he grabs his arm. “Time to go, brat," he smirks, yanking him along.

Kili picks up the writing kit and tucks it under his arm cradling it like it was the most precious object in the world. But Dwalin snatches it off the brunet and cruelly chucks it on the floor and smirks. "You won't be needing that you, brat," he says and steps on the box. Kili sobs at the sight in front of him, of Mr Oakenshield’s precious writing kit in pieces on the floor.

Dwalin leads the crying brunette to a carriage which is parked outside the door. "Get in you swine," he utters pushing him head first into the carriage and hauling him to a seat by his shirt. "If you try to escape I’ll kill you," he threatens, balling his fist as he does.

 

Kili sobs silently but nods. He dare not speak.  He remembers Mr Oakenshield’s words telling him to be brave and he tries to stop himself from shaking, but is unable to control the fear rushing through him. He can tell by the look on Mr McTavish’s face that whatever he had in stall for him was something awful.

The carriage comes to a sudden halt and he is shoved from the carriage to the ground in ten seconds flat. He looks around at his surroundings and his stomach gives a jolt as he recognises it as the street Mr Oakenshield had brought him to on their final night together. And despite the scary circumstances under which he has been brought back here he can't help but smile as he remembers the precious moment Mr Oakenshield and himself had shared on their journey back.

“In here, you filthy mongrel,” the Scottish man snarls and yanks him towards a building at  the side. Kili instantly recognises it as the blacked out house he had asked Mr Oakenshield about on his previous visit to the street and suddenly does not want to know what's inside and begins backing away from the house. “Get in there now, you wicked creature,” Dwalin says, pushing the youth through the door.

“Good evening, Madam,” Dwalin says in greeting, and keeps a vice like grip on the boys arm so he cannot escape.

“Good’eve good mister,” the colourfully dressed business woman smiles a wide smile at the well-dressed gentleman, whom she does not recall seeing here before. New clients are always good! Then her gaze slides down to the struggling teenager at the man’s side and she cocks her head at the youngster, guessing the intention of this visit. “Are we talkin’ business or pleasure, mister?” she grins.

Dwalin feels offended at the suggestion of seeking pleasure in this place, but forces himself to remain calm and smiles wide. “I have a business proposition for you, Madam. Is there anywhere we can talk in private?” he asks and looks at the youth, whom he is pleased to see looks terrified.

Kili looks around the darkened room. There are a few boys of different ages ranging from around his age to about twenty sitting around. He looks into their eyes and can see haunted, defeated looks coming from most of them. They seemed not to be talking to each other, instead they seemed to be waiting, but he had no idea what for and that thought sends shivers down his spine. He looks up at the Scottish man with wide panicked eyes wondering what is to become of him.

“Course mister, come through ‘ere,” the woman walks ahead to the small room behind the heavily ornate reception room. She makes sure to sway her hips and booty at the man as she preceeds him - if he is not here for her boys then perhaps the man has better taste than the backdoor. She watches the gentleman and his boy enter the room and she offers the man a seat in one of the plush deep-red velvet chairs. “So then, mister, show me what you’ve brought me ‘ere?” she smiles sweetly.

The Scottish man pushes the youth forward so he is stood in front of the madam so she can have a good look at the boy, who instantly tries to move away. “Hold still, you foul youth,” he growls and holds the teenager’s shoulders steady.

Madam Molly slowly circles the youngster, reminding Kili starkly of the way that Dwalin had circled him like a prey before. “How old?” she asks the Scot.

 

“Fifteen,” he says, taking an instant liking to the lady as she seems to have the same technique that he has in scaring the brat.

The middle aged woman grabs the youngster’s arm. “He’s skinny,” she appraises, grabbing his chin next and twisting his face from side to side. “And there’s still some bruising on his face.” She glances over at the gentleman. “Trouble, is he?”

Dwalin looks at Kili as he tries to pull away in warning and the boy instantly stills. “Skinny is good, he does not eat much,” he says smiling a large smile. “As for trouble I am sure it’s nothing that a woman with your talents could not handle,” he compliments hoping it will make the transaction easier.

The woman smiles as the man flatters her, but she has been in this business for too long to let such words persuade her. She knows exactly what she is looking for. “Hm …” she takes a step back, considering the youngster. “Undress, boy,” she orders calmly.

Kili’s eyes widen in horror at the request and he begins to shake his head and looks towards the door, wondering if he could make a quick escape. “Don’t you dare,” the Scottish man growls, giving him daggers. “Do what the madam asks or I’ll do it for you,” he threatens and Kili slowly begins to undress, red with embarrassment and tears running down his cheeks.

“You’re a shy ‘lil mite, aren’t ya?” the madam grabs his arm again and twists him around. “Did y’tell him to play coy?” she narrows her eyes at the gentleman.

Dwalin forces the smile to remain on his face at the woman's accusations. “He did not even know I was bringing him here,” he replies politely. #

“Cottons too, boy,” the older woman crosses her arms as she looks closely at the youngster again. “Well, go on, I have not all day!”

Kili looks up at Mr McTavish. “Now, boy!” he snarls. The brunet slowly lowers his cottons and lets out a little sob closing his eyes tight wishing he was anywhere but in this room.

“Turn around,” the brothel owner orders him.

Kili is shaking all over, fear gripping at him at what he is being asked to do, but does as she says to save himself a threat from Mr McTavish. He feels confused but most of all humiliated as she inspects his body.

“Five yellowboys, mister,” the madam states, looking at the gentleman.

Dwalin frowns, looking at the boy. “He is an innocent, you can tell he is worth at least fifteen, madam,” he argues.

“You claim the boy’s a virgin?” madam Molly cocks her head at the gentleman first and then looks at the boy again who is still stood with his back turned to her. She runs her hand down the boy’s back, across the whipping scars - making the youngster flinch - and down over his buttocks which equally show signs of corporal punishment. “The boy is damaged,” she states. “He clearly is trouble.” She grins at the gentleman again. “But there’s a market for that, alright.” She roughly forces the teenager to turn around. “You have never been indorsed?” she asks him, bringing her face close to his.

Kili looks into the lady’s face. “What ... what do you mean _indorsed_?” he stutters nervously.

The madam looks at him curiously, wondering is the boy is playing on this innocence act under the instruction of his master or whether he truly has no idea. Her clients will like it regardless though and even at fifteen guineas she should be able to make a nice profit from him. “Get dressed,” she orders the boy. Then turning to the Scot, “I don’t want no trouble, mister.” Most of her boys here have _chosen_ the trade, forced into it of course out of desperation but nonetheless they are here voluntarily. They are fed here and have a safe place to sleep. The alternative would be whoring themselves out on the streets. But it would not be the first time she has been offered a troublesome boy to the trade. “My clients pay a fair price for my boys and I make sure they get value for their money. Why sell the boy?”

Dwalin thinks very carefully how to reply, he knows he can't tell the truth. "For personal reasons," he answers, not going into details. The last thing he wants getting out is news about his bastard son.

“Ten. I’m taking a risk,” the woman states with finality.

Dwalin thinks about for a while then looks at the boy. “Ten. Agreed,” he says shaking the  madam’s hand.

Kili looks at the man feeling a bit like an animal who had just been sold to slaughter. “No! You can't do this! I won’t stay here,” he says stubbornly looking backwards and forwards between the two of them.

Madam Molly looks at the boy with a hint of amusement. “Really now? And where will you go? Where do you think you can run to where I will not be able to find you, you brat?”

Kili begins to sob at the injustice at having no control over his life all he wants to do is go back to Mr Oakenshield. “What will you have me do?" he asks knowing he has no choice over his fate.

Dwalin looks at the scared teen with a smirk. "You will do whatever is asked of you, faggot, and like it," he growls as the boy begins to sob louder.

Madam Molly places a hand on the big man’s arm. “I’m sure I can handle it,” he says, perhaps with a little more sarcasm than she should. “Now, mister, is there an’thing else I can be of service with?” She throws the man a fat wink.

Dwalin eyes the lady and takes the wink for what it is. “Aye, I think there might be,” he says his eyes lingering on to her chest.

Madam Molly puffs herself up a little more for the gentleman, before she turns to the boy. “You will start by cleaning the other boys’ chambers today. Tomorrow you start proper shifts.” She turns back to Dwalin. “One moment, mister,” he brushes past him like a cat in heat. “BILBO!” she shouts as she opens the door.

Moments later a boy with bouncy blond curls appears. “Yes, ma’am?”

“What’s your name, boy?” the madam turns back to Kili, beckoning him to step forward.

The brunet lowers his gaze. “Kili,” he mumbles quietly.

 

“I like it,” Madam Molly grins at him. “It’s cute. You are you to go with Bilbo here. He will show you your room and tell you what to do. Say goodbye to this gentleman now.”

Kili looks at Mr McTavish with disgust. “I hope to never see you again, sir. I would not spit on you if you were on fire,” he says.  

Dwalin raises his hand ready to strike to boy, but madam Molly stops him. “The boy is mine now, mister,” she smiles at him. “And I will have no more bruises on him less they be at my own hand.”

The blond boy raises an eyebrow as he guides the brunet silently into the reception room and then up the stairs. “This is your room,” he says in an even tone as he pushes open the door to a little box room with a bed, a wash-table and a small dresser.

Kili looks around the plain room and nods unsure what to say and goes and sits on the little metal bed and buries his face in his hands trying to hide the tears currently running down his face.

“You sleep here and you work here,” Bilbo continues to explain. “Normally the youngest do the room chores, like washing out the bedpans and stuff. But it is tradition that any newcomers will do it on their first day.” He cocks his head at the boy, who looks slightly younger than he is. “Trust me, come tomorrow you will want to go back to doing it!” He means it as a light-hearted joke, but he can see the boy shudder.

“What is work?” Kili asks, dreading the answer. “He didn’t even tell me what this place is,” he says, trying to be strong, but he begins to panic.

Bilbo eyes the other boy with surprise. “Really? You don’t know?” When Kili shakes his head he goes to sit down on the bed next to him. “Who was that man whom you shouted at downstairs?” he tries to avoid the inevitable subject a moment longer.

Kili does not even bother to lie. “That man is my father. He had an affair with his maid, my mother,” he explains. “And I hate him. I have known him not even a week and he can do this to his own son”! he adds, anger washing over him.

“Blimey,” Bilbo says, astounded that someone could do this to their own blood. His parents had both died nearly two years ago now of consumption and he had had no choice but to come here in order to survive. “That’s harsh.” It is rather an understatement, but what else can he say? “So ehm, you have had sex before, haven’t you?” He had learnt to talk straight about the subject a long time ago.

Kili’s eyes widen in horror. “No, I haven't,“ he says, embarrassed and confused how that is even relevant. Suddenly his eyes grow wide. “Is that why I’m here?! Is that what she wants me to do?! I won’t do it!” he states feeling sick.

“I am afraid you don't have no choice,” Bilbo frowns at brunet. “None of us _want_ to do it. But if we don’t do it here we will end up on the streets. And some of the guys have been there; you really don’t want to go there, Kili. Besides, Aunt Molly has invested a lot of money in you now. She won't let you go until you’ve paid her back and more. ” He looks at the boy’s terrified face. “Look, the first time is the worst, after that it gets easier.” He gets to his feet and rummages around in the dresser, turning back to Kili with a short but thick wooden rod and an ornate little pot. “You are not going to like this,” he says to the brunet boy. “But believe me, you will want to do this before you get your first client tomorrow.” He hands the two items to Kili.

Kili looks at the items wide eyed. “What do I do with this?" he asks eyeing the items suspiciously.

"Use that to slick up the wood and yourself," Bilbo explains patiently. "And then stick that," he grabs the wooden rod with the round top, "up your roundmouth." He spreads his legs as he lies down across the bed simulating the motion before he hands the item back, adding, "but not before you've completed your chores.”

Kili can feel his belly jolt. “I’m ... I'm not doing that!" he states, looking at the blonde. "Why would I do that?" He asks chucking the items on the bed with horror.

"Because you want to stretch yourself before your first client does it,” Bilbo explains matter-of-factly. "It won't hurt so much then." He looks closely at Kili's face, feeling very sorry for him. "You do know what sex is, don't you?" he asks with concern.

Kili flushes red with embarrassment and shakes his head avoiding the blond's face which has a look of pure disbelief on it.

"Shit," the curly blond utters. "Aunt Molly must have paid a good price for you!" He blows out his breath slowly, considering what to say or do. He knows the kindest thing would be to take the boy's virginity, before one of their rougher clients gets his hands on him, although Aunt Molly would kill him if she found out. "Most clients will just want to stick their doodle up your bum," he tries to just explain it for now. The rest the teenager will have to work out for himself. "You put yourself all on fours like this," he demonstrates, "and just let them do the business. And sometimes they want to stick it in your mouth. But Aunt Molly charges extra for that so make sure you understand what she's agreed with the client. Okay?"

Kili is still not quite sure but he nods, feeling scared and stupid and he can feel tears pouring down his face as the hopelessness of it all sinks in. He thinks of Mr Oakenshield and realises he will probably never see his kind master again and subconsciously puts his hand to his shoe and begins to fumble the ring. "I want to go home" he says and pulls his knees to his chest. "I hate this whole miserable city," he whispers.

"Hey,  it's not so bad here, " Bilbo tries to sooth the brunet. "Most of the boys here are really nice and if you behave Aunt Molly is alright too. And the food is good," he adds with a smile trying to find something that might take the boy's mind of what is to come. "The older boys take it in turns to cook. Can you cook, Kili? "

Kili perks up a little at this question "I’m a good cook. Ii used to cook for Mr Oakenshield," he replies and can't help smiling.

"Who's that?" Bilbo asks, getting to his feet again.

He looks at Bilbo, trying to weigh up he can trust him. "He's the person I love. I want to go back to him and he loves me too," Kili babbles, smiling.

"That's nice," Bilbo smiles at the brunet, thinking to himself that whoever this mister is he can't be loving Kili very much if he's let him end up in here. But it's none of his business and he helps Kili to his feet. "I'll show you around, introduce you to some of the boys. We'll have to be quiet as some are working. Have you eaten yet? "

Kili stomach gives a hungry growl. "I am starving, I haven't eaten since yesterday. Is there anything for me to eat?" he says, suddenly feeling a little happier.

"Sure. We'll start the tour in the kitchen then," Bilbo says kindly, happy that Kili seems to be relaxing a little. This first week is going to be tough for him, but he feels confident that Kili will fit in well in their oddball _family_.

 

Thorin shakes hands with his client.

“Thank you, sir, thank you, thank you,” the red-haired man exclaims for the dozenth time.

“You have had a lucky escape,” he reminds the man. Indeed he has, he still cannot quite believe he has managed to overthrow the murder charge and get the man a reduced prison sentence for the rest of his crimes. He feels rather smug about his achievement as he strides out of the courtroom and into the small changing room where he takes off his gown and places the delicate wig in the leather case with his initials in gold-leaf.

As soon as he steps outside onto the streets he feels another flutter of excitement join his already buzzing emotions. It is a cold winter’s day and snow has fallen onto the streets, although the carriages have already driven most of it into a dirty black slush. But the winter sun is out and he decides to walk home rather than take a carriage, enjoying some fresh air and taking in the sights of London as people prepare for the Christmas festival.

Tonight Thranduil is going to dine with McTavish and make his offer. He feels confident now that the whole plan will work out perfectly fine - he can see no reason why the Scot would refuse to take it. Which would mean that Kili could be back with him as soon as tomorrow!

He almost feels himself skipping in joy at the thought and as he passes the old sweet shop on the corner, he stops in his tracks and turns on his heels. He remembers Kili’s sweet tooth from when he had offered him sweets on the train to London and he scans the jars full of colourful sweets. It is busy in the little shop, with young children pulling at their mother’s skirts as they point excitedly at the delightful treats. And he feels a premature feeling of happiness at the thought of treating Kili to one of the large bars of chocolate displayed on the counter, wrapped in a silver foil. He is pretty sure Kili will never have tasted anything like it before and he remembers the excitement he had felt when Kili had enjoyed something as simple as fish and chips on their last evening together. The evening when he had kissed him …

He quickly pays the shop owner and sticks the bar of chocolate in his jacket pocket. He cannot wait to see the smile on Kili’s face as he gives it to him tomorrow and tells him how sorry he is for letting him go and that he will never let him go ever again.

 

As they get out if the carriage and look up at the large manor house Thranduil can feel his heart rate speed up. He knows he can easily chat for hours if he needs to, but he prays that he can pull off the undoubtedly stupid plan without rousing suspicion and risking everything he's worked for. _If you must you can still change your mind, he_ reminds himself, knowing full well that he will not. He smiles at his wife and then rings the doorbell.

The door opens and there is a smart dressed man stood in the doorway. “Good evening, you must be the Boisverts. My master is expecting you. I will show you through to the dining room,” he says, holding the door for the couple and leading the way down the corridor to the grand dining room and knocking the door.

“Enter,” Dwalin calls  pouring himself a large glass of scotch.

The servant opens the door. “Sir, Mr and Mrs Boisvert are here,” he says announcing them as they enter the room.

Thranduil can feel the hair on the back if his neck rise up as soon as he sees Dwalin. He cannot pinpoint exactly what it is outside of the situation with Kili, but the man makes him feel cold to the core. However, he keeps the fake broad smile firmly in place as he accepts the firm handshake. "Thank you so much for inviting us over."

“You are welcome. We have roast pork for dinner, I hope this acceptable,” Dwalin replies, then looks at the red haired lady who is stood beside him. ”And this must be your lovely wife,” he says turning on the charm and kissing her hand.

Thranduil eyes the man suspiciously and then bows courteously to the young woman who stands a little behind Dwalin. "Thank you for having us in your home, Mrs McTavish." He's not in the business of kissing another man's wife, even if it is her hand.

The young women smiles. “You're welcome Mr Boisvert. Why don't we all sit down,” she suggests looking at her husband who gives a little nod and they all sit down around the large oaken table.

Dinner is promptly served and they chat casually about the food, the church and about America, which Dwalin shows a lot of interest in. And each time the door opens Thranduil looks surreptitiously at the servants walking in and out to take away plates and serve new dishes, but to his regret none of them are Kili.

After dinner is finished Dwalin smiles at his American visitor. "Would you care to join me in the smoking room with a brandy?" he asks giving a large smile.

“Of course,” Thranduil nods politely, seeing his opportunity finally to begin the execution of his plan.

Dwalin leads the American into the little lounge area he reserves for smoking and drinking and takes the smoking box from the fireplace, offering one to the young blonde gentleman.

“Thank you,” Thranduil gratefully accepts one of the expensive looking cigars and holds it out to the match that the Scot has lit. He glances around the elaborately decorated room, thinking that the man likes to splash the cash. He takes a deep intake of the sweet smoke and rests his ankle on his knee as he casually leans back in the large chair, waiting for the host to initiate the conversation.

"So how is the railway business going?" Dwalin asks politely pouring them both a generous amount of brandy.

“Very well,” Thranduil answers with a genuine smile. “There are some very interesting developments that I am working on regarding the expansion of the London Underground. It will considerably improve on the congestion within the city, allowing much faster travel across the entire capital and at a much more affordable price.”

“Well travel time being quicker can't be a bad thing," Dwalin says with a laugh. "If you ever need a good barrister you know where to find one" he says taking a large swig of brandy.

Thranduil smiles a forced grin at the man. “I hope never to find myself in a situation whereby I might require such services, but should I ever do then indeed I do know where to find one, thank you good sir.” _And it won’t be you_ , he thinks bitterly to himself, sipping from his brandy.

The older man takes a swig and smiles taking a seat in front of the fire he had ordered Adam to light earlier. He kicks of his shoes and puts them on his leather foot puff.

Thranduil considers the big man, wondering if this is the right moment, but then decides that there is not going to a better one. “I was wondering if I might make you a proposition, Dwalin,” he decides to chance on a bit of familiarity to get the man on side.

The Scotsman looks at the American with interest "Aye, you may" he replies.

“My chef left a week ago to go work as an apprentice baker. When I was talking to the brunet boy from your household last Sunday about Christmas, he told me he is a good cook.” He eyes the Scot closely, looking out for anything that would give away suspicion at his story, but he appears to be getting away with it so far. “I was just wondering if you would be open to offers for the boy? I would be willing to pay a good price for a decent cook.”

Dwalin smiles. "I'm afraid I can't help. The boy was trouble; I caught him trying to break into my office trying to steal a travel writing kit. He is gone now." _he's where he deserves to be,_ he adds in his head.

Thranduil knows he is struggling to keep his stoic mask in place at the revelation and he pretends to cough from the strong smoke as he tries to pull himself together again. A thousand things race through his head. _You stupid boy!_ being the most prominent one. He had told Kili he would get him out. Why had he not waited for him? Why on earth had he tried to steal from his master? For a moment he even wonders if Thorin would be better off without the boy who clearly has a problem with taking other people’s property, but he bites the thought back quickly – that is not his decision. “I see, that is regrettable,” he manages to squeeze out of his throat. “Still, I should feel grateful that you dealt with the boy appropriately and that I did not end up with a thief in my household,” he adds, feeling his stomach churn.

"Aye, he was whipped raw and sent packing," the Scottish man says, pouring himself another glass and topping up the American’s.

Thranduil swallows hard. “A just punishment,” he says, trying to still the tremble in his voice. “You have been lenient not to report him to the magistrate,” the tries to flatter the man, although he would like to go for his throat and throttle him. “May I ask where you sent him to?” He digs his nails into the palm of his hand and downs the brandy almost in one. He knows he is pushing his curiosity in what has become of Kili.

He gives the man a smile. "I sent him to a behavioural correction institution, where they know how to treat brats like him. I was forever punishing the boy. I took him in off the streets, fed and clothed the lad," he says downing his drink. "He was just a bad egg,” he adds.

“I am sure you tried your best, Dwalin,” Thranduil says, knowing there is a sharp edge to his tone now as he listens to the man lie blatantly to him. “But some just cannot be helped.” He needs to get out, he realises, before he loses his cool and blows his cover. He pertinently pulls out his pocket watch. “I regret that I must take my leave now. I have a meeting early in the morning and the wife does not like to travel late at night. This has been a pleasure, Dwalin, and we must sure do it again soon.” _Over my dead body!_ he thinks, as he tries not to crush the man’s hand when he offers a parting handshake.

"We must. Goodnight, Thranduil," Dwalin says. When they meet up with the two women in the hallway he takes the American’s wife's hand again. "Good night, Mrs Boisvert" he beams his most charming smile.

“Goodnight Mr McTavish, it has been a pleasure to meet you and your wife,” she smiles brightly and leaves the manor house on her husband’s arm.

“What a charming couple,” Tauriel observes as they ride back home.

“Hm,” Thranduil grunts as he stares hard into nothingness. Somedays his wife’s complete lack of being able to see people for what they really are drives him crazy and other days he thinks what blissful ignorance she must live in. They continue their journey home in silence, as they usually do, each wrapped up in their own thoughts, as Thranduil thinks his head might explode under the pressure of the bad news that he is about to deliver to his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) A "molly" was an Edwardian term for homosexual. Molly houses were gay whorehouses. This term had largely fallen out of favour by the late Victorian era, but clearly the madam's pseud is in reference to this.
> 
> 2) Guinea: A gold coin worth one pound and one shilling. The slang term for guinea was yellowboy. The guinea was used in professional transactions. It is used almost as a form of flattery - what are deemed “lesser transactions” are settled in shillings, when dealings between more important parties settled in Guinea. 5 Guinea would equate to roughly £5,000 in todays money. A lot of money, but virgins were in high demand as the Victorian believed they could “cure” venereal disease and the madam could charge up to £25 for such pleasure


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Bilbo written by LadyLuna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning!  
> Mild dub con Kili/Bilbo. If you do not like, then this chapter can be skipped and you will still understand the rest of the story.

Kili knocks on the door to Bilbo’s bedroom and waits for a reply. “Come in,” his new friend replies and he slowly opens the door. “I have finished all the chores. What do we do now?” he asks the blonde as he walks over and sits beside him on the bed. “Bilbo, how many people come here?” he asks.

“It depends,” the blond boy shrugs. “It gets busier later in the week.” He is unsure how much to say just yet to the boy. He does not want to frighten him off before he has even started.

“Does it hurt?” Kili asks nervously. “Why did you come here? Were you sold like me?” he questions feeling a little curious and less nervous.

Bilbo chuckles. “One question at a time! How I got here? My parents died two years back. I had nowhere else to go, got no family here in London. Had to eat somehow. Thought I would end up in a workhouse or begging on the street. Then I heard about this place from a friend of a friend and well, did not exactly have much of a choice. Aunt Molly offered me my own bedroom, a hot meal every night. There’s worse jobs out there, you know.”

“Yeah working for Mr McTavish being one,” he sighs. “I wish I was back with Thorin,” he says, more to himself than the boy.

“The man you love?” Bilbo enquires.

“Yes. I miss him. He actually treated me like I was worth something,” he finishes looking at his shoes.

“Then why didn’t you stay? You said he loved you too …?”

“My mother before she died made him promise to take me to my father, which he did. He changed his mind when he saw how my father acted with me; he fought to keep hold of me, but Mr McTavish threatened him, left him no choice but to let me go,” Kili explains and can feel tears escape from his eyes “ that night Mr McTavish beat me and whipped me for trying to run back to him” he finishes sadly and can feel his heart break all over again.

“Jee, I’m sorry, mate,” Bilbo says kindly and he puts an arm around Kili. “Well, we will look after you here. We are all like brothers here.”

Kili leans his head on Bilbo's shoulder. “Thank you. I will get back to him someday. I have something I need to return to him,” he says allowing himself to be comforted.

“And I hope you do,” Bilbo says kindly. They sit silently for a moment. Then Bilbo softly says, “So ehm … you asked if it hurts.”

“Yes does it hurt, sex? And how often will I be expected to do it?” He feels sick asking the questions and what Bilbo had already said made him feel even worse.

Bilbo bites his cheek, considering his reply. “How often depends on what the clients want. Brunet or blond,” he twirls his fingers around Kili’s hair and his own. “How old.” He cocks his head at the brunet boy. “You will do well,” he says encouragingly. “You have a sweet, cheeky face. The gentlemen like that.” He starts picking at his dirty nails. “And yes it hurts. Not always. That’s why you need to prepare yourself. Make sure you are opened up before the clients come. Otherwise it will hurt like hell.”

Kili nods sadly. “I still don't want to this,” he sighs, “but doesn't really look like I have a choice, do I? My gentleman doesn’t even know where I am and I need to survive somehow,” he says trying to reassure himself that Mr Oakenshield wouldn't think any less of him for what he is going to have to do.

Bilbo nods, kicking the bottom of the bed with his heels. Nope, none of us have a choice. He doesn’t say it, Kili knows without him rubbing it in. “Say ehm, Kee,” he whispers, his eyes fixed on the door as if someone could walk in at any moment. “You cannot say a word to Aunt Molly, right. You must promise me, she would kill me if she found out.”

“Tell her what?" he says curiously.

Bilbo takes a deep breath. He is beginning to like Kili and he does not want him to think badly of him. “Between the boys we have this agreement,” he says softly. “We don't like for an innocent to be taken by a client. Like, I want you to know what to expect tomorrow. Before you have to be taken for real.”

"Take me where?" he asks shifting nervously

"Do eh....  do you want me to show you? So you know what it's like.... " The blond boy stares at the floor. "You don't have to, " he mumbles. "But if you want I can teach you. What sex is that is. "

Kili can feel the colour drain from his face and the feeling of sickness wash over his body, but finds himself nodding. _At least Bilbo seems like he will be careful_ , he thinks, trying to reassure himself against the unknown.

Bilbo nods and jumps to his feet, bolting the door. "But you can’t tell anyone, alright,” he stresses again in an urgent whisper. “Aunt Molly wants to sell you off as a virgin, cuz it’ll earn her a good price.”

"So you… you are going to have sex with me and I have to act like you haven't," he stutters to clarify.

“Yes,” Bilbo states plainly and he begins to unbutton his breeches. “You need to take off your clothes,” he nods to Kili, who stares at him with big frightened eyes. “I promise I will be careful,” he adds as if reading Kili’s mind.

"Do I need to take them all off?" he asks, fumbling with his clothing nervously.

“Just your trousers and cottons,” Bilbo says softly, already having completed the same instruction himself. He begins to rummage through his own dresser whilst he waits for Kili to do as he’d said.

It takes Kili a minute of nervously pulling at his clothing. His fingers didn't seem to want to cooperate, but eventually he stands there, semi-dressed waiting, for his next instruction from the blond.

“Lie on the bed, Kili,” Bilbo smiles softly at him. “I will show you how you can prepare yourself first, okay?” He brings his own pot of lard to the bed as he watches the teenager reluctantly lie himself down. “You must really try to relax,” he tries to encourage the other boy. “If you tense it will hurt more.”

Kili closes his eyes screwing up his eyes. Fear spikes through his body and he thinks of Mr Oakenshield and suddenly feels a little braver and forces himself to relax his body.

Bilbo takes a generous amount of lard and greases up his fingers. "You can offer the gentlemen some, but most won't take it so always make sure you use plenty when you prepare. Pull up your knees."

Kili does as he is told and finds himself feeling extremely vulnerable. He wants to ask what he's preparing himself for, but instead he quietly asks, "Why don't they all take it?"

Bilbo shrugs. "They say it don't feel as nice." He promptly slathers a dollop of the cold lard in between Kili's buttocks.

Kili immediately flinches at the cool foreign touch to his bum and begins to wiggle. "Feels weird," he utters.

"Yup, this is all gonna feel weird, " Bilbo laughs softly. "Pull your legs right up against your chest, “he orders kindly and then starts to rub the lard into Kili's pucker.

"What ... what are you doing?" the brunet asks, his stomach fluttering excitedly as he can feel a finger circling his hole and his prick begins to stir with interest.

Bilbo grins, "You like that do you?" he observes Kili's reaction. As the brunet is distracted, he takes the opportunity to exert a little pressure and push in the tip of his middle finger.

Kili let out a little squeak as he the finger begins to move slowly and he shifts as the blond moves his finger more. It is not exactly painful, just a little uncomfortable.

"Relax, Kili, " Bilbo says encouragingly as he pushes his finger in harder. "You can touch your doodle if that feels nice. It helps to relax," he gives the boy some trade tips.

Kili looks up at his new friend with a sudden shyness. " Bilbo erm, what is my doodle?" he asks turning red. He feels stupid; the blond can only be a few years older than him but clearly knows a lot more than he does.

Bilbo stares at the brunet with eyes wide in utter disbelief and he wonders what remote village he's come from to be so completely unaware. He's never met someone of Kili's age who is so innocent. "Your tallywag,” he tries, earning him an even more confused look. He sighs and grabs his own semi hardness to make the point. "Your prick."

Kili nods. He thinks back to their previous conversation and his eyes widen with horror." You mean … you are going to stick your …" and he indicates to Bilbo's shaft, "up my ... up my …" He finds he is unable to finish as he can feel himself starting to panic.

Bilbo realises Kili is stressing as he muscles tighten in a lock around his finger and it adds to his belief that he is doing the right thing for him - he cannot let him face any of their clients without knowing any of this; they'll tear him to pieces! "Relax, Kili," he whispers again, and begins to fondle Kili's sack, before pushing a second finger against his folds.

Kili relaxes at the touch of the experienced boy. He lets out a little groan and can feel himself harden at Bilbo’s gentle encouragement. 

"That's better," Bilbo grins as the boy opens up as his arousal grows. And he feels his own desire pulse through him now that Kili no longer looks like a frightened animal. Whilst he continues to gently twist and scissor his fingers he uses his other hand to slick his shaft with more of the fat.

Kili can feel his body tingle all over and bucks his hips all the twists and movements sending fizzles through his body. He finds the older boy's strokes of his sack relaxing and slowly begins to stroke his prick.

"Want me to do it then?" Bilbo asks as he sits himself up a little, his erection pressed against Kili's buttock.

Kili starts to shake as he realises what is about to happen and screws his eyes shut and nods.

Bilbo can feel tingling run down his spine as he presses his cockhead between Kili's cheeks without any further hesitation, before the brunet freaks out and loses his nerve. It is not often that he gets to give rather than take and although this about Kili and not him he can't help the excitement that pulses through him.

Kili pulls back and shakes his head just as he can feel a hard pressure on his buttocks. "Bilbo I've changed mind, I don't want to. Stop, I won't!” he quickly says feeling panic rise up inside him. "I won't, she can't make me," he sobs suddenly letting his emotions get the better of him.

Bilbo sighs and rolls himself next to the boy. He starts to stroke the boy under his shirt, and pulls him closer. "She can. If you don't do as she says she'll get the whip on you," he says and he can feel the boy start to shudder against him as he remembers Kili telling him his master had recently whipped him for trying to run away. He'd only received the whip twice himself but it had scared him enough to avoid it at all cost.

Kili begins to sob louder. "I don't want to be whipped - she can't whip me!" he protests tears rolling down his cheeks. "I want to go back to Mr Oakenshield," he cries .

"Come on, Kee, you have not even tried," Bilbo is beginning to get impatient. He's putting his neck on the line for the boy and Kili needs to face reality. That his knight in shining armour is not going to come and rescue him and that he's going to have to do this. "You can't do this tomorrow, you know, change your mind that is. And you'll only make it more difficult if you play up, it's much easier just to accept it." He softens his harsh words a little, by adding. "I'll be quick, okay?"

Kili thinks about it for a while and eventually nods. “Promise you’ll be quick," he says looking up at Bilbo with wide eyes. 

"I promise," Bilbo squeezes his hand then rolls Kili onto his back again and holds him firmly in place as he slowly pushes his prick up his backside.

Kili lets out a cry as he is indorsed. "Hurts! W … will it always hurt?" he whimpers, trying to relax and ignore how much it stings.

"Not if you use plenty...  of grease and...  relax," Bilbo pants as he rolls his hips and pushes down. "You will open up  more...  with plenty of practice." He squeezes his eyes shut as he focuses on the nice feeling of his cock rubbing inside Kili's hot body, trying to finish himself quickly as he'd promised the new boy.

“How do I practice?" He asks, trying not to panic as the blond thrusts himself into him bucking his hips.

Bilbo groans softly as the questions distract his focus, making his promise not an easy one to keep. "Lots of sticking your fingers in there. And use the wooden toy I gave you," he answers huskily. You'll soon get plenty of practice alright he thinks with regret, knowing that Kili has lost something today that he'll never get back.

Kili gulps and lies down and quietly waits for it to be over. He can feel his childhood slip away and knows he is no longer the boy that walked into this building, no longer the young boy Mr Oakenshield fell in love with and the thought saddens him.

Bilbo speeds up his thrusts, trying to keep himself shallow so that Kili gets the stretch but he won't be too rough on him. He can feel the tightening of his sack as he rushes towards his peak, trying to stifle his moans at he presses his lips to Kili's salty skin.

"Nearly ... there, " he grunts and then stills his movement as he feels his orgasm flood through him. He shudders under the intensity of the feelings and then gently pulls back as he rolls off Kili and immediately gets to his feet and begins to get dressed.

Kili can feel all the emotions drain from his body and looks at Bilbo as he grabs his own clothes. “That's sex then," he states and starts to do up his breeches.

Bilbo nods. "Yeah." He slowly looks up at the brunet. "Hope it didn't hurt too much. You ... you did well," he tries to sooth his friend. "You had best go now before Ma Molly comes looking for you," he says nervously. "I'll see you at breakfast."

“Yeah see you at breakfast" he says walking to the door then turning around. “Don't worry about hurting me, it was fine," he lies then walks out the door and down the corridor into his own room bolting the door behind him.

He sits on the bed and takes out Mr Oakenshield’s ring and places it on his finger. For the first time he does not want to go back to Mr Oakenshield, he feels like he does not deserve to go back. He thought of Mr Oakenshield and his friend Thranduil and suddenly wished he had not listened on the other side of the door that night, wished he didn't know what he did now.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili, Tom and Kili's clients written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin, Thranduil, Bilbo and Madam Molly written by LadyLuna

**_Wednesday_ **

He had waited until midnight, but then had gone to bed, thinking that possibly the night had carried on and his lover might not be able to inform him of the news until the morrow. When he is awoken from his restless sleep and holds his pocket watch up to the soft light of the night candle he notes that it is nearly two o’clock in the morning. For a moment he thinks he has imagined hearing the doorbell, but then there are three firm knocks on his front door and within seconds he is up and out of bed, fumbling for his chamber coat and slippers as he rushes towards the front door.

 

“Thranduil!” he utters, rubbing the sleep from his face as the invites the American inside. “I did not think I would see you tonight. It is so late.”

 

“I am sorry, darling,” Thranduil gives him a kiss on his cheek before taking off his coat and hat and he begins to pull off his gloves. “My boy has a fever and I could not just leave. But I came as soon as I could.”

 

“Thank you,” Thorin brushes a hand through his bed hair and offers his friend a brandy, pouring himself one also. “So did you see McTavish?”

 

Thranduil takes a gulp from the strong liquor and nods slowly. “I did. Sit down, Thorin,” he orders his friend who hovers by the drinking cabinet.

 

But the Englishman ignores the order. “Did you see him? Did you see Kili? Did McTavish accept your offer?”

 

“Kili is … no longer with McTavish,” Thranduil says slowly, keeping his eyes trained on Thorin’s face.

 

“What do you mean?” Thorin draws in a sharp breath.

 

“Please sit down, darling,” Thranduil pats the sofa next to him as he takes another sip.

 

“Just tell me what has happened! What do you mean Kili is no longer with McTavish?”

 

Thranduil takes a deep breath and begins to narrate the story. “I made him the offer as we agreed. I think he might have accepted it had the circumstances been different, but he immediately told me that the boy was no longer there. That he had sent him away.”

 

“Away where?! Why?!” Thorin’s eyes are growing dark as his anxiety grows.

 

Thranduil gets to his feet and this time manoeuvres his lover onto the sofa himself. “Thorin, perhaps you should forget about Kili,” he says carefully, bracing himself for Thorin’s temper. “He … he is a troublesome boy…”

 

He takes a step back as Thorin throws him a dark glare. “What do you mean?” he growls at him.

 

“He was sent away by Mr McTavish because he caught him stealing some sort of writing kit from his office.” He waits for Thorin’s reaction before he proceeds.

 

That reaction is not quite what he’d expected as Thorin jumps to his feet and grabs him by the collar. “Did you say writing kit?”

 

“Christ, Thorin!” Thranduil grabs his wrist forcing him to let go. “Pull yourself together, man! Yes, I did say writing kit, what of it?”

 

“I gave him that,” Thorin gasps for air as he feels his legs buckle underneath him. “Oh Lord, I gave him the kit, I made him promise to keep practising his letters.” _Had Kili forfeited his freedom in order to honour his promise to him?_ His head snaps back up to his friend. “Where did he send him? Did he say?”

 

“All he said was a _behavioural correction institution_ ...”

 

“An industrial school? A reformatory school? Which, Thranduil? Which one?”

 

“I don’t know!” Thranduil grabs Thorin by the shoulders, trying to calm him down. “I don’t know,” he repeats more calmly. “I could not ask too many questions, Thorin, I was already pushing my cover. I … I did what I could, I am sorry.”

 

“No,” Thorin whispers, clasping his friend’s arms. “Thank you, I know you risked a lot to do this.” He turns himself round and slumps back onto the sofa, burying his head in his hands. He can feel the possibility of ever seeing Kili again slipping away from him. _How many of such establishments were there even in London?_ McTavish was Kili’s father, he would have no trouble getting him into an Industrial School even if technically Kili was too old for it. A reformatory school was a different matter altogether, requiring referral from the courts for young offenders who had first spent time in prison. But Dwalin was a barrister and he would surely be able to circumvent the system with the right contacts in the right places. He is not even sure if there is such an institution in London, however. He generally does not deal with juvenile offender and therefore this was beyond his area of expertise but he believes that those referrals were usually to places in the West of the country - Birmingham, Bristol … Was Kili no longer even in London? He feels the despair fill up his entire being. Without a clearer indication of where Kili may have been sent to he will never be able to find him.

 

“Thorin?”

 

He is startled from his desperate thoughts by his lover who sits down next to him and strokes his arm in reassurance. Except tonight it offers no assurance whatsoever.

 

“Maybe McTavish has done the right thing,” Thranduil tries carefully. “There is something you should know, Thorin. I did not mention it before because I had thought the matter settled and I did not want to get Kili into trouble with you.” Thorin looks up and stares at him in anticipation. “He tried to rob me once. In the market, he tried to steal my golden pocket watch.”

 

Thorin’s mouth falls open. “What?!” he whispers, his eyes wide. “When?”

 

“The morning after I first met him. He didn’t know it was me.” He takes Thorin’s trembling hand in his own. “He was lucky that it was me or he would have been dragged straight to the Old Bailey, you know it Thorin. I told him I would not mention it to you if he would never do something so stupid again.”

 

Thorin thinks back to the conversation with Kili later that same day. How the boy had asked him hundreds of questions about punishment for theft … It was the evening that he had first embraced him and had sent such confusing feelings through his body. He had lied to him though … He had not just shown a curious interest in the workings of the law. He had thieved again and tried to work out the risks of such behaviour. And Thorin can feel a coldness creep into his skin.

 

“It was not the first time either, was it Thorin?” Thranduil says quietly. “Kili mentioned he’d been disciplined by you before. For theft.”

 

Thorin nods slowly. “It … it was medicine … for his sick mother. I disciplined him of course, but the boy had just tried to help his mother.” He had been able to forgive Kili for his misdemeanour that day, knowing he had acted out of desperation. But trying to steal his lover’s gold watch was a different matter altogether. “You should have told me,” he admonishes his blond lover. “I am … was … his master.”

 

“Perhaps I should have,” Thranduil shrugs, “but I wanted to give the boy a chance with you. I could see how much you cared for him and how Kili was smitten with you.”

 

“I will never see him again,” Thorin suddenly sobs, unable to stop the tears spilling from his eyes. He feels annoyed with himself, stupid for the way he feels about the reckless teenager. But he can’t help it. He had tried to ignore his feelings, pass them off as lust - which could be easily satisfied in another way - but he knows he is fooling himself. Ever since that kiss he had asked himself the same question over and over again. Why Kili? Why did he not feel that way about Thranduil, who was incredibly handsome, insanely clever and of the same class as him? He did care for Thranduil of course, a lot. From the first moment he had peered into those clear blue pools he had felt tingles that he had never felt before. The blond had this way of sweeping him off his feet, stirring the most intense desires inside him. And he was a great friend too, one he trusted beyond measure and one of the few people who knew exactly how to handle him - his volatile moods, his stubbornness and his lusts. But he had never seen Thranduil as anything more than a friend whom he was intimate with. It had never even crossed his mind. He had never been in love with a man before and had not even thought such a thing possible. He could accept his warped physical desires, but love? He had loved his wife, really loved her. Then how could he ever think to have such feelings for a man?  

 

But … “I love him.”

 

“I know you do,” Thranduil says to his surprise, stroking his cheek and forcing him to look at him. “But I do not know what else I can do to help you, Thorin.”

 

“There is nothing,” Thorin shakes his head sadly. “You have done so much already and thank you,” he says again, knowing full well that his lover had gone far beyond the agreement of their relationship for him. “Will you stay tonight?” he asks softly.

 

Thranduil hesitates. He had not intended to. But Thorin looks so hurt he is worried he might do something stupid. “Of course, darling,” he says soothingly, stroking through Thorin’s thick dark hair.

 

“Just … just hold me …” Thorin says as the blond begins to run his hands more eagerly down his back. He is tired and he does not feel horny in the slightest after hearing about Kili. But he would like the warmth of his friend in his bed tonight. Just to offer comfort and compassion.

 

“Sure, darling,” Thranduil smiles, a little surprised. He has never stayed in Thorin’s residence without having sex with him and it feels like their relationship has just slid onto another plane altogether. He follows Thorin into the bedchamber and takes off his suit and shirt, but keeps on his cottons as he slides himself under the sheet next to Thorin. He pulls Thorin into his arms and continues to stroke his hair until the older man drifts off to sleep.

 

+++

 

It was early afternoon and Kili follows Bilbo into a communal living area. It was poorly lit, with candles on the floor, and two dozen or so boys were lounging around ranging from his age till early adulthood.

They were all in ragged clothes and had an unkempt look about them. Most had long knot-filled hair. Some were laughing and joking loudly, but deep down inside they were broken and hurting. Some boys were playing cards, gambling with what little cash they had and other objects such as sweets, while others were sat with metal tankards and bottles of alcohol and pipes. Each boy had the same look in his eyes; a look of complete numbness.

 

Bilbo leads Kili through the room to a small group in the corner. A boy with long black hair looks up with a smile. “Hey Bilbo, didn't see you yesterday, were you with clients all day?” he asks then turns to Kili eyeing him with interest. "Who’s the boy?" he asks.

 

“Tom, this is Kili,” Bilbo smiles brightly at the other boy. "He came here yesterday .I have been showing him around."

 

The dark haired boy puts out his hand which Kili gladly accepts. "You seem nervous. You’ll get along really well ‘ere," he says in a cockney accent and guides Kili over to a spot. "Bilbo do you want a smoke? Bummed some off a client," he explains, offering the packet to Bilbo.

 

The curly blond gratefully accepts then holds the packet out to Kili. The brunet hesitates; he has only ever have puff's on cigarettes before, had never had a whole smoke. He looks around the group, who were all staring at him and he reluctantly accepts one.

 

“Don’t talk much does he," Tom says, offering Bilbo his match box.

 

"Be nice, Tom," Bilbo scowls at his best friend. "He's a pageboy," he indicates Kili's apparent innocence in their secret trade language.

 

“Not for much longer,” the older boy jokes inappropriately then smiles at the brunet. “You're going to be popular, I can tell," he beams holding out a lit match to the cigarette and lighting it.

 

Kili can't help but cough as he inhales the nicotine. "What’s a page boy?" he coughs, looking at Bilbo.

 

"A boy who hasn't been indorsed yet," Bilbo grinds his teeth nervously as he pinches Kili's arm. "Right?" he reminds the brunet of his promise not to tell what they had done. He trusts Tom, but he's not so sure that some of the other boys might not blab to Aunt Molly if she were to ask.

 

Kili nods as Tom looks from him to Bilbo knowingly, but does not say anything.

 

"You hungry, Kili?" Tom asks, smiling. As he reaches for a bag and produces some liquorice laces and starts handing them around the little group

 

"A little," Kili answers and accepts the funny tasting sweet.

 

Then Tom turns to Bilbo. "You got any more of that ale, so we can give our pageboy a proper welcome?" he winks at the brunet, who gives a nervous smile back.

 

"I got better than that!" Bilbo grins and he ducks behind the worn sofa and pulls up the loose floorboard that hides their secret hoard. He pops back up holding up a bottle with a third of a sickly green liquid in it. "Ta da!" he smirks triumphantly.

 

Kili looks at the other’s delighted face and frowns. “What is it?" he asks as Bilbo pours out the odd coloured liquid into a glass.

 

"It's the Green Fairy, Kee," Bilbo smiles as he motions one of the other boys to go nick some sugar from the pantry. "It will make you dance,” he laughs.

 

When Kili continues to look confused Tom wraps his arms around his shoulder."I like this one. He's so cute. Like a puppy," he laughs teasing the boy.

 

"A drunk puppy soon!” the boy whom Bilbo had sent off to get sugar joins in the conversation. He scoops a generous heap of sugar into the glass.

 

"The gentlemen pour ice water over a sugar cube," Bilbo explains the ritual to Kili. "But we'll have to just drink it like this." He raises the glass, “To Kili!" and takes a sip, pulling a face as the strong liqueur burns his throat, before handing the glass to Kili.

 

Kili looks at the innocent looking drink then shrugs taking a huge gulp. The taste is so strong he almost spits it out. It tastes a little like the liquorice he had tasted earlier, but he knows he has an identical face to the one Bilbo had pulled earlier. "People actually drink this?!" he says astounded as he watches Tom down the remainder, laughing at him.

 

Tom tops up the glass. "Have some more pup," he jokes, holding it out again.

 

By the time they reach the bottom of the bottle, Bilbo feels himself swaying on his feet. “You okay, Kee?” he grins at the brunet, hoping that the alcohol has taken the edge off his nerves for what is about to come.

 

Kili gives him a dopey smile. "Yeah fine, better than fine," he slurs slightly. The green liquid had helped numb all of the pain that had been caused to him. He could no longer feel the sting of the whip marks nor feel the emotional pain. "I like that stuff, you got any more?" he asks, leaning on Tom to keep himself steady.

 

"I think you've had plenty, Kee," Bilbo looks at the new boy with a slight concern as he suddenly has a vision of Kili puking on his first client. "Anyway, we need to get ready now," he eyes the clock, knowing that the hands in that particular display mean that clients will start to arrive soon. "Remember what I've told you," he guides Kili out of the room and he runs through the whole thing one more time with Kili, just to be sure, from preparation of the room and preparation of oneself, to the little bell that signals the arrival of a client, how to address a gentleman and finally cleaning up afterwards. "Alright, Kee?" he looks at his young friend.

 

Kili has paled a little as he is reminded with a jolt about why he is here. He tries to talk but all he can manage is a nod. As they near his room he begins to shake with fear..

 

"You'll do great, Kee," Bilbo gives him a wink and then pulls him into a strong hug. "Good luck," he whispers before hurrying towards his own room to ready himself.

 

Kili is left watching him as he hurries away. Horror fills him up as he enters his little room and slumps down on the floor hoping to wake up from this nightmare.

 

He lets out a quiet sob as his bell rings.

 

**_Thursday_ **

 

"Thorin."

 

He wants to ignore the voice, ignore the hand that is shaking him. What's the point in waking up? Kili is gone and he'll never see him again.

 

"Thorin darling, wake up.”

 

"Go away,” he snarls, pulling the sheets back up again.

 

"I am going away, that's what I'm trying to tell you.”

 

Thorin slowly opens an eye and blinks at the American. "You're going away..." he repeats.

 

"I have a convention up North I need to attend this week,” Thranduil explains as he finishes getting dressed. "I won't be back in London until Christmas Eve."

 

Thorin pushes himself up, rubbing his face. "Okay, "he sighs."I am going back to Erebor Hall for Christmas. My brother is coming over. I guess we won't see each other for some time then."

 

Thranduil sits back down onto the bed and looks at his friend. "I guess not,” he agrees. Then with concern, "Will you be alright?"

 

Thorin nods in acknowledgement. "I will," he says, not entirely convincingly. "I always have been, have I not?"

 

Thranduil brushes a hand over his beard and pulls him in for a long kiss. "You have," he smiles. "I will see you in a few weeks then. Look after yourself, darling. And Merry Christmas."

 

"Yes, Merry Christmas," Thorin says softly, though his heart feels anything but merry. When the front door falls closed behind his lover he pulls the blankets back up again. He knows he needs to pull himself together. It is ridiculous the way he is acting over a fifteen year old streetrat! He is a thirty-four-year old widower and a high standing member of society. But right now he is not ready to face the world that had robbed him from the one person he's felt such strong feelings for in such a long time.

 

The worst thing is feeling so utterly powerless to do anything about it. He wants to march over to McTavish and beat the truth about out of bastard Scot about where he's sent Kili. But that would give away Thranduil's cover, would tell the man that the American knows him – with all the associations he wants to spare his lover - and that he had played a game with him. After everything his friend had done for him he cannot betray him like that.

 

He angrily turns himself over, burying his face in the pillows as he attempts to forget his pain for a while longer.

 

**+++**

 

Kili watches the man leave. He feels nausea rise up inside him. He is disgusted at himself and pulls his knees up to his chest. W _hy, you are a dirty little whore now,_ he thinks and cannot help but sob into his knees.

 

The brunet looks around his little room and closes his eyes imagining he was at Mr Oakenshield’s home with the man’s arms around him comforting him. "I miss you," he says out loud and thinks about running back to his gentleman's home, then quickly dismisses it, _He can do better than me_ he thinks bitterly and begins rocking.

 

He crawls up the bed and looks out the small window at the dark streets below; he watches as gentlemen come and go and suddenly begins to panic about when he will next be expected to work.

 

He lies in his little metal bed and pulls up the covers over his head, trying to block out the sound of the working whorehouse, the sounds of men finding their release he puts his hands over his ears as he can hear the sound of a metal bed bump against the wall.

 

He thinks of the memory of Mr Oakenshield and himself walking along the streets below only a few days ago and wishes he could turn back time.

 

He longs for the tall dark-haired man to run his fingers through his hair and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. To feel his breath on his neck. The teenager reaches down for the ring and places it on his finger. Love for his gentleman floods through his body and his entire being longs to be touched and caressed by the tall man’s large hands. He takes his shaft in hand and rubs his fingers over his slit. He cannot help but let out a groan of pleasurable delight as he begins to run his hand along his length. He cannot help let out a pleasurable moan as his body gives into the sweet sensations and begins thrusting into his hand until he loses himself in a pleasurable bliss. Kili feels his balls tighten and comes heavy with the name _Thorin_ on his lips.

 

He lies on his back and closes his eyes wishing himself away from the run down house.

 

Then his bell rings which announces the next client and the brunet sighs and begins cleaning himself up ready for the next rich man.

 

**_Saturday_ **

 

As he stands before the black facia of Madam Molly’s pleasure house Thorin feels so many conflicting feelings that he almost turns round and takes the carriage straight back home. The last time he was in this street was with Kili, their last night together, the first time they had kissed … Normally this is the place that makes him forget all his worries and the stress of his work, a place to relax and enjoy himself. But tonight it only seems to stir his anxiety rather than anything else.

 

Still, he cannot stand here hovering on the doorstep in plain sight. He either goes in or goes home … In the end he decides to stick with the original plan. Surely once inside one of Molly’s sweet boys will take care of him and make him forget everything for a while. He opens the door and steps into the softly lit foyer, where he is promptly greeted by the owner of the house.

 

“Good’eve mister,” she purrs at him, giving him a wide grin. “Welcome back.” She has not seen the tall handsome gentleman for a few weeks now and she is glad to see her well-paying and well-behaved client back, although as always she regrets the man’s taste, thinking what a shame it is that such a fine strong presence of a gentleman prefers to use the backdoor. “What can I get y’tonight, mister?”

 

“The blond boy,” Thorin instructs. “Bilbo. Is he is free?”

 

“Indeed he is, good mister,” Aunt Molly nods and pulls at the bellcord to the blond’s room.

 

A few moments later the seventeen-year-old descends the steps and then grins brightly as he sees his client. He has served this gentleman a number of times and he has always been kind and tipped handsomely. “Evening, mister,” he smiles cheekily and turns back round for the man to follow him back upstairs, walking several feet ahead of the gentleman who by now knows where to find his room.

 

Kili finishes cleaning himself and then realises how dry is throat is. He opens the door then walks into the poorly lit corridor he can hear footsteps from down the hall he smiles as he spots Bilbo and opens his mouth to speak he then looks past him and spots a tall gentleman in a suit his face instantly drops as he recognises the man and rushes back into his sleeping quarters his heart pounding in his chest.

 

Thorin blinks hard against the ghost of the boy who has just fled back into his room. Kili. He must be completely losing his mind as he would have sworn that that was Kili. It cannot be, don’t be ridiculous! You are seeing things! He realises he has stopped in the middle of the hallway and that the blond boy is waiting for him. He wills his legs to move, even though they feel like lead. As he passes the door behind which the brunet boy had disappeared, he hesitates, staring at the wood as if the object will tell him the truth that lies beyond. Stop it, Thorin! he scolds himself and drags himself away from the door that is not of his choosing and towards the bedroom at the end.

 

Kili can feel himself hyperventilate as sheer panic sets in. _No, no, he can't be here! He can't!_ he keeps repeating to himself as he begins to pace his room.

 

Panic quickly gets taken over by shame and horror what if he has seen me, he will know what a dirty bastard I have become and can feel tears roll down his face as he sinks to the floor in a corner of his little room feeling utter despair wash over him as the little bell announces his next client.

 

“Are y’allright, mister?” Bilbo asks carefully as he watches the tall gentleman hover in the doorway. He appears distracted tonight, but Bilbo thinks that is nothing he cannot help the man with as he begins to pull down his breeches.

 

“No,” Thorin holds out his hand, more in indication that he does not want Bilbo to continue to undress just yet than in reference to his state of mind. He closes the door behind him and walks up to the blond boy who stares at him in confusion. “Bilbo, the boy that was just on the landing, the brunet boy … What’s his name?”

 

Bilbo cocks his head at the gentleman, thinking he may have just been passed up for the newcomer. “The new boy? Kili?”

 

He watches in horror as the handsome man buckles before his eyes, his face contorting into something that balances between despair and such hatred that he takes three steps back in fright. “Why sir, do you know him?”

 

“Kili …”the word is but a whisper as the man stares blankly at his hands as if he is trying to find the answer to some impossible question there.

 

Suddenly a terrible realisation dawns on Bilbo. “You’re Kili’s gentleman?!” he exclaims before he realises how inappropriate that question is.

 

Thorin stares at him in horror, frozen under the weight of what is happening. “I am …” he suddenly finds his voice again and swirls round yanking the door back open as he storms down the hallway towards the room in which he had seen Kili disappear.

 

“Sir!” Bilbo calls after him in vain. Sir, you can’t go in there!”

 

The door flies open and Kili jolts from his spot knelt in front of the gentleman. He tries to move away from the middle aged man but he has a tight grip in his hair.

 

Thorin takes in the scene before him in but a fraction of a second, before the anger explodes inside his chest like a volcano. “GET OFF HIM!!” his deep voice tears through stunned silence in the room and before anyone can react to the invasion he has taken several strides into the room towards the man who has his hands on his Kili - and worse. He swings the surprised man around and before the man has even taken in good and well who his assailant is he punches him square in the face, sending him flying backwards against the wall.

 

The gentleman falls to the floor and looks up at his tall attacker. “What was that for? If you wanted a go with the boy, sir, you wait your turn," he snaps, brushing himself off and bringing a handkerchief from his pocket and wiping the blood away.

 

Thorin grabs the man by his shirt and pulls him to his feet, bringing his face right up close to the man’s. “The boy is not for sale, do you understand me?!” he growls, spittle splattering onto the man’s face in his rage. “Now get out of here before I make sure you never get to have a go ever again!”

 

Kili looks at his handsome gentleman in pure shock he wants to speak but doesn't know what to say or do he watches as his client leaves the room as fast as he can and suddenly finds his voice " you...you should go," he stutters, feeling himself flush red.

 

Aunt Molly stares up at the ceiling at all the commotion going on above her head and apologises to the gentleman at her desk. “A moment, mister,” she smiles a sweet smile at him, before dashing up the stairs. Just as she reaches the landing she is almost toppled over by her last client, who rushes towards the exit, still tucking himself in. “Mister!” she cries out. “What’s going on?!”

 

“You, madam, need to make sure you don't double book your boys," he says angrily. " And I will take my custom elsewhere," he adds slamming the front door shut behind him.

 

The round chested woman stares after the angry client and then back up the stairs again, confused as to what is going on. She rushes towards the end of the hallway and comes to a skidding halt behind Bilbo who stands frozen to the spot in the doorway to her new boy’s bedroom. “What in hell’s name is going on?!” she hisses at the blond boy, pushing him roughly aside.

 

Bilbo takes a quick step back but cannot tear himself away from the scene. He cannot believe the man who was about to indorse him is the gentleman that his new friend has been talking about nonstop. He can’t believe the same man just nearly knocked another client out cold and is now sat on his haunches in the middle of the room with his head in his hands, whilst Kili has crawled to the far end of his bed as if the man might strike him if he moves. “I dunno Aunt,” he whispers softly, although the madam is not paying him any attention.

 

Kili looks around as he sees Aunt Molly in corridor and opens his mouth to explain then shuts it again unsure what to say or do.

 

The madam looks at the gentleman, whom she had sent off with Bilbo, in surprise and thinks there must have been some confusion. “Mister,” she begins carefully. This man is a good client and she’s never had no trouble from him. “Mister if you’d rather Kili here …”

 

Thorin jumps to his feet, his eyes flaming as he addresses the woman. “Who brought the boy here?!” he bellows at her, pointing his finger at Kili.

 

The madam takes a step back, shocked by the anger in the man’s voice and stance as she considers whether this situation is escalating and she needs to call in help from one of the older boys. “Mister, that is confidential …”

 

“Who brought him here?!” Thorin adds even more volume and menace to his voice as he steps up the her and backs her against the wall. “I left this boy, who was in my care , with his father in good faith that he would be looked after. Now who brought him here?!”

 

“I … I can't tell ya, sir, he did not give'is name …” the middle aged woman squeaks as the tall gentleman's eyes bore deep into hers.

 

Thorin twists round and grabs Kili’s arms, yanking him towards the edge of the bed. “Kili, tell me!” he growls. “How did you end up here? I know you were with McTavish on Sunday!”

 

Kili flinches at the man’s touch. “You should go, sir. This is where I belong," he says unable to look the man in the eyes and cowering in fear.

 

“What?!” Thorin gasps incredulously. “No! You’re coming home with me.” He looks at Kili, suddenly losing his nerve and he lowers his voice to a kinder tone and gently pushes Kili’s chin up, shuddering at how frightened the boy is. “Kili, please will you come home with me?”

 

Kili shakes his head, "I am a whore, sir, and you are a gentleman. You can do much better than me," he whispers tears filling his eyes to the brim, and tries to scramble backwards away from Mr Oakenshield.

 

Thorin kneels down onto the bed, the frame creaking under his weight, and he cups Kili’s face in his large hands. “Kili, look at me. You are no whore. Whoever did this to you, I will make them pay. Now please let me take you home.” When the boy still looks unsure at him with his big brown eyes, he bends himself closer. “Kili, I love you,” he states with as much sincerity in his voice as he can and presses his lips softly onto Kili’s.

 

Kili allows himself to be drawn into the kiss the warmth from the gentleman's body relaxes him and he leans his head on his shoulder. "Love you too," he whispers, taking the older man’s hand in his.

 

Thorin turns his head to the madam. “I will pay whatever debt this boy owes you and then I am taking Kili home with me.”

 

Both Bilbo and Aunt Molly stare at the two men incredulously. “T … ten guineas,” the madam utters in shock. “Is what I paid for the boy.”

 

Thorin is not even going to argue over the fact she has most probably made that back tenfold knowing the prices she charges. But his Kili is worth a thousand times that and he pulls his wallet out and takes out two five pound notes and a pound coin and throws them on the floor. “For your troubles,” he snarls and gets to his feet. “Is there anything here that belongs to you?” he asks Kili, holding onto his trembling hand.

 

Kili looks up at Mr Oakenshield and can hardly believe he is awake. He had dreamt of him taking him away from this place, but had lost faith it would actually happen. “I have nothing,” he says, thinking of all the lovely clothes he had bought him that had been taken away from him and feels guilty about how much trouble he has caused this man.

 

“Then we go,” Thorin states, wrapping an arm around the teenager, feeling such a need to protect him flood through him. He pulls the brunet with him, past the stunned madam and brushes past the blond boy, feeling his cheeks colour at the thought of what his original intentions of coming here had been.

 

“Sir, can I say goodbye to my friend?” Kili asks looking at Bilbo and feeling sudden sadness about leaving him behind.

 

Thorin freezes as he realises who Kili is referring to and feels his blush intensify. “Of course,” he nods and lets go of Kili’s hand as the brunet turns back to the rent boy. He is unsure what to do, confusion raging inside him as he feels a deep loathing towards himself. He takes a few steps down the hall to give Kili some privacy with his friend as much as wishing to distance himself from the awkward situation.

 

Kili wraps his arms around his friend’s shoulders. “Thank you for everything,” he says thinking about how much he had taught him over the last few days. “Maybe you could come and visit me,” he says wishing he could take him away with them too.

 

Bilbo smiles a shy smile at the brunet, feeling happy that the boy gets to go back with his gentleman lover, but confused and sad all the same. “You look after yourself,” he returns the hug. He cannot promise anything, how on earth would he be able to visit? He glances over Kili’s shoulder at his handsome client and quickly lowers his eyes. “I am sorry, Kili,” he whispers in embarrassment.

 

Kili looks at Bilbo with confusion. “Sorry for what?” he asks, pulling away from his friends and looking into his clear blue eyes

 

The blonde nods towards the well-dressed man. “I … I did not know he was your gentleman,” he whispers, shuffling his feet.

 

Kili finds himself smiling. “It’s okay Bilbo,” he reassures the older teen. “As you said you didn't know and I’ll visit you and you can visit me I’ll...I’ll miss you” he ends promising himself he will find a way to visit him even if it’s just at the little shop him and Thorin went to.

 

Thorin jolts when Kili grabs his hand. “Let us go then," he says softly and guides the teenager out of the premises, ignoring the madam staring after them. When they are on the street and in the fresh air he turns Kili to face him, grabbing him close. “Kili, are you alright? I am so sorry. What happened?”

 

Kili looks into Thorin’s eyes and sees guilt behind them. “I’ll live but I may need to get my back seen to it bleeds every now and again,” he grimaces  as it gives a painful twinge.

 

“We will get you to a doctor tomorrow,” Thorin strokes a reassuring hand over Kili’s face. “Now let’s get you home.” They walk in silence to the carriage stand, where Thorin helps Kili climb into the coach. Once seated, as the carriage begins to move, he looks at the boy and opens up his arm to offer him comfort. “If you’ll allow me …” he says softly, knowing that much has passed between them.

 

Kili curls up under the gentleman's arm feeling safe for the first time in days and then he remembers and reaches down to his shoe and brings out the beautiful ring. “Sir, this belongs to you,” he says offering him the valuable jewellery.

 

Thorin stares at the precious item in shock. “My wedding ring …” he takes the jewel from Kili’s hand. “I thought I had lost it …” He turns towards Kili, “Where did you get this?”

 

Kili gulps. “I ... I slipped it off your finger when I was being dragged away. I didn’t mean any harm by it and I vowed to get it back to you. I just wanted something so I could feel close to you. I’m sorry,” he says, trying to explain and lowering his head in shame unsure how he will take this piece of news.

 

The older man remembers the conversation he had had with his American lover, about Kili’s repeated problem with taking other people’s property. He should scold Kili, be angry with him. Perhaps he should even listen to Thranduil’s advice. But all he can feel is the slight trembling of the teenage boy, whom he had let down so badly. “Thank you for keeping it safe,” he whispers. “And for returning it to me.” He gently pulls Kili closer and presses a lingering kiss on his head.

 

Kili lets out a sigh of relief as he allows the gentleman to comfort him. “All I have wanted to do is get back to you even when he beat me, and whipped and locked me in the dark the thought of you kept me going” Kili admits yawning and wraps his arms around Mr Oakenshield’s waist .

 

Thorin sighs and bites back his tears as he cuddles the boy. There are so many things he wants to say, so many questions he wants to ask. But there will be plenty of time for that. Right now all he needs to know that Kili is safe with him and he holds him in his arms.

 

When they arrive back at Gray’s Inn Kili is fast asleep in his embrace; clearly everything that has happened has taking its toll on the young man. So reminiscent of the night not even that long ago that it makes him shiver, he scoops Kili into his arms and carries him towards his residence. But unlike that night, he carries the boy into his bedchamber, places Kili’s abused body gently onto the bed. He takes off his overcoat and then lays himself down next to the boy, gently cradling him back into his arms. He does not dare undress him like he had done the last time, afraid of what he might find and afraid to scare the boy after the obvious trauma he had endured. Instead he just holds him, rocking him, kissing him softly and he too falls asleep.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of 100 kudos! Thank you all so very much our lovely readers, we love every one of you!
> 
> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by LadyLuna

Kili awakes and just lies there unwilling to move he had had the loveliest of dreams about his gentleman that he had come for him and he wasn't ready to give up on his fantasy just yet. He moves to turn his position when he feels a strong pair of arms holding him in a warm embrace. He snaps open his eyes looking up at the beautiful face of Thorin Oakenshield. His heart feels like it may explode with happiness and he leans up and places a gentle kiss to his lips.

Thorin is startled from his pained dreams by a brush against his lips. His eyes flick open in confusion only to gaze into the wide, deep brown eyes of Kili. He smiles faintly at the youngster as a myriad of emotions come rushing back at him. “You’re here …” he whispers and brushing Kili’s wild hair  out of his face - even cut short it refuses to play game - before returning the kiss, unsure at first, but then deeper, longing.

Kili feels the brush of his beard against his face and pushes his tongue into the older man’s mouth and begins running his hands along his back feeling the warmth underneath. “I didn't think I would see you again,” he says breaking the kiss.

“I did not think you would want to see me again,” Thorin whispers back, surprised that Kili appears so easily forgiving. “I should have fought harder for you. If I had known that you... I would have... “ He lowers his gaze in shame.

Kili learns forward and tilts his head placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “None of this is your fault,” he whispers, planting little kisses down his neck. “You were not to know,” he adds.

Thorin can feel himself stir under the loving touches and kisses and he moans softly when Kili nibbles at his neck. He pulls the young man closer against him. “You're so beautiful,” he groans, running his large hands over Kili's hips and down his buttocks, squeezing the soft flesh underneath the worn cloth of his breeches. Gently he rolls Kili onto his back and bites softly into the hollow of his neck whilst rolling himself on top of the teenager, pressing his clothed erection down between the young man's thighs as his need starts to pulse through him.

Kili can feel his body freeze at his touch. Tears begin to roll down his cheeks as panic rises up inside. “Get off of me,” he growls and begins to hit at the man's legs. “You have no idea what I have been though!” he hollers trying to push the larger man off him.

 Thorin is up in a flash, blushing fiercely as he realises his mistake. “Kili, I'm sorry,” he gasps. “I thought you wanted to  ...” He almost falls off the bed, scrambling to get away from his shame. “I'm sorry...” he says again and flees the bedchamber.

Kili can feel himself begin to shudder with fear and chases after Mr Oakenshield.”Not like this!” he sobs. “Before tuesday I didn't even know what sex was and since then I have been forced to open my legs for I don't even know how many men!” he says feeling hot angry tears rolling down his face “I will never let a man touch me like that again unless I am ready,” he states strongly.

“Oh Kili, I would not expect you to,” Thorin says quietly as his heart breaks for the hurt in Kili’s eyes. “I did not mean to upset you, to hurt you.” He brushes his hand through his thick black hair as he worries he may have pushed Kili even further away. “I have always turned you away when you showed me affection, so this time …,” he tries to explain. “But I see now I was wrong to do so … I am so sorry.” He looks up at the brunet, his cheeks burning as he dares not approach the boy again for fear of misreading him again. “You must talk to me, Kili,” he says softly. “You must tell me what you have been through, so that I can understand.”

Kili hesitates and bites his lip. “I don't want you to think bad of me,” he says worried looking into his concerned blue eyes.

“I could never,” Thorin tries to assure the youth. “Please sit with me,” he says carefully and he watches Kili tentatively sit down next to him, although he keeps a safe distance. “Now tell me. What did McTavish do to you? Was it him who sold you?”

Kill nods. “On Sunday, after seeing your friend, he whipped me again and I panicked. I broke into his office to get your writing kit and tried to run away. Then he took me there the next night,” he says in a quiet voice looking at his dirty hands.

The sickness rises in Thorin’s stomach. He had found Kili’s biological father obnoxious, uncaring and untrustworthy. But even he could not have imagined a man to be so deprived to sell his own blood, his own son even if fathered outside of his marriage, to a whorehouse. He is not even ashamed any longer of the tears running freely over his face and into his beard as they are cathartic in a way. “Show me your back,” he nods to Kili, remembering his words last night about needing to see a doctor. “Please,” he adds, worried now to frighten Kili with anything he might say or do.

Kili nods and slowly begins to lift up his shirt. “He kicked me in the ribs too it hurts still,” he says exposing the top part of his body to the older man.

Thorin gasps as he sees the damage done to the young man’s skin. The lashes still deeply branded there, some still open and bleeding, others swollen from infection. “Oh Lord in Heaven,” he utters. “Kili, my poor love, you must be in agony!” He carefully takes Kili’s hand, relieved that Kili lets him and pressing a soft kiss on it. “I will call for the doctor as soon as his practice is open,” he promises.

The brunet winces as he pulls down his shirt and it trails across his back. “Is it really that bad? I can't see. I mean it does hurt, but I have just tried to block it out,” he admits then looks at the dirty clothing he is wearing. “And he wouldn't let me have any of my belongings,” he states feeling embarrassed by how he is dressed then he remembers the writing kit. “I’m so very sorry, sir, but he stood on your writing kit,” he says.  

“Do not worry about such material matters,” Thorin soothes him. “We will buy you new clothes. And the kit, it is not important,” he lies. It had been a precious gift from his deceased parents, but Kili is not the one who should bear the guilt of that. “You are important, your safety and well-being.” He remembers something and gets to his feet. “Wait here,” he tells the youngster as he disappears towards the kitchen.

Kili watches his gentleman leave the room and suddenly can't keep his emotions in check and begins to sob into his hands while he waits. Even though he knows Thorin is only in the next room panic starts to wash over him.

“Kili, it is okay,” Thorin rushes back in and as soon as he is within reach Kili reaches out for him. “I am here,” he soothes, trying to calm the teen down again. “Kili, you are safe here, I promise you.”

Kili looks up at the man’s face and all the hurt and pain comes out in one giant wave.  “I tried to be brave, but everything I did he hurt me for.  He said you never wanted me and made me believe it. I thought he was going to kill me,” he admits sobbing into his shoulder.

Thorin does not know what to do or say that could make Kili’s heartache any better as he carefully wraps his arms around the youth. The apologies he had uttered will sound but hollow attempts to silence his further tears if he keeps repeating them. “Kili, you are the bravest man I know,” he whispers softly. “I could not have endured what you have and still be as strong as you are now.” He holds out the bar of chocolate he had bought for Kili on the day he thought he would return to him, the day Thranduil had gone to see McTavish. “Look. I know it does not take away the pain …” he flushes, feeling woefully inadequate in his attempt to help Kili. “But it was something I had hoped to give to you when Thranduil had managed to bring you back to me. I kept it for you, I kept hoping that I still would be able to one day and …” he feels himself well up again as his throat closes up. “Thank God, here you are,” he sobs as he hands Kili the sweet.

Kili smiles through tears looking up at Mr Oakenshield and he feels a sudden rush of emotion for him. “I will never be parted from you again,” he says fiercely and looks at the giant bar of chocolate. “You're trying to make me fat,” he jokes.

Laughing heartily, Thorin retorts, “I do recall there being an issue with you refusing to eat before. So a little padding on those bones of yours will do no harm. Go on, try it.”

Kili laughs. He opens the wrappings and takes a large bite of the bar. “This is delicious,” he says taking another large bite then offering some to the older man.

Thorin smiles as he accepts his share. It had been some time since he had last tasted chocolate - he vaguely remembers Thranduil bringing him some one night, teasing him that it was an old American-Indian aphrodisiac. “It is delicious,” he agrees. But far more enjoyable than the taste of the chocolate, however, is seeing a moment of happiness and relief from worry and pain return to Kili’s features. “Would you like some tea?” he asks, wishing to make the feeling of comfort and homeliness last a while longer.

Kili smiles up at the older man. “Yes please,” he can feel his mind relax. “Would you like me to do it, sir?” he asks unsure of what his role is now.  

But Thorin shakes his head. “Not today. Today I look after you,” he brushes a hand over Kili’s cheek. “And whilst we are alone and in between these four walls, Kili, you will not call me sir. I would like you to call me Thorin.”

Kili looks at gentleman in surprise. “It is not proper to call you by your name, sir,” he replies wishing he was not a servant and of the same class.

Thorin takes a deep breath. He knows he should agree with Kili and leave it at that. But he does not want to play by the rules anymore. He has tried and it has brought the both of them nothing but misery. “You are right,” he says softly. “It is not and neither is it for us to kiss …” He tentatively looks at the boy to gauge his reaction. “But it is what I want to do. If … if that is what you want to still …”

Kili looks into the man’s beautiful blue eyes. “It is, sir. More than anything,” he admits, shuffling closer to the man and taking his large hand into his.

Thorin can feel his heart thump in his throat and there is a slight waver in his voice as he asks, “Then will you be mine, Kili? Will you accept to be my love?” Before Kili has a chance to respond, be quickly adds the truth to the situation. “You must know you cannot tell anyone,” he hastily adds. “It has to be our secret. Outside these walls you will remain my servant, Kili, it cannot be any other way, you must understand …”

Kili nods in understanding. “I accept. I have not been able to stop thinking about you since the train ride here,” he confesses blushing slightly. “I promise I won't tell anyone,” he adds. 

“You are a most remarkable young man,” Thorin shakes his head slowly at his own softness and he gets to his feet to make the tea he had promised Kili.

Kili finds himself following Thorin into the little kitchen not wanting to be parted from him then suddenly has a thought. “But sir, I mean _Thorin_...” and silently curses himself, “what about your friend?” he finishes.

“My friend?” Thorin asks as he puts the kettle onto the stove. “You mean Thranduil? What of him?”

“Will he not mind us being together?” Kili asks nervously and begins running his hands through his hair.

Thorin frowns at his younger sweetheart and cocks his head. “Why, it is not his call,” he states. “He has his own life and I have mine.” then he realises what Kili is referring to. “You mean because …” he feels the colour flare in his cheeks again, but Kili is no longer the innocent youngster he once was, “... because we make a stich?” he finishes the sentence, biting his lip.

Kili can see the older man shift uncomfortably and smiles at the role reversal. “If that means that you have sex then, yes,” he laughs as Thorin flushes a bright red. “Will he be put out to be replaced by someone like me?” He asks taking the older man’s hand.

Despite his embarrassment Thorin begins to laugh. “I see,” he smiles as he looks into Kili’s beautiful eyes. “So I guess that answers the question about whether we will be exclusive then.” He brushes a thumb over Kili’s soft lips. “If you wish to claim me for yourself, my love, then I will tell Thranduil that. And I am sure he will understand.” He looks down at their entwined hands. “Does that mean that …” he knows he should not push his fragile lover so quickly, but he can’t help himself, “... one day … you will allow me to know you?”

Kili smiles at his lover, blushing himself now. “Yes, I would like that,” he admits stroking Thorin’s hand. “But like it or not my father made me into a whore, even if I didn't have a choice and I need to just take it slowly. I want for us so badly to make love. But not yet. Is that okay?” he asks bringing the older man’s hand up to his lips and kissing it softly.

“Yes,” Thorin smiles sadly, regretting everything that has happened to Kili but more than anything the fact that his innocence was stolen from him so callously and in such a gruesome way. “You tell me when you are ready, Kili,” he says softly. “I will not rush you, I promise, and I can wait for as long as it takes.” He brings his lips to Kili’s, kissing him softly. “But I would like it if you would sleep in my bed. Would that be acceptable or am I asking too much?”

“That would be nice. I'd like that,” Kili says softly. “Thank you for rescuing me. And punching that man in the face,” he adds laughing. “Ma Molly's face when she came running to my room!” he says in a fit of laughter.

“That is not funny, Kili,” Thorin says sternly. “A gentleman should not go round punching another gentleman.” Yet he struggles to keep the grin from his face even as he says it. “But no-one lays their hands on my Kili,” he adds softly and he begins to pour the tea and hands Kili a steaming cup. And I am not quite finished yet either, he adds in his mind as his anger flares once more over McTavish. But he will not worry Kili with any more thoughts of that vile man. He guides the brunet back into the lounge. “I will call the doctor in a moment,” he says as he watches Kili shift uncomfortably again. “Also, I had intended to travel back to Erebor Hall tomorrow. My brother and his son will be staying over for Christmas. Would you like to come back with me? As my valet?” he adds.

“I'd love to sir,” the youngster says, smiling. “And I’d love to go back to Erebor. I’ve never really celebrated Christmas. Ma could only ever afford my birthday or Christmas,” he says flushing red.

“ _Thorin_ ,” the dark-haired man states, smiling as Kili continues to call him sir. “Please call me Thorin, my love. So when is your birthday?”

“It was Friday,” Kili confesses. “And a man put his doodle in my mouth for the first time. Not a great present,” he admits shocked to feel tears running down his face when he didn’t even realise he was crying.

Thorin feels sick to the core at the casual statement and his hands are shaking so badly he has to put his tea down before he spills it down his shirt - which he suddenly realises he has not changed since yesterday. He drags a hand across his face as he battles with his emotions. He feels a flaming hatred towards every man who has touched Kili and yet he knows that he himself has enjoyed the services of rent boys many times over the years. He had never spared a thought for how these boys ended up doing what they did, how they felt about having to provide sexual services to men whose names they would never even know. He thinks about Bilbo, Kili’s friend. “I am sorry, Kili,” he whispers. “I am sorry for what I have done. For your friend …”

“Bilbo chose to go there, Thorin. His parents died of consumption I think and it is better than being out on the streets,” Kili repeats his friends words in a hope it will reassure his lover. “And if it helps at all Bilbo is the one that took my innocence,” he admits, taking a sip out of the tea and helping himself to sugar.

Thorin stares at Kili for a long time, unsure what to say. The thought of anyone but him taking Kili’s innocence kills him, but if it had to be anyone then a boy his own age perhaps softens the blow. And he always had found Bilbo a kind boy. “I wish it had been me,” he sighs nonetheless. “I wish I could have saved you from all those things and that you would never have suffered the way you have and that your first time would have been with me.”

Kili can sense his upset and self-loathing and takes Thorin’s hand. “But it was you that did. I thought of you the whole time,” he tells him. “And if I could change these things I would, but I can't. If I dwell on them, they will break me and I will not let that bastard do that, I will not,” he says fiercely.

Thorin sits down next to Kili and cradles him in his strong arms again. “You are so strong,” he praises his beloved. “I will never let anyone hurt you ever again. I will love you and I will show you what love is.” He shivers under the admissions. “I have never been in love with a man before,” he tells Kili softly, feeling that he owes him the truth after Kili has told him so much. “I have only ever been in love with one person before and she died together with my son as she laboured to bring him into this world.”

Guilt wells up inside of Kili. “I am so sorry I stole your ring,” he utters, breathing in Thorin’s musky scent. “I should never have taken it,” he says

“We have both made mistakes,” Thorin gently rubs his new lover’s arms, afraid to hurt his back. “And as you say, we cannot go back and change them. We can only look ahead now.” He gives Kili one more kiss on his lips, wishing to keep kissing him until they are both starved of breath. But Kili needs a doctor badly and he gets up and walks over to the phone. He picks up the receiver, then hesitates. He cannot just ring his surgeon to come here to look at the whipping marks of a sixteen year old boy living with him. He cannot risk any untoward questions being asked, certainly not by a professional. “I will have to take you to hospital,” he turns back to Kili. “Somewhere where they will ask fewer questions.”

The thought of going to a hospital terrifies Kili, but he knows he has to get his back seen to by someone who knows what they are doing and just nods even as he starts to feel physically ill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victorian slang / euphemisms
> 
> make a stitch = to have casual sex  
> to know someone = to have sex (to make love)


	24. St Thomas’s Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and the matron written by LadyLuna  
> Kili and the doctor written by witchesdelite

Thorin senses the youngster’s fear through his trembling hands as they walk towards the entrance of St Thomas’s Hospital on the bank of the Thames. “You will be fine, Kili,” he says softly, before reluctantly letting go of his hand but not before giving it an encouraging squeeze. At least for the fleeting glance from a by-passer they could pass for father and son, one of the few advantages of their age difference. “They will mend your back and then afterwards we can walk across Westminster Bridge if you would like,” he tries to give Kili something to look forward to. The youth had stared in awe at the impressive Parliament building as the carriage took them across the bridge.

Kili feels a little excited about going across the bridge, but gives Thorin a nervous smile. “What will they actually do to my back” he asks as it gives a spasm of pain and he winces. “How are we going to explain my back?” he adds suddenly panicking about getting his love in trouble and he starts biting at his nails.

Thorin rubs his beard. It had been the question playing on his mind from the moment he had closed the front door behind him. “We will tell them as little as possible,” he says quietly as he guides the youngster through the enormous building. “Just leave it to me and don’t worry about it.” He had thought about different reasons to explain why he was taking a sixteen year old with severe whipping injuries to the hospital, including trying to pass Kili off as his son, but every story raised more questions. In the end he had decided to draw on his status as a barrister which he felt confident would force the hospital staff to accept his explanation without too many questions.

Kili nods in understanding, too nervous to speak. He feels worried as they walk down the long winding corridor. People of many ages are sat waiting along the corridor; some do not even look ill although some have obvious injuries.

“Will I be in there long?” he asks, watching a girl who is clutching her arm.

“Not too long,” Thorin attempts to reassure the young man, although he is not entirely sure how long they will be or exactly what the doctors will do. Whatever it is, it is bound to be painful, having seen the infection flaring underneath some of the scarring. “They will disinfect the wounds and dress them. And then you will be free to go and I will buy you some more chocolate,” he smiles kindly at Kili who looks positively terrified and like he might flee at any moment. “Do we have an agreement?” he tries the gentleman approach.

Kili feels a little reassured. It doesn't sound that bad and the thought of more chocolate cheers him up a bit. “Yes we do,” he says, managing a little smile. “And chocolate sounds good,” he adds looking up at his love’s face. “Then the bridge,” he smiles as Thorin steers him into a small waiting room.

“And then the bridge,” Thorin chuckles at Kili’s demands as he runs a hand through his unruly hair, grateful that Kili seems to have calmed a little. “Just take a seat there,” he points to a few spare seats in the busy room as he walks up to the nurse’s station of the outpatient wing.

“Good morning sir,” a well-built matron greets him after a few minutes. “How may we help you?”

Thorin draws on his professional experience to keep his stoic mask in place. “I am a barrister of the courts,” he greets the woman. “The boy there,” he points to Kili who has taken the seat he had indicated, “has been whipped severely and I need his injuries seen to as the marks on his back have become infected. I will not leave a child with such injuries.”

The matron looks over. “How old is he?” she narrows her eyes and Thorin can see her questions in her eyes.

“Fifteen,” Thorin lies, knowing that there is more lenience towards a boy under the age of consent.

The matron stares at the gentleman before her, and Thorin can see she wants to ask why he would take the trouble. He makes a point of pulling out his watch. “I have an appointment to get to so I would like us to be seen as soon as possible,” he presses.

The matron snorts, clearly not happy to be ordered around by the man, but equally accepting that he holds a position of great influence. She briskly shoves a form and a pencil across the desk. “Fill this in, sir, and the doctor will see him as soon as possible.”

 The brunet watches as his gentleman walks back and takes the seat next to him and looks at the paper with interest. “What's that for?” he asks then remembers that they are in public and adds a  _sir_  on the end.

“Just a form to register your details,” Thorin says distractedly as he fills in the required fields. He holds the form up and points to the box at top where he has written something after  _name_. “What does that say?”

Kili screws up his eyes in concentration staring at the word then smiles. “It says _Kili_ ,” he answers proudly looking at the piece of paper wishing he could fill the form out for himself and vows to keep practising so next time he can do his own form rather than rely on his lover.

“Well done,” Thorin praises him with a smile. He hesitates for a moment over the family name. Of course Kili should be Kili McTavish, although he is sure the Scot would never have allowed his name to be used to register the boy. But even so Thorin’s blood boils at the thought of the man and he will not associate his lover with the brute anymore. In the end he decides to use the first name that comes to mind and he writes Nesbitt, the name of the kind hearted pharmacist back home. Once he has filled out the form he hands Kili the pen and paper and points to a space at the bottom. “You need to sign here,” he says. “To confirm your details. Just put a cross.” He watches Kili carefully put a perfect X on the form as if he's signing a masterpiece, before he returns it to the matron and then takes his seat next to Kili again. He hopes they will not have to wait for too long, before Kili will lose his nerve.

After a few minutes Kili begins to fidget impatiently and gets out the chair and starts walking around the room. He walks over to the window and looks out at the passers-by with fascination, still not being able to get over the sheer mass of people who lived in London. He takes a seat by the large window so he can watch them.

Thorin watches Kili as he takes in the world that is still so foreign to him and smiles. He had worried that Kili would be so scarred by his ordeal that he would have lost all of his curiosity and interest in life. But although he realises there is a long recovery still ahead of him, he is now hopeful that he had been able rescue Kili from his fate soon enough that those horrid memories could eventually be forgotten.

Just as he realises that he is staring a little too lovingly at the youngster and drags his gaze away, a man appears in the doorway calling Kili’s name.

Kili jumps at the sound of his name and the nerves come flooding back. He slowly makes his way towards the man who is wearing a long white coat and Thorin and he follow the man down the corridor. He always has to jog to keep up with the other two men as they walk at a brisk pace and when they come to a sudden halt it nearly causes the teen to run straight into them.

“Please, won't you both take a seat” the grey haired doctor says kindly as they enter the little room, and begins scanning the form he has been given. “It says here the young man has whip marks to his back, is that correct?” he asks, looking at the tall dark haired gentleman.

Thorin nods at the doctor. “It is. I work at the bar,” is the only explanation he is prepared to give the man.

The doctor turns to the teenager and looks him up and down. He seems to have accepted the explanation for what it is, as he addresses Kili. “If I could ask you to remove your top and lie down on your front on the bed over there we will have a look at these marks of yours,” he says kindly, indicating to the little bed in the corner of the small room.

Thorin sees Kili freeze at the request and immediately understands how frightened he must be to be asked to remove his clothing for yet another stranger. He knows he has to play this carefully, but he cannot watch his Kili suffer. “It is alright,” he soothes as he puts a hand on his shoulder. “The doctor just needs to see the wounds, it is just your top you need to remove,” he says softly, hoping that the man will ask no further questions as to the odd remark.

Kili nods and begins to undo the buttons of his shirt. His fingers do not seem to want to cooperate and he starts to get angry with himself.  _Get a grip you silly idiot!_ he scolds himself and in the end just pulls up his shirt over his head with half the buttons still done up. He slowly makes his way over to the bed and follows the instructions he has been given.

The doctor slowly examines his patient’s wounds and then turns to the boy’s master pulling him away. “We are going to need to reopen the infected scarring and sterilise the wounds. He will need to be held down as it will be very painful as the scarring is deep. I would guess the boy has been beaten quite a few times and quite severely each time too. You brought him here in the nick of time; another day or two and those infections would have got to the blood,” he informs the gentleman in a low voice so the lad can't hear.

Thorin throws a furtive glance at Kili, his heart aching for the lad. “I will hold him,” he states confidently. “He trusts me.”

The doctor nods. “I will go and get the tools I need. I will be right back,” he says and leaves the small room to go into a side chamber where he starts rummaging through the drawers.

Kili watches as the doctor leaves. All colour draining from his face. “Is everything alright?” he asks his dark haired lover nervously.

“Everything will be fine,” Thorin forces a smile onto his face. He keeps eyes trained the door through which the medical professional disappeared and quickly strokes a hand over Kili’s cheeks and presses a soft kiss on his hand. “Be brave,” he nods to his young love.

Kili wants to ask why he needs to be brave but is saved the question as he sees the doctor return with a long sharp knife. “What's that for?” he trembles, eyes wide with horror and he moves to get up, but Thorin grabs his upper arms and forces him to stay as he is.

“The doctor needs to drain the infection,” he says calmly. “You need to lie really still, alright Kili?”

Kili watches wide eyed as the doctor gets closer to him and he realises what the knife is for. He looks up into the kind eyes of Thorin and nods. He takes slow deep breaths trying to calm himself and forces himself to lie still.

“There's a good lad,” Thorin smiles encouragingly. “Now can you recite the alphabet for me, Kili?” he tries to distract his mind from what's to come.

Kili nods. “A, B, C ,D …” then he halts and frowns trying to remember the next letter. “ F, G, …  no hang onm I missed one outm” he says he can feel Thorin’s hands get tighter. “Sir?” he says unsurely and tries to move.

A sharp stinging spreads across his back and he lets out an agonising scream as the pain intensifies. His eyes are watering with the sheer agony and his breaths are coming out in sharp, shallow rasps. “Please stop! Hurts!” he begs as he tries to move but is unable to. “Please,” he sobs.

“Sssh m... Kili,” Thorin nearly slips up as Kili's screams tear through his heart like daggers. He wants to whisper words of love and comfort to him, but he knows he cannot. “You are doing really well,” he says instead although the words fall so far short of what he wants to say. “It will be over soon. Be brave,” he says again, biting back his own tears.

Kili tries to calm himself but can't help the little sobs. He can feel the blood trailing down his back and he bites his lip trying not to cry out again. He wants to grab for Thorin's hand but settles for clutching the bed frame. All the memories of his father's beatings flash through his mind and tears roll down his cheeks. Every little movement of the knife has him writhing in pain against the bed. He can smell a foul odour and realises it is from his back and weeps louder.

The doctor feels sympathy for the poor boy. Judging by his back he had been through some hard times of late and regardless of what he had done, the kid is a juvenile and he does not agree with such fierce punishment of a minor. “You are doing well. Just one more,” he informs him while wiping the blood and yellow ooze off of his back with a towel.

Thorin feels a bitter acidic taste rise up into his throat and he feels dizzy from the foul smell combined with Kili's heart wrenching cries. He turns his head and closes his eyes, fighting the sickness, as he keeps his large hands firmly pressed down on the top of Kili’s shoulders. He will not give in to his weakness whilst Kili is being so strong and he swallows hard.

Kili feels the last particularly painful slash to his shoulder screams out again, his breath hitching.

When no more pain follows, he slowly dares look up at Thorin. “Is-is it over?” he asks as the doctor puts down the knife on a table.

Thorin looks questioningly at the man in the white coat, unsure what is coming next but certain they are not there yet.

The doctor looks at the youth and can see the pain on his face. “We just need to sterilise the wounds and then bandage them. Then we are done,” he says, grabbing some alcohol off the shelf and uncorking it and bringing it back to the bed.

“One last bit, Kee. You are doing so well,” Thorin whispers, no longer caring that the way we addresses Kili does not really compliment his story anymore. All he cares about is Kili, his pain and his admirable strength. And he swears to himself that he will make McTavish pay tenfold for every scar, every cry and every tear. “Just think of the chocolate,” he tries to smile as Kili stares at him with his beautiful big brown eyes, the trust in him he can see reflected in those taking his breath away.

Kili closes his eyes tight so he is unable to see what is happening as the alcohol runs down his back. He lets out a long scream. “ Stings!“ he shakes.

“Will this take much longer?” Thorin growls softly at the doctor, wishing for it to be over as much as Kili does.

The doctor smiles at the gentleman “That’s it, sir, just bandaging,” he says grabbing the bandages.

“Will you have a look at his ribs first?“ Thorin stops the man as Kili is made to sit up and flinches again. “He's been kicked also and they still hurt him. Could they be broken?”

The doctor inspects Kili’s ribs carefully. “No permanent damage, just bad bruising” he declares and wraps up the bandages around the boy. After a few moments he turns to the tall man. “All done” he declares.

“Good,” Thorin nods as he helps Kili off the table, wincing as he can see the pain in his love’s face. “Will he need to come back here?”

The doctor looks at the tall man. “It will need to be bandaged again in a couple of days. And if it does not improve he may need some leeches to help clean up the infection,” he ends.

“Thank you,“ Thorin says, knowing that they will not be able to come back here as they are travelling to Erebor soon, but knowing that he will be able to take care of that himself or ask his brother if necessary.

The doctor turns to the lad. ”You did well lad and you are free to leave,“ he smiles then exits the room.

“You have been so brave,“ Thorin smiles warmly to Kili. “I'm so proud of you.”

Kili forces himself to smile back. “That was more painful than when he actually did them,” he admits struggling with his shirt due to pain.

“I'm so sorry, Kili,“ Thorin sighs in frustration and carefully helps Kili get dressed. He checks over his shoulder to make sure they are alone and then presses a soft kiss against his neck. “Let us go then,“ he guides Kili out of the room through the long corridor towards the exit.

“Look Kili, it's snowing!“ he smiles at the young man, pulling his coat a little closer around him. “I have a much better idea to satisfy your sweet tooth than a chocolate bar. Something that will warm your belly too,“ Thorin grins at the brunet and he strides ahead towards Westminster Bridge.

Kili tries to keep up with the same pace but his injuries will not allow him. He looks around at the blanket white road and smiles, thinking how beautiful it is and longs to be a child again and build a snowman.

“That is the...“ Thorin points at one if the buildings in the distance, turning towards his love, only to realise Kili has fallen behind, hampered by his back and other injuries. He curses himself for his carelessness as he takes a few steps back until he's level with Kili again. “Can you manage?“ he asks, concerned. “Would you prefer to take a carriage? “

Kili shakes his head, determined. “ I'd like to walk and explore“ he says with a smile. His head is spinning and his eyesight will not focus properly, but he takes a few more slow steps forward. “We might just have to take it slow, that's all” he says when he sees the concern on Thorin's face “ I'll be fine” he reassures him when it doesn't shift.

Thorin wants to offer Kili his arm as support and he curses the world that they live in, which prevents him from looking after the person he loves as he would have had Kili been a woman. The injustice of it eats at him like a tumour, but he nods at Kili, keeping the proper distance he's expected to. “You set the pace,“ he smiles. “And tell me when you need to stop.

As they cross the wide river Thorin educates Kili on the various sights, the history and purpose of some of the buildings until they stand before the impressive Elizabeth Tower. “The clock tower was designed by Edmund Beckett Denison. And the building contract was awarded to John Dent in 1852,” Thorin chats; he had always found modern architecture fascinating and it was a passion that got Thranduil and him talking in the first place. But he soon realises a sixteen year old is probably not interested in these boring facts and trails off. He looks up at the clock face and smiles as he sees it is two minutes to ten. “The big bell inside is called the Big Ben. If we wait just a moment, Kili, we will hear her chime,” he says with the enthusiasm of a child in a toy shop.

Kili smiles at his love as he babbles excitedly about the huge tower, then frowns. “Sir, how do you know the clocks a girl? You called it a  _her_ ” he states, looking up at the clock face.

Thorin begins to laugh hard at that. “I don't know that,“ he chuckles. “Sometimes objects, especially objects of great value or beauty are referred to as 'her'. But I suppose with a name like Big Ben maybe it's a boy. What do you think? “

Kili smiles. “Got to be a boy” he laughs and takes in the huge tower “ It’s very grand” he comments taking in all the detail of the huge tower.

Thorin looks at the brunet and his chest floods with love for him. “I agree,” he says, and as if the tower wishes to stress the point the deep ring of the bell promptly announces the hour.

Kili watches as the tower chimes. “Think Erebor hall needs one of these” he jokes looking at the face.

“Poor Jayne would be terrified! “ Thorin smiles. “Now can you tell me what time it is?” he points to the clock face.

Kili looks at the clock; he has no idea. “Um, eleven o'clock?” he guesses, wishing he had paid attention to the chiming.

“Almost,“ Thorin says, happy that this is another something that he can teach Kili. “There are twelve points on the clock, do you see the dark stripes on the edges?” he points again. “And two hands, see. When the big hand points straight up it means it is a whole hour. And the little hand tells us which one. Now if the mark at the top is twelve and the little hand points two marks back, do you know which hour it is?”

Kili frowns at the clock. “Why are there letters?” he asks as he looks at the markings inside the ring with the ones Thorin had mentioned.

“They're Roman numbers. From a very long time ago,“ Thorin explains and he pulls out his own pocket watch so that Kili can have a closer look. “People think they look nice on a clock. I think so too,” he smiles as he lets Kili examine his watch.

Kili takes the watch in his hand and  looks at the numbers. He had stolen watches on quite a few occasions but never really looked at them properly. “It’s ten o’clock,“ he says looking away from the clock and beaming at his gentleman.

“Well done,” Thorin gleams with pride at his young love. A shiver suddenly goes down Kili's spine as he realises how cold he is and he wraps the burrowed coat further around him. Thorin cocks his head at the young man.  ”Shall we go and warm up somewhere?”

“Yes please” Kili replies as his back gives a painful pang also. He wants to reach for Thorin and wrap himself close to him for warmth but settles for his own arms and wraps them around his body.

Thorin walks ahead of Kili towards the main street, this time making sure to pace himself to allow Kili’s injured body to keep up. At the slower pace it takes them about fifteen minutes before they reach the coffee house he had aimed for and he too is grateful for the warmth when they finally get out of the cold winter air. He leads Kili to a little round table by the window so that the youngster can watch the happenings on the street outside. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly, his concern over the boy growing with every step they take.

Kili nods “ I'll be okay just a bit sore” he answers. In reality it feels like his back is on fire but he doesn't want to worry his lover.

“After this I'm taking you home,“ Thorin frowns. “You need to rest.”

Kili can't help but feel a little disappointed at this statement. Even though his back is paining him, he is enjoying himself. “Do we have to?” he asks quietly “ there’s so much I want to explore” he says, looking out the window.

Thorin looks at his handsome sweetheart. “We have a long journey on the train tomorrow,” he says seriously. “You need to look after yourself. Besides we do not have to explore all of London in one day. When we come back after Christmas we have all the time in the world.“ Suddenly a worry fills him up. “You do want to come back to London with me, don't you?” He half expects Kili to say no. Regardless of their promise of love to each other London has so far brought Kili nothing but pain; surely he hates the city by now.

Kili looks around to check that no one is looking and takes Thorin’s hand in his. “ As long as I am with you I am happy” he says in a low voice. “So if you are coming back to London then so am I,” he adds then lets go of his hand as someone walks near the table.

It takes Thorin a couple of deep breaths to compose himself as his heart flutters. “Two hot chocolates please,“ he places his order with the waitress. When she leaves to prepare the drinks, he smiles what he thinks must be a ridiculous grin at Kili. He's never felt like this before, never heard anyone speak such honest sweet words to him. Even Arwen had never made him feel so utterly love sick and he cannot quite believe that at his age he is being swept off his feet by a teenager. “That makes me so happy,“ he whispers, looking into Kili's beautiful eyes. “I promise I'll make you happy,“ he lowers his voice even more. “As much as it's within my power.”

Kili gives him a loving smile. “You already make me happy,” he says honestly feeling his cheeks blush at the confession. “ I like the sound of hot chocolate,“ he babbles enthusiastically and his stomach gives a huge rumble. “Think I'm hungry“ he adds laughing.

“That's not something I thought I'd ever hear you say,“ Thorin smiles happily. “And what, sir, would you like to eat?”

“ I don't know,“ he laughs. “McTavish didn't let me eat very often“ he says in a more serious tone. His face drops and he looks at his hands. “Kind of makes me appreciate food more” he mutters. 

Thorin is grateful for the interruption as the waitress puts the pot of hot chocolate and two small cups before them, as he can feel his blood boil at the mention of McTavish. He presses his nails into his palms to try and calm himself. “Thank you. May we also have some mince pies,” he says to the waitress. Then he turns back to Kili. “Forget about him,” he growls low in his throat as he starts to pour the hot thick liquid into the cups. “He will not harm you anymore.” He pushes the liquid chocolate towards Kili. “Here, taste this,” he smiles, although the earlier feeling of pure happiness is now overshadowed by the reminder of what had happened and what he still has to do.

Kili smells the hot drink first. “Smells nice” he comments as he gets a sweet scent off of it and takes a small sip. It tastes delightful and creamy with a hint of cinnamon mixed in. He smiles happily at his gentleman. “You spoil me” he says taking another sip

“I like to spoil you,” Thorin admits. “And you deserve it.” When the waitress returns with two plates of mince pies, he pushes both towards Kili.

Kili tucks into them instantly. “These are good. Aren't you having any?” he asks, demolishing the first one in ten seconds flat.

Thorin shakes his head with a grin. “You eat,” he nods towards the pies. “And enjoy it.”

Kili scoffs the second one just as quickly then pushes the plate away. “I am stuffed now” he smiles and takes a sip of the creamy drink then yawns.

“Good,” Thorin smiles contently. They sit in silence for a while, each sipping at the warm drink. When they have each finishes Thorin calls the waitress over and pays their bill and some more. “A merry Christmas,” he smiles to the young woman and gets to his feet.

“And a merry Christmas to you both, sirs,” the girl blushes at the two handsome men as they leave the little coffee room.

“We’ll make our way home and then you can rest,” Thorin tells Kili as they slowly walk across the pavement which now has a thick dusting of snow on it. “There is just one shop I want to stop at on our way back, if you can manage to walk for just a little longer. And then we will take a carriage home the rest of the way,” he looks questioningly at the brunet.

Kili nods. His back had begun to stiffen as well as hurt so he is even slower. “Can I hold your arm, sir? It might help steady me,“ he says as he can feel his body start to ache all over.

Thorin hesitates for a moment as he scans the street. He knows it is not proper and it is risky. But the pained look on Kili’s face makes him throw all caution into the wind. “Of course,” he holds out his arm to the youngster and guides him slowly along the street until they reach the little watch shop on the corner. He turns to the brunet. “I told you my nephew is coming to stay for Christmas. He is the same age as you. What do you think will be a nice watch for him?” he asks Kili as they look through at the window display.

Kili examines all the watches of different shapes and sizes, some golden while others are sterling silver. However Kili's eyes fix on a watch which has a webbing of swirls and a tree on the back. “That one’s nice.  I know it’s not the grandest one, but it has character,” Kili says with his face up to the window so he can get a better look. 

“Then that one it is,” Thorin smiles and he promptly enters the shop, asking the owner to take a closer look at the watch the Kili had pointed out. “What do you think?” he asks the brunet, handing him the heavy piece of jewellery under the watchful eye of the jeweller. “A fine watch for a young man?”

Kili stares at the beautiful watch in awe as he turns it over in his hand. “It’s even better close up “ he comments as he examines it and reluctantly hands it back to his lover, sadly wishing he could afford such an item.

Thorin turns back to the shopkeeper. “I would like to purchase that one,” he says as he pulls his wallet out. Kili watches as the shop keeper puts it into a box. He feels jealous of Thorins nephew and hopes he appreciates the beautiful gift.

Thorin accepts the carefully wrapped present and wishes the shopkeeper a merry Christmas also, before he guides Kili back onto the street. “Homewards now,” he says as he holds his hand up to stop a carriage. As he glances over at Kili he can see it is none too soon as the brave boy looks like he is about to topple over.

 As they take their seats side by side, Thorin pulls Kili into a careful embrace, worried to hurt his open wounds. “I want you to know how proud I am of you,” he whispers in the brunet’s ear as he presses a kiss on his temple. He takes Kili’s hand and wraps it around the little box with the watch. “Happy birthday, my love.”

Kili looks up at him with tired eyes and they widen when he sees the box. “For me??” he asks shocked and an overwhelming flood of happiness creeps over him.

“For you,” Thorin smiles at him. “I knew if I had said it was for you, you would not have accepted it or perhaps picked a cheap one. Now I know it is the one you really like. I will teach you how to tell the time on it. I know it cannot make up for the terrible birthday you had, but it is the best I can do,” he sighs, feeling inadequate.

Kili can feel tears of happiness spill from his eyes. “It’s perfect. No one has ever done anything like this for me. Thank you so much” he says and leans up and kisses Thorin tenderly on the lips and snuggles up against him, feeling the luckiest man in the world right now.

 


	25. Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin written by LadyLuna  
> Dwalin written by witchesdelite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning! Contains Non con Thorin/Dwalin. If you do not want to read, this can be skipped and the rest of the story will still make sense.

He had helped Kili take off his shirt and slacks and had tucked him in under the sheets. By that time Kili had been so exhausted from everything that he had accepted it without complaint and fallen asleep almost straight away. He had just managed to reassure the young man that he needed to pop out for a few hours to pick up some papers from work - which was a lie as he had already asked his clerk to bring the papers around later - and that he'd be back as soon as possible, but probably not before dusk, before Kili's eyes had fallen shut and his breathing had become deep and relaxed.

Now he is ordering a shop assistant around to get him another set of shirts and perhaps the fur lined black gloves he had shown him just now after all. It is as much a necessity as retail therapy to placate his guilt over Kili's fate as a way to pass the time as he checks his watch every five or so minutes. McTavish is a man of habit he knows and he will be leaving his working chambers in twenty minutes time exactly. Before he returns to his home on the edge off the city he will stop at The Black Friar for a glass of Scotch. Thorin feels more like a private investigator than a barrister to have gathered all this information during the time Kili had gone missing, but he supposes that is one of the perks of his job and the circles in which they both move. As much as a risk it is to his own secrets, in this case it had worked to his advantage that everyone around the bar seemed to know each other's business.

"I'll pick these up in an hour," he indicates to the pile of clothes, shoes and other items he had decided Kili would need, as well as the pile of Christmas presents for his nearest and dearest. "I have an appointment I need to get to now. Please can these be wrapped up." The shop assistant nods at the rich gentleman and begins to put the items into different stacks as Thorin leaves.

As he walks in the direction of the river Thorin thinks of a strategy. Would it be better to have his say to the Scot before he enters the pub or wait for him to leave? He hasn't exactly decided on what to say either. He will have to be careful, will have to watch his temper and not make this situation worse for all involved. But he's not just going to let this nasty piece get away with what he'd done to Kili unchallenged.

As he walks across the bridge he checks his pocket watch again in the light of one if the street lanterns. Dwalin should be on his way now and he can feel his heart race as he braces himself for the confrontation.

Just as the pub comes into view and he starts to get anxious about the fact that he has still not decided whether to catch the Scot before he enters the pub, all rational decision is taken from him as he spots the man walking down the sidewalk. His heart beats so loudly in his chest that he thinks it would drown out the Big Ben itself. He realises his hands are shaking as his rage at the man bubbles to the surface when he sees him. There is no hesitation as he strides over to the tall Scot, the last few paces more a jog as he picks up speed. "You!" he shouts at the Scot, his finger raised accusingly.

Dwalin looks into the angry Englishman’s face and can see his temples pulsing with anger. "Good evening Mr Oakenshield" he says with a sneer.

Thorin grabs the Scot by the lapels of his winter coat and throws him with his back against the wall before the man has a chance to say anything else. He had not intended to go in all guns blazing, but the sheer sight of that arrogant smirk is tearing away every bit of his restraint. "Don't you dare good evening me like all is well," he hisses at the bald man.

Dwalin’s smirk instantly changes to fury at being manhandled. "Release me, sir, or I will not hesitate to have you arrested," he snarls trying to push against the tall man to free himself.

Thorin pushes Dwalin's shoulder hard against the wall with one hand, whilst the other wraps around his throat. "You threaten me, you dirty swine?" he sneers back. "You who sells his own flesh and blood to a mollyhouse?"

The Scottish man gasps for breath then tries to bring his arm up to strike him, “I had no idea it was any of your business what I do with my possessions" he growls and brings his head forward.

"You primitive rat," Thorin anticipates the move this time after it had caught him out the last time and he lowers his forearm, elbowing the man in his chest as he pushes harder against his throat. "No other man is your possession, I have reminded you of that before. You seek to dishonour me? Let us see what the magistrate thinks of enslavement. That's if I do not kill you first!" he brings his face close to the older man's, his eyes blazing.

“You dirty wench, do not issue idle threats to me, you faggot," he snarls and spits in his face. "The boy is a good for nothing whore. I took him to a place when he can use his talents," he smirks watching the man's temper flare further.

Thorin pulls back his fist and lets it come into contact with Dwalin's face with such force that he is not even sure if the sound of bones breaking is the Scot's or his own. "You filth!” he shouts and lets his fist come down again. “I care not for your pathetic insults!" he shouts. "And don't think I will not put my words to action!" And he punches the man a third time, this time knocking his head to the side as blood splatters onto the wall. “I will gladly throttle the breath from you, you scumbag,” he brings his forearm against the man’s throat and begins to push up against his larynx.

The large Scottish Man gives a gasp for breath as the large hands squeeze down on his throat, his vision starts to fade and he grabs wildly panicking and his fist comes into contact with the tall Englishman face causing him to loosen his grip a little " i will make sure i ruin you for this you Bastard" he growls and hits out again feeling the man finally let go and gasps for breath .

Thorin begins to laugh as he runs his hand over his burning cheek. “How refreshing that you are taking on someone your own age and height for once,” he smirks. “Must take quite some guts from someone who usually picks on defenceless youngsters, you pathetic excuse of a man.”

The Scottish man Snarls " the brat deserved it" he thunders angry to not have the upper hand, The gentleman's rage seemed to fuel his attack and give him strength " that boy is nothing but dirty and perverted such as yourself sir. perhaps you wanted him back so you could have your own dirty whore" he goads trying to flare up his temper enough to cause so much noise it attracts passer bys so they can be witnesses to his assault. 

But Thorin is not going to let him push the game his way again. His fury has given him the strength of lions and he pushes the Scot into the alley. All he wants is for this man to suffer as Kili had suffered. He cannot kill him, he knows that. But he will give him the worst punishment for what he had done that he can think of. “You call me perverted? I will show you how perverted I am” he snarls furiously, his blood pumping through his body at speed as his adrenaline drugs his senses. “You want to know what it is like to be my whore?!” he growls in his ear, as he pushes the bald man face first against the wall, keeping his cheek pressed against the hard stone as he holds him firmly in place.

The Scottish man tries to buck the englishman off his back and kicks in between his legs " get off you faggot" he growls kicking with all his might, trying to overpower the englishman, only to find that the other is so much stronger than he'd given him credit for. 

“You are running out of insults, " Thorin sneers. "Let’s see who the faggot is tonight,” he says menacingly, as he yanks at the Scots breeches until his button flies across the alleyway. “You are going to scream like a nancy.” And with force he yanks the Scotsman’s trousers down and pushes his legs apart.

The full situation sinks in and he begins to holler " you will regret this, you and that little slut of yours i'll see you both hang, you filthy godless swine" he screeches and jolts as he feels a hand move up to the back of his neck holding him into place so he is unable to move his head.

“Do not make idle threats to me, sir,” Thorin hisses in his ear, repeating his own words back to him. As his left hand keeps the large man pinned in place, his right moves to open his own trousers. “You don’t want your fellow men of the bar to know how you got socratised against a wall like a caterwauler. You drag me down and I promise you I will take you down with me, my pinchcock.” He drags his hand across the man’s cheeks like he would do to a lover, relishing the helpless thrashing of Kili’s tormentor. “I will tell the courts how you loved it. How you begged me to fuck you like a whore. You forget I am no lowly teenage servant that you can bully around. That I too know how to play this game,” And he pushes him hard up against the wall as he breaks him.

The bald man lets out a cry as he is breached " you bastard" he hisses as He can feel himself get ripped open and his eyes begin to water at the humiliation of it all and he continues to try and break free.

Thorin just laughs an empty laugh at the struggling man. He takes no pleasure what he is doing to him, no more than the expression of frustration and fury he had felt when he had let his fists rain down on him. "How do you like being treated like this, hm?" he snaps as he thrusts himself between the man's buttocks with force. "Just think of your son, what you put him through, you pig, as you whimper and whine like a little girl for me."

The scottish man begins to growl in fury, he can feel a trickle of blood run down his legs as the man pounds into him hard, the feeling of helplessness creeps across him, as he is forced to take what this man is doing to him. He tries to keep quiet, to not give the Englishman the satisfaction but can't help let out a grunt and silent curses himself.

"You like that do you, bitch? " Thorin growls in his ear as the other groans, his breath on the man's pained face. 

" go to hell faggot" he responds wishing he could get at the man's neck to break it.

Despite his revulsion at the action, the friction is setting in motion his body's natural reactions and he can feel himself approach his peak. But he won't waste his seed on the bastard Scot, will not take any pleasure from this. Without warning he pulls back, causing the big man to yelp in pain once more. "You are not even worth it, " he pushes the man to the ground and spits on him as he quickly puts himself away and buttons his trousers back up.

The Scottish man hurriedly pulls up his breeches " you sick parasite" he snarls and rushes forward reaching out for his throat in fury.

Thorin's body is still fueled by the adrenaline and he sends the man flying backwards with a well aimed punch to the face. "Everything I have done to you is still too good for you, you filth," he rubs his knuckles. "You are an unholy man, " he spits at him, feeling a coldness creep into his every cell. "You may sit in church reciting your prayers every Sunday, but one day you will have to face your Maker for your sins! And you will burn in hell!" he growls at him before straightening his coat and turning on his heels as he starts to walk away from the heartless man.

"Then we will both burn together !!" the Scottish man calls after Thorin taking a hankie out and wiping the blood off his face.

He watches the tall frame disappear from view then can't help but let out a huge sob and he scrambles around the dark alleyway looking for his belongings, cringing a every move pulls at his delicate wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Victorian slang -  
> to socratise = to have anal sex (presumably from Socrates)  
> caterwauler = a whore who works the streets  
> nancy (or nancy-boy) = a feminine homosexual (sometimes used for a drag queen)  
> pinchcock = whore


	26. Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by LadyLuna

Kili awakes to darkness and realises he must have been asleep for hours. He looks at the other side of the bed, smiling, and feels his face drop as he is met with an empty bed. He slowly gets out of bed and begins to shiver.  " Thorin!" he calls out unsurely. He looks around the room and spots his lovers chamber coat and puts it on to give him a little extra warmth from the bitter cold room. He makes his way out of the bedroom and into the living room to find it also deserted and ice cold. He spots some wood in the fireplace and wonders if Thorin would mind him lighting a fire. He hesitates for a second then reaches for the matches, unable to stand the cold.

Thorin pushes the door open with his foot, drops the bags in the hallway and walks straight through to the kitchen where he opens the tap and holds his painful hand under the icecold stream until his fingers feel numb. He feels sick to the core. He had gone through the motions of picking up his shopping as in a daze. But once in the carriage the realisation of what he had done had returned to him and almost made him throw up. He has no regrets; he had wanted the man to suffer not just physically, but emotionally, like Kili had. McTavish got what he deserved and he knows the Scot will remember not to cross him again. He is also not concerned over him going to the magistrate; he will not admit to being buggered in an alleyway like a cheap whore. McTavish knows it would only be his word against another barrister’s; he will not risk his reputation over it. But he feels disgusted nonetheless at the memory of it and he wants to scrubs the flesh off his bones to cleanse himself.

Kili hears sounds from the kitchen and rushes straight in there with a smile on his face. He takes in the scene in front of him and instantly feels concern wash over him. “What happened, you're bleeding!" he asks and takes Thorin’s hand in his examining the damage.  

Thorin is startled by his lover’s touch and roughly pulls back his hand. "It's nothing," he snaps, wrapping a towel around it. "It's cold in here," he tries to change the subject.

Kili instantly feels hurt but decides to be persistent.  "You are covered in blood," he states, feeling his eyes widen at the sight of his blood stained clothing. "Are you hurt? Do you need a doctor?" he asks panicking.

“No, I don’t need a doctor!” Thorin snarls at Kili and pushes him aside as he flees into his bedroom. All the wants to do is rip off his clothes and wash the dirt stained on his skin from him. He looks down at his coat and shirt and realises he must have made more of a mess of McTavish than he thought as there's blood splatter on both. He throws the items in the corner of the room and pours the water from the large jug that Kili had filled as part of duties into the basin, scrubbing his face vigorously, before moving on to the rest of his body. He scrubs his skin so hard that it is left glowing red all over. Finally he wipes his privates with the flannel, feeling a vicious sickness rise up inside himself once more as he remembers the feeling of having the brutish man pinned up against the wall as he had raped him. He stumbles over to the bedpan and throws up nothing but water and bile as he has not eaten anything all day, clutching his stomach until he has not even that to give anymore and he collapses on to the bed, naked and utterly exhausted.

Kili can feel tears fill his eyes wondering what on earth he has done to deserve his anger and slowly makes his way into the living room. His back shoots pain all up his body with every step causing his breath to catch as he winces. He sits on the floor putting his hands up to the fire trying to warm his ice cold hands.

When Thorin finally returns to the lounge, dressed in a casual tweed pair of trousers and a plain shirt since Kili is still wearing his chamber coat, he finds Kili sat huddled by the fire on the floor. “Thank you for making a fire,” he says softly. “Did you sleep well? How is your back?” he tries to pick up some form of casual conversation.

Kili shrugs " I'll live" he says coolly looking into the fire and avoiding looking towards the older man,

Thorin stares at the teenager for a while, realising he has upset him but unsure him to repair the damage. He is not very good at apologising, especially for something he does not feel was entirely his wrong. "I have bought you new clothes, " he tries to say cheerfully to try and ease the tension between them. "A nice new wintercoat and some gloves. Would you like to try them on?" he asks as he pours himself a glass of brandy. "Would you like some brandy?" he holds the glass out to Kili when the young man continues to ignore him.

Kili can feel his temper bubbling away at the surface ready to explode. It takes all he has not to shout at him, " No I would not like some brandy" he replies through gritted teeth. Thinking back to the blood it dawns on him suddenly and he turns to face his older lover. “You went and found him," he states looking into his deep blue eyes.

"It is not of your concern," Thorin looks away and takes a large sip of the brandy himself since Kili had rejected his offer.

" IT IS MY CONCERN!" Kili hollers then thunders out of the room into the kitchen. "Do you not trust me is that it?" he shouts pouring himself a glass of cold water from the tap " all I want to know is what happened to your hand" he says a little more quietly hurt flooding through him.

Thorin is utterly gobsmacked; he cannot remember the last time anyone raised their voice at him - discounting McTavish whom he's written off as a human being. He stares after the teenager, dumbfounded. "Who do you think you are?! " he shouts after him as he downs his glass in one and then follows the teenager into the kitchen. "I... " he swallows hard, unsure how to react to this situation as his mind tells him not to accept this behaviour from a servant boy but his heart tells him Kili, his love, has a point. "This has nothing to do with whether I trust you or not, " he says curtly, crossing his arms defensively.

Part of Kili wants to back down while the other part wants to rage. " I spilled my heart out to you this morning, told you things I am ashamed of and would like to forget, and you can't even tell me what happened to your hand" he growls taking a large gulp of water and turning back to the sink not wishing to look at his lover any longer.

Thorin sighs, biting back his stubbornness. "I know you did,” he whispers. He bites his lip, battling with himself. He really wants to forget what happened, but equally he cannot stand Kili accusing him of not trusting him.  "Yes, I went to see him," he says quietly. "I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want you to worry about it." He looks at the brunet, his heart weeping for him. "You've had to deal with enough already." He wants to hold Kili but suddenly feels there is a chasm in their understanding of each other's motives that he does not know how to bridge and he turns to walk back to the lounge.

Kili lets out a sigh he looks around the kitchen and spots a towel which he dampens and takes back to the living room. "You shouldn't have, I'm not worth it," he says quietly and takes his gentleman's large injured hand in his and gently starts dabbing the swollen knuckles with the towel.

Thorin stares at the kind gesture and then looks at Kili, his concerned frown as he takes care of his minor injuries. He wants to tell him to stop, that it's nothing and that he will live and that he does not deserve his kindness. That he's not weak and Kili's injuries are so much worse and not self-inflicted. But he swallows his pride and lets Kili look after him, as it's clearly what he wants to do and he finds he likes the boy fussing over him. "He got what he deserved," he says, deciding that that is the end of the matter and he will say no more of it. Then he smiles softly at the young man. “You are worth the world and beyond.”

Kili finds his body stir excitedly at these words and his face begins to flush pink. He brings his love’s hand up to his lips and places a tender kiss on the swollen hand. "I love you," he says and wraps his arms around Thorin in a warm embrace.

“And I love you,” Thorin whispers back as he cups Kili’s face gently in his hands, relieved that they appears to have made up. He leans himself forward, but then hesitates, unsure if he is moving too fast. “I want to kiss you,” he makes his intentions clear, but simultaneously asking for Kili’s permission.

Kili leans forward and moves closer to his. “Then do it, lover," he purrs.

Thorin smiles and closes the gap between them, pressing his lips onto Kili’s. The gentle brush sends jolts of excited energy through his body and he immediately deepens the kiss, pulling Kili in closer and massaging his soft lips with more vigour. As Kili parts his lips he does not hesitate to fill his mouth with his tongue, teasing it around his lover’s, exploring the wet warmth. His eyes have fallen shut as he focuses purely on that wonderful sensation of their passionate kiss, of the heat rising inside him as Kili answers him with equal desire.

Kili begins running his hands along his gentleman's lower back, feeling the warmth of the flesh underneath. He starts slowly, but can feel his arousal against his breeches. As he explores his movements become more quick and urgent. He reaches for Thorin’s trousers and looks at his lover unsurely.

The older man hesitates for the briefest of moments as the memory from earlier that night flashes before his eyes. But he pushes it from his mind angrily. _No! Forget it! That had nothing to do with this. It was a punishment like beating your fist into the man’s face was, it was never for pleasure! You do not hide your hand in shame, then why should you punish your cock for the same?_ He takes Kili’s hand in his firmly and slowly moves it to press against his bulge. “Touch me,” he pants into the boy’s mouth. “If you want to …”

Kili begins to move his hand along Thorin’s clothed erection causing the older man to groan out in pleasure. “Is this ok?" Kili asks nervously as he runs his hand along the length of the outline of his clothed hardness.

“Real nice,” Thorin moans softly and he strokes Kili’s thigh firmly, squeezing the flesh underneath the cloth. He shifts himself a little and pushes up his hips, pressing harder into Kili’s hand. “You make me so hard,” he whispers through their passionate tonguing and he fumbles for his button, undoing his slacks.

Kili excitedly feels for his lover’s prick and slowly pulls him free and takes his member into his hand, running his fingers along the underside of his cock, causing the older man to shiver. He moves his hand slowly along the length of his cock in a fist, enjoying the sounds his lover is making. He slowly moves his hand over his slit and can feel the man's juices and continues to stroke his shaft spreading the sticky substance to all over his cock.

Thorin’s breath comes in short hitches as his young lover works at his prick. “So good, my love,” he pants, bucking himself up into Kili’s hand and he can feel all the tension melt away as he gives in to pleasure. Tentatively he moves his own hand to the inside of Kili’s thighs, stroking inwards until he brushes against the hardness between them. He looks up into Kili’s eyes, dark with lust. “You do want to do this, don’t you?” he asks unsurely. “I don’t want you to feel pressured …”

The brunet smiles “Of course it’s what I want," he replies, continuing with his hand movements “I want to make you happy" he adds and speeds up his hand movements.  

“I want to make you happy too,” Thorin kisses his neck as his hand slides to cup Kili’s privates, making his own length twitch with lust. He pushes Kili back against the pillows and he spreads his legs a little further. “I will take good care of you,” he moans softly against his neck, running his tongue along his salty skin.

Kili lets out an excited groan as Thorin begins to touch his shaft. He closes his eyes and his breath hitches. But then they are brought back to reality with a bump at the sound of a knock on the door. Kili looks up at his lover with wide eyes. “Can’t we just ignore it?" he asks disappointed.

Thorin is inclined to agree, but then the knocking repeats. He flushes a bright red as he hastily starts to tuck himself back in. “My clerk …” he utters breathlessly. “He was supposed to drop the papers of earlier … I am sorry, sweet, I have to get this.” He checks himself over, wondering which bit will raise the biggest question - his casual dress, his bright red cheeks or the visible arousal in his trousers. There is not an awful he can do about any of it right now, so he decides to just act casual as he walks down the hallway and pulls open the front door.

The young clerk looks up at his employer with shock. “Are you okay, Mr Oakenshield?" he asks, eyeing the unusual untucked shirt and casual dress.

“I am.” Thorin answers curtly. “Have you got the papers?” He is normally more chatty to his clerk, but right now he wants to get rid of him as soon as possible and return to more pleasurable business.

The clerk hands over the papers sensing the older man's mood he decides not to try and make conversation. “Is there anything else you need me to do while you are away over the Christmas period, sir?" he enquires, sensing the gentleman is not alone.

Thorin impatiently shakes his head. “No thank you, this will do. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas,” he says eager to rid himself of the clerk and return to his lover.

Just then the clerk sees someone rush across the hall behind Mr Oakenshield and disappear into a room on the other side. "I’m sorry, sir, have I disturbed you while entertaining?” he says apologetically.

Thorin feels his cheeks burn as his head flicks back and he can just see the bedroom door close. “A little,” he mumbles, thinking that he is really pushing his luck and cursing Kili for his foolishness. “So I had best wish you a goodnight,” he starts to close the door. “Thank you for bringing the papers and enjoy the season.”

" And you too, sir" he smiles thinking how nice it is to see Mr Oakenshield have company rather than sitting in on his own and makes his way into the snowy night.

Thorin slumps against the door drawing in a deep breath. He waits a moment until he is sure the clerk is not going to come back and then takes long strides towards the bedroom.

+++

“Kili, he saw you!” he snarls. “You cannot …!” His words die on his tongue as he pushes the door to his bedroom open and takes in the beautiful sight before him. “Oh …” is all he manages to say as his mouth hangs open and his prick jumps to attention.

Kili flicks his eyes to the doorway when he hears the door click and stills his movements, hastily pulling the blanket up in a reflex to hide himself. “I couldn't wait any longer" he pants looking apologetic and blushing profoundly.

“You eager little thing,” Thorin grins and he walks up to the bed and pulls at the blanket to reveal his treasure underneath. “Please continue,” he smiles as he begins to unbutton his shirt whilst he watches Kili stroke himself. “You look amazing,” he sighs breathlessly at the display before him. He undresses himself slowly, his eyes trained on Kili’s who stares back at him, his pupils widely dilated. “Will you allow me to join you?” he asks softly when the last item of clothing drops to the floor.

Kili can't take his eyes of his lovers muscled body as he walks over to the bed. _His body is beautiful. He is beautiful_ , he thinks and places a kiss on his shoulder, when Thorin sits down on the bed. "Please do" he pants, eyeing his bare chest and running a hand along the toned abs. “You are so handsome" he comments and finds his eyes run back down to his privates and can feel his face flush.

Thorin beams at the compliment as he lays himself down next to Kili and slowly runs his fingers along Kili's skin. He feels the coarse material of the bandages brush against his hand and looks at the younger man with concern. "How is your back, my love?" he asks as he plants hot wet kisses on his shoulder.

Kili lets out a little needy moan. “Sore. It feels sore," he replies and starts exploring his chest kiss and pulling at his nipples.

Thorin yelps at the tug and then begins to chuckle at his horny teenage love. "But not so sore that it stops you tormenting me," he observes and he bites softly at inside of Kili's wrist. "But if it gets too much you must say," he says in a more serious tone. "You must allow your wounds to heal. "

Kili smiles at his gentleman's concern. "Promise, lover," he says, moving to the other nipple licking a strip over the other bud.

Thorin closes his eyes and groans softly at the tease of his sensitive nipples. "You're good," he sighs and his hand slides down to touch his moist cockhead.

 Kili continues his assault on Thorin’s chest. But moves his eyes to watch Thorin’s hand as he starts moving it. “You are so gorgeous" he whispers and moves his attack to Thorin’s neck, nibbling just behind his earlobe.

As his left hand continues to please himself Thorin's right feels down Kili's soft stomach until he feels his hot heavy member. He tentatively runs his fingers along the heated flesh, listening to the little whimpers of pleasure coming from Kili. "Do you like that, my love?" he asks huskily, wanting Kili to lead their play as they had agreed.

Kili pants and groans at the older man’s gentle stimulation on his cock. He nods. "Don't stop," he pants and bucks his hips thrusting into his gentleman's large hand and he throws back his head.

Thorin can feel every nerve in his body tingle with excitement. He wraps his large hand around Kili's throbbing prick, abandoning his own to focus completely on his young love's pleasure. He scans Kili's face, the flush in his cheeks, the enjoyment in his smile. He is shocked that he has not enjoyed bringing another pleasure this much before. He knows certainly since he had come to the city he had been a selfish lover. Even with Thranduil he had never really taken the time to just help his friend to his peak. But with Kili his happiness by touching him slowly, lovingly, until the youngster writhes and whimpers with want, is delicious. "You are so beautiful when you're aroused," he whispers in Kili's ear. "I like to touch you like this and make you feel good."

Kili begins to bite down on his lips as he bucks and whines with pleasure, he could never imagine his body could feel this good. Electric currents rush through his body. "So good," he gasps as his lover runs his fingers along his slit.

Thorin turns on his side, pressing himself closer against the young man as he senses the other is close. "Will you fetch for me, my beautiful boy?" he groans against his neck, breathing in his heated scent. He speeds up his hand, smearing Kili's precum along his length as he jerks at him with a hungry intensity.

Kili pants at the increase of speed. "Oh god" he moans as he can feel his movements become erratic. ”Going to ..." he says in warning then spills his essence all over Thorin's hand and collapses back on the bed, feeling like he might pass out.


	27. Painful Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by LadyLuna
> 
> Thank you dear readers for sticking with us through the last few chapters! We love you and your feedback very much! XD

+++

Thorin shivers audibly as Kili's hot seed touches his skin. He pulls Kili closer, moaning softly as he seeks his mouth, forcing his lips apart as he breaches him with his tongue. "I love you,” he pants, his cock pulsing as he grinds himself against Kili's soiled skin.

Kili brings his hands up to his lover’s hair and runs his fingers through it. "Love you more" he smiles and reaches for his gentleman's prick. "Do you want some help?" he asks cheekily, looking up at his face. Thorin hesitates for a moment. He's not been pulled off by another for a long while and suddenly he feels vulnerable with what they are doing. But as Kili's hand already begins to stroke at him the sensation is so amazing that he can only groan an acknowledgement. "Yes please.”

Kili smiles and continues to stoke up and down his length, slowing down as he nears his slit. "You're perfect," he whispers as his lover lets out a grunt and he increases the speed.

Thorin closes his eyes as Kili plays with his hardness. It feels so different to his own hand; Kili is more gentle, a little unsure still perhaps with his innocence having been stolen from him only so recently. But his fingers are rougher. Work hands. Altogether it feels weird and wonderful to have the boy touch him so intimately. "That's good,” he pants as his breath becomes more shallow and he buries his face in Kili's hair.

Suddenly an anxiety rises inside him as he is right on the brink of losing himself and he grabs Kili's wrist hard and holds him still. "Stop!" his breath hitches.

Kili instantly removes his hand as if he had burnt himself. "W…what did I do wrong?" he asks unsurely and moves a little away from his lover.

"Don't go," Thorin begs him. "It's me who's done wrong not you. This is supposed to be about your pleasure. I don't want you take advantage of you,” he rambles.

Kili slowly moves closer and places a soft kiss on his lover’s lips. "You're not, I want to help " he whispers quietly feeling a little hurt and wondering if he had more of a problem with what he was made to do at the whorehouse than he originally thought.

Thorin lies still, battling with himself. There is so much more to it than the reason he had given Kili. "I should not enjoy this,” he whispers, lowering his eyes. "It’s sinful.” He feels ridiculous as he says it. _You have paid dozens of nancy-boys for buggery, you have raped a man and this is what makes you think about your eternal soul?_ he mocks himself. But he knows there is a reason why Kili’s touch had frozen him in place and these are not his own words that have resurfaced, but his father’s.

The brunet feels as if someone had stabbed him through the heart and he rolls over to hide the hurt as tears soak his face. " I thought it’s what you wanted" he sobs into the pillow quietly.

Thorin stares at the ceiling, but his eyes glaze over as a memory from long ago resurfaces. And he lets out a pained sob. As Kili can hear the loud sob he instantly turns his body around to face Thorin and can see the upset in his eyes and his own hurt instantly disappears " Don't cry " he soothes and cuddles his head.

Thorin can sense Kili’s caresses, but his mind has drifted away, lost in a memory that he had forgotten he even had, suppressed over the years through a combination of working his butt off and whenever his warped desires became too much to handle his conscience smothered with brandywine and absinthe before he sought to relieve them. But today, in his frighteningly sober and naked vulnerability and on edge after all that has happened, he cannot stop the tears dripping from his eyes. It is not even the fact that he wants to fuck Kili. It is the fact that he really truly loves him that he cannot give a place in his head.

"Thorin please don't cry" he whispers. He had always seemed so strong seeing him like this made him more human. "You're okay my love I'm here" he says tucking his head into his shoulder.

Thorin sighs and lets Kili wrap himself around him. “I am sorry,” he sobs again. He has ruined it, he has ruined the moment. Kili had opened up to him despite everything and they had enjoyed such a wonderful moment together and now his stupid self-loathing has destroyed it all. He makes to turn away, ashamed of his pleasure and ashamed of his hurt, unable to deal with all of these feelings raging inside him all at once.

Much to his own surprise as Thorin’s Kili cups his face and forces him to look at him. “Talk to me, what's wrong lover?" he asks kissing his nose.

“I should not love you,” Thorin blurts out. “All these feelings, they are wrong,” he squeezes his eyes closed.

Kili frowns. “Why not? We can't choose who we fall in love with. When I first started working for you I never thought I’d fall in love with you. You scared me" he confesses blushing. "But I was wrong, you are kind and caring I will not feel ashamed of loving you and I do not believe it is sin. How can it be when you make me feel so much?" he says stroking the back of his hand.

Thorin snorts as he remembers their early encounters; how the boy had gotten on his nerve whenever he had tried to concentrate on his work back at Erebor, and their subsequent alterations. “I thought you were a useless little brat,” he smirks. “But I was wrong too, you are a very special person, Kili.” He takes a deep breath. “Please my sweet, it is not your fault how I feel. I have struggled with my feelings for nearly twenty years. My father …” he bites his lip and his tongue freezes as his chest contracts at the memory.

Kili senses his hesitation "It’s okay, you can tell me anything. I'm not go think any different of you. Who am I to judge anyone" he says with an encouraging smile and starts trailing his hands along his chest.

“Oh my love,” Thorin smiles back, “you are the sweetest thing. I never doubt the truth in that, but it is not your opinion that worries me. These are my own demons, Kili.” He pulls Kili into his embrace and pulls the blanket on top of the both of them. Now that the heat of their play has begun to dissipate, the chill in the room is becoming apparent. “I am finding it hard to talk about this,” he acknowledges, as Kili snuggles up to him.

"Just take all the time you need, I'm not going anywhere" Kili promises and puts his head on Thorin’s chest then he has a sudden idea. "Would a brandy help you relax? I can make you one if it will help" he offers.

Thorin hesitates. He would like to. Brandy has always been his best friend whenever his emotions threatened to get the better of him. “I think perhaps I should face my feelings sober for once,” he says quietly. “I have a tendency to drown them …” That in itself is a hard enough admission and he grabs hold of Kili’s hand, suddenly remembering his own painful knuckles as he winces.

Kili nods and strokes his hands gently afraid to hurt his sores, trying to relax and soothe him so he doesn't close up on him and waits patiently.

Thorin thinks of everything Kili had been through and how he had told him about those traumas when he had asked him to. And he finds courage in that to tell Kili his own story. “When I was your age, maybe a little younger” he begins quietly as his mind travels back through all those years, “and I first started to have sexual feelings, I soon realised I liked boys as well as girls. I did not know then that that was wrong. My father never spoke to me about love or sex; such were taboo subjects in our household. So I started experimenting. There was this boy who worked on our estate; he was a few years older than me. I was fascinated by him. He was tall and strong. In summer he would work bare chested mucking out the stables and he made me feel all these things I had never felt before, did things to my body that felt exciting and naughty and forbidden all at once.”

Kili nods " I can understand that " he says thinking back to the first time his body fizzled with excitement over him he didn't know if to admit it or not. " That's what happened with you," he confesses and then goes silent waiting for him to continue.

Thorn smiles at that and starts to stroke his hand through Kili’s scruffy hair. He thinks how special this feels, having someone love him so unconditionally, someone who is truly there for him. “You are so sweet,” he whispers again and places a kiss on his head. He takes a moment to enjoy this feeling, before he continues. “Of course even aside from the fact he was a boy, he was also my father’s employee and therefore nothing should ever have happened between us. But as you say, my love, we don’t choose our feelings. And each time I handed the reins of my horse over to him to be brushed down, my feelings seemed to intensify. And as time went on I noticed that he seemed to take an interest in me also. I had no idea what to do with how I felt,” he admits. “I was completely clueless then. But Viggo had a lot more experience than me and one night we kissed in the stables and I knew then that I was smitten.”

Kili smiles at the thought of Thorin and his teenage crush, but if truth be told he also feels a pang of jealousy. “He sounds like a nice boy" he says quickly

Thorin chuckles as Kili grabs his hand a little tighter, enjoying his lover’s possessiveness over him. “I sure thought so,” he teases him a little. “I could not get him out of my head.” But then his face drops. “My father, however, did not feel the same way.” He bites his lip as his memory moves on to that day that had influenced him every day thereafter. “We started experimenting,” he continues quietly. “I knew I was not supposed to hang out with the servants, my father had made that quite clear. However, I had not realised quite the implications my poor choices would have. All I was concerned with were all these exciting new feelings that I felt when we kissed and touched each other secretly in the stables, whenever I thought it was save. And one summer’s evening I brought a bottle of wine with me and we got a little drunk and very careless.”

Kili nods his understanding he wants to ask questions, but decides for once in his life to curb his curiosity and remains silent, listening intently to his lover.

“It was a stifling hot evening and in our merriness and desire we got undressed and rolled around in the hay.” He chuckles at the memory, like some cheap romance novel. “One thing led to another and soon we were kissing furiously and started touching each other.” Even the memory of his first real sexual experience excites him, despite of the way it ended. “So when my father came storming in to the stables there was really not a lot left to the imagination,” he sighs, “our hands wrapped around each other’s arbor vitae as I was on the brink of … well …” he flushes.

Kili feels a sudden rush of sympathy for the older man and wraps his arms around him protectively, wishing he could take away his hurt and pain and begins kiss just behind his ear.

The sensation of Kili’s sweet touches is relaxing and Thorin closes his eyes a moment. But as soon as he does the picture of his father’s face appears behind his eyelids and he quickly opens them again. “I have never seen him so angry before or since,” he sighs. “His face was bright red, contorted in rage. Neither of us knew what to do, we were frozen on the spot. I cannot even remember exactly what happened, other than at some point being carried stark naked across the yard and into my father’s private chambers. All I remember is him shouting at me, that I was a disgrace, a disappointment, a dirty queer, that he was ashamed I was his son. I did not even realise at first it was because I had been caught lying with a boy. And he beat and caned me until I had no tears left in me.”

Kili can feel his grip had tightened around Thorin protectively and he has tears rolling down his face onto his lover. “You are so brave" he says as his tears continue to fall. He is shaking all over with anger and suddenly understands his gentleman's anger at McTavish. He longs to punch something in rage at the unfair actions that were taken against the one he loves and his breathing has got heavy. "Your father is lucky he is no longer here " he states shaking .

Thorin feels like he has been slapped and he brings his hands to cup his face and begins to sob in great heaves. “I am not brave!” he growls, to himself more than anything. “I am a coward!” His whole body is shuddering now as all the memories that he had buried for so long are flooding back to him and he turns away from Kili in his shame.

Kili clutches on to his arm. "You are not a coward " he says strongly and pulls him back towards him with all the force he can muster and pulls him into an embrace. “You are my hero," he whispers thinking of where he would be if it wasn't for him.

“Then for once in my life I have done the right thing,” Thorin answers sadly. “But back then … I was so afraid of my father. So afraid to disappoint him. I have spent every day since trying to make up for my mistake, trying to win back his approval. I exceeded his expectations of me in my career when I joined the bar. I married a fine woman from a good family. I did everything that he expected of me and more, but it was never enough and I don’t think he ever forgave me for what he had witnessed, could ever get that day out of his head. And neither could I.”

"You are not a coward," Kili repeats again. "If I had been brought up with McTavish from birth my life would probably be the same, you are brave and handsome and honest. Your father was a bully," he snaps.

“My father was only doing what he thought was right,” Thorin sighs, understanding the upper class world that he comes from much better than Kili does.

Kili wraps his arms around his lover. "What happened to Viggo?" he asks nervously.

Thorin averts his eyes. “My father whipped him.” The breath feels thick as butter inside his throat. “I should have stood up for him,” he says softly, feeling the tears run down his cheeks. “If I had taken the blame on myself then perhaps he would not have suffered the way he did. But I was a coward,” he confirms again. “I wanted my father to love me again, not to see that disappointment and disgust at me in his face.” He cannot stop the sobs. “So I betrayed him,” he heaves. “I told my father that he had seduced me, that it was his fault. And he made me watch as he whipped the skin of his back before he sent him off to a workhouse." As the shame and the hurt at what he had done - even though he had been just a child - come flooding back to him, he feels a sickness coil up from deep inside his stomach. “Excuse me,” he mutters as he briskly pushes Kili from his embrace and flees the bedroom, heaving above the white porcelain, although he has already emptied his stomach contents once tonight and can only dry retch now. He turns on the tap and holds his hands under it, splashing his face with the ice cold water. He had not thought of that day for so long, had managed to almost wipe it from his memory. But when Kili had touched him, brought him almost to his peak, it had been the most unexpected memory that had brought it back to the forefront of his mind. As he stands naked, barefoot, on the kitchen tiles he is unsure whether he is shaking from the cold or anxiety as he thinks Kili may never forgive him as he has never forgiven himself. Slowly he turns the tap back off and stumbles into the lounge, pouring himself a double brandy which he downs almost in one.

Kili sits in silence, rooted to the spot. It wasn't the dishonesty that got him the most; he can imagine how scared his love must have been and knew after he had been beaten he would have said anything in fear of receiving another beating. He feels hatred towards Thorin’s father who sounded so much like his dad it was uncanny. He thinks of Viggo and where is now and a stab of pain for him rushes through his body.

He lies down on his front so many thoughts and emotions floating around his head and puts his face in the pillow wishing for his mind to empty.

When Thorin returns to the bedroom, his legs feel like lead and the rest of his body like ice. He hovers in the doorway for a moment, feeling such sadness flow through him as he takes in Kili’s small, injured frame. Slowly he walks up to the bed and sinks down on the edge. “You hate me,” he whispers sadly into the semi-darkness, thinking Kili already to be asleep.

Kili lifts his head up from the pillow. “I could never hate you" he replies turning around, looking at his lover’s face. He can see the pain and guilt below the surface and grabs his hand and pulling him further on the bed. "You don't get rid of me that easily. I love you," he whispers cupping his face." You were young and scared. You are a good person, Thorin, you cannot blame yourself for your father's cruelty" he smiles and places a soft kiss to temple. “Now have you got any absinthe? " he asks suddenly in need of a drink.

“Absinthe?” Thorin looks at his lover in surprise. “Why, I think I do.” He wraps his arms carefully around his sweetheart. “I love you so much, Kili,” he whispers against his lips. “And I am sorry I ruined the moment. I did really enjoy it.” He places a long soft kiss on Kili’s lips. He holds out his hand. “Shall we sit in the lounge for a while?”

Kili smiles. “Yes I'd like that " and allows his lover to lead him into the now warm lounge and onto the sofa in front of the fire.

Thorin looks at his sweetheart cuddled up on the sofa in the soft glow of the fire and thinks how amazingly handsome he is and how lucky he is. He cannot stop the silly grin that lies across his face each time he looks at the young man, despite his confusion over his mixed feelings. “I don’t have any ice water,” he states as he pulls out the bottle of green liquor.

Kili gets up. " That's okay, I'll just get some sugar" and he walks to the kitchen gasping at the cold floor as his bare feet touches and rummages around the cupboard until he finds it and pours out a generous amount in a bowl and returns to.his former position " Do you want one?" he asks as he begins to make the drink just as he had seen Bilbo do.         

Thorin stares at Kili in wonder. “Where did you learn to prepare absinthe?” he asks, but as soon as he has said it he already knows the answer. “Nevermind,” he quickly adds, “and yes please.” As Kili prepares the drinks he walks back into the bedroom to wrap his chamber coat around him and then into the hallway where he picks up the abandoned shopping bags. “These are the clothes I bought you.” he smiles at Kili as he accepts his drink. “I hope you like them.”

Kili rummages through the bags excitedly; he knows he must look like a child when they unwrap a present, but finds he doesn't care. “You spoil me " he says as he pulls out the long gloves. He feels a rush of love and affection for his gentleman and moves over to him winding his arm around his waist. “Thank you " he says kissing his cheek.

“You are very welcome, my handsome lover,” Thorin smiles proudly. “Tomorrow before we leave for Erebor Hall we bathe and then you can wear your new clothes.” He laughs at the frown on Kili’s face. “Don’t worry, I will help fill up the tub this time,” he winks and runs his fingers through Kili’s hair. “And we will have to figure out what to do with your bandages.”

Kili sips from his drink. “I may need you to actually help wash me,” he admits feeling himself flush red with embarrassment. "I can't really bend all that well" he says pouring himself another drink.  

“I may be more than happy to help you with that,” Thorin smiles cheekily at him, eyeing his lover’s naked body.

Kili laughs at his cheekiness. "Well I might have to return the favour " Kili jokes as he notices his lover eyeing his body. " What are the sleeping arrangements back in Erebor Hall?" he asks seriously. Suddenly the thought of sleeping on his own after everything scares him a little.

“You will have your own chambers,” Thorin says as he takes a sip from his drink and sits down. “Close to mine. Do you understand what you duties as my valet will entail?” They had not really spoken about the detail, he realises suddenly, and time to educate Kili into the proper decorum before he has to meet Thorin’s family, is running short.

Kili shakes his head. “No idea, sorry," he apologises realising he needs to get it spot on so he doesn't cause suspicion to fall on him and his lover.

“Come sit with me,” Thorin pats the space next to him. “And I will explain. Don’t worry about anything, okay. If you are unsure just ask me. You will do just fine.”

Kili walks over to the coat hanger and grabs the coat Thorin had let him borrow and sits next to the older man and grabs his hand.

“Your duties are quite simple really,” Thorin smiles reassuringly at the youngster. “You are to serve me as my personal attendant. Very much the things you have been doing here for me and less in fact. Things like preparing the fire in my room, preparing my bath. Cleaning and cooking will be done by other staff.” He suddenly realises he had not told Kili about the instructions he had left Balin before they had left the estate the last time. “There will be a lot more servants at Erebor when we return,” he warns the youngster. “Some permanent, but I have also asked Balin to employ additional staff just for the Christmas period.”

Kili smiles. "So I only have to follow your orders?" he says excitedly, liking the idea of his new role.

“Pretty much. You may help me get dressed, lay out my clothes and ensure they are laundered and brushed down. You will polish my shoes and pack and unpack my case. You will take care of any important errands. As I said, much like you have done for me before. But you will hold one of the highest positions in my household. And one of great trust.” He smiles as Kili and places a kiss on his hand. “The best one I can offer.”

Kili smiles back. “Thank you," he says, then his face drops. “You said I won't need to cook. But I like cooking for you!” he mutters, not wanting to sound ungrateful, but can't help feeling a little disappointed.

“I know you do and I like you cooking for me too,” Thorin laughs. “You are the best cook I have ever had. But it would not be proper.” He looks at the disappointed face of the youngster. “I tell you what, as my valet proper you represent my needs. Although you may not be cooking yourself, I can instruct the kitchen staff that you will have a say in what they are to serve? Is that a compromise? And when we are back in London you can spoil me with your kitchen wizardry to your heart’s content.”

Kili gives him a little smile. “Okay," he agrees still a little disappointed. “So tell me about your family please, Thorin. What are they like?" he asks curiously.

“Well, my brother Frerin is a year younger than me. He and his family live in Manchester where he works as a surgeon. Like a specialist doctor. His wife Frances is lovely, I am sure you will like her a lot,” he smiles kindly at Kili. “Their son, Philip, is the same age as you as I have mentioned before. I don’t see them very often as they live so far away. My brother and I were quite close when we were young. I am sure you will get on fine with all of them.” He is not entirely sure of that. Frerin and Frances probably yes if Kili manages to behave like a proper valet. But his nephew can be a spoilt little brat and although he loves the boy dearly, he wonders how Kili will deal with someone his own age but of higher class. Equally he wonders how Fili will take not having his uncle’s undivided attention this Christmas. He decides not to pre-empt trouble where there is none and hope for the best.

Kili nods. He can feel that he has paled. He wants to make a good impression, but whenever he tries he always seems to make silly mistakes. "I'm going to miss being like this with you," he admits as he feels Thorin’s arms wrap around him.

“Me too,” Thorin concurs and he brushes his thumb over Kili’s nose. “It will make you appreciate me more when we are back,” he teases him, planting a kiss on his lips.

“Can we not even kiss when it’s just the two of us?" Kili asks, leaning his head on his lover’s shoulder. “I’ll be really careful" he promises looking into Thorin’s twinkling blue eyes.

Thorin considers this for a moment. He knows the right answer is ‘ _no’_. They should not take any risks with so many people, including his own family, about. They should just keep their hands to themselves and wait until they are back here in London. But equally, feeling the warmth of Kili’s body presses up against him, he knows that is going to be an almost impossible resolution. “Maybe,” he says carefully. “But we will have to be extremely careful,” he stresses. “This isn’t a game. And you must remember to call me Mr Oakenshield and _sir_ when we are back home.”

Kili leans forward and kisses his lover on the lips. “Yes, sir," he jests. "I'll be on my best behaviour" he smiles.

“As I expect you to be,” Thorin says seriously. Then he smiles. “Now tell me, is there anything left in this house that you could possibly turn into something edible because I am starving.”

After several minutes of rummaging around the kitchen Kili appears back in the living room. "Okay, we have mushroom soup, cheese sandwiches and orange custard," he smiles putting the little mini feast on the table.

Thorin laughs heartily at Kili’s skill and he grabs him by the hips, dragging him close, careful to avoid his injured back. “I think I am keeping you,” he laughs and presses a kiss onto his stomach.

Kili giggles madly at the touch to his belly waving his arms in the air. "Nahhh, stop!" he laughs.

Thorin grins at him and continues to nibble at Kili’s sensitive body. “I like it when you wriggle for me like that,” he says playfully and drags Kili onto his lap. “I like this,” he smiles pressing their lips together, tasting the green liquor on Kili’s lips. “You make me happy.”

Kili smiles at his lover. "And you me. Do we really have to go back to Erebor? We could just stay here …" he says but already knows the answer.

Thorin knits his brow together. “I thought you would like to go back to Erebor. See Jayne and Balin. And you perhaps visit your mother’s grave?”

“Stuff Balin and Jayne," Kili  jokes. "I want to keep you all to myself," he smiles. "But I can't be selfish I suppose," he says, pulling a sad face.

“You will enjoy yourself,” Thorin promises him. “You said you never had a proper Christmas before. I will make sure this will be one you will never forget again, little angel.” He strokes through Kili’s hair and beams at him. “Although you are not making it easy for me to accept that we cannot do this for a while.”

“How long will be there?" Kili asks, hoping it will not be long; he does not think he can last long without the closeness with Thorin. “Oh, also what would you like for Christmas?" he asks.

We will be back in London on New Year’s Day.” Thorin takes a bit of the sandwich Kili had made them, considering the second question. “As for what I would like for Christmas is to see a big smile on your gorgeous face.”

Kili can feel himself  blush and buries his hot face into his older lover’s chest. “That’s sweet, but really what can I get you? You have done so much for me," he says into his chest.

“I mean it, my love,” Thorin melts under the tender embrace. “I have no material wishes. I have everything I need and more money than I know what to do with in a lifetime. But you give me what I cannot buy with sterling. All I want is for you to spend this Christmas at my side. I know it will not be as we would like it to be. But as long as you are safe and happy and with me, then I will be the happiest man alive.”

Kili gives him a huge toothy grin. "Same for me as long. As we’re together, I am happy," he states, wrapping the coat tighter around himself, feeling a chill and starting to shiver.  

Thorin stifles a yawn. “I think it is bedtime for us,” he smiles at Kili. “We have a long journey and a busy few days ahead of us.” He helps Kili to his feet and puts away the bottle of absinthe, whilst Kili tidies away the plates and glasses. He asks Kili just to stoke the fire in the bedroom to keep them warm throughout the night as he pulls on his bedgown and next helps Kili in the one he had bought him. When they crawl under the sheets Kili quickly snuggles up in his arms and he wraps himself protectively around the youngster, lavishing the warmth of his body against his. “I love you, my little angel,” he whispers, placing a kiss on his hair. “Thank you for listening earlier. Sleep well.”

"Love you too. You’re the best thing that’s happened to me," he says and gives a huge yawn and closes his eyes and falls asleep letting pleasant dreams come.


	28. Clearing the Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 26 chapters of withholding their love, there is no stopping them now!
> 
> Thorin written by LadyLuna  
> Kili written by witchesdelite

The first thing he notices, before he has even opened his eyes, is the warmth of another body pressed against his. _Kili,_ it goes through his head and he wraps the young man even tighter in his arms, the movement causing his lover to stir.

Kili flicks open his eyes. Initially he feels a little confused, then his heart jumps with joy when he realises he is wrapped into his love’s arm. " Good morning" he whispers looking up at his beautiful man’s defining features.

“Good morning,” Thorin beams at the young man, pressing a kiss on his forehead. “How did you sleep?”

“Really well thank you, "  he beams pulling the blankets up more over them both and closing his eyes again, snuggling his head into Thorin’s chest."

“Hey!” Thorin laughs. “It is time to get up, don’t go back to sleep again!” When Kili pretends not to have heard him, he remembers a little trick from the previous night and starts to gently tickle his tummy, trying not to make him jerk too much for fear of hurting his back.

"Na ahhhh Thorin!" Kili giggles, rolling around on the bed  trying to slither away from him, still clutching the covers. "That's not fair!" he screams in a fit of shrieking laughter.

“I never promised fair,” Thorin chuckles as he continues his assault. A shiver of excitement runs through him as his gown shifts and he feels Kili’s skin rub against his thighs. He feels his face flush and looks at Kili, biting his lip, thinking about where they had left off last night.

Kili sees the flush on his lover’s face and grins. "Do you want to play?" he purrs, running his fingers down his arm.

Thorin’s breath hitches and he feels himself stir against Kili’s gown. “I do if you do,” he says quickly, breathlessly. And he smiles shyly, “I promise I won’t freeze on you again.” He tentatively runs his hand up Kili’s leg, pushing up his gown, testing what Kili will and will not let him do.

Kili gasps as the cool air hits against his privates but then he freezes. "Um, love I'm not ready to do ... to do it yet " he stutters, feeling like an immature child as he panics. "S …sorry" he apologises, turning his face away, embarrassed.

Thorin pulls back his hand. “Sorry, I did not … I meant not …” _Goodness Thorin!_ he scolds himself silently. _You are the older, more experienced one here. You are supposed to teach Kili that this can be nice._ He slowly moves his hand back to stroke Kili’s leg. “It is okay. We will not do anything you don’t want to do,” he says, more composed this time. “Does this feel nice though? I want to make you feel nice. And you are so soft…” he sighs as his fingers continue to trace Kili’s skin.

It felt amazing. He has never felt anything as good as when Thorin touches him; he seems to know exactly the right things to send excited sparks all over his body. "Yes, so good,” he moans.

“Good,” Thorin smiles and bends himself down to place soft kisses on his thigh, breathing in his heated scent. “If there is anything you don’t like then just say stop,” he whispers, moving his kisses up as he pulls up Kili’s gown further, baring him before him. “You are gorgeous,” he groans through his kisses. “So sexy.”

Kili smiles. "You are beautiful" he moans as the tall man runs his hands along his exposed flesh.

Thorin looks up through his eyelashes, drinking in the beautiful sight of desire in Kili’s face. Very slowly, as if he is trying to win the trust of a beaten stray dog, he moves himself between Kili’s legs. “I won’t,” he reassures Kili immediately as he can feel the youngster tense straight away. He sits back on his haunches and pulls his gown over his head, his hardness lying heavy on the top of his thighs now. “Relax,” he whispers to his love as he bends himself down and presses a gentle kiss on Kili’s sack.

Kili tries to keep his body relaxed as his gentleman gently caresses him. “I trust you. I know you would never hurt me" he says, smiling. Affection for the man rushes through his veins as he tries to keep his body still.

“I would not,” Thorin stresses as he slowly moves his upper body forward and places both hands on either side of his young beloved. “I love you more than I can tell you,” he whispers huskily as he slowly pushes his pelvis down against Kili’s until his erection touches his love’s hardness.

Kili lets out a surprised yelp as they touch a rush of excitement bubbles away. "That's good,” he groans as his lover repeats his actions. And he thrusts against Thorin, panting.

“I am glad you enjoy that,” Thorin smiles heatedly as he slowly drags his hips back and forth to seek friction. “I do too.” The feeling of rubbing himself against Kili is pure bliss after having denied himself these lusts for his servant for so long. And after last night’s debacle his balls feel ready to bursting. “Have you frotted before?” he groans against Kili’s neck as he bucks his hips down against him.

The brunet shakes his head. “What’s that?" he moans and moves, turning his attention to his love’s neck nibbling soft little marks into his skin.

“This,” Thorin smiles, grateful that not all of Kili’s innocence had been ripped from him through his ordeal and that these are still things they can explore together. “Rubbing against each other like this.” He twists his hips a little to put more pressure onto Kili’s cock, ensuring as much as possible to keep the movement contained to their lower bodies to avoid too much friction on his injured upper back. “Until we spend.”

The teen lets out a load groan at the increased  pressure as Thorin rubs their pricks together. “I’m not going to last long," he groans as he can feel his climax approaching rapidly and begins to let out little cries of pleasure.

Kili’s wanton cries are deliciously stimulating. “Nghh Kili,” Thorin pants, his breath coming in short hitches now as he speeds up his grinding movements, finding the right friction to take him to his peak. “Look at me,” he groans at his young lover, wanting to see his lust reflected in Kili’s gorgeous brown eyes.

Kili looks into his dark widened eyes full of want and desire and can feel his release escape from his body and he comes heavy over himself and his lover.

“Oaaah,” the deep moan escapes Thorin’s lips as he watches his beloved come undone under him, his hot juices painting his belly in pearly stripes. It is all it takes to send him over the edge and he throws back his head as he shouts out his pleasure in a long wail as his seed mixes with that of Kili between them.

Kili pants against the pillow. "That was... amazing," he utters as he tries to regain his breath and his heart rate slows, trying to return to normal. "You’re amazing," he smiles.

Thorin collapses down onto his sweetheart, showering him kisses. “That was so good,” he agrees. “Thank you,” he tries and fails to get his breath back under control as he feels the sticky mess smear the both of them as he presses against Kili. “I think we definitely need a bath now. And to wash your bandages,” he flushes.

Kili laughs. "Yes, we’re both sticky." Then he flinches. "Will it hurt taking off the bandages?” Then suddenly a worrying thoughts enter his mind. "What are we going to tell people at home about my back?” he asks and begins to bite his nails as he dreads people’s reaction to his scars and wounds. "They’re going to think I am a disobedient servant," he utters.

“Why, you do know how to ruin the mood just as well as I do,” Thorin chuckles. “You must not worry so much, little angel. Why would anyone need to see your back? It is the middle of winter. Unless you are planning on skinny dipping in the lake in December, no-one needs to see even an inch of your back. No-one but me,” he adds possessively, pressing a firm kiss on Kili’s shoulder.

Kili can see his beloved is right and gives a little laugh. "Yes, you're right no one needs to see my back,” and starts to feel happier. "What would I do without you," he says softly and places a kiss to his cheek.  

Thorin flinches at that. _If it wasn’t for me, you would not be in this mess in the first place_ , the thinks. “Thank for you having fun with me,” he says instead, forcing himself to focus on the positive as he rolls off Kili and traces a finger through the remnants of their indecency on Kili’s stomach. “You look even more beautiful all marked by me,” he states, ginning. And then sighs as he drags himself upright, and out of bed knowing they still have a lot to do and they cannot miss their train.

Kili smiles " I like you marking me " he admits. " I am yours and yours alone," he states reaching for his lover and trying to bring him back on the bed. "Can't we just say here a little longer?" he says as he pulls his arm but knows he will not win as his lover is stronger.

“No,” Thorin says sternly, but there is a hint of amusement in his tone. “You tricked me once, I am not letting you prey on my weakness again,” he chuckles and scoops the teenager in his strong arms and carries him as easily as a child off the bed. “Ugh, you really smell,” he teases the youngster and ignoring his wriggling and pounding his fists against his shoulders to get free carries him over to the bathtub. “In with you,” he smiles, lowering him into the tub.

“That is not fair! First you tickle me then drag me out of bed! I'm a poor injured man!!" he moans, but gives him a little smile which Thorin returns. There was something about his smile that made him feel loved and cherished more  than anything or anyone one else. "And you don't smell like a bed of roses either," he jests happily.  "Now get me some water, " he orders with a playful glint in his eye.

“All right, sir,” Thorin grins at is lover, happy to play along, knowing soon the roles will be reversed for real again. He bends down and kisses his nose before he turns to fill up the bucket and warm it on the stove. When he returns he finds Kili smiling brightly at him. “At which point did I lose all control as your master?” he smirks as he puts down the bucket next to the tub and helps Kili to his feet.

Kili laughs. "Probably around the same time I realised I had these feelings for you, which was the night I listening in on you and your friend in your bedroom and wished he was me," he says without thinking then realises what he has said and puts his hand over his mouth and looks at his lover a little worried and unsure how he will take this piece of news.

Thorin had started to pull loose Kili’s soiled bandages, but freezes as he realises what Kili has just said. He stares at the youngster open mouthed and is momentarily lost for your words. “When was that?!” he stutters and then realises it can only have been one time, the only time Thranduil had been here when Kili had been also. “You spied on me?!”

Kili can feel his face drain of colour. His playful mood going instantly and hangs his head. " I'm sorry. I overheard and couldn't peel myself away," he admits looking at his feet.

Thorin cocks his head at the young man, trying his very best to keep his mask in place. He thinks back to that night although he can barely remember it - like he can barely remember most nights where he indulges himself in such pleasures. But slowly a faint memory returns from deep in his sub consciousness. How Thranduil had heard Kili at the door. How they had both listened out for the soft groans coming from the hallway and how those had aroused him greatly. And how he too had closed his eyes the moment he had spent himself inside his American lover, imagining for a fleeting second that it was Kili underneath him. “You dirty little thing,” he smirks, pushing Kili’s chin up and forcing him to look at him. “You were fetching mettle over listening to me having sex?” he blurts out in an uncharacteristic moment of frankness.  

Kili nods. "Are you angry? "he asks his heart in his throat, as fear of messing things up ebbs away at him. He thinks he can see a glint in Thorin’s eye but is too unsure to relax yet.

“I probably should be,” he says, but then smirks. “But after what we have just done I am hardly in a position to lecture you on etiquette and manners now am I?” He looks at Kili, a cheeky glint in his eyes. “And I would be lying  if I said I don’t find the idea of you touching yourself, imagining it was us together, _very_ exciting,” he says wantonly.

The brunet lets out a loud long relieved sigh. “You had me worried there," he admits.

“However, I think there is another matter that occurred around that same time,” Thorin adds, grabbing Kili by the shoulders and suddenly looking at him sternly, “that I believe warrants my disapproval more.” He watches Kili’s reaction, giving him the opportunity to own up.

Kili looks at Thorin a little confused. " I'm not sure what you mean," he says puzzled looking into his lovers disapproving eyes. " What did I do?" he asks a little fearful, trying to think back but coming up blank.

“Kili, seriously,” Thorin crosses his arms. “I am a barrister! Don’t play innocent with me. You know full well what I mean. You tried to take something that didn’t belong to you.”

At these words it dawns on Kili instantly what he is referring to and he looks away from his lover and at the floor. "He said that he wouldn't tell you " he mumbles quietly, a mixture of annoyance at the blond man for breaking his word and shame at disappointing his lover flooding through his body.

Thorin sighs deeply and proceeds to unwrap Kili’s bandages as he talks. “He was not going to at first. But I am glad he did. Don’t you think I have a right to know that my own servant is stealing off my guests?”

Kili continues to look anywhere but in the direction of his gentleman. " I didn't know it was him. I didn't go out and plan to steal it just happened" he replies, instantly wishing he had just kept his response short.

“It should not matter whether you knew it was him or whether you intended to do it or not,” Thorin says firmly. “You should not steal, I thought I taught you that lesson back in Erebor alright,” he reminds Kili of the caning he had given him then. Then he sighs. “However, as you have already suffered a punishment far beyond what I would deem appropriate for your crime, I will spare you on this occasion. And I hope that our chat about what fate awaits thieves still resonates with you, silly boy.” He forces Kili to look at him. “It will not happen again, right?”

Kili nods. "Yes, I understand " he replies. "And I am sorry, I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just sort of did," he says truthfully, hating the disappointment in his lover’s eyes. "Truly, I am sorry, I can see I have upset you and I hate myself for it" he adds trying to look away.

“I don’t want you to hate yourself,” Thorin shakes his head. “I want you to learn from your mistakes and not do it again. Kili, I care too much about you for anything to happen to you,” he tries a different approach. Then Kili winces as one of the bandages pulls at the wounds before coming undone. “I am sorry, love,” Thorin says soothingly, his attention brought back to the present and the matter of the theft forgotten.

“How is it looking?” Kili asks and then remembers the doctors words. If it didn't heal he would need leeches and shudders at the thought.

"I am no doctor,” Thorin examines the wounds, "but they do look better, I think. They're still red and the deeper one on your left shoulder is still bleeding. But they don't look so inflamed and infected anymore." He looks Kili in the eyes. "I could ask my brother to have a look at them..."

Kili shakes his head forcefully " I don't want anyone to know what has happened" he says thinking of how people will look at him with disgust. "I’m sure they are healing, I can hardly feel them" he lies, hoping his lover will forget the idea of showing his brother. 

Thorin frowns, knowing that Kili is putting on a brave face. “We will have to see how it goes. But if I have any concerns I will get Frerin to assess you. He is an expert in what he does, Kili. And he does not need to know the details.” He hands him a bar of soap and a flannel and then pours the bucket of water in the tub. “I will put these on the boil,” he holds up the bandages; he had spent long enough listening to his brother reciting his course work to know the basics of sterilisation. “And then I will bring you some more water.” He purses his lips to beg a kiss from his lover.

Kili leans forward and grants his lover his wish, placing a kiss on his lips and running his hand through his hair, wanting this morning to never end and wishing they could be like this forever. But he knows in a few hours he will be a mere employee again and cannot help feeling a sad pang.

The rest of the morning flies by. After Kili has finished bathing, Thorin quickly bathes himself and then Kili stokes up the fire so that they can dry the bandages. Thorin gathers everything they need to take with them, which he promptly orders Kili to attempt to fit in the suitcases he has pulled out of the wardrobe, whilst he gets dressed. Kili pants after squeezing the last item of clothing into the suitcase. "So much for traveling light,” he mumbles as Thorin returns from the direction of his study with a cane tucked under his arm and a hat in the other, if possible looking even more dressed up than usual. “you look smart" he comments.  

Thorin throws him a composed smile. “A gentleman never travels light,” he says. “And thank you. Now we had best attempt the same with you,” he nods towards Kili still wrapped in his own dressing gown as they had waited for the bandages to dry. He lays the hat, gloves and cane on the bed and beckons Kili closer as he holds up the bag with the clothes he had picked out for Kili. “I hope these fit,” he looks Kili up and down as he begins to pull out the items of clothing, handing him the fresh cottons and laying the black socks, a white linen shirt and finally the dark grey sacqui suit on the bed.

Kili eyes the clothes curiously and then looks at Thorin, smiling. “Thank you," he says smoothing out his new clothes happily.

Thorin inspects Kili’s back again, feeling the pain that Kili must have felt from each of those lashes. He opens the bottle of brandy he had brought with him. “This is going to sting,” he warns and promptly pours some of the strong alcohol down Kili’s back, causing the youngster to cry out. Thorin dabs his back dry carefully and then slowly rolls out the laundered bandages and carefully starts to wrap them around Kili’s thin frame. “I am sorry,” he says quietly each time Kili winces. When he has finally managed to bandage Kili back up again he pulls him close for just a moment, wishing that his embrace could take away all the pain. “Are you alright?” he checks with Kili.

Kili can see the concern in his face and does not have the heart to tell him how badly he wants to scream when he moves and catches his back " I'm fine lover, don't worry about me" he says softly cupping his bearded face.

“Of course I worry about you,” Thorin puts his large hand over Kili’s and turns his head to press a kiss on his palm, then turns back to the suit and starts to help Kili into his clothes. Once he has managed to hoist Kili into the various items he takes a step back and admires his work. “You look perfect.”

Kili beams at his gentleman. "Not quite," he says and laughs at Thorin’s frown. He walks over to the little table by the bed and pulls out the elegant pocket watch he had gifted him and attaches it to his pocket. "Now I look perfect," he says, planting a kiss on his lover’s cheek.

Thorin is about to say that servants may not display any items of jewellery, but then bites his tongue. Curse the rules, it's not like they're exactly playing by them anyway. "Gorgeous," he smiles. He picks up the hard box from the dresser and takes out the derby hat, placing it on Kili's head and can't but laugh at Kili looking so posh and proper and so unlike himself.

Kili grins back. “I get a hat too!" he says excitedly and carefully tilts it so it is straight, walking over to a large mirror and checking his reflection. “I don't even look like me,” he says shocked, thinking how much older he looks. 

"Ready to go then?" Thorin smiles at his lover, pulling on his gloves and handing Kili his.

Kili reluctantly accepts the gloves, knowing the second they are out the door they are no longer equals, but master and servant. "As ready as I'll ever be," he sighs. It is not that he does not want to go home, it is that he is worried that Thorin would realise that he was not worth the effort.

"You look sexy,” Thorin purrs in Kili's ear as they gather their things. Then he looks at the large cases. "You won't be able to manage with those on your own," he concludes, wondering how to get around this particular conundrum. It's not that he's incapable or too arrogant to carry his own suitcase. But it is the duty of a valet to take care of such matters for his master and if they are to keep up the pretence of that relationship then they must oblige by those rules. "Can you walk down to the gatehouse and get one of the errand boys to help out," he asks Kili and he hands him his purse. "From now on you are in charge of the all payments," he looks at his lover, assessing whether that is a wise move, but deciding that he needs to trust Kili as much as his partner as well as his right hand man. "You pay the driver, you buy the train tickets and anything else we need for the journey. Are you able to do that?"

Kili looks at the wallet in awe and then tucks it safely in his pocket in the blazer lining. "Yes sir" he replies with a feeling of pride to be entrusted with this. "I'll go to the gatehouse now," he adds grabbing his coat off the hook and fumbling with the buttons. He reaches for the handle then changes his mind, turning around to face his lover. “I love you so much," he says and reaches his hand out and cups Thorin’s face brushing his lips against his love’s.

Thorin sinks against the wall as soon as the door has fallen shut behind Kili. _What have I done?_ it goes through his head. This whole situation is such a mess, things are going to be so difficult for the both of them. But as the kiss still burns on his lips he knows he is already head over heels in love with Kili and it is far too late to go back on what he's started.


	29. Transition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Balin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin written by LadyLuna

Victoria station is heaving with people rushing home or visiting relatives and friends over the Christmas period. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits with children running around playing games on the platform weaving between people’s legs. Their mothers or nannies apologising to people they have knocked into. And gentlemen with wrapped gifts under their arms checking their watches.

Kili and Thorin are sat in a first class cabin waiting for passengers to finish boarding. After the chill outside it is nice to be sat in the warm private cabin and Kili starts to take his outerwear off. "Is there anything you need, Mr Oakenshield?" he asks, placing his coat in the space beside him.

Thorin jolts at the sudden return to formality. "Sweetheart, when we're alone you don't need to call me that," he smiles. "And I'm fine for now, thank you. When they come round with drinks you can buy us something nice." He watches Kili pace between the door and the window. "Are you alright?"

Kili looks at his gentleman and gives a nervous smile. “Fine, just a little restless. Once the train starts I will be okay," he says, fidgeting with his blazer sleeve and looking out at the busy platform below.

Thorin chuckles. "I used to be just like you. Could never just sit still," he laughs. "It's a good trait. It gets you places. So what time is it then, Kili?" he asks and soon they are sat bent over Kili's new watch as Thorin patiently explains to him about half hours and quarter hours and minutes and seconds until the youngsters head is spinning with such all the new information.

“I’m never going to get this," Kili moans, frustrated after a third wrong attempt and slouches back in the seat feeling stupid. " Most people learn this when they are a child. I saw children of no more six telling the time on their own trench watches" he utters. The hour wasn't  a problem it was the minutes that he found confusing.

“Nonsense,” Thorin shakes his head. “It took me months to learn to tell the time and you have been trying for less than half an hour and you already know more than I did after a week. You are not going to give in already are you?”

Kili shakes his head " No, just getting frustrated that’s all" he says looking at the clock again and screwing up his eyes. "Thirteen minutes … to twelve?" he asks looking up at his love for confirmation whether he is correct or not.

Thorin beams and momentarily forgets himself as he presses a kiss on Kili’s cheek. “You are remarkable, my clever one.” He quickly pulls himself together as he remembers where they are. “See what you can do with a little determination. And after Christmas we will start your writing lessons in earnest,” he picks up his excitement as he thinks about teaching Kili more. “My valet should be able to read and write.”

Kili practically jumps with excitement. " I'd like that. You're a good teacher. If you ever decide to give up law I think you have found your new career," he says happily.

Thorin laughs heartily at that. “I would not have the patience! Teaching an entire classroom full of little brats like yourself?” he teases his young lover.

Kili laughs " I'm not a brat, I’m a gentleman" he replies mock-insulted. He looks down at his new suit. " Would I pass as one if you didn't know better?' he wonders out loud.

Thorin eyes his sweetheart with pride. “Why, I think you could.” He can feel the electric pulses between them as they look in each other’s eyes and swallows thickly.

Kili longs to reach out for his love and kiss his lips, but knows he cannot and lets out a disappointed sigh. " This is going to be a hard week and a half. It’s the first day and I already feels like I'm going mad" he confesses.            

 

“Mad?” Thorin cocks his head, then realises what Kili is implying. He chooses his words carefully as he says with a slight blush in his cheeks, “There may be some opportunities still to care for your master on a more personal level.”

The brunet feels his face turn into a huge grin. " I have to make sure ALL my masters needs are taken care of on all levels" he purrs, feeling himself stir. “Oh, not now,” he utters in embarrassment.

“Not now?” Thorin raises an eyebrow at the young man, seeing Kili’s blush intensify. His eyes drift down Kili’s thin frame as he can see the boy shuffle on his seat and he smirks at him as he attempts to keep his modesty. _Ah the eagerness of youth_ , he thinks, smiling. “I enjoyed this morning,” he whispers hotly in Kili’s ear.

Kili shifts uncomfortably as his whole body seems to react to Thorin’s words and his cock hardens and he buries his hands in his face. "You’re a tease" he groans as he grabs his coat to cover his lap.

Thorin chuckles at the blushing teenager. “You are cute when you blush,” he teases him a bit more, gently caressing the back of his hand over Kili’s baby stubble. “Oh the things I want to do to you,” he whispers under his breath, winking at the brunet.

Kili’s breathing begins to hitch. "Thorin I'm going to have to go into the bathroom and take care of myself in a minute if you keep going on like that,'' he mumbles as his erection pulses against his trousers. "Oh lord" he utters shifting his position.

Despite being a lot more in control of his bodily functions than the teenager, at that even Thorin can feel himself harden. “Now that would be a shameful waste,” he utters thickly, his voice dropped low as his desire grows. “You are right, these are going to be a tough few days,” he rubs his hand over his beard. Just then he hears the bell of the trolley in the distance. “I will stop teasing,” he swallows hard. “So you can sort yourself out before food is here,” he nods towards the door.

"Thank you " Kili says and tries to take control of his breathing. As he tries to calm down he sends a glare at the older man. “You’re just wicked" he jokes and quickly moves to the bench opposite as the door opens and shifts so his lower body is out of eyesight  

“Goodday, sirs,” the trolley boy smiles brightly at the two men. “And a good Christmas to you. Any hot drinks on a cold day? Any sweets or treats for the journey?”

Kili turns to Thorin. "Would you like anything, sir?" He asks putting his polite front back up.

“A cup of tea,” Thorin replies curtly. “And perhaps some mince pies.” He picks up the paper Kili had bought at the station on his instruction and begins to read the front page news.

" Two pots of tea please and two servings of mince pies," Kili orders, smiling at the young boy as he happily takes the required items off the trolley and hands them to him. “How much does that come to please" he asks politely.

"One shilling four pence please sir" the boy replies smiling as he is given a note and counts out the change from his tin " Merry Christmas, sirs" he says leaving the carriage.

“It is polite to tip,” Thorin smiles up at Kili once the trolley boy has moved on. “When someone gives a good service and is polite you can give them a few pence extra to put in their own pocket. As a thank you.”

"Oh okay " Kili replies, a little embarrassed and hurries after the boy handing him a few extra coins and wishing him a merry Christmas before returning to the carriage. " How did I not know that ?" he asks and pours a cup of tea for Thorin.

"Why would you?" Thorin accepts the drink with a smile. "I'm happy you are not throwing my money away, don't beat yourself up over everything, my angel." He picks up one of the mince pies and bites into the spiced seasonal treat.

" I have watched you over the last month and should have picked up on it" he scolds himself tucking into his own pastry. " Remind me I have to bake you mince pies at some point. These are nice, but mine are better" he states with a smile.

"Oh I will,” Thorin says, his mouth already watering at the thought of one if Kili's mince pies. "And as for tipping, the idea is to do it surreptitiously. Not to flaunt it. So the fact that you had not picked up on it means I have been sufficiently discreet." He laughs at Kili's frown. "I know, so many silly little rules and decorum right?"

“Yes, I have a lot to learn" he admits looking out the window at the white blanket over the fields. ”I used to love snow when I was younger. Ma would constantly be shouting at me because I hit Mr Balin with snowballs," he laughs getting caught memories.

"Not just Mr Balin if I recall correctly," Thorin crosses his arms frowning at his beloved.

Kili snorts as he remembers chucking a snowball at his face. " I was nine and went and ran away the second I saw it had hit you," he recalls fondly. "Ma found me in Jayne’s stable, dragged me home by the ear. She gave me such a hiding" he laughs.

Thorin tries to keep a straight face, but feels his frown break as he can't help but laugh as he recalls the incident. It had completely taken him by surprise when he had been caught in the firing line and he had gone berserk over it at Dis. But looking back now he thinks he had been a jerk and should have seen the funny side of it. "Just be grateful I didn't get my hands on you," he semi jokes. "And you may want to watch your back this year... I never did get my revenge."

“Bring it on, old man" he jests and takes a sip of sweet tea. "Will the house be decorated?" he asks excitedly and thinks back to the previous Christmases and frowns as he realises it is usually bare. “It isn't usually. Why?" he inquires.

Thorin stares out of the window for a long time, not saying anything.

Kili realises he has stumbled across a sensitive subject and regrets his curiosity. _Stupid Kili!_ he thinks, kicking himself. "Sorry, we don't have to talk about it" he says, taking out his watch again and examining the back.

"Arwen, my wife, " Thorin says suddenly, still looking out of the window, "passed away on the 27th of December. Since then Christmas has never felt the same."

Kili wants to wrap his arms around his love he looks around the cabin. _Screw it,_ he thinks and moves to the seat beside and wraps him into a warm embrace. " I'm so sorry" he says and places a  little kiss on his forehead. " I know I was young so I don't remember her but my Ma only ever said nice things about her" he admits holding him close.

"She was a beautiful woman, inside and out," Thorin smiles sadly and leans into the embrace. "And it was a cruel fate to lose her on what should have been the happiest day of my life," he whispers as he can feel a tear run down his cheek.

Kili wipes the tear away with his thumb vowing to make this the best Christmas his lover has ever had and kisses where the tear had been. " I would have liked to have known her" he says, wishing he could take away Thorin’s pain.

Thorin smiles. "You would have liked her," he says. Then suddenly he gets to his feet and pulls down the blind on the door, wanting some privacy. "It's a long time ago now," he says, turning back to Kili. "When it was just me at Erebor I could not see the point in celebrating Christmas when all it reminded me of was what I had lost. It had always been Arwen who oversaw the decorations and the food. “He sits down next to Kili again and takes his hand. ”But if you'd like to decorate Erebor Hall I'd like that too."

Kili smiles at his love and leans in forward and brushes his lips against his lovers. He moves his hand along the back of his neck and slowly strokes just below his hairline. “You know, I love you an awful lot" he whispers breathing in his ear.

"And I love you," Thorin smiles, a shiver running down his spine. "You have returned a sparkle to my heart I thought I'd lost forever." And to Kili's surprise he cups his face and returns the kiss passionately.

Kili can feel himself  almost burst with happiness at Thorin’s loving words and  he stirs with excitement as he trails his hand along his lovers spine. " Goodness, not again," he moans flushing red. "You are too handsome" he utters burying his head into Thorin’s shoulder.

"You flatter," Thorin grins,  but his chest feels like it’s filled with light. "And you are supposed to get aroused," he chuckles. "I would feel rather offended if my lover didn't! " he draws Kili in for another kiss, blessing the privacy of the carriage. "I cannot keep my hands off you," he admits against the young man's lips.

Kili begins to giggle. "Me neither" he says running his hands down the front of Thorin’s shirt and then looks at the door. "Can you lock these?" he asks, turning back to his lover and possessively bites a mark on his neck.

"Why yes, but... “ He flushes a deep red. "No,  Kili we can't..." he stutters as he sees the mischievous glint in the  brunet’s eyes.

Kili pouts at his lover.  "Please" he says running his hand down towards his obvious bulge in his trousers and looks at him with wide eyes. "Please?" he purrs again moving himself into his lovers lap.

"What did you have in mind?" Thorin asks thickly as he shudders under the inappropriate touch, his need growing inside his slacks.

"Well, I like everything you have taught me so far, so why don't you teach me something new" he says rubbing his hand against his gentleman's clothed privates causing him to let out little groans of pleasure.

“Kili …” Thorin pants as his boyfriend rubs him in all the right places. “Door …”

The brunet hurries to the door and quickly bolts it. He returns back to his position on Thorin’s lap and undoes the buttons on his breeches. "You are so beautiful" he utters.

Thorin hesitates, his desire fighting with his sense of reality. This is a very dangerous game indeed. Having sexual relations with another man in his own residence is one thing. But if they are to get caught doing anything publically they can be sure they will never see each other again and will spend the rest of their lives behind bars. Is a quickie really worth that risk? But as Kili’s nimble fingers feel their way inside his trousers, stroking the sensitive skin of his strained erection, he knows that his love for Kili and how much he wants to enjoy him is worth it tenfold. In actual fact the risk factor is only making him harder. They have another twenty minutes before the train will stop at their station. If they are quick no-one will need to have any suspicion. This is as safe as they can be, he decides. “Kili, please get my case down,” he nods his head to one of their suitcases.

Kili stills his hands and reluctantly takes his hand out. He looks questioningly at Thorin, but when he can still see the want in them he reaches up for the suitcase and carefully brings it down, wincing at the strain on his back as he does. Then he sits next to his love, unsure what he wants him to do.

Thorin reaches over, almost falling over himself in his urgency, and unclasps the case, rummaging in it for flannel. When he finds a handkerchief he is content that that will have to do and beckons Kili back onto his lap. “Straddle me,” he orders him.

Kili slowly gets back on his beloved’s lap, looking him in the eyes and lets out a little groan as he wraps his arms around Thorin’s neck to balance himself. Thorin grabs Kili’s legs. “Wrap them around me,” he breathes hard. When Kili has moved himself into the desired position, he pulls at Kili’s button to release him, soon followed by some awkward fumbling to set his own hardness free. “We should not be doing this,” he whisper in a pathetic attempt to stop what he is about to do, which only makes the whole thing more exciting and he takes both their cocks in his large hand, squeezing them together.

The brunet lets out a load moan into his gentlemen's shoulder and then flings his head back. " That is ... that is amazing,” he pants as he grinds himself against his gentleman’s body and bites his lip to attempt to stop his moan. But it seemed to have the opposite effect as excitement sparked over his body.

“Sssh!” Thorin chuckles at his lover’s excitement and he silences him with his tongue down his throat as he begins to pull fast at their combined arousal. Kili feels and tastes perfect in every way, everything about him seems to turn him on and he feels as frisky as the sixteen year old sat on his lap.

Kili starts to explore his love’s mouth much the same as he is doing to him. The sensation on his prick feels incredible as Thorin continues to pull at both their shafts and he increases the speed of his movements to match that of his lover. Thorin rubs his thumb over both their slits, spreading their moisture between their tips. “My delicious little Antinous,” he groans. “I cannot get enough of you.”

Kili lets out a little squeak at the slight brush against his tip.  "Nor I you" he replies. He can feel he is close as he can feel their hardness grind together. "Think I'm going to spill" he pants in warning as his breath begins to hitch.

Thorin pulls close the kerchief he had at the ready as he can feel his own orgasm bubble to the surface as his ball tighten. “Fetch with me,” he moans against Kili’s neck as he rubs their pricks firmly, making sure to offer plenty of stimulation to their cockheads to bring them to their peak together. His breath shudders as he loses his control, wrapping the kerchief around their throbbing cocks as the first drops of his seed spill into the fabric.

Kili watches his partner come and finds himself bubble with excitement. The sight proves too much and he feels himself come undone and follows spilling his pearly white seed into the handkerchief and collapses against his gentleman's shoulder, panting.

Thorin slumps back against the soft back of the seat, struggling to catch his breath. “You are killing me,” he utters huskily, chuckling softly.

The teenager laughs then remembers the phrase the older man had used earlier. "You called me something … your little an..tino..us? What is that?” he asks.

Thorin begins to clean the both of them up with the handkerchief, before stuffing the offending item into the wastebin. He helps Kili tuck himself away as he begins to explain to his lover. “Antinous is a name. He was the lover of the Roman Emperor Hadrian, a very very long time ago.” He sorts himself out, checking to make sure they have not spoiled their clothing, before pulling Kili into his arms, kissing him softly. “He was a very handsome and very clever young man,” he strokes Kili’s face, “just like you. And Hadrian loved him very much, wanted to give him everything that was in his power to give him. So much so that when Antinous died the emperor declared him a god.” He brushes his hand through Kili’s hair. “Just like I want to give you, my gorgeous lover, everything that I can,” he smiles.

"You are so clever" he says to his partner and gives him a shy smile. " And too kind, I don’t deserve it" he yawns, suddenly feeling a little tired after the day’s events. "But I like it" he adds smiling up at his love and tucking his head into his shoulder.

“You do deserve it,” Thorin cuddles him. “When you have learnt to read I will get you to read some of the antiquities. And also Oscar Wilde’s poetry. He is an amazingly new talent.” _And his work is so erotic when you understand the deeper meanings!_ he thinks. Then jolts as the train starts to slow down “This is our station,” he gently pushes Kili upright and begins to close the suitcase. “Master Balin should be waiting for us with the carriage.”

Kili suddenly starts feel nervous  about seeing Mr Balin. He had known the man since he was little, but he had changed so much over the last month he thinks his mother would struggle to recognise him. As he thinks of his mother a pang of sadness strikes him. When he realises that she has only been gone two short months guilt floods through him as he thinks about how little he has thought about her and he hesitates, unsure if he can face the sight of the empty cabin on the edge of the estate which still had his mother's belongings in it, and he looks at the floor.   

“Hey, chin up,” Thorin gently pushes his chin with his thumb, smiling kindly at him. Returning to Erebor is going to be strange for the both of them, he realises that. So much has come to pass; so much has changed between them. He takes Kili’s hand and gives it a little encouraging squeeze. “I love you,” he whispers quickly just as the train comes to a halt and he is forced to let go of Kili’s hand and assume his role as his master again.

Kili takes both the suitcases in his and slowly lifts them grimacing as he does. A shooting pain soars through his back and he drops one. “Sir, I think I may need some help," he says, knowing he needs to pull up his mask however much he doesn't want to.

It pains Thorin to have to act so callously, but he knows he has no choice. “Then go and get some help, Kili,” he urges the youngster to go and find a station errand boy as he picks up his cane and brushes off his hat.

"Yes, sir," Kili replies. He knows it is all an act so he does not even feel the littlest bit sad as to how Thorin is treating him. Instead he hurries to find a boy to help him with the heavy cases and a couple of minutes later he follows his beloved out of the station, remembering to keep a respectable distance. Balin and Jayne are not hard to spot and he finds himself grin widely when he sees them. “Good afternoon, Mr Balin" he says brightly as the kind man takes the suitcase off of him.

The elderly man can barely believe his eyes when he sees young master Kili dressed smart and finds himself smiling fondly at the boy. "Well, you look quite the young gentleman," he says then turns to his master. “You have worked quite a miracle, sir.”

Thorin smiles from ear to ear. “Why, thank you Balin,” he shakes hands with his old butler who over the years has become much of a friend and confidant to him. “And you are looking well,” he compliments. “How have things been back in Erebor Hall in my absence?”

"Fine, thank you, Mr Oakenshiel, just fine. The new staff are there now and are easing the workload a lot. I thank you for that, sir," he comments opening the door for his master and Kili.

Thorin nods at him and lets Kili ascend the step first, before taking his seat next to him. “Alright?” he asks Kili, referring to his back, as he kindly squeezes his hand when the door has closed behind them.

Kili smiles at his beloved. "Fine, thank you, " he replies and begins fidgeting nervously at the thought of going home with lots of new people there.

“Kili, please stop it,” Thorin says as he watches his lover pluck at his new clothes.

The brunet stops midway through pulling at a loose thread. "Sorry, just a bit nervous," he admits  then starts twiddling his thumbs unable to keep still.

“You are making _me_ nervous!” Thorin grumbles. “Why are you nervous, my love? We are just going home.”

"There has never been anyone there other than you, ma, Balin and myself just feels strange to be going back there to a full house that’s all," he says and leans his head on Thorin’s arm.

Thorin nods. It will be strange for him too. He has lived on his own for so long that he has become quite the anti-socialite. But it must be even more daunting for Kili, being on a different rung of the social ladder. “You will have your own room, though,” Thorin tries to reassure him. “And most of the day you will be with me or at least close to me. You do not need to worry, everything will be fine. Come tomorrow you will be so busy you will not have time to worry about anything but the preparations for Christmas.”

Kili smiles. "I will make sure Erebor house looks perfect with the biggest tree and a wreath!" he says, excitement flooding through him. “And I need to find you a present and get one for Mr Balin," he says looking forward to  the things he has never had a chance to do before.

“That reminds me,” Thorin smiles as Kili’s nerves have been replaced by enthusiasm. “We have not yet discussed your wages. You will earn twenty four pounds per year. So that makes two pounds a month. You can take your first month’s wages out of my purse when we get to the estate.” He softly strokes a finger down Kili’s neck. “But if you ever need anything, just ask, my love. You will want for nothing, I promise you.

Kili's jaw drops at the sum of his new wages. "That’s far too much," he says, astounded. "I don't need any wages.  As long as I am with you I am happy," he says strongly.

“That is very sweet and romantic, Kili,” Thorin smiles kindly. “But I will not have you work for me for nothing. It is an appropriate wage for a valet and I expect you to deliver good work in return. This is a business arrangement.” He bends himself a little closer to the young man who has stolen his heart. “What we do outside that arrangement can be at your pleasure,” he winks and places a kiss against his neck.

Kili laughs. "I will work very hard," he replies then gives Thorin a flirty look, "and play harder" he purrs, brushing his hand over his cheek.

Thorin groans softly at the remark. He wants to say something in return, but then the carriage comes to a halt and he realises with mixed feelings that they have arrived. He looks at Kili with a sad smile. “From here it is business,” he says softly as he takes on the role of master of the house once more.


	30. Changes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Maurice written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin and Balin written by LadyLuna

Kili paces the corridor towards his loves study and knocks firmly on the door trying to calm his breathing.

“Come in!” Thorin’s deep voice calls from inside. He has no intention to work over the holiday season, but there are some matters at Erebor Hall that require his attention and he is reading through Balin’s notes which he had left together with the post on the desk. He looks up and sees Kili hovering in the doorway, white as a sheet. “Kili, what is the matter?!” he exclaims as his heart skips a beat.

He had planned exactly what he was going to say but it all seemed to have gone from Kili’s head. " I...I can't sleep in the room set up for me" he says quietly. " And I won’t."  

“Sweetheart,” Thorin says quietly as Kili closes the door behind him, “you cannot stay with me. I would like you to also, but you cannot. Not here.”

Kili shakes his head " I know that " he says then looks up into his lover’s eyes. " I would rather sleep in the stables than that room, I won't do it." He can feel tears prick the corner of his eyes and he looks at the floor.

“What room?” Thorin asks, confused.

" _Her_ room," he says letting out a little sob. "Please don't make me stay in there," he begs wiping his eyes with his shirt sleeve.

Thorin frowns, wondering who _her_ is, but suddenly it dawns on him and he’s on his feet in a flash. “Oh Kili,” he says, as he brushes his hand through the boy’s hair. “I am sorry. I did not know that that is the room they had allocated you, I will sort it.” And before the brunet has a chance to say anything else he is out of the door, shouting out at one of the servant girls. “Master Kili will not be staying in the blue room,” he tells the wide-eyed girl. “You will keep the room locked an unoccupied during our stay here. Now ready the green room for my valet immediately.”

Kili follows his lover out of the room and visibly flinches when Thorin orders the maid about, feeling a pang of sympathy for her as she walks past him he apologises to her for the extra work. He wants to apologise for his lovers temper, but knows he cannot and watches her hurry away looking frightened, then looks up at his lover. “Thank you sir" he says quietly.

Thorin gives him a curt nod. “Let me know if there is anything else,” he says before quickly disappearing into his study again.

Kili looks around the corridor a little unsure what to do. His duties were to be Thorin’s private servant, but he hadn't actually ordered him to do anything. He goes to knock on the door again then hesitates and backs away. _You do not want to wind him up,_ he tells himself and slowly walks down the hallway towards the huge grand oak staircase. He looks over the banisters and gasps in shock at all the servants; they were everywhere walking hurriedly in different directions. He sees house maids carrying large ceramic plates to the dining room and as he looks at their faces he can see sweat on their brows where they had been running around taking things to and from the room preparing it for Christmas. Then his eyes fall on a group of three girls who by the looks of it are meant to be dusting but are talking in low voices and giggling throwing glances in his direction. They quickly turn away when he looks at them and he can feel his cheeks burn red with embarrassment.

He jumps when he hears Thorin cough behind him and whirls round to find his master stare at him, his arms crossed. “Have you no work to do?” Thorin asks sternly, throwing a glance at the girls below who promptly scatter under his disapproving eye.

"Um no sir, I mean yes sir" Kili says, a little confused himself.

“Go and find Mister Balin,” Thorin orders. He can already see that he is going to need to keep Kili busy over the coming days. Now that the young man is scrubbed and dressed like an upper class servant, Thorin is not the only one whose eye he catches and the older man can feel a jealous sting at the unanticipated attention his lover is drawing. “He will have plenty of work to keep you occupied for now.”

"Yes Th…" he starts then realizes what he was about to say. "Yes, Mr Oakenshield" he says instead and hurries down the staircase and spots the old man by the front door. As he looks over his shoulder up the staircase he sees his beloved still watching him and hurries over to the old man.

“Hello Kili,” the older man smiles at Kili, whilst keeping an eye on all the happenings around them. “What can I do for you?”

Kili smiles at his old friend and realises how much he has missed him. “Hello, Mr Balin. The master says I am to report to you to assist you" he answers wanting to wrap his arms around the man, who he had only just realised had been such an important factor in his life growing up; a sort of father figure.

Balin looks up at his master at the top of the staircase and then smiles at Kili. He knows that Kili in his new role will technically not report to him, but equally he can see that the master expects him to take the youngster under his wing whilst they are at Erebor. He had been surprised to see Kili return with Mr Oakenshield and even more surprised to realise the gentleman had made the boy his personal servant. Thorin had never got on with the youngster before and he had half expected him to palm him off onto some London based gentleman. But something has changed in his master since Dis passed away. Thorin had made him his butler, taking the heavy work that was getting too much for him in his old days off him and allowing him to employ new staff to manage the estate. And now he was back with the youngster all smartened up. But there was something else. Something he had not seen in the master’s eyes since the lady of the house had passed away. A sparkle of life. And he wonders if the older man has finally found a new woman to be at his side. He hopes so; he wishes his master happiness. Besides, seeing Thorin in a good mood makes his own life easier too. “Very well then,” he says to the brunet, steering him towards the guest rooms. “I want you to inspect the rooms that the maids have prepared for Dr Frerin Oakenshield and his family.”

Kili looks at Balin like he has two heads. He had half expected to be told to pick up a shovel and clean out Jayne’s stable, like in the old days, not inspect bedrooms like he actually knew how they were meant to look. He had only ever lived in the little old shack and had only stayed in the huge estate house for two weeks after his mother had passed away. " Very well that I can do," he smiles nonetheless, then looks around the corridor to see if anyone is around and wraps his arms around his friend. " I have missed you" he says quietly.

Balin is startled by the unexpected gesture, but the wraps an arm about the youngster, who is now nearly a head taller than he is. “Alright Kili,” he pats him, feeling a little awkward about this display of affection. “It is good to see you again. Now you had best get on, eh. And come and see me when you are done.”

Kili releases the man from the embrace and walks to the nearest room opening the door to see a chambermaid, who is making the bed. She is around his age maybe a little older and he watches as she jumps at the sound of the door and realises it is one of the girls from earlier. “Oh sorry, didn’t mean to disturb you, " he apologises and turns to leave.

“You’re the master’s valet aren't you, sir?" she asks and blushes at the surprised look on the good looking brunet’s face.

Kili finds himself shocked at being called _sir;_ he has never really thought of the ins and outs of his new job and it is only then he realises that he is more senior than everyone except Balin. “I am, yes," he replies trying not to sound too overwhelmed at his new position.

She looks at him nervously "What is Mr Oakenshield like? I have yet to meet him, sir" she asks looking into his brown eyes.

 _What is Thorin like?_ he thinks to himself.  _Handsome, moody, scary, has a temper but deep down inside has the world’s biggest heart,_ he thinks, but knows he can't say any of these things and smiles at the nervous looking teen. " He is a fair master if you follow his orders. Do as you are told and he will be reasonable, but if you cross him he will not hesitate to show his temper," he answers honestly, hoping he hasn't scared her too much and watches her quickly finish the room and leave hurriedly.

He inspects the rest of the requested rooms then makes his way back to the grand entrance hall to find Balin in the same spot. " I have completed my task, sir, and can report they are all tidy and presentable" he says watching other staff scatter as he walks towards him.

“Excellent,” Balin replies. “That needs to go into smoking room, not the dining room!” he shouts out at one of the maids, keeping an eye on everyone all at once. “I spoke to Mr Oakenshield,” he addresses Kili again. “He said you wanted to decorate the house. Lady Arwen always used to take care of that and I don’t even know where to start. Could you take care of that please, Kili? Use the servants as you see fit to help you.”

Kili can't help but beam at realisation that his lover had kept his promise and spots a young boy of no more than seven looking up at him shyly through long black hair. He looks at his feet when he spots him and Kili chuckles as he can see a resemblance between the boy and himself. He slowly approaches him. "Hello. My name is Kili. What's yours?" he asks kindly and crouches down to his level.

The boy shyly looks into the kind man’s face. "Maurice, sir," he says barely above a whisper and looks like he may cry at being address by the master’s private servant.

Kili smiles. "It’s _Kili,_ " he replies suddenly feeling very old as the boy looks up at him wide eyed. "Please I insist, none of this _sir_ business," he says as the boy fiddles with the apron that he is wearing. “The master has given me permission to decorate the whole house with Christmas decorations and a huge tree. I’m looking for someone to help me. Would you like to come into town with me and help me pick out a massive tree and as much decorates as we can find?" he asks and can instantly see the joy in the boy’s face as he bounces on the balls of his feet with excitement.

" Truly you want me to help? I've never decorated a house before," he babbles excitedly and takes Kili’s hand as they walk to the front door.

“Can I tell you a little secret?" Kili asks and bends down to the boy as he sees him struggling to take of the apron and helps him out of it by the front door. "Neither have I, Maurice," he says walking down the driveway towards the town with his eager assistant who is by now babbling away.

+++

After a few a hours hard work the house was unrecognisable and Kili and his new friend make their way to Thorin’s office. Kili is unsure how his lover will react to the intrusion and gently knocks on the door.  Thorin looks up when the door opens after he has given his permission to enter and he smiles brightly as the face of his handsome lover peers around the door and then raises an eyebrow as he sees a young boy shuffling in nervously behind him. “Hello Kili,” he says, cocking his head. “And this is …?”

Kili beams at his lover. " This is Maurice. He has been helping me pick out all the Christmas decorations and has helped me do the whole house," he informs Thorin as the boy squeezes his hand and hides under his long hair.

“Hello Maurice,” Thorin smiles kindly and rises to his feet. But the boy shrinks away as Thorin raises himself to his full height.

Kili looks at the boy and can’t help but grin. “It’s okay, he’s not nearly as scary as he looks," he says friendly as the boy clings on to him tight.

Thorin raises a mocking eyebrow at his lover. _Thank you for that!_ And then smiles gently at the boy. “Hello,” he says again, his voice softer this time.

Maurice slowly looks up. " He... hello" he stutters shuffling his feet.

Thorin chuckles at how much the young boy reminds him of Kili when he was that age and in fact Kili not even that long ago. “Thank you for decorating my house,” he says kindly. “I must go and have a look in a moment. And what is that you got there?” he looks at what appears to be a wooden toy clutched under the boy’s arm.

The boy holds out the beautifully decorated nutcracker toy for his master to see " Kili bought it for me and some chocolate, as a Christmas present" he says clutching the toy and the huge bar of milk chocolate.

Thorin looks at Kili. “Did he now?” he asks more of Kili than of the boy.

Kili looks into his lovers questioning eyes. “Yes, sir, out of my wages and a new coat too as his old  one was all holey " he replies not breaking eye contact with his gentleman.

Thorin rubs his hand across his beard, but it is to hide his stupid grin more than anything else as he tries to remain composed. When he has himself under control again he looks back at the little boy. “Those are wonderful presents, Maurice. Master Kili is very kind, is he not?”

The boy nods then moves forward. " We got you a present too, sir" he says producing a large golden star from his pocket. " Kili says you are to put the star on top of the tree as it is only proper," he smiles handing the tall  man the large star he had picked out.  

The older man accepts the gift from the youngster and then beams at Kili. _You are too cute_ , he mouths to him, feeling his heart melt. Then he smiles at the young boy again. “Thank you, Maurice. And what an honour. You had best show me this tree then.”

 

“Oh it’s more than just the tree, sir, we done the whole house," he says excitedly grabbing Thorin’s hand and leading him out into the hall.

“Wow ...” Thorin utters as he looks around the hall. He stares in awe at what Kili and the little boy have managed to pull off in such a short space of time. Erebor Hall has been completely transformed into a winter wonderland, with garlands of holly threaded through with red and gold ribbons crowning the large fireplace, and strings of silver bells which run from one end of the room, through the chandelier and all the way to the other end. There are golden and red candles on the mantelpiece and little snow globes scattered around the place. But by far the most magnificent of all is the giant tree, sparkling with tinsel and delicate glass baubles in all colours of the rainbow. There must be at least a hundred candles perched on the branches. The only thing that is missing from this masterpiece is the star that he is holding in his hand. “It’s … wonderful,” he sighs, feeling himself well up at the sight. The last time he had seen any decorations in Erebor was the year his wife had passed away, but even then the mansion had never glowed with so much festivity as it did now. “You have excelled yourself,” he whispers to Kili.

Kili beams at his lover and gets close enough so only he can hear. “Merry Christmas, my love," he says, wanting to kiss him.

Thorin takes a shuddering breath and wipes his hand quickly across his eyes, which feel moist from the overwhelming emotions he is feeling right now. He wants nothing more than to pull Kili into a tight embrace and kiss his soft lips. Instead he settles for a whispered response. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me. Merry Christmas.”

The boy begins to tug on the masters sleeve. "The star, sir, the star" he repeats jumping in the air with excitement.

“Right, the star!” Thorin grins at him, shaken back to reality. “Now how am I going to put that on the top?” he plays, trying to reach up from where he is standing, his arm reaching up only just over halfway up the massive tree.

The boy laughs and points to the giant set of ladders. "Up the ladder, silly," he says, grabbing hold of his hand and leading him over to a large wooden ladder. “Kili had to use them to do the higher decorations and he's scared of heights," he informs the man cheerfully.

Thorin looks over at his love, stunned at being called _silly_ by a young servant boy, and then imagines Kili balancing on the ladder. He finds the brunet just grinning back at him as he gets dragged along by the dark-haired boy. “I am not sure if I am as brave as master Kili,” Thorin tells the young boy as he tentatively puts a foot on the lower rung of the ladder, looking up at the top of the tree. As he slowly begins to climb the ladder he looks back down and finds Balin staring open-mouthed at him. “I am putting the star on the tree!” he calls over to him, trying to keep his balance as he waves the decoration in the air.

Balin looks over at Kili in disbelief. “How did you get him to do that?!” he asks him under his breath.

Kili shrugs at the man " Must have the magic touch" he says cheerfully as he watches his beloved climb and can't help smiling at Thorin as he clutches the ladder for dear life.

 

“I have never seen him do anything like that before,” Balin utters as he stares up at his master who has now reached the top of the ladder and is balancing himself precariously as he reaches over to put the star on top of the tree. “Whatever it is, master Kili, you have worked a miracle.”

Kili smiles at the elderly man. “He’s not that moody," he says and claps along with Maurice as his lover places the star on top of the tree.

“He’s not,” Balin smiles, stunned at seeing Mr Oakenshield apparently enjoying himself. “I am glad you have learnt to see that, Kili.” He chuckles to himself as he thinks back to a time long ago. When Thorin and Frerin were young boys, who always used to get in heaps of trouble around the estate. Thorin had been an adventurous, reckless child, full of life and laughter; so much like young Kili. But something had changed that even before he had married Arwen. Something had put a damper on his spirit when he was around Kili’s age. Something that Balin had sworn to old master Thrain, Thorin’s father, that he would forget had ever happened. He looks back at the master as he carefully feels his way back down the ladder and for a fleeting moment wonders with a little suspicion what made Thorin turn a boy who had been nothing but a nuisance in his eyes before into what is supposed to be his closest confidant and travel companion.

"Well done, sir" Kili says once Thorin is back on safe ground, grinning at him. If truth be told he wasn't a hundred percent sure if he would agree to this so found himself relieved it had gone down well.

Thorin smiles proudly at his lover and then looks back at the young boy. “Is that okay, Maurice?” he asks, hoping to god that the boy will say yes because there is no way he will climb up there a second time.

The boy hugs the tall man’s legs "It's wonderful, sir!" he states looking up at the sparkly tree happily.

Balin flushes as the young servant boy wraps his arms around Mr Oakenshield. “Maurice, no!” the scolds him, hoping that the master will not punish him too harshly for his insolence. The youngster immediately recoils. “He’s just a kid,” Balin quickly apologises to Mr Oakenshield.

But to his surprise Thorin kneels down. “Indeed he is and you scared him,” he frowns at his old butler. “It is okay, Maurice,” he opens up his arms. “You can give me a hug, it’s fine.”

The young boy clings to the nice tall man and looks up at Mr Balin unsurely. "Why did you shout, mister?" he asks with tears in his eyes.

Balin looks at Mr Oakenshield, quite unsure what to respond or what to make of the situation. “Because …” He gives his master a helpless look.

“Because it is not proper for servants to hug the master of the house,” Thorin explains kindly to the boy, helping his butler out of his misery. He gives the boy a little wink in reassurance. “But I won’t tell if you won’t.” And he ruffles his large hand through the boy’s hair and sends him on his way.

“Sir, I …” Balin stutters as he watches Thorin get to his feet again, brushing off his clothes.

“It is fine, Balin,” Thorin smiles. “It is Christmas, time to rejoice!” he clasps the stout man’s shoulder.

“What have you done with Mr Oakenshield?” Balin mocks, staring at his master with increasing incredulity. “Who are you?!” Kili laughs as he watches the puzzlement on Balin’s face and smiles at his love.

Thorin grins at the old butler. “I don’t know what you mean. Kili is just teaching me how to celebrate Christmas properly.” And with that he leaves the two men standing by the tree as he returns to his chambers to finish off what he was doing.

Kili looks at the tree and moves over to it rearranging a few decorations to avoid the older man’s gaze " Do you like the decorations?” he asks, still not looking at his old friend and winces as he catches his back at an odd angle.

“Are you alright, Kili?” Balin asks as he watches the youngster flinch. “Have you hurt your back?”

"I’m fine, just fine, Mr Balin," he lies. In truth now he has stopped his back is agony and he has shooting pains up through it, but if he admits this it will cause too many questions.

Balin throws him a questioning look, but says no more about the matter. “The decorations are beautiful,” he observes. “Thank you for putting a smile on Mr Oakenshield’s face, Kili,” he says very quietly. “Just be careful.”

Kili looks at Balin slightly confused. "Why would I need to be careful, sir?" he asks

“Because Mr Oakenshield …” he glances around to make sure they are definitely alone. “He has certain ... interests…” he says, feeling a blush creep up his neck.

Kili instantly knows what he is referring to and can feel his cheeks colour. “There’s no need to worry about me, I'm safe with Thorin," he says smiling reassuringly.

But Balin grabs his arm. “Why did he make you his valet, Kili? Do you even know what jobs a valet is supposed to do?”

The brunet can feel his temper rise. “Of course I do, I am not as dim witted as you think!" he snaps pulling his arm free. "Butt out!"

Balin stares at the youngster in horror. Kili had never raised his voice at him before and certainly had never insulted him. “You would do well to mind your manners, young man,” he says curtly. “It normally takes a servant years to progress to the station of valet of the master. I know Mr Oakenshield will have his personal reasons to grant you such a position before you are barely dry behind your ears, but tomorrow, when his brother arrives with his own staff, you will soon learn that there are a lot of rules to this game that you do not yet know.” And he leaves Kili to think about his actions as he goes to check on the rest of the staff to ensure all is ready for tomorrow’s guests.


	31. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin and Balin written by LadyLuna

Kili wakes up with a jolt as his back hits the edge of the bedside table. He wants to scream out at the agonising pain in his back and can tell he I has done damage. His brow is covered in sweat and he is shaking at the nightmare he had had every night since that first client. The only time it had kept away was when he had been with Thorin and he finds himself walking down the short corridor to Thorin’s room with tears streaming down his face and taps on his door.

Thorin was a light sleeper at the best of times and with so many people in his home he finds himself stirred awake by the slightest of sounds. When he hears a tap on his door he shoots bolt upright. “Who’s there?” he calls out.

Kili suddenly starts to regret his decision to wake up his love knowing he is risking someone finding out but knows he can't just walk away either “It’s … it’s Kili" he stutters feeling suddenly nervous.  

A moment later the door flies open and Thorin appears in his nightgown holding up a candle. “Kili?” He quickly scans the hall and then drags the young man in by his arm. Closing the door behind him, he holds the candle up to look closer at his face. “What is wrong? Why are you crying, my love?”

" Please can I stay here with you a while, just a little while?" Kili asks feeling himself sob more. "When I'm alone the nightmare comes back" he utters and can feel himself shaking.

Thorin puts the candle on the dresser and pulls Kili into his arms. “Oh my love,” he cradles him in his embrace. ”Please don’t cry. Everything is okay.” He waits until the young man calms a little and then takes his hand and gets him to sit down on bed. “What nightmares, my love?” he asks carefully.

Kili shakes his head. " I can't you’ll think bad of me" he sobs. Then he is aware of the pain in his back. " I think I have damaged my back too" he adds crying harder in Thorin’s arms.

“Let me look at that first,” Thorin says, placing a kiss on Kili’s shoulder and making him turn around. He pulls up his nightgown at the back and can see straight away that at least one of the wounds has opened up again as the bandages are soaked through with fresh blood. “You are bleeding,” he says, wondering what is best to do. “I need Frerin to have a look at this, Kili,” he says, knowing that the brunet will argue. “It may need stitches.”

Kili shakes his head. "It will be okay, we can just put some alcohol on it" he suggests shaking his head and suddenly aware that he has only got his night gown on " I'm cold" he says trying to get up from his position on the bed.

“No, we cannot just pour alcohol on it and yes, you will let Frerin look at it tomorrow,” Thorin says sternly leaving no room for further arguments as he stops Kili from moving. “I think it is best we leave it as is for tonight; I don’t want to open it up any more by pulling at the bandages.” He forces Kili to look at him and then pulls him closer until their lips brush together. “Stay with me for a moment then,” he says as he pulls back the blankets.

Kili puts his head on his lovers shoulder " Thank you, I don't want to be on my own" he whispers and looks around the room wide-eyed, feeling like he used to when he had nightmares as a child and clings on to Thorin’s night shirt.

Thorin slides himself back under the blankets and pulls Kili close to him, pulling the cords to slide the curtains back in place around the poster bed. It feels safe and cosy lying here together, even though he knows they should not. But then who would dare come into his bedroom in the middle of the night anyway? “Are you not cold anymore now, my angel?” he whispers softly.

Kili shakes his head but is still shaking with fear after the nightmare " Thank you for letting me stay" he shudders not daring to close his eyes.

Thorin gently strokes a hand through Kili’s hair, enjoying the warmth of his lover’s body against his own. “That’s okay, my love,” he sooths. “Now tell me what upset you. You know you can tell me anything.” Nothing that you have done will even come close to the things that I have done, he thinks to himself. “Do you trust me?”

The teenager looks up at his partner with wide eyes. " Yes of course" he says  kissing his neck, and he can feel his body finally begin to relax as his lover soothes away all the hurt and pain.

“Good. Then tell me about your nightmare. It may help to share,” Thorin kisses Kili’s hair as he runs his fingers softly down his neck.

"It isn't really a nightmare, more a memory. I...I was back at that place" he says flinching at the thought of the whorehouse. “He was my first client" he says feeling sick at the thought of it.

Thorin takes a deep breath. He had had a gut feeling that this would be something to do with Kili’s ordeal. But they had never really spoken about the detail of what had happened to him there and he is not at all sure is he will be able to deal with what Kili is about to tell him. This is not about you! he reprimands himself, and he pulls Kili a little closer for comfort. “You want to talk about it?” he asks carefully.

Kili shrugs " I don't know" he replies scared to go back to that place, but not wanting to shut Thorin out. "It’s painful thinking about it" he admits.

“I understand,” Thorin says, his heart breaking for his beloved once more. “I will admit I find it hard to hear you talk about any of it also. To hear about the pain and suffering you went through without being able to do anything about it. But I will listen if you want to share your burden, my angel. I will always be here for you if you want to talk about it.”

The brunet looks into his blue eyes and can see the concern behind them. “This gentleman …" he says trying to make his emotions go dead, “… he paid a lot of money for my innocence. Thirty five guineas I think" he admits looking at his hands. "I showed him to my bedroom, like I was expected to do …" he says, then looks up at his lovers face suddenly unsure.

“You’re so brave,” Thorin whispers encouragingly, brushing strands of hair from his beautiful face. He presses a long soft kiss against Kili’s lips before he lets him continue.

“Bilbo warned me the day before not to fight it, just to accept what they were going to do to me and take it, but I didn't. I tried to tell the man no, I didn't want to, but he wouldn't listen. He grabbed my arms and chucked me on the bed and held me face down. He wouldn't stop! I screamed at him to, but he didn't! He ripped all my clothes off and .. and... " but he cannot continue and leans over the bed and vomits on to the wooden floor. "I’m so sorry,"  he sobs.  

“Oh sweet lord,” Thorin cusses under his breath as he rubs Kili’s upper arms, avoiding his injured back. “It’s alright, my sweet love,” he whispers, burying his face in Kili’s hair. “You have been so so brave and that man had no right to take you against your will.” He knows he is not exactly exempt from guilt for his own usage of the whorehouse and he is not so stupid that he believes any of the boys there really wanted to do what they did. But he would like to think that he would never have forced any of them to do anything if they had point blankly told him they did not want to. “Don’t worry, my love, we’ll clean it up later. I am so so sorry for what you have suffered. I wish I could take all your pain away for you.”

Kili weeps into his lovers chest. " I just want it to clear from my mind, but every night I'm alone it’s there and I'm there again" he sobs as his lover runs his fingers through his hair.

“I don’t know what to do, my love,” Thorin admits. “I don’t know what I can do to make it better.”

“Just hold me " Kili says wrapping his arms around Thorin’s shoulders. "And don't leave me, I can't stand being on my own" he admits wiping his eyes on his gentleman's nightgown.

Thorin wraps his beloved closer. “Some days I wish you were a girl and I could marry you and we would live happily ever after,” Thorin sighs sadly. “You can stay for a while, my sweetheart. But you cannot wake here. I am sorry.”

Kili nods in understanding and cuddles into his lover. “I think you should know I think I've upset Balin too" he snuffles trying to take his mind of the nightmare.

“Balin?” Thorin asks in surprise. “How on earth have you upset Balin?” The man is one of the most laid back people he knows. He has had to be having had to deal with his father’s temper first and now his own.

" Er he warned me to be careful around you because I think he has figured out there is something going between us. And he asked me if I even knew what a valet was and I told him to butt out and then he gave me a lecture" he admits snuggling into his lover’s side.

Thorin laughs as he can just imagine how that conversation must have gone. “You are a stupid boy, Kili,” he chuckles. “You do know that he is just trying to look out for you, don’t you?”

"I don't care. He's silly, I don't need anyone looking out for me apart from you" he grumbles.

“Mr Balin is not silly, my love, quite to the contrary. I know you only remember him as my groundsman. But he was my father’s valet before that for a very long time. He is a very intelligent man with many years of experience. You did not think I would just put the gardener in charge of my household now did you?”

Kili looks at Thorin wide-eyed. " Do you mean to tell me I have just mucked up my chance of actually being convincing in front of your family tomorrow?" he asks cursing his stupidity.

“You will do fine tomorrow, Kili. Don’t worry about that. But I do think that you owe poor old Mr Balin an apology.”

Kili lowers his head “Yes, you are right, I do" he says quietly. " I hope your family like me"

“I am sure they will,” Thorin snuggles up against the warm body of his beloved. “As for Balin guessing there is something between us, he probably wonders about my reasons for making you my valet, yes. Remember I told you about Viggo?”

“Yes I do" the brunet replies wondering what the boy had to do with Mr Balin.

“Why, Mr Balin was the only other person there when my father punished him before he sent him away. He knows what happened. And more importantly he was there for me afterwards when I was torn with guilt and grief. He is not trying to warn you because he thinks I will do you harm, Kili. But he has seen how society reacts to men like you and me and he is just trying to look out for you.”

Kili could kick himself for his stupid reaction. “So I have completely made an idiot of myself, I really need to use my head more, I feel awful" he replies guiltily hitting his palm to his forehead.

“Hey hey,” Thorin grabs his wrist. “No need for that. Do you honestly think that in thirty four years I have never had a quarrel with the old man? Trust me, he can tell you some stories about me and Frerin and they are none too pretty. Just tell him you have been an idiot and he will be fine, he does not hold grudges. And he really will be able to teach you a lot of things.” He bends himself forward, then remembers that Kili has just soiled his wooden floors. He shuffles himself out of bed on the other side and walks over to the adjacent room, promptly returning with two tiny glasses of neat absinthe, handing one to Kili. “To help you sleep.”

" I need to clean your floor first " he says hurrying to get out of bed."

“It will be dealt with tomorrow,” Thorin stops him, pulling him back under the blankets. “Now drink.”

Kili downs the green liquid in one pulling a face at the bitter taste. "Tastes better with sugar" he comments as he settles himself down in his lovers arms.

“Goodness Kili, you are supposed to sip it!” Thorin laughs. “Why you will sleep well now, that’s for sure!” He takes a sip from his own glass and puts it on the nightstand, pulling the curtains closed again as he cups Kili’s face, kissing his lips. “I had the most fun with you today,” he whispers. “And I do not just mean doing naughty things,” he blushes slightly. “Putting the star on top of the tree and seeing Balin’s stunned face was priceless. And you were so sweet to buy little Maurice a toy. You are such a special person, Kili. I love you so very much.”

Kili grins " That kid reminds me of me " he laughs then looks more serious. " I just wanted to give him something nice for Christmas" he kisses his loves hand. " I love you too"  

“Do you think you will be able to sleep in your own bed now?” Thorin says with regret. He has to return to his own room before the house wakes up.

Kili reluctantly nods. "Yes, I'll try," he says. "Goodnight, lover"

“Goodnight, my beautiful Antinous,” he strokes a hand over Kili’s cheek.

He slumps back into the pillows as he hears the door shut behind Kili. There is a deep sense of emptiness and regret pressing heavy onto his chest. It is not even the fact that they have to sleep apart - they are not married and even if they had been man and wife they would each have their own chambers. It is the fact that they can never love each other openly. Yes, at the moment those secret touches and fleeting kisses are exciting. But it is moments like these - when his beloved needs him and he cannot be there for him the way he wants to - that are killing him. As he thinks back to the afternoon, when he had watched the maids throw interested glances at young Kili, it is with a deep sadness he thinks that Balin is right to warn the boy about him and what he is condemning him to. And he wonders if he is just being selfish courting the young man.

+++

Kili makes his way down the corridor to the room Mr Balin had always lived in it. He finds himself wincing with every step as his back had gone from painful to almost unbearable. As he reaches the room he has a sudden pang of nerves; he had never seen inside Mr Balin’s room before. And gently taps the door. A moment later the door opens and the old butler appears in the doorway, still tying his bowtie. “Good morning, master Kili,” he smiles kindly.

"Good morning, sir," Kili replies, shuffling his feet nervously, unsure what to say next.

Balin looks at the youngster with a hint of amusement. He reminds him so much of a young Mr Oakenshield it is uncanny. “Is there something you wanted to say to me?” he asks as he proceeds to do up his cufflinks, aware that there is still much to do this morning.

"Y… yes sir." Kili feels like a little child again being made to apologise for wrecking Balin’s roses like he had so often. "I'm very sorry for how I spoke to you yesterday, sir. It was rude and won't happen again," he says lowering his head.

“Good,” Balin nods and clasps Kili’s shoulder, only for the boy to flinch. “You need to get that seen to, Kili,” he says sternly. “Doctor Oakenshield, the master’s brother, should take a look at it later.”

The teenage wants to snap back that he doesn't want a doctor but holds his tongue. “Yes, sir, the master has already told me he would like it seen to," he says trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

“Good,” Balin says again. He has never been a man of many words; it is not his job to talk, it is his job to care for the master and his home. “Now we best have breakfast before our guests arrive.” He steers the youngster ahead of him towards the small dining room for the upper servants, which currently means just the two of them.

"Sir, can I tell you something?" Kili asks then continues when the man nods, " I have no clue what I am doing. I haven’t even the faintest idea what a valet even is," he confesses sitting down at the little wooden table.

“I know,” Balin smiles as he pushes a plate with a breadroll, some leftover ham and a cold egg towards the young man.

“And I don’t want to embarrass Tho ... Mr Oakenshield," he finishes putting his head in hands.

Balin takes his seat opposite Kili and raises an eyebrow at the lad at his slip up. He wants to ask him outright what the deal is with him and the master, but he knows it is not his place and he is too much of a seasoned professional to go behind the master’s back. He takes a bite of the boiled egg and once he has finished chewing addresses the youngster again. “Would you like me to teach you?” he asks since Kili is not saying anything else. “I was the valet for Mr Oakenshield’s father before I retired. I know you think me an old fool …”

"I don’t think you’re a fool,” Kili says quickly looking his old friend in the face. "And yes please otherwise I think I'll be out of a job by the end of the day," he semi- jokes.

Why, he clearly did not employ you for your excellent references or your proven valeting skills, Balin thinks but he holds his tongue. “It will be my pleasure,” he smiles. He had always liked Kili. Yes, the lad was an arm full of trouble, but although he had yet to learn when to hold his tongue, his heart was in the right place. Besides he had cared greatly for the boy’s mother and her death had saddened him a lot. He would ensure the lad would have done her proud. “First thing you need to do as soon as you have finished breakfast is get the master’s shaving kit ready.”

“Okay, shaving kit. Got it," Kili says, trying to remember where he had actually put the kit when he unpacked Thorin’s luggage.

“The master may want you to trim his beard for him, although Mr Oakenshield has always preferred to do that himself.” Then again, he never had a valet before! “If the latter, you are just to hand him the necessary tools, ensuring they are sharp and clean before he starts.” Then he cocks his head at Kili, looking at the faint stubble on his chin and jawline. “Do you know how to shave a gentleman, Kili?”

Kili shakes his head What the hell was I thinking when I agreed to this? he thinks panic rising again. Why the hell did I not just say have a great Christmas, I'll stay here? " I am in trouble aren’t I?” he says to Balin, putting his head in his hands again.

Balin chuckles, but he does not mean it unkindly. “You have a lot to learn,” he says. “But you will do fine. I just suggest you do not practise your shaving skills on the master. You would not want him to face his family with a chunk of his beard missing now would you?”

Kili can help but laugh out loud at that comment. "I could pencil it in … " he jests, but flinches under Balin’s unamused look. "So no practicing on Th.. Mr Oakenshield’s beard.” And stop calling him Thorin! he scolds himself.

“When we are not so busy I will take you to a barber,” Balin says. “So you can learn how to do it. Until then, best not. The most important job you will have in the mornings is to light the fire in the master’s room and then ready the master’s outfit. Most gentlemen do not get up too early, but Mr Oakenshield has always been an early riser so you will need to plan your work accordingly.”

I already know what time he rises, I sleep next to him, Kili thinks as he nods in understanding.

“You will have to ensure,” Balin continues, seemingly without the need to breathe, “his clothes are laundered and pressed - something you will have to learn to do - and laid out for him. You should be at the ready to hand him each item should he wish you to. Basically, Kili, you will responsible for the master’s appearance, from grooming his hair and beard, to dressing him. Do not worry. If you are unsure just ask me.” Or him, since you seem to have grown so close to him in London …

Kili thinks his mind might explode with all the information he has just been given and he knows he has forgotten most of it already. He pushes his plate away, feeling too sick with worry to eat and feels his stomach churning. " Thank you for your help," he croaks unsure if he's happy he now knows what he is expected to do or scared more and reaches for a glass of water in front of him, wishing it was something stronger.

“Oh but we are not done yet, young master Kili,” Balin continues his lesson, apparently obvious to the young man’s anguish or relishing his revenge. “Once the master is dressed and ready to go out you need to be waiting for him at the front door with his gloves, his cane and his hat. I will show you how to care for his hat, which is a particularly delicate item you need to brush. When he is ready to go outside you are to open the door for him and take any additional orders the master has for you. You are either accompany the master as he requires or otherwise you are then to return to his dressing room and tidy anything that has been left out, including cleaning all the brushes ...” He stops talking when he sees the young man looks like he is about to burst into tears, feeling a pang of pity for him. It is a lot to ask of someone his age who has never attended to a gentleman in his life. “Kili,” he says kindly, “Mr Oakenshield will not be mad with you if you get it wrong.”

Kili nods then stands up feeling a little unsteady on his feet. "Thank you Mr Balin, I best get started right away," he squeaks and hurries out of the room. He slowly makes his up the stairs towards his beloved’s room and once outside knocks on the door.

“Come in!” Thorin calls out and smiles when his young lover enters, looking as gorgeous as ever in his new outfit.

The brunet feels as if he might pass out and tries to smile back but thinks he might puke if he does too much and shuts the door behind him.

“What’s wrong?” Thorin asks as he can see how pale Kili looks. “Is your back that bad?” he scans him with concern.

"Why the hell did you make me your valet, I'm going to be rubbish!” Kili immediately spews out his anguish. “Balin has just told me what I have to do and I have no skills in any of it. I have never even shaved myself, let alone someone else. How am I supposed to pull this off?!" he utters feeling close to tears and walks over to Thorin’s bed and  sits on it to stop himself swaying.

Thorin looks at his lover in amusement. “You know why I made you my valet!” he chuckles. “Do you really think I care for your skills in pressing my clothes or handing me my hat when I go out? I have managed for nearly twenty years without being catered to like that and I think I have survived admirably on my own,” he smirks. “I want you as my valet so that you can be at my side as much as possible, here at Erebor and when we travel.” He takes Kili’s chin in his large hand and makes him look into his eyes. “And I have no doubt that you can take care of my needs as I require, my little fairy.”

Kili can feel the colour returning to his face. " Thank god, because I can barely look after myself, let alone someone else. You said last night sometimes you wish I was a girl. Well, be thankful I am not, I would be a rubbish mother," he jokes starting to calm.

The older man laughs out loud at that as the picture of Kili as some lady of the house with kids hanging off her skirts is making his sides hurt. “You are a fool,” he says to him as he pulls the young man to his feet. “But anyhow, that is not to say I do not think it would not be good for you to learn a skill. None of us were born knowing our trade, Kili. I studied for many years to become a barrister and still with every case I learn something new. You will be amazed at yourself when you look back on yourself in a year’s time. Only a month ago you could not even tell the time or quote the alphabet. I bet you that you will pick up what you need to know quicker than you give yourself credit for.” He throws a quick glance at the door and then presses a kiss on Kili’s lips. “But I do not expect anything from you other than to be at my side and receive my guests in a courteous and professional manner. I am sure you can manage that.”

The teenager nods. “Yes, that I can do. Mr Balin had me so scared, I didn't eat my breakfast," he admits holding his lover’s hand and grimaces as his back gives a sharp shooting pain.

Thorin places a kiss on his hand. “You silly boy. Go and get yourself something to eat then report back to me, before my brother arrives.” He whispers in his ear before he lets his lover go, “May I just say you look delicious this morning.” And smiles as he watches the youngster leave with a blush in his cheeks.


	32. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili,Maurice,Frerin, Frances- Witchesdelite
> 
> Thorin, Fili , Balin - LadyLuna

Fili bounces in his seat as they approach his uncle’s estate. They have not been at Erebor Hall for years - usually uncle Thorin comes to visit them at their home in Manchester - but he remembers the estate has a lake and woods and he also remembers the last time uncle Thorin came to see them he had promised him he would take him hunting when he was sixteen. “We are here!” he exclaims as he can, see the gates of the mansion.

Frances stares at her blonde haired son fondly " Yes sweetheart we are here why don't you sit back" she suggests as the cobbles leading up to the estate are extra bumpy.

Fili sits back for a fraction of a second as his mother had ordered, but as soon as they have passed the gates he is up on his feet with his nose pressed up against the window again. When the carriage comes to a halt he stumbles, brushing against his father’s leg and stepping on his foot as he tries to maintain his footing.

"Careful Philip " Frerin laughs ruffling his sons hair, and looks at the window getting a pang of happiness as he always does when he gets a chance to return to his childhood home.

The blond boy is out of the carriage before the footman has barely had a chance to open the door and he runs towards the big house, a huge grin plastered across his face as he can see his tall uncle standing at the top of the steps waiting for him. “Uncle, uncle!” he cries out as he thunders of the steps and comes to a halt just before the dark-haired man. “Uncle, are we going hunting?!”

Thorin smiles at his nephew. “Hello Fili,” he says, ruffling the boy’s hair. “You have grown a lot since I last saw you.” He looks over to his brother and his wife as they walk up to house, ignoring his nephew’s pouting for a moment as he has not answered his question.

Frerin smiles at his brother and wraps his arms around him in an embrace " Its been a long time Thorin" he states then looks him up and down " You’re looking well" he smiles thinking of the last time he saw his brother. It had been around two years ago and he had thought he had looked quite ill as he had been working himself to  exhaustion.

Thorin pats his brother on the back. “Thank you, as do you brother. It is good to see you.” He looks over to his wife. “Frances,” he smiles at the perfectly dressed lady and presses a kiss on her held out hand. “Welcome to Erebor Hall. I hope you have enjoyed a good journey.”

Frances smiles at her brother in law " very well thank you" she replies thinking how happy Thorin seemed to look and that she cannot recall ever seeing him this cheerful before.

“Please come out of the cold,” Thorin indicates for them to enter the house. Fili immediately flies past him and then stops and turns as he waits for his valet to catch up with him to take his coat and gloves from him.

Kili watches as the boy rushes past him nearly knocking home over as he barges past. _what a spoiled rich boy_ he thinks as he watches him chuck his outer garments at a man that must be double his age. He looks at a blonde haired gentleman following him in _Definitely the brat’s dad_ he thinks as he can see similarities in their appearance. Next in is has long black hair and is staring fondly at the boy as if he was the most precious person ever. he starts to shift uncomfortably as they all walk past not even noticing him, which he finds he is quite happy about.

Thorin is the last to follow his family into the Hall and as he walks passed Kili he throws him a surreptitious wink, before quickly returning his attention back to his brother. “Has it really been two years since I last saw you?” he starts casual conversation as they walk towards the smoking room.

“Oooooooooooooooooooooh!” the blond boy cries out as he looks up at the giant tree inside the hall. “Look how big it is, father! Why don't we have such a big tree?”

The blonde gentleman spins around the room in shock " This is amazing" he says feeling his jaw drop. He had never seen the grand house this decked out and beautiful before "Who did all this?" he asks looking at his brother who was smiling which was a shock in itself.

“The credit for that goes to my new valet, Mr Durin,” Thorin beams as he points his hand towards Kili who looks distinctly uncomfortable as he watches the sudden invasion. They had agreed that Kili would adopt his mother’s maiden name as his surname. “He has done a fantastic job, has he not?”

"Amazing" Frerin agrees frowning at the boy. _He can't be much older than Fili_ he thinks as he looks the boy up and down, Valets were supposed  to be trustworthy, mature members of staff not shy looking teenagers. he looks to his brother in surprises and sees him smiling at the dark haired servant " since when did you get a valet" he says trying to keep his voice light and friendly.

“It is only proper, is it not,” Thorin guides his brother further into the house. “I have for once listened to your advice, brother,” he tries to get Frerin on side. “And I must say it has proven a good decision, making my travels much easier with having someone to take care of matters for me.”

Frerin nods not a hundred percent trusting his brothers words and allows himself to be guided into the surprisingly busy house "Fili has been hounding us non stop since he found out we were coming for Christmas " he tells him smiling " he cannot wait to go hunting we even bought him a rifle."

Thorin smiles as he hands his brother a cigarette from his smoking box. “I look forward to it,” he says earnestly. “I thought perhaps Boxing Day. Give us all a bit of exercise to work off our Christmas dinner?” He has not been out shooting for a long time and he thinks with excitement that Kili will also be able to join them on this trip, even if it is only as his right hand man, hoping his lover will enjoy the sport.

Whilst his father has joined uncle Thorin in his smoking room and his mother is being shown her chambers by the maid so that she can make toilet, Fili walks around the great hall, looking with big wide eyes up at the           sparkling decorations. He picks up a snow globe with a few trees and a deer inside and shakes it hard, watching the fake snow fill the little toy, but quickly putting it down again as something else takes his interest. As he walks over to the big tree, he grabs one of the glass baubles, twisting it around so that the candlelight bounces off it and creates sparkling reflections on the floor.

The young boy Maurice spots his friend and runs wildly towards the doorway, he stops when he notices a blonde man fiddling with the tree and smiles at the possibility of making another new friend " Its pretty isn't it mister, Kili and me done it all  yesterday, but we have to be careful, Kili said the ornaments are breakable" he explains walking towards the blonde man.

Fili looks at the scruffy boy in shock. This servant dare speak to him?! He looks over at the brunet boy standing by the door still, who he had heard uncle Thorin say was his valet, but who looks to be the same age as him. He sneers at the both of them as he pulls the bauble he had been playing with off the branch and drops it onto the floor, watching it shatter into a thousand pieces. “So they are,” he smirks at the little boy. “Now you must clean it up. That will teach you for talking to me, _servant_.”

Rage erupts from Kili as he witness the scene and can hear Maurices sobs by the doorway " Leave him alone" he shouts rushing over to the boy as fast as his back would allow him " why don't you pick on someone your own size rich boy, or are you afraid you might break a nail" he growls getting in front of Maurice and guiding him away from the blonde.

Fili’s mouth falls open in shock. “How dare you talk to me like that, boy,” he snaps. “Do you know who I am?” He puffs himself up a little, although even at his full height he is a good few inches shorter than the brunet. “I am your master’s nephew and you will show me respect.”

"  You are a spoilt idiot , who can find nothing better than to pick on small children" he snaps eyeing the blonde with dislike " you have no right to come into this house and talk to people like that" he thunders then turns to Maurice "why don't you go play somewhere else  I’ll come and find you later" he promises and watches the small boy leave then turns back to the blonde " you will leave him alone you ..." he snarls.

“KILI!” The old butler comes striding towards the both of them with surprising vitality. “What is going on?” He turns to the young gentleman. “Everything alright, master Oakenshield?”

“He called me an idiot!” Fili begins to sob loudly. “And then he pushed me!”

" I did not push you, lying little ...."

“Kili!” Balin grabs the youngster hard by his upper arm. “How dare you! You will apologise to master Oakenshield now.” When he can see the youngster is intend to argue the case further he turns his back on Fili for a brief moment as he hisses at the young valet, “I do not care what you did or did not do, you are supposed to be the master’s valet. Now apologise to his guest!”

Kili gulps at Balin’s words then turns to the blonde " I apologise, I should not of raised my voice to you" he says trying to make it sound sincere although he would like nothing more than to hit his smug screwed up face.

“I will tell uncle Thorin what you said,” Fili snarls back. “And he will sack you.”

“Mr Durin has apologised to you for his mistake, master Oakenshield,” Balin tries to placate the young gentleman. “It is courteous for a gentleman to accept such an apology, young master.” He has dealt with volatile young gentlemen - including the master and his brother - for long enough not to be phased by the youngster.

Fili snorts and then turns on his heels and runs up the stairs to his room.

Kili can feel the elderly man loosen his grip on his arm " well how long did I last Balin  not even two hours" he says trying to keep his tears at bay.

The older man feels his fury subside as he sees the upset in his young protege. “You must learn to mind your temper, master Kili,” he says sternly. “I know master Oakenshield can be a brat, but he is the master’s nephew.”

 _Yes, well I am his lover!_ Kili wants to scream at the top of his lungs.

“You cannot explode like that every time he winds you up or these are going to be some very difficult days for us all. Now go and cool off and when you come back you will be on your very best behaviour. You do not want to embarrass Mr Oakenshield now do you?”

" It’s too late now , you heard him" Kili says and can no longer stand being in the room he had tried to make so perfect for his beloved " I have ruined everything" and runs out of the  the door and down the steps, over the lawn to the only place that had ever made him feel safe and slowly opens the shack door.

+++

"“It has been good to catch up,” Thorin smiles at his brother as he finishes his glass of wine. “How about we have a walk around the estate before lunch?” He gets to his feet and puts away the cigarette box.

Frerin laughs a sudden memory floods back to him " Do you remember  that year we were walking on the frozen lake and it cracked and my foot got stuck" he smiles .

Thorin joins in his brother’s laughter. “How can I forget! I thought we were both going to go through at one point. I am so glad father never found out, he would given us the cane alright.” He pulls the cord to notify Kili that he is to attend to him. “Oh, and do you remember how we made that snowden in the woods. And then it collapsed and nearly buried us. And I swear I still had snow coming out of my cottons when I got changed!”

Frerin cackles " Thank god for Balin. We would never have been able to sit down if hadn't been for him" he says fondly.

“Poor old Balin,” Thorin nods. “He always used to cover for our mischief.”

Frerin looks at his brother seriously " so why the boy as your valet Thorin?, why not someone older? He asks voicing what he has wanted to find out since he got here.

Thorin flushes, but he had anticipated the question nonetheless. Of course his brother would ask, he is all too aware that Kili is way too young and inexperienced for the job. But he decides to tell Frerin some of the truth. In his many years at the bar he has learnt that it is always better to tell the truth where possible. “His mother passed away a few months ago. Consumption. On her death bed she asked me to take the boy with me to London to find his father, which I did. However I learnt afterwards that his father treated him badly, locked him up and beat him for no reason, practically enslaved him.” He looks at his blond brother, knowing there will not be a better moment. “Which brings me to a favour I need to ask you, little brother. Would you please have a look at his back later? He has whip marks there and they continue to split open and debilitate him.”

Frerin flinches at this news "Poor child" he utters feeling more sympathetic by the second " How bad are we talking?" he asks trying to figure out the right course of treatment.

“Probably better for you to assess,” Thorin answers. “But I have already taken him to hospital to get the infection drained. It is pretty bad. Will you have a look please?”

"Yes of course I will, I will never let someone suffer unnecessarily" he says smiling at his brother.

Thorin could just kiss his brother for that remark which gives him the perfect lead in. “Exactly how I felt,” he says. “I just could not leave him there, brother, it is not what Dis would have wanted for her son. So I gave him a job. You always said I could do with a valet, someone to accompany me on my travels, to take care of my luggage. It is all I really need, Frerin. I don’t want some old bloke shadowing me all day deciding what clothes I am to wear. It is an arrangements that works for the both of us.”

Frerin can't help but feel sorrow for death of Dis, He remembers the woman well she had always been courteous and polite, He cant help but feel sympathetic for the boy either, he had never spoke to him but remembers Thorin moaning about him on a number of occasions " It is kind of you to take the boy on Thorin But he is clearly useless , you signalled for him nearly five minutes ago, he should be hurrying to obey your commands not disobeying them" he points out worrying what society will think about his brother and his young servant boy " if I remember rightly he doesn't even have any schooling. A valet needs to read and write. Brother, I fear you are wasting your time."

“He is learning,” Thorin says defensively, although he tries hard to keep his tone neutral. He wants to say that he is teaching him, but remembers in time that that will only earn him more of his younger brother’s disapproval. And he is worried that Kili still has not appeared. Perhaps he does not realise that that is what the bell means, he thinks. He had not exactly explained it to him. “Excuse me a moment,” he tells his brother and leaves the smoking room, closing the door behind him.

Just as he takes a few steps towards the staircase to find Kili a hand stops him in his tracks and as he turns around he finds Balin looking at him anxiously. “Have you seen Kili?” he asks, but before he has even finished the question he senses there is trouble.

“May I speak in private, sir?” Balin almost whispers to him.

As he leads on towards the library Thorin feels his stomach churn with anxiety and he nervously bites his lip, dying to ask Balin what the hell is going on. “Where is Kili?” he asks more urgently as soon as Balin has closed the door behind them.

“There was a minor incident, sir,” Balin carefully says. “It is nothing too serious,” he quickly adds as he can see the panic in his master’s eyes. “However, Kili had an ehm … altercation with young master Fili.”

+++

“Kili?!” Thorin’s deep voice rolls through the little shack like a thunderstorm and Kili shoots bolt upright. “Kili, where are you?!” He blinks against the semi-darkness in the now even more dilapidated dwelling that was once Kili’s home.

Kili is reluctant to answer after a couple of seconds he slowly replies in a whisper" On the bed"  

Thorin strides over, traversing the small room in just a few steps and looks down on the curled up frame that is his lover. “Balin just spoke to me. What on earth were you thinking?!”

" He made Maurice cry" he states not looking at Thorin's face, he was shaking due to the cold and had been unable to find the matches that him and his Mother had once kept on the little shelf above the tiny fireplace.

“For goodness sake, Kili, get up and speak to me properly,” Thorin snaps, thinking how Kili is messing up his uniform as he lies sobbing on the bed like a child.

Kili shakes his head and turns the other way so he is no longer facing him, he has no desire to see the disappointment in his eyes.

“I said get up!” Thorin bellows and he grabs Kili’s arm and twist him round, causing him to scream out in pain as his back is twisted. Thorin instantly lets go. “Sorry …” he mumbles and sinks down into a chair that looks like it will barely hold his weight and buries his head in his hands.

Kili instantly gets up and walks over to his lover kneeling in front of him " don't worry it was my fault, I should have done what you asked" he says taking his lovers hands in his.

Thorin slowly looks up. “Why did he make Maurice cry?” he asks softly.

"The boy  was only being nice, your nephew was looking at the tree, Maurice saw him and said that the tree looked wonderful and that they were breakables on it so we had to be careful and thats it I swear thats it, then Fili took a bauble off the tree smashed it on purpose then called the boy servant and demanded he clean it up, he's six years old for god sake" he says feeling himself get angry again at the thought of the smug face " How much did Balin tell you? he asks.

“Just that he saw you raise his voice at my nephew. And that Fili said you had pushed him, but that he believed you when you said you had not.” He rubs his hands across his face, thinking these are going to be some difficult days ahead. “Look, sweetheart,” he sighs. “I know Fili can be rude. My brother, well … I think he could discipline him more when he lets him get away with certain things. But ultimately he is my brother’s son and you are my valet. And even if he does not mind his manners, I still expect you to minds yours.”

Kili nods " Yes I will do better, I just couldn't watch Maurice cry I saw red. Im lucky Balin interrupted because I threatened him a little" he admits looking at the floor " I know your nephew will probably tell you different but I really was only protecting the boy" he mutters.

“I believe you,” Thorin smiles kindly. “Don’t let him antagonise you, my love. I made you my valet so we can have the best chance of being together that we will ever have. Try to make it work. For us.”

Guilt begins to ebb away at him at his lovers words " Will.. will I face a punishment for how I spoke to your nephew?" he asks remembering His words the day before when he found out about the watch.

But Thorin shakes his head. “You have apologised. And I know Fili was in the wrong too. I will speak to him about his behaviour also. Now get yourself tidied up. The reason I went looking for you in the first place was because my brother and I will go for a walk around the estate. And need you out there to assist me if I so require.”

" What would you need assistance to with" the brunet wonders out loud.

“I need you to carry an umbrella for me. In case it rains,” Thorin shrugs. _Truth is I don’t really need any assistance, I just want you close,_ he thinks, but after Kili’s misstep just now he decides to keep it professional.

Kili nods " If that is what you wish then that is what I shall do" he says wanting nothing more than to go back into the main house  out of the harsh cold.

+++

“A misunderstanding,” Thorin apologises to his brother once he has jogged back towards the main house, feeling flustered. He hopes to God that no-one has mentioned the altercation to Frerin, least of all Fili who would have been sure to blow it out of all proportions. “He was attending to something I had forgotten I had asked him to do,” he lies, “but he will be right with us.”

Frerin looks at his brother doubtfully.He had always been able to tell when his sibling was lying. His own valet stood patiently behind him being attentive as always to his duties. " Will he be joining us soon" he asks tapping his foot in irritation.

“Yes, I said so, did I not?” Thorin snaps, but bites his lip as he realises he is not helping the situation. Just as he is about to make a mitigating comment the words die on his tongue as his nephew comes rushing towards him. “Where are we going, uncle Thorin?” Fili bounces on the balls of his feet, looking excited. Thorin feels his heart miss a beat as he thinks about Kili having come to blows with the young blonde already and opens his mouth to tell the youngster that it is only him and his father going for a walk, when Frerin interrupts him before he has even uttered a syllable.

"Ah Fili there you are. We are going for a walk, why don't you join us? Get Jack to get your coat," Frerin smiles at his excited son as he rushes to find his own valet.

Thorin can hear himself sigh audibly and turns away, needing a moment to catch his breath before he throttles someone. As he walks back into the smoking room, Balin is beside him. “Sir, are you alright? Did you find Kili?” he asks under his breath.

“I did,” Thorin sighs. He turns to Balin and throws him a curt smile. “All is fine. Please do not worry,” he dismisses the old butler as he turns to pour himself half a brandy to warm his insides and settle his nerves. When he returns to the main hall he is relieved to find that Kili has indeed appeared and is waiting for him.

Kili spots his lover enter the hall and gives him a little smile. "I have brought your coat, sir," he says then frowns as he spots a louse crawling up his sleeve and quickly looks around the room and flicks it off onto the floor hoping no-one has seen the horrible blood sucker.

Thorin is relieved to find that the two teenagers both have decided to pretend nothing untoward had happened and that Frerin still is oblivious to their earlier argument. “Thank you,” he lets Kili help him into his coat and accepts his gloves, hat and finally his cane. “I believe we are ready to go,” he smiles at his brother, who just raises a questioning eyebrow at him, which he chooses to ignore.

Kili watches the gentlemen and their staff leave and notes Thorin's brother give him an odd, almost accusing look as he walks past and turns to Mr Balin who has watched the scene  "Have I forgotten anything, sir?" he asks the elderly servant, wanting to impress his lover.

“Have you remembered to bring your manners?” Balin says under his breath so that only Kili can hear, with only a hint of mockery in his tone.

Kili looks ashamed and begins to inspect the clothing feeling his face turn crimson."Yes," he nods and rushes after the others.

+++

Kili watches as his lover and his family walk around the frozen lake. The temperature had dropped more and it was bitterly cold, and he had his thick trench coat that Thorin had brought him wrapped around him as well as a thick scarf and his gloves. In his hands he has a small wooden box and a sharp whittling knife; both he had found in his old home and he had suddenly thought of the perfect Christmas gift for his beloved.

He feels his heart drop as he watches the blonde boy link his arm with Thorin's. He longs to be able to do that with no repercussions. But knows if he and Thorin even got caught holding hands, they would never see each other again.

The blonde boy looks over and catches his eye, he gives him a smug look and wraps his arm around his uncle. _He knows_ Kili panics, but a second later dismisses this thought. _No, he’s looking like a smug git because he has probably realised that he is the reason I am stuck just sitting here_ he thinks bitterly and goes back to carving a swirl into the box lid, trying not to keep glancing over but failing miserably. 

“I know I have let parts of the estate fall into disrepair,” Thorin talks to his brother as they make their way along the grounds. “So I have thought about selling up for a while now …”

“Uncle Thorin,” Fili interrupts, tugging at his sleeve, “Father bought me a real hunting rifle! When are we going hunting?”

Thorin grits his teeth. He would never in his wildest dreams have dared interrupt his father or uncles as they spoke to other adults and he looks at Frerin, expecting him to say something to his son.

"We will be going Boxing Day," Frerin tells his son watching him cling to his uncle.

Thorin rolls his eyes at Frerin’s lack of disciplining the youngster, but continues their conversation. “So as I was saying, I am considering selling up. I am not sure, what do you think, brother?”

Frerin looks at his brother face and can see the confusion in his eyes " Why, it certainly is a waste as you spend hardly any time here and I have no plans to return. We could sell it and make a nice profit," he replies watching the dogs run across the snow.

Thorin nods contemplatively, following his brother’s gaze. “I think I will wait with my decision till the spring. This is not a good time to put it on the market anyway. I have asked Balin to get someone to carry out some rep…”

Again he is interrupted by his nephew as the blond tugs on his father’s sleeves. “Dad, Boxing Day is aaaaaaaaaaaages away!” the youngster sulks, pouting.

"Son, you may have some lovely Christmas presents that will aid you with hunting " Frerin smiles, thinking of the expensive hunting kit him and his wife had got him for Christmas.

Fili’s eyes grow wide with excitement. “Oh yay!” he bounces on his feet, beaming at his uncle, but frowning as he finds him glancing back at the servant boy once more and does not seem to be paying him the slightest bit of attention. With an angry scowls he picks up a round stone and chucks it across the lake taking his frustrations out on a duck sat on the ice. The bird flies up, squawking loudly, much to Fili’s delight. What he had not anticipated is that one of Thorin’s dogs sees it as a game and promptly runs after the stone onto the ice.

"Son, the ducks are not toys " Frerin chuckles, thinking of the playfulness of youth.

“Indeed they are not,” Thorin snaps, and he puts his fingers in his mouth issuing a shrill whistle to call the dog back. “You foolish boy!” he snarls at Fili as he can see his wolfhound is struggling on the ice, whilst its brothers watch on the side, howling at their sibling.

The brunet can feel a wave of horror spread over his body as he watches the hound struggle and slip on the ice.

“Bombur!” Thorin calls over to his dog as anxiety begins to fill him and he rushes up to the edge of the lake. “Bombur, come here now!” To his horror where the stone has hit the ice a crack has formed and he sees the large animal’s back paws are sinking into the ice cold lake.

Kili watches the scene unfold in horror. His instinct kicks in and he rushes to the lake. The large dog is now howling with pain and fear, and he knows he cannot just sit and watch as the dog sinks, he puts one foot on the lake unsurely. When nothing happens he slowly puts the other foot down screwing up his eyes preparing for the ice to give way and to be drawn into freezing cold water.

“Kili!” Thorin cries out in alarm as he catches movement in the corner of his eye and sees what his lover’s intention is. “Don’t even think about it!” He takes his eyes off the struggling dog now and makes for the brunet, his heart thumping in his throat. “Don’t go onto the ice, it’s too thin!” he calls out as he sees the nightmare unfold before his eyes.

Even Fili has frozen to the spot, shocked by what is happening. He had not intended for the dog to go on to the ice and he does not want for it to get hurt. But he does not know how to swim and even when he takes a tentative step forward towards the frozen lake, he feels his father’s strong hand pull him back.

Kili closes his eyes, realising the ice is able to just take his weight and takes a careful step forward towards the whining dog. "It’s okay, sir, I'll get him," he calls taking another uneasy step, trying to stop his feet from sliding.

Thorin feels like his heart might stop as he watches his beloved shuffle further onto the ice. “Jesus, Kili, no!” he calls out. “Come back right now. Bombur!” he shouts over the wolfshound again, hoping that if at least the animal will listen then Kili will not carry on with his foolish rescue plan. But as neither seems to listen he does not know what to do next. All there is left in his vision is Kili inching forward towards the howling animal and he can hear the ice groan under their weight. And he prays for it to hold.

Kili can almost touch the animal and can feel the ice is slightly thinner here.He carefully puts his foot down and can feel the ice move. "It’s okay, Bombur" he calls to the animal trying to calm him whilst trying to keep calm himself as the ice moves under his feet. He looks around and realises with dread that  his only option is to lie himself down on his front to distribute his weight. He slow sinks to his front and finds he can just reach the animals paw. "Bombur hold still," he says, tugging at his leg and eventually he manages to free him and watches as the animal hurtles towards his master.

Although Thorin is glad that the animal is safely back on shore, he finds little comfort in that now that his young lover is the one in danger. He can see larger cracks break across the thin ice which splinter off into different directions, where the large dog has fled across the lake and every movement Kili makes is causing the entire frozen mass to bob on top of the water. With terror in his eyes he knows it will take but one wrong move before the ice will give way and the brunet will fall into the icecold water. And he does not even know if Kili can swim. He frantically looks around to the bystanders - his brother and Fili, and their valets - and makes some quick decisions. “Find Balin. Get him to bring blankets. Get someone to stoke the fire. Now!” he orders the two valets. Then he throws his hat into the snow and begins to take off his gloves and his winter coat.

"Thorin don't be stupid" Frerin says sternly grabbing his older brother’s arm in a death grip. “What good will it do if you end up in the ice water as well," he says trying to keep his worry for his brother out of his voice.

Thorin turns to his brother, scowling. “Then what will you have me do?” he growls. “Watch one of my staff drown?!” He shrugs himself out of his brother’s grip. “Why, I wil not!” And he throws his coat into his brother’s arms and steps down the bank. “Kili! Kili, can you make it back?” he calls out, trying to hide the anxiety in his voice.

Kili can feel panic begin to grip him as he can feel the ice move and hear a cracking and begins to look around the lake for something to grab hold on as he can feel the ice begin to give way.

“My God,” Thorin curses under his breath as the main crack through the ice splits and water gushes through the gap onto the ice. “Kili!!” he shouts out and he does not hesitate when a split second later he watches his lover sink through the weakened ice and into the lake up to his waist and he desperately claws at the crumbling ice to try and stop himself from falling in completely. “Kili, hold on, I am coming to get you!” And he takes a deep breath as he jumps onto the ice, knowing that it will break instantly under his weight.

Kili's breath begins to hitch as he can feel his whole body fall into the freezing cold water. "I...I can't breath " he gasps struggling to get breath into his lungs as it feels like knives are stabbing at his body and wounds .

Thorin gasps as he hits the ice cold water and he worries for a moment when his limbs don’t seem to want to respond to his brain anymore. But then his adrenaline kicks in as he scans the lake in front of him. As soon as he spots Kili he begins to wade towards him until the bottom of the lake starts to disappear from under his feet and he struggles the final few feet towards his beloved through the broken ice. “Kili, I … I am here,” he stutters, his teeth chattering from the cold as he grabs hold of the youngster’s shirt and attempts to drag him into his arms.

Kili grabs onto his lovers shoulders for dear life " I can’t breath. It’s so cold," he stutters and can feel shooting pains through his back and has a gut dropping realisation. "My back, I can't swim!"

“Kili,” Thorin says harshly as his sweetheart threatens to pull the both of them under in his panic, “Kili, you must … calm down! Just calm! I will … get us … back.” And he wraps his forearm around Kili’s torso, pulling him back. “Trust me.”

Kili can't help let out an agonising scream as he is dragged through the water and his back is twisted. He continues to cling onto his beloved as they near the shore. "My back!" he cries as it is pulled particularly hard.

“F...Frerin!” Thorin calls out to his brother, feeling breathless from exertion and the icy cold. “Can … can you drag him out?” he pleads as he manages to drag the brunet within his brother’s reach.

Frerin Leans forward grabbing the brunet’s coat tight and pulling his onto the snow then turning around to face his brother and holding out his hand for him to take.

Thorin feels his feet slip on the muddy bottom of the lake as he takes his brother’s held out hand, letting him aid him back onto dry land, where he immediately scrambles to his feet and rushes over to Kili, who is lying in a shivering heap in the snow. “Kili, g … get up! Or you will freeze to death!” He grabs Kili under his arms and pulls him to his feet and sighs in relief as he watches his brother’s valets rush towards them with blankets.

Kili immediately begins to sob as he can feel the strain on his back " I can't stand, my back ..." he utters and can feel his feet begin to give out.

Thorin barely feels the cold in his own limbs as he wraps a blanket around Kili. “It’s alright,” he whispers, wishing to soothe his pain away. And he scoops Kili’s thin frame into his arms and begins to stumble towards the house. “Please … Frerin, he needs help …”

The blond gentleman rushes over to his brother with a blanket " give the boy to me, you need to be kept warm also" he says holding out his arms to take Kili.

Thorin hesitates for just a second, but then nods and hands his precious cargo carefully over into his brother’s arms. It is only then that he realises he is literally shaking from top to toe and he pulls the blanket closer around him as he hastily follows his brother inside.

Frerin is shocked to feel how little Kili weighs as he manages to easily carry him back towards the house " It’s okay lad" he says to the brunet as the walk further from the lake. It’s just then he notices his son sulking behind them " Fili hurry up" he snaps.

Fili is startled by his father’s harsh tone. He stares at all the commotion around him and throws daggers at both his uncle and father’s backs as they fuss over the servant boy. For a moment he thinks about throwing himself onto the ice to get the attention back, but he is too scared to drown to carry out that idle threat and equally he knows he should count himself lucky that at least uncle Thorin appears to have forgotten that he was the cause of the incident in the first place. Sulkingly he follows his elders back towards the house.

Frerin carefully lowers the skinny brunet onto the couch in front of the fire then turns to his brother pointing to the seat next to it " sit" he orders.

Thorin frowns at his brother and wants to splutter a retort, but finds that his teeth are chattering too violently to argue. “I’m c...cold,” he shivers as he sits by the fire.

Frerin  grabs another  blanket and wraps it around his brother. "We need to get you both out of your clothes" he says quietly so none of the staff can hear.

Thorin can feel his cheeks flush as throws a glance at Kili, but nods as the icy wet clothes are feeling very uncomfortable now. “Some privacy please?” he mumbles.

"Of course I'll get you both some dry clothes " he says and clears the room to give his brother some  privacy.

Thorin breathes a sigh of relief when the door falls shut and he promptly wraps his arm around Kili, but quickly take it back when the youngster cries out in pain. “Oh Kili, why did you go onto the ice!” he exclaims. “You stupid boy, you could have died! And now look at you!” he grabs Kili’s face between his large hands, both wanting to shake and kiss him all at once.

" Bombur ne... Needed help" Kili stutters trying to get to his feet but fail as pain instantly shoots through his body " I couldn't leave him there."

“I was so worried,” Thorin sighs and presses a soft fleeting kiss onto Kili’s lips. “Thank God you are safe, I would not bear the thought …” He stops his worried rant and a shiver runs through Kili. “You’re safe,” he whispers, brushing Kili’s cheek and the helps Kili take off his coat.

"I'll. I'll be fine " he says reassuring his lover as he assists him with undressing " Is Bombur okay?" He asks.

“He is,” Thorin smiles, “thanks to you. Although really I am so mad with you for putting yourself at such risk!” he continues to grumble as he helps Kili out of his wet clothes and although he tries his best to make this exactly what it is, a gesture to help his injured lover, he cannot help glancing at Kili’s youthful frame and soft skin, even as it has a blue tinge to it from the cold. And he hastily wraps the blanket back around him before he causes the both of them embarrassment as he proceeds to pull off his own shirt.

" I'm sorry I didnt mean to cause you any worry, I'll be OK just cold" he says trying to stop from shaking " and I'm sorry you had to come in after me" he says pulling the blanket tight around him.

Thorin snorts, suddenly realising how the whole thing must have looked from a bystander’s point of view. “I think my brother must think I am losing my mind,” he smirks as he turns to hide his modesty from Kili as he drops his breeches and cottons and wraps his own blanket around him, just as there is a knock on the door.

Frerin  opens the door with a change of clothing for them both and some brandy and pours his brother and the boy a large glass each.

“Thank you,” Thorin gratefully accept his glass. “I am fine,” he brushes Frerin away when he begins to fuss over him. “Please, can you look at Kili’s back?”

Frerin walks over to the boy and pulls up the blankets examining the bandages and frowns " Thorin how long have these bandages been like this?" he asks a little troubled by the amount of dried blood.

Thorin tries to remember the order of events. “I took him to hospital on Saturday morning.” He hesitates for a second before he explains when he noticed the bleeding - he can hardly say _last night when he lay in my bed!_ “He hurt his back again late last night,” he says carefully as he turns from his brother to put on the freshly laundered clothes he had brought them. “I think that must be when the wounds opened up again.”

Frerin looks at his patient who is clinging tight to the blankets "Young man, I need to get these bandages off as soon as possible , I'm not going to lie it’s going to hurt I need you to stay as still as possible" he informs the boy who clings on to his blanket tighter and shakes his head.

Thorin finishes his buttons and steps over to Kili. “You need to let my brother look at your back, sw... Kili.” He turns to his brother. “Frerin, this is ehm … quite delicate. Would you mind just giving us a moment as I help Kili into a more modest position?”

Frerin frowns he wants to argue but in the end reluctantly agrees " I' ll wait in the corridor" he says leaving the room.

"Kili, Frerin will not do you harm. And I will be right here. Come, let's get your cottons on and then I'll help you onto your front onto the sofa and put the blanket over you."

Kili hesitates " Will you stay with me?" He asks allowing his lover to slip his cottons over this feet, and wrapping the blanket more around his torso.

"Course I will," Thorin reassures his sweetheart and kisses his hand as he carefully helps him to his feet and guides him over to the sofa. "My brother will make you better, I promise. Can I call him back in?" he asks as he drapes the blanket over Kili.

Kili nods burying his face into the arm of the sofa with a mixture of shame and fear at the blonde gentleman seeing his black and blue bruised body still showing the marks of abuse.

When Thorin opens the door to let his brother back in he frowns when he finds his nephew grinning back at him. "I don't think Fili needs to see this," he says to his brother through gritted teeth.

Frerin can see his brothers annoyance " It is a good learning curve for him to assist me, for his doctors training " he replies and pushes past his brother.

Fili struts in after his father like a peacock so proud as he reverently carries his father's black instrument bag which he always carries with him everywhere. He lets out a gasp as his father pulls the blanket off the brunet boy’s back, revealing dark stained bandages wrapped around his torso. “What has happened to him?!” he exclaims, looking at his father.

Kili can feel himself begin to tense up. "It’s none of your goddamn business" he snarls trying to get up, but only causing himself more pain as he let's out a cry.

Thorin could slap his brother for his stupid idea to bring Fili into this, but he needs his help and holds his tongue. Instead he walks up to the sofa and kneels by his lover’s head. “Kili,” he says semi-sternly as he knows his brother will expect some sort of reprimand for the way Kili has spoken to his son, “don’t be rude. My brother and nephew are here to help you.”

Frerin looks at his brother and frowns at how little he seemed to care about the rudeness aimed at his son. "I need you to hold him while i examine his back" he orders as he begins to unravel the bandages, with a pang of guilt as it pulled at the boys skin causing him to flinch.

Thorin grabs Kili’s wrists. “I am sorry you have to go through this again,” he says softly to the brunet. “I need you to be brave again, as you were in the hospital. You can do that, m..Kili,” he manages to swallow anything inappropriate he was about to say.

The brunet can feel tears roll down his face and nods as he looks up at his lover."Yes, sir," he sobs as Thorin's brother continues tug at the bandages and he buries his face again trying to muffle his cries

“What is going on?!” Fili squeaks as his view is obscured by his father and uncle. He feels excited and anxious all at once; he never gets to see his dad at work and nothing like this ever happens at their home back in Manchester.

Frerin turns to his son " Philip, I will need you to go and get some hot water from the kitchen get them to boil it and add salt lots of salt to the water, and get as much alcohol as you can then come back to me"

Fili nods, grateful to have been given a task to do as he had felt like a spare wheel whilst his elders were helping the servant boy, and he runs off to do as his father had asked.

Frerin slowly undoes the bandages cursing London hospitals and their lack of knowledge and gasping as he sees the full extent of the damage " I’m surprised he's still walking " he states in horror " it’s the worst I have seen" he admits examining the wounds more closely.

Thorin is struggling to keep his composure, he feels like he has forgotten how he would react if this truly was just a servant to him. “Just do what you need to do,” he begs his brother.

“I got what you asked for, father!” Fili comes running in, two servants in tow with the salt water and alcohol as requested.

Kili tries to move at the sound of all the commotion but Thorin grabs hold of him tight " Please I don't want everyone to see, to know' he begs trying to move again with no more success.

“Put the bowl and the bottles on the table,” Thorin orders the servants, with a growl in his voice. “Then be on your way.”

Fili stands on his toes as he peeks at what is happening with the servant boy. He gasps when he sees the deep gashes in Kili’s skin. “How did he get those?!” he asks, mouth open in shock.

Kili tries to get off the sofa " I will not lie here to be gawped at like its some kind of show" he thunders trying to pull his wrists free.

" Remember who you serve boy" Frerin snaps feeling his anger rise. "Control your servant," he orders his brother with a glare.

Thorin gives her younger brother an equally angry glare in return. _You challenge the way my lover behaves when he is writhing in pain? I challenge the way your son thinks this is all just an exciting game!_ But he knows he cannot say it and he knows he should do as his brother says. “Kili!” he reprimands with pain in his heart. “My family is trying to help you, you will do well to show some respect.” _I am sorry, my love, I know you are in pain. Please try and help yourself here._

Kili can feel his face flush with embarrassment and he tries to pull the blanket further over his body so as little skin as possible is on show. "Make him go away please," he pleads with lover quietly.

“Just concentrate on the alphabet,” Thorin says quietly, his gaze never wavering from his brother’s face.

“Father,” Fili asks again, this time more urgently, “why is the boy hurt? Did it happen on the ice?” he adds nervously, worried he might be responsible for the brunet’s pain. He does not like the other teenager who keeps stealing his uncle’s attention away, but equally he had not intended for him to get hurt so badly.

Frerin can see the worry on his sons face and puts a hand on his shoulder and gives it reassuring squeeze " You are not responsible, don't worry" he smiles as he can see relief wash over the blond’s face. "They are whip marks " he explains putting a cloth into the salty water.

" You have no right to tell him that " Kili thunders trying to get up and glaring at his lover when he continues to keep hold of him and tries to pull his hands free.

Thorin can see the anguish in his lover’s eyes. “Damn it, Frerin,” he snarls at his brother under his breath. “Does Fili really need to see this? Can’t you see how upsetting this is for him?”

" Fili needs to learn" he snaps getting annoyed at the brunets pure lack of manners " now keep the boy still he orders as the brunet continues to wiggle.

If it was not for the fact that he needs his brother’s expertise right now Thorin would have shouted at the both of them to get out of his face. But he bites his tongue and concentrates on his lover. “Kili, you are doing well,” he says soothingly. “Just hold real still and it will all be over soon.”

The brunet nods as the blond haired gentleman cleans his wounds with the salty water which makes his eyes water as it sinks into his wounds and stings and reaches for his lovers hand, grabbing the arm last minute knowing that he cannot . “Hurts" is all he can say.

“I know,” Thorin says softly as he tightens his grip on Kili’s wrists. “You are doing very well.”

Frerin can feel his patient shaking  underneath his hands and feels sorry for the pain he is causing the teen He wipes over the last wound with the salt solution then looks up at his brother. "He will need stitches on at least three of these, quite possibly more," he says and feels a shudder of fear run through youth’s body.

Thorin swallows hard but nods. “Is that something you can do here?”

Frerin smiles. "I can do the stitches here, why do you think I asked for alcohol? We will need to give some to the boy as anaesthetic to numb the pain," he informs his brother.  

“Good god,” Thorin whispers under his breath, thinking he could do with some of that himself and all. Instead he focuses on his beloved. “Kili, I need you to drink this,” he pours a glass of neat absinthe for him, a quantity of twice what he had given him the previous night and which is sure to numb his senses for a while at least.

Kili takes the green drink and downs it in one, feeling hurt at how little control of the situation. "Can I have some more please?" he asks, wanting to take away all memory of what  had happen and was still to come.

Thorin looks at his brother. “Would that be okay?”

“As much as he wants " Frerin says, threading the needle.

Pouring him another generous glass of the spirit, Thorin holds it out to Kili, squeezing his other arm in reassurance. “Drink up,” he smiles, although there is only sadness behind the smile.

Kili gulps the substance down, he can feel himself getting light headed and can't help smiling at his lover. _You look beautiful when you worry,_ he thinks.

Thorin gives an unsure smile back. “You will do fine.” _My brave beloved._ And he braces himself for his brother’s needlework.

“What are you doing, dad?” Fili asks, standing on tiptoes to see better. But as he catches a glimpse of the needle threading through the open wounds, he pales and suddenly feels wobbly on his feet. "That's gross!” the youngster utters in disgust, putting his hands in front of his mouth feeling like he might throw up.

“Fili, enough!” Thorin finally snaps as he can see Kili cringe. “You stay, you are quiet so that your father can work, is that understood?”

Fili looks at his uncle in shock. His father never raises his voice at him, never tells him off, and it makes him nervous when uncle Thorin does so. And he nods quietly, pursing his lips together, but not daring to look at what his father is doing to the boy’s back as it is making him feel sick. And he suddenly feels very worried about the prospect of becoming a doctor and having to do something as horrible as that.

Frerin fixes his eyes on the boys back and sews neat small stitches trying to ignore the teens cries of pain knowing that it may be painful now but will be worth it in the end.

Kili squeezes his lovers hands tight as he can feel the needle piercing his skin, even though he had the alcohol the pain was still excruciating and he brings his hand to his face and bites down on it to stop himself from screaming.

"There all done" Frerin declares putting down the needle, after what must have been but a few minutes but has felt like hours to all in the room. Both Kili and Thorin breathe a sigh of relief and Fili carefully opens one eye.

“You have done so well,” Thorin says to Kili and then looks at his brother. “Thank you, Frerin.”

The younger man looks on as he watches his brother and his servant and can't help but worry _There acting more like friends than Master and Servant_ He thinks “You’re welcome " he says still watching them with concern. Thorin has obviously got close to the boy. _Too close_ he decides to let it pass for now but decides to keep a close watch on his brother and his servant.

 


	33. Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili, Frerin and Ori written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin, Fili and Jack written by LadyLuna

Kili knocks on his lovers door when he receives confirmation to come in he slowly enters shutting the door behind him. "Good morning " he says in greeting and smiles as he sees his lover sat at the writing desk reading papers and walks over wrapping his arms around his shoulders placing a kiss to his cheek.

"Good morning, " Thorin smiles back. "You are in a good mood this morning!"

"Well life’s good, I’m in a beautiful house, I'm with the man I love. Yes, I'm in the best mood" Kili says happily.

Thorin wraps his arm around Kili's hips and he rests his head briefly against his beloved’s stomach. "That's good. I like  to see you happy. How is your back this morning?"

"Feels so much better," Kili says moving his back. "Your brother really does work miracles," he smiles leaning forward to give Thorin a kiss.

"Yes he's an exceptional doctor," Thorin accepts the brief kiss then gets to his feet. "I must apologise for Fili's curiosity yesterday, when Frerin was attending your back," he sighs. "My brother wants him to become a doctor like him. He's a good boy really, Kili, don't be too harsh in your judgement. He's just a little... uncontrolled at times. But I would really like you to get on."

The brunet wants to argue that the boy is a rich bully but holds his tongue. He looks into his lover's eyes and can see how much he cares for his nephew and lets out a huge sigh. "I will try for you," he replies. _There is no way me and that rich boy are ever going to get on_ he thinks silently and walks over to the hearth where he bends down to build a fire.

Thorin watches the handsome brunet for a few moments, content with his decision to make him his personal assistant regardless of what his brother had said. He likes having Kili around and he thinks that once Kili actually knows what is expected from him he'll do a good job of it. "I want to go to town later this morning, " he says to the young man as he stokes up the fire ready for him to get changed. "I still have  a few things I'd like to buy for Christmas and I have promised Frerin to take them to the tea house  for lunch. Frances loves the quaint little village shops," he repeats his brother's words. "She's only ever lived in the city.”

"Sounds good. Did you want me to come?" Kili asks smiling.

"Yes I would like you to come," Thorin confirms, although with an edge of sadness he clarifies, "as my valet. You will travel together with my brother's staff in the second carriage."

Kili can't help but feel disappointed. "Okay." He moves to the wardrobe to try and hide his disappointment and starts looking at his lovers clothes. "Was there anything you wanted to wear today in particular?" he asks in a quiet voice.   

Thorin walks up to his lover and wraps his arms around him,  pressing a kiss on his neck. "Don't be sad, " he whispers softly. "We'll have lots of time together when we're back in London. Okay?"

Kili nods still feeling a little sad but tries to hide it. "I know I can't be selfish and need to share you." _I just dont want to,_ he adds in his head, pulling out a pair of black boot-like shoes.

"Not in everything, " Thorin winks at him. "There are some things that are just for you, " and he brushes his thumb over Kili's soft lips. Turning to the wardrobe he shrugs. "Something not too formal. Maybe a tweed suit. That soft grey one? Pick something  you think looks nice, I don't mind."

Kili begins to look through all of the suits. _There are so many!_ he thinks, astounded. He spots a navy tweed suit and smiles, pulling it out to view better. "I dont think I have seen you in navy before. I think you will look quite handsome," he beams laying it out on the bed with a white shirt.

Thorin looks at Kili in surprise. "You actually have quite an eye for this," he compliments and watches with pride as Kili starts to prepare his wash bowl and shaving equipment. "Did Balin teach you all this?"

Kili nods. "But I'm not shaving you," he says, making it clear. "I will cut your face and it’s so beautiful, shame to wreck it," he jokes.

"I am not sure that I should trust you with any sharp instruments anyway, " Thorin teases him, caressing his youthful stubble and he takes the prepared blade from his lover to complete his grooming.

"I wouldn’t," Kili laughs. "I've never even shaved myself," he admits watching his lover with fascination.

"You are so adorably cute," Thorin grins as he rinses the blade in the ceramic bowl.

"Are you flirting with me, sir?" Kili asks grinning.

Thorin pulls his most stoic face. "I would never. What a preposterous accusation, Mr Durin." But his bright blue eyes are sparkling with glee.

"Well, I guess you wouldn't want me to do this," the brunet purrs, kissing Thorin’s neck. "Or this" he adds pinching his bum playfully.

Thorin yelps. "Why, Mr Durin,  that is indeed most inappropriate behaviour! " he chuckles, much to Kili's delight. Just as he reaches forward to give Kili a taste of his own medicine there is a knock on the door and they both immediately freeze.

"I am not ready," Thorin says to Kili, quickly falling back into his role as master. "Whoever it is, tell them to go away, " he orders him.

The brunet opens the door to see Thorin’s brother stood there with a frown on his face. "Good morning, sir. Mr Oakenshield is not ready yet, sir," he says, smiling politely as Frerin continues to frown at him.

"Good morning, Mr Durin. How long will your master be?" Frerin asks reminding the brunet of his place. Concern floods over him at what he had just heard. _Disgraceful servants should not be giggling with their masters!_ he thinks but bites his tongue _._

Kili turns to face Thorin. " Sir, it’s your brother. He would like to know how long you will be? " he says relaying the message to his love.

"Goodness Frerin! " Thorin calls out from inside the room. "Since when did you get up so early? Did you wet the bed?!"

Kili can feel a grin appear on his face which he quickly tries to hide with his hand. _Do not laugh, do not laugh,_ he repea _ts_ over and over in his head.

Frerin feels anger at his brother spread over his body. _He has no right embarrassing me in front of the boy, how dare he!  "_ Fili is excited about going into town," he snaps.

Thorin appears in the doorway smiling brightly as Kili wisely takes a step back. "Good, as am I, brother. But as you can see I am not yet dressed, " he indicates to his chamber coat. "Give me half an hour and I'll be down. In the meantime get Balin to ensure breakfast is served." He pats his brother on the shoulder.

"Well hurry up," Frerin snaps, giving the teenager one last glare then thundering down the hall.

Kili looks at Thorin with confusion. "What did I do?" he asks.

Thorin shakes his head. “I have no idea. He clearly got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.” And he steers Kili back inside to help him get ready.

 

+++

 

After Thorin and his family have finished breakfast Kili follows them to the carriages, keeping behind as was expected of a servant, holding Thorin’s hat and gloves.

"Sir would you like your gloves on?" he asks quietly giving Frerin an uneasy look.

"Thank you, Kili," Thorin smiles accepting the garments.

"Uncle, uncle, " Fili promptly threads his arm through Thorin's, as if marking his territory. "Will we go to the toy shop? Can I sit next to you in the carriage?"

"Course you can, " Thorin ruffles his blond’s hair. "And we can go wherever you like. If you are good of course, " he adds sternly.

Kili can feel a stab of jealousy and looks at the floor, not wanting to look at the scene. "Sir, did you need anything else," he asks looking at his feet.  

"No," Fili answers for his uncle. "And you get to sit in the second carriage," he orders Kili.

Thorin frowns at his nephew. "I think I can answer my own valet, Fili, " he reprimands the blond boy, whilst  throwing Kili a warning look not to rise to it. "And Mr Durin knows which carriage is his to take, but thank you for clarifying."

Fili throws the brunet a smug look, before he climbs into the coach.

 _Stupid childish idiot,_ Kili curses the blond. He can hear his teeth grinding and instantly tries to stop himself. “Is there anything else to you need, sir?" he asks through gritted teeth.

"No thank you," Thorin gives him a curt smile and he follows his family into the carriage.

Kili lets out a sigh then gets into the second with Frerin's servants and looks out the carriage window quietly lost in his own thoughts. The other two valets and the lady’s maid seem as content to ignore him as he is to ignore them, which suits him just fine as he is in no mood to make idle conversation with any of them.

As soon as the carriages begins to move Fili is on his feet, excitement racing through him. “How long is it to the village, father?”

Frerin smiles. "Not long, son." Then he turns to his brother "Your valet has a bit of an attitude on him," he comments.

“Pardon?” Thorin raises an eyebrow at his brother.

"Your valet has a bit of a temper on him, I have noticed," he says, seeing the annoyance in his brother’s eyes.

Thorin is absolutely stunned by the accusation, which appears to have come completely out of the blue. “I think he has been perfectly courteous considering the way the way your son has spoken to him and my other servants.” He turns to Fili. “Sit down, Fili, or we will not be going to any toy shop,” he says in an even tone, but one that no-one would dare argue with.

The blond boy stares at him in awe and immediately takes a seat again. His uncle’s deep voice scares the hell out of him. “Yes, uncle Thorin,” he says softly, shuffling his feet.

“Good boy,” Thorin nods and then turns his gaze back to his brother, narrowing his eyes at him. “Exactly which incident are you referring to, Frerin?”

"There are quite a few actually. The look he gave Fili when he got in the carriage, and the way he snapped at him yesterday. But the worst being when he shouted at him his the first day. He should of been punished for that, but instead you treat him as a friend," Frerin growls.

Thorin flushes as he realises Frerin had been informed of the incident with the bauble and looks at Frances, who is staring purposefully at her gloves. “I think this is neither the time nor place to have this conversation,” he snaps at his brother. “If you wish to question how I manage and discipline my staff then you will do so in a more appropriate setting, brother, not in front of a lady or a juvenile.” And he turns his head briskly and stares out of the window.

Frerin stares at his brother. "This is not over," he says angrily and looks out the other window at the winter scenery.

Thorin holds his tongue for the sake of his sister-in-law, but is relieved when they arrive at their destination and away from the tense air inside the carriage. Fili flies out of the carriage as they have barely come to a hold, grabbing Thorin’s hand and dragging him towards the nearest shop.

Kili gets out of the carriage doing up his coat. He looks around the little village and can't help but smile. _I’m home,_ he thinks, excitement creeping in. He hears a voice behind him call his name and whizzes around to see his old friend beaming at him from across the square. "Ori!" he shouts, running across the square and embracing his friend in a tight hug.

"I heard you went to London, but Christ you look like a pampered rich boy!" Ori jokes, taking in his friend’s smart appearance.

Kili laughs. "I know, I look ever so handsome," he jokes, realising how much he has missed his friend.

"So who did you nick the togs off?" Ori asks, examining the coat. "God, this must be worth a pretty penny," he says the, notices the hat. "Jesus, you even got a snob’s hat."

Kili laughs. "It's my uniform," he beams as his friend inspects the suit. "I work for Mr Oakenshield now. As his valet," he explains.

“I can't believe it! Thief turned posh servant,” Ori says, astounded and offers his friend a smoke while they catch up.

Thorin has let himself be dragged to the window of the toy shop that Fili had been going on about. As his nephew has his nose pressed up against the window, eyeing the miniature locomotive running round and round through a winter wonderland display, he throws a cursory glance back to find Kili, only to find his brother scowling back at him.

"Your servant has run off," he says coolly, pointing to the youth across the square.

Thorin sighs as he sees Kili talking to another boy of perhaps a year or so older than him and can guess he must be one of Kili’s old friends. He is tempted to remind Frerin that he is still his older brother and that if he continues to wind him up like that he will put him on his backside. But he takes a deep breath and decides to behave like a gentleman. “Fili, would you like to have a look inside?” he asks his nephew, ignoring his brother’s stare for the moment.

The blond nods eagerly and Thorin thinks how young he acts compared to Kili. They are literally months apart in age and yet Fili, having lived his protected, pampered life, acts more like a thirteen, perhaps fourteen year old, whereas Kili, especially after what he had recently come to endure, is much more mature than his real age now - well, at least some of the time.

They enter the busy toyshop and immediately Fili is off, plucking things of the stacked shelves.

As soon as he is out of earshot, Thorin turns himself abruptly towards his younger brother. “What is your problem?” he snarls. “Why are you so preoccupied with what my valet does?”

"Because it is not proper,” Frerin says softly. "He is your servant and not a good one at that. He acts more like a street rat.Thorin, he is not Aidan."

Thorin feels his heart freeze over at his brother’s remark about his son. “How dare you,” he hisses. “I know very well what Kili is to me and do not ever bring my son into your accusations again!”

"People talk, brother. Everyone is saying your relationship with the boy is not right. I'm just concerned," the blond man snaps, his anger flaring."The boy is useless. There must be some reason you keep him around"

“I have already told you why I hired the boy and you have seen with your own eyes what he has suffered,” Thorin growls back. “Who is saying my relationship with him is not right other than you?” he narrows his eyes at his brother, keeping his voice low.

Frerin glares at Thorin. "I've heard whispers all over the manor," he says concerned . "I feel for the boy, I do,  but he should be cleaning out stables not be your own personal assistant. He is the ad same age as your nephew, it is odd."

Thorin stares at his brother and bites his lip. He knows his younger brother makes some valid points. And whilst he thought he and Kili had been discreet since their return to Erebor Hall, he is now concerned that they clearly haven't been discreet enough. At least the lie would be better than the truth. “Perhaps you are right,” he sighs. “I will admit I do feel a certain responsibility for him. He is practically an orphan, even if his father is still alive. Am I such a bad person for wanting to see him do well, when I never had the chance to see Aidan grow up?”

Frerin feels his anger disappear at his brother’s sad face. "You are not a bad person, brother, but he is not your responsibility. You kept your promise to his mother," he says putting his hand on his shoulder. "Do you really think he can be a good valet to you?" he asks.

“His father is a barrister, Frerin,” Thorin says as he watches Fili grab yet another box from the shelves. “He may deny his son and I may wish the man into an early grave, but it does mean Kili is a gentleman’s son. I know he is young and has a lot to learn but he is very bright. I want to give him a chance. He has only been working for me for just over a month.” _Technically not even that, but let’s not make this sound worse than it is!_ “If things do not improve come spring, I will rethink,” he says to satisfy his brother’s nerves. “Now if you will excuse me please,” he pushes past Frerin and exits the shop, aware he has to put his words into action now to make his little monologue believable. He almost bumps into Frances, who is patiently waiting with her lady’s maid for the men to return, and mumbles a quick apology to her before storming over to Kili, grabbing him by the arm. “What the hell do you think you are doing?” he snarls at the youngster.  

" I... I was," he stutters when he realises his mistake and looks at the floor feeling his face flush red. "I’m sorry, sir," he apologises as Ori runs off down a near by alleyway.

"You wish to visit your friends,  you will do so in your own time after you've sought my permission. I am not paying you to chat to some streetkid or for you to embarrass me in front of my family, " Thorin growls as he tightens his grip on Kili's arm, squeezing bruises into his skin.

Kili can feel tears sting the corner of his eyes at the tight painful grip on his arm." Yes, sir. It won't happen again, sir," he promises, embarrassment creeping up in him as passers begin to stare as he looks anywhere but at his angry lover.

"No it will not," Thorin says harshly but he loosens his grip a little. He is not exactly angry with Kili. He is frustrated with the whole situation - with the complications of class and sexual preference that stop either of them from living the life they want. And he wonders if there will ever be a time or place where he and Kili could openly love each other. "You can visit your friend before we go back to London," he promises in a low voice for only Kili to hear.  

Kili nods again " Thank you" he replies quietly, still  shaking all over but feeling a little calmer in himself. Thorin’s temper had always brought him to a nervous wreck and even though their situation had changed he thinks he might always fear his lover’s temper a little.

"Stay with the other servants," Thorin orders as he strides back to the little toy shop.

Kili lets out a sigh then walks over to Frerin's valet who is eying him with disgust. _Sod off,_ he thinks angrily while watching his lover as he enters a shop.

"You don't exactly make things easy for yourself," the second man, the one who appears  to be the boy's personal servant, says quietly, much to Kili's surprise. None of the guest servants had spoken to him up till now. "My name's Jack, " the man nods to the youngster, keeping his eyes on the shop, waiting to be called.

"I am Kili," he says holding out his hand which the man ignores. "I'm fairly new at the valet thing," he admits.

"We know," Frerin's valet, the older of the two men, says coolly.

Jack gives a faint smile. "It is rather obvious," he says. "For a start you are the youngest valet I have seen by at least twenty years."

Kili begins to shuffle his feet nervously " Well yes, I suppose I am fairly young," he admits feeling unprepared for the older man’s questioning.

"We've all wondered why Mr Oakenshield decided to employ you."

"Jack!" the other man snaps and he nods towards the door of the shop, where young Fili had appeared. "Stop gossiping and go help Master Fili with his purchases."

Kili watches as the valet called Jack rushes over to his master. "What is your name, sir?  I don't think I caught it," he asks Frerin's valet.

"Mister Stewart to you, boy," the older man says curtly before turning in his heels to assist his master.

 _Snobby ass,_ Kili thinks then spots his lover and slowly approaches him. "Is there anything you need help with, sir?" he asks a little wearily, remembering his anger minutes before.

“Take this," Thorin hands Kili two large boxes. "And take them to the carriage." As soon as he's off loaded his burden he turns his back on Kili. It is killing him distancing himself from the young man he loves but he knows if they are to get through these next few days he needs to start playing by the rules. "Let's go to the tea shop as promised," he smiles to his sister-in-law. "Get out of the cold for a while." And he offers Frances his arm as they make their way further into town.

Kili does as he is told and makes his way back to the carriage. _I hate this,_ he thinks as he carefully places the boxes where Jack is putting his young master’s. "So how long have you been the young master’s valet? " he asks.

"Not that long," Jack answers. "Only when Master Fili turned sixteen in September.  "I was Doctor Oakenshield's footman before." He looks at the brunet boy.  "And you?"

 _"_ Just over a month," he lies knowing if he admits that it has been under a week it will cause suspicion.

Jack nods. "So how are you finding it? Must be tough being as young as you are. Where did you work before?" he asks, checking over his shoulder whether Mr Stewart is paying them any attention.#

" I was brought up here living on the estate. My mother worked for Mr Oakenshield and died just over a month ago and Mr Oakenshield kindly took me on as his valet. It is taking some getting used to," he admits, sticking to the story him and Thorin had come up with if he was questioned.

Jack raises a surprised eyebrow. "That's an important role for someone with hardly any experience," he remarks,but asks no more. "So you and my master have had a few altercations already."

Kili laughs. "Yes you could say I don't think we are not going to be the best of friends!" _That’s if I don't end up tanning his rich backside before the end of this_ _week,_ he adds silently.

Jack smiles, but does not comment. An important aspect of being a valet is to remain confidential and he will not speak out of turn against his young master even though he knows full well the young man has some attitude problems - but then again no more so than most rich kids he's worked for. "Do you want to grab a coffee whilst Mr Oakenshield entertains his guests?" he asks.

"Sure, that would be nice," he smiles at the other valet and leads the way to a little coffee shop. "So how do you like Erebor hall?” he asks.

"It's big," Jack smiles as he orders them both a coffee. "Doctor Oakenshield's place in Manchester is big for the city, but nothing like this! Did I hear you say you decorated it for Christmas?"

Kili smiles. "Well, me and Maurice, one of the other servants sons," he explains. "Mr Oakenshield doesn't normally decorate but gave me permission this year."

"Well, I think that that was wise  of Mr Oakenshield, young man," Jack smiles broadly. "I think it looks fantastic. Like the pictures you see in books!"

Kili can feel himself blush at the compliment. "Thank you. I had never decorated for Christmas before," he admits taking a sip out of the steaming hot cup of coffee. "It’s very odd seeing so many staff around. Before my mother passed there was only her and Mr Balin."

"To run such a big household?!" Jack exclaims.  "That's impossible!"

"Well they did," Kili laughs. " Tho.. Mr Oakenshield used to spend so much time in London there wasn't actually much to do," he says hoping the other man hadn't picked up on the fact that he had nearly called his master by his first name and takes another huge gulp, _Shut up Kili!_ he scolds himself.

"He's a barrister, right? " Jack enquires.

"Yes he is," Kili replies, wondering why he had asked.

Jack nods. "Bet he's good at that. I wouldn't argue with him. If he had me in the docks I would spill all my dirty secrets! " he winks at the youngster.

"Me in all! He scares the life out of me sometimes," he admits, "but most time he is fairly easy going.

Jack sits back sipping his drink for a moment. "So I hear there's a party tonight. For the serving staff. As we'll all be working Christmas Eve and Day."

Kili smiles at Jack. He had suggested the idea to Thorin who had loved it. "Yes, Mr Oakenshield has gone all out as well and hired carol singers and a few musicians."

"Sounds good!" Jack grins. "We'll get to party like the rich folk! " he jests. "Will Mr Oakenshield be there?"

"I think so," Kili replies. "How about your master, will he make merry with servants? I know everyone is welcome '' he says.  

"I doubt it, " Jack shrugs. "to be honest I'd rather he weren't. " He flushes when he realises how that sounds and quickly adds, "Parties when the boss is around are never as much fun!"

Kili laughs. "Between you and me, I would rather your master wasn't either," he admits in a low voice looking around to see if anyone had heard them.

Jack looks at the clock above the bar. "I suppose we'd better head back," he says, finishing his coffee. "See if we're needed for anything else. Was kind of hoping we'd get a few hours off this afternoon."

"Yeah would be nice. It’s beautiful around here," he agrees as they head back towards the carriages.


	34. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin, Balin, Jack, Martha - Lady Luna 
> 
> Kili- Witchesdelite

Kili sits up straight as a board as Thorin combs through his hair. "You look lush,," the older man strokes through the strands. "I wish I could have you on my arm tonight."

Kili giggles. "Why, thank you. It's amazing what one of your suits does to my appearance. Get to make posh tonight!”

Thorin snorts. "It's not what my suit does for you, it's what you do for the suit! You can make a rag look fabulous!" And he presses a soft kiss on Kili’s hair, breathing in his scent.

Kili begins to blush. "Well, I think you look devilishly handsome too. So handsome in fact I don’t think I'm going to be able to take my eyes off you all night," he purrs, moving his hand to brush against Thorin’s trouser leg.

Thorin groans softly. "Don't tease, " he says in a husky voice. "I cannot face my guests all hot and sweaty. And in other ways inconvenienced ..." He blushes as he gently pushes Kili’s hand away. He puts the brush down and smiles softly at Kili. "I'm sorry about earlier, " he brushes his hand over the brunet’s cheek. "In town … I did not mean to get so angry with you."

"It's okay. I should not have acted like that. I just got excited to see Ori, that's all," he says fiddling with his sleeve.

"I understand," Thorin takes his hand. "I am sorry that I've taken you away from your friends. I'm very aware how lonely you must feel when we're in London."

Kili looks at his lover shocked. "Ori is my only friend down here and last time I saw him before today I hit him because he made me drop your medicines," he laughs. " I'd much rather be with you love." he says kissing his cheek.

“Oh my sweetheart,” Thorin smiles, pulling Kili close as kissing him long and deep. “You are too good for me,” he says.

"We’re good for each other," he says cupping his face, "I would still be at Madam Molly’s if it wasn't for you," he says truthfully.

Thorin averts his eyes, not comfortable with that subject. “Frerin made an interesting comment today …” he says softly as he walks up to the window and stares out into the night.

" Oh really what was that?" Kili asks looking at his lover’s back, whilst trying to flatten his hair which was already trying to bounce back to the usual uncontrollable mess .

“He said he felt we were too close. That I was not behaving appropriately around you, which initially worried me.” He turns back to Kili and smiles a little sadly. “But it was not quite as I expected. He seems to think I see you as my son.”

Kili can feel his jaw drop. "He thinks you see me as a son? That's crazy!” he says shocked at the blonde gentleman’s suggestion.

Thorin chuckles. “Why, yes, but probably better than him knowing the truth.” He grins a cheeky grin at Kili. “I did not tell him you were my lover, in case you were wondering …”

Kili laughs " Yes he probably would not approve of you taking a servant as your love, even if I was a girl" he says sadly.

“Most definitely he would not,” Thorin agrees. “Anyhow, I think you had best head down now. Would not want to leave your guests waiting, sir,” he winks.

"Do you think I could pass as a gentleman?” Kili asks, looking in Thorin’s full length mirror nervously fiddling with his blazer.

“The most handsome gentleman I know,” Thorin smiles. “Now go and have fun,” he playfully slaps his young lover’s backside. “I will be down in a little while.”

"Sir," Kili says in mock horror, "I don’t think I’m drunk enough to allow that behaviour! I am a gentleman, I will have you know," he jokes then blows his love a kiss and makes his way down to the entrance.

Kili looks around the crowded entrance hall. Jesus, I didn't realise Thorin hired this many people, he thinks feeling suddenly nervous. He makes his way over to a massive buffet table and picks up a sticky type of bun and starts scanning the room.

He watches as people dance merrily and suddenly wonders if Thorin can dance. I bet he can and looks beautiful doing it, he thinks and can't help let out a chuckle as he notices Balin dancing with an grey haired women. Sly fox, he thinks smiling at the happy look on his face.

Just then he notices a dark haired young woman, whom he recognises as the maid from the bedroom on the first day, watching him. "Hello," he says politely, wondering why she is looking at him.

“Hello Mr Durin,” she smiles shyly, taking a step closer and twiddling with her skirts.

Kili shifts uncombable he cannot get used to being called mister all the time. "Please, it’s Kili," he says kindly "What is your name?'  
“Martha,” she says softly, looking down. She bites her lip and looks back up through her eyelashes. “It is very kind of the master to organise this for his staff.”

"He’s a good man," Kili smiles trying to keep the fondness out of his voice. "You look pretty," he says politely. His mother had taught him you should always tell a lady who was dressed up that she looks pretty.

The dark haired girl blushes and averts her eyes. “Thank you … Kili. You look very handsome too.”

" Thank you it’s...new," he says nearly slipping up and telling her it was one of Thorin’s suits.

“It looks very nice on you,” Martha smiles and shuffles her feet.

Kili smiles back and begins looking at the decorations. After a couple of seconds he begins to shuffle his feet also, feeling uncomfortable with the awkward silence between them. "So erm, have you got family working here or is it just you?" he asks unsure what to say to the young woman.

“Just me,” the girls responds quietly. She had hoped the handsome boy would ask her to dance, but he does not appear to make a move and she turns to walk off.

“Well well, Martha, you look radiant tonight,” Balin, who has finished his dance and is catching a breath, beams at the young woman.

The dark-haired girl giggles shyly. “Why, thank you Mr Stott,” she says softly, feeling her cheeks burn.

“Ah, and young master Kili!” the old butler, who is already a little merry, pats the brunet boy on the back. “Were you going to ask the pretty young lady to dance?” he softly pushes Kili forward in encouragement.

" I erm cannot dance," he admits quietly trying to wriggle himself away wishing to go back to the buffet table and just people watch, but the old butler clearly has other plans.

“Nonsense!” he exclaims, a little louder than his usual soft voice. “If an old goat such as I can dance than a lithe young man such as yourself can manage also. Here, let me show you.” And he offers his hand to Martha who giggles but takes it. And he promptly takes her into some simple dance steps. “See, as simple as that,” he calls back to Kili. “One, two, three, four, one, two, three, four. And turn!” And he twirls the dark-haired girl around. “There you see,” he beams at Kili and pushes the young man a little more forcefully towards the young girl this time. “You go.”

Kili nervously takes the teenage girls hand and tries to copy Balin but feels himself tripping over his own feet. "I’m sorry I'm not any good at this" he says to Martha giving a nervous laugh.

“I think you are doing fine,” Martha says encouragingly. Truth be told Kili really is making a mess of it, but she does not care. The young man is very handsome and sweet and the fact that he is dancing with her in the first place is enough. And she beams as she catched one of her girlfriends throw her a jealous frown.

Kili begins to copy her footsteps and after a couple of dances his body begins to relax and he can feel himself start to enjoy himself, picturing the young lady as his beloved.

Balin smiles is satisfaction at his successful matchmaking . He throws Kili a non too subtle thick wink before he turns to the buffet and begins to help himself to the food and more of the expensive wine that the master had purchased for tonight.

+++

Thorin looks at his pocket watch. Frerin had taken his wife and son out for the evening reminding him once more that it was not proper for masters to mix with their servants socially. But he had told him in return that neither was he going to leave his estate unattended whilst his staff were making merry, which finished the discussion. He had spent the first hour of the feast catching up on some paperwork, not wishing to impose himself on his staff whilst they were supposed to be relaxing and having fun. But he had promised Kili that he would make an appearance during the evening.

He smiles to himself as he closes his study behind him, imagining Kili having a nice time with his fellow servants, perhaps even making some new friends. He had meant what he had said to Kili earlier about thinking the young man must be lonely. However flattering it was to think that Kili would only need him, he knew like no other how unhealthy it was to lock yourself away from the rest of the world.

As he appears at the top of the stairs and looks down at the party going on downstairs he and smiles at the merriness of his staff, dancing and laughing, and he thinks once more what a nice idea of Kili this was. Regardless of what his brother thinks about class, he believes that treating his personnel to the occasional evening off like this will surely boost morale and in the long-term can only make for a happier and therefore more productive household. His eyes scan the room, looking for his young lover as he begins to descend the stairs.

His heart makes a little leap when he finally spots his handsome brunet. But immediately he feels a sharp pang stab at his heart. The boy is on the dance floor with one of the servant girls who he had seen giggling with her friends when they had first returned to Erebor. She is a pretty girl, he can see that even from where he is standing, and his eyes narrow further as he sees Kili’s hands lying on her waist. He tries hard to keep the deep frown from his face, but knows he is failing as he struggles to drag his gaze away from the offending picture before him. He makes to turn and creep back to his room as his jealousy eats at him, but he is stopped in his tracks by Fili’s valet.

“Good evening Mister Oakenshield,” the man, who must be close his own age, bows for him, throwing him a bright smile. “I must thank you for your kindness for this wonderful evening.”

Thorin smiles back kindly, waving his hand at the overly formal gesture. “Please, tonight no formalities. And it pleases me to see everyone enjoy themselves after the hard work all have put in for the Christmas celebrations,” he says the words that he is supposed to say, although his eyes are flitting towards the dancefloor.

Jack nods and looks into the grey blue eyes of the master of the house, so similar to his brother’s. But otherwise his features are quite different; darker, on the one hand more stern looking and yet there's a kindness behind his eyes and a warmth in his smile that Jack never sees Dr Oakenshield show his staff. “May I pour you a glass of wine, sir?” he offers the handsome gentleman, hoping to get to know the man a little better. From the moment he had laid eyes on the tall man who was his master’s uncle he had been fascinated by him.

Thorin hesitates just a moment but then takes the distraction gratefully. “That would be most welcome, Mr …”

“Jack. Please, just call me Jack,” the other man beams back at him with a handsome smile. “No formalities tonight,” he repeats the gentleman’s words back at him.

“Very well. Then I insist you call me Thorin tonight,” Thorin smiles a forced smile back as he follows the man towards the buffet table. He can’t help throw another look at Kili and the girl as he does so, his eyes flaming with a burning jealousy for his betrayal.

Kili looks around the room for his lover but has not spotted him yet, it had been a pleasant evening but he found he longed for his company and thought perhaps they could talk more freely as it was a party or even sneak off to a side room to dance now he had thought about it he longed to see his handsome lover dance.

Suddenly Kili can feel eyes boring into him and scans the room for the cause of his discomfort meeting the angry eyes of his lover and instantly lets go of the girl’s waist and starts to make his way through the bustle of people towards his love.

As soon as Kili’s eyes meet his Thorin pulls his gaze away and instead focuses them on the man handing him a glass of red of which he takes far too big a sip to be proper. He is aware the man called Jack is talking to him and he tries his best to smile and nod in the right places, but his mind is too preoccupied with the image of Kili and the girl whose name he does not know. He is startled back to reality when Jack holds out a smoking box to him. “Would you like a smoke, Thorin?” he asks and to his surprise Thorin can see a little glimmer in the man’s eyes, something that hints towards something more than just the kindness of a servant to his superiors. His instinct is to gracefully decline, but then the green poison of envy envelopes his heart again as he sees Kili talk to the pretty girl in the corner of his eyes. He smiles back at Jack, his gaze lingering for a moment on those sparkling eyes. “I would,” he says as he accepts one of the cigarettes that he is offered and leans in for the lit match that Jack holds out to him next.

 

Kili eventually manages to shrug the girl off and makes his way towards his lover through the crowded room and feels his heart stop as he sees his beloved leaning close to the talkative valet. He can feel his heart shatter as he hears his lover laugh at something the dark haired man had said and turns on his heel rushing towards the front door barging his way through the crowd and taking big gulps of air as he rushes into the cold night.

Thorin pours himself another glass of wine as he had finished the first rather quickly and offers his conversation partner a top up. Jack seems nice enough, but he stands here talking to him more to take his mind off Kili and his new flame and if he is honest with himself in a pathetic and childish display of what you can do, so can I. Talking about Kili … he looks around, but although he can see the pretty girl, who now stands talking to her friends, his brunet lover is no longer with them.

He jolts as there is a tap on his shoulder and as he turns round he finds Balin staring up at him. He throws his old friend a smile and grins at the redness in his nose which indicates he too has been rather frivolous with the wine tonight. “Mister Balin, it is good to see you making merry tonight.”

“Aye, sir,” the older man nods, “aye, it is. And you too, Thorin,” he slurs a little.

“Say ehm,” Thorin turns a little more from Jack and lowers his voice a little, “have you seen Kili recently?”

“Why yes, it is why I came to see you,” Balin nods and then hesitates as he seems to struggle to remember what he was going to say in the first place. “I think I saw him go outside …” He frowns at his own statement. “Although one would wonder what the boy would go out into the cold for at this time of night!”

“Indeed …” Thorin says as worry begins to fill him up. “Please excuse me,” he says to Jack and puts his glass hastily down on the table and hurries towards the front door. As soon as he steps outside the cold winter wind whips around his face and flecks of snow land on his nose. He narrows his eyes against the darkness spreading out in front of him and suddenly anxiety erupts inside him as he worries at what kind of trouble his young beloved has got himself this time. Momentarily his anger at Kili’s betrayal is replaced by his worry. “Kili?” he calls out softly into the night. When he gets no response he takes several steps into the darkness and repeats his call, louder and more urgently this time. “Kili?! Where are you?!”

Kili hears his lover’s calls and stays quiet, not wanting to see him. He remains sat on a bale of hay in Jayne’s stable, curling his knees up to his chest, trying to silence his sobs.

Thorin feels his heart race as he receives no response to his calls and begins to step further into the night, towards Dis’ old place. But then he stops as he hears a muffled sobbing coming from the stables. “Kili?” he tries again. When he just hears another stifled sob in response he takes long strides in the direction of the sound.

As soon as he throws open the stable doors he can see Kili sat huddled in the corner, the light of one of the stable lanterns throwing patterns onto his jolting frame. “Kili, what is God’s name are you doing here?” Thorin asks with a mixture of relief and anger in his voice.

"GO AWAY!" Kili shouts as the gentleman enters the stables and he can feel anger and hurt rush through his body.

Thorin takes a few long strides towards the teenager, anger soon boiling up inside him at the rudeness on top of Kili’s earlier display of total disregard for his feelings. “Who the hell do you think you are?!” he bellows back. “You do not tell me to go away! Since you have decided that my affections are not good enough for you, I will treat you as the servant you are! Now get up!”

"That’s all I am to you, a servant?" Kili says, his voice full of hurt and he thinks back to his father's words. "I get the picture, you only care for me for one thing," he says quietly and gets up from the hay bale.

“How dare you!” Thorin growls at Kili and a red mist shifts before his eyes. As his hand shoots out, the slap resonates through the stables and for a moment they stare at each other in shock.

Kili tries to barge past his beloved, back into the night, aiming to storming back towards the house as fear clutches his chest.

“Not so fast!” Thorin grabs the teenager’s arm, fed up and worried about Kili’s constant running away in equal measures.

Kili flinches as his love squeezes his arm. "Let me go," he says, his voice wobbling. "Just leave me be. Go back to Jack!" he says trying to pull his arm free.

Thorin tightens his grip, but only to stop Kili from running off. “Jack?” he chokes. “What are you talking about? Kili, stop fighting, I am not going to hurt you,” he tries to calm his lover down.

"You already have!" Kili says, beginning to sob. "You were all over him!" he thunders. "You lied, you told me I was special. I thought you cared for me!"

“What?!” Thorin utters in disbelief. “Are you implying I was flirting with my nephew’s valet?!”

" Don't deny, it I saw you" Kili snarls.

“You saw me do what exactly?” Thorin snarls back, forcing Kili to look at him. “I am not the one who had his hand on some pretty young girl’s hips! I should have known that you would soon get bored of a more mature lover …”

"I dont even like girls!" Kili growls. "And she put my hands on her waist. I would have marched you down onto that dance floor and danced with you if I could, but I can’t."

“Don’t pretend you were not enjoying yourself,” Thorin retorts. “It hardly looked like you were fighting to get away from her!” he continues to argue back although there is now a hint of doubt in his mind. Had he misinterpreted what he had seen? “If you do not want to be with me, then just say so. I am risking my reputation and my family relations for you and this is how you show your gratitude? By going off with some cheap slut and then accusing me of being unfaithful?!” his voice rises as his anger is fuelled again. “You have no idea what I have done for you!”

"What you have done for me? " Kili says quietly. "I have been through hell and back trying to get back to you and you question if I love you! " he says hurt flooding over his body.

“I was not the one questioning you …”Thorin says coolly and lets go of Kili’s arm, turning away from him and he walks over to Jayne, stroking her neck as he tries to calm himself down. He feels hurt by Kili’s words. He had done everything he could trying to do the right thing, including risking his and Thranduil’s freedom to get Kili back. But he can never tell Kili what else he had done to revenge the young man whom he loves so very much.

Kili can feel tears run down his face and he turns his back on his beloved. "You don’t trust me," he states then takes a few steps closer to the exit.

Despite his own hurt and anger, Thorin feels his icy stubbornness defrost a little as Kili’s defeated tone. “Wait,” he says softly, not turning towards him yet as he tries to gather his composure.

Kili stops in his track. "Yes sir? he asks wiping his face with his sleeve.

“Don’t,” Thorin says quietly, feeling more hurt by Kili’s address than anything else as it instantly distances him to the unattainable.

"Was there something you needed?" Kili asks, feeling hurt at the fact that after everything they had been through the man he loved didn't believe him.

“Yes,” Thorin says and he slowly walks up to Kili who still has his back to him and he tentatively runs his hands down his upper arms. “You.”

Kili slowly turns around. "I was only dancing," he says sadly.

Thorin looks into his lover’s beautiful eyes, and he brushes his palm over Kili’s face. “Dance with me,” he whispers.

Kili wraps his arms around Thorin’s waist and feels his lover do the same to him and slowly begins moving listening to the distant sound of the party.

Thorin buries his head in Kili’s hair, drinking in his scent. And they sway gently to the distant music as he feels Kili’s warmth flood his heart with love. “You’re mine,” he whispers against Kili’s cheeks, closing his eyes as he leans in against the young man. “I am sorry if I misread you and that girl … I cannot bear to see you that close with another when I cannot be.”

"And you are mine" he states kissing his loves cheek " Are you sure you want me?” he asks. "I mean, Jack is older."

Thorin pulls back to look in Kili’s big brown eyes and begins to laugh. “Jack? Kili, the man offered me a glass of wine and a smoke, that’s all!” When he sees the unsure frown on Kili’s brow he sighs. “Perhaps I was trying to make you a little jealous,” he admits softly, not looking at Kili’s eyes. “I wanted you to feel what I felt when I saw you with that girl …”

" Well it worked" Kili admits moodily " I did not even want to dance to with Martha in the first place Balin pushed me into it"

“Balin?” Thorin raises an eyebrow. “Dirty old goat,” he mumbles under his breath and then with a laugh he lifts Kili up off the floor and twirls him around, only then remembering the boy’s injured back as he carefully puts him back onto his feet. “You need not worry. I have no feelings for Jack. And no-one can compete with you, my sweet boy,” he says softly and brings his lips to Kili’s, knowing it is reckless but not caring all the same.

"I love you," Kili whispers tucking his head into his lover's shoulder as he pulls him nearer.

Thorin just smiles as he wraps Kili even tighter in his arms. The steady beat of his heart against Kili’s chest and the brunet’s breath caressing his neck are saying more than words ever can. And for this short private moment he can believe there is no wrong in their love and they can be like this together forever. But their moment is disturbed when he can hear the distant sound of horses and cart wheels approach.

“That will be my brother,” he sighs. “I think we had best head back into the house before we are caught here. I am not sure how I would explain that one to Frerin …”

Kili gives a sad laugh. "Yes, could be a hard one to get out of," he says letting go of his lover’s shoulders.

“Kili,” Thorin says seriously, as he cups the brunet’s face in his large hands. “I really love you. You must believe me when I say this. I would not have reacted the way I did if I did not.”

Kili nods. "I know you do," he says quietly. "I’m lucky to have you," he states giving his love a quick kiss.

“We are lucky to have each other,” Thorin smiles softly and takes Kili’s hand in his as he guides him out of the stables. “Night Jayne,” he calls over his shoulder, “We’ll leave you in peace now.” They both chuckle as the horse snorts as if it has understood all that has been said. And they walk back together to the main house in silence, enjoying these precious rare moments of being able to hold hands like lovers before they have to separate themselves again and return to secrecy.


	35. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Frerin written by witchesdelite  
> Balin and Thorin written by LadyLuna

Kili walks down the hallway a little worried after his and Thorin’s argument. His face felt a little sore after the slap and he was sure he had a hand shaped bruise on his face.

He walks into the little dining room and smiles as he sees Balin looking extremely delicate after the night before. He sneaks up behind his elderly friend, who is cradling his head in his hand." Morning, Mr Balin" he says loudly making the man jump.

“Young master Kili,” Balin grumbles. “Would you care to keep your voice down. Some of us are a little ehm delicate this morning.”

"I’m not surprised with how much wine you drank" Kili says cheerfully but at a quieter volume.

“I did not drink that much,” Balin retorts, but truth be told he cannot recall exactly how much he did drink. At some point after the fourth glass he had lost count. “Anyhow,” he quickly changes the subject,“you seemed to enjoy yourself last night. Think someone has a little crush,” he winks at the brunet as he remembers his attempt at matchmaking last night.

Kili can feel his face burning red " Who has a little crush? On who?" he asks a little confused.

“Oh come on Kili,” Balin grins. “I could fry an egg on those cheeks of yours. Don’t worry, I won’t tell the master.”

"Tell the master what?" he asks " I honestly don't have a clue what you are on about" 

 Balin cocks his head at the young lad. “I think you rather impressed the lovely lady Martha with your dancing skills,” he not so subtly reminds Kili of last night. “Now no need to thank me,” he adds with a cheeky grin.

Kili can feel his face flush more at Balins comment " I'm not interested in Martha"l He says bluntly " She is a nice girl, but not my type. Anyway, I’m courting someone else" he blurts out and then silently kicks himself.

Balin stares at the youngster in surprise. “Oh …” he prods at his breakfast, a little embarrassed that he had been so forward in his assumptions, even though he had had the best intentions. He felt happy for this boy that he had found someone who took a shine to him and just wanted to help the shy youngster along a little. “I apologise,” he mumbles. “I thought … I know Martha really likes you and …”

Kili smiles at the man. "No need to apologise, sir, we were just dancing. You weren't the only one to think so," he says thinking about Thorin and his argument and  helping himself to sausages and egg.

“You are a handsome lad, Kili,” the older man smiles. “You will have plenty of girls queuing up to dance with you, I am sure. So this lass you are with, is she from round here or the city?”

The brunet suddenly panics he was not prepared to be questioned and doesn't like the thought of lying to the man who had help bring him up. "Um.. around here" he says quietly hoping the man will drop the subject.

“Ah that’s nice,” Balin smiles, pushing away the food as his stomach feel a little queasy still. “So how did you meet this young lady? Does she work here?” When he sees the youngster flush he chuckles. “I am sorry for my curiosity. Indulge an old man, Kili, it has been a long while since there was any wooing and young romance at Erebor estate!”

"Um I have known him...her a while," he says, hoping he hadn't picked up on his little slip up _Damn it, Kili, think before you talk, you idiot!_ he scolds himself and suddenly doesn't feel hungry any longer.

Balin slowly puts his cup of tea down and stares at the young man on the other side of the table. He knows he has heard it right, but still, he has to be rather careful what what he says, making an accusation like that. “Him …?” he repeats slowly.

"Her, I meant _her_... Shit," he curses, panicking .

“Young man!” Balin frowns. “You will mind your language!”

" Yes, sir " Kili says quietly, lowering his head. _Maybe he will let it go_ , he thinks.

“Now look at me,” the old butler says sternly. When the brunet slowly looks up at him through his eyelashes he sighs. “It is none of my business. And I know I probably should have my tongue ripped out for saying this. But Kili, I personally do not care whether the person you like is a girl or a boy. As long as you are happy.”

"He makes me very happy" He smiles looking up at the kind words of his friend " And makes me want to be a better person make something out of my life".

“Why that sure is a good thing,” Balin beams at the happy smile on the youngster’s face. “Still, Kili, you should be careful,” he adds a word of caution. “Such love as yours, not everyone accepts it. I should know,” he lowers his gaze sadly. “I had a conversation not dissimilar with a young man such as yourself, many years ago now. But his heart got broken due to the perception of others,” he says, trying to keep the detail sufficiently vague so as not to implicate the subject of his words.

Kili looks at Balin instantly knowing he is talking about his beloved " Don't worry, Mr Balin, we have had this conversation. He is older than I, and has faced disapproval before. I know not everyone will approve, but I love Thorin with all my heart" He says giving the man a reassuring smile.

Balin chokes on his own spit as Kili blurts out the truth of the matter and the coughing fit is making him gasp for air.

"Are you ok Mr Balin? Here have some water" he says worriedly  pouring the older some water.

“Thank you,” Balin croaks after having taken a few sips. Once he can breath again he looks up at Kili again. “Please tell me there happens to be another Thorin somewhere in the village that I do not know about.”

" I've said too much sir, I...I should go," he stutters getting to his feet. "Forget I said anything."

“Sit down,” Balin says calmly, but sternly.

Kili does as the older man has ordered and sits with his hands in his lap, unsure what to say or do. He is scared that whatever he says will dig him a deeper hole so decides silence is the best option.

Balin clears his throat and throws a quick glance at the door to check Frerin’s staff have not all of a sudden appeared. “Kili,” he says in a low voice. “You are a sixteen year old servant. He is more than twice your age and he is your master!”

"You wanted to know what was wrong with my back, Balin? Take a look," he says lifting his shirt so Balin can see his scars and stitches.

“Oh Kili …” Balin gasps as he looks at the boy’s injured back. He had heard that Frerin had given Kili stitches, but he had no idea why; he had assumed he had fallen over or something or hurt himself in the incident on the lake. “Are those whipping marks?” he says incredulously.

"They are, sir. Thorin took me to my father at my mother's request. But he beat me half to death. Thorin risked everything to save me. He really loves me, sir, and I him. Age doesn't matter to me. He is good to me sir and I am truly happy."

Balin considers this for a moment. He had noticed how the both of them had returned from London completely transformed. He had not seen Thorin this relaxed and happy since before Arwen had died. And of course it was Thorin he had referred to when he had spoken to Kili about the other young man he had known to show an interest in men as well as women, when the master had been just a teenager. “Is that really how you feel, Kili?” he asks carefully. “Are you not confusing gratefulness for love?”

"I had feelings before he took me to my father, sir. That just confirmed it. He is my soulmate, sir. In London we are equals and I can't imagine my life without him," Kili says, feeling a sense of relief at finally being able to be honest with someone.

Balin slowly shakes his head. “That boy will be the death of me one day,” he snorts, not referring to Kili, but to his master who had given him more grey hairs over the years than anyone else. “Well, who am I to argue with true love,” he smiles at Kili.

Kili wraps his arms around the old man's shoulders " Thank you, sir," he says feeling emotional. Then he has an idea. "I could use some help with his Christmas present," he says.

Balin hesitates. Acknowledging their inappropriate relationship is one thing. Actually assisting their forbidden courtship quite another. But then he remembers his own words from just now. Erebor had been a soulless, depressing estate since the death of the lady of the house. To see happiness and love return to the master, regardless of the form it took, made Balin feel happy too. "What sort of help?" he asks carefully. "What have you got planned?"

"Well, I had this idea when I was resting by the fire. I'd like to cook him a night time meal, just the two of us. But I can't think where to do it that is private,  so no one will find out," he explains then looks at his friend, hopeful. "Any Ideas?"

The older man considers this for a moment. “A romantic dinner for two?” he grins. The shakes his head. “It is risky, Kili. You cannot do that inside the house.” Then he has an idea. “How about you make it a cold buffet? And have it in your mother’s old cottage? We could clean it up. No-one goes there anymore.”

“That is perfect, I could kiss you," Kili smile happily, then suddenly feels a little worried. "I have so much to do. I think I might have to ask for the afternoon off," he says, then thinks of the wooden box. "Also can you help me with something else? I need to know how to write _Thorin._ Can you teach me?"

Balin smiles at the brunet’s enthusiasm. “Course I can. And get the boy, Maurice, to help you with the shack. At least he will be out from under his mother’s feet then as we prepare the manor for Christmas Eve.”

"Thank you sir, I will go and ask Thorin for the time off right away," Kili babbles, giving the man one last hug.

“Oh and Kili ...,” Balin calls out to the young man before he disappears.

"Yes, sir?" he says, beaming

“Work on your cover up story. It sucks.”

Kili laughs, then hurries out the room and up the stairs to his lover’s room and knocks the door.

“Good morning,” Thorin says as his valet reports for duty, a little reservedly as he remembers last night’s argument. Although they had made up in the end, he still feels a little hurt by some of the things Kili had said and also regrets lashing out at him. “Are you well?”

Kili can feel a little bit of tension and nods. " I’m fine thanks. And how about you?" he asks biting the corner of his nail.

“Okay,” Thorin says then looks into Kili’s almond eyes. “Are _we_ okay?”

Kili reaches out and wraps an arm around his lover's waist pulling himself close. "We are," he beams kissing his cheek.

Thorin can feel himself relax a little and smiles, brushing his hand through Kili’s hair which is already growing long again. “I am glad,” he says and watches Kili move around the room as he begins to carry out his duties.

Kili bends down to stoke the fire, and looks up at his beloved who is smiling at him. " So what's your plans for the day?"

“Nothing much, just making sure that everything is ready for tomorrow. We’ll be going to mass tonight, Frerin insists,” Thorin frowns.

"Do I have to go to mass? Hate churches," Kili grumbles.

“Yes, you have to go to mass as well,” Thorin answers, allowing no argument, but there is a hint of a smile around his lips as Kili’s rebellion. “Why do you hate churches?”

Kili begins to shuffle his feet " Well I have always disliked them, I'm not religious and feel like a bit of a fraud going to them,  but…,"  he hesitates, his lover gives him a reassuring nod. "Mctavish made me go," he says looking at the floor.

“I see,” Thorin says, taking a few steps towards his beloved and wrapping an arm around him. “You cannot let that … man … have such a hold over you, Kili.” He pushes Kili’s chin up with his finger, making him look at him. “McTavish is a hypocrite who does not belong in the house of God. But he will have to face his judgement one day.” Then he cocks his head at Kili. “You do not believe in God?” he asks in surprise.

Kili shakes his head. No, ma used to make me go to church as a child,  but when I turned nine I refused to go, and never went back. I don't believe in anything. We make our own paths in life," he says quietly. 

Thorin feels quite sad at that statement. He is not a particularly devoted Christian, but to believe there is nothing, no-one looking out for them … And worse … “And what about after this life?” he asks. “Where do we go? Where will we find our loved ones again if there is no heaven?”

Kili shrugs " we go no where,  once we pass away, we pass away" he shrugs " never really thought about it" he admits.

“I don’t believe that,” Thorin shakes his head. “I believe there is something. I believe that Arwen watches over me from somewhere, call it heaven or not. I believe there is a God, a higher power who has created the world and us in it.” He smiles at Kili’s frown, realising it is the first time they have debated anything like this. “What I don’t believe is that other humans can tell us what God’s wishes and plans for us are. I believe the church, the Bible, they are man-made things and God does not speak to us through them.” He shrugs. “Which is why I do not normally go to church. But I think I have upset Frerin enough already this holiday, so I will go. As will you,” he smiles.

The brunet sighs " If I must, I must"  he says then takes in the rest of what his beloved has said " why have you upset your brother?"

“It is just this whole issue of you not behaving like what my brother deems a _proper valet_ ,” Thorin brushes it off.

Kili feels a sudden stab of hurt at Frerin’s opinion " I am trying" he says sadly looking at the floor " I don't know what else I can do"

Thorin strokes Kili’s cheek. “You are doing very well, my love. Do not take it personal. It is to be expected that he challenges me for my unconventional decision. I will mollify him, do not worry.” And he presses a gentle kiss upon Kili’s lips.

When he pulls away from the kiss Kili smiles at his love and cups his cheek he then opens the wardrobe and starts preparing his loves clothing. " I want him to like me. I know he can never know about us, but still," he says, smoothing the blazer jackets sleeve down.

“He will,” Thorin sighs, twisting the ring around his finger. “Just try not to get into any more arguments with Fili. That will help,” he winks at the brunet.

Kili can't help but laugh " He brushes me up the wrong way, but I will try. I know I need to curb my temper; Balin has told me too," he admits.

Thorin laughs too. “Indeed. A valet is supposed to be in the background, inconspicuous.” He walks up to Kili and runs a finger along his neckline. “But I like your fire. It is one of the many things I admire and find attractive in you.”

Kili can feel himself begin to stir at his lovers touch. "And I like yours. When its aimed at anyone else other than me,"  he adds.

“Ouch,” Thorin answers with mock offence. “Why, Mr Durin, if you would not misbehave then you would not suffer it.”

" Did I misbehave last night?" he says. " No, you just turned into a jealous grump.

Thorin can feel himself flare at that. “I was not the one who ran off in a huff because you thought I was getting it on with my nephew’s valet!” he exclaims. But then he realises they are going over old hurts again and stops himself. “I think we were both in the wrong,” he grumbles what is the best apology Kili is going to get.

Kili smiles. " I love It you getting jealous," he says, wrapping his arms around him. "It kills me seeing you with Fili too," he admits.

“That is hardly the same thing,” Thorin grumbles, although he leans into Kili’s embrace. “It is not like I intend to woo my own nephew!”

" I know, but I hate the way he can link arms with you and I can't. It’s so frustrating and the amount of times I have just wanted to just do something little hold your hand, it’s maddening," he says, kissing his lover’s neck.

“I know, my angel,” Thorin sighs. “You do know it will always be like this though. Time is not going to change that.”

Kili lets out a sad sigh. "I know, but seeing someone else do it just makes me want to punch them in the face," he says imagining giving Fili a black eye and fat lip, then sees his lovers stern face. "Don’t worry I won't, I'll be a good boy and watch my manners.” _Unless he pushes it,_  he adds in his head.

“Just a few more days,” Thorin hushes the brunet. “At least in London we can share a bed again in the comfort of my residence there. Now, I had best get ready for breakfast before Frerin comes knocking on my door again.”

" Thorin, I need a favour. Can I have a few hours off this afternoon please?" he asks nervously, hoping Thorin won't ask too many questions.

Thorin considers this. “Sure. As long as you are back in time for mass,” he adds, making sure his lover will not try and get out of that one, which will upset Frerin even more. “And on one condition.”

"What condition is that? Kili asks a little warily.

“That you kiss me right now,” Thorin gleams at his lover.

" You strike a hard bargain, Mr Oakenshield," Kili jests brushing his lips against his love’s.

Thorin grabs Kili firmly in his arms, pushing his lips apart and explores his mouth hungrily. When he reluctantly pulls away, he stares deep into Kili’s beautiful brown eyes. “Just something to keep me going until we are back in London,” he smiles.

Kili gives his beloved a huge grin. "You can have one of those whenever you want, hot stuff " he purrs.

“Hot stuff?” Thorin laughs out loud. “I can just picture Frerin’s face if you called me that in front of him!”

"God no, he already don't like me. I can just hear a _how dare you talk to your master like that,_ " he says trying to copy Frerin's tone.

“You cheeky git,” Thorin smiles as he lets Kili help him into his shirt and fix his cravat. “So what are your plans then, Kili?”

“Just a few bits for christmas thats all," he says innocently and has to stop himself from averting his eyes to the ground.

“Alright my sweet. Just be back by dinner time.” Thorin attaches his pocket watch and gives Kili one quick parting kiss before he goes to find his brother, hoping to find him in a somewhat less argumentative mood today.

+++

“Come in,” Thorin calls out and smiles at his blond brother as he slowly enters the room. “Perhaps it is a little early for brandy,” he observes. “How about some tea and smoke, brother?” He is glad to see that his brother looks a little more relaxed this morning. “Did you sleep well?” he enquiries politely.

Frerin nods gratefully accepting the smoke and tea. "Fairly well and you?” he asks sipping his tea.

“I have spoken to Kili,” Thorin decides to just get the thing he needs to say out of the way first. “About his behaviour and the way he had acted towards Philip in particular. It will not happen again.”

"Good, I am pleased to hear it. He does need to remember his place a little more," he states, then suddenly feels  a little harsh on the boy. "How is his back healing?" he asks.

“Very well, thank you for your good work, brother,” Thorin smiles, genuinely grateful. “And yes, I agree, Kili still has a lot to learn. But I have faith in him. And he has told me how much he wants to make a good impression on you. He really is trying, Frey.”

Frerin sighs. "It is not that I dislike the boy, I just think trouble follows him," he states.

Thorin smirks as he can hardly disagree with his brother on that. “He keeps me amused,” he says, immediately realising what he has said and he quickly takes a sip from his tea, feeling a blush creep up his neck.

Frerin frowns at his brothers wording, but lets it pass, not wanting to get into another disagreement. "As long as he works hard," he says, taking another sip of tea then smiling. "So who is the lucky women?"

“The lucky what?” Thorin shakes his head in confusion at the sudden change of subject that appears to be have no bearing on anything and he cannot place.

" Come on Thorin, I can see it. Frances can and Fili. You are a lot more relaxed and I have never seen you this happy at Christmas since.. well since you know when. You are like a different person. Who is making you this happy? Because whoever it is  has worked a miracle," he says grinning at the way his older brother is shifting uncomfortably.

“There is … someone,” Thorin says slowly, concentrating hard on his cigarette. “It is early days, brother. I do not want to set the expectation that this is going anywhere serious,” he hastily adds, worried that his brother will invite him and his new love over for dinner at some point.

Frerin reaches forward and grasps his brothers shoulder. "It is nice to see you smile again," he says truthfully; it had been years since he has last seen his brother smile and had feared this Thorin was gone forever. " So tell me about her" he says.

“Honestly, brother,” Thorin tries to wriggle himself out of the inquisition as he lights another cigarette and offers his brother one. “It has been but a month. It may just be a fleeting thing.”

"You don't get out of it that easily,” Frerin chuckles as his brother blushes. " How did you meet? How old is she? Come on, give me something " he says, quizzing his brother, enjoying his embarrassment.

Thorin nervously strokes his beard avoiding his brother’s gaze. “She’s … younger than me. We met through an old friend, someone I used to work with.” He decides not to give him any more than basic answers to the questions he has asked. “So I hear that Fili’s apprenticeship is going well.”

Frerin chuckles at the change of subject but allows it. "Yes, he seems to be enjoying it very much, but wants to train to be a doctor," he says proudly.

“Well of course,” Thorin eagerly praises, glad to have moved on from the awkward subject, although he also remembers the blond’s grey face when his father had stitched up Kili’s back and wonders how wise such a career choice would be for him. “And step in his father’s shoes, I would expect no less from him,” he adds to humour his brother. “So will he be following the old tradition on New Year’s Day?”

"Of course," Frerin smiles. "It is tradition!  I have high hopes for him and a beautiful young lady called Charlotte."

“Why, I am sure he will make a good impression. He is a handsome and intelligent young man.” _He just needs to grow up somewhat_ , Thorin think to himself; at the moment the boy appears more interested in toy trains than young ladies. “Well, I am glad that you and your family are here to celebrate Christmas.”

He smiles warmly at his brother. "As am I. It has been too long since I visited Erebor," he says, looking around the office.  "Next time we will have to have you and your lady friend over if things are still good between you," he says brightly.

Thorin nods courteously. “That would be nice.”


	36. A Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Frerin - witchesdelite  
> Fili and Thorin - LadyLuna

"There is so much junk" he says to himself, shocked, removing another broken chair to add to the pile of rubbish.

“Eeew, what is this hovel? It stinks!”

Kili spins around taking deep breaths trying to calm himself, remembering his promise to Thorin. "You should not be here, sir," he says sternly.

Fili ignores the brunet and walks into the shack. He picks up a cup from the floor and immediately drops it again, wiping his hands on his trousers. “Neither should you,” he says to the other teenager without looking at him. “Does uncle Thorin know you are here?”

Kili clenches his jaw, all politeness gone. "Go away," he growls.

“You cannot tell me what to do,” Fili swings round to Kili and crosses his arms at him. “You had better be nice to me, boy, or you will get in trouble again,” he sneers.

"Boy?" Kili laughs “I am only a few months younger than you idiot," he says as he follows the boy with his eyes.

Fili stares at the other with flaming eyes. “You disrespectful rat!” he snarls. “You take that back!”

The brunet opens his mouth to argue then shuts it again. _You promised Thorin,_ he reminds himself. "I am sorry, master Fili" he says quietly.

The blond boy grins in satisfaction over his victory. “So what is this place?” he asks kicking aside a rag.

Kili decides to be honest. "This was my home before my mother passed away,"  he replies, picking up the item fili had kicked, which was one of his mother's old aprons. 

“You lived her?!” the young gentleman looks around in disbelief. “But it’s like … a shack!” Then he grins at the brunet. “Still, it is a cool hideaway! Bet no-one ever comes here now.”

Kili can't help but smile at how close the blond was to the truth. "No, they don't. Just me," he says, looking around the shack. "I'm trying to clear out all of my old stuff."

Fili looks around again and then shuffles his feet. “Can I help?” he asks softly, looking at the floor. “My father never lets me do anything like this …” he says a little sadly.

The brunet finds himself actually feeling a pang of sympathy for the boy and suddenly thinks that maybe they had got off on the wrong foot. "I’d appreciate the help, my back is still not fully healed" he smiles.

Fili perks up at that. Back home he does not often get to play with boys his own age. His mother likes to wrap him up in cotton wool and his dad likes to push him to becoming the next greatest surgeon in Britain, which does not allow much time for leisure. “How did you hurt your back?” he asks, since Kili had mentioned it. “Did my uncle do it?” he asks a little nervously. He knows his uncle had a temper but he also seemed to like the other boy and had been worried about Kili’s back which seemed odd if he had hurt him in the first place.

Kili looks at the boy uncertain, unsure if to tell the truth or not. "No, your uncle didn't," he says " My father did" he admits quietly, looking anywhere but at the blonde.

Fili frowns in confusion. “Your father? Why?” he asks, not understanding why a father would do that to his son. His father had giving him a smack on his bare buttocks when he had been naughty, but that was about it.

"Because he is an evil bully of a man,  and I hope one day someone will lock him in a room and beat him so he can feel the pain," he says angrily.

The blond stares at the other teenage boy in shock. “He really locked you up?” Then he frowns, “Does your father live here? In Erebor Hall?”

The brunet lets out a little scoff. " No, my father is a barrister like you uncle, in London," he informs the boy shifting uncomfortably.

“Oh,” Fili says, his mouth forming a perfect circle. He lowers his eyes to the ground.

" My ma had an affair with him" he mutters quietly,  feeling anger rise at his mother and her stupidity to fall for a monster like Mctavish.

“Why? He sounds horrible,” Fili screws up his face.

Kili shrugs " I don't really know why, all I know is I hope I never see him again"  he says picking up an old plate and examining it.

"So ehm … what do we do?” Fili asks, looking around. He is not quite sure what to do or where to begin, having never seen such a mess in his life. Surely they will never manage to clean all this with just the two of them?

Kili smiles. "All the rubbish on the pile and anything that is broken or grubby on there. Anything that looks like it can be saved on the bed," he says chucking the apron from earlier on the bed.

Fili stares at the item that Kili had apparently deemed salvageable, thinking it is just an old rag. As he looks around he wonders if there is anything here that is worth saving and he worries that he does not know what is rubbish and what is not. Slowly he begins to pick up some items that are clearly broken, determining that they must be rubbish. After each items he vigorously rubs his hands on his trousers, trying to clean off the dirt. But after a little while he gives up on that. They are obviously going to get dirty doing this and in a way it is kind of fun. Soon he is eagerly chucking things onto the rubbish pile.

Kili is shocked to find himself enjoying the blond’s company. He seemed quite a keen volunteer and seems to enjoy listening to things break after he has chucked them on the pile. After a  couple of minutes he is even more shocked to find conversation flowing easily. "So tell me, have you ever baked anything before?" he asks, already pretty sure he knows the answer.

“Baked? Like what?” Fili asks, confused.

Kili can't help but chuckle at the blond’s reply. "Like cakes, pies, that type of thing?"

Fili shakes his head. “Our chef and kitchen maids do that. I am not allowed in the kitchen,” he says matter of factly.

Kili smiles. "Would you like to help me bake some cakes?”

The blond gentleman’s son shrugs, feeling a little uncertain. Baking is for servants. But it also sounds kind of fun. “Yeah, maybe,” he says tentatively.

"I'll let you have some,” he promises,  finding himself enjoying the company of someone his own age. “But I need to walk into town first. You're welcome to join me if you want," he offers finding himself actually happy to have the boy here.

The slightly older boy stares at Kili in surprise. “You really want me to help? And come to town with you?” He had not exactly been nice to the servant boy before.

" If... if you want," Kili says unsurely. "I mean you don't have to... Just thought you might like to.."“I would like to …” Fili says quickly. “But my father will never let me go,” he adds sadly, pulling a face.

"Live a little. I have to go to the sweet store and we may even have enough time to look at the huge Christmas tree. Oh and speaking of Christmas trees I’m going to get one for in here and decorate. Wanna help?" he says and is shocked to find himself trying to talk the blond into going with him.

“Gosh yeah!” Fili beams from ear to ear. He nervously bites his lip. He never goes against his father’s instructions. But the temptation of the sweet shop and then the big tree is too much. “Okay,” he nods.

Kili smiles then looks around the shack. There was still loads to do, but he had actually excited himself even. "Do you want to go now? I can finish up here later," he says and smiles at the blonde who is practically bouncing.

“Yeah!” Fili almost fist-pumps the air. He feels his heart bouncing in his throat at the thought of doing something so risky. “Let’s go!”

Kili grabs his coat and hastily puts it on leading the way down the driveway towards the village. They walk in silence and the brunet tries to think  of something to say to break the silence. "So how do you like the countryside?" he asks.

Fili shrugs. “It’s alright,” he says, kicking a stone ahead of him. A few more moments of awkward silence pass between them. “Do you like working for my uncle?” Fili then asks.

The brunet nods. "I do,  he's been good to me. I like it very much," Kili smiles and thinks of the wooden box hoping Thorin will like it.

“I like uncle Thorin,” Fili admits. “He is very strict. But he also lets me do things that my dad does not let me do.”

Kili laughs. "He’s a good man, but definitely strict. I have old marks on my backside to prove to that!" he says, feeling his body stir a little as it always does when he talks of Thorin.

“Yeah me too,” Fili admits to having had his uncle’s cane on his backside also, blushing as he realises he is being rather frank with a servant boy.

"Really? So er, what did he punish you for? " Kili asks curiously. 

Fili hesitates whether to tell the boy. But he's never had anyone his own age to talk to and he finds it rather fun sharing stories of mischief with the brunet boy. "Got his cane on a few occasions," he owns up. "But the worst time was when I tried to play a prank on one of my father's footmen when he was readying our carriage. I had just wanted to startle him, but the horse bolted and got injured. Uncle Thorin was visiting and he gave me a serious beating for what had happened, said I could have killed someone. My father told me off, but he never caned me or anything. Think he and uncle argued a lot over it."

A rush of sympathy washes Kili. "How old were you?" he asks wincing for the blond at the thought of that cane.

"I dunno, nine or ten," Fili says softly. "What about you? What did you do?"

Kili looks at The blonde a little unsure if to trust him or not; he knows he could have been hung for his crime. "I er, I  got caught stealing from a shop in the village. He hit my knuckles first, then I sort of pulled away and then he went for the buttocks," he eventually admits rubbing his ass at the thought.

The blond rich boy stares at the other in disbelief. "You're a thief?!" he utters. "Oh my god, Kili, uncle is a barrister! He could have sent you to jail for that! Or worse!"

 I know I was lucky. I stole medicine for my mother to try and make her better and he took pity on me," he explains then feels tears prick his eyes and quickly wipes them away with his sleeve hoping the blond didn't see. "She died that night.”

"What was wrong with her? " Fili asks in shock.

"She had consumption. There was nothing they could do," Kili explains, looking at the ground. " Your uncle was with her when she died," he says quietly.

The young gentleman feels a pang of sadness for the servant boy, whom he had initially felt hatred for from the first moment he met him. "Must he hard, " he says, feeling a little mean at the way he'd acted towards the servant boy before. "With your mum dead and your dad beating you and all…”

Kili can see the sadness in the boy’s eyes. "It is, but hey, that’s life. It’s not meant to be easy," he says, forcing himself to feel happier as they enter the little village. "Now, I need some good chocolate from the sweet shop for some of the cakes," he says to the boy, knowing the ingredients for what he is baking by heart.

Fili follows the boy into the shop. He feels nervous and excited to be here without his father’s knowledge or his valet following his every move and he feels a stab of jealousy of the other boy, who seems so much more free to do as he pleases. He looks around at the colourful jars of sweets and decides to spend a little bit of his pocket money on some of the hard boiled candy that his mother never lets him eat.

Kili can see the excitement on the other’s face and suddenly wonders how much freedom he has at home. "What chocolate is the best do you think?" he asks the blond. It needs to be the best for Thorin, he thinks.

“Ehm …,” Fili looks at the various different bars of chocolate. He has no idea really, but he points at a bar with black and gold wrapping, which looks pretty if nothing else. “How about that one?” he asks, a little unsurely, expecting the other boy to laugh at his poor choice.

Kili looks at the golden wrapped chocolate bar. "Perfect choice," he says with a smile to the blond and picks up a few bars and takes them to the desk. "And can I have a pound of chocolate limes as well please?" he says to the gentleman, who nods and measures them out. Kili hands him the required money, then he turns to the blond. "Did you need anything?" he asks.

Fili points at a jar of apple mints. “Could I have a pound of those,” he says to the shopkeeper, pulling his little purse out of his thick winter coat. Then he throws Kili a wide grin. “This is fun,” he says.

Kili can feel a genuine friendliness for the other teen forming. "Glad you're enjoying it. Maybe after we have been shopping we could grab a hot chocolate or something?” he suggests, tucking into the limes and offering one to the boy.

“Thanks!” Fili smiles, surprised at the kindness of the servant boy. “Ehm … we should not be out for too long though,” he says a little nervously. “My mum and dad will be worried where I am…”

"Oh yes of course. Maybe after Christmas," Kili says feeling a little disappointed.  “So have you go a lady friend at home?" he asks nosely.

Fili shakes his head, feeling his cheeks turn red. “No, but father wants me to go and see this girl on New Year’s Day.” He sighs. “Everyone else in the city has given up on that silly tradition, but father insists.” He really does not want to go and chat to some girl that he does not actually know under the watchful eye of both their fathers. “My father says he thinks uncle Thorin has a lady friend,” he quickly changes the subject. “That is why he is so happy.”

Kili can't help give a huge goofy grin he wants to tell him that he is infact the lady friend, but knows he has to remain silent on the subject. "It is nice seeing him happier," he says instead, wondering how Fili would take the news that his uncle was in fact seeing a male servant. Probably not that well!he decides.

Fili nods. “I am looking forward to Christmas Day tomorrow. I already know my dad has got me a hunting knife,” he smiles and hands Kili one of his own sweets.

"Thank you," Kili says, shocked as they head towards the liquor store. "Do you happen to know anything about champagne?” he asks the blonde. "I am so clueless with shopping for stuff like that," he admits, popping the sweet into his mouth.

Fili’s eyes light up. That he knows! It had been part of his tedious education in upper class etiquette alongside knowing what all the different types of cutlery and crockery where for, how to taste and prove wine and how to address ladies and gentlemen from other houses. He looks around the store and then points at one of the bottles. “If you want a real French champagne, then go for that one,” he advises Kili. “It has a lovely sparkling bouquet and delicate flavours with a hint of peach,” he reels off the information he had learnt off by heart from his teacher. Then he looks at the brunet boy who stares at him like he has had a knock on the head and burst out laughing. “So yeah ehm, this one tastes nice,” he holds the bottle out to Kili.

Okay," Kili laughs. "This is the one I will go for. Thank you," He says taking the bottle off the boy and nearly passing out when he sees the price. _Thorin had better appreciate this,_ he thinks to himself and walks up to the counter and pays the man the money. " So is there anywhere you would like to go? Think I have everything I need," he says turning to the boy, then remembering the writing kit. "Except I need to buy a pen and ink."

“Can we still go and see the big Christmas tree?” Fili asks, worried that Kili might have forgotten.

"Yeah course we can," Kili says, smiling at his new friend. And he finds himself shocked to think of the boy, whom he thought was a pampered rich boy, as a friend " Would you like to help me pick a pen from the shop next door? Again I have no idea what I'm looking for as I can't write," he admits.

“Why do you need a pen then?” Fili frowns. “If you cannot write.”

 " It’s a Christmas present for my.. my...friend," Kili smiles.

 “Okay,” Fili nods, getting a little bored now with all the shopping for other people. “But then we go and see the tree.”#

 " Yeah sure, then the tree," Kili promises.

 They spend the next few minutes picking out little bits for Thorin. Fili had an eye for picking out elegant things and choose a beautiful peacock-feather pen as well as some other little bits that any writer should have according to blond. The gentleman’s son himself had spotted a bottle-green leather bound little diary, which he had put back down again but which Kili had found himself buying on the quiet; he could just picture Fili’s face when he would find it under the tree tomorrow.

 "Did you want to see the tree now?" he asks, checking his watch for the time. It was shifting on, but he had promised him and wasn’t about to break a promise to the blonde, especially as they seemed to have started to form an unlikely friendship.

 “Yes,” Fili nods. “Just quickly,” as he too is aware of the time they have been out here.

 "So what’s your favorite sweet dish? Perhaps we can bake it once we're back, if you like," Kili says kindly.

 Fili considers the question. “Cherry tartlets,” he decides. “With sugared cherries.”

 Kili is already thinking the recipe over in his head. "That we can do. With almonds," he says, happy that Fili has picked something he will have the ingredients for. As they head into the square he looks up at the huge tree in the centre. "I always used to want to climb it," he admits.

 “It is magnificent,” Fili stares up at the tall tree in awe. Then he lowers his head, shuffling his feet. “I am sorry I broke a bauble,” he mutters.

 Kili laughs. "That’s okay, I’m sorry I went crazy. It's just Maurice was so excited about the tree and I have never really celebrated christmas before. I overreacted," he admits.

 “You’ve never celebrated Christmas before?” Fili utters in disbelief.

 Kili shakes his head. "Nope. Ma could never afford Christmas so I done without," he says sadly.

 Fili feels a little sad for the other boy. Christmas is the best time of the year! “Well, then we’ll just have to make sure that this year will be the best Christmas ever,” he beams and he holds out his hand to the other boy.

 Kili accepts his hand and they walk back down the road towards Erebor Hall, talking all the way about Christmas and sharing sweets and presents under the tree and baking, happy to be in each other’s company.

 "Thanks for your help," Kili says as they make there way into the entrance hall out of the bitter cold weather.

 “You’re welcome,” Fili nods happily. He has not had this much fun in he cannot remember how long.#

 "We will have to do...."           

 "Philip where the hell have you been?!" Frerin roars, running across the hall and pulling his son away from Kili. He turns to the servant boy and strikes him hard across the face. "You need to learn your place! You have no right dragging my son off to God knows where!”

 Kili instantly screws up his eyes and tries to cover his face with his hands. "Please don’t hit me," he sobs cowering. "I'm.. I'm sorry," he stutters tears rolling down his face.

 Frances comes rushing over to her son the second she sees him and pulls him into a tight embrace. "We were so worried," she says tears running down her face. “Where on earth have you been?”

 “T-to town,” Fili stutters. He looks to his father and flinches as he can see the thunderous look on his face. “It was Kili’s idea!” he quickly says, pointing at the servant boy. “It … it’s his fault!”

 Kili instantly feels betrayal; he thought the blond could be trusted. "You lie!" he shouts.

 Frerin brings his face close to the teenage servant boy’s and grabs his coat. "I will see you punished for this! How dare you... you street rat! " he snarls as the teenager cowers.

 Kili suddenly begins to shudder with fear at the man's grip " Get off me!" he screams, kicking out as he has a flashback of his father’s beating.

 “FRERIN!!” Thorin comes storming through the doorway, his deep angry voice bellowing through the hall. He had been searching the stables and the outbuildings when his brother had alerted him to the fact that both boys has gone missing, but had been drawn back to the main house when he had heard Kili’s terrified scream. “Let go of him!” he storms up to his brother and pushes him back with a flat palm against his chest. “Don’t you dare raise your hand at my valet!” he snarls, his eyes flaming.

 The second Kili is released he hides behind his lover, clutching on to his coat fear flooding through his body.

 Frerin immediately lunges forward. "He needs to learn his place!" he bellows reaching for the brunet who just clings to his master tighter.

 “Don’t you come near him!” Thorin growls at his brother. Then he turns to Kili. “Where were you? We were looking for you and Fili! Everyone was worried!”

 "We were just in town that’s all," Kili says in a whisper still clutching onto his lover, staring wide-eyed at Thorin’s brother, not quite believing that he had struck him.

 Thorin turns to his brother. “How does that warrant you launching yourself at a member of my household like a berserker?”

 "He has no right to take my son down to town without telling anyone. He needs punishment, brother. He needs to learn his place and to respect his superiors," Frerin growls sending daggers at the youth.

 “Is that the way people behave up North?” Thorin snaps at his younger sibling. “You don’t talk, but you go straight for the throat? You shame me, brother!”

 "No, but we discipline our servants when they are disobedient. You can't even seem to control a sixteen year old," he thunders eying the boy with disgust. "Father would never have allowed a wild savage like that inside these walls, let alone hired one."

 Thorin stares open-mouthed at his brother, wondering whether his sibling had become delusional. “Savage?” he says, with an icy edge to his tone. “Did Kili attack you?”#

 "No, but he went for Fili on the first day we got here" he snarls.

 “Because Fili was bullying the six-year-old son of one of my kitchen maids. It was not an unprovoked attack, like the one you have just displayed. And yet you dare make such accusations of someone on my payroll? My personal valet of all people?” Thorin turns to his nephew. “Philip,” he says sternly, “look at me. Did Kili force you to go to town with him. And don’t you dare lie to me, I know when people lie, it is my job!”

 Fili looks up to his uncle, terrified of both his and his father’s temper. “No uncle,” he whispers almost inaudibly.

 “So you went voluntarily?”

 Fili slowly nods his head.

 “Answer me, boy!” Thorin snaps.

 “Y … yes uncle, I did,” Fili sobs.

 “And what did you do in town?”

 “We … we bought a few things … Sweets and ... “ he catches Kili’s eye telling him to hold his tongue. He feels guilty for dropping his new friend in it and decides to finish with, “And we went to see the big tree.”

 “I see,” Thorin says. He turns to Kili. “Is that what happened?”

 "Yes, sir, it is," Kili says, feeling a sudden relief at the blond admitting the truth.

 “Right,” Thorin says, trying to keep his cool. “And Fili, did Kili push you when you first got to Erebor?” Now that they are here he might as well get all the cards onto the table.

 “N-no, uncle,” Fili whispers, bowing his head in shame as he feels his cheeks burn.

 “And why did Kili shout at you?”

 “B-because ... “ he looks at his feet, not daring to look at any of the people around him, knowing he has let them all down. “Because I broke a bauble and made Maurice cry.”

 Thorin puts a hand on Fili’s shoulder. “Thank you for being honest, Philip. That was the honourable thing to do.” He turns back to his brother. “So here we have it. To me it sounds like the boys have had a nice day together and are actually getting along, when only yesterday you were complaining that Kili was not being nice enough to your son. Exactly what is your problem this time, brother?” he says curtly, crossing his arms as he remains standing in between Kili and Frerin.

 Frerin can feel himself colouring at the truth, guilt washes over him at striking the boy. He looks into his face and can see the horror in his eyes as the servant clings onto his master’s coat. "I may have misjudged the situation" he admits feeling shame at his actions.

 “I should say,” Thorin nods. “The boy is damaged, you have seen what his father did to him. Your actions were unacceptable and I do not care whether he is a servant or not I think you should apologise.”

 "Still, that... that boy should not have tempted Philip. My son knows not to walk off on his own," he  snarls.

 Thorin raises an eyebrow at his foolish brother and smirks. “Your son, Frerin, is sixteen years old! Just a few hours ago you were telling me how you look forward to him courting a young woman called Charlotte. Will you be holding his hand still when he takes her to their marital bed?” he mocks. “You talk about him like he’s a toddler. He is of age, let the boy be. No harm has come to them. Yes, they should have told us where they were going, both of them. But I can see now why they didn’t.” He points an accusing finger at his younger brother. “Because Fili would have known you would not have given your permission from the off. You and your wife,” he turns to Frances, “are suffocating your son!”

 “How dare you!" Frerin shouts at his brother. "What gives you the right to lecture me on how to raise my son?"

 “What gives you the right to lecture me on how to manage my staff?” Thorin retorts. “And meanwhile Kili is still awaiting your heartfelt apology.”

 Frerin just stares angrily at his brother then turns on his heels. "Come, Philip," he orders.

 Fili looks at the brunet and then at his uncle. Having Thorin there gives him the confidence to stand up to his father. “No,” he says softly. “I would like to stay and help Kili with the Christmas preparations.” He immediately lowers his gaze, waiting for his father to start shouting again.

 I told you to come with me young man," Frerin says sternly.

 Fili looks at his uncle again for support, who gives him a curt smile in encouragement. “No father,” he says, a little louder this time. He turns to his mother, hoping to find more sympathy there. “Mother, please can I help Kili? I was having fun. It is supposed to be the Christmas holiday. I never get to have any fun anymore.”

 Frances looks to her husband " Frerin can't we just allow him this once?" she says quietly.

 "Fine," the blond doctor snarls and storms down the corridor, shortly followed by his wife.

 Fili stares at his uncle and the brunet boy who is still half hiding behind him. He feels himself shake a little until Thorin wraps his arms around his nephew.

“That was a brave thing to do, Fee,” Thorin smiles, soothing the boy. “To stand up for what you want and to tell the truth even when you know it might get you in trouble.”

 Fili looks up at his uncle. “Th … thank you. I don’t like father being angry with me,” he sighs.

 “I know,” Thorin says. “I will talk to him. He will not be angry for long, you know he never is,” he reassures his nephew, who nods gratefully. “Now go and help Kili with whatever you two had planned,” he grins, astounded by how the two youngsters had gone from wishing to drink each other’s blood to seemingly being best friends.

 Kili  looks up at his lover and suddenly wants to wrap his arms around him. "Thank you," he says. S _crew it,_ he thinks and wraps his arm around his lover.

 Thorin is momentarily shocked by the gesture, but then smiles and ruffles Kili’s hair. “Alright, you two, out of my sight,” he jests. “You two cause me no end of trouble this holiday. And next time you decide to go off on a jolly, for goodness sake, please tell someone!”

 " Yes Mr Oakenshield," Kili laughs and looks at the blonde. "Come on, Fee," he says and they leave the hall for the kitchens.


	37. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin written by LadyLuna  
> Frerin and Kili written by witchesdelite

Thorin knocks on the door to his brother’s chambers. “Frey, it is me,” he calls and waits for a response.

Frerin opens the door still a little wound up from there argument earlier. "Good evening brother," he says in greeting, forcing a little smile onto his lips.

Thorin takes a deep breath. “Can I come in?”

Frerin shrugs. “ If you want to” he replies realising how childish he sounds he adds “ of course”.

The elder of the two brothers decides to be the first one to give in as he pulls his younger sibling into a hug. “Let’s not argue,” he says in a soft tone. “It is Christmas and we get to spend so little time together as it is.”

Frerin lets out a relieved sigh. “ I hate arguing with you,” he admits embracing his brother back. “You are right, Christmas is time for the family. Let’s make it a good one.”

Thorin nods and smiles, deciding not to bring up the argument any more this evening. “Are you ready to go then?”

Frerin nods he thinks about asking how Kili is but decides better on it. “Are you ready?” he asks.

“Yes,” Thorin nods and walks ahead of his brother towards the front door where their staff stand at the ready with their outdoor coats, including Kili. He smiles when he sees Fili standing next to him, carrying a little plate of Christmas cookies, which he holds out to his father. Thorin had suggested to him with a wink that his father used to have a terrible sweet tooth as a child and that it was sure to get him back on side if he shared some of their lovely treats with him.

Frerin smiles when he sees the biscuits and walks over to his son with a little smile on his face. He notes how the brunet backs away a little as he approaches near them, a wave of guilt ebbs over him.” Did you make these?” he asks taking one off the plate and taking a little bite out of it. “It’s delicious.”

Fili beams, happy that his father was no longer shouting and was praising him again. “Kili showed me how to make them,” he smiles at the brunet, who avoids his gaze.

Frerin looks at the brunet a little surprised at his skill in the kitchen, Kili has shifted himself behind the other members of staff so he is semi out of sight. “ Well, they taste superb,” he says with a little smile.

“Right, we had best go then,” Thorin says, happy that Frerin and Fili appear to have reconciled themselves although he is concerned about his beloved and annoyed that his brother has still not apologised to him. “We do not want to keep the vicar waiting on Christmas Eve.” As he watches the others step out into the cold he brushes his hand along Kili’s.

Kili smiles up at his lover, he can’t help but feel a little fearful about setting foot inside a church again, but also sadness at the fact that the last time he had set foot in the little village church he was burying his mother. At the thought of his mother he suddenly wants to sob realising this will be the first time in years his mother had not been to mass.

“I love you,” Thorin whispers in Kili’s ear, knowing he is playing with fire saying it so openly at the risk of someone overhearing. But he wants Kili to know just how much this means to him, to have him go to Christmas mass with him and to be by his side this Christmas, knowing how difficult this all has been for him so far.

Kili gives his beloved a little smile “ and I you” he says quietly, wanting to take his beloved's hand in his. He watches Thorin’s family walk in front of them. “You best catch them up,“ he says a little sadly, knowing he will never be able to take his place beside his lover.

+++

Thorin tries hard not to yawn as the vicar talks animatedly about the birth of Christ the Saviour. As he had said to Kili it was not that he did not believe in God, but church services bored him to tears. He did not understand why in this day and age when large parts of the population could read, they still needed someone to recite the Bible back to them. As they stand up for yet another hymn he feels his eyes wander over to where Kili is sat on the row behind them.

He quickly returns his eyes to the hymnbook but he feels his heartbeat speed up a little. Kili had thrown him that look … _Seriously, in church?! Surely not …_ But he is struggling to read the words on the page as he feels the heat creep up into his neck.

Kili can feel himself begin to harden as he gazes at his handsome love. He cannot help but picture them entwined together. He thinks of the train ride down and can feel his cheeks burning, he shifts on the pew trying to keep his modesty.

Thorin throws another furtive glance back, catching Kili’s dark gleaming eyes. He can see the blush clear enough in his face. And the way that he is shifting is telling him enough about what state Kili is in. He feels the arousal stir between his legs and is both embarrassed and excited by the silent erotic tension between them.

The brunet notes a little smirk on Thorins face. He realises Thorin has noticed his state of arousal, he thinks of escaping to sort himself out and looks at the exit wondering if he can make a quick escape without anyone else noticing.   

Thorin takes a slow breath and is relieved to be sat back down, shifting himself a little to relieve the discomfort in his slacks. The idea of Kili’s excitement alone is enough to make him want to rip the clothes off the youngster and the fact that they cannot even properly look at each other makes it all the more erotic. He steals another glance towards his beloved and throws him a little warning look as he can see him look for an escape. _Patience, my little one_ , he tries to convey to him. But then he cannot help tease his horny brunet a little as he slowly rubs his thumb over his bottom lip, ensuring Kili sees the gesture.

Kili can't help but let out a little groan as he watches as his lover teases him; his cock bulges against his breeches and he crosses his leg over his knee in an attempt to cover himself. _Think of something else,anything else,_ he tells himself but finds himself picturing Thorin’s large hands on his shaft.

 _How much longer is this guy going to talk about the same old yadayada?_ Thorin begins to get a little frustrated, already regretting that he had agreed to this when he could be spending Christmas Eve doing much more satisfying things. _No! You cannot do that. Not whilst your family are here_. He sighs softly and smiles courteously at his sister-in-law. But as soon as she has turned away from him, he pretends to scratch an itch on his neck, softly running his fingers up to his hairline and tracing the bit under his ear that he likes Kili to kiss, feeling a shiver run through him as he knows Kili is watching him.

Kili has the urge to jump over the pew and rip off all his clothes. He cannot help but bring his hand down to his shaft, brushing over it a little trying to relieve a little pressure on his rock hard cock. He lets out a little moan which he disguises as a cough when a elderly lady glances at him. _Later. Just hold on a few hours,_ he promises himself.

Thorin sighs when the final hymn is sung and they get to leave the little village church. He grabs his brother’s arm. “I will catch up with you in a moment,” he says, trying to keep his voice even.

Frerin looks at his brother a little confused but nods. “Come darling, let us have a nightcap” he says to his wife linking her arm and walking out of the church. 

Thorin looks at Kili, who grins back at him. “Follow me,” he says under his breath and heads out of the church at a brisk pace. As soon as he steps into the dark cold night, he takes a sharp turn right, away from the gathered congregation who are all wishing each other a Merry Christmas. He walks far enough into the darkness behind the church, aided only by the light falling through the stained glass windows that he is out of sight from the others.

Kili looks at his lover with a grin. “You're a cruel bastard,” he jests, kissing his lips

Thorin grabs Kili into his arms and pulls him further into the shadows, answering his accusation with his tongue pressed deep into his warm mouth whilst he ruts himself against Kili.

KIli embraces the kiss and moves his hands to Thorin's backside.He begins exploring his lover's mouth with his tongue. “ I want you so bad” he gasps as his love begins kissing his neck, “My love, meet me in my mum’s shack in an hour," he gasps forcing himself to pull away.

Thorin is startled when Kili pulls away,his body left tingling and his desire rock hard. "But  ... Alright," he nods, his mind buzzing with anticipation. He knows they shouldn't be so careless, but Kili makes him pulse with want.

In the carriage back to Erebor Thorin does his best to make polite conversation with his family and he listens with genuine glee as Fili chatters excitedly about how he is looking forward to Christmas Day. But all the while his mind is racing, thinking of Kili, of his delightful young body, of pressing kissing all over his heated skin and of rubbing themselves together until they spend....

Kili walks over to his lover the moment the carriage stops taking his hat and coat from him, he gives him a smile then hastily runs of, he can't help but grin at the thought of his beloved face when he opens the door and sees the little hut transformed.

As Kili enters he can't help but smile as he finds a roaring fire and a black suit hung up _Balin you old romantic_ he thinks putting the suit on then smoothing down his hair nervously ,  he sits on the bed waiting with his eye's trained on the door.

Thorin wishes his brother, wife and nephew a pleasant evening and excuses himself, saying he is going to retire early. He walks up to his room and changes out if his suit,  running a wash cloth quickly over his chest, under his arms and over his privates before putting in a freshly laundered shirt  and the navy suit Kili had said he liked. He puts some cologne on his neck and brushes his hair, checking himself over in the mirror. He has no idea what Kili has planned but he feels like he's going in a first date.

Kili checks his watch and feel nerves begin to kick in. _He has tasted your cooking before, seen you naked before., stop panicking!_ he scolds himself. He gets off the bed and pours two glasses of champagne ready for them. He downs his, trying to give himself a bit of courage and sits back down on the bed trying to remain calm. _He will love it. He loves you! Calm down!_

When Thorin carefully opens his bedroom door and scans the hallway he feels like a naughty child sneaking out of bed whilst his parents are asleep. He notes with satisfaction that there is no-one about. Frerin and his wife are probably enjoying some private time - although he quickly pushes that thought from his mind - and he expects they have sent Fili to his room also.

He creeps down the stairs. careful not to make too much noise and almost has to stifle a giggle as he does so, thinking how ridiculous it would look if someone would find him, the master of the house, sneaking around like a burglar.

Slowly he turns the door handle of the front door and steps out into the night, holding the windlight up to light the path before him. He wraps his coat a little closer around him as the icy wind whips his face and he can feel a couple of snowflakes land on the tip of his nose. Indeed the path is now completely covered in a thick blanket of snow and he feels his feet sink into the soft cold substance as he walks on.

As he gets closer he can see the warm glow coming from the old cottage, and it somehow makes the place look cosy and inviting. He quickly throws a glance over his shoulder into the darkness behind him, but he cannot see any lights following him. He holds up his candle and smiles as he sees the wreath of holly and golden ribbons on the door, similar to the decorations in the manor house that Kili had put together. With a grin on his face and his heart pumping fast as his mind pictures his beautiful beloved by the fire he slowly pushes the door open.

As soon as he steps inside his mouth falls open. There is a welcoming fire crackling in the old hearth and the rest of the place is beautifully decorated, like a mini version of what Kili had pulled off inside the Hall. What seems like hundreds of little candles appear to be lighting the place up, making it feel instantly warm and romantic. “This is amazing,” he whispers, initially to himself, but then he spots Kili, sat on the bed in the corner beaming back at him. “Oh Kili, this is beautiful!” he exclaims, his throat feeling thick with emotion as he walks up to his beloved. “ _You_ are beautiful!”

Kili can feel himself blush at the compliment. He rushes over to his lover and wraps his arms around his waist “I wanted to make our first Christmas together perfect, Fili and Maurice helped me bake and Mr Balin helped me clean”.

“Blimey,” Thorin grins in surprise that Kili had rallied all these people to achieve this completely unexpected surprise. “Why this is such a wonderful surprise,” he smiles. Then he takes Kili’s face between his large hands and kisses him full on the mouth. “I love you!” he beams. “I love you so much!”

“And I you. You make everything about my life perfect because you are in it,” he says kissing his love’s cheek. He then remembers his lover’s Christmas present and reaches for the box  on the bed side unit “ This is for you. It’s not much, but I hope you like it,” he says, placing it in his love’s hands “ I made it”.

“You made this?” Thorin stares at the beautifully decorated  box. He traces his fingers over the fine carving, tracing the letters that make up his name. “Kili, this is magnificent! Is there anything you cannot do?!” he presses a kiss on his cheek. “Who taught you to write my name?”

“Mr Balin helped me, he um… he knows about us,” Kili admits quietly, unsure how his beloved will find this piece of information.

Thorin jolts and he stares at the young brunet. “He … he knows? How?”

“ I er… I kind of let slip,” he admits looking at the floor. “He,s okay with it though,” he reassures his lover. “He said as long as we are happy, he is”.

Thorin smiles and shakes his head. “Good old Balin,” he smirks. Of all the people to find out, he would be the one he knows he can trust. Then he ruffles Kili’s hair and looks back at the box, running his large hands over the lid once more. “It’s … perfect. I don’t know what to say …” Thorin says, genuinely gobsmacked.

"Open it," the teen encourages excitedly.

Thorin does as he is told and carefully pulls open the lid. He buries his head in his hands, the box balanced on his lap, as he realises exactly what Kili has done. “Kili, it is too much,” he utters in a broken whisper as he fights his tears. Inside the box are a little ink bottle, some rolled up parchment, a little leather bound envelope box and a beautiful fountain pen with a peacock feather at the end. But as he peeks through his fingers what really floods his chest with emotions is a little note in Kili’s unpractised, childlike writing that says _LOVE YOU. KILI_.

Kili looks at his love. "Are you okay?" he asks, a little concerned about his reaction. "I just thought with what happened to your other kit ..."

“Kili, it is beautiful,” Thorin smiles, rubbing his eyes. “It is even more beautiful than my previous kit.” He presses firm kisses on both of Kili’s hands. Then he begins to laugh. “Please tell me you did not ask Balin to teach you how that write that too.”

Kili laughs. "No, I remembered how to write Kili and the rest I found in a book and struggled with for about three hours. Thank God I spelled it right," he sighs, feeling relief flood through him.

“You are so incredibly clever,” Thorin smiles, wrapping his arm around Kili’s shoulder and carefully pulling him close. “I am afraid I am nowhere near as skilled as you,” he sighs. “So this is not as original as the amazing gift you have given me. But I did get you a present too. I was going to wait till tomorrow, but this really is perfect, so …” he opens up his suit jacket and takes a little box out of the inside pocket. “I know you liked my ring, what with you taking it and all …” He hands Kili the little box, feeling nerves flutter through him.

Kili slowly opens the velvet box and cannot help let out a gasp of surprise  as he looks at a silver ring with a blue jewel encrusted in the centre, a beautiful, finer version of Thorin's large ring. "It … it’s amazing," he can feel tears rolling down his face and happiness flood through his heart.

“I know it is not perfect,” Thorin says softly, with a heavy sadness in his heart. “You cannot wear it in public. But I had hoped perhaps you would keep it on your person. As a token of my love …”

"Of course I will. I will never let it out of my sight," he says, putting it on his finger and admiring it. "You spoil me," he says, reaching up for Thorin’s face and kissing his lips. "Do you know you are the love of my life? I cannot even imagine my life without you.”

“You are the most beautiful human being,” Thorin whispers, pulling his lover’s lips against his. “And I promise you I will always be here to look after you and make you as happy as I can, my beautiful love.” He runs his hands through Kili’s hair, pressing their lips together once more as he kisses him passionately.

Kili smiles " You do make me happy. I am the happiest man alive when I’m with you," he blushes. Then he points to the spread. "Shall we eat?” he asks, holding his lover’s hand and leading him over to the table.

Thorin takes a seat on the creaky old wooden chair and he thinks how perfect this is. That no matter how much silverware and crystal goblets and expensive wine there will be served at the main house tomorrow, he knows that it will not come close to the pure delight of this simple setting with just him and the man he loves.

"Okay, so we have mince pies, ham and pickle sandwiches, chocolate and vanilla puffs, quiche, almond and cherry tartlets, homemade bread, mixed cheeses, mixed cold meats and of course champagne," he says pouring them both a large glass. 

Thorin’s mouth waters as he looks around the table at all the delicious food that Kili had prepared. “Exactly how many people are you expecting tonight?” he jokes as he picks up a mince pie.

" Just us," Kili laughs. "Although I promised Maurice the leftover cakes. I think he and Fili would have eaten all the puffs if I had let them," he smiles taking a sandwich of the plate.

Thorin laughs and then grabs Kili’s hand, placing a kiss on the ring he had bought him. “Thank you, Kili,” he says with a huge smile on his face. “I cannot remember the last time I felt this happy. I dread this time of year more than anything, but you have made it perfect.”

"I will always be here to make it perfect, even if we do have to be master and servant," he says with a sad smile. "I’m so glad you are enjoying your surprise I've been worried" he admits.

“Why?” Thorin asks once he has finished chewing, before loading his plate with a selection of the offerings.

"Well, my first worry was where to do this. Your bedroom we would have had to watch our voices, my room we risked someone walking in. Then Mr Balin suggested here," he tells him taking a pie from the pile. "You know he really only wants you happy, it’s sort of sweet," he says taking a sip of champagne. "This is delicious."

Thorin holds his out to clink it against Kili’s. “To us,” he smiles and takes sip. “Goodness, Kili, this is good champagne!” he compliments. “You have good taste!”

Kili takes a sip. “It’s lovely, but prefer absinthe though,” he jokes. “And it should be as cost enough. I asked Fili to help me and told him only the best would do”.

Thorin smiles. “I am really happy that you and Fili got on so well today. And I am so sorry for what my brother did to you,” he says, reaching out and brushing his hand across Kili’s bruised cheek.

Kili can't help but flinch as Thorin touches his cheek “ Thats okay. You shouldn't have to apologise, you didn't hit me” he says quietly.

“No, but since my idiot brother hasn’t …” he bites his lip, not wanting to talk about Frerin tonight. And as he helps himself to a piece of fresh bread he grins at his young lover. “You got me all hot under the collar in church earlier.”

“I did?! You were giving me all those sexy looks and symbols,” he says in mock outrage “ I wanted to jump over the pews and rip off all your clothes.”

Thorin groans deep in his throat at that. “Now that would have been interesting …” he almost whimpers in need. “We would burn in hell for sure, but interesting nonetheless,” he chuckles. “And now?” he teases, slowly licking his lips. “What do you want to do now?”

 Kili can feel his face reddening. “Well I was ...I was thinking….,” he says but his voice fades away as he begins to shift nervously and he looks at his hands.

Thorin puts down his napkin and gets to his feet, taking the few steps towards his beloved, pulling Kili to his feet. “Thinking what, my beautiful little prince?” he says heatedly, brushing his hand through Kili’s hair and down his neck. “What would you like me to do to repay you for this amazing evening?”

Kili looks up into his loves beautiful blue eyes “ I.. Iwantyoutomakelovetome” he says in one breath.

Thorin stares at the youngster. He had expected Kili to say something like _what we did before_. “Did … did you say you want me to make love to you?” he says, breathlessly.

Kili nods. “ I love you, I know we are meant to be together , will you make me yours and yours alone?” he asks shifting nervously.

Thorin stares at Kili and only after a moment does he realise his mouth is hanging open a little. He swallows as he gently kneads Kili’s fingers in his hand. “You … Are you sure?” he asks, his voice quivering a little. But when he can see the mix of determination and heat in Kili’s eyes he smiles. “Oh my love,” he says huskily, feeling his arousal stir at the thought alone. “It would be my greatest honour.” He takes Kili’s hands and leads him back towards the bed, where he presses his lips against the brunet’s, slowly massaging them with his own.

Kili slowly slides his tongue into his love’s hot mouth exploring every inch of it, he brings his hands upto his hair and runs his fingers through it. He can feels Thorins need brush against him as he moves himself closer.

Thorin looks deep into Kili’s eyes, feeling love flood through every cell of his body as he threads his fingers into Kili’s hair and cups his head in his large hand as he deepens the kiss. His other hand leaves Kili’s hand moves down Kili’s sleek body and begins to stroke his thigh, moulding the muscle as he teases his way further inwards until he can feel Kili’s hardness brush against his fingers.

Kili lets out a moan as Thorin begins to stroke his cock, He brings his hand to the nape of his neck and strokes along the back of it “ You mean everything to me” he pants as they pull apart, feeling like all the breath has been sucked out of his lungs

Thorin beams at his sweet beloved. “I will make this the most special night,” he promises. “My beautiful sweetheart,” he whispers as he begins to kiss Kili’s neck, brushing his beard softly over the hot skin as his lips nibble at him. Meanwhile  one hand presses harder in between Kili’s thighs, rubbing and massaging his erection through his slacks as the other fumbles with Kili’s shirt, unbuttoning it blindly.

Kili groans at the caresses to his neck and prick and can feel the older mans fingers gently brush against his chest, electrical sparks rush over his body as he gives into the sensations that he so desperately wants. He runs his hands down his lover’s arms wanting to map out every inch of his body.

Thorin only lets go of Kili’s body to make quick work of his own jacket and shirt. “I … I liked it when you played with my nipples before,” he says softly, feeling a little flushed. He had always just taken what he wanted from his male lovers and this is quite a different experience. But it is exciting nonetheless. He runs his own fingers carefully inside Kili’s open shirt, tracing the outline of his collarbones before he leans back onto the bed.

Kili licks Thorin’s nipple teasingly, then begins to roll it inbetween his teeth smiling as his lover lets out a little moan he moves his hand up to the other one and begins tugging gently enjoying more of his lovers excited groans , he slowly begins stroking his arm with his hand, feeling an excited shiver run down his spine at every little noise coming from his beloved.

“That feels wonderful,” Thorin groans as Kili licks his sensitive erogenous zones again. He runs his hands through Kili’s hair with more urgency now, feeling his erection press hard against his slacks. “Please, love,” he sighs when the strain becomes too much and he reaches for his breeches, pulling open his fly, releasing his hardness from its clothed prison.

Kili takes his lovers shaft in hand and starts moving his palm along the length of his shaft. “Such a beautiful cock” he comments as his beloved lets out a little moan. He moves his other hand up and gently massages his balls.

“Oh God …” Thorin whispers as he closes his eyes and enjoys Kili playing with him. He soon feels his cock starting to weep into Kili’s hand. “Let me help you,” he smiles to his sweetheart, reaching out for his breeches.

Kili can feel his hardness and sighs with relief as his lover begins to unbutton his trousers.

Thorin is so hard and needy now that he almost rips the button of Kili’s trousers as he struggles with the fiddly button in his large hands. But once he has opened his present his heartbeat thumps inside his chest like a drum. “Will you be okay to lie on your back?” he asks with a little concern over Kili’s stitched up back.

Kili nods and moves lying himself on his back “ I'm fine love honestly” he reassures him as he beams up to beloved in eager anticipation. 

Thorin bends himself down and presses his nose up against Kili’s cottons as he carefully pulls down his breeches further, drinking in the smell of his sex. With a soft moan he wraps his lips around Kili’s clothed erection, sucking a wet patch into his underwear.

Kili lets a out a squeal of delight at the unexpected touch and looks down at his lover. "That’s … oh my...." he pants, his words becoming incoherent as his body tingles under his lovers skillful touch and he flings his head back as Thorin continues to caress his clothed hardness. 

Thorin yanks at his own trousers, struggling to pull them down without leaving Kili unpleasured for too long. _Sex is so undignified_ , he chuckles to himself, as he loses his balance and collapses heavy onto Kili’s thigh, his face buried in his lover’s crotch. _But oh god, so nice!_ He licks slowly along the inside of Kili’s thigh whilst his hand is massaging him through his undies. “You smell so good,” he whispers, placing little kisses onto his soft skin.

Kili runs his hands through his love’s hair, moaning and panting as Thorin teases him with his  mouth. "Oh God so good," he groans and pulls a little on his hair. He reaches down for his own cottons and begins to slowly guide them down as Thorin  moves his kisses to his lower abs.

“Tut tut,” Thorin grins. “So eager to move on.” He licks his lips, grinning at the keen teenager. He playfully slaps Kili’s hands away and then pulls hard at his cottons, letting the youngster’s cock bounce free. He sits back and admires his beloved as he lies splayed before him. “Gorgeous,” he sighs wantonly. “Everything about you is perfect.”

Kili looks at his beloved and feels nothing but love for him " Doitmakemeyours, Iwantyou, Ineedyou," he says all in one breath.

“I will,” Thorin moves himself forward, letting out a long slow breath of desire at Kili’s urgent pleas. He takes his heavy member in hand and lets it drop with a slap onto Kili’s thigh. With his eyes focused on the sparkling arousal in Kili’s, he slowly takes two fingers into his mouth and slicks them with spit, before bringing his hand towards Kili’s backside. “Pull up your knees, my Antinous,” he says softly, feeling his head spin at the realisation that this is really happening, that they are really about to have intercourse together.

Kili does as he is asked, exposing himself properly to his gentleman. His heart is racing with nerves and excitement at the thought of his lover being inside him and he begins to twitch with desire and looks down, smiling at his handsome lover.

Thorin uses one hand to spread Kili’s soft rounds, at his slicked fingers run over the sensitive places between them, stroking his taint and the little tendon at the bottom of his sack, before slowly moving down towards that treasure of all treasures. When he looks back at Kili’s face relief washes over him when he sees the smile there, affirming the genuine pleasure that Kili is experiencing also. And slowly he begins to circle his pucker, bending himself forward to spit onto his opening to lubricate him a little more, before he adds a little pressure onto the tight muscle and slips his fingers into Kili’s heat.

Kili lets out a little moan at the intrusion and begins to slowly buck his hips. He can feel Thorin moving inside of him and begins panting, "So nice, my love," he moans still smiling at his lover who is looking at his face. He can see the lust in his eyes which makes him even more handsome and groans. 

"Good my angel," Thorin beams,  glad that so far he's got it right. He gently scissors Kili's opening to relax his entrance for what is to come and his left hand starts to pump his own prick into an aching hardness, smearing his natural essence along his length. "You sure you want to do this?" he asks Kili once more. "You can still say no, my love, and we can just continue to play as we are... "

Kili looks down at his lover " Don't you dare stop," he says beaming at him. "Thorin, I need you," he utters as the sensations becomes so much he thinks he may burst "Please … please,” he begs panting as he bucks his hips.

Thorin feels desire and love race through his veins. He slowly pulls back his fingers and places a soft, wet kiss on Kili’s stomach, feeling the boy’s hardness brush against his cheek. “I will make you mine,” he whispers as he pushes his crown against Kili's entrance. “Mine and mine alone.” Ever so slowly he pushes forward, smiling encouragingly at his beloved and whispering words of love to him as he enters him with his cockhead. "You are so beautiful, Kili. Oooh, so soft and hot.You make me feel so good," he pants as he breaches his rim fully, feeling Kili’s intense heat grip him tight as he pushes his length in further.

Kili feels so full at the intrusion, and pants loudly.For a second he panics, memories of his ordeal threatening him on the peripheral of his thoughts. But he curls his fingers around his lover’s shoulders, grasping hold just behind his neck and runs his fingers gently along his hairline. His lovers dark eyes meet his he can see the heat and desire in them. He forces his body to stay relaxed and slowly feelings of pleasure and delight take over from the discomfort. "Thank you," he whispers, staring at his lover’s perfect features. "Love you."

Thorin carefully moves himself forward, pressing his broad frame down onto Kili's young body. "Thank _you_ ," he whispers through the kisses he presses all along Kili's neck and his jawline. He holds his hips still, allowing Kili to get used to his girth. The feeling of their entwinement is heavenly. The pure thought that they are joined in this most intimate way is making him drunk with passion. "I love you more than I can put into words," he kisses Kili's plump lips. "Is this okay, sweetheart?" he breathes heavily. "Does it feel nice?"

Kili nods. "Yes," he groans as his lover stretches him. "You … you can move now," he says, his breath hitching as he begins to rock his hips against his beloved’s shaft.

Thorin beams into his eyes as he slowly rolls his pelvis and begins to move inside his beloved. "Feels so good," he groans softly, never taking his eyes of Kili's beautifully flushed face. "You’re so tight, my love," he grunts as he speeds up his thrusts just a little. "Absolutely gorgeous," he presses a long kiss on Kili's lips.

The brunet bucks his hips up to match the speed set by his beloved. He had never felt anything this sensational in his life. This was nothing like the torture he had endured before, this was love and pleasure and ...  "Oh.. oh.. my … " he whimpers as his body feels like it’s on fire.

Kili's passionate groans and whimpers are urging his older lover on. "I'm not hurting your back am I?" he checks as he grinds Kili into the mattress and when the youngster briskly shakes his head, biting his lip as his fingers dig into his shoulders, he begins to ride into his lover with increased vigour, causing Kili to whimper loudly when he changes the angle of his thrusts.

Kili lets out a loud cry as a sudden immense delight erupts over his body. "What was that?” he exclaims. “That is ... amazing!"    

Thorin stares at his beloved in surprise. The only other man he's known without paying for the pleasure is Thranduil and even he had never cried out in such delight as Kili is. "I... I don't know what I did... " he flushes and then  watches with excitement as Kili writhes under him as he moves again, his eyes rolling back in ecstasy.

"Oh Thorin ... just … just keep doing that " he orders as he eagerly anticipates the movement again. When it does he screams, “So good!" His whole body tingles and his shaft begins to feel painfully hard as Thorin rubs over something inside him that shoots pleasure right up to the tip of his cock. "Not going to last!" he cries out.

Thorin feels shivers dance across his spine as he enjoys the pleasure Kili seems to be getting from their lovemaking. "Ooh my handsome prince, " he groans as Kili's body grips him even harder around his throbbing length. "Like this?"

Kili screams out again. "Just like that," Kili whines. He leans forward towards his lover’s neck, suddenly an overwhelming desire to mark his gentleman as his own floods through his body, and he starts nippling a mark into his neck.

"Kee!" Thorin moans loudly as the young man sucks at his skin. He can feel the sweat pooling between them as the sparks of passion seem to fly off them. In over twenty years he has never felt so perfectly in tune with a lover, had never felt so high on heat as he shafts himself deeper inside Kili's body, feeling his balls slap against the youngster's soft bottom as they work each other to their peak. "Fetch for me, my love," he cries out in his deep voice thick with lust. "Mark your love onto my skin. "

Kili can feel his balls tighten and his cock twitch. He grasps it and begins to stroke himself. After only a couple of strokes his orgasm is upon him and his seed rushes out of him. "Thorin!" he cries and spurts his pearly essence all over his lover’s stomach and chest.

Feeling Kili tighten and throb around his member as he spills his load for him is all Thorin needs to follow him to his peak. He's never been a quiet lover and he buries his face against Kili's neck as he loudly grunts his release, feeling it pump in great gulfs deep into Kili's lovely body. "My love... " are the only words that manage to form on his lips as he flops down heavily onto his beloved whilst the throb in his member continues to send shivery pulses through his body.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing both of them lay entangled in each others limbs, breathless after their lovemaking. Kili looks at his beloved. "That was incredible, I have never felt anything like that before," he says and kisses his lover’s nose." You are incredible"

Thorin blushes having never been complimented like that about his performance in the bedroom before. "You flatter me too much," he smiles shyly, although inside he's buzzing. He strokes through Kili's knotted and wet hair from their heated exercise. "You are beautiful in every way, Kili, " he kisses him all over. "That was so... wonderful, " he sighs, rolling onto his back and pulling Kili gently onto his embrace. "I love you, Kili." He runs his hands along Kili's neck. "You are my soulmate."

Kili feels overjoyed  at Thorins words and he reaches out for his handsome face and cups it. "I am so lucky to have you, You are the nicest person I have ever met and stunning too.  You are my everything," he says grabbing Thorin’s hand and putting it over his heart."My heart belongs to you. I think it always has," Kili smiles shyly.

"Then I promise to keep it safe forever," Thorin smiles back happily. He closes his eyes and wishes they could just stay like this, forever wrapped up in each other's love as the heat melts away from them. After a few minutes of silence he whispers to Kili, "Did you really enjoy it?"

Kili smiles at him. "I have never screamed that loud in my life. I'm surprised half the house haven't ran down to see whos been killed! Of course I enjoyed it," he laughs and kisses Thorin on the lips. "I have never experienced anything I have enjoyed more! D...did you enjoy it?" he asks suddenly nervous.

"I did," Thorin grins."I never knew it could ever feel this good... " He places a gentle kiss on Kili's cheek. "I've been so worried about it," he admits. "I wanted it to be so perfect after all you've suffered." He snuggles Kili closer into his arms, wrapping him up protectively. "I really had not expected you to allow me this tonight. Thank you for a wonderful Christmas Eve."

"It was perfect, I knew it would be,” Kili beams, happy that his plan had gone so well. "I wanted to do something amazing for you, give you the best Christmas memory" he admits. He can feel love radiating from Thorin’s body. " I'm so happy " he says kissing his lover’s chest and curling his fingers into the coarse dark hair.  

"Anyone who says that two men cannot truly love each other is an idiot," Thorin states firmly. "I love you and I will till the end of my days, no matter what happens." Then he chuckles softly. "I sound like a romantic old fool don't I? I bet you never thought you'd see that side of me when you first started working for me!"

“Hell, I was scared witless of you when I first started working for you, not even joking," Kili grins joining their hands. "When I dropped that box of medications I thought you were going to kill me. I was already convinced you hated me," he laughs and looks up at his gentleman. "I never thought you could fall for someone like me.”   

Thorin runs his large hands slowly through Kili’s hair, thinking back to those early encounters. “I did not know how to act around you,” he admits. “I had lived my life in solitude after Arwen had passed away, minding my own business whilst everyone tiptoed around me. And then there was you, causing trouble from the off and yet showing such unexpected courage as you asked me for a job. You remind me so much of me sometimes, my love, and it just makes me think what life would be like for me if I was not born with a silver spoon in my mouth.” He turns to face his young beloved. “Am I really that much a scary, moody old man?” he raises a concerned eyebrow.

“No, not now I know you,” Kili smiles. "And I never thought you were old, just scary, very very scary. My ma used to say that if I annoyed you, you would send me to prison, and I believed her up til I was around ten," he laughs

Thorin cannot help but chuckle at that. “So your mother made me the bogeyman to keep you from getting into trouble?”

"Hell yes! I thought if I even looked at you wrong I would be in trouble."

“I wonder what she would say now …” Thorin says softly, staring at the ceiling. “Your mother … About us I mean.”

"I think she would be pleased for us. She always said the most important thing is to be happy and you do make me so very happy," he says, kissing Thorin’s large warm hand.

Thorin smiles faintly. “I would like to think that too,” he sighs. _You have no idea, have you, my love? How the real world works and thinks about how we feel about each other._ He will not say it. It is what he loves more than anything Kili, his innocence and naivety and the fact that to him their feelings are only the purest and most beautiful. He scoops his beloved back into his arms and snuggles him close against him. “You make me so happy too. I wish we could stay here forever,” he places little kisses all over his beautiful face.

Kili giggles at Thorin’s playful touches. "Me too," he says then kisses his beloved’s neck.

“Mmmm,” Thorin hums contently as he sinks back into the pillows. “We will be doing more of this back in London,” he smirks to himself as he can feel his eyes close in the blissful relaxation after their physical exertion. He knows they cannot stay here. But this is so comfortable and they can snooze for just a little while before they have to return to their separated life.

"I look forward to it," Kili purrs and reaches up kissing his lover’s lips. "I love you, Thorin," he whispers and feels sleep creep up on him as he cuddles into his beloved’s chest.

“Love you too, little Kee,” Thorin whispers back as he begins to drift off.


	38. Caught!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Frerin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin, Balin and Fili written by LadyLuna

Kili can feel the warmth of his lover’s arms wrapped around him in a protective embrace he snuggles in closely thinking about their perfect night together. He suddenly feels a wave of exhilaration.  " Merry Christmas, Thorin" he says excitedly placing a kiss on his lips.

Thorin opens his eyes. He had slept well, his dreams filled with passionate thoughts of making love to his young lover and as he looks into the excited brown eyes of his beloved he knows it that his dreams were all too true. He smiles lovingly at the brunet. “Merry Christmas, my little prince. Mmm, we did wonderful things last night,” he snuggles the young man closer in his embrace, wishing to just fall right back to sleep as they are.

Kili can feel a slight blush creep up on his neck. "We did and you were magnificent, my stallion," he purrs looking into his lovers sparkling blue pools.

Thorin takes a shuddering breath as Kili flirts with him. He bends himself forward to taste his love on his lips again when suddenly reality sinks in. He flicks his head around the shack and begins to fumble for his clothes, looking for his pocket watch. “Kili, we have to get up,” he flusters. “We must get back to the house before anyone wakes up!”

Kili looks at his lover’s panicked face and all the romance goes in an instant. He slowly gets out of bed and begins to get dressed, trying to hide his disappointment. "Yes you're right,” he says finally and holds out his beloved’s watch.

“Damn,” Thorin growls under his breath when he sees what the time is. _Curse this sneaking around!_ Right now he wishes they were back in London and they could spend the day in bed, kissing, cuddling and making sweet love. “I will never forget this wonderful present,” he hastily thanks his lover as he begins to pull on his breeches. You're so special. "

" You’re welcome," he says feeling anything but special and lets out a sad sigh.  He knows it isn't his beloved’s fault they have to be so secretive And hastily button's his shirt. "So whats the plan for today?" he asks, trying to sound happy as he wraps his arms around Thorin's neck.

Before Thorin has a chance to respond the door flies open. "Kili, are you here?  It's Christm... " Fili's words starve on his tongue as he stares in shock at his new friend who has his arms wrapped around his uncle, sat on the unmade bed, each half dressed.

"Fili I.. Er.. We were, " he panics looking at Thorin's shocked face and unable to think what to say. "We were only just ..." then stops, wondering how to explain the situation.

“Fili, wait!” Thorin attempts as he quickly tucks his shirt in, but the blond teenager is already out of the door, running away as fast as he can. “Hell!” Thorin curses. “Go to the house,” he turns to Kili. “Report to Balin, help out with whatever needs doing for Christmas lunch. I will go find him.”

"Yes, sir," Kili says getting into work mode instantly. _God, what the earth have I done?_ he curses himself running off to the house to find Mr Balin.  

Thorin’s heart is thumping right up in his throat as he chases after Fili. He is angry with himself that they had been so careless. Kili’s surprise had been the most wonderful night, but they should not have stayed there. It had been foolish to fall asleep in the shack, to believe that it was ever safe for them to enjoy such intimacies right under the noses of friends and family.

His worst fear is that Fili has run straight back to the house. Maybe has even already told his father about what he had seen. And he cannot even begin to imagine how that conversation will go. If Frerin had an issue with Kili before to the point of raising his hand at him, what in God’s name will he do when he finds out the brunet has lain with his brother? He just hopes - prays - that Fili has not told him yet. That instead he has gone to the one place Thorin knows to look for him - the old folly at the far end of the estate. It was the place he and Frerin used to run off to when they were kids if they wanted privacy. And he had been the one to show it to Fili, years ago, finding the place dilapidated like so many other buildings on the estate after he had stopped caring about life in general. But Fili had been taken by its private charm and strange, alost spiritual energy as much as he had.

“Fili?” he calls out softly when he finally reaches the strange arc that once overlooked the manor house, before the wild had taken back its share of the estate.

“Go away!” an angry sob comes from within the corner of the old structure and Thorin breathes a sigh of relief.

“Fili, please,” he takes a few steps forward and spots the blond huddled in the corner of the building, his knees drawn up to his chest, so reminiscent of the way Kili curls himself up when he is upset. “We need to talk.”

“No, go away!” the blond snarls at him. “I don’t want to talk! I cannot even look at you right now!”

Thorin slowly sinks himself down next to his nephew, who angrily wipes the tears from his face. He draws up his long legs also and they sit like this in silence for a few minutes. “Fili, what you saw …” Thorin eventually begins carefully.

“I don't want to hear it!!” Fili shouts out, pressing his hands to his ears. Then he begins to sob. “He is my friend!” he heaves, tears flowing free for his eyes now. “I cannot believe you did that! You are disgusting!”

Thorin shrinks back at the venomous words. “I …” he swallows his words, ensure what to say that would make this any better.

“Why?” Fili whispers softly once his tears are starting to run dry.

“Because I love him,” Thorin answers honestly, his voice soft with a slight tremble to it.

“No! You cannot love him!” Fili’s anger flares and he begins to beat his fists against Thorin’s upper arm and then his chest. “He’s a boy! He is my friend!!”

Thorin accepts the abuse, feeling nothing but heartache fill up his chest. For his nephew, who feels betrayed by him. For his lover, who feels abandoned and shoved aside. And for himself for finding love again in the only place where he never should have. “I know he is,” he whispers, as he carefully folds an arm around Fili’s shoulders. “But he was my friend first.”

At that Fili looks up into his uncle’s sad grey-blue eyes. “I don’t understand …” he sniffles.

Thorin slowly shakes his head. “There is nothing to understand, Fee,” he says, brushing the stray tears from his cheeks. “We do not choose who we fall in love with.”

 “Is that why he’s your valet?” Fili suddenly realises why his father had questioned his uncle’s decision to employ Kili. “Does my dad know?”

“Yes, it is partly why Kili is my valet. And no, Frerin does not know.” He cups Fili’s face in his hands. “And he must never know, Fee. You are right, my feelings for Kili are … frowned upon. That is why we are keeping it a secret. Please will you keep our secret?”

Fili stares at his uncle for a while. He is not sure about that, not sure at all. He is not daft. He knows that whatever his uncle and the servant boy were doing was wrong. But then he has also noticed the change in his uncle. Over the years, since Aunt Arwen had died when Fili was but a toddler, he had become increasingly withdrawn and short tempered. “So when father said there was a lady friend …” he concludes.

Thorin nods. “Not a lady friend,” he smiles sadly. “But still someone I love very dearly.”

“I think it is wrong,” Fili snaps, crossing his arms defiantly.

“Okay,” Thorin says sadly. “I will have to accept that. There are a lot of people who will think it so, including your father.”

Fili is surprised by that. His uncle accepts his opinion, even when it goes against his own. He actually treats him like an equal, like an adult. And it makes him care for him even more. “I won’t say anything,” he whispers eventually, letting his head hang.

“Thank you, Fee,” Thorin pulls his nephew close, giving him a strong hug. “I am sorry you had to find out that way.”

“But that does not mean I think it’s okay,” Fili adds softly.

“I know,” Thorin sighs sadly, absentmindedly stroking his hair. _You and the rest of the world …_

+++

Kili walks through the front door and up to Mr Balin, worry etched across his brow. “Good morning," he says quietly to the elderly man.

“Morning Kili,” Balin frowns at the youngster. “Are you alright?”

Kili tries so hard to stop tears from falling from his eyes."I have wrecked everything" he sobs.  

“Oh dear,” Balin sighs and grabs the youngster by the arm and drags him into one of the empty rooms, closing the door behind them. “Tell me what happened,” he orders Kili.

“The buffet went perfect. We exchanged gifts. Thorin loved the box and the meal," he tells him, wishing they had left the evening there. "Then we … ehm embraced … on the bed,” he flushes, “and we fell asleep in each other’s arms and woke up and... and Fili walked in," he buries his face in his hands.

“Oh dear,” Balin says again, this time more to himself. “Where is young master Oakenshield now?” he asks the young man.

"Thorin has gone after him" he says quietly. "You should've seen his face. We had only just become friends and he's Thorin’s nephew and …. Jesus, it was a stupid idea," he utters.  

“Aye, perhaps it was,” Balin says. “But Mr Oakenshield appreciated the evening, yes?”

Kili nods " He loved it and his present" he says then remembers the ring he had bought him. "He gave me this" he says smiling slightly at the ring and showing his old friend.

“Why aren’t you a lucky young man,” Balin smiles as he inspects the ring. “Your gentleman sure likes to spoil you,” he grins. Then he looks seriously at Kili. “You had best put that away somewhere safe now. Go and clean yourself up and then report to the kitchen. The master has told me you are to oversee the food that is being prepared. I will go and find young master Fili and Mr Oakenshield. Don’t fret. I am sure all will be fine.”

" If I have mucked up their relationship I will never forgive myself" he says and leaves the room to change his outfit, hoping That Fili will not be too mad at his actions.  

By the time Frerin and Frances appear in the lounge, Thorin and Fili are already sat waiting for them. They had walked back to the manor in awkward silence and Thorin can feel nerves churning inside his belly, hoping that his nephew will keep his word and not mention the incident of this morning. He feels genuinely mournful that Fili had to find out about him and Kili that way, especially as the boys just seemed to be getting along. And he hopes to God he has not ruined things between them.

“Good morning, brother, Frances,” he smiles courteously.

"Good morning Thorin and a Merry Christmas!" he smiles. “Are you ready to open your present?” he asks his son.

“Morning father,” Fili says softly, his previous excitement about Christmas all but gone. “Yes please,” he adds softly.

Frances notices her sons mood and immediately and frowns. Normally Fili is bouncing with excitement of Christmas morning and this year he had been especially excited to open his presents. "What's wrong darling?" she asks, wrapping her arms around him.

“Nothing,” Fili shrugs. “Can we just open the presents please?”

"Course we can Fee" Frerin says ruffling his sons hair. "If that's okay with you, Thorin" he asks politely.

“Of course,” Thorin smiles at Fili, who keeps his eyes downcast. “Go for it.”

Frerin leads the way to the huge tree that has tons of presents underneath it. "Would you like to pass them out son?"

Fili sighs but then looks at the huge pile of presents and a hint of a spark returns to his eyes. He nods to the father and kneels down, looking at the carefully wrapped presents underneath the tree. He begins to shuffle the boxes around, until he finds one for his mother. “This one is for you, mum,” he says handing her the little parcel.

Frances beams and rattles the present then carefully pulls of the golden wrappings. "Thank you, it’s beautiful" she says to her husband as she discovers a box with a golden brooch inside shaped like a heart with a small diamond in the centre and leans to give him a kiss.

Fili pulls a face and quickly ducks back under the tree. Next he pulls out a rectangular heavy parcel. He gets to his feet and walks over to his uncle, not daring to look in his eyes. “This is for you, uncle,” he whispers.

Thorin smiles kindly as he takes the present, but feels a stab in his heart for apparently ruining Fili’s Christmas. He slowly unwraps the present to reveal a poetry bundle that he had wanted to get his hands on for some time. It was the present that Thranduil had given him before he had left for his conference and he smiles to himself at the kindness of his American friend. He shows it to his brother, who despite his sour mood, shows a genuine interest in the literature.

Frerin flicks through the titles" who gave you that?" he asks curiously

“My American acquaintance, Thranduil,” Thorin smiles at his brother. He had told him plenty about the engineer and his work, when he had seen his brother previous. Obviously excluding the mention of how they spent most of their time together. Suddenly he feels a pang of worry about seeing his secret lover again. He had promised Kili they would be exclusive and Thranduil did not yet known about his relationship with the handsome youngster. Although he and the American had never committed themselves to each other - their physical relationship was simply based on lust and they both knew that - suddenly he wonder if Thranduil might take the rejection not as well as he had initially thought.

"That was kind of him, I must meet this friend of yours he sounds like a very interesting fellow" he comments feeling himself warm towards his brother a little " id be interested to hear about his work sounds fascinating"  he says.

“I think you would get on well,” he means genuinely. Regardless of their secret joint interest, Thranduil was pleasant company and had many stories to tell, both about his time in America and his work in Britain. “You and Fili must come and visit me in London sometime.”

Frerin smiles at his brother’s offer. "I would like that. It’s been years since I last came to the capital and I think Fili would love all the trains; we might just take you up on that one," he smiles watching his son unwrap his hunting knife kit.

“Oh wow!!” Fili cries out in excitement and beams up at his father, suddenly his spirit returned. “This is amazing! Thank you so much!” he flies around his father neck and then gives him mother a kiss. He turns to his uncle and hesitates. “Are we still going hunting tomorrow, uncle?” he asks softly.

“Of course we are,” Thorin grins at him, relieved to see his sparkle returned. “I cannot wait for you to show me your shotgun that you have told me so much about already.”

 "Your uncle is a top hunter Fili, he will be able to teach you a lot," Frerin tells his son and watches as he jumps with excitement.

Thorin smiles at his brother for the compliment, relieved that the atmosphere is turning festive once more. They continue to unwrap the other presents, most of which are for Fili, including the expensive riding boots that Thorin had bought him. He watches with glee as Fili unwraps the last present and holds up a lovely leather bound diary.

"That’s nice, Fili," Frerin comments seeing his son’s happy face as he examines his gift. Where did you get this, Thorin?" he asks looking at his brother.

Thorin looks at his brother with confusion. He thought that he must have bought it; it certainly was not him.

“It is not from uncle Thorin,” Fili says, smiling at the beautiful diary that he had seen in the village yesterday. He had had no idea that Kili had bought it. No one other than family had ever bought him anything so nice and he finds himself stroking the soft leather back of the diary with reverence. “Kili did,” he says softly.

Frerin finds himself jolt with shock. "Why, that was nice of him," he says surprised at the kindness of Thorin’s valet. "You must thank him when you see him," he tells his son.

“I will!” Fili beams and smiles at Thorin, who looks equally surprised. “C .. can I go and find him now?” he asks his father nervously.

Frerin smiles. "Of course you can. Go find your friend," he says, happy at the joy on his sons face.

“Yay!” Fili jumps up and gives his dad a hug before running out of the room.

Thorin gives his brother a reserved smile, not wishing to come across smug.

Frerin turns to his brother, suddenly a bit nervous. "I think I owe the boy an apology. I was completely out of order and must have scared Kili," He admits looking at his hands.

“You did,” Thorin replies. “And I think Kili would appreciate it. He really wanted to impress you and he was very upset after you smacked him yesterday.”

Frerin nods " I shall make one when I next see him" he promises sitting back in his chair.

+++

"That is not how you prepare a goose," Kili says to the chef for the fourth time, feeling himself get annoyed at the stupidity of the woman.

"What do you know of cooking!" the women finally snaps getting irritated at the boy’s presence. " I will go and tell Mr Oakenshield that you are meddling in my cooking," she threatens.

"Then do it" Kili snaps back and watches as the women storms out of the kitchen and lets out a frustrated sigh.

Fili carefully peeks around the corner of the kitchen that yesterday he, Kili and Maurice had been baking cakes in. The smells wafting into his nostrils are wonderful and he can hear his stomach growl.

When he spots the brunet, dressed in his valet’s wear but with an apron bound in front, he almost loses his nerve. He is not sure what to say to the other boy, since they had not yet spoken about what he had walked in on this morning. Maybe Kili is angry with him and does not want to see him. But just as he decides to wait and perhaps thank Kili later for his present, the brunet turns around and looks straight at him.

Kili can feel his face turn red as he spots his blond friend and hurries out of the kitchen. "Fili i'm really sorry about this morning. C-can we talk?” he asks, hurriedly taking off the apron and chucking it on the kitchen counter.

“Sure,” Fili nods, feeling a little worried. But he follows the other teenager towards his room.

Once Kili opens his door he lets the blond walk in first and then follows. He has no idea what he wants to say to Fili but knows he genuinely enjoyed spending time with him and feels awful for what he witnessed " Would you like a cake?" he says offering him some of the buffet leftovers.

Fili shakes his head. Although he is hungry the nerves in his stomach are preventing him from eating. He holds out the present. “Thank you,” he smiles. “I love it!”

Kili smiles back glad that he had at least got that right. "That’s okay, you’re my friend, That’s if you still want to be after this morning?" he says nervously shifting his feet.

Fili can feel his cheeks burn as he remembers the boy sat opposite him dressed in just his shirt and socks, his arms wrapped around his uncle. He lowers his eyes. “I am sorry I ran away,” he whispers. “I … I did not know what to do …”

Kili lets out a sigh of relief " That’s okay. It must have been a shock. Think I would have done the same," he admits and sits on his bed. "But I do love your uncle," he states, looking the blond haired boy in the eyes.

“Uncle told me he loves you too,” Fili says softly. “I … I don’t understand,” he sighs. “How can he love you? He loved Aunt Arwen. My father tells me he loved her very much, that is why he has been so sombre since her death.”

Kili wraps his arm around his confused friend.  And he did love her very much. It’s just he loves me too. I know it’s an odd situation, a man loving another man," he says gently, knowing his friend must find it all very strange.

Fili frowns at that. “I am not stupid you know,” he bites, feeling a little prickly at the younger boy talking to him like he knows nothing of the world. “I know about queers. My father has told me and he says it is wrong and disgusting.” Then he bites his lip, hoping he has not upset his friend again. “Did ... did you have sex?” he blurts out. It is the question that had both intrigued and bothered him the most and the one he had not dared ask his uncle.

Kili shifts awkwardly, unsure if to tell the truth or not. "Yes, it was our first time together," he admits, biting his fingernails nervously, unable to look his friend in the eyes. "I know lots of people would be disgusted at what we have done but for me it was magical," he says quietly.

Fili needs a moment to absorb this information. It is one thing coming to terms with the knowledge that your uncle is a sexual being who lays with men. It is quite another to find that his uncle's lover is a boy his own age whom he had started to see as a friend. “I told uncle I would not tell,” he says eventually. “What I saw.” Then he looks up at Kili again. “I think my uncle must really love you,” he smiles shyly.

Kili smiles back. "I believe he does. And I him. I tried not to fall in love with him, like he tried not to fall for me, but it just happened. And I can't imagine my life without him now," he says then looks to the blond. "Will you still be my friend?" he asks nervously.

“Yes,” the other smiles, relieved too that they are still friends. Then his face drops. “I did not buy you a Christmas present. I am sorry,” he blushes in embarrassment. It had not even occurred to him.

Kili smiles. " The fact that you are still my friend is a good enough present. I thought you would hate me" he admits wrapping his arms around the blonde then pulling away and taking out a cherry tartlet and biting into it. " Sure you don't want one, I put some back that you made for your Ma and Pa too so you can give them to them" he says smiling as the blond tucks into a mince pie.

"Do you want to see my other presents?" Fili chirps excitedly once he's devoured the pie. "We can go play with them if you want?"

"I’d love to but it will have to be later. I have to work today. Got to help with the Christmas dinner" he says sadly and smiles at the his friends sad face. "But Thorin is giving me the afternoon off once dinner is served so we can do whatever you like," he promises.

"Yay!" Fili smiles and suddenly wraps his arms around Kili. "I like having a friend," he says.

"I do too," Kili smiles, then frowns. "What about your friends at home?" he asks.

Fili shrugs. "Don't have any. Friends I had at boarding school all live far away. And I don't get much time to do anything. Mum won't let me go out on my own. And except for Sunday I work at the bookkeeper's office." Then he sighs. “But in the spring I should be getting my placement at medical school, to learn to be a top surgeon like my father.” He knows he should feel happy about such a fantastic opportunity and he knows how privileged he is that his father can afford such a placement. But recently he had started to feel increasingly uncomfortable about the prospect of it.

Kili feels a rush of sympathy for his friend he can relate to being lonely and  can imagine Fili must be very with only his mother, father and their servants not any true people to talk to or have fun with. "Can't be easy, having so much expected from you. How long have you wanted to be a surgeon?"  

Fili stares at the other boy in surprise. "I...  I ehm..." It wasn't really a question of what he wanted to do. His father was paying for his education and it was only proper that he would stop into his father's footsteps. He stares at the floor, confused to have been asked the question.

"You do want to be a doctor?" He asks suddenly unsure if that is what the boy wants to do. "Because you could do anything you know. You got the right education and that" he smiles.

Fili smirks at the brunet. "You and I both know that is not true," he says sadly. "That's why you are a servant boy and I'm going to be what my father expects me to be." He gets to his feet, annoyed of having been reminded of that. "Anyway, don't you have work to do?" he takes on his drilled home air of master again.

Kili turns on his heel angry at his friend's sudden change of tone. "Yes you are right, sir, I'm only a servant after all" he replies in a neutral tone " I will see you later" he adds slightly more friendly and leaves the blond sat on his bed.


	39. Mistletoe and Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili and Frerin written by witchesdelite  
> Thorin and Fili written by LadyLuna

"Dinner is served," Balin announces to his master and his guests and leads them into the grand dining room.

 Thorin walks to his place at the head of the table and smiles at the beautifully laid out table, seeing Kili's hand in every little detail. He lets one of the servant girls pour the appetising wine and raises a glass to his family. "To a wonderful family Christmas!" he toasts.

They all repeat the toast and sip their drinks before one of the older girls slowly approaches the master. "Sir, I relay a message from the chef. She has asked if Mr Durin can keep out of the kitchen as he is interfering," she says nervously.  

Thorin raises a surprised eyebrow at the girl and has to suppress a laugh at the thought of his little Kili throwing his little weight around. "Is that so?" he says evenly. "Why, then please tell the chef that Kili looks after my interests. If he deems the food of insufficient standard then so will I. Tell her to be grateful that my valet had allowed her to correct it before it came to my table. Now leave."

"Yes, sir," the girl gulps and curtsies and runs out of the room.

Frerin raises an eyebrow. "How does Kili know about cooking anyway? " he asks taking a sip of red wine from his glass.

At that Thorin beams. "Dis was a wonderful cook and she's taught the boy well, but he has a natural talent,” he says proudly.

"He showed me how to make cherry tartlets and mince pies and chocolate profiteroles," Fili adds excitedly. "We're going to have those with the tea later!"

Frances smiles at her son proudly. “That’s wonderful Fili I look forward to tasting them." Then turns to Thorin. “I would very much like to taste the boy’s cooking before we leave. Do you think he would make us all dinner one night?” she asks, smiling.

Thorin feels himself glow with happiness and pride. "I think he would feel honoured. Why won't you ask him yourself later. Please,” he holds his hands out. "Enjoy the food."

They all ate way too much, but the food was delicious and perfectly cooked. After the last bowl was finished they all sat back and sipped coffee.

"Well brother, your staff have outdone themselves. That was amazing," Frerin comments, leaning back in his chair.

"I agree," Thorin smiles contently, knowing that it had been his lover's input and oversight that had made it as perfect as it was. "Would you like me to call Kili? So you can offer him your thanks personally?"

Frerin thinks about this for a second; he had hoped to make the promised apologise in private but maybe it would be better in front of his brother so that lad would feel more comfortable. “Yes, please do. I would like to apologise to him also," he says giving his brother an awkward smile.

Thorin nods and flicks his fingers at Balin, asking him to notify Kili to attend to him in the lounge.

When Kili walks into the lounge to find all of the Oakenshield family sat facing him. "You wanted to see me, sir" he says eyeing Frerin nervously _They know! Fili has told them!_ he can feel panic rise up inside him

"Mr Durin," Thorin beams at his secret lover. "I understand there were some problems with the kitchen staff... " he says, eyeing the brunet sternly.

The brunet lets out a huge sigh of relief when he realises that his friend had indeed kept his promise. "They were idiots," Kili says bluntly "They didn't prepare the meat properly, sir," he explains when he remembers his present company.

Thorin struggles to keep the bright smile from his face. "Why, then we're lucky that you were there to rectify the issue," he says warmly. "Because the food was truly exquisite." He quickly swallows the _my love_ that had been on the tip of his tongue.

Kili beams up at his beloved. "I'm so glad you enjoyed it, sir," he replies, full of joy that it had come out perfect. "The key is to soak the bird in red wine," he says.

Thorin smiles happily at Kili, his eyes telling him everything he cannot say out loud. "You have certainly impressed my guests. In fact my sister-in-law has a special request." He looks to Frances for her to repeat to Kili what she'd said to him.

Frances smiles kindly at the brunet as he shifts uncomfortably. "Yes, I know its not exactly in your job description but Thorin was telling us how talented a cook you are and I was wondering if you would agree to cook for us before we go back to Manchester?" she asks, watching the beam on the brunet’s face.

"I’d be honoured to, Mrs Oakenshield. I can prepare something tomorrow night with the game we catch, if that would be ok with you, sir?" he says excitedly, turning to face Thorin.

"My thoughts exactly," Thorin says, feeling a little explosion of love inside his chest at Kili's excitement. "We'll definitely be able to shoot some pheasants. Maybe even a deer if we're lucky. I'm sure whatever it is will be amazing."

Kili nods. "I can work with both, sir. Either venison escalopes in sage and lemon or pheasant with cider and bacon. Both are my mother's recipes with a bit of a twist on it and tastes amazing if I do says so myself," he says giving a little laugh.

"Both sound amazing, young man," Frerin says, giving him a huge smile then looking more serious. "I was wondering if I could talk to you in private, Kili?” he says in a gentle voice.

Kili can feel himself pale and looks at his lover uncertainly, unsure if to go with the man. But when Thorin gives him a nod and an encouraging smile he nods nervously. "Yes, sir," he says and allows himself to be led to a little room of the conservatory.

Frerin turns to the young man and can see the worry in his face. "No need to panic," he says and gives him a friendly smile.

Kili is unsure what to do so he just stays still, as stiff as a board, scared the man will strike at any point. "Sorry sir," he says quietly.

The gentleman looks at the boy a little confused. "What are you sorry for? It is me that is sorry, for striking you yesterday. I had no right and should not have got that angry. I was just worried about my son. Can you forgive me?

Kili looks the man in the eyes trying to decide if he was sincere or not. After a couple of seconds he can see the man's guilt. "Yes sir, I can," he says with a shy smile and can see the relief on the older man’s face.

"Thank you, Kili" Frerin says, still feeling uneasy about apologizing to a servant, even when he knows he was out of order. " Shall we go back into the conservatory?"

When his brother and Kili return,  Thorin throws his beloved and concerned look.  _Everything alright?_ But Kili gives him so reassuring smile. "Was there anything else you needed sir?" he asks his lover.

"No thank you. Go and enjoy your Christmas dinner and unless there is anything urgent your service will not be required until this evening."  He catches his nephew's eye and wishes he'd phrased himself slightly less dubiously, feeling a blush creep up his neck. "You're dismissed," he quickly says to Kili and then turns to his brother, inviting him for an after dinner smoke.

Kili beams up at the family. "Thank you and a Merry Christmas to you all," he says with a smile and exits the room to enjoy his Christmas dinner with Balin and Frerin’s staff.

+++

Kili knocks on his lovers door, yawning. It had been a long day; he had spent most of his afternoon with Fili and Maurice and had eaten far too much. Later in the evening him and Fili had drunk their way through a bottle of wine that Balin had given him as a Christmas present so he currently feels a little merry.

Thorin smiles at his young beloved and then raises an eyebrow as the brunet stumbles into his rooms. "Are you alright?" he asks as he shuts the door.

" I think I drunk a bit too much,” Kili hiccups. “But shhh, Fili says I must not tell his dad or uncle," he giggles, swaying a little."

Thorin crosses his arms and then bursts out laughing. "I should have you scrubbing floors for showing up at my door drunk! You are lucky you are so cute." He swipes his tongue over Kili's lips tasting the wine on them. "So I take it that means you and Fili are still friends?"

Kili nods. "He asked if we had had sex," he states, kissing his lover on the cheeks. "You are so beautiful" he purrs.

Thorin knocks over a chair as he steps back in shock, scrambling to pick it up off the floor.  "He asked what?! W-what did you say to him?" he stutters.

"I told him yes and it was magical and he smiled and said that you loooooved me," he laughs, grabbing his lover’s hand.

Thorin stares open mouthed at his lover. "I-it was... " he whispers. "And I do." He rubs his beard. He is flabbergasted that Fili had asked such an outrageous question. Despite the fact that he's older than Kili, he still thinks of his nephew as a child, regardless of his lecture to his brother. And he stands staring blankly at Kili as he tries to digest this information.

"Feel a bit dizzy … need to sit down,“ Kili says, spreading himself across the bed. "He doesn't want to be a doctor he told me so too"  

Thorin is startled out of his stupor by the sudden change of subject. "Who? Fili? Oh " he responds and as he turns to Kili he feels a rush of blood to his nether regions as he finds the young man splayed invitingly in his bed. "Kili, you should probably go," he swallows thickly.

Kili shakes his head. "Want you to make love to me and won't leave until you do," he says stubbornly and crosses his arms.

Thorin finds himself groaning softly at the demand. "Kili, you're drunk," he argues weakly. "We mustn't in the house, especially as we've been caught once already... "

But Kili continues to refuse. "I'm staying right here then until we have sex," he argues then smiles, fluttering his eyelashes. "Have you got any absinthe, sexy"? he asks

Thorin growls at Kili's defiant behaviour and takes two long strides towards the bed and pins the youngster down. He brings his face right up to his lover's. "You forget your place, Mr Durin," he snarls.

Kili flinches as his lover's temper comes out, but added with the alcohol a streak of brave foolishness continues. “I know my place. It's underneath you. You can huff and puff all you want," he slurs.

"You dare defy me, boy?" Thorin pushes himself hard down against his lover, feeling his arousal flare inside his breeches. "You dare speak to me with such little respect? I think you need to be taught a lesson in obedience!" And he bites down hard into the soft flesh of Kili's neck.

Kili lets out a yelp as his gentleman's teeth sink into his flesh and begins to wriggle under his lover and finds himself laughing. "Well, that teaches me," he giggles, the alcohol numbing his senses.  

Thorin smirks at his young intoxicated lover, his heart racing as his whole body seems to pulse with desire. "You reckless boy," he nips at his nose and lips. Then with a quick move he rolls himself off the youngster. "Don't move an inch," he warns Kili and without a further glance back he disappears into the adjacent room.

Kili looks back a little confused as to what is going on. "Thorin?" he calls, a little unsurely.  He wants to follow his lover, but heeds his warning and stays in the same position.

"Yes my, love?" Thorin says huskily when he reappears with a bottle of absinthe. "Did you call for me?" He had hastily unbuttoned the top of his shirt and looks at Kili  with eyes dark with lust.

Kili smiles up at his beloved. "Just wondered where you had gone, thought you had left me pining for you," he says then eyes the bottle. "Oooh, green fairy," he giggles.

Thorin climbs back onto the bed and pulls the curtains to a little. He straddles the brunet, keeping him pinned in place with his strong thighs and uncorks the bottle. He teasingly licks his lips at Kili. "You are a very naughty boy," he grins and then takes a big tug from the bottle. He bends himself forward to his lover's lips and pries open his mouth, letting the burning green liquid flow between them as he tongues him passionately.

Kili can feel the green liquid run down his throat and feels a wave of happiness rush through. "If this is my punishment, I'll be naughty more often," he says, running his hand along Thorin’s cheek.

Thorin takes a shuddering breath, licking Kili's lips. "My brother was right," he whispers. "You're a bad influence."

Kili giggles. "I am lovely, and you love it. I can tell you love it," he smirks, bringing his hand down and cupping his lover’s privates.

Thorin can't help the wanton moan escaping his lips at that. "You're a succubus," he growls as he begins to undo Kili's trousers. "Leading me into temptation like this." And he roughly yanks down Kili's breeches and undergarments in one go.

Kili yelps as the cold air hits his privates. “I am yours to do what you wish with," he reaches up for his lover’s shirt, pulling at the buttons and getting frustrated as his fingers will not cooperate.  

"My gorgeous Antinuos," Thorin eyes his beloved's sword. "Poetry should be written about that delicious body of yours."

Kili lets out a playful laugh. "You have such a beautiful way with words," he purrs happily and immediately begins tugging at his lovers nipples the minute his lovers shirt finally gives way.

"Nnngh," Thorin groans at the sensual touches. He pulls at his own button to free himself. Once his slacks are in a heap on the floor he picks up the bottle of absinthe again and pours some onto Kili's stomach and prick. And he traces his fingers through the sticky liquid before lapping up the spillage with his rough tongue.

Kili begins to chuckle at the wet licks to his chest. "Your beard tickles,” he laughs and winds Thorin’s hair around his fingers. "If this is punishment, I would love to know what a treat is," he smiles.

"You cheeky little witch child," Thorin nibbles at Kili's prick. "You have me spellbound." He sits himself back on his haunches. "Prepare yourself. I want to see you finger yourself," he flushes in his desire, taking another swig of the green fairy.

Kili nods and takes his fingers in his mouth and sucks on them making sure to get them wet, then lowers his hand to his backside and slowly begins fingering his hole.

Thorin pants as he watches Kili open himself up for him. He wraps his hand around his thick shaft and begins to move in the rhythm of Kili’s fingers, slicking himself with saliva. “Tell me what you want from me,” he whispers to the brunet.

"I need you inside of me. I want you to make me call out your name," he pants as he stretches himself. "I need you now, please, my love," he begs as his prick bounces against his belly.  

“You are so demanding of me,” Thorin grins. He slides his large hands under Kili’s buttocks and lifts his backside up into the air, presenting him to take him. He lines himself up and enters Kili’s heat without further hesitation, grunting as his cock dragged along Kili’s inner walls. He holds the teenager in place like this as he raises himself up on his knees, pulling the young man over his shaft. “You like to be filled by me?” he groans softly.

"Yes my stallion, I love your girth filling me," Kili pants. "Ride me, remind me who I belong to," he orders as he tries to move himself down onto his lover’s cock.

Thorin flushes at Kili’s naughty statements, not having known that any if it was even in the youngster’s vocabulary. “Goodness, Kili,” he pants. “You could make a hooker blush.” And then bites his lip as he realises what he has just said. But Kili just laughs as he wriggles himself before him, seeking the drag of his member. And Thorin obliges to his pleasure as he pulls his hips up hard, shafting himself to the hilt. “Mmm, I love to feel you clench me,” he groans softly as Kili tenses at the pounding.

Kili can feel his heart pounding against his chest and begins to buck his hips to meet Thorin’s fast pace. "Oh my god," he pants as he can feel sweat pouring down his face. "Love you pounding into me," he groans.

At that Thorin can feel himself lose his self-control as his orgasm blooms inside his Kili. He has to bite his tongue to stop himself from bellowing out and pulls Kili’s body against him hard for two more thrusts, his eyes squeezed shut as pleasure explodes inside his body.

Kili can feel his lover release his essence in side of him  and can feel he is right on the edge himself. "So close," he moans.  

Thorin takes his lover’s throbbing sword in his hand and runs his fist along its length in a quick, sure motion, drinking in the beautiful picture of his young lover on the edge of pleasure. “Quiet,” he reminds the young man, putting a finger on his lips and he shudders as he can feel Kili’s body grasp his softening cock again, the tightening of the muscles expelling some of the juices he had blessed him with, dripping onto the sheets.

Kili can feel his balls tighten and spills his cum all over his lover’s hand and looks up at his gentleman with dark eyes. "Thank you," he says, trying to get his breathing back under control.  

Thorin sighs as he slips from the heat of Kili’s body. “I am so going to hell,” he whispers with a chuckle. He looks down at the soiled sheets and the sticky mess on his hands where Kili has left his mark on him. “Well, I suppose you did help me get undressed,” he says as he rolls off the youngster. “I am not quite sure that this complies with the valet training, but I am not complaining …”

Kili giggles. "Best not tell Mr Balin, think he might frown upon it a bit,"  Kili jests and leans his head on his lover’s toned body. "Wish I could stay here," he says, closing his eyes. But Thorin knows that he has already been far too lenient with the way Kili keeps pushing the boundaries.

“You cannot, my love. We cannot take such a risk again,” he sighs and he playfully pushes Kili off him. “Off with you, you wretched boy, before you get us into trouble again. Go and sleep off that booze. We will need to be up early tomorrow for the hunt.”

Kili lets out a groan and then a huge yawn. "Good night, handsome," he says sleepily and brushes his lips against his lover’s.  

 “Goodnight, my beautiful,” Thorin smiles as he wraps a strand of hair back behind Kili’s ear. “And thank you for the amazing sex.”

Kill beams back. "You were amazing. Think we will both feel it tomorrow," he chuckles and gives his love one more kiss and then reluctantly exits the room.


	40. Hunt

Kili wakes up his temples are throbbing and he lets out a groan. His body aches all over and he can taste stale alcohol on his breath. He lies in bed allowing his sore body to wake up properly when he gets a sudden flashback of him refusing to move from Thorin's bed until he got what he desired and finds himself grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Kili suddenly jolts back to reality when he hears movement in the corridor and hurriedly reaches over for his time piece. "Damn!" he says out loud when he realises he has overslept and hurriedly gets dressed, not even stopping to take the time to tie his shoes properly and rushes down the hall to his lovers room and knocks the door.

“Why good morning, Mr Durin,” Thorin says sarcastically, already fully dressed into his hunting gear, as he lets the youngster into his room. “I thought I had best get dressed myself this morning as my valet did not show up."

"I am never drinking again," Kili moans as his head gives a particularly painful throb. "Can't you just shoot me?”

“Tempting …” Thorin smirks as he crosses his arms. “How are you going to be any use to me in this state? You will scare the wildlife with your moaning from a mile off! Not to mention letting you lose on a shotgun ... “

Kili gulps. "Would you really trust me with a gun anyway?” he asks, doubtful of his own ability to actually be able to shoot straight and knows he will feel awful for actually killing an animal. "Perhaps I should just stay here. I mean, I haven't even got the right sort of outfit for hunting. That might be better all round," he says hopefully.

Thorin stares at the youngster. “Are you done rambling?” he asks, raising an eyebrow at Kili’s waterfall of words.

Kili nods. "Yes, I think so," he says.

“Oh good.” Thorin walks over to his chair and begins to pull on his boots. “You will have to forego breakfast because you overslept as we are already running late. Take something with you if you want. As for clothes, you can wear one of my old outfits, I will pick you something out in a moment. You will not be shooting anything. You are my valet, your duty is to load my guns and hand them to me.” He looks up at the young man. “Do you know how to load a weapon?”

_ Damn worth a try,  _ Kili thinks. "No idea, never even touched a gun before," he admits. "And don't think I could stomach breakfast anyway," he adds.

Thorin grins. “That’s a shame, that you cannot handle your drink. I rather liked drunken Kili last night,” he winks, then jumps to his feet and strides over to his wardrobe where he begins to pull out some brown tweed trousers, a coarse shirt and pullover and a greenish jacket which he hands to Kili. “Put these on and those boots over there,” he nods to a pair of outdoor boots. “Then report to me in the gunroom.” He shakes his head. “I cannot believe I am actually going to teach a hung-over teenager how to load a gun,” he mutters and walks off leaving Kili to get changed.

Kili quickly gets changed into the clothes his lover had loaned him and looks in the mirror. The clothes were a little big but other than that he thinks he looks quite nice in the hunting gear. He folds his valet’s suit on the foot of his lover’s bed and hurries to the gun room. As he enters he eyes the guns with curiosity; there are tons of them, some quite old looking, which had clearly been handed down the generations of the Oakenshield family, while others looked barely used. He reaches for one and starts examining it.

Thorin coughs loudly. “Mr Durin,” he says sternly. “I would appreciate it if you would not touch that.”

Kili looks around to see all the Oakenshield men staring at him. "Yes sir, sorry," he says, carefully putting it back in the gun rack.

“I shall see you outside, brother,” Thorin smiles at Frerin.

Frerin frowns. "You are not coming out with us?” he asks. "I have brought some brandy to warm us up."

“I will be right there,” Thorin says. “Keep the brandy warm for me, brother.” And he clasps Frerin on the shoulder, steering him gently towards the door.

After they have gone Kili turns to face his lover a little confused. “Are we not going with them?” he asks.

“We are. First,” Thorin picks up one of his shotguns and hands it to Kili,” you need to learn how to load a shotgun.”

Kili looks at the weapon unsurely "And what if I load it wrong?" he blurts out, feeling very worried about the situation.

“Potentially you could kill either yourself or me,” Thorin states evenly. “So I would be grateful if you pay close attention.”

Kili can feel his face pale and gulps. " I am all ears," he replies, his voice slightly higher than normal.

“Excellent,” Thorin smiles and he proceeds to show Kili the various parts that make up the weapon, how to hold it - even though Kili will not be shooting with it, he needs to understand how it is operated - and most importantly how to safely load and unload it and how to hand a loaded gun to his master. “Please, Kili,” he urges once he has let Kili go through the motions several times over until he is more or less satisfied that the youngster had got it, “if you are unsure about anything at all, you must say. This is not a game and I do not want you to play guess with any of this. Do you understand?”

Kili can't help but feel a little hurt at this. " Do you really think I'd mess around with something so dangerous? Because I may be young, but I am not that stupid!" he snaps.

Thorin feels his temper flare at that. “You take that attitude and you will be staying here,” he growls in return. “This is not about young or stupid, although perhaps you are both. I trust that you can do this; otherwise I would not even try this with you. But you will pack that proud attitude away right now and behave like a valet should. I have no time for this, Mr Durin.”

Kili can feel anger rush over his body and wants to shout at him.  _ Do not react, it is what he expects you to do, _ he tells himself. " Yes, sir," he says, trying to keep his voice sounding calm, but knows he is failing as he can hear the venom in his tone.

“Good,” Thorin smiles as he picks up one of the two shotguns and slings it over his shoulder. It is not his ability that worries him. But if Kili cannot be trusted to keep his anger in check, then he should not be letting him handle shotguns. However, he is satisfied that Kili has managed to keep his temper despite him pushing him to his limit. “Let us go and join the others then.” And he brushes his hand quickly along Kili’s cheek in a loving gesture.

Kili can feel his anger disappear a little at the gesture and slowly follows his lover to catch up with the others.  _ His ass looks good in those trousers,  _ he smiles to himself as he follows his gentleman with a slight blush creeping up his neck.

Thorin smiles at his nephew, who is practically bouncing with excitement and he ruffles through his hair. “Ready then, Fee?” he asks.

“Oh yes!” Fili grins as he mounts his horse. “I am going to shoot us a pheasant,” he says proudly.

“That sounds good, Fili.” Thorin follows his lead as he mounts Jayne. “And then you can help Kili prepare it,” he gives his young valet a furtive wink.

Kili smiles back at his lover. "Pheasant would indeed be nice or rabbit," he replies, watching the three gentlemen mount their horses.

Frerin looks at his brother then notices a mark on his neck. "Thorin what the hell happened to your neck?" he asks with concern as he looks at a deep purple bruise spreading just under the hairline of his beard.

Thorin's hand shoots to the bruise on his neck and catches Kili's cheeky grin in the corner of his eye. "I ehm... I cut myself shaving..." He knows it's a ridiculous response, which neither explains the bruise or the flush in his cheeks. His brother is a surgeon, surely he knows the difference between a shaving cut and a love bite! But he hopes his brother will leave it at that.

Frerin raises his eyebrows but doesn't question his brother further then looks at Kili. "Is Mr Durin not riding?“ he asks as his and Fili's valets are already on their mounts.

" Yes, Mr Durin is riding," Kili says, excited at the prospect of getting to ride a horse.

Thorin raises a concerned eyebrow at his lover then looks to his brother. "Is that wise? With his back I mean?" he tries to come up with a valid reason why Kili cannot ride a horse. He'd intended for him to walk with the beaters, knowing full well that Kili cannot actually ride.

"My back is fine now, sir" he says beaming at his lover." He can feel a wave of excitement as a black cob is brought towards him.

Thorin throws Kili an annoyed glance. "Frerin?"

" The boy should be alright as long as he doesn't go too fast." Then he looks at Kili sternly, "But if it starts to ache you must let you master know immediately."

Kili nods and strokes the horses neck. "Hello handsome," he whispers in the horse’s ear.

"Fine," Thorin snaps and flicks his fingers at the stable boy leading the mare. "Help Mr Durin into the saddle," he says as his own horse sidesteps.

With very little trouble Kili is seated on the horse. He is shocked at how high up he feels, but leans forward. "Help me impress Thorin, won't you," he whispers in the horse’s ear, while stroking his neck.

"Ready?" Thorin asks everyone, but his eyes are trained on Kili, his brow furrowed into a concerned frown as the youngster shifts in the saddle.

Kili nods and keeps his eyes trained on his lover and watches his movements with the reins and notes how he slowly squeezes his legs against the horse’s side.  _ Can't be too hard,  _ he thinks and adjusts his seating to grab the horse's attention. He slowly pulls at the reins and is delighted when the horse obeys and can't help give Thorin a smug look. "Good boy," he says to the gelding.

Thorin pulls gently at the reins, bringing Jayne in step with Kili's horse. "Are you alright?" he asks Kili softly as the company begins to move towards the wooded side of the estate. Although he must admit that Kili looks surprisingly comfortable - and hot! - in the saddle.

Kili beams at his lover. "I want a horse!" he beams. "Can we go faster?" he adds quietly.

"In a moment," Thorin smiles. "But remember what Frerin said."

" This is fantastic! I will be fine," he reassures his lover and ruffles his horses fur. "This handsome devil knows what he’s doing," he coos at the horse.

Thorin can't help but smile at his sweetheart. "You're a natural," he observes.

"Thank you," Kili blushes. "But really think it's more to do with the horse than me," he replies modestly.

"Guinness is a good horse," Thorin agrees. "But even a good horse still needs a good rider." He looks ahead towards Frerin and Fili and finds his nephew glancing back at them. "If you are alright, I'm going to join my brother and Fili up ahead," he says to Kili.

" Yeah I’m fine, you go ahead," Kili reassures him and shifts a little as he feels Fili glaring at him and begins stroking his horse's neck again.

Fili is pleased to see his uncle steering his horse in his direction. Even though he and Kili are friends now, this is the day he'd been looking forward to all year; when uncle Thorin would take him hunting. And he had felt a sharp pang of jealousy at seeing his uncle ride beside the brunet boy and he feels worried that his uncle will be too busy to fuss over Kili to actually teach him how to hunt as he'd promised.

" How’s the boys back?" Frerin asks his brother. He had found his brother’s care for the boys back suspicious but didn't want another argument so kept quiet.

"Seems to be okay," Thorin smiles.

"Uncle Thorin," Fili squeaks impatiently, as his elders continue to talk about the servant boy, "will you teach me how to shoot? Father has shown me a little, but I've never shot real game before."

"Course I will, Fee." Thorin glances over his shoulder at his beloved, wishing he could be riding at his side like his partner. He can hear Fili sighs loudly beside him and looks back at the blonde boy. "Sorry, Fili, did you say anything else?" he asks, feeling guilty to have to divide his attention between his lover and his nephew.

Fili scowls at his uncle. "I said," he grumbles, "what do you hope to shoot today, uncle?"

Thorin smiles distractedly. "Ehm... definitely some pheasants, maybe a grouse. I think we're being too noisy for deer, although the hounds might track one. We'll need to check the snares as well."

"Oh pheasant does sound good, I haven't had pheasant for a while," Frerin says, his stomach growling.

They dismount at a little clearing in the woods, where they hand the reins of their horses to the footmen, watching the valets do the same. Thorin immediately walks over to Kili. "Will you be alright dismounting?"

" Fine, I think" he says sliding his feet out of stirs then looking unsure at the floor.

"Put one foot back," Thorin guides as he takes the reins of the horse, holding the animal still. "To give you leverage. Then swing your other leg back as you hold onto the saddle." He watches Kili struggle for only a moment, but then he seems to have worked it out. "Well done. Now jump down." He holds on to Kili's coat in case he stumbles, forgetting for a moment that the entire company is staring at them.

Kili reluctant slides down from the great height of the horse. He can feel himself stumble a little, but his lover grasps hold of him to keep him steady and he lets out a sigh of relief when both feet hit the ground. " Thank you," he says turning to face his lover, trying to resist the urge to  place a kiss on his lips.

"Why do you need to help Kili all the time?" Fili, who had strode over to them, snaps. "He's the same age as me and taller and I could manage without help!"

Thorin glares at Fili, silently willing him to keep his mouth shut, but then he realises that all eyes are on him. "I am just concerned about his back," he says, more to Frerin than Fili, but he knows the excuse is running thin.

" Fili is right, sir, I’m fine, honestly," Kili says with a smile knowing it is best for his lover to go with his nephew before the blond says something about their relationship in his anger.

Thorin nods and then turns to the company to give instructions, sending the beaters ahead to drive any game fowl out of the undergrowth and towards the hunters.

Kili looks at the group, unsure what he is actually supposed to do, and so walks over to Jack, who despite his jealousy of the way the other valet had behaved around his lover is the only person he feels he can trust to help him. "Do we follow them or what?” he ask glaring at him  the party still fresh in his mind. His eyes follow Thorin and rest on his ass.  _ Stop it Kili!  _ he scolds himself, but then finds Jack doing the same and scowls at him.

“We do,” Jack smiles, ignoring the youngster’s scowl. “Just make sure to stay behind them and out of the firing line. Have your master’s shotgun loaded and ready.” He looks the youngster up and down. “You have never done this before have you?”

Kili shakes his head. "Oh Lord, is it that obvious?" he utters.

Jack chuckles. “A polar bear in a desert would look less obvious,” he clasps Kili’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, as long as you don’t kill anyone or get shot, you’ll be fine.”

"I'll just follow your lead, and pray I don't shot my foot to go along with my sore back. That really would be a sight for sore eyes," he jokes as they make their way forward.

Fili beams at his uncle as the older man inspects his new shotgun. “A very fine gun indeed,” he tells his nephew. “Your parents have been very generous.”

“Yeah, they have,” Fili chirps and takes the shotgun back, aiming it at the woods before him.

Thorin smiles at his brother and then bends himself over Fili, moving his arms a little so that he has a better grip on the weapon, making sure it is resting in the right place against his shoulder. “Find a steady stance, Fee, your legs a little apart, that’s it. Now look towards your target along the barrel, make sure you have it aligned with that notch there. Good. Just fire a shot at that mark on the tree there, before we try a moving target.” And he steps back as Fili takes the shot.

Kili finds himself glaring at the blond and turns his head away unable to watch any longer and inspects the base of a tree. "So did you have a good Christmas?" he asks Jack, still looking at the tree base.

Jack looks over his shoulder. “Ehm …” he says unsurely as he keeps an eye on his young master. “I enjoyed the party.”

Kili cannot help giving the other man the evils at the mention of that. “So you did,” he sneers.

Jack frowns at the brunet, unsure why he is giving him the evils. “Kili, you need to keep an eye on your master, how otherwise will you know when to change and load his weapon?”

Kili forcing his eyes back onto his lover and feeling a stab of jealousy rush through his body as he sees his lover give the blond an embrace.

“That’s brilliant,” Thorin complements his nephew. “Now are you ready for the real thing?” he asks as he can hear the first indignant squawks from the disturbed wildlife.

Fili nods eagerly and looks at his uncle in awe as he watches him ready his shotgun and begin to scan the sky. A moment later another loud bang rings through the air when Thorin releases his shot, followed by a heap of feathers falling from the sky. “Well, we will have at least something for dinner,” he smiles to Fili as he sends one of the dogs to retrieve the bird. “Did you see? You need to follow it for a few seconds along its flight path, slightly ahead of the bird to allow for the distance the pellets need to travel. Only then you release the trigger. You want to have a go at the next one?”

Kili sees Thorin’s hand signal and slowly makes his way towards the clearing and up to his lover waiting for his orders. “Hold this,” Thorin holds his shotgun out to Kili, not looking at him, as he keeps his eyes focused on Fili. “Listen out for the movements in the woods and anticipate where the bird will fly out.” His nephew concentrates hard on the woods ahead of him, his heart beating in his chest as he waits for his shot.

Kili feels a sneeze approach he tries to stop himself and puts his fingers to his nose but the more he tries the more he wants to. "Aaaachu!" he says loudly causing the whole group to jump. Fili releases the trigger and misses the bird he had intended to shoot by a mile. He whirls round to his friend, his eyes blazing. “You stupid idiot!” he shouts to Kili. “You made me miss my shot!”

" Im sorry, I couldnt help it I did try," Kili apologises feeling embarrassed as everyone is staring in their direction.

Thorin looks from one boy to the other. “Fili, calm down,” he says. “It is not like Kili sneezed on purpose. Come on, try again.” He throws Kili a look that is somewhere between an apology and a warning.

"I'll get out of your way" Kili mutters and he hands his lover a fully loaded gun and retreats to stand with the other valets.

Fili’s next shot is uninterrupted, although he misses target as he is still getting used to following a moving target. It takes him another couple of attempts, but eventually he manages to shoot a pheasant and when one of Thorin’s dogs brings it to his master, Fili is almost glowing with pride at his first successful kill. He takes the bird from Thorin and bounces over to Kili. “Look what I got!” he gleams.

Kili gives him a little smile a little relieved that he seems to have calmed down. "That’s amazing I can cook something really nice with that" he says looking at the bird.

Fili beams and runs quickly back to his uncle and his father, who are taking it in turns to shoot.

“Kili!” Thorin calls, startling his lover out of his daydream when he wants his weapon reloaded.

Kili approaches his lover and slowly reloads it making sure to do it exactly right; nerves flood through him and the thought of loading it wrong petrifies him. When he is certain he has got it right he hands it back to his lover smiling. " Here you go, sir."  

Thorin pales as Kili hands him the gun barrel first. “Jesus, Kili,” he curses under his breath, “are you trying to kill me?! Don’t point that at me!”

"Sorry sir," Kili flushes, pointing his gun at floor and feeling all eyes on him again.  _ Will I ever get this right without cocking up?  _ he asks himself and tries to hand his lover the gun again.

Thorin gives him a faint smile. “That's better.” He feels for his lover, having to remember so much after only such a short instruction and he blames himself for not thinking to ask Kili whether he had handled a shotgun before so he could have taught him under less stressful circumstances. He vows to make it up to him when his family have left and take him riding and shooting with just the two of them before they return to London.

Fili sniggers at Kili, who has gone bright red. “You are useless,” he jests at the brunet under his breath, so that his father cannot hear. “You are lucky that uncle finds you useful in the bedroom or he so would have sacked you for that!”

"You take that back right now, you foolish idiot!" Kili snarls clutching his fists into balls and trying to keep his rage under control and the blond has hit a particularly sore nerve.

“Hey!” Thorin exclaims as he turns to the two bickering teenagers. “What is going on?”

Fili stumbles back as Kili flares. “I … I was only joking.” But then his temper explodes too, as his pride is crushed in front of the whole group as Kili intimidates him. “How dare you talk to me like that, servant boy!” he snarls. “You need to learn your place!” he repeats his father’s words, trying to redeem himself for backing away from the taller teen. 

Thorin takes a step forward as he watches the situation escalade, but he is not quick enough.

Kili flies forward and grasps the front of the blond’s coat knocking his to the floor and lunging on top of him. "You have no idea of the real world do you, spoilt little rich boy!" he growls and brings his fist back and brings it down on the blond’s eye.

“What the hell?!” Thorin calls out and he yanks Kili off his nephew, holding the brunet in a strong grip as he continues to swing his fists in the direction of the blond. “Calm the hell down!” he growls in Kili’s ear.

Kili tries to pull away from his lover's strong grip " Let go of me!" he thunders trying to get close enough to cause the blond damage. "He doesn't have a bloody clue!"

“You are mental!” Fili screams, pointing at the brunet. “You need to be locked up!”

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Frerin shouts nearing the brunet then turns to his brother. "Get that savage out of here or I will do more than raise my hand to him!" he threatens.

Thorin turns Kili around hard and slaps him across the face to calm him down. “What do you think you are doing?” he snarls, digging his fingers into Kili’s upper arms.

"I won't let anyone say that to me, I don't care who they are!" he screams.

Thorin brings his face close to Kili’s. “Say what?” he whispers, utterly confused as to how what was supposed to be a nice, relaxing hunting trip has ended in a brawl between the two boys, after he thought they had  become friends.

"He said I was only useful to you in the bedroom," he sobs quietly enough for only his lover to hear him.

Thorin sighs, suddenly understanding how this had escalated. He wants to give Kili a hug and a kiss, but those gestures will have to wait. “You are going to have to apologise to him,” he says to Kili. “I cannot let you get away with hitting my nephew like that, regardless of what he said.”

“No, I won't," he refuses stubbornly. "You can't make me!" he can feel tears prick his eyes and knows he will face punishment for his actions.

“You will do as I say,” Thorin growls low in his throat. “And expect a punishment for this and all,” he adds before shoving Kili aside and walking up to his nephew who is sobbing loudly. “Fili, are you okay?” he asks, although he knows most of it is drama rather than actual damage.

"What the hell was that boy doing?" Frerin asks with his arm wrapped around his son. "It’s okay son, he will be punished," he promises.

“He will be,” Thorin confirms with regret. He cannot let Kili get away with this and his lover needs to learn he cannot lash out as his superiors like that, even if he can understand why. He cannot say anymore, without risking to blow their cover to pieces.

“I hate you!” Fili shouts out to Kili as he feels his cheek throb. But truthfully he is more upset that his friend had suddenly turned on him without truly understanding why, then that he was actually hurt.

Kili slowly approaches the blond. "I am sorry Master Oakenshield, I had no right to act like that," he apologises not actually meaning a word of it.  _ Hope it hurts _ he thinks angrily.  

Fili narrows his eyes at the brunet. “Damn right you did not! I thought you were my friend!” he utters somewhere between a sob and a snarl.

At these words a pang of guilt ebbs away at the brunet. "I was. I am. T-there's stuff you don't know ... I am sorry," he says this time sincere and bows his head as he sees the hurt in the blond's eyes.

Thorin frets as Kili is inviting more questions from his brother. "I think we'd best get Fili back to the house... " he tries. But Fili shakes his head hard.

"No!" he growls. "He goes back!" he points to Kili. Then he looks to his uncle again. "You promised to teach me to hunt," he pouts.

"Yes Thorin, he’s right. The boy should go back, not Fili," he says pointing at the servant boy with disgust. "Punish him hard, Thorin, because he’s lucky he isn't being punished by my hand."

Thorin turns to his beloved and he can almost hear his heart break as he sees the sadness and shame in Kili's eyes. He walks up to him and, keeping his back to his brother, says softly. "You will walk back to the manor, Kili. And we will talk about this when I'm back later." And he adds in a whisper. "It is not true, you know it is not."

"Yes sir," Kili replies and hurries out of the clearing. After a couple of minutes, when he knows he is out of earshot, he allows his tears to fall and lets out long loud sobs.   _ Not only have I embarrassed myself and the man I love, his family will now hate me, and I have lost one of my only friends. Kili you fool!  _ he curses himself.

Thorin returns to teaching Fili to shoot, but neither his heart nor his mind are in the right place now as worry and disappointment dominate his thoughts. Equally Fili has lost his happy excitement over today. Like his father and uncle he manages to shoot a few more game birds, but instead of feeling pride and happiness, he is angry and confused over why Kili had hit him when he'd only meant to make a joke. And despite his words said in anger at his friend he feels a little worry at what might happen to Kili now.

 


	41. Punishment

Kili follows Balin down the corridor to his lover's office with his head hung low. The second he had got back he had raced to his room and packed all his belongings in case he was sent away.

As they near the study a wave of nausea washes  over him; he wants to retreat back into his bedroom but knows if Thorin has to come and get him himself he would be in  far worse trouble so he forces himself to follow the old butler. But when Balin knocks on the door he actually trembles with fear.

"Come in," Thorin calls out in his usual authoritative voice, although there is a deep sadness threaded through it.

"Go on, lad," Balin nods.  "Don't leave the master waiting."

Kili walks into the room and stands in front of the desk with his head bowed unable to look at his lover, ashamed of his actions.

"Kili," Thorin says once Balin has  
closed the door behind him, leaving just the two of them. "I am very disappointed in you."

Kili stays looking at floor and nods" I know, sir" he says quietly.

Thorin shakes his head as he looks at the handsome youngster who'd stolen his heart. "I don't even know where to begin," he sighs. "What were you thinking?"

Kili shakes his head" I...I don't know I just saw red when he said it" he admits still staring at the floor.

A silence stretches between them as Thorin looks at his lover, at a loss what to do. An intense sadness, over everything that has happened to Kili, over the world that makes their love impossible, intensified by the pending anniversary of his wife's death, threatens to suffocate him. And he finds himself burying his head in his hands as he begins to sob.

Kili’s heart breaks instantly for his beloved at the sounds of him crying and he rushes around the desk and wraps his arms around his lover. "I'm so sorry, Thorin, I'll do better  I promise" he says and can feel tears begin to fall from his own eyes onto his lovers shoulder.

Thorin wraps his hands around Kili’s arms, letting the embrace sooth him. “You must learn to control your temper,” he says  
eventually, wiping his face and forcing Kili to look at him. “You cannot go around punching people every time someone says something you don't like. Especially not my nephew!” He wipes a tear from Kili’s cheek with his large thumb. “You silly boy,” he sighs. “Fili so wants to be your friend. You must apologise to him. He did not mean to upset you, he just said something stupid. You know it's not true." Then he looks unsure. "Don't you? "

Kili nods.  "I do," he says softly in his lover’s ear. " Your family hate me now. I have mucked everything up,” he sobs.

“You have not exactly made yourself popular,” Thorin agrees. “But nobody hates you. It is nothing that will not heal with time. Still, it cannot go unpunished …”

Kili lowers his head. "What will my punishment be?" he asks nervously, looking at his feet. " I will take whatever it is I know it is well deserved."

“My brother no doubt wants me to lay the cane on you. But you are an adult now. You hold an adult job and I will not punish you like a mischievous child. You will have your privileges as my valet taken from you. You will not be allowed to leave the estate without my authorisation. You will not drink any alcohol for the duration of our stay here, nor will you make merry with the other servants. You will report to me punctually each morning and I will give you duties to do that will normally be carried out by the lower staff and you will do so without payment.” He takes a slow deep breath. “Most importantly you will keep your distance from me whilst my family are here. You will prove to me your loyalty and your devotion to me as your master before you may again call yourself my lover. Is that understood, Mr Durin?”

Kili nods and moves his hand from his lover’s shoulder. "Yes, sir," he says, moving away from the man he loves and looking at the floor again as he is overcome by sadness.

“Good,” Thorin says evenly, although his throat feels thick with heartache. “You will start by apologising to Master Fili.” He gets to his feet and walks to the door. “Do not move,” he warns Kili as he disappears.

Kili stays still daring not to move in fear of his lover’s temper.

Fili walks nervously beside his uncle after he had been summoned to join him in his office to hear Kili’s apology. His cheek has begun to swell quite badly and is already coming out in rainbow colours. Nerves are curling inside his belly as he feels a mixture of anger, confusion and trepidation; no one had ever dared punch him before and he feels apprehensive of Kili’s temper as they step up to the door. “Will you stay with me?” he nervously asks his uncle.

“Of course,” Thorin says with a frown. “You are not afraid of Kili are you?” he asks softly, his hand hovering on the door handle.

“No!” Fili utters defensively, but his heart is beating as a rate of knots as his uncle opens the door.

When Kili looks up at the door a wave of guilt washes over him as he sees the state of the blond’s face. And he finds he can't look at him

“I believe Mr Durin has something he wants to say to you,” Thorin squeezes Fili’s shoulder in reassurance and then walks over to the window bay, leaving the two teenagers staring each other.

" Fili I’m so sorry I hurt you. I was out of order. It will never happen again," he says, feeling his voice hitch as he can see the fear in the blond's eyes.

Fili just nods nervously, his eyes flicking between his uncle and the brunet boy. “Okay,” he says, his voice breaking. Then he looks to his uncle. “Can I go now?” he asks him quietly.

Kili can feel tears roll down his cheeks. "No wait!” he calls out. “Please, I'm so sorry, Fee. I know you were only joking but those words mean more than you can know," he sobs.

Thorin slowly turns around and puts a hand on Kili’s shoulder in support. When he looks at his nephew he finds him staring back at him with eyes wide with fright. “I … I did not mean to be disrespectful, uncle,” he stutters as he realises the older man must know what he had said to Kili and he can feel his cheeks burn. “It was just a joke …” he whispers.

“Jokes can be dangerous when said callously,” Thorin says, his voice calm but firm. Fili nervously casts his eyes to the floor. “Now, do you accept Mr Durin’s apology?” Fili nods, keeping his eyes downcast. “Very well, of you go then,” Thorin dismisses the blond.

"Fili! Would you please wait a moment longer," Kili calls to the blond. "I .. I think you have a right to know the truth. If you will let me explain" he says.

Thorin draws in a sharp breath, hesitating whether to stop Kili telling his nephew the truth, both to protect his lover but also because he is not at all sure if Fili should know about any such matters. But he reminds himself that he had been the one to say to his brother that Fili is an adult and should be treated as such.

Fili looks unsurely at his uncle but then looks at the brunet. “Okay,” he says.

“Do you want me to leave?” Thorin asks Kili.

Kili shakes his head. "No, please can you stay my lo..  Sir."

“Sure,” Thorin says and he sits himself in the chair nearest the window.

“You know how I told you about what my father did to me?" When the blond nods he continues. "Why, I didn't tell you what else he did to me. He... he sold me … to a pleasure house. I.. I was forced to have sex with men in return for money. M-my father said it was all I was any good for," he admits quietly tears rolling down his face as shame rushes over him. “If it wasn’t for Thorin … he saved me,” he says looking nervously at his lover, hoping he had not said too much.

Thorin cannot watch his lover be in such pain and walks over to him, laying an arm around him. “It is okay, Kili,” he soothes, stroking through the brunet’s hair. Then he looks to his nephew who stares at the two of them with tears in his eyes. “Come here, Fee,” he says warmly, opening up his other arm, allowing the blond to cuddle up against him. “You silly boys,” he whispers as he holds them both close. “Will you play nice now?”

Kili nods. “I’m so sorry. Fee" he repeats again tucking his head into his lover's shoulder.

Fili reaches out to grab the brunet’s hand . “I am sorry too,” he whispers. “I didn’t know …”

“Good lads,” Thorin smiles, stepping back out of the embrace. “Now, Mr Durin you have some tasks to complete. Before you make dinner as promised to my guests, I need you to clean out the pantry and help the maid with the laundry. Off you go.”

Kili looks his lover in the eyes. "Yes, Mr Oakenshield,"  he says sadly and leaves to carry out his orders.

Fili looks up to his uncle. “Why is Kili being sent to do lower servant work?”

“You know why,” Thorin says, taking his seat behind his desk and pulling his pen and a piece of paper towards him. “He has been out of order by hitting you and is being punished accordingly.”

“But he has explained why. I said something stupid ..”

“Fili!” Thorin interrupts his nephew, stopping his words dead. “Kili had a right to be upset, yes. But that does not give him the right to hit someone, let alone his master’s nephew. He needs to learn to control his temper or he will find himself in worse trouble in times to come. Do you understand?” he looks sternly at the blond.

“Yes, uncle,” Fili nods. But he feels awful that his friend is in trouble over something that he had started.

++++

Kili paces the kitchen nervously hoping the meal was up to his Thorin’s family's standards after everything that had happened he wanted everything to be perfect and had ended up making game pie, with a variation on the fried potato chips he had in London with his lover and a blackberry and apple pie for dessert with custard.

He finds himself hating his punishment and had to admit it was a good one.  He missed being in the presence of his lover, missed the secret glances that were just for him. There were whispers and sniggers everywhere he went it seemed the whole of the manor seemed to know about the incident in the woods and we're taking great delight in his punishment. _Screw them,_ he thinks after a maid begins to laugh as he washes up.

When eight o'clock comes he slowly makes his way to his lover’s office to report to him as was expected at the end of a work day and knocks the door.

"Uncle has gone to the chapel."

Kili jumps in surprise at his friend's voice from behind him. "Oh okay, I guess I'll report in later then," he says, then remembers his lovers wife's anniversary of passing being tomorrow and curses his actions more for piling on to an already stressful time.

Fili shuffles his feet. “I am sorry I got you in trouble with my uncle.”

"It’s not your fault; I need to control my temper.  Mr Oakenshield is right to punish me," he replies, looking at the blond’s purple eye.

Suddenly Fili grabs the brunet’s arm. “Can I ask you something?” he asks, breathlessly and with burning cheeks.

"Yes, of course you can, ask away," he smiles, puzzled by the blond’s flushed cheeks.

“I ehm ... ,“ Fili nervously hops around, not looking at his friend. “I was just wondering …”

" Just wondering what??" Kili asks kindly " Did you want to talk in private?" he asks, looking around the hall that they are still stood in.

“Yes,” Fili squeaks and he drags the brunet towards his room.

Kili shuts the door behind him and then both sit on his bed. "So what’s up?" he asks, feeling a little worried now.

“I was just wondering,” Fili says, his cheeks almost pulsing with the blush now. “Did you make my uncle queer?”

Kili jolts in Surprise. "N-no. He had another lover in London, before me,  a little younger than him, I think," he says honestly " And I don't think your uncle is queer so to speak. I think he likes both men and women," he adds.

Fili frowns at that. “So how did he catch it?”

Kili wants to laugh, but stops himself when he sees his friends confused face. “You can't catch it. It is who you are," he smiles.

“My father says it’s a disease,” Fili looks to the floor as he sits down on the bed. “And that you can be cured from it.”

"Well, I don’t know if it can be cured, but I don't believe it is a disease. If it wasn't for your uncle’s love for me I’d probably be drunk in Ma Molly’s brothel right now, being forced to have sex with men whose names I don’t even know," he says quietly.

“Maybe that is where you caught it,” Fili says, crossing his arms as he still struggles to get his head around all this. “Would you … would you like to be cured if my father could help? He might know someone …”

Kili feels a wave of anger rush through his body, but not at his friend at the blond’s father. _How dare he say such things, the idiotic man!_ he rages inside, but forces himself to remain calm on the outside. "No. I am happy and in love. I don't need any cure," he says with forced calmness.

Fili nods. “So ehm … how do you … like … well … two men …” Fili stutters, feeling his blush spread to his neck.

“Have sex?" he asks and swallows, suddenly understanding how Bilbo must have felt when he asked him. "Well … one will stick his doodle in the other’s bum," he explains.

“What’s a doodle?” Fili carefully looks up at his friend.

Kili can feel himself paling _Oh god, he’s as clueless as I was, shit!_ he thinks then swallows. "It’s your tackle," he explains. "One man gives while the other receives," he adds hoping to god he doesn't have to actually say it any clearer.

“D… does it feel nice?” Fili bites his lip, casting his eyes down again.

"Um it hurt when I had to do it when I did not want to …,” he shudders at the memory. “But with Thorin it felt wonderful," he admits thinking of both times with his beloved. “Like with the right person, when you can relax your body. Yes, it is really nice and makes you feel really good.”

Fili can feel himself stir at the thought and bends himself double to hide his shame. Ever since he had walked in on his uncle and the brunet he had not been able to get these dirty thoughts out of his head.

“I have only ever been on the receiving end," Kili admits feeling awkward noticing the boy shifting and can guess why. “So I don’t know what it is like the other way around.” He feels him cheeks heat. “But I would say it is nice too,” he whispers as he thinks of the noises Thorin had made.

“Kili …” the blond looks up shyly. “Would … would you kiss me?”

Kili hesitates a moment, surprised by the question. But then he leans forward and cups the blond’s face and gently brushes his lips against his friend’s.

Fili can feel a shiver run down his spine. “T-that felt nice,” he whispers.

Kili smiles. "That’s not a proper kiss though. A proper one is with tongues. D-do you want me to show you?" he asks, realising the blond is experimenting and not minding helping his friend learn; after all he owes him a big favour.

FIli nods, smiling shyly and leans himself forward towards Kili’s lips again. His heart is beating loudly and he feels his member quickly filling up with excitement. The brunet finds himself getting drawn into the kiss and slowly slips his tongue into the heat of the blond’s mouth. Fili closes his eyes as his friend feels his tongue around in his mouth. It feels a little odd. Slimy. But nice too. And as he gains confidence he begins to twirl his own tongue around Kili’s, whilst his hand moves onto his thigh. And he groans softly.

Kili can feel his friend’s hardness brush against his leg and slowly he pulls away thinking of his beloved. "I … I can tell you enjoyed that," be beams at his friend. "You are a good kisser and you will make someone very happy one day," he says kindly.

Fili beams at Kili shyly. “You are a good teacher,” he whispers at the handsome brunet. “I ehm … I had best be going downstairs,” he says, then feels himself flush again. “In a moment …” he whispers, folding his hands over his privates in embarrassment.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed. Hurts a little, right?" he asks.

“It’s a little uncomfortable …” Fili admits, shifting on the bed.

"What you need to do is go somewhere private, grab hold of your shaft - not too tight mind - and move your hand up and down along it. "When the blond doesn't look convinced he adds, "Trust me, it will help. Just keep going until … well, you will see,” he winks.

“My nanny shouted at me once for touching my thing,” Fili says, embarrassed by the memory. “She said God would punish me if I did that …”

"Well, she lied," Kili frowns and then smiles at his innocent friend. " Oh and thinking of something that makes you excited down there helps too." he adds as an afterthought

Fili lowers his eyes as he prematurely follows his friend’s instruction and the thoughts in his head slide back to that kiss that they shared and how he wishes that Kili had not stopped kissing him. He nods. “Thank you, Kili. You are a nice friend,” he says softly.

"You’re welcome Fee" Kili replies and watches his friend leave, gobsmacked at what had just happened.

After a couple of minutes he tries his lover’s study again, and then, realising the time is slowly turns to the room opposite and gently knocks the door.

“Come in,” Thorin calls out as he takes off his jacket and begins to loosen his collar.

Kili nervously enters the room "Good evening Sir" he says quietly.

"You have finished your chores?" Thorin asks as he turns to his lover.

Kili flinches at his lovers choice of words and instantly feels about ten years old " I have about an hour ago, sir.”

“Excellent. And the food was exquisite. My brother and sister-in-law were once again impressed by your culinary skill,” Thorin compliments, although keeping the conversation neutral. But he had felt proud of his Kili when his brother had complimented the game pie.

“Thank you, sir,” Kili answers, feeling quite proud and relived that at least they had not spat out his food in disgust. “Fili said you were out when I reported to your earlier, so we...." then he then he hesitates unsure whether to tell him about the conversation and kiss.

"So you what?" Thorin asks suspiciously. He had not forbidden Kili to speak to his nephew, but he cannot help but wonder what trouble he had got himself into this time.

"If there is nothing else, sir, I'll bid you good night," Kili says avoiding the question and turns to leave.

"Kili, wait," Thorin says.

Kili halts, feeling his heart beat fast. " W-was there anything else, sir?" he asks, slowly turning around.

"Yes. I'm visiting Arwen's grave tomorrow. I would like for you to accompany me." Thorin raises his hand to brush a strand of hair out of Kili's face, but then remembers Kili's punishment and lowers his hand again. "I thought you could visit your mother's grave if you wished to," he says softly as he takes off his shirt, readying himself for bed.

" Yes, I'd like that," he smiles softly as relief washes over him. "And I’m glad your family liked the meal I prepared," he can’t help feeling a little proud. "Was there anything else I can do for you my... Sir?" he asks quietly.

"No thank you, that will be all." Thorin looks into Kili's beautiful brown eyes and remembers the last couple of wonderful nights he had enjoyed with him. But he calls himself to order. "Goodnight Kili. Sleep well."

Kili looks his lover in his eyes. He longs to reach out and touch his face and finds himself forgetting about his punishment for a second and reaches out to cup his face, then he remembers himself and pulls his hand away. "Apologies, sir. Goodnight" he says sadly and leaves his lover’s room.

Thorin stares after the brunet. "Goodnight ..." he whispers as the door falls closed behind his lover, knowing he is doing the right thing but feeling sad and lonely nonetheless. And he wishes for nothing more than to hold his Kili in his arms tonight to wash away his heartache.


	42. The Ones We have Lost

As they travel in the carriage towards the cemetery the atmosphere between them feels heavy. Thorin is somber as he broods over the anniversary of the death of his wife and unborn child and Kili feels equally sad as he thinks about visiting the grave of his mother of the first time since her passing.

Thorin slowly looks up at Kili. “Are you alright?” he asks softly.

"Yes and you? " Kili asks with concern and takes his lover’s hand in his, feeling a rush of sympathy for him.

“Hm,” Thorin sighs and looks out of the window again. But despite their agreement to keep their distance he finds himself threading his fingers through Kili’s as the gesture soothes his emotions.

"I have visited your wife's grave before. Only outside ... I used to come with Ma every year. She used to put a white lily by the door.  I mean to carry on the tradition," Kili says pulling a lily out of his pocket. "If you don't mind," he finishes unsurely.

“That is really sweet of you,” Thorin smiles at Kili, wrapping his hand tighter in his own. “Thank you.” He looks out of the window again as his chest feels tight with emotion. “It would have been my son’s birthday today,” Thorin suddenly says. “He would have been twelve years old today.”

Kili wants to wrap his arms around his lover, desperate to offer him some form of comfort, but settles for the hand holding. He can feel his heart break with sadness at his beloved’s words. " I'm so sorry for what you have lost," he says quietly,  wishing that Thorin was sat with his wife and son rather than an undeserving servant. But to his surprise Thorin puts an arm around him.

“But I have also gained,” he smiles at Kili and flicks the tip of his nose softly with his thumb. “I am sorry for your loss too.”

Kili gives him a little smile. "Today is about your loss not mine. I'm just glad you have let me come with you after everything that happened yesterday.”

“Of course I did,” Thorin dismisses the notion that he would not have allowed Kili to visit his mother’s grave. “Besides, things seem to be okay between you and Fili now?”

"Yes, it is," he says. "He has been asking me a few questions," he admits suddenly nervous.

“Questions? What questions?” Thorin asks, a little distractedly as he rubs his thumb over the back of Kili’s hand.#

“ Erm… well about sex with a man, He asked how you do it,” he can feel himself getting slightly aroused by his beloved’s touch and leans his head onto his shoulder.#

Clarity of mind suddenly hits Thorin as he looks at Kili in shock. “He … what?!” He feels his face pale as he takes in this information. “What did you say to him?!”#

“ I told him when you are with someone you really care about and love it is amazing,” Kili says quietly.

Thorin grabs Kili’s face between his large hands. “Don’t!” he whispers anxiously against his lips. “Please Kili … don’t encourage my nephew into sin.” He squeezes his eyes shut as he feels Kili’s breath on his lips. _I don’t want that life for him. He deserves to be happy with someone whom he can have on his arm, not a lover who has to hide in the shadows with him.#_

“ What we have got is not a sin, it is beautiful” Kili argues. _He can be just as happy with a boy as he can with a girl._  “ There’s something else as well he…. well he” He finds himself losing nerve and begins to bite his lip with worry. _Thorin will be angry; he will be really mad!.#_

“Call it what you want,” Thorin sighs in frustration, “but I will not see my nephew be labelled as wicked by society.” He narrows his eyes at his young beloved. “What else?”

“ He...he asked me to kiss him,” he admits looking at the floor of the carriage. “ He wanted to know what kissing was like”.#

Thorin feels the blood still in his veins. “And you said what?” he asks, dreading the answer as the words leave his lips.#

Kili can hear his beloved's heart beat quicken and backs away a little. “I kissed him” he whispers.#

He feels as if all the moisture has been sucked from his mouth as his throat constricts. _Of course. I am such a fool. Why would Kili choose to be with me, a man more than twice his age!_ “I see,” he whispers, dragging his gaze away as he stares into nothingness when he lets go of Kili’s hand.#

Kili can feel tears fill his eyes when his lover turns his back on him “ I didn’t like it” he says in a low voice “I didn’t like it because it was not you” he lets out a little sob “ and now you are really angry at me” _you should have kept your mouth shut you idiot!_.#

Thorin slowly turns back to Kili. Of course he is hurt, wouldn’t Kili be if he found him kissing someone else? “Why did you tell me?” he asks as his eyes grow dark. “Why did you kiss him?”#

“ Because I owed him, It was just after I punched him, and I have told you because it means nothing to me” he says looking Thorin in the eyes he can see hurt and anger behind them “ I love you”.#

Thorin looks into Kili’s large almond eyes seeking the truth behind these words. Then he begins to laugh. “You punch my nephew and so you kiss him to make up for it?” he clarifies the situation. “You are just one big heap of trouble, aren’t you?”#

Kili lets out a sigh of relief. “You are not mad at me?” he smiles and takes his lover’s hand in his again. “You had me scared there” he admits bringing his hand up to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on it.#

Thorin snorts and shakes his head. “If I ever find you kissing another man again you won’t live to regret it,” he semi jokes. “Do you still have my ring?” he asks softly, brushing Kili’s cheek.

Kili pulls on the rope he had tied around his neck with the ring on and pulls it out from under his shirt. "Always have it with me," he replies. #

“Will you wear it for me? Today, as we visit the cemetery? I want Arwen to know I am with someone who makes me happy,” he smiles faintly.#

"Of course, my love," he says, taking the ring off the rope and slipping it on his finger. #

Thorin lifts Kili’s hand and presses a kiss on it then looks out of the window again as the carriage passes the cemetery gates and comes to a slowing halt inside the gates.#

Kili can feel his love’s hand begin to tremble. "We will do this together, Thorin,"  he soothes and gives him a kiss on his cheek. "I will always be with you  that I promise." #

“You really are an angel sent from heaven,” Thorin smiles. Then he smirks. “This punishment of yours is not exactly going to plan is it. I am growing soft in my old age,” he laughs.”#

Kili laughs back. "You are right, not going to plan at all. I am sorry, I don't mean to break my punishment,"  he says bowing his head. #

“It is alright,” Thorin smiles. “You have kept your promise in front of my family. And Frerin seemed remarkably accepting of the punishment I had chosen for you. I think despite what he is saying out loud, he likes you.”#

Kili laughs. "If that is liking, I dread to see what hating i,."  he states. "Fili is scared he will go mad when he finds out he wants to be a lawyer rather than a doctor," he says as they get out the carriage. #

“Thank you, Balin,” Thorin smiles to the old man, taking Kili’s hand and placing it on his arm as they walk along the snowy paths. “Is that what he said to you? That he wants to be a lawyer?” he raises a surprised eyebrow.#

"Yes, he has never wanted to be a doctor, he wants to be a lawyer like you. But he never had anyone to talk about it," he says letting out a sigh. "He doesn't want to go back to Manchester either. He is lonely; I feel sorry for him," he confesses sadly. #

Thorin feels a jolt of guilt as he realises that Kili has gotten to know his nephew better in the space of a few days than he has in sixteen years. “I will talk to him. When we get back to Erebor,” he says. “Thank you for telling me. And for talking to Fee, I am glad he found a friend in you.” _Provided that he is not expecting more than friendship._ #

"You are welcome, my love. He is a nice boy, just seems confused about the world," he states.

“He has lived a very protected life,” Thorin says softly. “I understand that. It is a harsh world which we live in and I know my brother just wants the best for his son. You must not judge him for that.”#

Kil nods. “I know and maybe I am being a bit judgemental after everything but why can’t Fili be a lawyer if that is what he wants?”,#

“Maybe he can,” Thorin smiles kindly, feeling a little proud that his nephew might want to step into his shoes one day. “I will u speak to Frerin. I could get him a place at the bar if he wants to.”#

Kili feels a bubble of excitement flood through his body “ Does that mean,I could see him more, I don’t really have many friends never have really”,#

Thorin looks a little suspiciously at his lover, the hurt at his betrayal even if it was with good intentions still throbbing in his heart. “Maybe,” he says a little coolly.#

Kili can see the hurt in his lover's face and hastily changes the subject "Yesterday nearly killed me, not being like this with you. I didn't sleep last night, I so wanted to knock on your door, to be with you, " he says smiling. "I'm so glad you are letting me come with you today. #

Thorin feels happy and a little reassured by Kili’s words of love and his need for him. “You have behaved well. For all of one evening …” he smirks. “Still, your only problem, little Kee, is your temper and your lack of boundaries. When we return this afternoon I expect you to carry on with your punishment as I decreed.” He smiles and after quickly looking around gives Kili a fleeting kiss on his cheek. “Although I must admit I find this as much a punishment for me as it is for you, my sweet one. I miss you so.”#

“ And I you, you are my gentleman and I hate not being around you. If this is the punishment for me losing my temper I am never raising my voice again," he complains. "I can't help I have a temper, you met my mother right? Mine’s mild compared to hers," he says sulking. #

Thorin chuckles. “Indeed. And with your father and all I suppose it is a miracle you have turned out as angelic as you have.”#

"I dont have a father. If anyone asks I tell them he is dead," Kili replies coldly. "Balin says I’m a copy of you at my age,"  he smiles. #

“I don’t know whether to feel flattered or offended,” Thorin laughs. “But I suppose he has a point. I was a handful of trouble and all as a teenager,” he admits. “And my temper does rival yours. As for your father, I think it is no less than  what he deserves. He has lost out on a beautiful son as far as I am concerned. Yet if he had not been the evil man he turned out to be, you would not be on my arm today. So he has lost out twice, my sweet one.”

They stop before the Oakenshield mausoleum with a well kept fenced off area around it. “Balin comes here at least once a month,” Thorin explains as he lets go of Kili’s hand on his arm. “Please love, would you give me a moment?” he looks to Kili.#

"Of course, my lover, just let me know when you’re ready. I'll just be inside the church," he says feeling sympathetic and kisses his lover on the cheek and slowly enters the church. #

Thorin slowly opens the door to the small stone building. He looks at the engravings on his parents gravestones, running his fingers over the markings, before his eyes move to the latest addition to the small mausoleum. He places the bouquet of flowers that he had brought with him in the small niche to the side of the burial place and lays his palm against the cold surface. “Arwen, my love,” he whispers. “A merry Christmas to you and our son. How I wish you could be at my side today.” he takes a deep breath and wipes a hand over his beard. “I … I brought someone with me today. I don’t know if you remember him. He was but four years old when you passed over, my love. He is Dis’ son, grown into a fine young man now. I hope you will forgive me my sin, my beautiful wife, for I love him. I tried not to. But he is good to me. He makes me happy when I thought all happiness was gone from my heart forever the day I lost you and Aidan.” He brushes away a tear that trickles down his cheek. “I pray that you approve and that you will see me happy again with someone, even if it has to be a secret.” He presses a kiss to the palm of his hand and presses it back against stone that marks the grave. “Sleep well, my sweet ones. You are always in my heart.”#

Kili begins to walk around the church,  he doesn't believe in any god but finds it beautiful all the same. It is  freezing cold and he  sits in a pew waiting to be called. He thinks about the small family mausoleum and feels sadness flood over his body. _When I die_ _I won’t be buried near Thorin._  #

When he can hear the familiar step of his beloved he turns around to look into Thorin’s grey blue eyes. “It is a lovely church, is it not?” Thorin says softly. “A little piece of heaven on earth.”#

The peacefulness of the place seemed to calm his soul. "Yes, it's so quiet too," he says in a whisper afraid to wreck the silence. #

Thorin sits down beside his lover and they sit together in silence for a while, enjoying the spiritual peacefulness of the church. Eventually Thorin turns to Kili. "Did you want to put the flower for Arwen inside the mausoleum?" he asks softly.#

Kil nods not looking at Thorin’s face trying to hide his hurt and upset. _today is about Thorin and his wife and child not about you being sad_ Kili scolds himself. “I have never been inside one before,” he says quietly, feeling a little nervous at what lies inside such a building.

Thorin smiles warmly at his young beloved. “It is fine, Kili. There is nothing to see inside, just stone plaques in the wall. Nothing frightening.”#

Kili nods and takes his loves arm " I know I was young but I do have a memory of your wife, Ma, her and me walking in the woods and a patch of bluebells. In the centre" then he smiles " If I remember rightly she put one in my long hair. #

Thorin brushes his gloves hand along Kili’s cheek. “That is a beautiful picture,” he smiles. “She was very fond of you, you know. And of your mother. It was Arwen who convinced me to hire Dis.” He lowers his head. “I am sorry that I did not take care of you and your mother as well as I should have.”#

Kili looks into his lover's sad face. " It's alright. You kind of shut yourself off in your grief, I can understand that," he says grabbing his lover’s arm and heading towards the church door. "And I didn't have a bad upbringing. I got to run around the estate and feed Jayne pinched apples.". #

Thorin smiles faintly and as they stop in front of the stone mausoleum again he lays a hand on Kili’s shoulder, pushing the door open for him.#

Kili slowly walks into the small stone chamber. _It is so much smaller on the inside than on the outside_ , he thinks, a little confused. On either side are plain stone walls, but in the end wall there are rectangular plaques with the names of the Oakenshield family on them. Then he realises why the chamber is so much smaller, the back end of the mausoleum contains the coffins of its residents.

Thorin watches Kili frown at the plaques and walks up to the one which has his wife’s name. “This is Arwen’s resting place,” he says to Kili, running his fingers over the lettering.

Kili nods and turns to the appointed place. "I … I know I didn't really know you that well, but my mother always spoke of your kindness. But I do know your husband and he is everything to me. My life would be meaningless without him in it.  He makes me want to be a better man and has my heart completely. I hope you would understand us being together and I promise I will look after him forever," he says feeling tears in his eyes and wiping them away. "Sleep well," he finishes and places the lilies with his beloved’s bouquet next to the sarcophagus. #

“Thank you,” Thorin pulls Kili against him and he rests his lips against Kili’s forehead. “You are beautiful, just like she was.”#

"As are you," Kili replies wrapping his arms around his lover’s neck. "And I do love you with all of my heart," he says running his hand in his gentleman's hair. #

“I know you do,” Thorin smiles but slowly takes a step back as he feels conscious of his parents resting place here also and the disapproval that undoubtedly comes from his father. But he shakes off the feeling. “I think she would approve of you at my side,” he says softly. “Now, let us pay our respects to your mother as well.”#

Kili can feel his heart sink. "I don't know if I can,"  he says quietly.#

"You said we would do this together, so together we will," Thorin says encouragingly. "But if you don't want to, there are a few things I would like to say to her if I may."

Kili nods. " I still can't believe she is gone," he says with tears rolling down his face and grabs hold of his lover’s arm. "Just dont leave me,” he says and they slowly make their way to her resting place.

Thorin kneels down to brush the snow off the stone. _Disabella Durin_. He looks up to his beloved and takes his hand in his. “You must allow yourself to grieve, Kili. Talk to her, it will help.”#

The brunet kneels down holding his lover’s hand and looks at the stone. "I miss you so much Ma. I find myself looking at the shack everyday and expect to see you walk out the door and each day I feel sorrow when you don’t,” he sobs. “When you first left me I was so mad at you for leaving me alone. But I am not alone. I found someone I love, Ma, and he has promised to love me forever,  Thorin kept his promise to you and he looks after me so well,  makes me feel so wanted.  I know you would be happy for us," he smiles through tears. "We will be going back to London soon and even though I won’t be near you,  you will always be with me in my heart. Merry Christmas, Ma," he finishes wiping his eyes on his sleeve. #

“That was beautiful, thank you for your sweet words,” Thorin whispers in Kili’s ears as he pulls him close against him. He does not care for the strangers walking past, for all they know they could be father and son knelt by the grave of a wife and mother. He holds Kili tight for a few moment and then presses a soft kiss against his temple, before turning his attention to the stone.

“Dis …” he clears his throat as he voice seems to have abandoned him and comes out in a croak. “Dis,” he tries again, clearer this time. “I must beg your forgiveness for I failed you. I tried to do as you asked, to take Kili to his father. But it was a mistake.” He takes a slow breath as he remembers everything that had happened up to his revenge on the man who had hurt his beloved. “I hope you will forgive me that I failed to protect your son. I promise you no harm will ever come to him again. I love him with all my heart and I will do everything in my power to keep Kili safe and make him happy. Thank you for granting me your son.” He takes Kili’s hand with the ring on it. “If it were within my power I would ask you for his hand in marriage. But even if we may not be bound before God as such, in my heart he always will be.”#

Kili beams. "And I would say yes, I will be by your side till the end of time," he whispers to Thorin feeling himself well up. #

Thorin looks into Kili’s dark brown eyes. “Would you really?” he smiles softly. “Marry me if we could?”#

Kili nods. "Yes, in a heartbeat. I'd be honoured to be your husband,"  he says kissing his hand. #

Thorin shivers as he looks at the sincerity painted in Kili’s face. “I so want to kiss you …” he whispers breathlessly, but slowly rises to his feet instead.#

" I want you to as well," he says and stands up linking his arm with Thorin’s. Then he suddenly realises something. "You have never told me; what did you name your son?” he asks. #

Thorin smiles sadly. “Aidan,” he says softly. After Arwen’s brother. He died at the age of ten, so I never knew him. Like I will never know my son either,” he swallows the lump in his throat.#

Kili grabs his lovers hand tightly. "Aidan Oakenshield sound's perfect for a son of yours, You would make a fantastic father," Kili smiles. #

“Why, my love,” Thorin whispers, with a hint of sadness and an edge of self-mockery in his tone, “that definitely will never happen between us. I will just have to be a fantastic lover to you and a great uncle to Fili instead.”#

Kili smiles. "You are the greatest lover and Fili really looks up to you. I think he wants to be just like you" #

“Good Lord, Heaven save him …” Thorin utters and chuckles. “If you are all set, we had best head back. Last day with the family and I have promised Fili that we would shoot this afternoon after yesterday’s ehm .. mishap shall we say. Which will be a good opportunity for me to have a chat with him as it will be just the two of us.”#

Kili smiles sadly. "I would like to be able to join you,"  he mutters. "But I’m sure you have some lovely chores for me," he says, his smile dropping a little. #

“Indeed. Joining me on a hunt is for men who have earned that trust and do not go around punching their fellow men.” He ruffles Kili’s hair. “Don’t worry, if you manage to behave today, perhaps tomorrow if the weather stays good we could go riding together. But you will have to earn such a perk.”#

Kili can't help feel excited at this idea. "Oh yes please, I would like that, my love," he beams. "So what horrid tasks have you set me today?" he asks gloomy. #

Balin tips his hat as he sees his master and his valet approach and opens the door. “Was all in order, sir?” he enquires after the state of the grave.

“Perfect, Balin. You take good care of her,” Thorin smiles faintly and climbs into the carriage. Once Kili is seated and the carriage begins to move he looks at the brunet. “Let’s see … the kitchen has a stack of silverwear to polish, which I think will keep you occupied for at least a couple of hours. Thereafter you will assist the stable boys with mucking out all the stables. A lot of horses on the estate leave a whole lot of mess,” he grins.

"Perfect, I'm going to smell delightful," Kili says sarcastically. "Well I had better change before I do that, otherwise I will get horse shit all over my lovely uniform."#

“Such an eloquent speaker you are,” Thorin laughs. “Alright, I will see you when I return from my hunt with Fili,” he says when they arrive back in Erebor. “And Kili,” he turns back round to his lover, “please try and go one day without upsetting my brother.”#

Kili sighs "  I will just keep away from him; might be safer," he says before they part ways and he makes his way towards the kitchen.#

+++

Thorin watches Fili as he carefully aims his rifle at a place in the distance. There had been movement in the undergrowth and they are both holding their breath. Moments later a shot rings out. “Too bad,” Thorin smiles and clasps the blond on the shoulder as he misses his target. “I would have struggled to get that from this distance too, though,” he encourages his nephew. And you already got that rabbit. Kili will be pleased, he was looking forward to making a rabbit stew.”

Fili Beams at his uncle excitedly. "Oh I like rabbit stew. Perhaps he will let me help," he says, bouncing on the balls of his fee. He had quite liked cooking with Kili; he made it really fun.#

“I am sure he will. Does that mean you are friends again now?” Thorin asks carefully.#

"Yes uncle. I like Kili, he’s kind to me. It’s nice to have a friend," Fili says, feeling his his face begin to flush at the thought of his handsome friend.#

“I understand from Kili that you don’t have many friends in Manchester,” Thorin decides to start on a neutral subject, feeling a little sadness as he watches the blond shuffle his feet.

"Not really, uncle. All my friends were at boarding school and live miles away and father and mother don't let me leave the house on my own," he replies a little sadly. "Wish you lived nearer, so I could visit you and Kili."#

“You can still visit. You can come to London on the train. We would both like that,” Thorin smiles. “Fili,” he says in a more serious tone. “I know that you are supposed to go to medical school in the new term. Is that really what you want to do?”#

"It’s what father wants for me so it’s what I will do," Fili replies automatically. " It doesn’t matter what I want really," he adds trying to make his voice sound happy.#

“It does,” Thorin says sternly. “I have been there, Fili,” he says as he grabs his nephew by both shoulders. “I tried to do all those things that my father wanted. It has done me no harm, but equally it did not always make me happy. If it wasn’t for your father, what would you like to do? Tell me honestly, Fee.”#

"I … I’d like to be a lawyer like you," he says barely above a whisper. "But I don't want father to be angry at me either, uncle," he says, looking at his feet.#

“Why don’t we go and talk to him together?” Thorin smiles, brushing his hand through the blond’s hair. “If it’s what you really want. Mind you, being a lawyer is not easy. It will take you many years of very boring studying and even more boring casework before you get anything interesting. But if you really want to do it I can certainly help you get a place at the bar. Or you can do something in Manchester. There are many avenues and we can talk them through with your father.”#

"Oh thank you, uncle. I want it more than anything" he replies jumping up and down excitedly. "Can you truly help me?” he asks.#

“I will do my best,” Thorin embraces the young man. “Now, there is another matter I wanted to discuss with you …” he says glancing around as he feels the flush run up his neck. “Kili told me that ehm … you two … kissed?”#

Fili lowers his head and nods. " He was only teaching me how to," he blushes. " Are you angry with me?" he panics and suddenly wonders if he has got his friend into more trouble with his uncle. "Please don't be mad at Kili, he only did it because I asked him to."#

“I am not mad with Kili. Nor am I with you,” Thorin says softly. “It is okay to experiment. although  not with your uncle’s partner …” he stresses, then laughs at the embarrassed face of his nephew. “But for this once I will let it pass,” he winks. “However, Fili, I know this is a bit of an awkward topic, but ehm … does that mean that you have feelings for boys?”#

Fili shrugs. "I don't know. I think so, but father says its a disease. I asked Kili and he says it’s not," he replies. "I have never liked girls, but I have found myself noticing boys," he admits. _Well, Kili … he’s gorgeous!_ #

 _You poor thing,_ goes through Thorin’s mind, seeing himself as a sexually confused teenager reflected in the blond’s piercing blue eyes. “I see. Now, I agree with Kili in that I do not believe it is a disease. But I am all too familiar with your father’s opinion on the matter. Fili, there are two very important things that you must know. Firstly, it is not wrong to love somebody or to be happy with someone, no matter who they are.”#

"Oka," Fili nods. "And the second?"

“The second,” Thorin sighs as he wraps his arm around Fili’s shoulder,” is that unfortunately the world is not yet ready to believe in the first. There are many people out there who will disagree with me. Who will say it is a disease, like your father, or a sin, like mine. Fili, if you do find that you like boys, please be careful. You must never do any experimenting in public or tell anyone unless you really trust them. It could see you in no end of trouble, including prison, if you do.”#

Fili nods then bites his lip. "Uncle,  how did you know you love Kili?" he asks, wondering how to even spot when he falls in love.#

“Gosh,” Thorin scratches his beard as he contemplates the question. “I guess I get this funny feeling in my stomach whenever I see him, like when you are nervous and excited all at once. I want to be with him all the time and when I am not I cannot stop thinking about him.”#

Fili thinks about his uncle’s words. _I feel like this about Kili. God, am I in love with Kilii?_ he panics, feeling his face flush red _I can’t be!.#_

Thorin watches the blush spread in his nephew’s cheeks and cocks his head as he feels his stomach churn uncomfortably. “Fili …” he says softly. “Is there something you would like to tell me?”#

Fili shakes his head. _How do I tell him that I think I am in love with the same person as him?_ he begins shuffling his feet and finds he can’t look his uncle in the face. _I love him. No, I can’t love him, he is Thorin’s!#_

Thorin can see the nervous flitting in Fili’s bright eyes and feels his heart beat fast in his chest. _Oh my god, he is falling for Kili_ , he realises with a shock. _Am I seriously going to have to compete with my own nephew over my secret love?_ “I think we had best head back,” he says thickly. _They are leaving tomorrow, it is alright. It is just a crush, he will get over it when he is back in Manchester._ But he thinks he will just make sure that the boys are not left alone in each other’s company for the remainder of his brother’s stay here.

+++

Kili can't help but feel miserable. All the other staff seemed to find it hilarious that he was labouring like a lowly servant and would say sarcastic comments. The brunet found himself balling his fist on numerous occasions, but forced his anger away. _Ignore them. If you get mad you can’t go riding tomorrow,_ he keeps repeating to himself and he takes his anger out on the horse dung.

When he hears footsteps he whizzes around to be met by the cocky stable boy. "Plenty more where that came from, Mr Durin. And make sure to wash the muck off the walls," he says smugly, leaning against the stable door and watching Kili work.

Kili has to resist the temptation to pour the wheelbarrow full over the young red haired boy. "Anything else? he asks, keeping his voice even.

The boy smiles. "Yes, the paddocks need cleaning as well. And then you can clean all the tack. And I don't want you to dawdle," the other teen smirks.

Kili puts the pitchfork down and walks over to the boy. "I may be being punished at the moment, but I am still the master’s valet. Now I suggest you talk to me like you are supposed to or I will make sure the master hears of it, you understand?" he says sternly.

The boy pales. "Yes, Mr Durin," he says and runs off.

Kili turns to the empty wheelbarrow and takes it out of the stable to the dung heap, ready to start a fire later.#

+++

As Thorin arrives with Fili back at the manor house, he can spot Kili working in the stables as ordered. He takes in the frustrated frown on his beloved’s face, feeling a pang of guilt for making him work so hard and so far below his station. Then suddenly a mischievous spark takes hold of him as he remembers a conversation they had had when they were on the train from London. “Say Fee,” he grins at the blond, “I promised Mr Durin revenge for throwing a snowball in my face when he was younger. What say you, do you want some revenge for that beautiful black eye you got there?”

Fili looks at the brunet boy and then at the grin on his uncle’s face and finds his mouth pull into a wide smile. “Oh yes!” he replies and promptly drops the rabbits slung over his shoulder in the snow and bends down to scoop some of the fresh snow between his gloved hands, forming it into a well packed snowball as he watches his uncle do the same. #

Kili moodily piles the manure into the wheelbarrow. _Damn horses! Why the hell do they shit so much, stupid animals!_ he thinks in anger as he finds a pile buried under the straw and shovels it up.#

Thorin motions to Fili to follow him to the other side of the stables, his hunter’s instincts kicking in as he attempts to make as little sound as possible. He catches Balin’s eyes, who raises an eyebrow at the two sneaking gentlemen, but nods as Thorin puts a finger against his lips and then grins as he realises what they are about to do.

A moment later the first snowball flies through the air hitting Kili right in the nape of his neck, whilst Fili’s manages to hit him just on the back of the leg.#

Kili jolts forward in surprise as the cold snow hits his body and nearly topples forward into the muck. He grabs hold of the wall to keep himself up and spins around, his face full of thunder. But when he sees his lover and friend in fits of giggles his face breaks into a smile. "Bastards!" he says under his breath and rushes out of the stable to grabs a handful of snow.#

Thorin and Fili quickly scramble to scoop more snow and soon a full out war breaks out between the three men.

“I promised you I would get my revenge! Thorin calls out as he manages to hit Kili right on the nose.#

"This means war!" Kili laughs and pelts his lover straight in the face with a large ball. "Haha got you," he laughs, pelting another at his blond friend.#

Thorin laughs loudly as the two teenagers launch ats each other as they roll around in the snow, getting completely soaked. The snow knots their hair together as the battle for dominance, each rubbing handful of snows in the other’s face. Feeling a little bit like a fifth wheel he turns his attention to his butler and makes the old man gasp in astonishment as he gets pelted by his boss. “Mr Oakenshield!” he cries out, but promptly scoops up some snow from the veranda to give his master a piece of his own medicine.#

Kili laughs. " Go, Mr Balin, get him!" Then the butler chucks one at him too. "Hey!" he calls out, scooping up a handful and chucking  it at the old man and then another hastily at his friend. #

Fili pelts the brunet with just handfuls of snow, not having time to form them into a ball as Kili fires another at him. He whirls around to chuck a snowball as his uncle, hitting him square in the chest and then squeals as Thorin grabs him and lifts him up, only to chuck him softly into a big pile of snow.#

Kili laughs and points as Fili is covered and chucks a huge snowball at his lover’s chest. "Yes!" he shouts as he hits true.#

“You little …!” Thorin growls and makes for Kili, to give him the same treatment as he had his nephew.#

"No, Thorin!" Kili squeals and hastily picks up some snow and begins running around randomly, chucking the snow wildly. He feels his lover’s hands on his waist as he finally manages to grab hold of him and begins tickling his sides. "Nah, stop!" he giggles, then turns around and his face instantly drops when he sees Frerin in the doorway with a face full of snow, and nudges his lover to get his attention when he tries to bury him in the snow.# 

Thorin pulls Kili’s tunic up a little and stuffs a handful of the cold wet snow onto his stomach. Then his face pales as he realises they are being watches by his none-too-amused brother who has snow stuck in his hair and scarf. He quickly jumps to his feet and grins at his younger sibling. “I could do with some reinforcements here,” he calls out, trying to entice his brother into letting go a little and join in the winter fun.#

Frerin walks over to his brother. "People are watching you, brother. You behave inappropriately with the boy. What the hell are you playing at?!" he hisses.#

Thorin gets to his feet and brushes off his clothes. “Oh come on, Frerin, will you just lighten up,” he sighs. “We were having a snowball fight, all of us. What’s the harm in that? Even old Master Balin joined in,” he smiles at the butler, who is still dusting snow from his coat.#

"You were touching the boy’s stomach! He is your servant and he called you by your name and you didnt even flinch. You are thirty-four, act it!" he reprimands him then looks at his son. "Come Fili, you had best get changed for dinner," he says.#

“No,” Fili snarls. “Stop treating me like a child, you're embarrassing me, father.”#

" _I_ am embarrassing _you_? You are rolling around playing in the snow like some servant boy!" Frerin snaps and glares at Kili, wishing he had never allowed this friendship. "You are a young gentleman, soon to go to university. Act like it!" he thunders.#

Thorin crosses his arms as he steps in between Fili and Frerin. “What happened to you, brother?” he shakes his head sadly. “When we were sixteen we got up to such mischief. When did you turn into such a miserable old goat?”#

" I grew up, which you clearly didn't rolling around in the snow with servants!" he shakes his head in disgust. "My son will not act like a commoner,  he will know his place in society," he snarls. "Fili, get inside now!" he shouts at his son.

Kili gets up, having watched the exchange, and makes his way towards the blond. He can see he is getting upset and wants to comfort him, but Fili shakes his head. “Don’t get yourself in any more trouble, Kee,” he whispers, giving the handsome brunet a shy smile, feeling his stomach jolt.

“His place in society is what?” Thorin snarls at his brother, pushing him back with his palms against his chest. “Doing a job he does not want to do? Anything to please his old man, like I tried to when you told me I should follow my heart? Remember that, brother?!”#

"I was young and stupid" Frerin thunders then turns to Kili. "You are a bad influence on my brother and my son. Philip would never have answered back until he befriended you. You keep away from him!" he orders then turns back to his brother. "Philip will be a doctor. Keep your nose out," he growls.#

“Go to hell,” Thorin growls and turns on his heels. Then twists round again, poking his finger against his brother’s sternum, shouting at him, “You know what day it is today. You know how I have pined and grieved for twelve years, wishing that God would just take me from this world and end my sorrow. And now you lay into me for having a bit of innocent fun? Get out of my face, NOW!”#

Kili stands near his lover and can sense his rage. He wants to both calm him and lamp his lover’s brother at the same time. "Sir, maybe you should go into your study. I'll make you a nice hot drink. _A brandy,_ he thinks in his head." He puts his hand on his lover’s arm to try and encourage him to walk away. #

Thorin looks at the hand on his arm and then looks at Kili’s concerned face. Then he turns back to his brother. “The _boy_ speaks more sense than you!” he bites and then storms towards the main house.#

Kili can't help but scowl at his beloved’s brother and hurries after his lover.

"I don't want to be a doctor, " Fili says bravely to his father, edged on by all the arguing, then races after his uncle and friend.

Thorin is walking extra fast where he is so angry and Kili has to run down the corridor to catch up. He can hear footsteps behind him and quickly glances behind him to see Fili following. Once he gets to his lover’s office door he doesn't even bother knocking and runs in wrapping his arms around his lover .#

"It's okay, Kee," Thorin sooths the brunet. "It always goes like this over something or other. Me and my brother are just on different wavelengths. Come summer we'll be fine," he jests.

"How dare he talk to you like that!" Kili thunders. "This is your home, to do what you wish. He is your guest" he rages.#

“It is also his home, Kee,” Thorin says calmly. “It is our family home. It is just what siblings do. Now where is that drink you promised? I am freezing.” He kisses Kili's head then startles as the door opens, only to find Fili standing in the doorway.”I think we should all get changed,” he smiles as he invites Fili into the group hug, “and then have some hot chocolate, what do you say Kee?”#

Kili beams feeling himself calm a little. "Have you ever known me turn down chocolate?" he replies then looks down at his dirty clothes. "And I stink so will be happy to get out these rags," he laughs.#

“I think we’ll all appreciate that,” Thorin laughs and sends Kili on his way. Then he turns to his nephew. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” Fili nods. “I told him I don’t want to be a doctor,” he says with a little pride.

“Good lad,” Thorin smiles. “And I had a lot of fun with our snow fight, regardless of what my grumpy brother says.”

“Me too!” Fili gleams, “I had the most fun!”

“Good. Now off you go and get changed and meet me in the smoking room. We will have a lovely cup of hot chocolate and one of the left over mince pies that you guys made.” And he watches the blond run off happily.

He slowly turns to the desk taking a long deep breath. “Oh Arwen, this is where you and Kili are so different,” he whispers as he picks up the yellowing photograph. “You would have had Frerin wrapped around your little finger with your charm. But then I suppose it does not matter what Kili does. He is a servant boy. And my brother will never see past that.”


	43. Snow Job

Kili stands beside his lover, a mixture of relief and sadness washing over his body; relief that Thorin and him can begin to enjoy their alone time again, but sorrow at saying goodbye to his new friend. He looks up at his beloved and can see the same mixture of emotions going through his mind too and he longs to reach out and grab his hand.

His blond friend walks towards him, looking just as miserable.

"I will miss you," the brunet says with a lump in his throat and wraps his arms around his friend in a hug.

"Will miss you too," Fili sighs feeling sick at the thought of not seeing Kili again for he does not know how long. He is surprised at how strong he feels about Kili now when only a few days ago he'd thought the brunet just a stupid servant boy who didn't know his place. "I will write to you," he says, then remembers that Kili cannot read and frowns.

 "Your uncle is teaching me how to read and write,” Kili sees the disappointment in Fili’s face. “It will give me motivation to learn quicker," the brunet replies with a smile. "And I'll try and send you some homemade fudge at some point," he promises, feeling a little emotional. 

"That sounds amazing! If my dad will let me I might do some cooking at home." He sighs and stares at the ground. "I doubt he will though. Especially now that I've upset him about the doctor thing... Anyway," he forces a smile back onto his face, "best be off then. You take care." He desperately wants to lean forward and give Kili a kiss, but he knows he cannot either in fron of his parents or his uncle and settles to turn away.

" Fili," Kili says, grabbing his arm. "Don't let him bully you into being who he wants you to be," he says quietly so only the blond can hear. "I meant what I said you can do anything,"  he says with a smile. "Come and visit us sometime. Take care" 

Fili nods unsurely before he rushes over to his parents who are saying to goodbye to his uncle.

“It has been lovely to see you,” Thorin smiles at Frances. “I hope you have a safe journey back.” Then he turns to his brother. “Why, this has been … entertaining,” he snorts, but pulls his baby brother into a strong embrace nonetheless. “Look after yourself. And don’t be too harsh on Fili,” he whispers in his brother’s ear. “Give him a chance to be himself. Your relationship will be better for it.” He pulls out of the embrace and smiles at his brother.

"Take care, brother," he says with a smile. "I shall write to you soon and might take you up on that offer to visit you in London.

“I’d like that. Safe journey.” Thorin waves as his brother and wife make their way to the coach. He smiles to Fili and wraps his arms around him. “You are a fine young man, Fili,” he says softly to the blond. “Follow your heart. And if you really want to become a lawyer then you must tell your father. I promise you I will help you.”

“Thank you, uncle,” Fili sighs sadly. “I will miss you.”

“And I you. But you and your dad must come and visit me soon. And I will show you all of London,” he smiles at the blond and squeezes his shoulder. “Take care.”

“And you,” Fili beams at the thought of going to see his uncle and Kili in London and then runs after his parents.

"I’m going to really miss him," Kili admits sadly.

“Me also,” Thorin agrees. Then smiles a cheeky smile at his brunet lover as the carriage disappears out of sight. “But there is an upside to them leaving …” he looks deep into Kili’s eyes.

"Oh, and what might that be?" he smiles.

“I get to have you all to myself,” Thorin winks and then takes a brisk walk towards the stables, where his horse and Kili’s are already saddled as he had instructed.

The brunet follows with a huge grin across his face as he sees Guinness waiting patiently for him and mounts him with no help. "You have the best ideas," he says, stroking the horse’s ears. 

“Ready then?” Thorin

Kili nods and follows Thorin’s horse out of the yard. “Where are we actually riding to?" he asks enthusiastically, feeling instantly comfortable. 

"Somewhere that used to be very special to me when I was a young boy. Is your back okay?" he enquires. Frerin had said the stitches would need to be removed once they got back to London.

"It feels better," Kili says, moving his back. "I was lucky your brother knew what to do," he admits.

“He is useful for some things,” Thorin jests. “Well, in that case … You wanted to go faster. Want to try a canter?”

" Wow yes, how do I er canter?" he asks looking at the reins.

“Not much different than making him move. You just need to get your body in the right position. Let’s start with an easy trot. We’ll do a rising trot; that is easier to learn. Just add a little bit more pressure with your calves and your heels if necessary. Then rise your pelvis and sit back down in motion with your horse.” He pulls gently on the reins to circle Kili. “I will show you, just watch me.”

"Okay," Kili watches his lover and smiles. "Oh I like that motion," he giggles then copies Thorin. "Like this yeah?" he asks riding in time with his beloveds horse.

 

“Just like that,” Thorin chuckles. “You keep practising that thrust, my love, I am sure it will come in handy,” he winks as he spurs his mount on a little more.

Kili laughs feeling a sense of relief to be able to talk so freely without worry. "It is nice it just being us. I don't have to remember you are my boss and to call you _sir,_ " he says spurring the horse on a little. 

“It is,” Thorin smiles back. “You really are a natural at this,” he compliments his lover. “And you look so hot in the saddle,” he groans softly.

“I think you should wear your riding gear all the time. Your butt looks gorgeous in those tight trousers," he purrs, winking at his sexy gentleman.

“Mr Durin,” Thorin frowns playfully. “These trousers are indeed somewhat tight. May I ask you not to make them any tighter, please!”

Kili lets out a chuckle. "Can't believe you are my man when you dress like that. I find myself thinking, ‘damn how did I bag someone that handsome’?"

Thorin relaxes his reins a little and lets Jayne slow back down as he waits for Kili to catch up. “You flatter,” he grins. “And for that, young man, you will have to sleep in my bed tonight.”

Kili looks up at his lover in surprise. "Really? Can I?" He asks excitedly. "I have missed laying with you so much."

“No-one of importance we need to worry about now,” Thorin beams at Kili. “Balin already knows.” He forces Jayne to a halt and reaches out to stroke his hand along Kili’s face. “Tonight you will sleep where you belong. In my arms, my beautiful one.”

Kill beams at his lover. "You make me feel safe, like nothing can harm me when I am with you. And the nightmares don't come when I lie in your arms," he says, shuddering at the thought of his night terrors.

“Good. Now then, my knight, ready for the real thing? Do you feel confident enough?”

“Bring it on!" Kili replies confidently and prepares himself to canter.

“Try to relax and sit back in the saddle. It will make it more comfortable for you as well as Guinness. Keep a good hold on the reins but not too tight. Let him guide you. If for whatever reason you want to stop just pull the reins back gently. He’s a lovely horse, he will follow Jayne without a problem I am sure.”

Kili nods and sits back in the saddle and takes a couple of deep breaths. "Okay, let’s do this and pray I don't fall off and land in the snow," he  jokes giving a nervous laugh.

“You won’t,” Thorin smiles, although naturally he is a little worried. “Follow me.” And he presses his legs against his horse’s flank to encourage her into a fast trot and straight into a canter.

Kili copies his lover and an exciting thrill washes over him as the pace quickens. "This is brilliant!" he shouts to his lover who is just in front of him.

“Keep going!” Thorin calls back. “You are doing great!” He guides Jayne towards the folly, feeling the cold winter air whip around his face.

Kili follows his lover matching Jayne’s pace perfectly. "Such a good boy," he cooes to Guinness.

“There,” Thorin points as he pulls the reins a little and slows Jayne down to a gentle walk.

Kili takes in the quiet secluded spot Thorin had picked and looks at the beautiful stone folly covered in white sleet. "This is beautiful, I never knew this was here," he says astonished. He used to explore the woods as a child and suddenly realises just how big his lover’s estate really is.

“Not many people do nowadays,” Thorin says as he pulls Jayne to a halt and dismounts, landing in the soft snow. He pulls the reins into a knot, knowing that Jayne will not wander off and walks up to the abandoned building, turning round to look back towards the estate. “You can just see the tower from here,” he points. “I will ask Balin to employ a logger in summer to clear the path again so that you can see the house from here once more. Although I quite like the seclusion of it at the same time,” he smiles as he watches Kili glides down to the ground.

 Kili looks around. "I can see why you like it. No-one to bother you here you can just be alone with your thoughts," he says and smiles.

“Indeed,” Thorin smiles and he takes Kili’s hand. “Or with a lover,” he grins and leads him inside the open temple like structure, where he pulls him close. “These last few days have felt like a lifetime,” he sighs as he brushes his hands through Kili’s hair.

Kili nods. " I have hated my punishment," he says, kissing his lovers cheek. "I cannot believe how much I have missed just being near you.”

Thorin cups his lover’s face and brings their lips together in a needy kiss, slowly taking possession of his sweetheart. Kili allows himself to be drawn into the kiss enjoying the  warmth of his lovers mouth as he explores it with his tongue.

“I have missed this,” Thorin breathes heavily as they slowly pull apart. He can feel his arousal press hard inside his riding trousers now. “Hell, I have missed you!” he growls more urgently, pulling Kili back against him as he assaults his mouth with even greater desire this time round.

Kili can feel his lover’s hardness press against him as he is pulled closer. "Missed you more," he purrs, matching his lover’s urgency and reaching for his trousers button. "Standing at attention for me, I see," he smiles as he begins to rub his love’s clothed erection.

Thorin whimpers as Kili adds to the strain. "Want you right here," he demands and pulls at Kili's button, jerking his trousers down until they hang around his knees. And he places his hands on Kili's buttocks kneading gentle bruises into the soft flesh with his large hands.

Kili lets out a groan. "Oh Thorin, you make me so hard," he says, feeling his body tingle all over.

Thorin kneels down onto the hard stone pressing little kisses on Kili's thighs and stomach as he breathes in his sex, then buries his nose in the coarse dark hair from which he proudly rises. "Such a fine sword," he shudders as he wraps his hand around Kili's hardness.

The brunet moans softly as his gentleman begins to move his hand along his manhood at a teasing slow place. "Faster!" he orders thrusting into his lover’s large hand.

Thorin looks up at his beloved and grins at the young man’s eagerness and stills his pelvis with his other hand. “You don’t get to call the shots here, my love,” he grins. And slowly he parts his lips and takes Kili’s cockhead into the warmth of his mouth, running his tongue over the soft tip.

Kili lets out a little gasp of surprise at the incredible sensations that Thorin's tongue is giving his body and threads his fingers into his dark mane as his gentleman bobs his head up and down his length, causing him to groan loudly in pleasure. 

“You like that?” Thorin whispers huskily as he pumps at Kili’s cock with his hand, spreading the moisture of his spit and Kili’s natural juices along his length.

Kili nods. "Yes! I love everything you do to me!" he pants, looking down at his lover’s darkened lust-filled eyes.

The tall gentleman grins in satisfaction and returns his lips to work on Kili's cock, treating him to a barrage of licks and sucks as he slowly takes his prick deeper into his throat until can feel the flow of Kili's early juices coat his tongue.

Kili begins to thrust into his beloved's mouth, enjoying the warmth of his lover’s hot oven. "So nice, my love," he moans. “C-close …”

Thorin keeps his right hand wrapped around the base of his lover's tree, both to offer a firm stimulation and keep him from thrusting too hard into his throat. With the other he begins to fondle the tender skin of the youngster's sack, pulled tight around his stones. "Spill," he groans with his lips around Kili's crown, lapping at his slit.

Kili can feel his balls tighten as reaches his peak, within seconds spilling his pearly essence down his lover’s throat. Thorin feels the bittersweet taste of his Kili on his tongue and pumps his fist harder along his length to milk him dry. As Kili wobbles on his feet he pulls him down into his knees and takes his mouth into a messy deep kiss as he gives the young man a taste of himself.

Kili tastes his salty spill on his lover’s lips and tongue as they kiss passionately and deeply. "Is that really what I taste like?" he pants.

"Delicious, my Antinous," Thorin grins a cheeky grin at his lover as he wipes the spills from his lips. "Like ambrosia. Food of the gods!" he kisses his lover again.

Kili lets out a little laugh. "You are dirty! But that was ...." He starts but cannot think of a word to describe how good Thorin's mouth had felt.

Thorin licks his lips and then sits back on his long coat at he begins to wriggle his trousers down shivering at the colds air against his privates. "Ride me," he orders. "Show me what those sexy hips can do."

Kili smiles and positions himself over his lover’s lap. "You want a bit of a show do you?" he purrs kissing his lovers neck.

"Mmm yes," Thorin groans as he leans back on his elbows, placing his hands on Kili's thighs.

Kili slowly lowers himself down on his beloved’s shaft moaning loudly as he is breached by his gentleman. "You are so handsome," he groans shafting himself fully on his girth.

"God Kee, so hot on my cock," Thorin moans. "My lovely little one," he smiles heatedly.

The brunet begins to slowly move himself up and down onto his lover, finding great pleasure in his lover’s moans as begins to impale himself over and over again.

"Oomf, that's so nice," Thorin sighs heavily as he throws back his head.

Kili slowly increases the speed and bucks his hips, enjoying the full feeling he lets out a squeal of delight as his lover’s cock hits his pleasure spot inside him and can feel himself  begin to harden again.

"You eager little fox," Thorin grins as he teases his fingers over Kili's sticky shaft. "Oh just look at you, you beautiful little minx," he digs his fingers into Kili's thighs and moans loudly as Kili clenches him hard.

Sweat pours from him as Kili continues to buck his hips pounding against the older man’s balls letting out wanton moans of delight.

"Oh yes!" Thorin cries out, loving Kili's enthusiasm and lust driven eagerness. "Gonna fill up your little tight hole, my love," he growls as his nether regions pulse with his approaching climax.

"Yes, fill me up, lover," Kili orders as he continues to work them both into a frenzy.

Thorin can feel his cheeks burn fiercely with passion as his body feels on fire. "God Kili," he pants, "you're ... so... Ngh!" He curves his back  as he bucks his hips to meet Kili's thrust, growling and grunting his release into his sweetheart.

Kili smiles as he continues moving down on his lover’s cock through his orgasm, leaking his own juices onto Thorin’s stomach. "I'm so what my stallion?" he pants

Thorin laughs as he collapses onto the stone, panting as his heart feels like it might burst from his chest. "You're a dark horse," he grins and shudders as Kili shifts along his sensitive length. He wraps his arms around Kili's waist and pulls him close on top of him. "You're good... " he repeats his compliment from their last joining, meaning every bit of it. "Kili, I'm crazy about you," he kisses his neck and cheeks and nose. "And doing this with you is so nice."

Kili beams at his lover. "And I am mad about you, everything about you. The longer I am with you the more hooked I become," he confesses, wrapping his arms around his shoulder. "I wish we could stay in this moment forever."

"Mmm," Thorin agrees as he cuddles his lover closer. "But we probably should get dressed. Don't want you to get frostbite on your bits now! And then we can go shooting if you'd still like to."

Kili laughs. "Yeah, try explain that one to a doctor!" he kisses his lover’s nose. "And yes, teach me how to shoot!" he adds.

He cannot help throw Kili sideways glances as he gets dressed and Thorin blushes at how frank and crude in his vocabulary he had been with his young beloved. "You make me feel ten years younger," he grins at Kili as he buttons up his trousers. "Fooling around in the snow... My brother was right, I forgot to grow up at some point it seems. "

Kili laughs. "Maybe you brother needs to just get some, then he might relax a little," Kili jests picking up his hat.

"Kili!" Thorin calls out in shock. "I would rather not think about that!" But he can't help but snigger at that comment. He wraps his arms around Kili and presses their foreheads together. "Love you, little angel."

"I love you too. Thank you for bringing me here. It’s beautiful. Our own private place," he beams.

"Yes," Thorin smiles and then laughs as Jayne neighs her impatience at the two lovers. "Alright girl, we're ready!" and he walks up to the horses. "We'll go back to the house and have something to eat. Then we'll pick up the guns and I'll teach you how to shoot."

"Sounds good. Oh, but there's one more thing I want to do before we go," Kili smiles taking out his old knife from his coat and walking to a nearby tree.

Thorin frowns in confusion at the brunet and follows him. "What are you...? Ooh," he smiles as he sees what Kili's plan is. "You are such a romantic," he beams as he watches his beloved carefully carve a K and a T into the bark. After a couple of minutes of concentration Kili leans back and admires his handy work and wraps his arms around his lover. "Now our love is going to be remembered forever," he says happily.

Thorin struggles to swallow the lump in his throat. "I didn't think I'd find someone like you. Someone who shows me such love and devotion. I wish I could shout my love for you from the rooftops! "

"Me too. You're mine and only mine and I wish everyone could know it," he says, holding the older man tight. "But we can't so this is the best we can do," he adds a little sadly.

"It's beautiful," Thorin runs his hands through Kili's hair. "Now let's see if you can get Guinness to move without Jayne setting the pace. Lead the way my sweet"

Kili mounts the good tempered horse and whispers in his ear. "Come on GeeGee show them what's in you," and he starts to trot.

"You're doing well!" Thorin, who is keeping a short distance behind the pair, calls over. "Keep going!"

"Come on, my beautiful boy," Kili jeers the horse on and breaks into a canter. "Want to race?" he calls to his beloved.

Thorin bites his lip, unsure whether that is wise. The ground is slippery were the snow has frozen. "Maybe in... " he calls back but Kili is already off. "Kili, no! Not so fast!" he can feel his heartbeat speed up as he spurs on Jayne.

Kili can feel joy spread over his body as he begins to race through the woods. "Come on old timer!" he jokes and turns right, heading towards the manor.

"Kili, slow down!!" Thorin panics as the brunet and the black gelding temporarily disappear from view. "Come on old girl," he whispers desperately to his mare as they speed after the youngster.

The brunet laughs as they round the corner and come across the snow covered fields. "You have been riding for years when this is but my second time on a horse. You can do better than that, my love!" he shouts as he hears Jayne’s feet getting nearer.

When Thorin catches up with the brunet he is grinning widely at him. Thorin pulls Jayne to a skidding halt next to his beloved. “Damn it, Kili!” he growls, scowling at the brunet. “I told you to slow down! It’s treacherous with the snow underfoot!”

"I’m fine. As you said Guinness is a good horse," he says, repeating his words from a few days ago.

“You are a reckless boy!” Thorin grumbles as he dismounts. “You could have fallen off or broken the horse’s legs …”

"But I didn't and yes I am reckless but that’s why you love me," he says and kisses his cheek.

“Hm,” Thorin grumps as he leads Jayne towards the yard. “You had better listen to me when we go hunting,” he continues to moan under his breath as they approach the stables.

Kili suddenly looks at his lover more seriously. "I will, I promise. I don't want to shoot myself or even worse you. I’d never forgive myself," he says quietly.

Thorin turns to look at Kili. “Good,” he says sternly, but he is just worried for his sweetheart. “Now, firstly a nice cup of tea and a cake,” he smiles.

"Sounds like heaven" Kili replies following his lover into the smoking room and sitting in a velvet green chair. "I am never going to get used to there being so many servants here," he comments as a young girl brings in a pot of tea and a plate of assorted cakes, looking a little nervously at the two men as her eyes flit with surprise between the master and his valet sat down together. But she knows better than to say something.

“I was close to selling the estate,” Thorin admits, as he takes a cake off the plate when the girl has gone.

Kili jolts in surprise and nearly chokes on the rock cake he is eating. "Why?" he coughs.

“It is very expensive to maintain such a large estate,” Thorin calmly explains. “I have been thinking about it for a long time. After Arwen died … I am never here, spending most of my time in London. Frerin does not want to move back here; he has his home and his work in Manchester. And then when your mother passed away as well my mind was pretty made up. The paperwork is already with the solicitors in London. It just requires my signature. And Frerin’s of course.”

Kili can feel an overwhelming sadness creep up on him. "Are you still going to?" he asks, praying that he has changed his mind after everything that had happened here this Christmas.

“I discussed it with my brother. I am not sure ... “ He smiles as he looks into Kili’s lovely brown eyes. “What do you think?”

Kili wants to tell him _no,_ that this is his home too but knows he has no say or rights. "It’s up to you, it’s your home," he replies quietly, suddenly not very hungry anymore.

“It is your home too,” Thorin knits his eyebrows together. “You grew up here.”

"I did,” Kili replies a little unsurely to be asked about something so important. “I guess … I think it would be a shame to see it go, but as you said it is expensive to run and now there is lots of staff to pay too," he says and shrugs. " Only you know what's right, my love" he pushes the cake away and takes a sip of his sweet tea.

Thorin takes a deep breath and lights a cigarette, offering Kee one. “Smoke?”

Kili nods. "Yes please," he smiles, taking a smoke out of the box and allowing Thorin to light it. He takes a slow drag. "If you did sell what would happen to Mr Balin?" Kili worries.

 

“I would ensure he has money to buy himself a nice place in town,” Thorin reassures his love.

Kili smiles. "Good, because he is sort of like a father to me and helped my mother raise me. I would hate to think of him with nothing," he says quietly and takes another drag.

Thorin feels a little offended at the suggestion that he would kick old master Balin out without anywhere to go but then reminds himself that Kili had spent his younger years in rags because he had been too preoccupied with his own life and grief to see what was happening on his estate and he swallows his pride. “Anyhow,” he says softly. “I have had a wonderful few days here with you and with my family. You have given me some wonderful memories of this place to cherish again, Kili. I have dreaded to come back here for so long, to be reminded of my loneliness and my sorrow the moment I stepped through that front door. But you have changed that. So perhaps I should not make any hasty decisions. Seeing Erebor Hall once more filled with laughter and energy and people has been … a revelation. Perhaps I should give it a little time, let Balin take care of cleaning up the grounds, sort out some of the maintenance that has fallen behind. We can come back here in summer, spend a couple of weeks here. What do you say?”

Kili wraps his arms around his lover. "I say hell yeah!" he laughs. "And we can go on long horse rides and picnics and hunting trips. Oh perhaps Fee can visit," he says excitedly. 

“Then that is what we will do,” Thorin smiles. “I spoke to Fee … about jobs and … other matters,” he says carefully, in case someone walks in.

"How did it go" he asks in a low voice.

“He was honest. And I told him to follow his heart. But to be careful.”

"I told him much the same with the job thing, I worry for him that he’s going to end up being what his dad wants him to be. I told him he has the education to do anything," Kili says.

“He does. But sometimes we do make decisions for reasons other than ourselves. It is not always a bad thing. As long as he ultimately ends up happy.” He finishes his cigarette and his tea and smiles at his lovely brunet. “Ready to shoot some dinner?”

Kili nods. "Are we taking the horses too or going by foot?" he asks stubbing out his smoke.

“Foot,” Thorin says curtly after Kili’s little trick earlier and precedes him to the gun room.

Kili can't help but feel a little disappointed at not getting to ride again, but as he sees all the guns he smiles. "Which one can I use" he asks.

“Not that one,” Thorin says as Kili runs his finger along the barrel of one and watches with amusement as Kili quickly jerks back his hand. “Only because that is a hunting rifle, but for pheasant hunting we will take shotguns.”

"Oh okay," he says, backing away from the gun he had been looking at and looking at his lover. "So why do you use different guns?”

Thorin unlocks the cabinet where he stores the ammunition and takes out two boxes. "These," he says handing Kili a bullet, "are rifle bullets. As you can see it's just one bullet, fired at high velocity. It is used for accuracy at long range, mainly for big game like deer."

Kili nods, soaking in all the information. "Right okay, one bullet in the rifle for deer, got it," he repeats, looking at his beloved with curiosity.

"This," Thorin picks up another gun, "is a shotgun, like the ones I showed you to load on Boxing Day, remember?" he asks as he hands the brunet the box with ammunition. "These are loaded with cartridges with contain lots of lead bullets which will scatter when the shot is released creating a little cloud of bullets. So it's used for close up moving targets, like flying birds. It requires less accuracy. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, kind of," he smiles at his lover’s unconvinced face. "I'll be fine. And I will be really careful, promise," he adds looking in the box with interest.

"I know you will. I am actually rather excited about this," Thorin admits with a smile. He hands Kili the gun and picks up his own. "Ready?"

The brunet feels a pang of excitement. "Ready!" he replies making sure the gun is facing down this time.


	44. To Old Friends and New Happiness!

Kili is practically jumping with joy as the approach the manor with a rabbit and pheasant clutched in his hand. "I did it, I shot a rabbit!" he calls to Balin excitedly.

"Well well," Balin smiles at the youngster and then at his gentleman, who is beaming like a proud parent. "That's a fine catch indeed, master Kili.

"Thank you Mr Balin. We are going to have rabbit stew, with dumplings," Kili says happily.

"That sounds lovely," Balin says politely, but raises an eyebrow at Mr Oakenshield for the _we_.

Thorin holds up two more rabbits. "A good meal for three, wouldn't you say, dear friend?" he smiles.

Balin stares at the two men, confused. "Three, sir?"

Kili laughs. "Would you do us the honour of joining us for dinner tonight?" he asks politely.

“Me?!” Balin asks in astonishment. “But, sir …” he shakes his head.

Thorin sighs. “You are right. It would not be proper for the master to dine with his servants.” He holds the two rabbits out to Kili and gives him a furtive wink. “I wish you a pleasant evening together then, whilst I take my dinner alone …” And he begins to drag his feet up the staircase.

"Well Mr Balin, I have stew to make" the brunet says, looking sad.

Balin throws the brunet an unsure glance and then looks at the defeated stance of his master. “Sir … wait!” he says nervously and watches Thorin stop and slowly turn around. “It … it would be my honour,” Balin smiles.

Thorin beams back at his old butler. “Very good. I shall see you both in your dining room in a couple of hours then.” And before Balin has a chance to argue that latest comment he takes the stairs two steps as a time.

After two hours Kili finishes dishing up three large bowls of delicious smelling casserole and takes them up to the little dining room along with a bottle of red wine and a huge St Claire’s pudding for afters. His two fellow diners are already sat and waiting as he walks in. "Dinner is served " he announces.

“That smells absolutely delicious!” Thorin smiles as he takes the bottle of wine and begins to uncork it.

“Aye, it does, Kili,” Balin says softly, still feeling very uncomfortable to be sat at the table with his master, rather than serving him. “Would you like me to do that, sir?” he asks Thorin.

“No no,” Thorin chuckles as he pulls out the cork and pours a generous glass for the older man. “I can manage. And please, for tonight no _sir._ Just _Thorin_.”

Kili smiles up at his lover and the older man. "I hope you enjoy it. I put a bit more spice than usual to give it a bit of a kick," he picks up his spoon. "Thorin, am I allowed some wine, please?" he asks, giving his gentleman the widest smile. "I know I’m not meant to under my punishment …"  he adds pouting.

Thorin looks at Balin. “What do you think, old friend? Will Mr Durin be allowed a glass of merriness tonight?”

Balin smiles at the young man and then back at Thorin. “Sir … I mean, Thorin, I think he deserves it for putting that smile on your face. It has been so nice to see you so happy this Christmas. Both of you.”

Kili smiles at his old friend as Thorin pours him a glass of wine. "Thank you. It’s been a lovely Christmas. It’s nice to see the house so alive," Kili comments.

“That it has,” Thorin agrees and raises his glass. “To old friends and new happiness!” he cheers, clinking his glass against that of Kili and Balin. “And to throwing all the rules to the dogs for one night!”

"Agreed" Kili smiles, taking a large sip of wine. "Was meant to thank you for the wine for Christmas, Mr Balin. Fili and myself enjoyed it. I think Thorin did too," he adds cheekily, taking another sip of wine to stop himself from laughing.

Thorin can feel himself turn a bright shade of red and he makes sure to avoid Balin’s eye, sticking his fork into the casserole and quickly taken a mouthful. “This is very nice,” he says, trying to keep the wicked smirk from his face.

“It is,” Balin agrees, clearly missing the inside joke. “You are a fine cook, Kili, much like your mother was.”

Kili can feel himself blush at the compliment. " Well I learnt from the best," he says, wishing  his mother was here to see the house so joy-filled.

“You sure did. Your mother was a fine woman,” Balin smiles. “She would have been so proud to see you now. She always believed you were destined for great things,” he grins. “Thought that you would go out there and conquer the world. She saw your spirit shine from under the grime from an early age, Kili.” He turns to Thorin. “And I think she would have been most proud to see how Kili has made you happy once more. She loved your wife and her death devastated us all. But what saddened her more than anything was to see you lock yourself away, Thorin. If only she could see you now.”

Thorin smiles shyly at Balin. “Thank you. And thank you for being so accepting of Kili and I. I know it is the most unusual and unacceptable situation …”

“Neither of you have ever followed the norm,” Balin laughs. “You were born either several centuries too early or too late, who can tell. But what I see is devotion between the two of you. If the world knew more of how you two care for one another there surely would be more cheerfulness in the world. Who can fault that?”

 Kili can feel tears of happiness prick his eyes. "That means the world to hear you say that. We really do love each other. I will always will love you," Kili smiles at Thorin.

“And I will always love you,” Thorin beams back and takes Kili’s hand, pressing a kiss on it. “Thank you, Balin. You have always been such a loyal friend and you have been like a father to the both of us. When neither of our birth fathers would ever accept our relationship, your approval is very important to me.”

Kili can feel nothing but happiness in this moment then turns to Mr Balin. "Who would have thought we would end up like this two months ago. I was kind of scared Thorin would send me to a workhouse and now I’m so very happy." he admits.

“What will you do now, s...Thorin?” Balin looks to his master. “Will you take Kili back to London with you?”

“Yes,” Thorin smiles, taking another sip of wine. “Kili will continue to work as my valet and help around my London home.”

“How do people in the city perceive your ehm … relationship? Are they more accepting?” Balin asks carefully, taking another mouthful of stew.

Thorin laughs a sad laugh. “Hardly. Love between men is more prevalent or perhaps practised more openly in the city. But it is most definitely frowned upon and certain … matters … remain illegal,” he can feel his blush flare again as he reminds himself that he has now turned Kili a criminal by having intercourse with him. Not wanting to go into such detail, he quickly moves on. “We can never openly love each other, probably less so where we live in London in such a close-knit community.” He smiles at Kili. “Still, I would never give up on my Kili even if they brought back the death penalty for it. In my heart he is my husband.”

Kili smiles at the man he loves more than life itself. "And you mine. I would do anything to make you happy," he says, meaning it with all his heart. "I'd die for you."

"No!" Thorin snaps. "Don't ever say that!"

" But it’s, true I would" Kili states, taken aback by the sudden harshness in Thorin’s tone.

Thorin ignores their company for a moment as he turns to Kili, taking both his hands in his. "I would not lose another person I love. Ever. I could not deal with that. Your sentiment is sweet, but please Kili, I ask that not of you. _Live_ for me," he brushes his hand across Kili's cheek.

Kili smiles at his beloved. "I will," he says, leaning in to place a kiss on his beloved’s lips.

 

Balin shifts uncomfortably as the two men appear to have forgotten his presence and a coughs softly.

"Apologies old friend," Thorin smirks. "Must be the wine!"

"Indeed," Balin mumbles as he hurriedly begins to stack the plates.

"Oh, I made us a dessert too. Would any of you like some more wine?" Kili asks, reaching for a cupboard where he knows there was wine stored from Christmas Day. "Red or white?"

"Red!" Balin answers before Thorin has a chance to respond and the younger gentleman chuckles. "Red it is."

Kili pours his old friend a glass then turns to his gentleman. "Wine, my love?" he says innocently wanting nothing more than to get his lover drunk.

"Please," Thorin holds out his glass. "And I would not say no to dessert either!"

Kili pours them both a huge glass of wine and dishes out the dessert. "So Mr Balin. will you miss me?" he asks cheekily, knowing the poor man has been on his guard in case anymore arguments would happen since the day Fili arrived.

"Course I'll miss you, trouble!" Balin grins, feeling a little loosened with aid of the strong wine. "You're like a fifth son to me!"

“Fifth son?? Okay, I get Thorin and Frerin, but who are the other two?” Kili asks, taking a large swig of wine.

Thorin almost spits his wine across the table in laughter. "Oh that does not include me or Frerin! Or his daughters for that matter, does it now you old bull?"

Balin can feel his cheeks burn. "Why, Ehm... No... " he mumbles, filling his mouth with dessert. "This is lovely!" he states whilst chewing, trying to change the subject.

“How many children do you have?" Kili asks in shock as the man had never mentioned his children before. "And where the hell have you been hiding them?" he half jokes.

When Balin continues to stare hard at his dessert plate, Thorin chips in, glad to be on the other side of the question bank this time. "So there is your four sons and what is it - three daughters? Of course those are the ones you know about," he grins. "Our Balin was quite the Don Giovanni in his younger days!"

Kili feels his jaw drop.  "Mr Balin!" he says shocked as he looks at the man’s flushed face and can't help snigger as he tries to imagine the elderly man trying to woo lots of women.

"Come on, Balin," Thorin reaches out for the liquor cabinet. "Let's warm your tongue a little. You used to tell me and Frey such stories!" As he puts a glass of brandy next to Balin's glass of wine he smiles to his sweetheart. "Balin used to work on the ships when he was a lad," he explains. "Has he never told you any of this?"

"No never" he says astounded at this new bit of knowledge.

“It was a long time ago,” Balin shrugs as he downs the brandy in one. “Besides,” he mumbles, “it is hardly appropriate material for a young boy.”

At that Thorin laughs loudly. “Why, I think our Kili is grown up enough now.”

Balin gives Thorin a cheeky smile and Kili can see the twinkle in his eyes. “Aye, so I gather, Thorin,” he says, encouraged by the alcohol. And to Kili, “I guess you are not the innocent little boy that left the estate to go to the big city, thanks to our gentleman here.”

Kili smiles a little shyly. "Certainly not a little boy,"  he says. "But you are changing the subject! Come on, Mr Balin, I want to hear about your adventures at sea."

“It’s not at all the romantic adventure that Thorin here is trying to paint,” Balin says, but there is a smile around his lips as he reminisces about those good old days. “It was bloody hard work I tell ya! Started off as a dockside coaler, helping to shovel the coal into the ships bunkers. But finally I convinced a captain to take me on as a stoker. I tell you this, young man, that was a tough job! Long days working in the smoking hot belly of a ship! But oh we had a laugh. You had to y’know, when you spent weeks together with your mates in such a small space!” And with both Thorin and Kili hanging on his lips and relaxed more by each sip of wine Balin begins to tell his stories of his travels on some of the large steam ships, about the hard work but the equally hard play. How they used to stumble onto dry land after weeks at sea, “desperate for a stiff drink and a good lay,” Balin laughs unabashed, leaving Kili staring at him in shock as he tells of his amorous adventures.

 "Mr Balin, you naughty bugger!" Kili says astounded at the last story of three women in one night.

“Oh no no no, no buggery, young man!” Balin laughs loudly. “I always came through the front door!” he says drunkenly.

Thorin actually has to hold his kerchief to his face as he snorts brandy through his nostrils. “Indeed, or you would not have ended up with a lass in every harbour with a little boy or girl Balin hanging off her skirts!” he cries out in laughter, wiping the tears from his face. They left the wine behind after the third bottle and the brandy is flowing merrily now.

Kili begins to giggle. "Oh you can just see it!" he laughs, downing another glass. "You’re a sly fox, Mr Balin," he slurs.

“Aye, but honourable!” Balin says, pouring the three of them another glass. “Always left my woman with a pocket full of coin and visited whenever I could.”

“Until you met Elizabeth,” Thorin says, knowing Balin’s stories inside out.

“Ah yes, the most beautiful woman of the Commonwealth! She made an honest man out of me,” Balin sighs. “Left me sealegs behind for her, I did. That is how I became a footman and a later a valet for your father.”

"Aww you fell in love. I can just imagine you as a love-struck puppy," Kili smiles. "Did you marry her after she made an honest man out of you?" he asks, taking another swig.

“Aye I did,” Balin gleams. “Sadly my Elizabeth was not able to give me a son. But she was a good woman. Thorin still remembers her.”

“Only faintly,” Thorin says. “I was six or seven when she passed away?”

“Seven,” Balin says a little sadly.

"I would have liked to have known her," Kili says truthfully.

“To Elizabeth!” Balin holds up his glass. “And to Arwen and to Dis! To all the beautiful women in the world!” he chuckles as he downs his glass again.

“And to beautiful men!” Thorin laughs as he raises his glass.

“Aye aye, sir,” Balin smirks. “And to beautiful men. Like our young Kili here, right Thorin?”

Kili can feel himself blush. “There’s more beautiful men than me, Mr Balin,"  he mutters.

“Thorin doesn’t think so,” Balin grins widely at his master, seeing the sparkle in his blue eyes. “He is smitten with you alright. My guess is Mr Oakenshield is teaching you a lot more than shooting rabbits!”

"Mr Balin!" Kili says, burying his face into his hand in embarrassment.

Thorin laughs loud in his deep rumbling laugh. “You dirty old man! Making my poor love blush like a maiden!” He cocks his head at Kili. “Damn, you are cute when you blush,” he smirks, teasing his finger along his neck. “Wouldn’t you say, Balin?”

“Sir, I do not play backgammon!” Balin pulls a shocked face, but then laughs. “Aye, he is cute,” he says as he pushes back his chairs and wobbles to his feet. “Now if you’d excuse me, I must find me bed now …” he stumbles a few steps forward then stops, leaning onto the table. “Or I could just sleep right here …” he sighs.

Kili giggles and looks at his beloved. "Would you like us to make our way to bed, my handsome gentleman?" he asks.

“You …” Balin utters to Kili. “Sssh,” he puts his finger to his lips as he rests his head onto the table.

Thorin leans his head on Kili’s shoulder. “Yes please,” he murmurs, playing with Kili’s hair. “You are cute,” he slurs again.

“And you are the sexiest man in the world," he purrs, giving him a sloppy kiss.

Thorin pushes his own chair back, yanking Kili to his feet and into his arms. “Come’on then lover,” he grins, “bedtime!”

“I hope not just sleeping." Kili whispers. "I want you to ruin me," he purrs, kissing behind his ear.

“Again?!” Thorin gasps. “You will the death of me!” he moans half-heartedly. He looks at the elderly man, who has slumped back on his chair and is now snoring loudly with his head on the wooden table. “You want to fuck?” he slurs to Kili, grinning widely.

"Yes, always, sexy," Kili says running his hands in his lover’s hair.

Thorin groans, “You horny little thing!” and he twists Kili around and pushes him hard over the table, his one hand wrapped around the nape of his neck as his other begins to fumble with his trousers.

Kili looks over at Balin. "Y-you want to take me here?“ he asks, but finds himself tingle with excitement as his lover pulls at his breeches.

Thorin groans as he struggles with the garment and presses his crotch hard against Kili's backside.

"Need you, Thorin," Kili groans as his shaft quickly hardens. ”Now!" he orders.

Thorin finally manages to undo the youngster’s trousers yanking them down only enough to expose his backside and he unceremoniously prods his fingers between Kili's cheeks. "Open and wet still," he smirks heatedly as his fingers feel around Kili's soft insides still coated in his cum.

Kili begins to groan as his lover explores his entrance. ”God, that’s so nice," he groans, enjoying the feeling of Thorin’s large fingers filling him as he wiggles them around.

"Take me inside you," Thorin whispers in his ear as he pulls out his cock and pulls his fingers out with an obscene pop, instantly replacing them with his urgent need. "You dirty boy," he nips at Kili's back as he drives himself hard inside his wet heat.

"I'm your own dirty boy," Kili pants as his lover drills into him and he can feel Thorin's hot moist  tongue licking down his back.

"You like it rough?" Thorin growls low in his throat and he moves his hand into Kili's hair twisting the strands around his fingers and pulling at the roots.

"Yes I do, I like you ever which way, my love, but I want to feel it tomorrow. Give it to me rough," he orders as his lover pulls him back onto his cock.

Thorin places one hand on Kili's hip, forcing him into a fast pace riding along his length, whilst he moves the other to Kili's throat. He makes not for further conversation as he pounds Kili's backside relentlessly, moaning softly as his hardness grows with the friction.  He keeps half an eye on the old butler, but Balin is out cold and his snoring is drowning out most of him banging Kili against the table until he stutters his hot release into his sweetheart. As he pulls back, he takes a few stumbling steps backwards, until his back hits the wall and he grins at the sight of Kili bend over the table, utterly ravaged and soiled, his seed seeping down the youngster’s thighs.

Kili can feel the sweat running down his back and sticking to his shirt. "That was..." He pants but can't get his words out and stumbles knocking into his beloved.

Thorin grins and bites Kili's neck as he strokes along his throat. He looks over at Balin and is satisfied that he has remained passed out through the whole thing. "Oops," he chuckles.

Kill giggles. "Do you think he heard?" He slurs putting his hand down his trousers and tugging at his prick.

Just then Balin lets out an almighty snore, making the two lover’s jump. "I don't think anyone did over that noise," Thorin snorts, his tongue thick from the alcohol. "Let's finish that in my room," he grins at Kili's desperate palming and yawns.

Kili reluctantly lets go and nods. "Alright m...my love," he whimpers and stumbles forward.

They manage to find their way towards Thorin's bedroom, giggling and whispering. When they finally crash through the door, Thorin falls straight onto the bed, not bothering to undress as Kili has sucked every little bit of energy from him with his unrelenting demands for pleasure. “Love you …” he mutters breathlessly, his eyes already shut.

The brunet looks at his lover and can see he is nearly asleep. He lets out a sigh and joins his lover on the bed. "Love you too. Guess I'm taking care of this myself," he mumbles indicating to his shaft and continues palming at himself until he spills his seed and falls asleep in his gentleman’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> backgammon players was a slang term/ code for homosexuals


	45. Liar!

Kili feels sadness flood over him as he looks at the little boy he has become quite fond of. He gets down on his knees not caring if proper and wraps his arms around the young boy “ I will miss you be good for your Ma” he says and takes out a coin handing it to the boy “ get yourself some sweets” he says with a grin.

Maurice clings on to the brunet man’s coat. “I don’t want you to go” he says his chin begins to wobble and tears prick in his eyes.

Thorin watches Kili and the young servant boy from the top of the stairs feeling a surprising sense of sadness for leaving Erebor. This Christmas period had been the first in years that he had actually enjoyed and now this once sad and abandoned manor held such sweet memories also, not least that first evening with Kili …

He is startled out of his thoughts when he hears Balin cough softly behind him. “Are you all set, sir? Is there anything you need me to do?”

Thorin turns around and smiles at his elderly butler, briefly putting a hand on his shoulder in a gesture more akin an old friend than a master. “No thank you, Kili has taken care of all the packing already.” He looks at his sweetheart again and watches him wrap his arms around the young boy. “Just take care of this place for me. And the people working here. Don’t let this place become the darkness it once was.”

Balin smiles at his master, at the happiness clear in his face when he looks at the young brunet. “I wish you both well in London, sir. And I hope you will return to Erebor in the spring.”

Kili ascend the stairs and up to Thorin and Mr Balin and wraps his arms around the butler. “Take care of yourself” he says smiling “ I shall miss you” he can feel a lump in his throat as his mother enters his thoughts.

“And I you, master Durin,” Balin grins at the young man. “And look after the master,” he winks.

Kili turns back and smiles “ I shall Mr Balin, very well” he can feel his cheeks blush “ Goodbye”.

+++

As Kili gets off the train he can smell the pollution of the capital - the smoke from factories and the dirt of sewers - and can hear the busy platform before he even has a chance to look around as he carries two suitcases, one in each hand, with chattering teeth. “It’s freezing,” he moans.

Thorin smiles at his beloved as he holds a carriage. "It is actually warmer in the city by at least a couple of degrees because the population is so much denser," he says as he climbs into the carriage.

 "Oh, well it feels colder," Kili says quietly, getting into the carriage with his beloved. He looks out of the window at a couple of children playing in the snow. He has mixed emotions about being back in the capital. _But at least we can share a bed here,_ he thinks, trying to be positive.

"I guess I'll just have to think of ways to keep you warm then," Thorin grins softly as the carriage begins to move.

Kili smiles thinking back to the previous day and feels a tingling warmth flood his body. "Yes you will," he wraps his arms around his beloved.

Thorin pulls Kili in close wrapping his coat around him as they cuddle. "Thank you again for an amazing Christmas," he says for the hundredth time.

Kili leans up and places a kiss on his lover’s lips. "You are wonderful and it is me who should be thanking you, my love,"  he says softly, running his hand through Thorin’s hair.

Thorin sinks back contently in the soft leather seat as he thinks back to the last week and a bit. The whole thing had been complete and utter chaos, trying to keep everyone out of everyone else’s hair, but such were what Christmas holidays were meant to be all about. And Kili was his now. Life felt complicated, but wonderful at the same time. Kili had truly made his life worth living again.

Kili closes his eyes finding himself relax in his lover’s warm embrace. "I'm going to miss home"  he mumbles finding himself quite sleepy in his lovers arms.

“Yes,” Thorin nods. “I think I will too.” He thinks again about his consideration of whether to sell the estate. _I should wait. For now, I should wait until I have made up my mind on where we go from here._

When they enter the small London apartment that had been his refuge from the world for so long, Thorin thinks the place feels cold, not just physically, but kind of soulless without any Christmas decorations or the homely features of Erebor Hall. On the other hand, however, he cannot help but smile when the lights spring on at the simple flick of a switch and there is running water in the kitchen.

“Will you make a fire, my love,” he asks Kili, pressing a kiss on his cheek as he takes one of the suitcases into the bedroom.

Kili walks over to the fire place and starts to build a fire with a few logs and coal. "I am going to have to get some more coal and wood, you are nearly out,"  he calls as he places the last log on the fire. He moves to the kitchen and fills up the copper kettle and brings it back into the living room placing it on the fire to heat.

“No problem,” Thorin smiles as he takes a seat in his chair, folding out the paper. “I will give you the key to the safe so you can access the household cash when I am at work and you can buy the things we need,” he says a little absently as he reads through the front page of the news.

Kili sits close to the fire a little unsure what to do. With all the chaos before Christmas and all the preparations he had not had any time to just sit and do nothing and now he feels restless. _There must be something, to do_ he thinks to himself and walks into the kitchen he opens up a cupboard and begins searching through it

Thorin frowns as he reads the article that his eye has fallen on in the first place, but then looks up as he hears the racket coming from the kitchen. “Kili, what in God’s name are you doing in there?” he grumbles.

"Making myself useful!" the brunet replies reaching for a pan at the back of the cupboard. He takes it out and puts it on the side then grabs the bag of flour. He is unsure what he is going to cook but finds himself unable to just sit there while his lover reads, still feeling a little on edge, like he should not be sitting there while his master relaxes, even if Thorin is now so much more than that.

Thorin jumps to his feet, disturbed by Kili’s rummaging and peeks around the kitchen door. “Making anything nice?” he enquiries with a smile.

 Don't know yet," the brunet replies, looking through the expensive spices. "Any requests?“ he says putting on the apron.

Thorin eyes his sweet beloved with a smile. “Something sweet. Like you,” he grins, then throws the paper onto the worktop with a sigh, feeling deeply frustrated.

Kili grins back, unaware of his lover’s underlying mood. "Well, you can have me any time you like, handsome," he says wrapping his arms around Thorin’s waist.

Thorin swallows hard, taking Kili’s hand off his waist and placing a kiss on it as he looks into his gorgeous eyes. “Not any time, we cannot forget that,” he shakes his head and he places a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I have to go out for a bit.”

"Oh," Kili says, trying to hide his disappointment. “Okay,  I'll find something nice to cook for when you get back." He tries to sound cheerful and goes back to the cupboard. "How about apple cake? I think we still have some apples in the cellar."

“Apple cake sounds lovely,” Thorin nods. “I will see you in a bit, my lovely little one.”

"Yes see you in a bit," he says, turning his attention to the stove. "And  I will make stew for supper". ,

"Good, I will make sure I am back in time," Thorin calls out as he grabs his coat and hat off the hook again and hastens out of the door, his heart racing. He contemplates whether to try and track down Thranduil but in light of what he had read that might be too risky. And he decides to make for the Ten Bells to hear the full story.

 _He didn't even give me a kiss goodbye,  what if he has changed his mind and doesn't love me?_ Kili frets as he walks back up the stairs from the cellars. Doubt and panic rush through his body. _Why would he love you? You can't even read and write!._ He begins to chop the apples. _I will have to show him I am worth keeping around,_ he thinks determinedly. _Ouch!_ he looks down and realises he has cut his finger and hastily grabs a towel and wraps it around the deep cut _Oh well just, another scar to add to the collection_ , he sighs.

Just then there is a knock on the door and Kili rushes to open it. _Perhaps Thorin has come back!_ he thinks, in excitement not wondering why his gentleman would knock and flings open the door. But instead of Thorin he finds himself looking into the blue eyes of Thranduil. “H-hello”. 

Thranduil looks over his shoulder and then back at Kili. "Hello Kili." Then it sinks in. "Kili! You're back!"

Kili nods, still feeling a little hurt by the man's betrayal. _He promised he wouldn’t tell Thorin about the watch, he’s a liar_ , he think bitterly.“Thorin is not here,” he says coolly. Then a jealous spark flares inside him. _He is here for Thorin! My Thorin!_ “He doesn't need you anymore!” he suddenly blurts out and goes to close the door.

But the American is quick to catch it before it clicks shut. "Excuse me?" Thranduil utters pushing the door back open. "What do you mean _he doesn't need me anymore_?"

“ Go away,“ Kili says. _If he sees you he might decide he loves you more!_ he panics. _He cannot see you, you need to leave!_ “I don't know when he will be back”.

"I'll wait, " Thranduil insist. He's not going to stand arguing on the doorstep and he needs to talk to Thorin. _Does he know yet?_ He brushes past the sleek teenager. "Do you know where he went?"

Kili shrugs. “He just said out.” He worries what to do now that Thranduil has entered the apartment uninvited. He can hardly threaten him or drag the tall gentleman outside by his coat and in the end he decides to just ignore him and walk back into the kitchen. _Maybe he will get bored when Thorin does not come back soon enough. Just leave! And never come back!_

But the American clearly has other ideas as he follows the brunet and leans against the doorpost to the kitchen. "So ehm, what happened?" he enquires, curious to hear what had happened to Thorin's little streetrat after he had been sent away by his father. "I went to get you, you know. Like I promised I would."

Kili can feel anger rise. “Well, I didn’t ask him to sell me! Next time I will make sure he tells you first!” he snaps only then realising what he had said.

Thranduil raises an eyebrow at the angry teen. "I am sorry Kili, you have to catch me up here. Who's _he_ and sold to where? When I saw your father on the night I was going to take you out of there he told me he had taken you to a behavioural correction institution …”

“He’s a liar!” Kili snaps, feeling rage at McTavish run through his body. “A sick and twisted man!”

 _Why, he certainly wasn’t a nice person_ , Thranduil could not argue with that. “Then what did happen?” he presses. “Where did you go?”

“It doesn't matter,” Kili says hurriedly. _Why the hell do you not think before you talk idiot!_ he scolds himself. “Let’s just say it’s a long story. I wont bore you with the details.”

Thranduil frowns at the youngster, sensing the undertone and he decides if Kili does not want to talk he'll accept that; Thorin will no doubt tell him. "When did you come back?"

“Thorin came to Ma Molly’s two days before we went back to Erebor Hall,” he replies. _Be polite, Thorin may be angry if he tells him you were rude. You want to make a good impression on your gentleman, don’t you?_ “Would you like a cup of tea?” he forces himself to ask more politely than he had been up to this point.

"Thank you," Thranduil nods. _Ma Molly's?_ Of course he knew that place as almost everyone in the scene did and he also knew Thorin was a customer of that particular establishment.  In fact he'd recommended it to Thranduil once, however the American’s distaste for prostitution meant he had never followed that up - prostitutes were hollow creatures, he had never understood how one could find pleasure from such a soulless encounter. But that was not the point here, the question was, how did Kili know about that place? Then the truth hits him like a slap in the face. _He sold me_ , the boy had said. _Mother of Jesus, the boy had been sold to a whorehouse?! No wonder he's become so angry at the world and everyone in it._ He looks at the youngster again, feeling his heart break. "I am sorry Kili," he says softly. "I am sorry I was too late. I did not know he had done that to you ..."

Kili pours the tea and hands a cup to Thranduil. “It’s not your fault,“ he says taking a sip from his own cup. “I’m back now and I'm fine.” _Well, most of the time,_ he thinks bitterly as he brushes past the American and walks back into the lounge. He looks towards the drink cabinet and walks over to it, suddenly needing something to numb the memories and  he looks for the bottle of absinthe, which he recognizes instantly. “Want one?” he asks Thranduil, who had followed him into the room, as he starts preparing himself one. 

Thranduil frowns at the young servant boy. “I don’t think you should be helping yourself to your master’s liquor, Kili,” he says sternly.

Kili shrugs. “Thorin won't mind” he says downing the green liquid then pouring another straight away. “You going to tell on me?” he says under his breath,

_Thorin? Since when did Kili call his master by his first name?_

Thranduil wants to say something else but bites his tongue. _The boy is damaged, he’s been through the most unimaginable abuse_ , he reminds himself. _He’s not your problem, let Thorin deal with him._ “Even so, it’s a little early still for that,” Thranduil shakes his head, feeling concerned about the damaged teen. “Don’t you think?” He takes a seat on the sofa with his tea keeping his eyes trained on Kili. “So you went to Erebor Hall with Thorin?” he asks, trying to change the subject to something that may cause Kili less anxiety and need to reach for the bottle.

Kili smiles thinking about Erebor.  “Yes, I did. It was nice to go home” he says downing  the green liquid. “ How was your Christmas?”

“Very nice, thank you,” Thranduil smiles, grateful that the venom has dropped out of Kili’s voice, which makes him feel a little more relaxed as well. “I think Christmas in Great Britain is very pleasant. It has a cosiness about it. Although you do not get half as much snow here as we do in the States.”

Kili pours himself another drink. “I would like to see that. I have never celebrated Christmas before this year,” he admits sitting close to the fire to keep himself warm and downing another glass; all the talk of before make him feel on edge and  he finds the green liquor soothing.

The American narrows his eyes as Thorin’s teenage assistant is helping himself rather generously to the strong alcohol. He gets up and walks over to the brunet. “I think you have had quite enough of that, Kili,” he says, taking the bottle of him and putting it back in the drinking cabinet. “So did you have a nice Christmas too?”

The brunet wants to argue that he has not had enough but decides better of it. He thinks of the Christmas Eve him and Thorin had spent together in the little hut and can feel his face blush. “It was great. Thank you, Mister” he says wishing the heat would die from his face.

“Good, good,” Thranduil nods as he begins fiddling with the little saucer, wishing for Thorin to hurry up as he’s run out of topics to talk about with the teenager. Just as he thinks he might leave and call back later they hear the front door open.

Kili breaths a sigh of relief and turns to the blond. “Excuse me a moment”  he says before practically running down the hallway. ”Thorin you’re back” he beams at his beloved and places a kiss to his lips.

Thorin smiles back at Kili, warming to the kiss. But when he looks up his eye falls on the coat stand and the stranger’s coat hanging there. He feels his heart drop and with a little panic in his voice, whispers, “Who is here?”

“Your American friend,”  Kili replies biting his lip, feeling that jealous sting rise up again. “He’s having tea in the lounge, was I okay to let him in?” he asks. _Not that he gave me much of a choice!_

“Yes,” Thorin sighs in relief that it is Thranduil. But almost immediately his anxiety about the unexpected visitor turns into a different nervousness. _I am going to have to tell him._ I _I will have to let him know about me and Kili and my promise._ “Thank you, Kili,” he brushes his hand across his cheek and strides into the lounge.

“Thorin!” Thranduil smiles happily and he gets to his feet and wraps his arms around his lover. “How have you been? I have missed you, darling,” he winks at the dark-haired Englishman.

Kili can feel his heart begin to quicken as he watches the American flirt with his beloved. _Leave him alone! “_ Would you like a cup of tea?” he asks Thorin through gritted teeth, watching the American place a kiss to his beloved’s cheek.

Thorin looks at his young lover and feels the daggers behind his dark eyes. “Yes please,” he smiles a little uncomfortably and moves himself out of Thranduil’s embrace, taking a seat on the sofa.

Kili pours the water from the boil into the cup along with the tea and walks over to his lover and hands it to him, he then moves to the little sofa and gives daggers to the blond.

“Thank you, Kili,” Thorin gives his his lover a smiles, but when he receives a scowl in return he lowers his gaze to his tea. “I have been good,” he responds to Thranduil’s earlier question. Through his lashes he watches Kili take a seat opposite them and he can feel Kili’s eyes burn into him. “And you, did you have a good Christmas?”

“I did, thank you,” Thranduil smiles. “So, did you read the paper this morning?” he asks, more seriously.

Thorin nods. “It puzzles me that such a big deal was made out of it. And worries me somewhat,” he admits. “It might just be an isolated incident of sensationalism, like with the Boulton and Park case. That all came to nothing in the end. Anyhow, I went to the Ten Bells to see if anyone knew any more yet.”

“And?” Thranduil asks, sipping his tea.

Suddenly Kili feels like an outsider as they discuss the newspaper article. He moves from his spot on the sofa and walks back into the kitchen give Thranduil a death glare as he walks past him. He picks  up the paper, scanning it to see if he can get any information from it, but he feels sad when he doesn't. He chucks the paper on the side  _why am I so stupid!_ he thinks and walks back into the living room returning to his seat and stares into the now roaring fire, trying not to look at the two gentlemen who are sat far too close to each other for his liking.

“Do you think they will prosecute?” Thranduil asks his friend.

“I don’t know. I don’t really know why they have suddenly made this big stand. It is not like something has changed. I will try and find out a little more tomorrow,” he says, looking at Thranduil. “We only returned to London this afternoon, have there been any other incidents? Any more arrests?”

Kili feels like they are purposefully being vague to shut him out and he can feel himself snaps. _Thorin did not talk to me about the article! Did he think I was too dumb? Does he not trust me?_ He jumps to his feet and hurriedly leaves the room, glaring at the blond as he passes him. He walks back to the apples and begins chopping them angrily. _If you want me to leave you alone, all you had to do was ask!_ he fumes and slices into his hand again, but bites his lip.

Thranduil shakes his head, “Not that I know of.” He watches Kili leave the room again and drops his voice. “Kili mentioned Madam Molly’s,” he says softly. “Is that where you found him?”

Thorin can feel his cheeks flare. “Yes,” he says, averting his gaze. _You must tell him!_ he reminds himself, but cannot seem to find the right words. _What do I say? I found him in a whorehouse and made him my lover? He’s a servant! What will Thranduil think of me?_ “I just wanted to make sure you are alright,” he says. “And that no suspicion had fallen on you yet.”

Thranduil takes Thorin’s hand. “I am fine, darling. I guess we'll just have to be a bit more careful. Am I still okay to meet you here?”

Kili listens intently just out of eyesight to the conversation in the room and feels rage rush through his body, his blood boiling as he hears the American utters the question. He puts his hand on the door handle, then hesitates. _No. Give Thorin a chance to explain, to keep his promise. They are friends after all._

Thorin can feel himself break out into a sweat, unsure how to break the news to his American lover that he has committed himself to a servant and finds himself backing out. “I ehm … Yes. You can still visit me here,” he says quietly. _I will tell him when he makes a pass. He can still come here as a friend, we are still friends._

Thranduil looks at the Englishman. He has known Thorin for long enough to know when he is not telling him something. “But?” he enquires.

“But what?” Thorin gulps, twisting the ring around his finger.

“You liar!" Kili growls, storming into the room. He can feel angry tears run down his face. "You promised me!"

Thorin looks up at Kili in shock. “Excuse me? W-what? …” he stutters, momentarily lost for words at the outrageous comment.

Thranduil looks between the two men, confused and shocked by the way Kili has spoken to his master. “What’s going on?” he asks with forced calmness.

"You are a coward! You promised me you would tell him!" Kili can feel hurt wash over him.

Thorin feels his anger flare at the way Kili is talking to him in front of his friend, reeling both at the embarrassed and the feeling of being cornered. “Kili!” he shouts, rising to his feet. “How dare you! Remember your place!”

Thranduil stares at the two men, initially in shock, but now with a sense of amusement as it is beginning to dawn on him what is getting the youngster fired up. _Thorin, you naughty pédéraste_ , he smirks, watching his lover battle with the youngster.

"He was right, McTavish, was right. I really am just a whore to you!" Kili growls, rushing  out to the hall and grabbing his coat.

“KILI!” Thorin bellows, rushing after his lover. “Damn it, Kili, get back here!” He grabs the youngster’s arm stopping him from running off. “How dare you!” he  brings his face right up to Kili’s as he pins the youngster against the wall. “I gave you my everything! You have no idea how I put my neck on the line for you!”

"You promised me you would never hurt me, remember. Just after you made love to me and told me you would marry me if you could," Kili shouts and shrugs  himself free. "Well I know now how little I mean to you,"  he snarls opening the door. “ I was just a bit of fun to you when your friend was not about”.

Thorin slams the door shut with force before Kili has a chance to escape, missing his head by a mere inch as his hand hits the door. “Why?!” he shouts, genuinely gobsmacked by Kili’s outburst. “What the hell have I done to deserve this after everything I have done for you?! You ungrateful brat!”

Fear washes over Kili and he backs away from his lover. He looks at his love’s face and can see the rage in it. “You...you promised,” he stutters backing himself against the wall as far away from Thorin as he can get in the small hallway.

Thranduil, who has followed the two men into the hall, puts his hand on Thorin’s arm, trying to calm the situation as he watches the boy cower. “Thorin, calm. You …”

But Thorin shrugs him off. “I _did_ promise!” he bellows. “And would have told him! In my own time! You do not tell me what to do or when to do it, KilI!”

Thranduil draws back his hand and looks at his lover. “You both need to calm down,” he says again. “You are making a scene and soon the whole neighbourhood will be on your doorstep wondering what is going on. I think we can all agree that right now is not the best time for such a scandal.”

Thorin lowers his voice a little but otherwise ignores his American lover as his head is filled with outrage at the way Kili has made him look like a fool. “Perhaps I made a mistake with you,” he snarls in his rage. “Perhaps I should never have allowed a servant boy to lead me into temptation.”

Kili can feel his heart break and a sob leave his lips. “ You told me you loved me,” he says quietly feeling fresh tears leak down his face. “You lied to me!”.

“No, I …!” Thorin suddenly comes back to his senses, realising what he had shouted in his anger and feels a deep regret settle inside his stomach as he looks at the hurt painted in Kili’s face. “Kili, I am sorry, I should not have …”

“I gave myself to you! after everything I allowed myself to be open with you, to give my body to you! I...I was a fool,” he looks at the door again wondering if he can make a quick escape. “Guess it’s just me against the world,” he sobs and reaches for the door handle before Thorin can stop him this time and runs off into the night.

“Kili!” Thorin calls after him. When he looks back he finds Thranduil staring at him and he feels his face burn. "That … I ..."

"You bedded him then?" Thranduil asks plainly, crossing his arms. When Thorin doesn't immediately answer he smirks. "Come now, Thorin, we both knew it was only a matter of time. Well, you certainly had a nice Christmas then."

"Yes," Thorin answers awkwardly, averting his gaze as he searches for Kili in the darkness.

"And you were supposed to tell me what?"

"That Kili wants us to be exclusive,” he whispers, closing the door behind the youngster as Kili is clearly not coming back and he sinks against the door, feeling numb.

"I see," Thranduil nods. Kili's earlier comments to him, telling him to go away, certainly make more sense now. "And that's what you want too?"

Thorin holds Thranduil's gaze. "I want to make him happy."

"Just tell me this, Thorin. All those things Kili was saying.. . is he just a silly love struck teenager who has mistaken intercourse for something more?"

"No," Thorin answers honestly. "I love him. I am in love with him.”

Thranduil shakes his head. “Why, you are a stupid fool if I ever knew one. Why are you still standing here? Swallow that damn pride of yours and run after him! I will stay here in case he returns.”

 


	46. Streetrat

Kili can hear his lover’s cries in the distance but carries on running. _Bastard! Screw him and his rich upper class society._ He can feel tears run down his face. He runs street after street with no idea where he is going.

 _Did I overreact?_ he suddenly thinks and halts. 

He walks over to a wall and sits down, burying his face in his hands. _What do I do now? I know no one! I have no one who cares where I am._

After a couple of minutes he looks around and takes in his surroundings. There is a little pub opposite and wonders about going in out of the cold. _You have no money, you fool._ He begins to shiver and wraps his coat around him, He looks to the right and sees a little store.  _I am hungry and I need a drink,_ he thinks and slowly walks into the shop. “Good evening,” he says smiling.

“Good evening, mister,” the man behind the counter nods to the well-dressed young man. “It’s a chilly one out tonight.”

“It is very. Would you happen to sell scarfs?” he asks, trying to get the man to turn his back as he spots a bottle of brandy. _Not absinthe, but it will do_ he thinks then spots a loaf bread.

“Sure, mister,” the shopkeeper nods. “A fine silk for you sir, or perhaps wool?”

“Wool please” he replies nearing his desired items. He manages to slip the loaf behind his back as the man briefly looks away. _Turn around, just turn around._

“Oh, I have a nice selection for you, sir,” the man smiles and turns towards one of the shelves at the back of the shop. “I think wool is a good choice for this time of year. Did you have a good Christmas, mister?” he asks as he pulls out a few different scarves.

“Yes, thank you, it was lovely,” Kili replies, grabbing the bottle and shoving it into his coat along with the bread. He slowly moves to the door whilst the shopkeeper is still talking and hastily leaves the shop. He runs down the road and flees into a deserted alleyway where opens the bottle and takes a drink. The high alcohol percentage immediately spreads a welcome warmth through his chest and he relaxes a little in the shadow of the alley.

Kili can feel his heart beat quicken as he watches the beat run past the alleyway where he lays hidden. _Damn what am I going to do?_ he panics and runs his hand through his hair. _I need to get out of here. But whereto? Where can I go!_ His thoughts fall on Thorin,but he instantly dismisses it, taking another gulp of the warm substance. _Even after everything I cannot bring this down on him._

He slowly makes his way towards the start of the alleyway. He looks around and when he finds the coast clear he runs as fast he he can the opposite way to which the police went. _They cannot catch me!_ it races through his head at his feet pound the streets. The warnings from Thorin and Thranduil churn in his head. _They will hang you for stealing a loaf of bread in the city …_

He rounds a corner and slams straight into a tall gentleman. As he tumbles to the pavement, mumbling an apology there is a fraction of a moment of relief as he thinks it is Thorin who has come to look for him after all. But as the man raises his head from here he had bent down to pick up his hat and brushes off the snow with a scowl to the brunet, he feels his heart sink. “Watch yourself!” the stranger snarls at him, leaving him lying on the ground as he hastily steps past him.

And fear grips him as he realises that this time no one might come for him. No one might come and save him like the last time. _I have truly blown it this time,_ he realises as he scrambles to his feet knowing he has to keep moving as he hears a police whistle in the distance.

 _Why didn’t you just keep your mouth shut?_ it races through his head. _So what if Thorin still wants to see his lover? Who do you think you are demanding that he is exclusive to you? You are nothing, you always will be nothing! Whether you are one gentleman’s whore or another’s what does it even matter?_

He races into one of the many parks in the area and crawls up onto a bench, bringing his knees up against his chest as he rocks in his pain. _No,_ he shakes his head, feeling warm tears run down his cold cheeks. _I would rather die than watch the one person I love betray me. I cannot bear that. He promised me and he lied!_ And then an evil little voice stirs from deep inside his darkest being. _Because when he saw his American lover he realised that you will never be that. You will always just be a servant. He knows he has made a mistake with you. You did right to run away, you will only bring shame and embarrassment to him._

+++

When Thorin returns to the apartment his coat is soaking wet and his feet are freezing from the slushy snow. But he barely feels the physical cold under the weight of his heartache.

“Is he here?!” he asks as soon as he steps through the door, grabbing hold of Thranduil’s pullover in his desperation for news.

Thranduil shakes his head as he helps his friend out of his snow covered coat. “You didn’t find him?” he asks, feeling his own stomach sink. _That cannot be good, a teenager lost on the snowy streets of London,_ he thinks, but he does not want to stir Thorin’s anxiety even more by expressing his fears.

“I have looked everywhere,” Thorin sighs as he walks into the lounge and heads for the liquor cabinet, pouring himself and his American friend a double brandy. “Well, everywhere I could think of. How in hell’s name am I supposed to find a runaway in London in the middle of the night?” He shakes his head. “Stupid child,” he mutters to himself as he downs half his glass. But internally he is in turmoil. _I will never forgive myself if something were to happen to him!_

“Is there anywhere in London he knows? Anywhere he would think to go to?” the American waves away the glass.

Thorin considers the question. “Cleveland Street,” he says eventually. _No, Kili would never go back there,_ he shakes his head. _But then again the only person in London he had ever considered a friend lives there - Bilbo._ “We must go there!” he says to Thranduil, already making to leave again, but his friend stops him.

“Thorin, you just need to calm down a moment. You are frozen to the bone. And it is only a guess. Just sit down and get a drink down you. I will go home via Cleveland Street. If I find him there I will bring him back to you.” _And if he is not perhaps it is time you accepted that you cannot tame that wild child_ , he adds in his head, worried for his lover’s mental well-being and his safety in the way he is risking everything for this reckless youth.

Thorin nods and finishes his drink, quickly topping up his glass with another. “I know shouldn’t have said what I did,” he moans softly. “But Kili was rude to you. To me. I hurt him though. I didn’t mean to hurt him, Thranduil. I love him!” he utters, his teeth chattering.

Thranduil smirks at the Englishman’s ramblings as he lets the liquor warm his insides. “I know you do,” he smiles as he sits down next to him. “You are a crazy fool for it, but then none of us choose where Cupid shoots his arrows.”

Thorin rests his head on the American’s shoulder, finding comfort with his friend as he always had. “He’s so cute,” he slurs. “Oh so sweet death he gives me,” he grins.

“Alright, Thorin,” Thranduil coughs. “Remember the first rule, a gentleman never tells,” Thranduil reminds his ex-lover.

“You’re right,” Thorin sighs as he takes another sip, feeling the brandy burn inside his chest as he remembers they have not had anything for tea yet. He turns his head to look at his friend, drowning in his clear blue eyes and smiles at him. “You are cute too.”

Thranduil raises an eyebrow at the Englishman. “Thanks ... Thorin. I think you have had enough now,” he points to the bottle. “Why don’t you go to bed and I will make my way home and see if I can find your streetrat for you?”

“Hmm,” Thorin moans against his shoulder and then wraps his arms around the American, seeking his lips. “Keep me warm,” he whispers against his lips.

Thranduil swallows hard as he gently pushes Thorin back and quickly gets to his feet. “No, Thorin. You made Kili a promise. If you want to get laid to forget your sorrows then find yourself a bunter. I am not going to be your regret in the morning. I think I had best go now.”

Thorin pouts at him as he flops down against the pillows on the sofa. “Yes. Find me my streetrat,” he slurs as he finds his eyelids droop.

“I will try,” Thranduil sighs, wondering why he is getting himself involved in the mess these two seem to keep finding themselves in. But he knows it is because he cares about the both of them. Far more than he should.

++++

Kili stumbles down the familiar street, He eyes a few people on the street with blankets huddled around  their shoulders “ Any spare change sir?” and elderly women asks holding out a tin.

Kili pulls out one of the wallets he had stolen earlier and pours the coins into the tin “ g...get your self out of the cold” he slurs and makes his way further down the road, tears prick his eyes as he remembers the night Thorin had brought him here for Fish & Chips and he wipes his face with the back of his hand _Curse love, there is no such thing as love!_

The brunet spots the familiar looking building and puts his hand on the handle then hesitates _Ma Molly will just kick me straight out again!_ he realises and panics retreating back from the door “ Bilbo” he shouts into the night and when he has no response he scans the pavement for something to throw and they land on a small stone, which he takes in hand scanning the windows and chucks at the window he remembers as Bilbo’s.

Bilbo lets out a high pitched squeal as he jumps out of his skin. He was just wiping himself clean as what he hoped was his last client of the evening had left, leaving him a nice tip. He scrambles up onto the bed, yanks open the thick curtains and looks out of the window, blinking against the streetlight that is right opposite his room, keeping him awake at night.

Then it hits him and he raises himself up on his knees, pressing his nose closer against the glass, his breath causing it to steam up. “Kee?” he says softly, to himself. He waves his hand unsurely, keeping his eyes trained on the person outside.

“ B...Bilbo” Kili slurs looking up at the window “ I have come back” he says smiling and stumbles on the floor “ Can I live with you?.... I find myself with no home”.

“What?” Bilbo mouths up against the window, unable to make out Kili’s words. “Oh damn!” He pulls the curtains to again and hurries to put on his shirt, some trousers and shoes. Carefully he opens his door and checks the landing, but finds it empty. _How the hell am I going to get past Ma Molly?_ he frets, but then decides to sneak out through the back, down what would have been the servants stairs before this house was turned into a brothel it was now.

He cringes as the door lock creaks and for a moment he expects someone to come running after him. But when all remains quiet he chances it. He darts across the small back yard and squeezes himself through the gap at the bottom of the fence.

Kili begins to panic when his friend doesn't appear _have I done the right thing coming back here?_ he asks himself then immediately feels himself begin to sob. _Oh course you have, you are nothing but a worthless whore!._

Bilbo rounds the corner, his worn shoes slipping on the icy cobbles. “Kili!” he calls out. “It is you!” He almost slams into his friend as he comes to a sliding halt.

“ H...hello I am back” he slurs clinging onto his friend to steady himself “ Missssed you”. he pulls the blond into a tight embrace.

Bilbo takes a step back as the alcohol on Kili’s breath hits him. “Missed you too.” He cocks his head at Kili, taking in his appearance. “Why are you back?”

“ Be….because Thorin does not love me” he feels a tear run down his face “ And I don’t have anywhere else to go,” he wipes his face with the back of his hand and then takes a gulp out of his second bottle of alcohol. “ Want some?” he asks offering the blond the bottle.

Bilbo looks at the bottle, hesitating for only a moment, then shrugs. “Yeah sure.” He grabs Kili by the elbow and steers him a little away from the entrance to Ma Molly’s, towards a set of steps a little further down the street, partially hidden in the shadows. “Sorry,” he says, as he takes a sip and hands the bottle back to Kili. “About your gentleman,” he clarifies.

Kili takes another deep swig and feels a lump in his throat. “I thought he loved me,” he sobs as his emotions wash over him. “He said that he loved me, but I mean nothing to him,” he buries his face into his hands, trying to get control over himself “ I was a fool.”

“So what will you do now?” Bilbo asks softly. “Go back to work for Ma?”

“ I guess so” Kili says quietly feeling pain wash through him, he can feel a stab at his heart at the man he loves harsh words echoing in his mind “ Will she have me back do you think?”.

“Probably,” Bilbo shrugs. “You are cute, the clients liked you. You will earn her good money. You have a debt to pay off first though.” He forces a smile onto his face, “Hey it will good to have you back. We all missed you!”

Kili gulps _I will be taking a prodding !_ he thinks with dread at how many clients it will take to make it up to her  and nods “ I don’t really have any other choice do I?” he says quietly leaning his head on his friends shoulder. 

++++

Thranduil wraps his coat tighter around him against the cold winter breeze and pulls the brim of his tophat down to shelter his eyes against the whipping snow. _Why is the snow in England so wet and horrible?_ he grumbles as he shuffles through the slushy wetness. _And why am I looking for some disobedient servant boy for whom my lover has just dumped me instead of being sat at home in front of a nice warm fire, being attended to by my own servants? How do I even have a remote chance to find Kili in this enormous city anyway?!_

He looks at the black fascia of the brothel. He had not found any trace of the teenager and if Kili wasn't here then he really was running out of hope of finding the youngster alive.

Just as he puts his foot on the bottom step he hears a familiar voice behind him. He swirls round and blinks against the darkness of the street. _Maybe I'm imagining things,_ he thinks but just then he can make out two shapes sat huddled across the street. _Kili!_

Kili takes a large swig of the bottle “ I am never going to love again, hurts too much” he slurs clutching onto his friends arm “ I gave everything to him… I loved him”.

"And he loves you, you stupid young man. What on earth do you  think you're doing?"

Kili jumps and stumbles at the American accent and looks up finding himself staring into the shiny blue eyes of Thorin’s American friend. “Mister Bo .. Mister Bov ... ” he slurs grinning. “You,” he settles for in the end, scrambling onto his feet and leaning against Thorin’s friend, breathing into his face. “Does Thowin not love you anymore? Don’t worry, I’ll show you a good time,” he says thickly, hiccuping.

Thranduil takes a bewildered step back. _Well, aren’t I lucky tonight,_ he smirks to himself. _I get all the drunk and broken-hearted lovers throwing themselves at me!_ “I think we had best head back to Thorin now, so you can sleep off your booze” he says, keeping Kili at a distance.

“No! You go back to Thorin,” Kili snarls, stepping back and grabbing onto Bilbo’s arm as he stumbles. “Go away.”

“Kili, I haven’t got time for this. Let’s get you home,” Thranduil sighs as he grabs the youngster by the arm. He eyes the states he is in with disapproval.

“Haven’t got a home,” he replies, then turns to Bilbo. “Lets get in the warm,” he says shivering and takes a few uneasy steps forward, he puts a hand in his pocket and feels a jewel, his heart gives a painful thud when he remembers the ring. “Give this back to Tho...Thorin” he says handing Thranduil  the blue jeweled  ring.

Thranduil stares at the expensive jewel. “Where did you get that?” he snarls at the youngster, grabbing his arm harder. “Did you steal this from Thorin?”

“No!” he says, outraged “ It was my Christmas present. He said he loved me and wanted me to have it to remind me of that always, but he lied!” he says feeling tears fill his eyes again. “Need another drink,” he mumbles and reaches for his bottle. “Someone’s drunk all my brandy”.

Thranduil stares at the blue ring which Kili has pushed into the palm of his hand. _Thorin gave him this?! This is worth a small fortune! A ring fit for a prince!_ He looks back at the drunk teenager and narrows his eyes. “Kili, stop your whining!” he says harshly, slapping him across the face with his glove. “I have Thorin pining for you to come back home. He has been looking for you for hours.”

“No! He said I was a mistake. That’s why I'm going to Ma Molly’s, so I can be other gentlemen’s mistakes.” He bends down and picks up two wallets that he had stolen. “Tell him I said goodbye.” 

Bilbo stares from Kili to the stranger, wide-eyed. He has no idea what is going on, other than that the tall blond gentleman appears to know Kili and his gentleman.

Thranduil rolls his eyes. “Stop being an ungrateful little brat, Kili!” he snarls, bringing his face close to the youngster’s. “Do you have any idea how much this costs?!” he shoves the ring back into Kili’s face. “Do you think Thorin would buy you this if he just saw you as his whore?! He was angry, because you spoke out of turn. He is sorry for what he said, as should you be. Do you have any idea how privileged you are, Kili?” he says angrily, then turns to the blond boy. “Are you his friend?” he asks, letting Kili slump back onto the steps.

Bilbo nods nervously, feeling the gentleman’s icy stare bore into him.

“Do you work at Madam Molly’s?”

“Yes sir,” Bilbo answers softly. _Is he going to purchase me?_ he cannot help but wonder, eyeing the potential client.

Thranduil pulls his purse out of his coat pocket and takes out a pound coin, pressing it into the blond boy’s fist. “You try and talk sense into Kili. He has someone waiting for him who thinks the world of him, who showers him in unimaginable riches and will give him everything his heart desires. You help him decide to choose that or Ma Molly’s. I have had enough of chasing after teenagers around London. I am going home.” He gives Kili one last glance before he turns his back and begins to walk off.

Kili looks to his friend once the American is out of sight. “Come lets go in before we freeze to death,” he says, feeling miserable. “I will even do the cleaning as the new boy again” he says getting to his feet.

Bilbo stares after his friend in shock. “Are you stupid?” he asks softly, glancing at the back of the American.

“ No Thorin doesn't want me told me so” he says then falls back to the steps “ lets go see the others” he slurs “ ooooooh they may have absinthe I like fairy green”.

“Kili, damn it!” Bilbo grabs his coat, pulling him back towards him. He stares at the coin in his hand. He would have to work for over a year to earn himself that much money. “What is the matter with you? You cannot be serious!”

“ About what?” Kili asks a little confused “ You did not hear him Bilbo, He chucked everything back in my face, I loved him, Love him but he sees me as whore, if he wants to use me he can come here”.

Bilbo smirks. “So what? Course he wants to bugger you, all men do. But would you really rather get stuffed by three, four random cocks a night in a filthy place like this over having your own gentleman who buys you expensive clothes …” he looks at Kili’s warm looking coat and proper shoes, “... and jewelery that I would not even dream of in a milion years?” He gets to his feet and shakes his head. “You are more stupid than I thought you were.”

“ Do...don’t call me stupid, you are supposed to be my friend” he slurs getting up and falling forward down the stairs “ I don’t want lots of expensive gifts. I want him to love me and me alone” he growls and begins to unbutton the coat. “Here have it,” he snaps.

Bilbo grabs the coat without hesitation. “I am not too proud to accept something like that,” he snaps at Kili. “I am your friend and as a friend I am telling you to run away as far from here as possible. That man,” he points after Thranduil who is just about still visible in the light of the streetlamps, “said that your gentleman loves you. I don’t know him that well, but he was always kind to me. I think he is a good man as far as they go, Kili, and I think you are a stupid ass for running away from someone like that.”

Kili looks his friend in the eyes and bites his lip unsure “ But...but what If I get back and he’s angry and decides I am not worth it?” he asks clutching his friends arm and begins to shiver “ It’s cold”.

“Yeah ‘tis,” Bilbo smirks and he wraps the expensive coat around him. “And I am keeping this,” he sticks out his tongue. “You can ask your gentleman for another. Now run after that man before he is gone. You are always welcome back here, Kee. But I would beg on my bare knees to get back if I were you.” He wraps his arm around Kili and pats him across the back. “Take care of yourself.”

“I will come and see you soon and I promise.. I will buy you fish and chips,” he says, wrapping his arms around his friend. “Mister…. Mister!” he shouts after the American. “Oy,  mister!”

Thranduil stops without turning around, a smug grin playing around his lips as he waits for Kili to catch up with him.

“Mister ...”  Kili pants, stumbling along the cobbles “ Please mister….I don’t know my way back. Can...can you help me?” he asks nervously.

Thranduil slowly turns around and frowns at the shivering teenager. “And why would I do that? You told me to go away. You told me you had no home and to say goodbye to Thorin.”

“ Please mister… I am sorry sir….. please take me back to Thorin” he begs clutching on to The american’s arm “ I love him even if he doesn't me”.

Thranduil lowers his face closer to the youngster. “Do you even know what love is?” he smirks. “Do you not think that Thorin willing to risk everything for you, his job, his reputation, even his freedom, counts as love? Hm?”

Kili can feel himself flush red unsure what to say and looks at his feet “ I do know what love is sir!” he argues looking into the blond’s eyes “ I love Thorin and would risk everything for him too! He means everything to me” he states “ If you wont help me sir, I will find my own way” he says stumbling down the road back the way he had come. He can see his breath in front of his face and begins to shiver.

“Oh stop being so melodramatic,” Thranduil snaps, grabbing the youngster by the scruff of his neck. “You will freeze to death before you have made it more than two blocks. Besides, you are going the wrong way. Now, stop your whining and let’s get a coach back. I am cold to the bone because of you.”

Kili nods and turns around wrapping his arms around his body “ Are you sure he wants me back?” he asks nervously. “I'm going to call you Thranduil from now on, I can’t say your surname and I don't like calling you mister,” he says suddenly closing his eyes  feeling very tired. “ I'm cold” he says and begins to sway.

“Alright, you can call me Thranduil,” the American smirks as he holds a carriage and pushes Kili inside. “And yes, Thorin wants you back. He is crazy about you.” He pulls the jeweled ring out of his pocket and hands it back to Kili. “You do know that this is a wedding ring, don’t you?”

 Kili stares at the blonde wide-eyed “ No… is it? Really? He did say he would marry me if he could,” he admits leaning his head on the blond man and looking at the ring. “It is beautiful”.

“It is,” Thranduil smiles. “And I am sure he would if he could. Marry you that is.” As Kili cuddles up against him, trying to find some warmth as his teeth are chattering, Thranduil feels a tingle run down his spine and into his crotch. He takes a deep breath, trying to push the thought from his mind and clears his throat. “So you ran away because I came to see Thorin?” he asks casually.

“I was scared he would realise that he loves you. And that he can do better than a servant who can’t read or write, and is good for only one thing,” he answers feeling to tired to even bother lying and leans his head into the blond’s shoulder.

“Why, isn’t that just ironic,” Thranduil smirks, feeling his heartbeat speed up a little at having the youngster so close against him. It confuses him. He had never felt such desire for one so young before, but despite Kili acting like a child tonight he really was mature for his age. And in a way he reminded him of Thorin. “Thorin does not love me, nor do I love him. Not like that. We are friends.”

Kili looks up into Thranduil’s amused face. “Really? You really don’t love him?” he can feel a smile spread across his face “  I don’t want to lose him he is everything to me, Mister Thranduil”.

“Not like you love him,” Thranduil sooths, putting an arm around Kili to try and warm him up. “I am married, I have a family who I care for dearly. Thorin just offers me something I cannot get at home.” He smirks at the teenager. “Guess really we only see each other for one thing,” he winks.

.Kili can feel his cheeks flush bright red at Thranduil’s words and buries his face into Thranduil's coat “ Would you really have left me there?” he mumbles closing his eyes.

“Would you really have gone back there?” Thranduil counters. “Do you care so little about Thorin?”

Kili thinks about this for a second then shakes his head “ No, I would have probably woken up tomorrow and come running back” he admits laughing “ I don’t think I can live without my Thorin”.

“Good, then stop playing silly,” Thranduil says sternly. “Because this is the last time I have gone running after you. Next time Thorin can sort you out himself. Especially since I am not exactly doing myself any favours by returning you to Thorin. Kind of doing myself out of a job here, aren’t I?”

“Yes, I guess” Kili nods. “I’m going to go to sleep” he utters putting his head on the blondes shoulder “ Goodnight Mister Thranduil” he whispers and allows sleep to creep over him. “Night, Thorin my love” he says and begins to snore in to Thranduil's coat.

Thranduil smiles as the youngster falls asleep in his arms. _I must be a fool_ , he thinks when the carriage stops in front of the gates to Gray’s Inn and he carries the youngster in his arms. He nods to the night guard who knows him by now - and whom he always tips generously - and carried his precious load to the front door of Thorin’s apartment. As he awkwardly juggles the sleeping youngster to try and twist the doorknob, he notices something drop out of the youngster’s pockets and into the wet snow. He looks at the items,but cannot quite make them out and decides to get Kili inside first before coming back to whatever Kili had dropped.

“Thorin! Wake up, I have a delivery for you,” he calls out when he has managed to carry Kili into the small apartment.

“Wha…? Who’s there?!” Thorin mumbles into the pillows. He wants to turn over and look to see what the intrusion is all about, but immediately decides that his head is spinning far too much for such effort and stays as he is. “Just leave’t in the hall,” he slurs sleepily. “I’ll look at it tomorrow.”

“I think you will want to look at this right now,” Thranduil smirks as he pushes the bedroom door open and deposits Kili onto the bed next to Thorin. “I am delivering your streetrat back to you as promised.”

Kili stirs at the sudden bump and looks around the room a little dazed. His eyes lock with the grey eyes of his beloved. “ Hello,” he mumbles, cuddling up to his partner and placing a sloppy kiss on his lips. “Do you still love me?” he asks.

Thorin blinks hard, confused by what’s going on. But then he smiles. “Kili. My Kili!” He wraps he youngster into his arms. “Oh my sweet Kili, I have always loved you.” And he presses soft kisses on his hair. “Never ever leave me, ” he sighs, closing his eyes again as the brunet falls asleep in his embrace.

Thranduil looks at the picture before him and cannot help but smiles softly at them. “I will be going then. I will catch up with you tomorrow, Thorin.”

When he gets no response he sighs and walks back towards the front door, remembering the items that had dropped in the snow. He bends down to pick up the two items and studies them in confusion. _Wallets. Gentlemen’s wallets._ Then it dawns on him and he gets to his feet, ready to storm back in and give the youngster what for. But he hesitates, twisting the cold wallets between his long fingers. _Why, I honoured my word,_ he thinks as he quietly sneaks back to his now ex-lover’s bedroom and puts the wallets on the dresser. _I brought you back your streetrat. Now it is up to you to turn him into your little gentleman. I wish you all the luck with that._ And with that he softly closes the front door behind him and makes his way back towards his own home and his own problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet death - slang for orgasm  
> Bunter - street prostitute (beggar who will have sex for money)


	47. Questions

“No please don't….I’ll do better stop” Kili cries tossing in his sleep, tears stream down his face “ Not the whip….. please God anything but that.”

Thorin jolts awake at the sudden cry. For a moment he is confused where he is or what is going on, but then he remembers they are back in London. “Kili?” he worries when he finds his young lover sobbing in his sleep beside him. “Kili, my love, it’s a dream,” he tries to gently shake the youngster awake.

Kili sits up bolt right covered in sweat. “ Thorin!” he screams out and clutches onto his lover’s arm tightly as if he will disappear if he loosens his grip “ Don't let him hurt me please”.

Thorin does not have to guess which evil bastard has Kili is such a state. “Kili! Kili, he’s not here,” he cradles his lover’s head against his chest. “Hush, my love, it is okay. He’s not here,” he gently rocks the youngster. “Only me. I am here. I will never let anyone hurt you again.”

Kili sobs into his lover then feels the mattress; he is confused when he feels wet sheets _What the hell!_ Then suddenly horror creeps up inside of him. He lets go of his lover and is out of th bed in a shot, fleeing the room. _No, no,no!_ he thinks and rushes into the living room.

“Kili!” Thorin panics as Kili flees from his arms once more and the memory of the previous night’s happenings comes flooding back to him.. He pushes himself upright, feeling the wetness on the mattress as he places his hand flat. He frowns, then realises what has happened. “Oh Kili,” he whispers and quickly rushes out of bed, concluding he is still wearing his clothes from the night before.

“Kili,” he says softly as he finds his lover curled up in a ball in front of the fireplace. “It’s okay.” He walks up to him and kneels down beside him, stroking his hair and back.

“ How can it be okay?” Kili sobs pulling away “ I'm sixteen years old! I haven’t done that since I was six” _He’s going to decide he doesn't love me!_ “ What is wrong with me?” he utters quietly, bring his hands up to his face and covering his eyes, flushing red with embarrassment.

“Kili, my love, you are traumatised,” Thorin wraps his arms around the young man. “You should not be ashamed, the man who did this to you should be. Now come, let’s get you out of these wet clothes or you’ll catch your death.

 “ No, you should not have to deal with my dirtiness, I don't deserve you “ the brunet  cries, trying to pull away from his lover who currently is holding him in a tight embrace. “I am getting you all smelly,” he says, trying to pull away again.

“These clothes need washing anyway,” Thorin shakes his head, not letting his beloved go again. “Please Kili, you promised no more running away. Let me take care of you.”

“Why does he keep affecting me so? everytime I think I can relax something else happens!” Kili sniffles and wipes his eyes. “Why did he do this to me?” he asks quietly, putting his hands around his knees, and pulling them close to his chest, trying to make himself as small as possible.

“Because he is an evil man who will have to repent for everything he did to you one day,” Thorin says softly, cradling his beloved. “I had a horrible dream last night,” he whispers into his hair. “You thought I did not love you and ran away from me into the cold night.”

“ I'm so so sorry I ran away” Kili apologises wrapping his arms around Thorin, Feeling himself calm a little “I should not have done it”.

“And I am sorry I said what I said,” Thorin forces Kili to look at him. “It was mean and heartless but only said in anger and without truth in it. You are my beautiful prince, my love, and I want you at my side always.” And he presses a gentle kiss against Kili’s lips then forces the brunet to look at him. “I love you Kili, with all my heart. More than anything in the world.”

Kili looks deep into his beloved’s shining blue eyes seeing truth in them, he takes Thorin’s large hand in his and rubs the  back of his hand with his thumb. “ And I love you, you are everything to me,” he says softly, feeling a rush of love run over him. “You are my world.”he moves his hand  brushing it  against Thorin’s face. “ I’m lucky Thranduil found me, I was on my way to Ma Molly’s,” he admits looking at the ground, then begins to shiver “ You are right, I need to get out of these” he says looking down at his clothing.

Thorin cocks his head at Kili. _Thranduil?_ He remembers that his American lover was here, after all that is what the whole thing had blown up over - Kili flying into a jealous rage and him responding rather untactfully to it. But he cannot remember what had happened after he unsuccessfully went looking for Kili. He came home, poured himself a brandy and … He can feel himself flush as he remembers something he had said to Thranduil before the tall blond must have gone after Kili. And he quickly gets to his feet. “Come, I’ll boil some water and fill up the tub. I’ll also have to have a look at your stitches,” he says quietly as he helps his love to his feet.

Kili allows his lover to help him get undressed. A flutter of embarrassment creeps over him when they walk back into the bedroom and past the bed. “I'm sorry I made your bed wet,” he says quietly, looking at the floor.

“It is fine, we’ll clean it,” Thorin sooths, steering Kili towards the tub as he stokes up the fire in the room. “As long as you are alright, my sweet one.” He looks at the shivering youngster and begins to examine his back. “It sure looks so much better now,” he concludes. “Frerin said the stitches could be removed next week if the wounds had healed well. How does it feel now?”

Kili moves his back. “It feels okay, hardly ever twinges any more. “ He reaches for a blanket that was on the bed and remembers it will be wet and drops it again. “ I'm so cold, have we got anything I can wrap around myself?”

Thorin pulls his chamber coat from the hook behind the door and puts it around Kili’s shoulders, rubbing his hands up and down the top of his arms. “Were you really going to go back to Madam Molly’s?” he asks with concern.

Kili hesitates unsure if to tell the truth or not, he eventually nods “ Yes...No. I don’t really know, but that’s where Thranduil found me outside talking to Bilbo” He shrugs “ If Ma Molly would take me back I guess”.

“You are a silly boy,” Thorin frowns at his lover. “Why would you do that? Even if something I did or said upset you, would going back to that really be better than living with me?” he asks, not angrily this time, more hurt and worried that he had got it so wrong.

“ No but going back there would be better than freezing in the streets” Kili says quietly finding himself unable to look at his lover “ And besides I was hurt and upset that is the only place I have friends.”

Thorin had wanted to argue back that running away was not a solution. That Kili should learn to deal with disagreements and arguments in a more grown up way, that they should have talked about it once they had both calmed down. But Kili’s last statement knocks the wind out of his lungs and he looks at his lover again, this time seeing a frightened and shivering teenager who has just wet the bed because he had nightmares. And he finds his heart break for him. “Oh Kili, I am so sorry for everything,” he frowns and brushing his hand across Kili’s cold cheeks and pressing a kiss on his forehead. “Just sit by the fire a moment while I boil the water,” he says kindly and walks to the kitchen to fill up large kettle which he hangs above the stove.

He stares into the fire for a while, thinking about everything that had happened and suddenly he wonders if this will even work between them long term. He thinks back to what his brother had said. Other than his physical desire for Kili, did he truly see him as an equal in their relationship? And equally could Kili ever think of him as such? Or was there some truth in what Frerin had said? Was Kili but a replacement for something he had lost and that the youngster could never be? And when Dis died... Is that ultimately what he was to Kili? An adult to take care of him? Even the father that Kili had never known, the one he wanted rather than the one he got?

He blinks hard, suddenly feeling like he is trying to find the answer to all life's questions and it makes him feel breathless.

Their differences were exciting, challenging, thrilling when they first started to look at each other in that forbidden way. But if they are honest with themselves is their age gap not too great? Can they really ignore their class differences when the world revolves around these?

He wishes there was someone who could offer him some sensible advice but then again he knows that the only person he would trust to do just that had already done so. And his heart had decided to overrule that advice anyway.

 _Don't try and analyse matters of the heart as if they were a court case!_ Funnily enough that phrase had come from his brother once, when he had locked himself away in his grief, telling him he would not love again because it hurt too much. _Yet I bet you would retract that statement now, brother. If you knew the love I have chosen._

He decides to give his hangover a chance to subside before he gives his internal battles any more air and walks back into the bedroom to pull the bed linen off the bed.

Kili turns around as he hears his lover behind him “ Would you like me to do that my love?” he asks getting to his feet and walking over to the bed “ after all it is my fault they need changing.”

"It is no one's fault," Thorin grumbles and continues with what he is doing, throwing the soiled bedding in a pile nearest the door to be boil-washed, then walks back into the kitchen to carry a bucket of cold water and the kettle back into the bedroom. "In you go then, little one," he smiles warmly at Kili.

Kili slowly gets into the bathtub and sinks down into the water submerging his hair. “ You spoil me, Thorin,” he smiles and closes his eyes feeling his body instantly relax. “ What did I do to deserve a handsome gentleman to look out for me?”

"I don't know," Thorin answers honestly. He grabs the soap and a flannel and begins to wash his sweetheart, all the while his mind is still racing over all these enormous questions. "I just want you to be happy," he adds softly. "It hurts me to see you upset. Especially when you are upset with me."

Kili opens his eyes and looks at his handsome love “ I could never be angry at you for long” he smiles and brings Thorin’s large hand up to his lips and places a gentle kiss along his knuckles “ I overreacted, it’s as simple as that, Thorin. You make me very happy” _More happy than I deserve to be!._

 "I hope so... " Thorin says, washing Kili's hair with the lavender scented soap.

“ Thorin …..  Thranduil, he said the ring you bought me is a wedding ring,” he says looking deep into his lover’s eyes.“Is it true?”

Thorin looks up in surprise, but quickly lowers his gaze again. "Why do you ask?" _And why did Thranduil tell you?_ he wonders at the same time.

“ Because I would marry you in a heartbeat if I could” He says quietly feeling a little shy “ I would be honoured to wed you, you are my soulmate.”

Thorin does not look up just yet, but he feels his worried features break into a smile. "Yes, it is a wedding ring," he says softly, rather aimlessly rubbing the flannel gently over Kili's skin now. "For my commitment to you is no less than were you my lawful partner." And there is the truth of the matter, he realises. That is truly how he feels about Kili, about them. No matter age or class if society would allow them to he would stand up in church and declare his devotion to Kili for all to hear. "So will you be my husband?" he says, laughing, playfully, looking at Kili now through his lashes.

Kili beams at his lover feeling love radiate off the beautiful person in front of him. He can feel his heart flutter as happiness spreads over his body _He loves me!_ he thinks happily “ Yes, Will you be mine for always?” Kili asks softly leaning towards his lover and kissing his jaw line.

"I will," Thorin grins. "But under one condition."

“ What’s that my love?” Kili asks.

"No more running away. We disagree, we talk about it, like partners should. Or otherwise I will tie you to my bed and never let you leave this room again," he threatens with a wink.

Kili giggles “ Agreed I will never run away again” He promises “ although I'd like to see you try tying me to your bed”.

Thorin raises an eyebrow as he rinses the flannel and gets to his feet, handing Kili a towel. "Perhaps I should anyway. Just to be on the safe side," he retorts.

Kili sticks his tongue out and brings his towel up to his hair drying his fast growing hair with the fluffy towel “ does that mean we get a honeymoon too?” he asks cheekily.

"A honeymoon?" Thorin asks in surprise, stripping out of yesterday's clothes. "And how do you even know about such matters?"

Kili shrugs “ I have heard people say if you are newlyweds you get a honeymoon _not that I know what one is but still sounds nice!_ he adds in his head.

Thorin laughs out loud. "A honeymoon is not something you _get._ It is something you do,” he grins as he steps into the tub that Kili has just vacated. “It is a trip,” he explains, roughly scrubbing his skin clean. Then a wicked smiles slides across his face. “A trip on which the husband gets to make his wife his own. And supposedly seed a child inside her.” He looks up at Kili’s blushing face.

“ Well lets go on one of these honeymoons” he says enthusiastically “  we can make love everyday, In every possible way” he smirks and walks over to the bath sliding his hand under the water taking Thorin’s manhood into his hand.

“I do not think we need a honeymoon to warrant such a delightful proposal,” Thorin groans under the touch. “Still, perhaps it is not such a bad idea … I could take you to the seaside,” he smiles, bending down to press a fleeting kiss on Kili’s lips before he steps out of the bath - the house is cold and bathing in the cooling water is hardly a luxury when he is used to being the first to enjoy the hot water.

Kili jumps with excitement “ Really the seaside?, I have never seen the sea I bet it’s beautiful” He says with a huge grin on his face “ Ma always said she would take me one day. You do mean it, don't you?” he asks wrapping his arms around his lover and running his hands along his chest.

“Yes, my love, I do mean it,” Thorin chuckles, wrapping his towel around the both of them. _How can I not love this beautiful creature? He is just perfect. Gorgeous, sweet and with an enthusiasm for absolutely everything that is just contagious!_ “When I next have a break in my schedule we will go to the seaside. Together.” He brushes his nose against Kili’s. “And consummate our marriage,” he laughs.

Kili laughs back “ You are a wonderful husband, I am proud to be yours” Kili states and places a soft kiss on his beloveds cheek. _How could I thought of leaving this man forever? He is perfect and kinder to me than anyone has ever been._

As they pull away Kili grins at his beloved. “ we better get dressed” he says softly grabbing a fresh pair of slacks and a shirt. “ I shall boil the water and make up a cup of tea” he says happily and walks into the kitchen to fill the copper kettle.

Thorin starts to hum contently to himself. He decides that he will need to speak to Thranduil at some point, not least to thank him for finding and returning Kili to him, but he will speak to Kili about it first this time. Maybe they should even talk to him together. The notion feels a little odd to him, but he decides he will try and treat Kili as a wife. It would not make him quite an equal but it certainly would elevate him from where he is now. _Yes, when we are in private that could work_ , he thinks, quite content with his decision.

He pulls on his slacks and buttons up his shirt. He still finds the whole idea of someone - anyone! - dressing him like a child ridiculous and frankly patronising, but he does like Kili helping him groom and thinks he might even ask him to help trim his beard. he walks up to his dresser to pick up his watch, but just as he attaches the chain to his vest his eye registers something that seems out of place.

He picks up the two wallets lying on the side and frown at them in confusion. “These are not mine.” Then a niggling suspicions curls inside his stomach when he opens the wallets and finds them empty.

He squeezes the soft expensive leather in his fist, trying to suppress his temper. More than anything he feels the deep disappointment. That despite everything, all the declarations of love and all the warnings, Kili chooses not to listen to any of it.

He walks into his study room and calls out Kili’s name.

Kili slowly walks into the study with a grin on his face. “I have been thinking I am going to make us a feast fit for kings to celebrate our marriage,” he laughs then notes his lover’s serious face. “Is everything okay, my love?”

Thorin slowly raises his eyes up at Kili, knowing his eyes have already shifted into a dark anger, but he manages to restrain himself from slamming his fist down, when he puts the two wallets on the desk between them.

Kili looks at the wallets with confusion then at Thorin. “Where did you get those?” he asks, he notes Thorin’s posture and expression and gulps thinking back to the previous night and a memory comes flooding back to him. _I stole them! and some bread and brandy._  

“Where did _I_ get those?” Thorin asks with a icy tone to his voice.

“ I...I did not remember until I saw them. I think I stole them” he admits quietly looking at his shoes “ And some bread and brandy.”

Thorin stares at Kili for what feels like an eternity for the both of them. “I do not know what to say,” he says eventually, his lips pursed in anger as he tries so hard not to bellow at his lover. _You lectured Kili that you should talk when you have an argument, so be the first to show your good intentions!_ he keeps reminding himself.

Kili shuffles his feet expecting his beloved to shout at any second, when he doesn't he feels the hairs on his neck stand up on end. _Why is he not yelling at me?_ he asks himself feeling more on edge at Thorin’s control of temper. “I am sorry. I was drunk and scared,” he squeaks his voice slightly higher than usual.

“Sorry?” Thorin narrows his eyes at Kili, bending himself forward across his desk in a menacing gesture. “Is that will you tell the magistrate when they drag you to court? How scared will you be, Kili, when the executioner pulls the sack over your head as you stand under the gallows? Hm?”

Kili hangs his head in shame feeling his hair fall in front of his face. He feels grateful that his hair is growing back and feels some sort of security hiding behind the messy mane. “No, sir, I am sorry. It...It won't happen again” he has a flashback to the day Thorin had caned him and his body shudders with fear and apprehension.

“Damn right it will not happen again!” Thorin growls, grabbing the wallets off the desk. “This … is … not … a … game … Kili!” he forces the words from his mouth. “Look at me when I talk to you!” He can feel the volume rise in his voice and breathes out slowly through his nostrils, trying to calm down.

Kili slowly lifts his head locking eyes with this beloved, he can see mixed emotions behind the darkened eyes. The one that hurts the most is the disappointment “ Yes sir, I truly regret my actions, they were stupid and selfish.”

Thorin turns his back on Kili, rubbing his face in his hand as he thinks about what to do next. Clearly whatever he and Thranduil have said to Kili about stealing is making very little impact on the youngster. _Perhaps I need to make this warning more tangible for him_ , he decides.

“This is not over yet,” he promises Kili as he walks around his desk and steers the youngster back towards the lounge by his elbow, where he throws the wallets into the fireplace.

Kili can feel his colour drain from his face at Thorin’s words and a wave of nausea wash over his body.  “ What….What will my punishment be?” he stutters _he won't use the cane on me! surely not?_ he panics.

Thorin ignores the question as he sits himself down on the sofa, leaving Kili staring at the smouldering items. “Don’t you think we have enough problems as it stands without you risking for the police to come knocking on the door because you cannot respect other people’s property?” he grumbles angrily.

Kili turns to face his lover feeling himself begin to calm as Thorin makes no moves towards the cabinet where he kept a cane and the like. “I did not mean to do it sir, it just happens, I know I am lucky to have you looking out for me. Thranduil has said it, but I knew anyway, it’s just….What problems?”

“Stop your rambling and calling me _sir_ ,” Thorin smirks. He hesitates for a moment whether to tell Kili about the arrest. Despite his anger with him the thing he wants to do more than anything - the very thing that drives his frustration with Kili’s reckless behaviour - is that he wants to protect him. But his tirade will hardly stand if he doesn’t show Kili the consequences of their actions, be it stealing or other things that in the eyes of the law are considered heinous crimes. “Someone I know was arrested two days ago.”

“Who? What for?” Kili asks confused then remembers the newspaper article “ Is that what you and Thranduil were talking about? I went to the kitchen and picked up the paper but could not make any of it out,” he admits.

“Yes it was,” Thorin nods. “An acquaintance. He was arrested on suspicion of sodomy,” he says plainly.

“Thorin um… What is sodomy?” he asks getting the kettle of the boil and pouring the water into two cups and mixing it with the tea. He hands a cup to Thorin and sits himself in the seat beside him with his own mug.

“Thank you,” Thorin says gratefully and looks at his love. _I wish the world would leave you to be as innocent as you are,_ he thinks with regret. “It ehm … it is the law’s term for when a man has sex with another man. It is illegal in this country, Kili, for us to know each other like that.”

“But I love you, How can that be so wrong?” Kili states, then has a sudden thought. “Are you saying you don't want us to be together after all? Because I would not be able to bare it” he says shuffling his body towards his lover and wrapping his arms around him.

Thorin cuddles Kili close. “Nor would I,” he smiles brushing his hair with his lips. “I meant what I said earlier. I want us to be together as were you my wife, I would risk everything for it. But not unnecessarily so. I would not seek to put us or anyone we know …” _Thranduil. Fili!_ it flits through his head, “... at risk. We have to remember to be careful. I do not know what happened, why all of a sudden the law was enacted upon. There have been so few arrest over the years I guess we have all grown complacent, thinking London was happy to look the other way knowing full well what was going on in the pubs and clubs of its backstreets.” He looks in Kili’s deep brown eyes. “But I will never stop loving you, my gorgeous, no matter what threat they issue us with.”

Kili gives his lover a little smile. “As would I. I would walk to the end of the earth for you,“ he says, leaning his head on his beloved. “ I wish I knew whose wallets they were, I want to apologise to them,” he says looking into the fire. “I am not good enough for you” he says softly. “You deserve someone that can read and write and doesn’t need someone to look after them constantly.”

“You will be someone who can read and write soon,” Thorin promises him. “And I like to look after you. But you must promise me not to steal again. Please Kili, I would die if something were to happen to you. I can give you everything you need, anything you want. Just say the word and it is yours. As long as you promise to stay with me.”

Kili looks into his lover's eyes and can see the concern behind them. “All I want is you, my love. All I need is you,” he says, placing a kiss onto his lips. “I will be with you always and I promise I will not steal again. I cannot bear disappointing you, you are my everything,” he says crushing their lips together and cupping his beloved's face.

Thorin can feel his stomach rumble and realises, “I did not eat anything last night. No wonder I feel rough as a dog this morning. You look after me poorly, Mr Durin,” he jests, pulling a sour face.

Kili smiles. “Do you want me to make us something now?” he asks running his hand along his hairline. “Eggs or something”.

“If that is all you have on offer to make up for your failings, sir, then I shall have to settle for that,” Thorin pouts. “I will boil some water for the sheets if you would run to the grocers on the corner to get us some fresh eggs. And get some bacon from the butchers too.”

“Oh yes I can do, he  says walking towards the door then turning back to his beloved. “Love you,” he says walking towards him and wrapping his arms around his lover's shoulders placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Love you too,” Thorin purrs softly and watches his young lover leave the room. _I am growing too soft,_ he reprimands himself silently as he stares at the wallets in the hearth as they turn to ashes.

+++

 


	48. Work ...

Thorin wipes his mouth and looks at Kili across the table. “That is better,” he smiles, patting his stomach. “Might actually be able to face the world now.” He cocks his head at the brunet. “What are your plans for today? You said we needed coal.”

Kili’s eyes move over to the nearly empty coal scuttle and then back to his lover’s face “ Yes otherwise I think we will freeze” he only half jokes “ And I promised you I would cook a feast to celebrate our marriage,” he grins “ I will make roast beef.”

“Although that does sound delightful,” Thorin smiles, “I would not want you slaving in the kitchen all day for our special night. How about,” he reaches for Kili’s hand, “I take you out tonight, my little prince? Somewhere very special. Somewhere where I can show you off on my arm?”

Kili can feel excitement rush over his body “ you mean it? I dont have to act as your valet? Is there such a place?” he asks feeling a huge grin spread across his face. _We get to be a proper couple!_ “ Will I get to dress up fancy?” he asks and begins to panic as he has not got anything suitable to wear.

“Well, there are some places in London still  were men like us can have an enjoyable night together, shall we say,” Thorin smiles a promising smile. “Strictly by invitation only of course. I need to stop by the office to pick up the papers for my next case and then I want to go and see an old friend to make some enquiries. How would you feel about accompanying me there first and from there we can go to Liberty and buy some nice clothes for tonight. I quite fancy picking out something new myself. After all, it is for our wedding night,” he winks.

 _I wonder where he is taking me?_ Kili thinks happily and tucks into the remains of his breakfast “ Will there be many other people there?” he asks stuffing his mouth full of egg. “Oh what’s Liberty?” he wonders out loud.

“A shop,” Thorin leans back, watching Kili fill his belly. “They do very nice suits there. And I think you will like to have a look around too, they have all sorts of curiosities. As for where I am taking you tonight, you will just have to see, my little lover.” As he thinks about it he already feels little flutters of excitement at the prospect of being able to openly court Kili in front of others.

Kili leans forward and places a kiss on his beloved’s lips. “ I love you an awful lot,” he whispers and presses his lips against Thorin again “ You are beautiful” he runs his hand down the nape of his neck and sucks a  little mark into his neck.

Thorin groans, but gently pushes Kili back. “There will be time for that later. You had best get ready now, I would like to leave in ten minutes, Mr Durin,” he moves into their professional arrangement.

Kili can feel his heart drop at the reminder that they can never be more than servant and master to the outside but  he forces himself to remain happy and not let his hurt show _you know it has to be like this!_ he reminds himself and walks into the hallway to retrieve both of their winter coats and hats and returns back to the living room clutching them in his arms.

Thorin is waiting for him as he  enters and he can feel his heart flutter as he gives him a smile “ Your coat Mr Oakenshield”,

“Thank you, my love,” Thorin cannot help himself and steals one last kiss from his lips. “But as soon as we step outside that door we will have to be on our best behaviour,” he reminds Kili as much as himself. “Make sure you walk a step behind me. Hold open all doors for me. You will make all the payments, but will not involve yourself in any conversation with my acquaintances unless I ask you to. This is the real world we will be walking into today, Kili. These are people who know me very well and I cannot afford for any questions to be asked about the nature of our relationship. Am I understood?”

“Yes sir” Kili replies quietly as he does up his buttons then hands Thorin his hat and gloves _why is the real world against us?_ he thinks sadly opening the door wide for his lover and master.

Thorin likes to walk during the daytime. It keeps him in shape and more importantly it allows him time to think, to mull things over in his head. Today is no different  and the thoughts that are going around in his head as they walk towards the Law Institution’s Offices on Chancery Lane is about those damned wallets interchanged by his promise to Thranduil to try and find out more about the sodomy case. He is so engrossed in it that he almost forgets that Kili is even walking with him, until he suddenly stops in front of the building and the youngster bumps into him.

Kili feels himself collide with his beloved as he had been looking at the floor “ Sorry sir,” he mumbles looking up into his face and takes a few respectful steps backwards “ won't happen again”.  

“It’s okay,” Thorin smiles and then nods up at the sign above the door. “This is the Registry Office for the Law Society” he explains under his breath. “We will meet with my clerk to obtain the papers for my case. It will be busy inside so stay by my side.”

“Yes sir,” Kili dares to give his beloved a little smile, as the doors open he looks around the crowded offices and can feel apprehension as well as fear run through his body _how can so many people work in one place?_ he wonders and opens his mouth to ask this when he remembers Thorin warning about talking and shuts it again.

Thorin strides down the large and ornate hall towards the desk. “I have an appointment with Mr Evans,” he tells the receptionist who nods and immediately gets to her feet. She knows Mr Oakenshield well enough by now not to have to enquire after his name.

“Who is Mr Evans?” Kili asks quietly when the reception woman is out of earshot “ This place sure is grand” He utters looking at the grand stairs they had just come down..    

“It is,” Thorin nods, looking around the hall himself. It is a beautiful building with lots of history. “Mr Evans is the legal clerk who handles my court papers. Basically he gathers all the information I need, does the leg work so to say.” He looks up as a tall man dressed in a plan suit with dark hair and a perfectly groomed moustache walks towards the two of them.

“Bard,” he greets the other man warmly, shaking his hand. “A very happy new year to you. I hope you and your family had a good Christmas.”

“We did, sir, thank you” Bard smiles warmly at the barrister. _He certainly seems in good spirits_ he looks past the tall man to the young man hoovering behind him silently “ and a happy new year to you too, sir.”

Thorin nods politely and then follows the solicitor down the corridor to one of the oak-panelled offices, motioning Kili to follow him but wait outside the office door.

Kili does as he is told. There are seats outside the door and he is unsure if to sit down or stand. In the end he decides it is safer to stand and moves himself by the wall of the corridor out of the way but keeps his eyes trained onto the door.

“So, what updates have you for me?” Thorin asks as he takes a seat opposite Bard.

“Well here is some more information for the Benjamin Flannery case,” Bard says, sliding the file across the table towards the tall gentleman. “We have had some new developments”.

“Alright, what?” Thorin asks impatiently, opening the file and flicking through the papers, he had seen once before, just before they broke up for Christmas. “I see you spoke to Mrs Green again. She still stands by her story?”

“ Yes still stands by the fact the boy acted alone where Mr Smith is sure that Benjamin was put up to it by some of the other staff” he informs him while flicking through his notes on the case.

“Why unless Mr Smith is going to give me some names he might as well not open his mouth,” Thorin growls. He closes the file again and stares at Bard. “You have to give me more than this. Mr Flannery has been in trouble with the law on numerous occasions already and the last time they sent him to a correctional unit for minors.” He shakes his head. “But he is of age now. Unless you have any evidence that would help me convince the jury that he was put up to this and or that there is any doubt around whether he even took the money and bashed Mr Laketown over the head then please help me out here or the boy will hang.”

Bard writes a note on the page. “I shall go and see Mr Smith this afternoon and put a little pressure on him for a name” he promises then looks over the pages again “ what are the boys chances of getting away with a prison sentence?” he asks quietly,

“I will do my best,” Thorin says a little sharply, knowing the outcome will be at the hand of his success or failure. “But the judge has already hinted that he seeks to make an example of your client and I feel it will need something substantial to convince him otherwise. I suggest you pay Mr Flannery another visit and urge him to come up with some more information. The trial is the day after tomorrow and I will not lie, at the moment this is looking poorly for him.”

He nods at the second file. “Is that the Mullins case you mentioned?” It was a Crown prosecution case, which he much preferred and it was the line of work he had been keen to strengthen himself in. Not only did it feel much more satisfactory to see criminals convicted rather than set free, but it also raised his profile within the courts, not to mention his salary. However, occasionally a case like the Flannery one still took his interest, when he felt that the client was perhaps not entirely innocent, but nonetheless deserved a strong defense to try and keep him or her from the noose.

“ It is sir, Mr Mullin’s still claim his innocence, and he was with his son’s the night of the murder, I have an appointment to visit the son’s tomorrow to see if we can whittle out there story for the lies they are” Bard states taking a sip of tea that was on the table he thinks about the  boy shuffling his feet in the hallway _I have seen that lad before!_ he thinks and chooses his words carefully “ The boy sir…. who is he?”

 _The boy? Which boy?_ Thorin is momentarily puzzled by the question. "You mean K... Mr Durin, the young man who accompanied me today?"

“ Yes sir the brown haired lad” he replies looking at Mr Oakenshield _he looks familiar! “_ I have seen him somewhere before.”

Thorin knits his brow together at the and shuffles ever so slightly on his seat. “He is my valet. You must be mistaken, he has only recently joined me here in London.”

 _I am sure I have met him before!_ Bard frowns then it suddenly comes to him _He looks similar to one of the boys at Ma Molly’s! But it can't be!_ he shakes his head trying to clear these thoughts and smiles at Mr Oakenshield “ he must just have one of those faces sir.”

“I guess so,” Thorin answers curtly. _How dare you!_ he thinks silently. _My Kili is a beauty unrivaled!_ But he paints a courteous smile onto his face and purposefully closes the file and puts it into his briefcase. “I shall read through these and I will see to hear from you on the Flannery case before tomorrow’s eve.”

“ Yes sir,” Bard replies going back to his work “ I shall send word when I have some news for you.

“Goodday sir,” Thorin extends his hand as he rises to his feet.

Bard takes the hand and smiles. “ Good day.” he watches the man leave then thinks back to Mr Oakenshield’s valet. _I swear that his valet is that rentboy!_ he thinks about this for a second then lets the thought clear from his head and looks over his notes.

Thorin watches Kili jump to his feet the moment he opens the door. “Ready to go?” he asks unnecessarily.

Kili nods looking around the corridor nervously, feeling tense at the amount of people in the building. “ Yes sir,” he squeaks quietly, running his hand through his long hair and looks at the grand stairway.

The brunet can feel all colour drain from his face as he spots the bulky Scottish man walking down the stairs _Please no!_ pure terror rushes to his heart and he clings onto Thorin’s coat hiding himself behind his lover. “ Please don’t let him see,” he mutters as his heart pounds. 

Thorin looks at the teenager in confusion , but as he follows his gaze his blood freezes in his veins. _McTavish._ He considers for a moment whether to turn and take Kili to the library until the bastard Scot is gone, but then their eyes lock and the decision is made for him. There is absolutely no way he is going to give that man the pleasure of him running off like a naughty schoolboy and he straightens himself a little more as he narrows his eyes as his adversary.

Dwalin eyes the englishman with disgust, and humilation at the last time they met _Bastard nancy!_ he can feel his face redden with anger and longs to call the other lawyer out but remembers where he is _I will have my revenge, you dirty queer!_

He notes the bastard boy clinging onto his master for dear life and shoots him a glare and a smirk, causing him to flinch and cling harder and gives a smug look at the other lawyer daring him to call him out.

“Let’s go,” Thorin orders Kili, plucking his hand from his coat as he makes his way towards the wide staircase. _I will not give you an inch, you bully_ , he conveys with his glare and storms past the other barrister, hearing Kili’s rapid footsteps follow in hot pursuit.

Kili looks behind at the brute of a man, the Scotsman lifts his coat up a little, subtly  showing Kili the worn leather belt and he can feel his eyes widen with horror. His body begins to shudder and tears prick his eyes as he subconsciously winches at the thought of the belt buckle digging into his flesh,     

Thorin stops as the sound of footsteps behind him suddenly is gone and he slowly turns around. He finds Kili and the Scotsman stood across from each other, staring at each other like angry streetcats, Kili trying to creep past as the older man intimidates him.

“Mr Durin,” he calls to his lover. “We shall be on our way now.”

“Yes sir,” Kili squeaks and hastily follows his lover away from the beast that has tormented him and is still tormented him. he tries to hold his head up high. _Don’t you dare give him the satisfaction of showing him how terrified you are!_ he tells himself firmly as he feels a stab of panic and looks around to check he isn't following them.

Thorin glares at the Scot as he follows his young love with his eyes. He knows he should just turn away and be on his way, but he desperately wants to punch the smug, evil grin from the man’s face. “Mr McTavish, should you not be on your way also?” he growls. “I am sure you would not wish to keep your clerk waiting. Or was there something you wanted to ask me? Perhaps,” he sneers as he takes a step back down towards the Scot again, “you wished to have another private chat with me?”

Dwalin glares at Thorin he can feel his face colour as anger sores through his entire body, his blood boils but he forces himself to remain calm to the unknown bystander _I will get you for this, you jumped up wench!_ “ Good day to you” he forces himself to say and storms further down the steps cursing under his breath.

Thorin watches the bald man disappear before he turn back to his sweetheart. “Let’s go,” he orders, setting a brisk pace with his walking stick as he leads Kili back out of the building.

Kili runs to keep up with his lover’s fast pace. _I'm going to be fit if this is how I am spending my days!_ he thinks giving a nervous glance behind him, the brunet can feel his body begin to relax as he realises the scottish man is not following them and wraps the borrowed winter coat close around himself to protect from the fierce winter coldness.

Once they have left the institute Thorin slows down, allowing Kili to catch up. When the youngster is in step with, he mumbles under his breath, “Are you alright, Kili?”

“Fine, I will be fine” he says hearing a little judder in his voice “ I was bound to bump into him at some point as he is in the same work as you.”

“Hm,” Thorin grumbles, aiming for the high street. “Don’t worry, he will not bother you again. I think we had best buy you a new coat now, since you have a habit of handing yours out to the downtrodden,” he smirks.

Kili looks up at Thorin’s face and can see a little smile in the corner of his mouth and finds it infectious; he can feel his own mouth twitch and break into a grin. “ I do, I am sorry.” He thinks about Thorin’s parting words to his tormentor and frowns. “Why did McTavish look so shifty when you mentioned having a private word with him?”

Thorin can feel the shadow shift over his features as he stares straight ahead. “Nothing for you to worry about,” he says curtly. “Mr McTavish understands now that he should not cross me,” is all he says as he keeps his brisk pace.

Kili thinks about these words and opens his mouth to ask more when he remembers where they are and shuts his mouth again. “Yes, sir,” he says quietly and increases his walking pace so he can keep up with out needing to run. “ Where are we going sir?”

“To the Law Courts on The Strand,” Thorin says as the turn onto Fleet Street. “I just want to catch up with an old friend.” He says no more, reluctant to discuss the matter on the open street as he leads Kili onto The Strand towards the new Royal Courts of Justice building. “Here we are,” he points his cane at the ornate gothic building as they pass the clock tower and walk up to the arched entrance. “Impressive, right?” he smiles to Kili whose mouth hangs open as he takes in the building.

“It’s….it’s enormous,” he gawps and stops dead in his tracks. “Do you work here? I think most of London must work here!” he states wide-eyed. “I have never seen anywhere so big.”

Thorin chuckles softly. “I am afraid I do not. I will show you my place of work after, if you’d like. I work at the Criminal Court. This here,” he explains as they climb the stairs, “houses the High Court and Court of Appeal. So cases to do with contracts, trade and companies mainly. And then appeals from cases already heard.” He bends himself closer to Kili. “Personally, I think it is pretty boring,” he winks surreptitiously.

They enter the main hall and Kili can feel his mouth drop as he takes in the sheer height and size of the place “ Is this a castle?” he asks quietly thinking about what his mother had always told him about castles _it looks how she described!_

“I think it looks more like a cathedral,” Thorin joins Kili in looking around the impressive hall with its decorations from floor to ceiling. He does not come here very often and since it was opened three years ago he still found himself gawping almost as much as Kili each time he took in the sheer grandeur of the place. “Just down there,” the points his cane to a corridor on the right.

Kili forces himself to peel his eyes off the high decorative ceiling, remembering he is still technically working and follows Thorin down the corridor looking left to right as he does, taking in everything. “This must have been interesting to build” he says quietly as they walk past a statue _and cost a lot to build also!_

“Indeed,” Thorin says quietly and stops before a large set of doors. “I need you to be real quiet now,” he almost whispers himself as he puts his hand on the door. “We will just watch the end of the hearing and then catch my mentor after.”

He slowly opens the door and allows Kili to slip in after him. He shows his card to the gentleman at the door who nods them through and he points Kili to a seat at the back of the auditorium.

They sit in the gallery and Kili finds himself fascinated as he listens to lawyers and judges talk, taking in everything they say and do with interest _I can see why Thorin is a barrister!_  as he hears an elderly gentleman talk and it reminds him of his beloved. _Wish I could read and write, I would love to do something like this!_ he thinks wistfully.

Thorin glances over at his beloved and smiles when he finds him lent forward on the bench, listening attentively to the goings on. Then he turns back as the judge lowers his hammer to call for order as the conversation heats up again. And he smiles to himself as he watches some of the mannerism in the judge that he knows he had taken over in years of training with his father’s old acquaintance.

Another ten or maybe fifteen minutes go by before the hearing is adjourned and Thorin motions to Kili to follow him to the front of the courtroom. They carefully descend the wooden steps and he weaves his way through the people spilling out of the room until he reaches the front of the room. Just as the court official steps out to stop him proceeding any further, he calls out to his mentor. “Your Honour!”

Gandalf turns around at the call and finds himself smiling at his ex pupil. “Thorin, my boy,” he says and greets him as if you would your own child “ how are you?” he asks motioning for a nearby bench to sit down.

“I am very well,” Thorin smiles warmly at the elderly man, clasping his forearms. “Actually, could we perhaps talk in private?” he asks before they sit down.

“Of course, my boy, of course,” he says happily.  “We can go to my chambers and have a drink,” he beams at his friend. “Been a long time, Thorin,” he says leading the way to his room just off to the side from the large gallery.

Thorin motions for Kili to follow them as he falls in step with his old mentor. “It has been too long,” he agrees. “How have you been, Gandalf?”

“Very well, thank you,” he say taking the powdered wig off and placing it on his desk “ What can I get you, brandy? Whisky?” He walks over to his drinks cabinet and takes out two glasses and begins pouring himself a brandy.

Kili looks at the tall man in shock. _I thought Thorin was tall! This man is a giant!_ he thinks suddenly feeling a bit fearful of the well spoken man with a long grey beard and tries to hide himself a little in the shadows of the large office.

Thorin smiles at Kili as he watches him shuffle nervously and beckons him. “Gandalf, may I introduce you to Kili,” he says to his old friend, who appeared not to have noticed the sleek teenager up until now.

Kili looks at his lover a little surprised at being introduced to one of his lover’s acquaintances as Kili rather than Mr Durin and holds out a shaky hand to the elderly man. “P..Pleased to meet you, sir,” he says with a trembling voice.

Gandalf looks at the teenager and takes in his smart appearance, but can sense his nerves underneath and gives him a friendly smile. “It’s a pleasure, Kili,” he says, turning back to the drinks cabinet and taking out a third glass. “And what can I get you, young sir?”

Kili looks up at his lover who gives him an encouraging nod. “Brandy please, sir,” he replies quietly feeling a little puzzled at the change of events at going from Mr Durin back to Kili so rapidly.

“Kili is my partner,” Thorin says to the older man, shifting just a little. It is the first time he had told anyone in a semi-public place about their relationship and although Gandalf is like a father to him - one he trusts with this information more than he ever would have his real father - he still feels a nervous flutter at the revelation. He looks into the blue eyes of his host, giving a tentative smile.

Kili can actually feel himself stumble in shock and looks around the room half expecting narks to come in from every direction. “Thorin, you said yourself we are not allowed to tell anyone!” he hisses. He can feel the colour drain from his face. _Let alone a bloody judge!_

But Thorin smiles reassuringly, offering Kili a seat. “It is alright, my love. Gandalf here is my mentor,” he nods to the man, who smiles warmly at the both of them. “And he is one of us,” he says meaningfully.

It takes Kili a couple of seconds to understand Thorin’s meaning. “You mean he… he oh,” he says taking in everything Thorin had said and feels his heart rate begin to return back to normal and smiles at the elderly man as he hands him a large drink.

“Drink that down you, my boy, your secret is safe with me” he says and hands a large glass of brandy to his ex pupil “ It's nice to see you smile again Thorin.”

Thorin finds his smile widen at that. "Thank you. Kili has made me a very happy man," he says proudly, finding it such a welcome thing to finally tell someone he holds in such high regards. "How is Saruman?" The last time they had spoken so frankly Gandalf's secret partner had not been in the best of health.

Gandalf can feel his smile drop a little. “No good, dear boy” he says softly trying to get control of his emotions as he thinks of his long term partner “ they have moved his room downstairs because of his heart.”

Thorin reaches forward and takes Gandalf's thin long hands in his big ones. "I'm sorry to hear that. Please give him my best regards and prayers."

He lets go of the hands again and takes a sip of his drink. "Gandalf, I have seen the article about Mr Weaving ..." he states, looking questioningly at the wise older man.

"Ah yes I am afraid to say someone tipped of the authorities" The elderly man sighs  and takes a deep mouthful of his brandy " Poor Elrond, they caught him in the act."' 

Thorin flinches. "Foolish man," he sighs. "Do you know where they ehm  ....? Somewhere public?"

Gandalf sighs taking a seat behind the giant desk and looking His ex pupil in the eyes “ Yes at a Pub, he had rented a room, I'm  unsure on which pub my boy but It was with a erm well a rent boy” he admits flushing, and notes the brunette's eyes widen.

 _Please dont be someone I know!_ He panics his mind working on overdrive as he thinks of his friends from Ma Molly’s _well thank god I know it was not Bilbo but what about the others_  “ Do you know the rent boy’s name sir?” he asks trying to keep his panic hidden as he feels his colour drain.

Gandalf notes panic in the youths voice “ Yes it was a Philip. I am unsure of the surname” he frowns at the unusual question and pours himself another drink noting the young man suddenly look a little more relaxed.

"Why it sounds like a foolish act of a careless individual," Thorin says softly, knowing full well how reckless he and Kili had been the last few weeks. "Do you think this is simply an isolated matter, my friend? Or should we be looking over our shoulder?"

Gandalf can see a little worry in his friends face and places his hand on his shoulder “ It is an Isolated case my boy do not worry” he says giving him a smile “ so onto more cheerful subjects how did the two of you meet?”

Thorin smiles at his young lover, feeling a little reassured by his mentor's view of the case. "I've known Kili almost all his life," he answers honestly. "He is the son of my late housekeeper and just before his sixteenth birthday he started working for me, initially just helping with jobs around the estate, but I'm now training him to be my valet. He's keen to learn to read and write," he gives him a proud smile.

“ That is wonderful Kili” Gandalf says with a grin as he sees a loving glance between Thorin and the young man “ Saruman and myself must have you over for dinner one night we have an excellent new cook.”

Thorin looks to Kili again, who smiles nervously. "Thank you, that would be lovely." Then he beams like a child in a sweetshop. "I almost forgot to mention. I got my first Crown Prosecution case," he states proudly.

“ Thats wonderful Thorin, I am so proud” He says sincerely putting his hand on the barristers shoulder “ Your father would be proud also.” 

Thorin feels himself swell a little with pride. But if he's honest with himself Gandalf's compliment is the one that over the years had come to mean more than anything to him. _At least he respects and approves of all of me. Not just my professional achievements._ "We shall keep you no longer, I know you are a busy man," he says, getting to his feet as he downs the last of his drink. "I look forward to the dinner invitation."

Gandalf smiles widely at both in his office “ Actually I am throwing one of my famous dinner parties Friday would you both care to join us and Thranduil of course? Saruman is quite fond of him”

 Thorin can see Kili shift a little at the mention of the American and quickly answers, "Kili and I will be there, it will be my pleasure, old friend. I'm taking Kili to Mother Claps tonight so I will ask Thranduil." He briefly embraces his mentor before turning to Kili who had kept uncharacteristically quiet. "We're going to Liberty now to buy something nice to wear tonight."

Kili smiles then turns to the elderly man “ Pleasure to meet you sir” he holds out his hand.

Gandalf grins and ignores the hand pulling the young man into an embrace “ The pleasure is mine” he says “ And thank you for making Thorin so happy. I haven’t seen him so happy and loved up in a long time.”

Kili can feel himself blush and follows his lover back out of the office talking the position of servant once more  “ he is nice” he whispers so only his beloved can hear him.

Thorin nods with a happy smile around his lips but is careful not to say anything else outside of the security of private rooms. “Off to Liberty then,” he smiles at Kili leading him back out of one impressive building and towards another he knows is sure to take his breath away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bard and Gandalf written by witchesdelite


	49. Mother Claps

Kili looks at the suit feeling a buzz of excitement as well as a little anticipation at what Thorin had planned for the both of them. “Where are we going?” he asks for the sixth time in ten minutes and wraps his arms around his beloved and crushes their lips together. “Where are we going? Or I will have to find another way to get it out of you,” he purrs into his ear, sucking gently on his shell.

Thorin groans softly and grabs Kili in his arms, dragging him onto the bed with him. "I think maybe we're just staying right here having fun," he teases. "Since that seems to be the thing on your mind."

“Noooo! I am just impatient,” Kili giggles, running his fingers along Thorin’s neck. “I want to go out with my husband and then you can make love to me later,” he shrieks as Thorin playfully tickles his ribs.

"You are a demanding little so and so," Thorin laughs, casually resting himself back. "Anyway, you already know where we are going. I told Gandalf we're going to Mother Claps," he smiles cheekily.

Kili groans. “What’s mother Claps? I can't believe we are actually going out as a couple,” he babbles excitedly, leaning his head on his beloved’s chest then he remembers Thorin’s words about Thranduil. “Howcome Mister Thranduil will be there?”

Thorin chuckles. " _Mister_ Thranduil will not be there," he smiles at Kili's frown.

Kili looks at his beloved questioningly then another question pops to mind. “Who is Saruman? Gandalf mentioned that name. And what does he mean his famous dinner parties?" he asks, his mind suddenly full of questions about the day’s events.

"You, my beautiful one, ask way too many questions." Thorin pins his lover under him and drives his tongue deep into his mouth.

Kili lets out a moan which is muffled by his beloved’s lips and sleeks his own tongue against Thorin’s,  fighting for dominance. As they pull apart the brunet giggles. “Maybe we _should_ stay here and celebrate in private,” he grins and slicks his hand into Thorin’s slacks.

Thorin shakes his head at being played at his own game. "You cheeky sod. Get up and get dressed or we'll be late," he playfully pushes the brunet away and rolls himself off the bed.

“Oh,” Kili moans, but gets off the bed himself and begin to examine his pristine fine new suit. “It is so posh, I’m going to look like a proper rich man,” he chuckles.

Kili carefully puts on the suit so only the bow tie is remaining “Thorin I can't do a bow, you might have to help me,” he says feeling himself flush red.

Thorin turns around to his lover, having put on his own dress suit and smiles. He walks up to his lover put the finishing touches on. Once he has tied the bow-tie he looks Kili up and down, then shakes his head. "This just won't do."

Kili looks down at the suit. “What's wrong with it?” _Do I really look that bad?!_ he begins to panic and looks at his love.

"The suit  ... The hair... Those beautiful eyes... There is no way you can go out looking that handsome, it would be a crime for sure!" Thorin bites his lip, cocking his head.

Kili can feel a blush creep across his face at the compliment. “I am not that handsome. I am nowhere near as beautiful as you. You have the perfect face and your eyes are the most amazing shade of blue”.

"Why thank you," Thorin bows to his lover. "However, I know that I will be keeping a very close eye on you tonight. And make it quite well known that you, sexy devil, are mine."

Kili can feel himself harden at the words of possessiveness then curiosity again. “Where are we going where you can make that clear? Please tell me,” he whines. Then he spots some blue ribbon on the shoe box and grabs it wrapping it around his hair.

Thorin groans in approval. "Now I want to unwrap you like a present," he moans softly. “Let’s go,” he holds out his arm for Kili, although the moment they step out of the door they will have to play the game. “Or we will never get past the bedroom door.”

+++

The broad shouldered black man at the door nods to Thorin as he shows him the discrete membership card. Thorin holds out his arm again for Kili to take as he leads him inside, this time not letting him go again.

Kili nudges his lover. “What's wrong with that man's skin, is he poorly?” he asks looking back at the big man. “Should we help him?”.

Thorin looks at Kili in confusion then begins to laugh as it dawns on him that Kili will never have met an African American before. "No little one, he's not sick. He comes from a hot country far away where people have dark skin."

Kili wants to ask more but as he looks around he feels his jaw drop as Thorin leads him into the building which from the outside had looked like a plain old terraced house. But as soon as they enter what would be the lounge the place that opens up to them is nothing like an ordinary residence.

The large open room is decorated with thick velvet curtains. Little round tables are placed before a small stage, where a lady dressed in an elaborate frock and feathered hat is singing to the clientele, which Kili notes are exclusively gentlemen.

His eyes bulge as he takes in the detail and realises that there are men holding hands, men kissing! and no one seems to even flinch.

His eyes fix on the woman singing _That woman looks somewhat familiar._ he tries to think how he knows the blond lady, but soon finds himself looking around the room again his attention drawn to other things. ”Wow this is…. wow!”

Thorin hands Kili a glass of champagne that is offered to the both of them by a bare-chested young man and guides his lover to a table close to the stage. There he kisses Kili’s hand and clinks their glasses together. “To us, my beloved husband,” he smiles happily.

Kili grins, happiness flooding through his body. “To our future,” he smiles and hesitantly places a kiss on Thorin’s cheek. “To our love,” he half expects for someone to gasp at the loving gesture and feels relief when no one even bats an eyelid. “And to a happy life together.”

Thorin relaxes back in the comfortable seat, sipping his champagne, as he turns his gaze to the performer on stage. _This is perfect_ , he smiles happily to himself as he lets his free hand wander onto Kili’s thigh, softly squeezing him. “So, what do you think of her?” he gives Kili a cheeky smile, nodding to the singing woman.

Kili looks to the stage at the blonde haired woman. “She has a good voice,” he says noting how the stranger holds a note. “She looks familiar,” he narrows his eyes taking in her appearance, she was tall for a lady and wore a green dress. “Have I met her before?”

Thorin chuckles softly. “You have met _him_ before,” he grins. “Do you really not recognise him? Then again, the last time you two met you were completely wasted …” he teases.

Kili looks at his beloved confused then can feel his eyes bulge from his head in shock as recognition sinks in and he stares from the blond to his beloved. “ No… Really mister Thranduil is a woman!”

Thorin chokes on his champagne in laughter. As he pulls his kerchief from his pocket to wipe his moustache and beard he looks back at Kili. “No, you silly boy. Mister Thranduil is all man, that I can vouch for. But sometimes at night … Well, he likes to be Miss Fanny Star." He grins wickedly at Kili and then joins in the applause as the American finishes the song.

“Why?? Are you always Thorin or ever anyone else?” he watches Thranduil astounded as he curtsies to the gentlemen while they applaud.

"Oh I could not pull that off! " Thorin laughs loudly at Kili's shocked face. "Do you think she looks pretty?" he teases, rubbing his thumb over Kili's chin.

Kili looks at Mister Thranduil as he exits the stage. “No, just strange! What do I call him, Thranduil or Fanny?" he asks, confused. “Why does he do that?”

"You should call her Miss Fanny. Although I'm sure she doesn't mind what you call her." He takes Kili’s hand and brushes his thumb over it. “Don’t look so aghast, my love. It is theatre, it’s a show, entertainment.”

He beams as his old lover spots them and she quickly walks over to them. He gets to his feet and greets the American with a kiss on either cheek. "I'm sorry we got here late, gorgeous."

Kili eyes Thranduil very confused, not able to get his head around the normally smartly dressed gentleman in a green dress and high laced boots. _This is just weird. Why?_ he tries to look polite and gives the American a shy smile then sips on his champagne.

"Kili!" Thranduil -or Miss Fanny- throws his arms in the air and pulls the youngster to his feet. "Darling, so lovely to see you here!" he greets him with two wet kisses also before Kili had a chance to escape. "You look dashing tonight! Quite the gentleman now that Thorin has polished you up!"

Kili tries not to jump in surprise. _That is not how gentlemen act! What do I do?!_ “H-hello. Thank you,” he replies, quietly taking another huge gulp of the champagne. _Why is no one else shocked by this?!_

Thorin can see Kili's unease and wraps his arm protectively around his waist. "Hands off, darling," he winks at the American. "This one is mine.” He takes Kili’s hand and points the ring, which he normally wore under his shirt, but which Thorin had insisted he would wear on his finger tonight, at his friend. "Only mine,"he winks.

Kili beams brightly up at Thranduil. “We are married, I am now Mr Oakenshield,” he babbles, almost jumping from the seat, as excitement floods through his body and giggles as Thranduil waves his hands around with excitement.

“Oooh, that is wonderful!!” Thranduil squeaks, sitting himself down accepting the glass of champagne one of the scarcely clad men hands him. “Well I am glad you two finally worked it out!” But then the American pouts. “Although … Why was I not invited to your wedding?” He looks from Thorin, back to Kili. “After all the hassle you two put me through I would have at least expected to be asked to be maid of honour!”

Kili laughs. “We didn’t exactly have a proper ceremony,” he admits, looking up at his beloved and placing a kiss onto his lip’s “ But he is mine forever, and always,” he says placing a second kiss against Thorin’s soft lips then looks to miss Fanny, still seeing hurt. “You would have made a lovely maid of honour,” he grins. “Or best man.”

Thranduil smiles at the young man and he decides there and then that despite all the trouble the youngster causes, he really does belong with Thorin. He turns to Thorin. “Thorin, my darling, congratulations. However, I am woefully disappointed in you. You cannot have this handsome young man forego a proper wedding. What kind of a gentleman are you?” he scolds playfully.

Thorin rolls his eyes, well used to Fanny’s tantrums. “Why my dear, I did ask the local pastor, but he told me to go to hell,” he mocks. “I think he meant it too.”

“ I don’t need a proper wedding,” Kili says quietly wrapping his arms around Thorin’s waist and gives Thranduil a smile. “As long as we are together, I don’t care about a ceremony. We both are committed to each other and that is what counts,” he says looking up at Thorin with wide eyes “ Right my love?”

“Right,” Thorin nods proudly at Kili’s beautiful words of love.

Fanny huffs, but from under his eyelashes beams at the two loved up men. “You are sugar sweet,” he grins, blowing the feather on his wide-brimmed hat out of his face.

 “I like your hat,” Kili smiles. _Actually, he passes off as a lass quite well._

Thranduil grins at Kili and promptly takes off the hat and places it on Kili's head. "Aaaaw, you look cute," he squeezes his cheek softly.

Kili giggles at the blond then turns to Thorin. “What do you think, my love, does it suit?” he asks, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

Thorin nods, smiling. "I think you give Miss Fanny a little competition alright," he grins when as expected his ex-lover yanks the hat back as he pulls an offended face at that. "No-one competes with the lovely Miss Fanny," Thranduil shoves his makeshift bosom forward.

Kili laughs. “Sorry m’am, I’m just too cute,” he says getting into the spirit of Thranduil as a woman and takes the hat off his head placing it back on his own head. _Okay this is actually quite fun!_  The blond pouts and Kili takes a large swig of the alcohol finishing his glass. “Can the prettiest thing in this place have a refill my love?” he asks, turning to Thorin.

Thorin chuckles as he watches Thranduil flush. "Ooh my darling, you really do have competition," he grins. He places a kiss on the American's cheek and then kisses Kili full on the mouth, happy to be able to do that in company for the first time. "Of course, little one," he beams. Then whispers, "You'd best give that back. Miss Fanny can be a real drama queen," he winks.

Thranduil lets out a little indignant squeak and swats Thorin’s thigh as he walks off.

Kili places the hat back on Thranduil’s head. “You look perfect,” he jests.

“Hmpf, you are lucky that you are such a pretty little thing,” Thranduil smirks, brushing the strands of his long blond wig out of his face. “So, your first time at Mother Claps’ House of Fun?” he grins at the brunet. “What do you think?”

Kili looks around again. “I think it is brilliant!” he says and then looks at the blond woman. “You are an excellent singer I sound like a cat being strangled,” he admits blushing. 

“Nonsense, everyone can sing!” Fanny smiles, flicking the tip of Kili’s nose. “But thank you for the compliment, you are a proper gentleman.”

Kili grins. “I am trying to be, I want to make Thorin proud of me,” he says smiling. “I hate it when he is disappointed in me because I have done something stupid again.” He takes out a cigarette tin which Thorin had given him before he left and offers one to Thranduil.

The American shakes his head. “Thank you, my darling, but ladies really should not smoke. Besides it is awful for my singing voice.” He smiles when Thorin returns with a bottle of champagne.

 “Love, would you like a smoke?” the brunet asks, taking out a box of matches from his pocket also and lighting his own.

Thorin smiles in thanks as he uncorks the bottle and pours their glasses full, before accepting the smoke, and putting an arm around his lover.

He beams as Thorin winds his arm around his waist. _This is so nice!_ he thinks  leaning his head on him. “ I love you” he feels a flutter at being able to say it outside their home. “I love you.”

Thranduil huffs loudly as he watches the lovers kiss again. "Fine, just flaunt your love and kisses whilst I get to sit here sipping cheap champagne on my own," he sulks.

“Hardly cheap,” Thorin mumbles, but throws the American a forgiving smile.

Kili leans forward and kisses Thranduil's cheek, giggling. “ You make a good lass,” he says. “And throw a good tantum”.

"How dare you!" Thranduil pretend snaps but then starts to fan his face again, sticking his tongue out at Thorin. "I got a kiss from, Kili," he swoons. "How about you,  sexy?"

Thorin laughs at his friend, but looks to Kili for confirmation that this game is alright with him still. After all that evening is for Kili and their commitment to each other.

Kili grins. “Thank you for bringing me here,” he says.“ You are the best.” Then he realises Thorin is checking that he is okay with him and Thranduil. “Go ahead,” he chuckles shyly.

Thranduil needs no more encouragement as he gets to his feet and holds his cheek close enough for a kiss from the Englishman tapping his finger against the desired spot and then giggles at Kili. "I'm singing again later," he sways his hips making his skirts rustle. "And you, " he flicks the tip of Kili's nose again, "will sing with me. Now excuse me whilst I  go and powder my nose."

Kili turns to Thorin when Thranduil has gone, beaming. “Now he is  fun as a woman,” he smiles then gulps at the American’s order. “I can’t sing, shit.”

"That is not very gentleman like," Thorin smacks Kili's thigh,  before placing hungry kisses along his neck line. "You'll be fine. Just have another drink. She’s had me up there before," he laughs.  "I'm glad you like Miss Fanny".

“I bet you have got an amazing voice though, my love,” he moves himself onto Thorin’s lap and crushes their lips together. “I love this  place, we can be free.”

"Yes," Thorin smiles, rubbing his hands over Kili's thighs. "Let's hope the authorities will   continue to look the other way for a while longer. The good thing is that a lot of influential people come here. Businessmen, doctors, judges, politicians, even royalty. It protects us in a way. God you look absolutely stunning," he utters, groaning softly as he feels himself harden as he touches Kili up.

Kili stirs at Thorin’ s touches. “As do you, my love. You are the best looking thing in this place,” he moans and kisses Thorin’s neck biting a little mark into his skin. “And you are all mine,” he  smiles running his hand into his dark locks. “ My perfect gentleman.”

Thorin pulls Kili further into his embrace at they watch another performer take the stage. "Would you like something to eat?" he asks, rubbing Kili's back with his large hands. "They do platters of all sorts of food here."

Kili can feel his stomach grumble. "Yes please, handsome," he replies, giving him a kiss as he watches the performance. _Miss Fanny is so much better!_ He watches as Thorin leaves and smiles to himself. _This was an great idea._ Just then he feels eyes bore into him and looks around the room to find a pair of brown eyes looking at him.

The gentleman smiles and walks over to the table smiling. “ What is a pretty little thing doing all sat on his own?” The middle aged man with grey hair asks sliding into the seat beside him and taking a sip of his drink.

Kili begins to shuffle awkwardly. _What do I do?_ he asks himself, taking a sip of his drink. “I’m not, my companions have gone to get drinks,” he replies politely. _Act like you belong!_

The middle aged man eyes the brunet up and down grinning and moves his hand to stroke Kili’s leg. “What is your name, gorgeous?” he asks, licking his lips as he moves his hand high.

 _I do not like this!_ Kili looks around the gentlemen’s club  for his lover finding him chatting to someone at the bar. _Hurry up! just come back! he panics and gulps. “_ I...I'm am Kili,” he replies, taking a huge mouthful of his champagne.

“That’s a gorgeous name,” the grey haired gent smiles. _You are a beautiful little thing. I bet a virgin too!_

"Excuse me, darling, but this space is taken," Thranduil swats the unwanted guest with his folded up fan. "Thank you for keeping my Kili company, now off you go, chop chop," he urges the man to move away, the threat in his eyes evident enough even if his words are sugared.

The middle aged man get up, then takes Kili’s hand and brings it up to his lips, placing a kiss onto it. “I shall speak to you later, little one,” he purrs and moves back to his table.

“Like hell you will,” Fanny hisses after him. “Dirty old bugger,” he mumbles to Kili, giving him a sweet smile.

“Thank you” Kili says to Thranduil, breathing a huge sigh of relief. “That man was making me feel rather uncomfortable.” He gives a nervous laugh as he feels the colour return to his face.

"Now listen to me, darling," Thranduil makes himself comfortable. "You are very cute and are going to get a lot of unwanted attention in a place like this. So you're going to have to learn to put the nasty men in their place," he winks at Kili.

Kili nods then looks at the grey haired man with unease as he continues to look at him like he is a piece of meat. “ He belongs in a place like Ma Molly’s,” he says quietly, trying to ignore the gaze of the creepy man.

"I have no doubt he takes custom there as many here do. Don't forget that so did your sugar daddy, little Kee," he flutters his long eyelashes. "Before he found you to warm his bed at night.

Kili tries to not think of that. _Thorin is not like the men that go there he is different!_ But he nods to show he had listened. “So what are you singing later?” he asks, trying to change the subject away from Thorin’s visits to the whorehouse.

 _"_ What songs do you know, cutie? I can sing whatever you like!"

“ Um I don't know many songs. How about…. O Fairest of the Rural Maids?” he asks, thinking of the song his mother used to sing.

Thranduil thinks about this for a moment, trying to remember the tune. It's not the sort of song he normally sings, but ... "I can make it work," he nods in the end. "So, I was right about the wedding ring then," he says smugly. "Aren't you the lucky one."

Kili beams. “I am lucky, very lucky. He’s put up with a lot making me his lover,” he admits drinking the last of his champagne.

Thranduil smiles. "You clearly make him happy. I like to see him smile. He's always so serious. But you bring out his playful side."

“He deserves to be happy. Thorin is a good man and gorgeous too as you full well know,” he laughs, giving the blond a grin. _I want to dislike you but I can’t,_ he adds in his head.

 

Thranduil groans at that, "Don't tease me with what you took from me," he exclaims dramatically, but with a hint of mockery and without malice.

Kili laughs. “Sorry, miss Fanny,” he smiles as he sees Thorin return to the table with a bottle of wine and three glasses. “Miss Fanny here is my protector,” he jests, accepting a kiss from his beloved.

"Oh howcome?" Thorin corks the bottle and begins to pour out the wine.

"Your little gem is not just catching your eye, darling," Thranduil smiles smugly. "You should be keeping a closer eye on your treasures. But don't worry, I've looked after your Kili for you. As I always do,” he reminds Thorin of the many times he had been sent chasing after the youngster in the past few months.

Kili laughs and kisses his beloved on the lips. “Don’t worry, my love, you are the only one for me,” he promises knowing Thorin’s temper and jealousy full well.

Thorin looks from Kili to Thranduil, who just waves his long sleek fingers in a dismissive fashion. "Thank you. Why, a toast to great company!" he raises his glass.

“ To us!” Kili says clinking his glass with his lover and friend.

“I saw Gandalf today,” Thorin says to his friend, sipping his wine.

“Oh, how is he?” Thranduil asks with a smile. “Did you see Saruman too?”

Thorin shakes his head. “No, we met in the Courts. Saruman is still not in the best of health, but I have given our regards.”

Thranduil nods, feeling a little guilty he had not been to see either of the two older men for some time.

Kili looks at his beloved. “Who is Saruman?” he asks taking a gulp of his drink. “We are going to dinner at Gandalf’s house and so are you Fanny.”

Thranduil blinks at Kili and then begins to laugh softly. ‘Am I now?” He looks to Thorin for confirmation.

“Yes, they are throwing a dinner party on Friday and Gandalf insists you will come too.” He turns to Kili. “Saruman is Gandalf’s long-term partner. They have been a couple since the dawn of time,” he chuckles.

“Oh,” Kili replies, then thinks about this and smiles. “Do you think we'll be together until the end of time?” he asks grinning. “We will be old and sat in rocking chairs on the porch in Erebor shouting at each other because we can't hear what the other has said,” he jests smiling happily.

Both Thranduil and Thorin chuckle at the picture that Kili has painted.

“I sure hope that we will be,” Thorin smiles and then pulls Kili in for a long, deep kiss, only to let go when Thranduil coughs softly reminding them that although they may do this here in the club, it is still somewhat uncalled for when you have company sat twiddling their thumbs. “Apologies, my friend,” Thorin says quite insincerely.

“Uhuh,” Thranduil snorts, then turns back to their earlier subject. “You asked Gandalf about Elrond?”

“I did. Sounds like he’s been a reckless fool if you ask me. There are plenty of places to take a flyer in the city that are fairly safe. Why take a rent boy to any old pub?” He shrugs, taking another sip of his wine. “Anyhow, Gandalf felt it was a one off incident, nothing to get unnecessarily worried about. Although I cannot help but wonder how an incident of caudling ends up on the front page of the papers. Not normally something the city wants to shout about. They would rather deny the very existence of sodomites than talk about the enforcement of the law.”

Kili listens with fascination to his lover and his friend talk. “How will Elrond be punished?” he asks quietly and takes another gulp of champagne “ I think it is a stupid law,” he says sternly “ Why should people be punished for being in love.”

Thranduil smiles at the youngster. “I don’t think you will find anyone here disagreeing with you on that. However, until the day comes when we have the majority vote, what any of us think is by the by.” And he wonders if such a day might ever come. He has to believe that it will. He knows that in ancient times the love between two men was as accepted as it was between a man and a woman. It is just an interpretation of the times, but he has to have faith in mankind to one day see sense that it is preposterous to treat love between two people as a crime equal to rape and murder. He shakes his head, making the feathers on his head bounce as he downs his glass and refills it.

Thorin nods in agreement with his American friend. He turns to Kili to answer his question. “Well, it depends on the strength of the evidence,” he explains as the man of the law that he is. “If it is a mere accusation of attempted indecency then he will get between three and ten years. But if Gandalf meant what he said, that he was caught _in the act_ …” he shakes his head. “At least he won’t hang for it,” he tries to look on the bright side.

Kili can feel his jaw drop. “You mean they will lock him up for life?” he splutters placing his drink down on the table and feeling himself pale. “That poor man.”

“Potentially. The minimum sentence is ten years,” Thorin says, feeling the pain in Kili’s eyes stab his heart. “Anyway, tonight we are here to celebrate our love, not to think about the consequences of the outside world finding out about it. Here,” he indicates the room with his hand, “we should not have to fear. To Mother Clap!” he raises a new toast, already feeling a little merry.

Kili raises his glass draining it in one he feels himself begin to get light headed with his alcohol intake and leans his head on his beloved’s shoulder “ You are comfy."

Thranduil takes off his feathered hat and shuffles his chair over, resting his head on the Englishman's other shoulder. "I concur," he purrs.

Thorin chuckles. "You're both very cute, " he flatters. "And very merry."

Kili giggles. “You should be a pillow,” he jokes running his hand through his beloved's hair. “You like it when I am merry,” Kili says, giving Thorin a cheeky grin.

Thorin feels himself blush as Thranduil begins to giggle. "Thorin likes his lovers pliant," he teases a finger down Thorin's neck. "Shame he can't always handle the drink himself... "

Kili giggles. “I agree. We had a rather wild ride in Erebor,” he says, then can feel himself both blush and stir at the memory of the dining table.

"Kili!" Thorin utters in shock at Kili's revelation, feeling his face flush in earnest now.

"Oooooh?!" Thranduil sits upright and looks at the two lovers. "Indulge me! What tricks did you teach our little Kili?"

"No," Thorin shakes his head. "A gentleman never tells, remember!" he scolds his friend and throws Kili a warning look.

Thranduil shrugs and smiles cheekily at the teenager. "I am not a gentleman and neither is Kili," he grins. "You'll just have to close your ears, darling."

Kili hesitates, but in his merry state grins. “Mr Oakenshield here took me against a table with Mister Balin asleep at the same table.”

Thorin flushes even brighter and puts his hand over Kili's mouth. "You naughty boy!" he whispers in his ear.

"Sounds to me like _you_ are the naughty one!" Thranduil chuckles. "You're a very bad boy, Thorin." Then he looks to Kili. "Have you had a ménage à trois yet?" he asks innocently, ignoring his older friend's sputtering. "Oh look, here is food! Saved by the bell!" he laughs out loud, winking thickly at Thorin who has gone such a bright shade of red that even the dim lighting and his dark beard do not cover it.

 _What is a manaje a whatever?_ Kili feels his stomach grumble and his jaw drops at the delicious looking food. “This looks wonderful,” he says, sniffing the air as it is placed into the centre of the table. Once the waiter is gone he look at Thranduil. “What is that?” he asks, helping himself to a warm bread roll.

Thorin nearly spits out the canapé he had picked up and looks to his American friend. "Why, since you raised the subject, you may well explain," he smirks.

Thranduil throws his old lover a challenging look and then grins at Kili. "Well … _trois_ is French for three,” he shrugs casually, helping himself to the little cheese puffs. “So let’s say it freely translates to something like fun for three,” he grins cheekily, watching Kili’s reaction as the penny drops.

“ You mean….. that actually happens?” Kili splutters his face turns bright red and he can feel his eyes bulge from his head “ you are having me on “ he says taking a sip from his glass _He has got to be joking._

Thranduil claps his hands together in glee. "He's so cute and innocent!" he beams at Thorin.

Thorin looks at his beloved, finding his big brown eyes looking back at him for  reassurance. "Just eat your dinner, Kili. And ignore Miss Fanny, who has clearly had too much to drink. "

Kili picks up a piece of chicken striping the flesh from its bone. “But is she having me on?” he asks Thorin unsure if to push the subject further. _Sounds weird three men!_ Yet he can’t help feel a little intrigued and if he is truly honest turned on.

"No I'm not having you on," Thranduil purrs before Thorin can respond. "Three, four, some would say the more the merrier!"

"Thranduil!" Thorin growls.

"What?" the American smiles sweetly. "Don't pretend you're all innocent, darling, " he pushes Thorin's boundaries gently.

Kili watches his lover and friend exchange. “ And… have either of you had one?” he asks, putting down the piece of chicken and gulping as he hardens more.

"Can't we just eat and watch the performance?" Thorin grumbles.

"Oooh, I think our Kili is up for it," Thranduil teases.

“ I am not drunk enough yet,” he jests even though his body is already reacting to Thranduil’s words. _Am I actually considering this?_

"Why then have another," Thranduil squeals in laughter as he fills Kili's glass to the brim.

Thorin gives Kili a sidelong glance. _Is he just playing along or is he actually considering this?_ He feels himself break into a sweat at the idea alone, a mixture of jealous possessiveness at the thought of anyone touching either of his lovers other than him and the sweet pulse of arousal of having two such gorgeous creatures in his bed... _Surely not!_ He remembers the raging argument he had had with Kili because he had been jealous of his history with Thranduil. _Truly I cannot imagine that he … Would he?_ He knows Thranduil would not hesitate and he makes sure to avoid eye contact with the American, although he can feel those clear blue eyes bore into him as he busies himself with his food.

Kili notes his love’s sign of arousal instantly and takes a large sip from his glass. _Does he want this? Or would he be angry because I am reacting to the idea? But then so is he!_ “If that is what you want my love,” he says in a whisper. _Ma would have a fit if she knew_ he has to suppress a little giggle at this thought.

Thranduil senses the look that the dark haired Englishman is giving him. "I think I’ll get ready for my final set now," he grins and wipes his hands on his napkin before gathering up his skirts. “Don’t forget to powder your nose, little one. You wouldn’t want to be in the limelight standing to attention little soldier,” he smirks to Kili and makes for the dressing room behind the little stage before Thorin has a chance to tell him off for his indecency.


	50. ... and Play

Thorin stares after his dressed up friend and then lowers his gaze to his hand thumbing the stem of his glass, quite unsure what had just happened.

“Thorin do you want this?” Kili asks again, grabbing his hand. “Is this what you want?” he finds himself saying, giving him a reassuring smile.

"No," Thorin shakes his head and looks up to his beloved. "Thranduil had no right to suggest that." But he cocks his head slightly when he sees the sparkle in Kili's eyes that he knows all too well. "Unless  ... Do you? " he asks, genuinely surprised.

Kili finds himself nodding with a smile. “Could be fun!” _Goodness, did I just admit I like this idea?_  He can feel his face blush crimson.  “I'm up for It if you are, my love,” he says, draining his glass.

Thorin suddenly becomes aware that he's gawping at Kili. "You... you are up for it?" he lowers his voice as he brings his mouth close to Kili's ear. "Let me be really clear.... You understand what Thranduil is suggesting? You want to have _sex_ with me _and him_? Together?"

Kili gulps. “Only if you want to as well,” he says in a whisper.

"Oh fuck... " Thorin blows out his breath, feeling himself wobble on his chair as his cock strains in interest against the fabric of his breeches. He grabs the bottle of champagne and fills his glass,  taking a deep tug.

Kili grins at his lovers reaction. “I will take that as a _yes_.”

"Kili, I don't understand," Thorin grabs his wrist and looks intensely at him. "Only the other night did you run off because you were jealous of my history with Thranduil. Now you want to invite him into our bed?!" _Is this a trick question? Is he testing my loyalty?_

Kili smiles “ I know you are loyal to me now,” he says, holding up his beautiful wedding ring. “This means something to the both of us. I trust you with all my heart,” he looks into Thorin’s gorgeous eye’s. “And I find the prospect of the three of us stirring.” he can feel himself reddening at his confession and averts his eyes to the table.

"Goodness," Thorin mutters. "If you're sure... " _I need more wine for this!_ he thinks to himself and holds the bottle out to Kili.

“Fill me up,” the brunet slurs holding out his glass.

_Oh we will, my love,_ Thorin can't help but smirk as he empties the bottle in Kili's glass and then turns back to the stage as his friend greets the audience for his second set.

Kili can feel a blush creep over his neck and can suddenly feel himself getting giggly. _I'm going to have sex not only with my gorgeous beloved but his best friend I must be crazy._

_+++_

Kili clutches on to both Thorin and Thranduil’s arm as they walk down the streets towards Thorin’s room, both him and Thranduil singing merrily.

“Oh fairest of the rural maids!

Thy birth was in the forest shades;

Green boughs, and glimpses of the sky,

Were all that met thine infant eye.

 

Thy sports, thy wanderings, when a child,

Were even in the sylvan wild;

And all the beauty of the place

Is in thy heart and on thy face”

 

"Enough!" Thorin grumbles at his companions. "If you two would just behave until we get to my chambers. Or we'll have all of Scotland Yard over us and the club!"

Thranduil rubs himself up against Thorin like a hungry cat. "We'll be good, darling. Oooh we could be a perfect little family, you the grumpy husband, me the beautiful wife of course and Kili our little love child!"

"In view of your earlier proposal, please don't say that again!" Thorin frowns at his lover.

Kili giggles. “I am the pretty young one, with the gorgeous hair,” Kili sniggers. “I'm Thorin’s Ant.. oh I can’t say it... anyway I'm his little god”.

"You are," Thorin feels a warmth spread from his heart. "You are my lovely Antinuos."

"Aaaaw, that's so romantic!" Thranduil grins. "Who'd have thought you'd be such an old romantic. You're such a sweetheart under all that tough demeanor."

“He is. Thorin is my beautiful, incredibly handsome gentleman and I loooooove him!” Kili giggles, feeling himself sway a little. “He’s a big cuddly pussy cat and he is good in bed too. He's a stallion”.

Thorin can feel himself flush in embarrassment, but equally feels his ego rubbed too.

"A stallion indeed," Thranduil chuckles. "And we all want a ride tonight."

"Oh Lord," Thorin coughs, thinking he won't last until they get home if his suitors keep up their teasing.

Kili begins to hum as they walk familiar streets, keeping his arms linked with the two older men , The closer they get to his room the more he stirs _this is going to be fun!._

Thorin stops his two companions as they near Gray’s Inn. “Kili, can you go ahead and open up. Thranduil and I will follow. I don’t want to rouse any suspicion with the guard house. And Miss Fanny here can pass as my lady friend,” he winks at the American.

Kili grins. “Yes of course, I’ll make us all a nightcap,” he says and stumbles into the little alleyway that leads to the courtyards beyond, humming again.

Thorin watches his beloved disappear around the corner, swaying slightly, and he hopes he does not get stopped by the night guard. He turns to the American when Kili is out of sight. “I am up for this,” he says, trying to be quite serious despite his fuzzy mind. “But if at any point Kili changes his mind, the deal is off. Understood?”

Thranduil looks deep into Thorin’s eyes and nods. “You are such a charmer,” he jests. “No wonder we are all gagging to get under the sheets with you,” he whispers in his ear, but as Thorin keeps a straight face he relents. “Understood,” he huffs, playing on his Miss Fanny act as hooks arms with his lover. “We are going to have great fun!” he smiles as they round the corner also.

Thorin is relieved to find Kili already gone and he nods at the night guard who politely taps the brim of his hat in return but otherwise pays them no interest. Fanny leans heavily on him, tripping over his own feet as the alcohol has taken its toll on the American also. But he knows that Thranduil will have moderated his intake enough not to fail them tonight.

He leads his lover towards the second courtyard where his apartment is situated and nods to the doorman who holds the door open for the barrister and his lady friend. “Evening, Mr Oakenshield,” he smiles curtly, keeping his professional mask in place.

Thorin nods but does not hang around to make small talk, instead leading his lover down the hall and up the stairs to his apartment at surprising speed.

Kili smiles as the door opens. He is lying on the sofa with a generous amount of green fairy in his hand and a smoke hanging out of his mouth. “Hello handsomes,” he purrs.

Thorin raises an eyebrow at the display, but Thranduil just bursts out laughing. “You look like a dandy,” he calls out to Kili and drags him to his feet to sways around the round as if they are dancing to some waltz.

Kili giggles as he moves around the room with the American, but finds himself tripping over his feet. “Yeah, I am not good at the whole gentleman dancing thing,” he says as he flies into Thranduil’s arms when he stumbles again.

Thorin watches his two lovers giggle as they fall onto the sofa together and pours himself a brandy, feeling the warmth of the alcohol add to his already risen body temperature. “You are beautiful,” he says in a voice deep with want as he takes off his bowtie and unbuttons the top of his shirt.

Kili looks at his beloved and grins. “Which one of us?” he asks, getting to his unsteady feet, walking over to him and placing a kiss on his chest. “You wanted to unwrap me earlier, well now’s your chance,” he purrs and licks his face.

Thorin chuckles and pulls at the bow in Kili’s hair, letting his locks fall in waves along his face. “Mmm, delicious,” he grins. “You are _both_ beautiful …” he traces his hand down Kili’s side, letting it rest on his hip. “I am the luckiest man alive.”

Thranduil gets up from the sofa too and walks up to the other two men, running his hand down in the same motion as Thorin on Kili’s other side, keeping the teenager in between the two of them as he whispers into his ear. “Don’t ever let him forget that.”

“I won't,” Kili replies. He can feel Thranduil’s breath on his his neck. He moves his hand down to feel in between Thorin’s legs and gulps. “Aren't I the lucky one!” he says, leaning back against Thranduil.

“Yes you are, little Kee,” Thorin purrs, taking Kili’s mouth and running his tongue around in it. He moves his hands onto Thranduil’s hips, feeling the thick material of his skirts as he pulls him hard against Kili, pressing the teenager’s sleek body between them. “You still want this, little one?”

“Yes!” Kili pants feeling his heart pound against his chest and and excitement course through his veins. _This was a good idea scratch that an amazing idea._ He crushes his lips against Thorin’s lips, pushing his tongue into his heat.

Thorin feels Thranduil’s hands starting to unbutton Kili’s shirt and feels for the button of the youngster’s slacks. As he breaks the kiss and moves his lips to Kili’s neck, Thranduil tilts Kili’s head back and presses his lips against his.

  _I have only ever kissed Thorin and Fili before!_ Kili suddenly realises as Thranduil explores his mouth with his tongue. He finds it so different from his bearded love; it feels odd having no hair rub against his face. He can feel Thranduil's tongue fight for dominance as he relaxes into the kiss whilst his beloved bites a mark into his neck and moves his hand  to touch his hair.

Between them and in between their kisses with Kili the two older men manage to dispose of Kili's clothes until he stands between them in just his socks and cottons.

"You'll catch a cold," Thranduil grins.

"Yes, unless we can get you warmed up," Thorin adds as he cups Kili's privates.

Kili lets out a groan as he feels his love grab his bits. “Oh goodness,” he moans, suddenly aware that his clothes had been removed. _They're ... god damn they're good!_ he thinks as he can feel Thranduil at his back again.

The American stifles a gasp as he runs his hand down Kili’s back, feeling the scarred skin. He takes a step back and looks at the marks left there by the man he had met before Christmas and feels his heart break for the young man. _He did not deserve that. No living being deserves that!_

He exchanges a quick glance with Thorin who conveys to him not to mention it. Kili is conscious enough of the damage his father had left on him and although his brother had done a marvellous job and the wounds had healed miraculously well after he had removed the stitches, he knew that his lover would always bear the marks of those barbaric acts.

Thorin takes Kili's hand and leads him back to the sofa, where he pulls him onto his lap, rubbing his chest and the inside of his thighs. "My beautiful Antinuos,” he grins, placing sloppy kisses down his neck before turning his attention to their other lover. “Strip, Miss Fanny," he orders with a wicked grin on his face. "Show our Kili that you are a real man underneath all those skirts."

Kili gulps as he stares at Thranduil removing his wig revealing his own natural blond hair underneath. He can feel all his senses being used at once and lets out a gasp as Thorin begins to stroke his genitals. Thranduil tugs at his skirts removing them teasingly slowly while Kili’s eyes follow every moment with hunger.

"Isn't he gracious," Thorin nibbles at Kili's ear as his hand slides into his cottons and strokes the hot hardness he finds inside.

Thranduil slowly steps out of the many layers of skirts and then slowly unbuttons the tiny buttons of his green bodice, finally leaving him in just his boots, his stockings, knickers and tightly laced corset. "Want to help me out here, Kili," he smiles wantonly as he walks up to Kili and his lover, indicating the intricate lacing on his back.

Kili nods and reaches for the corset. _I have no idea!_ he realises staring at the cream laces and fumbling with the garment nervously aware he must be making a fool out of himself at his lack of knowledge of how to undo the under garment.

"Just pull at the bow," Thranduil encourages and sighs in relief when the torturous pressure on his ribcage is released.

“How can you breath?” Kili asks astounded as he looks at the bodice feeling curiosity flood through him _wonder what it feels like wearing something like this!_

“Oh this is nothing, little prince,” Thranduil smiles as he takes off his boots. “The real ladies are able to lace their petite waists much tighter. But it takes some getting used to,” he acknowledges. “And a lady must remember never to leave her home without her smelling salts,” he grins, stepping in between Kili and Thorin’s spread legs and pointing his prize goods at them.

Kili runs his hands over the matching knickers and pulls, revealing Thranduil's jewels and crown. _He’s big!_ he thinks licking his lips. “My compliments,” he moans as Thorin rubs his slit.

"A fine man indeed," Thorin rumbles. "You want to touch, Kili?" he breaths hotly in his ear.

Kili reaches for the blond's sword running it along the palm of his hand, he moves his hand along the length the same way Thorin is doing to him which causes the blond to let out a groan which he follows with one of his own.

"You have a gentle touch," Thranduil smiles, bucking his hips up into Kili's fist.

Thorin feels his body tingle as he watches his lovers play and touch. "Come," he beckons the blond. "Take care of my Kili as I undress." _One of the blessings of three, there's always another hand to follow on with pleasure,_ he smiles to himself.

Kili lets out a groan as his lover lets go of his throbbing prick but finds his hand instantly replaced by the blond's. Thranduil slowly moves his hand along his length teasingly slow making him squirm and buck his hips into the air.

Thorin had felt great concern about how he would feel seeing Thranduil and Kili together all the way as they walked back from the club. But now seeing them entwined like this before him he finds himself highly charged by the pure eroticism of it. As if their display is just for him, a private show like a dirty book to read in the privacy of his bedroom. And he feels his prick weep into his cottons as he hastily disposes of his clothes.

Kili  smiles, feeling his eyes darken with lust as he looks at his gorgeous beloved. _I am so lucky._ “You look as beautiful as ever my stallion,” he purrs then gives out a little moan as Thranduil massages his balls also.

Thorin crawls back onto the sofa and begins to stroke whatever flesh he can get his hands on, smoothly running from one body to another as they quickly become a tangled mess of limbs. "Will you two join me in my bedroom?" he utters eventually as he is achingly hard and horny for the both of them.

Kili looks at his beloved his eyes trailing down his body resting on his hardened shaft and nods. "Yes, let’s go to the bedroom,  more room there," he pants, grasping hold of Thorin's hand who pulls him from the sofa. He turns around and holds his own out to the blond.

Thranduil obligingly lets himself be dragged to the familiar room, although the scent now combines the muscular scent of his lover that he is used to as well as a new aroma of the younger man.

Thorin doesn't hesitate to pull both naked men on the bed with him, instantly taking their manhoods in his large hands. "What a treat... " he groans as he strokes the two of them simultaneously, both feeling familiar and yet different.

Kili lets out a groan as he bucks his hips, shifting his hardness into his beloved’s skilled hands, hearing similar noises coming from the American. “Thats amazing, Thorin,” he pants, feeling for his lover’s cock and taking it in hand.

"How do you want to play, darling?" Thranduil purrs, knowing full well that Thorin is ultimately in charge and he would not dare assume he is allowed to do anything with Kili unless it's at his authorisation.

Thorin looks from the blond to his young brunet lover and smiles lovingly at Kili. "Kiss me," he whispers.

Kili brings his lips to Thorin’s, brushing them together in a gentle kiss. He moves his hand up to cup his love’s face and slowly slicks his tongue into Thorin’s mouth.

"My lovely one," Thorin murmurs. He feels Thranduil's hands stroking his thighs interchanged with little kisses as he exchanges tongue play with Kili. The intimacy of this is whirling around in his head like a storm. "What do you want from us?"

Kili grins. “You can do what you want with me, my love. I am yours,” he states, looking into Thorin’s beautiful eyes.

"You are not my possession, Kili," Thorin says seriously. "I would never treat you as such. I want this to be for your pleasure as much as mine or Thranduil's. Here we are all equals."

Kili nods. “Make me feel extreme pleasure my love, make me forget my name.”

Thranduil grins, exchanging a heated glance with the Englishman. “This is going to be a long night,” he whispers with a wicked smile around his lips, tracing down Thorin’s neck as he looks at Kili through hooded eyes.

Thorin feels a shiver run down his spine and groans as he feels the brush of practised hands against his privates. "Do you want to feel us both?" he asks Kili carefully.

Kili nods again. “Yes Thorin, I do," he pants and places Thranduil's hand in this also as he watches the blond pleasure his beloved. He turns back to Thorin. “I love you and trust you”.

Thorin nods and beckons his American lover closer. "You take such good care of me my friend," he kisses his lips. "Take care of my Kili too."

Thranduil smiles and moves to the youngster's other side, gently trailing his long fingers over the boy's chest. "You're beautiful," he whispers against softly in his ear.

Kili lets out a little whimper. _I feel so safe, so desired,_ he thinks as he feels the warmth of Thranduil's hands against his skin. “As are you.”

Thorin leans himself back against the headboard, leisurely stroking himself as he watches Thranduil touch his young lover. The American is not shy in the bedroom, but he is a gentler lover than he is, he knows. And he finds him running his long fingers so tenderly along Kili’s skin incredibly arousing.

“You are such a pretty little thing,” Thranduil whispers, moving himself behind Kili now, exchanging glances with Thorin across the youngster’s shoulder. "I cannot wait to feel what special treat you have between those soft cheeks of yours.” He brushes ever so gently between Kili’s cheeks, only faintly teasing his special place, before he moves his hand again.

Kili groans, feeling desire rush through his veins and bucks his hips against Thranduil’s long fingertip only to find him pull back. He looks up at Thorin through glassy eyes and can see a hunger across his face as he watches the blond tease his body. He lets out a moan as he feels Thranduil bite against his neck.

“So eager,” Thranduil nibbles at the youngster’s soft skin. “You like Thorin looking at you like that, don’t you little Kee? All lust and need for you, his cock weeping for that little hole of yours?”

“Yes!” Kili pants moving his hand up to the blond’s hair and running his hands through his locks as his cheeks burn scarlet. “Love my hole being filled.”

Thorin groans loudly, fisting himself more vigorously as his desire burns hot. “Oblige him,” he nods to Thranduil. “Give that hungry mouth something to nibble on.”

Thranduil bites his lip and offers Kili his middle finger to suck on. “Nice and wet, little one,” he orders huskily.

Kili slowly sucks the digit into his mouth locking his eyes with the blond and bobs his head along the length of his finger, gently biting the tip with his teeth. He feels frustrated at the slow pace and ups the speed as he feels his cock twitch with anticipation as lust pulses through his veins.

Thranduil chuckles softly and looks at Thorin, relishing the sight of his older lover splayed out and pulling at his cock for them both. “You must have quite your hands full with this little horny plaything of yours,” he grins as he removes his finger from Kili’s hungry mouth and moves it to his other eager opening. “Relax,” he whispers in the youngster’s ear and without further ado pushes the tip of his finger into that heat.

Thorin sucks in his breath as he watches the subtle shift in Kili’s features when his entrance is treated to this first gentle penetration. They have never played this slowly before, taken such time before he had filled his young lover up and it is making him break out into a sweat watching Thranduil tease.

Kili lets out a frustrated moan. “More, I can take more,” he orders panting at Thranduil’s gentle touch and bucks his hips this time successful as he feels himself proper breached by the blond but feels the finger still. “Move” he pleads.

Thorin can take Kili’s shameless begging no more and frowns as Thranduil’s raises eyebrows. “Come here,” he orders the both of them, shuffling himself down a little.

“Go on, little one, lay yourself down in your gentleman’s arms,” Thranduil encourages and he moves in unison with the brunet, keeping his finger largely where he had placed it, enjoying Kili’s little whimpers as the movement stretches him just a little more.

Kili leans himself against Thorin, the usually feelings of warmth and love rush through him as Thorin places a kiss against his neck. The brunet wiggles his backside letting out a frustrated moan at the lack of stretch to his hole. “Please, I can take it.”

“I know you can,” Thorin smiles proudly and he sucks his fingers into his mouth before he entwines them with his friend, who has laid himself on Kili’s other side, keeping the youngster between them. ”There you go, my sweet Kee,” he encourages as he pushes his finger in next to Thranduil’s, together offering Kili the simultaneous intrusion he had been begging for.

Kili lets out happy sigh.  "Thank you,” he pants as both fingers move inside his tight heat. _This feels weird but good,_ he thinks as he can feel them thrusting slowly in and out of him. “So good,” he groans leaning his head against Thorin and smiling at the blond.

"Good, my darling," Thorin kisses him in the little dip between his neck and shoulder. "Just relax, my beautiful one. “We're going to make you really really relaxed and spread you wide, gorgeous." He catches his other lover whose eyes are glinting with heat as he feels the stroke of his finger brush against his own inside the warmth of Kili's channel.

Kili can feel his prick bounce against his stomach and moves his hand to it, stroking along it to the tip. His fingers feel slick with his own natural juices, sweat pours down his face and he feels his hair stick to his cheek. He leans towards Thranduil and places a kiss along his neck.

"Thank you for letting me play," Thranduil purrs running his free hand through Kili's hair, whilst pressing himself against Kili's thigh. They are in tune as he watches Thorin do the same. They have been lovers for so long that they don't need words to guide each other. And soon Kili finds himself stretched further as two sets of two fingers scissor his behind, touching all those hypersensitive nerve endings.

_I feel so full, but so good!_ he lets out a groan as his two companions move their fingers around his walls. Suddenly he lets out a loud cry as Thorin brushes his finger over his pleasure core and begins to pant as pleasure rushes through his body. “Thats amazing, so good!” he moans, panting for breath.

Thranduil grins at Thorin. "Did you find Kili's sweet spot there, gorgeous?"

Thorin flushes. "How do I tell? What spot?" Any fingering they'd done had only been for the simple purpose of preparation for the main event and he had never looked at it as a sexual act on its own. But Kili seemed to love it.

"Let me try," Thranduil grins and curves his fingers against Kili's front wall.

“Yes, just there!” Kili cries, biting his lip. “That’s so good. You are both so good!” he wails.

"I need to try that," Thorin smirks at the American. "Have you tried that?" Thranduil actually blushes which throws Thorin because he is never fazed by anything. "You dirty nancy," he grins and wraps his hand around his young love's prick.

Kili takes a huge gasp as he feels two hands snake around his manhood. “Oh Christ ...” he utters as his body gives an excited spark. He can feel his orgasm fast approaching. “ I’m going to fetch.” he pants.

Thranduil seeks Kili’s lips, loving those swollen lips. He totally understands now how these two fit so well together, so similar are they in their untamable lust. He licks his tongue over that soft mouth, keeping his eyes open as he watches Kili flush even more.

Kili can feel his cheeks burning as both his lovers take it in turns to tease against his sweet spot, moving their fingers away before his peak approaches. _I need to spill, my god, I need to!_ he lets out a frustrated moan against Thranduil’s soft lips and notes his lip curling into a smile.

“What is it, little Kee?” Thranduil purrs heatedly as the teen writhes between them.

“Say it,” Thorin whispers urgently into his ear, licking slowly along the rim of his earshell. “What do you want, Kili? Tell us what you want.”

“I need to spill! Please!” he pleads as one of them brush against the spot again. His body feels wrecked. “Can I fetch?” he sobs now.

Thranduil grins a wicked grin at Thorin. “First one to lose it. What do you say, my darling, is Kili allowed?”

Thorin watches as Kili flicks his head wildly back, pleading with him with those huge brown eyes, hair streaked across his sweaty forehead. “How can I resist those puppy eyes?” he brushes his hand across Kili’s boiling hot cheeks, pressing little kisses all over his face. “Bless us with your seed, little Kee,” he whispers and nods to Thranduil.

The two older men set a steadfast rhythm as they whisper words of encouragement in Kili's ear until his ears burn red from the debauchery that he is sure should not be in these gentlemen's vocabulary.

Kili stones tighten as relief washes through him. He feels a finger to his core and bucks his hips wildly as his essence rushes out of his body all over both gentlemen’s hands. He throws his head back against the Thorin. _Oh my!_ “ Fuck” he pants leaning his head against Thorin's chest as his heart pounds twenty to the dozen. “That was…. Fuck!”

If there was any doubt left in his mind watching Kili become so completely undone between them wipes any remnants of it away. _Beautiful. This is so beautiful._ He showers Kili’s flushed face with little kisses all over and can hear Thranduil do the same on his neck and shoulders. "Beautiful sweet boy," he murmurs, pressing his erection hard against Kili’s body.

"That is gorgeous," Thranduil grins. “You are such treat, sweet little Kee,” he praises the youngster as he carefully removes his fingers to palm at himself, his prick throbbing desperately now.

Kili lets out a moan as he feels Thranduil’s digits slip from his heat, he watches the blond pleasure himself self for a couple of seconds then reaches for his sword “ Allow me” Kili pants, he runs his hands along the blond’s length as Thorin kisses at his chest.

Thranduil grunts in approval. Thorin usually leaves him to take care if that himself so this is quite a treat indeed. And he rests himself back add those soft nimble fingers make him feel these amazing feelings. 

Thorin ruts himself against Kili's hot skin as he watches him pleasure the American. "You want to be filled properly, Kili? " he rumbles against his neck "You want to feel your little hole stretched even more?"

Kili gulps. “Fill me up,” he croaks as he teases at the American’s slit causing him to let out a moan of pleasure. “Stretch me, make me feel good!”

“Oh my …” Thranduil groans softly, as much at the touch as the words. He looks to Thorin expectantly, silently asking him what is to happen next.

Thorin pulls Kili upright into his arms, cuddling and kissing him as he faces him. ”Do you still want this, my lovely one?” he checks one last time before they cross that last boundary. “Would you like Thranduil to indorse you?”

Kili can feel his cheeks burn with want and his cock begin to recover. “Yes, I do,” he admits looking at the blond. “I want to feel you inside of me.”

Again Thorin is surprised to feel lust and heat at hearing those words rather than jealousy. He reaches out to brush Thranduil’s smooth cheek. “Takes good care of my beloved,” he smiles thus giving him permission.

Thranduil smiles first at Thorin and then at Kili, feeling quite overwhelmed for a moment despite his heat. It is quite something to be asked to be part of this very beautiful and intense relationship that these two men have. “Thank you,” he whispers softly, to both of them at once and then gently rolls Kili onto his back, next to Thorin and moves himself slowly on top of him. “I will make you feel so good,” he sighs huskily as he lines himself up, feeling all  his nerve endings prick up.

Butterflies fill Kili’s stomach.  He looks deep into the blond’s eyes and can see anticipation also. He gives him a reassuring smile despite his own nerves. “Fill me,” he orders and cups his face, forcing his body to stay relaxed. He looks to Thorin who is laid beside him and crushes his lips against his.  

Although Thorin was not his exclusive gay lover Thranduil was not much of a sleep around. He did not favour meaninglessness sex and although he did not consider himself to be in love with Thorin, he cared greatly for him.

This feels so different. Kili is so inexperienced at this and yet his love for being with them both is breathtaking. And he truly adores the youngster for it as he opens up to him.

Kili feels Thranduil’s cock head slowly breach him and smiles as he can feel his body accept the stretch, A tingle spreads up his spine as the blond seats himself full inside his body “ That feels amazing!” he pants as his eyes glaze over again, his body feels extra sensitive in his post orgasmic state, despite it already beginning to recover.

"Does he feel good inside you, sweet one?" Thorin asks thickly as his eyes wander down to where his two lovers are now joined. He feels his own body throb with desire and grinds his need against their joined bodies.

“Sogoodfeelssogood!” Kili cries in one mouthful. He moves his hips against Thranduil seeking some sort of friction and gives out a happy moan when the blond moves. _So full but good!_

Thranduil gently begins to roll his hips, trying to entice the teenager to move. It's been a long while since he fucked with someone so eager and Kili's enthusiasm is intoxicating.

Thorin takes kissed Kili’s cheeks and neck before he moves himself up to level his crotch with Kili’s face. "Open wide," he coaches, digging his fingers into Kili's hair as he rubs his cockhead against his swollen lips.

Kili opens his mouth taking his lover’s glistening cockhead into his moist heat. He rolls his hips back against Thranduil whilst licking along Thorin’s shaft. _If there is a heaven I hope it’s like this,_ he thinks to himself feeling his shaft harden again.

Thorin moans as Kili’s mouth enveloped him and is chorused by equally delightful noises from both his partners. _This is so much better than even my dirtiest dreams!_ Kili laps hungrily at him, and when he presses his wicked tongue hard into his slit Thorin actually yelps, "Kili! My, oh my …”

Thranduil grins, pressing a kiss on Thorin’s stomach also and then on Kili’s cheeks. “You are so warm,” he whispers heatedly. “And nice and loose. I think you can take more still ...” he lets the suggestion hang in the air as he looks up to Thorin with invitation written in his eyes.

Thorin takes a shuddering breath as Kili sucks on his prick like a lollipop, taking him even deeper into his mouth and hums around it.

_It is_ n _ow or never_ , he thinks _. I won't last long enough if not now._ He pulls back his wet cock with a sobbed whimper at the loss of such pleasure but bends himself low to press a kiss on those devious lips. “We are going to take you straight to the gates of heaven,” he grins wickedly.

Thranduil takes the queue and rolls himself with Kili in his grip onto his side and then further, so that he lies on his back with the teenager impaled on top of him. “Hello gorgeous," he coos. "You feel so good on my cock, little Kee." And he puts his hands on Kili’s buttocks, pulling slightly apart in an offering to Thorin.

Kili gasps as he feels Thranduil press against his walls “ That’s good, so good!” the brunet moans. “Feel full. So full, but so good!”

“Oh you will be much fuller still, darling,” Thranduil kisses the shell of his ear as he watches Thorin move in between their legs.

Thorin presses his lips against Kili’s boiling hot skin, trailing slowly down to his tailbone. Already the aroma of their joining is driving him crazy and he moves a finger to Kili’s spread cheeks sliding down towards the place where he is joined with the American. And just as Kili shudders Thorin pushes his finger along Thranduil’s sleek cock, to join him in that tight heat.

 Kili lets out a little yelp of surprise as Thorin’s digit joins his heat along side Thranduil’s cock but forces himself to stay relaxed he tries to buck his hips but finds himself sandwiched between his two lovers letting out a moan as Thorin starts to move his finger.

 

“Does that feel good, little one?” Thorin whispers as his other hand rubs slowly along his own throbbing cock.

“Yes, so good!” he Kili his hips into the air and thrusts back down fucking himself on the prick and finger. Thranduil brushes the hair from his face as it sticks over his eyes and plants a kiss to his brow.

“That’s feels nice, Thorin,” Thranduil grinds back as his finger teases his sensitive prick as much as it stretches Kili. “Can you take another, good boy?” he whispers into the youngster’s ear.

Kili nods. “Yes, I can,” he pants leaning his head against Thranduil’s neck. “Can take more.” He moves his hand and settles it on Thranduil's chest to give him extra leverage.

Thorin complies as stretches his young lover further as he rubs his wet cockhead against both his lovers’ jewels. “I am going to take you, little one,” he promises Kili. “If you want. Do you want us both? Tell me if you do.” His voice is raspy from the heat that runs through him now and he silently please for Kili not to change his mind or he surely would combust.

Kili thinks about this for a second, slowing his pace. _Can I really take that much?_ he asks himself. It seems impossible. But he nods slowly as his body fills with desire. “Yes, take me. I can take it,” he pants bucking his hips into Thranduil again. “Take me”.

“You are amazing,” Thranduil praises the youngster. “You will feel fuller than ever, sweet one, but I know you can take it. You are so magnificent.”

Thorin sighs in selfish relief and gently pulls back his fingers, spitting in his hand, trying to lubricate himself a little, before he gently starts to push against Thranduil’s cock, urging him to give way to him inside that channel.

Kili can feel an instant sting, being stretched beyond all imagination as Thorin breaches him. But forces himself to keep quiet, knowing Thorin will stop if he knows he is hurting him. He bites his lip and squeezes his eyes tight shut until he can feel the pain give way to pleasure when his beloved pushes further into him. “ So full, my god, so ful ...l” he whimpers.

Thorin gasps as Kili’s body relaxes and he slides to the hilt into that heat so tight, so intense that he feels dizzy and has to steady himself with his hands on Kili’s clammy back.

“Oh Lord,” Thranduil groans as he is joined by Thorin, feeling his hardness slide against his own and feeling Kili grip the two of them impossibly tight.

Kili wants to scream out in pleasure as he feels his sweet spot is brushed against. “Oh god ...” he gasps “ need to… want to!”

Thorin lowers his body down slowly onto Kili, pressing him onto Thranduil and trapping his his cock between them as the youngster is fully sandwiched. “It’s alright, sweet Kee,” he whispers to his beloved, showering him in kisses. “All you need is your gentlemen to give you pleasure now. Just give in to everything we are giving you.”

Kili’s eyes roll into the back of his head as a wave of pleasure and desire as his breathing becomes raspy. He can feel his orgasm approach and clasps on top of the blonde feeling pressure against his shaft.

“Th-Thorin,” Thranduil whimpers.

“Me too, darling,” Thorin acknowledges the signal the indicates how close his lover is. There is not much space for movement between them,but it requires little friction to tip both of them over the edge.

Kili can feel his body explode as he comes in between both of the men. “So good!” he screams as he feels pressure against his spot inside of him. He can feel his lovers’ loads flood inside of him and pants heavy his balls tighten and he comes heavy onto the blond’s chest..

The sensation of Kili’s chokehold around his member as he bucks up hard against him and the warm flow of his American’s friends release mixing with his own salty juices is such an onslaught on his senses that he feels as if the world is spinning upside down. His heart is beating so fast he can feel it throb in his temples as his deep grunt joins Thanduil’s peaked moans and Kili’s scream of pleasure. _Oh damn, the neighbours must surely by now be wondering what is going on!_ is flits through his head for but a moment before he collapses onto his sweetheart.

Kili pants as he feels his beloved’s weight on his back he can feel the American wrap his arms around him as they become a pile of limbs. “That was ... oh my…..It was amazing … You are both amazing. He can feel his eyes flicker as exhaustion washes over him.  “Tired,” he mutters cuddling into Thranduil with Thorin’s warm embrace wrapped around the both of them..

Thranduil chuckles softly. “I am not surprised little one. Think we are all wasted.”

 “You are incredible, both of you,” Thorin whispers huskily as his voice seems to have totally abandoned him now. “That was … wonderful. More than wonderful.” He buries his face in Kili’s sweat-drenched hair, the smell of their sex hanging heavy around them.

Kili can feel tiredness creep up on him and snuggles close to both his lovers. “Thank you both of of you.” He gives Thranduil a kiss to the cheek then leans back and cups Thorin’s face and pushes their lips together in a tender kiss.

“Sleep now, little one,” Thorin smiles, brushing Kili’s wet strands out of his face, kissing the nape of his neck. “You have done so well.”

Kili nods, laying his head down on the pillow. He grabs his elders’ hands and is asleep in an instant.

Thorin gently raises himself up when Kili’s breathing slow to a soft snore. He grins at Thranduil. “I enjoyed that.”

“Me too, darling,” Thranduil yawns back. “You are a lucky man to have found your Kili.”

“I am a very lucky man to have the both of you,” Thorin smiles happily and rests himself down again, threading his fingers through his lovers’ hands as he drifts off.

 


	51. Violet Lace

Kili wakes up with a jolt, He flicks his eyes open looks around the darkened room. _It was just a dream._ Relief spreads over him. He looks to the left and jolts when he sees a head of blond hair. _Thorin didn’t come for me!_ He lets out a muffled sob and scrambles away from the man as tears roll down his face. When he notes him stirring he lets out a high pitched scream. _What will he want me to do?!_

Two sets of blue eyes flick open simultaneously. “What the ….” Thranduil utters in confused and drowsy shock. For a moment he has no idea where he is or who has screamed. Then memories from last night come back to him and he blinks hard. “Kili? What …?”

But Thorin is used to Kili’s night terrors by now and wraps his arms protectively around him, rocking him softly as he presses kisses on his temple. “Sssh. little one, it’s okay, you are safe, it was just a dream.”

Kili buries his face into Thorin’s chest clinging on tight. “Y-you are here. You came for me,” he sobs, wrapping his arms around him. “Please don’t leave me, never leave me,” he utters, breathing in his beloved’s scent as tears fall from his eye’s onto his lover’s skin.

Thranduil blinks hard at the youngster, pushing himself upright. “Perhaps I should go …” he says softly. _Have I made a mistake? Does Kili regret what happened, what we did, now that the alcohol has worn off?_ he frets.

Kili grabs hold of Thranduil's hand. "No! Please stay. I just got confused where I was," he sniffs, pulling the blond close also.

Thorin looks at the American. “Kili has nightmares,” he explains. He brushes his hand across Thranduil’s cheek and kisses Kili’s shoulder. “But you are safe here, sweetheart. We are here to look after you.”

Thranduil’s nods and wraps his arm around the youngster in a reassuring gesture too. “Yes, safe and loved.”

Kili allows himself to be comforted by both gentlemen, feeling a little embarrassed. _Well least I didn't wet the bed this time._ He suddenly panics and fumbles at the sheets, sighing in relief when they are indeed dry.

+++

“I will have to pick up my other clothes later,” Thranduil grins at his lover. “I am lucky that we are the same size,” he checks the suit that Thorin has lent him. “I don’t think it would go down well turning up to the building site as Miss Fanny.”

Thorin laughs as he lets his eyes run over the American’s frame. _He looks good in my suit!_

“So ehm ... about earlier,” Thranduil drops his voice a little, eyeing the door. He can hear the teen rummage around in the kitchen and turns back to Thorin. “Is Kili coping alright?”

“As expected I guess,” Thorin nods slowly. “Most of the time he is fine. There are just moments that something reminds him. But the worst by far are the nights.” He thinks about the other night when Kili had wet the bed, but does not mention this to his friend. “It has only been a month…” Suddenly he takes a step towards Thranduil and grabs his hand. “Thran, I …” he swallows and lowers his eyes, unsure what he actually wants to say.

“What is it, darling?” Thranduil cocks his head, not letting Thorin’s hand go. “Say what is on your mind, don’t keep everything in all the time.”

Thorin sighs and nods. “Why you know I used to go ehm … there…” he coughs softly. “Do you think … Do the other boys …?”

Thranduil sighs and makes Thorin sit down on the bed. He can see the turmoil written on his best friend’s face, the guilt. _Don’t go there, Thorin._

“Thorin, you know the answer to that. You cannot think about it or it will drive you insane. Move on. Focus on the future. On giving your Kili a better life. And on you being happy.” He strokes Thorin’s cheek softly. “I have never seen you this happy before, darling. And that lad is absolutely head over heels with you!”

Thorin feels his face break into a smile. “Thanks. And I love him, I really do.”

“I know you do. After seeing you two in action last night, I don’t think anyone could doubt just how crazy you are for one another,” Thranduil gives him a thick wink and gets up, followed by Thorin.  

As they walk into the lounge they find Kili shuffle a little uncomfortably.

“I am sorry, little one,” Thorin whispers, giving him a soft kiss on the nose.

Kili smiles. "That's okay," he reassures him, giving his hand a squeeze. He sits on a nearby chair letting out a little hiss as he does. "I am a little bit sore.”

“Aaw, darling, we’re sorry,” Thranduil grins, giving Kili a kiss on his forehead. “Did you have fun though?” he enquires.

Kili nods. "I did. The best," Kili grins. "We will have to do it again.”

Thranduil looks to Thorin with a wicked glint in his eyes. “I think that is a wonderful suggestion. Maybe next time our stallion gets to proof his endurance to us …”

Thorin flushes at the suggestion. “I think you are running late for work, darling,” he grabs the American by his shoulders and steers him out of the lounge.

"Goodbye!" Kili calls after the blond, smiling.

Thorin looks at his friend as they stand together a little awkwardly in the little hallway. He has never felt like this around Thranduil after sex before, but of course he had not expected to find the two of them like this again after Kili has stated his claim to him. “Why ehm … that …”

Thranduil puts his finger on Thorin’s lips. “You don’t have to say it,” he shakes his head, a smile curling around his lips. “I have no expectations. That was always the agreement between us, right? Whatever happens, happens. But we will always be friends.”

Thorin nods, feeling a sense of relief as he hugs his best friend. “I will see you soon.”

He watches as the blond leaves the apartment, dressed as smart as a gentleman should. And he cannot help the smirk that teases his face as he thinks back to how they arrived here last night and what had followed on from that.

When he walks back into the lounge he finds Kili beaming back at him with those gorgeous dark eyes. He kneels before him, taking his hands in his. “Kili, you are so precious to me. I … I hope you are still okay with what happened …”

Kili nods. "It was fun and ... And you?" he asks, feeling his smile drop a little. "Are you okay?“

Thorin smiles and nods. “Better than ever.” He presses his lips against Kili’s. “You are my special and naughty little prince.” He cups Kili’s chin in his large hand. “Thranduil knows it changes nothing. He and I are still friends and you and I are lovers. Right?” he checks, suddenly feeling an unexpected flare of jealousy as he considers a possibility that had up till now not crossed his mind. _What if Kili and Thranduil …._ he shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the stinging thought.

"Thorin you are mine, as I am yours,” Kili instantly reads Thorin’s mind. “I had fun. I would like to do it again even," he admits then brushes his lips against his love’s. "But I love you, you and you alone. Forever." He slips the ring off the chain around his neck and slides it on his finger "You are my love. My king.”

“It takes a very special kind of bond and trust between two people to invite another into their bedroom,” Thorin whispers as he draws Kili to his feet and into an embrace. “You are very special and I trust and love you more than anything in this world.” He brushes the hair out of Kili’s face.

+++

When Kili has finished cleaning he looks around the room which suddenly feels empty without the two older men. Thorin had said he would be out for much of the day and he is beginning to feel bored. _There is nothing to do!_ He walks into the kitchen and finds all the saucepans from breakfast already washed. _Maybe I could bake!_ the teen thinks and opens the cupboards, but he can feel his face fall as he realises he has no ingredients to make anything.

The brunet walks back to the bedroom and picks his shoes up. As he does his eyes lock on the folded up garments of Miss Fanny which had been placed on the back of a wooden chair. He narrows his eyes at the ivory corset. _Can't really be that tight can it?_

He looks around the room nervously as if someone might catch him out and  then quickly walks over to the chair, picking up the garment and holding it up against himself.

_It’s tiny!_

Kili has a sudden urge to try on the item. _No you can’t, don’t be silly! But no one will know; no-one is here!_ he fights an inner conflict but begins to unbutton his shirt when curiosity wins.

He holds the bone made corset to his bare skin. _How do I do up the laces?_ He struggles with the ribbons for a couple of minutes eventually settling for just half of it done up. Next he finds himself picking up all the skirts _there are so many! What order do I put them on? How do lasses do this? How does_ Thranduil _do this?_

 _If he can do this I can!_ the teen thinks, determined, and pulls up the many layers. He moves to the mirror and examines himself. _I look strange!_ He slowly begins twirling trying to see himself in different directions and finds himself grinning at himself in the mirror.

Thranduil’s hand hovers over the door knocker, but he guesses Thorin and Kili are probably out and pulls the key Thorin had given him some time ago from his inside pocket. He had only used it on a handful of occasions, mainly to surprise his lover. But today he has come to return Thorin’s suit after having changed into his own clothes again and take away Miss Fanny’s garments.

He opens the door and steps inside. When he hears a soft humming coming from the bedroom he is startled for a moment and opens his mouth to call out to Kili that it is only him. But he snaps his jaw shut as he hears the teen talk to himself in a high pitched voice.

He slowly, quietly walks towards the bedroom, pushing the door open just a little to peer inside. As his eyes fall upon the youngster a grin spreads across his face. _Well I never, Miss Fanny has certainly left an impression!_ he thinks to himself as he watches Kili check himself out in the mirror, corset laced loosely halfway up, strutting in the skirts he had taken off last night.

He raises a playful eyebrow as Kili bends down to pull on his boots. “Do you need a hand with those?” he asks softly, crossing his arms as he leisurely leans back against the doorpost.

Kili lets out a little yell and whizzes around and feels his cheeks redden. _No-one was supposed to know!_ “I was….. Um ..” He hastily pulls at the skirts but in his hurry finds himself tripping over the material and grabs on to the bed to keep himself up.

“Tut tut,” Thranduil shakes his head with a smile. “You look a mess like that. Were you intending the three-penny-upright-look or do you need some help turning you into a proper lady?”

“I um …” the brunet looks at his feet. “Sorry,” he mutters looking at the blond through his long hair. “I was curious and bored.”

Thranduil takes a couple of strides into the bedroom and seats himself on the edge of the bed, next to the teenager. “Why sorry?” he cocks his head. “Curiosity is not something to be sorry for. If we were not curious then mankind would still be living in caves hunting with badly made spears,” he grins at Kili. He leans forward and pushes his chin up with his sleek hand. “So, what is your name, little lass?”

Kili feels a grin spread across his face as Thranduil is taking it so well and actually appears to approve of him dressing up in Miss Fanny’s clothes. He looks around the room for inspiration when his eyes fix on a picture with violets in it. “Violet I… I am Violet.” _Violet what? I have to have a surname!_ He looks at the boots of Miss Fanny and smiles. “Violet Lace.”  

“Oh!” Thranduil smiles in surprise. “Very fitting. I like that a lot, little Miss Violet Lace.” He gets to his feet and helps Kili up. “And I like these,” he grins as he twirls his finger around one of the little braids in Kili’s hair. “Very cute.”

Kili smiles back realising the blond gentleman is not one bit angry. “A friend lent them to me, the clothes. You might know her, her name is Fanny,” he plays along, feeling more confident. “And my Ma used to plait my hair as a child.”

“It suits you,” Thranduil grins. “And I think Miss Fanny would very much like to have a little lady friend to keep her company every now and again. But this,” he pulls gently at the corset, “needs some work. Turn around, Miss Violet,” he says softly.

Kili does as he is told and feels gentle fingers pull at the back of the corset. “I could not do it myself. How on earth do you do this up on your own?” he asks, dropping character, and bites his lip. “Do you think Thorin would like me like this?”

Thranduil stills his hands, which had begun to loosen the lacing again so that he could redo it properly for Kili. “You will have to show him,” he says neutrally. Suddenly it feels a little  inappropriate, standing here in Thorin’s bedroom with his half naked lover whom he had had some real raunchy sex with the night before. He hopes that if Thorin comes home now he does not get the wrong idea. “I think he would,” he adds as he pulls the cords even. “Deep breaths now.”

Kili gasps in surprise at the tightness. “How to I breath?” he pants as Thranduil pulls it tighter still. “Maybe Miss Fanny can teach me how to walk the walk and talk the talk,” he suggests.

“One thing at a time, little one. I think walking may be a step too far just yet,” he chuckles as he yanks at the bodice again. “And you cannot do this yourself; every lady has a lady’s maid the same as every gentleman has a valet.” He ties the knot in the lacing and then begins to shift the skirts around. Next he helps Kili into the outer bodice and does up the little delicate buttons. “There, now that looks a lot better,” he grins, pushing Kili towards the mirror again. He reaches for his feathered hat and places it on Kili’s head. “All finished young lady”

Kili looks at his reflection jolting in surprise. _I look like a completely different person!_ he thinks, astounded and turns himself a little so he can inspect the back. “And ladies wear all of this all the time?” _How is there not a woman collapsed at every corner?_

“Makes you appreciate the opposite sex a little more, does it not?” Thranduil nods. “Not many men who can even walk in skirts, let alone under the strain of a corset.” He takes a step back, looking Kili’s alterego up and down. “But you, you could pull this off I think. With a little practice and little help from me,” he winks.

“How long have you been dressing as Miss Fanny?” Kili asks walking back to the bed with a shuffle and he carefully sits down next to the blond. “Were you  dressed like that when you first met Thorin?” he asks quietly. _I wonder how long they were sharing the same bed before Thorin and me!_

“I was,” Thranduil says, finding it quite nice to sit here and talk to Kili. “He came to the club about … gosh, six years ago now, and I was performing there as Miss Fanny.”

Kili finds himself feeling happy at this information, for some reason finding Thranduil and Thorin’s past a little easier to accept knowing that Thorin did not fall for him as a man in the first instance. Then he giggles. “Can you imagine Thorin dressed as a lass?” He lets out a snort of laughter at the imagine of Thorin in a dress with a bushy beard.

“No, can you?” Thranduil laughs as well.

Kili shakes his head. “He has not got the youthful lady’s look going for him. More the scary tall man,” he states, shaking his head. “He used to terrify me as a child. I used to run away whenever he would come within speaking distance.”

Thranduil raises an eyebrow at that but then nods. “He can be intimidating when he wants to be. But that is an interesting shift from being scared stiff of him to warming his bed …” he says tentatively. “What made you change your mind?”

Kili thinks back to only a few months ago and is startled at how little time has really passed. “When my mother was alive he always thought of me as a badly behaved child, even suggested sending me to a workhouse,” he thinks out loud. “I guess when Ma passed …” a lump falls in this throat as he thinks of his mother, “we were forced to spend time together and I saw the real Thorin, the kind caring man, and I fell in love with that side of him. I mean, he still frightens me when his temper flares, but I know he would never hurt me.”

“Thorin is a good man,” Thranduil smiles to the youngster. “Very loyal and very dedicated. When I first met him he struck me as an old soul. Life has hardened him, made him put up strong defences. But once he trusts you enough to let those barriers down … He has a very big heart. And he loves you very dearly.”

Kili fiddles with his skirts grinning. “I am very lucky to have found him,” he admits, locking eyes with Thranduil. “He saved me from a terrible fate. I would still be at Aunt Molly’s if he had not found me.”

“Your father did an evil thing,” Thranduil says softly, putting his hand on Kili’s shoulder in a gesture of friendship. “Many evil things. When I grew up in America there were a lot of men like him where I lived. Men who thought they owned other men. Who sold their fellow men for profit. Who treated other humans worse than they would treat their animals.” He shakes his head. “We have to trust that these are sick individuals, Kili. That it is not the nature of humans to do such evil things or this world would be a horrible place to live indeed. And there are so many beautiful things for us to enjoy.”

Kili can feel tears prick the corner of his eyes but hastily turns away, wiping them with the back of his hand. “Growing up I always wanted to know who my father was. I used to imagine a sailor who had died or someone who didn't know they had a child and would be ecstatic to find out they had a son,” he admits quietly. “I never imagined he would beat me half to death.”  

“Oh Kili,” Thranduil feels his heart shatter for your youngster and he wraps his arm around him, pulling him into a hug. “It is his loss. Look at you,” he pushes his chin up again. “You are a fine young man, handsome, bright. He is not worth your tears, Kili.” He pulls the youngster close for a brief moment. “Now, would you like me to free you from this cage again?” he smiles as Kili coughs softly when his chest is contracted again.

Kili nods. “I was just starting to get used to it,” he jests, feeling warmth rush through his veins. He likes Thranduil, more than he thought he would. _Maybe we could be friends!_

“Who helps you get dressed in Miss Fanny’s get up?” he asks letting out a sigh of relief as the corset loosens.

“One of the other singers at the club usually,” Thranduil smiles at the Kili’s relief. “And sometimes Thorin,” he chuckles as he helps Kili out of his garments again. “Although he is better at taking it off than help putting it on,” he winks at the brunet.

Kili chuckles. “Yes, can imagine that is a speciality of his,” the brunet states feeling his cock twitch at the thought of Thorin peeling off the layers of women’s clothing. “I think maybe I would like to dress as Violet for him.” He turns to Thranduil. “Can you turn me into a fine lady?”

Thranduil feels his smile widen. “I most certainly can,” he nods as he begins to fold away the skirts as Kili starts to pull on his normal clothes again. “Now with a name like Violet I am thinking something mauve, maybe mulberry,” he already imagines Kili is a lovely purple dress. “I think we need to go shopping,” he grins.

Kili looks at Thranduil feeling his eyes widen and a large smile spread across his face. “You mean it? Thank you, Mister Thranduil!” He wraps his arms around the blond’s waist. “When can we go?” he asks, jumping on the balls of his feet.

“Your enthusiasm never ceases, does it?” Thranduil laughs happily. “I will see if I can smuggle you out of here later this week. There is this friend of mine, he is a tailor. And he makes the most beautiful frocks in his attic. I think he would love to try his hands on something pretty for a pretty thing like you.”

Kili hastily pulls the shirt on to cover his scars and buttons it up, humming happily. “Would you like to stay for dinner? I am cooking beef stew and stuffed apple,” he says, pulling on his waistcoat and reconnecting his pocket watch.

“That sounds very tempting indeed. But I have to go home to my wife and son,” Thranduil smiles as Kili pulls his braids from his half long hair again.

Kili can’t help but feel a little disappointed but forces a smile onto his face . “Okay I will see you soon,” he says, pulling on his winter shoes and doing up the laces. _Maybe I won’t go out. Perhaps I can practice my letters and impress Thorin!_  

“You will, little lady,” Thranduil grins, pressing a kiss on Kili’s hand. “And we will turn you into a lovely young woman soon. Thorin will be most surprised,” he smiles with glee at the prospect.

Kili smiles happily. “I must have my lady friend stay for dinner that night also,” he smiles warmly thinking back to the previous night and feeling his cheeks flush as he suddenly remembers this man has now been inside him.

“I will pass your invitation to Miss Fanny who I am sure will be delighted to accept,” Thranduil smirks at Kili’s deep blush. He follows the teenager to the front door, his garments bundled into a suitcase. “And I think you will find Thorin is quite a different lover to a lady than a gentleman,” he leaves Kili with something to think about. “Be good, little Kee. I will see you very soon.”

Kili thinks about this as the blond walks down the hallway. _Is he more gentle? Or more rough?_ He walks back into the living room pondering the makings of his beloved, and walks over to the hearth taking the kettle, walking into the kitchen filling it up.

When after a few minutes he hears the front door open again he beams as he realises Thorin must be home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> three-penny-upright = cheap whore (often taken up against the wall)
> 
> NB. we have made a minor edit to the story as the boys at Ma Molly's would like have referred to the Madam as Aunt Molly. Retrospective edits will be made shortly.


	52. Worries

Thorin puts his hat and coat on the stand and walks in the living room, smiling at his lover who flies into his arms. “Hello lovely one. Now this is a warm welcome home,” he beams, seeking Kili’s soft lips.

Kili deepens the kiss slowly slipping his tongue into Thorin’s hot mouth. As they break apart he beams. “Hello husband, how was your day?”

Thorin sighs, shaking his head as he walks to the sofa to unlace his shoes. He had not had a good day at all if truth be told. Bard had told him he had been unable to make any more progress with the Flannery case, that the witness refused to give any names and that he had found nothing more that he felt could strengthen the case. _I am not going to win this one. It would take an absolute miracle!_ “What about yours? Did you do anything nice?”

Kili shakes his head, unsure still whether to tell Thorin about Thranduil’s visit. “Tidied, cleaned, dinner is cooking,” he smiles and sits next to his beloved. “I missed you,” he says softly, taking his hand in his and placing a kiss on it. “I always miss you.”

“I always miss you too, sweet one,” Thorin smiles at Kili’s tender love. “But it is wonderful to come home to you. Are you ehm … fine … down below?” he blushes softly.

Kili stares at Thorin, a little bewildered, then chuckles. “Yes. A little sore but I will live. It was worth it.” He can feel his cheeks redden. “M-mister Thranduil came by to pick up Miss Fanny’s clothing.” _And caught me wearing them,_ he adds in his head.

“Oh yes?” Thorin replies breezily although his first reaction is one of jealousy that his lovers had both been here without him. He pushes the feeling away. _I trust them both. If I didn’t we would not have done what we did last night._ “Last night was fun,” he smirks. “But I am equally happy to have you all to myself tonight.”

Kili grins. “As am I, my love.” He takes the boiled kettle and pours the water into cup through the tea strain and hands it to Thorin, filling a second cup for himself. “I was wondering also…. could you um … help me write a letter to Fili? I promised him I would write.”

Thorin smiles warmly at Kili. “Of course I will. What a sweet gesture, my love. If you get some paper and my pen we can do that now if you would like?”

Kili rushes towards the desk, picking up the writing kit he had made his lover, and hurrying back to the sofa. “I don’t even know where to start” he admits, watching Thorin pull out the pen he had given him and uncorking the ink.

“Well, how about you tell me what you would like to write and I will write down the letters for you to copy later?”

Kili nods and bites his lip. “I guess _My_ dear Fili is a traditional way to start a letter,” he thinks out loud and watches his husband write down the letters with fascination. “How do you do that so quick? Takes me forever to write one letter.”

“Lots of practice, my love,” Thorin smiles, running his hand through Kili’s wild locks. “I have to write a lot for my work.” He points to the paper when he has written the opening greeting. “Look at _FILI_ ,” he smiles. “Does it look familiar?”

“It looks like mine but different somehow too,” the brunet screws up his eyes. “The first letter is different F-i-l-i,” he says slowly pronouncing it.

“Very good,” Thorin praises. “KILI and FILI share three the same letters. Now, what is the next sentence going to be?”

Kili thinks about this hard. “How about _hope you are well_?” he asks, unsure how a letter should flow. “Or will that sound silly?”

“Not at all. It is always polite to enquire after the recipient’s well-being first,” Thorin smiles. “So here we go. _I H-O-P-E_ …” Thorin spells out the letters with Kili as he writes them down. He loves the way Kili is bent over as he studies his hand scratching the letters onto the paper. He loves his curiosity and eagerness to learn. “This is nice,” he says out loud once he has finished the sentence.

Kili look deep into his lover’s eyes. “It is. I like learning,” he smiles and cuddles into Thorin’s side as he starts to feel a little cold. “You are so warm,” he says softly as Thorin wraps his free arm around his shoulder.

Thorin sniggers. “How am I supposed to write this letter now?” He rests his temple against Kili’s head. “I am really glad that you and Thranduil got on, you know,” he says softly, turning his head and pressing a kiss on Kili’s hair.

Kili smiles. “I was wrong about him. I just got scared he would try and take you away from me, but I know I was wrong now.” He places a soft kiss on Thorin’s lips. “Nothing could keep us away from each other; I was made to love you.”

“You were,” Thorin smiles. “And Thranduil is a good friend. So, what is next?” When Kili looks at him with big eyes he laughs. “The letter,” he points.

“Oh,” Kili laughs too then thinks hard. _What do I really want to say to Fili that I don’t mind Thorin knowing?_ he thinks, wanting to ask Fili about becoming a doctor and if he has had any chance to get more kissing experience. “How about _Thorin and I are both well and happy to be back in London,_ ” he says and smiles as Thorin quickly writes. “I don’t know what else to say.”

Thorin stops writing and frowns at Kili. “Really? You are not normally that tongue tied. How about extending the invitation for him to come to visit us in London again?”

“Oh that’s a good idea. Yes, how about _You must come and visit me and Thorin soon. From Kili._ ” he beams and places a kiss upon Thorin’s cheek. “We could take him to Mother Claps!” he beams excitedly.

Thorin nearly chokes and it take him a few coughs to clear his throat before he turns to Kili. “I don’t think so,” he shakes his head. _My dear lord my brother would cut off my whirlygigs if he found out!_

Kili can see the stern look on Thorin’s face which tells him not to press the subject. “What is Manchester like?” he asks instead, thinking of Fili’s home town. “Is it as big as London?”

“Oh no, London is much bigger,” Thorin answers, continuing to write down the example for Kili to copy. “Manchester is …” He tries to recall the city; it had been a long while since he had last visited his brother there. “It is an industrial city. A lot of cotton mills and factories from what I recall. I prefer London, myself.”

Kili smiles at the careful writing of his beloved. “London is not as bad as I thought. I think I quite like living in a city,” he admits taking the pen off his lover and carefully coping the first letter. “That letter is an F,” the brunet says, proudly pointing at the first letter of Fili.

“It is,” Thorin nods with pride. “You have been practising your letters well, my sweet one. I think soon we could try and read a book together.”

Kili looks at Thorin wide eyed and smiles. “That would be amazing, I think you should give me a kiss every time I get a letter right,” he says cheekily and kisses Thorin’s cheek. “It would be good encouragement.”

Thorin laughs at that. “You are a demanding cheeky little thing. So a kiss for encouragement to recognise a letter … I wonder what reward is appropriate for writing your first letter to my nephew?” he grins wickedly.

Kili smiles mischievously. “How about you suck me?” He laughs at the shocked expression on his gentleman and feels himself going red at his boldness.

“Oh my …” Thorin begins to laugh loudly. “Well, if you write that letter to Fili real neat with no mistakes you have yourself a deal.”

Kili hastily pulls the paper towards him examining Thorin’s writing. “Oh I shall make sure it’s perfect.” He slowly begins copying Thorin’s letter onto a fresh bit of paper.

After ten minutes of concentration he hands his copy back to Thorin nervously. “I think that’s right.” He bites his lip waiting for judgement.

“I am going to get changed,” Thorin smiles teasingly. “Leave it on the table and I will have a look in a moment.” He gets to his feet and walks into the bedroom, trying to keep the wicked smile off his face as he knows Kili will come running after him.

Kili runs into the bedroom. “That’s not fair!” he whines sitting on the edge of the bed and watching his lover hungrily as he takes off his shirt. He can feel his cock grow at the thought of Thorin’s promise. “Please,” he pleads.         

“What is not fair, Kili?” Thorin asks casually, relishing in his young lover’s hungry eyes scanning his body.

“You promised me some attention if the letter was right. I want my attention. Now,” he orders playfully and chucks a pillow at his older lover. “A gentleman always keeps his promises and you, Mr Oakenshield, are a gentleman.”

Thorin raises an eyebrow as he teasingly slowly unbuckles his belt and drops his slacks to the floor. “A gentleman, young Kili, is also patient. You will get your attention … in just a moment.” And he carries on folding his trousers onto the chair.

Kili groans.  “Not fair” he repeats under his breath but finds his eyes glued to his beloved’s crotch as he moves. His yard stiffens further the more he gawps. “You are so beautiful … And a cock tease.”

“A what?!” Thorin utters in surprise at Kili’s vocabulary. “Now that is an interesting term.” He takes a step towards Kili, teasing a finger along his jawline. “Why I think you might need a shave, Mr Durin,” he grins as he feels the gentle stubble under his fingertips.

“I don’t want a shave. Thorin, please!” Kili moans as Thorin continues to stroke his face. “Please, you promised.”

“You had two cocks giving you caudle last night,” Thorin bends himself lower. “How can you possible still want more?” he whispers against Kili’s lips, enjoying his desperation far too much.

Kili can fill his face burn at his beloved’s crude words as his cock presses against his breeches. “I want you,” he moans, moving his hips in a begging manner. “I need you now!”     

"After dinner," Thorin smirks, pressing a soft kiss on Kili's lips. "IF your letter is in order, which I will inspect in a moment,” he adds before he turns to his wardrobe to pull out a more comfortable set of clothes.

 _I cannot eat in a state like this!_ The brunet lets out a frustrated whine and moves from the bed to Thorin wrapping his arms around his back. “I want you now. Bugger the dinner!” he complains, placing a kiss on Thorin’s neck and pressing himself up against his back. “Thorin don’t tease, my love, please,” he begs desperately.

Thorin sighs and wraps his large hands over Kili’s slender ones. Truth is he is tired and the pending trial tomorrow is putting him in any mood but horny. “Alright, let’s have a look at that letter of yours then,” he smiles and leans Kili’s head back to have him press his lips to his mouth.

He quickly puts on a clean shirt and his slippers and walks back into the lounge, where he picks up the letter from the table. “Hm ... “ he nods as he reads through the sentences.

Kili waits silently for his beloveds judgement shuffling his feet." I copied it all as you said,” Kili says quietly and stares at his lover wide-eyed as he furrows his brow.

“Almost perfect,” Thorin smiles, putting the letter on the table again. “Look at this word again.” He points to _vizit_.

Kili screws his eyes up at the letter feeling disappointment wash over him. He had been certain it was all right and cannot help feel a little stupid as he realises his mistake. He grabs the pen and scribbles an S across the Z.

“Don’t look so upset, my clever little prince,” Thorin smiles and presses a kiss on Kili’s temple. “You have done very well to only have made one mistake. And those letters look very similar. I am proud of you. Now if you go to my study and open the top left drawer you will find some envelopes and my address book. If you bring both here we can write Fili’s address on the envelope and you can take this to the post office tomorrow.”

Kili slowly walks into Thorin’s office and nervously approaches the desk. _I have never been allowed to open the drawers before!_ he realises and carefully opens the top one as he had been instructed. He scans the contents when his eyes rest upon a handgun. “Thorin …” he says warily now, “why have you got a gun in your desk?”

Thorin walks into his study upon Kili’s call to him. He had forgotten that he kept his gun in that same drawer. “I sometimes carry it on my person. For self-defence,” he states plainly. “In my line of work it is easy to make enemies. Do not worry yourself over it, I have never been attacked and I am sure I will never get to use it. Now, did you find the address book also?”

Kili shakes his head, too occupied with the gun. He looks at it cautiously again before he picks  up a little book and an envelope and hands it to his beloved.

Thorin flicks through the little book, already walking back towards the lounge, paying no heed to Kili’s apparent concern. “Here we go.” He opens the little book on the table at his brother’s address. “Start the address with Master P Oakenshield. And then copy the rest of the address from here,” he points to the right page, only then realising that Kili has not followed him. He looks back over his shoulder. “Kee?”

Kili quickly shuts the drawer then hurries back to the living room. He sits next to his beloved at the table and slowly begins to write the address on the envelope making sure he copies each letter exactly as they are written in the address book.

“Is that correct?” he asks a little less confident than before once he has finished.

Thorin quickly scans over the address and nods. “Well done. Now fold the letter and put it in the envelope and then tomorrow you can buy a stamp for it.”

Kili follows his lovers instructions then leans his head on his shoulder, tracing his finger down Thorin's chest and relaxes as Thorin runs a finger through his hair. _This is nice just relaxing._

“Hm, that is nice,” Thorin rests his eyes under the tender touch. “What is for dinner, sweetheart? I am starving.”

“Beef stew,” Kili replies with a smile and runs his hand along Thorin’s neck. “And baked apple,” he adds, knowing it is Thorin’s favourite. He unbuttons a few buttons of Thorin’s shirt and moves his hand inside, rubbing against his chest hair.

“Oh, that sounds delicious,” Thorin smiles under the sensual touch. His young lover is hardly subtle when it comes to his needs and he thinks with surprise that he has finally met his match when it comes to such desires. But whilst his mind is still full of less pleasant thoughts he just rests himself back, making the most of Kili’s attention.

Kili unbuttons  his lover’s top button also and places a kiss onto his flesh, sucking little marks into his skin. “Let me take care of you,” he purrs undoing another so that Thorin’s shirt falls open and he moves his lips over the exposed skin.  “Every part of you.” He slowly slips his hand into Thorin’s breeches.

Thorin groans softly. “You’re sweet, my little love,” he whimpers as Kili touches him up. “But I am really tired tonight.” He looks into Kili’s wide-blown eyes and feels guilt settle over him. “I am sorry, sweet prince, I have had a tough day. And I will be in court all day tomorrow. I will keep my promise to you though,” he presses a kiss onto Kili’s lips. “I will give you that one letter,” he winks.

Kili reluctantly removes his hand from Thorin’s trousers, trying to hide his disappointment. He feels confused at being turned down by his lover and doesn't know what to do or say. “I shall finish dinner,” he says giving him a reassuring smile. _Maybe he finds me boring after last night,_ the teen panics as he gets up.

“Hey,” Thorin grabs Kili’s wrist before he has a chance to slip past him, noticing his upset and forcing him to look at him. “Don’t look so sad, we’ll have plenty of time to play when this damned case is over. It has nothing to do with you, alright,” he says in a serious tone.

Kili nods, still a little unsure what to think. “I shall dish up dinner, my love,” he repeats giving Thorin a kiss on his cheek then walking out of the room and cutting some bread to have with the stew. _He has never refused me before. Why now? Maybe he does prefer Thranduil. No, don’t be stupid, he loves you!_ the brunet has an inner conflict with himself.

Whilst Kili is busy in the kitchen Thorin walks into his study and takes his paperwork out of his briefcase. He spreads them across his desk and studies them for the hundredth time today. _Something. There has to be something here. Something I have overlooked._ He flicks pages over, makes annotations and flicks them back again. _Nothing!_ He bangs his fist on the desk in frustration as he knows time is slipping away from him.

Kili can hear his lover is getting angry and is unsure if to approach his study or not. “Thorin,” he says quietly, nervously hovering in the doorway, “would you like dinner in here?”

Thorin looks up and sighs, shaking his head. “No, sweet one, I’d like to have it with you at the table. There is nothing useful I can do here anyway.” He shuts his notebook with a sigh and walks to Kili, grabbing him in a warm embrace. “Love you, sweet one. If it wasn’t for you I would be getting worked up all on my own, probably not even eating anything at all. You look after me well.” He presses a kiss on top of Kili’s head.

Kili smiles feeling his worries slowly slip away. “I love you too, my handsome gentleman.” He holds onto Thorin’s hand and leads him towards the dining table. “I will pour us some wine as well, my love.”

“Not too much for me,” Thorin sighs. “I will return to my study again after dinner.” He sits himself at the table and smiles apologetically at Kili. “I am sorry that I am not very pleasant company tonight.”

Kili can feel a wave of disappointment wash over him. _Wonderful, what am_ I _meant to do?_ he thinks to himself, then has an idea.  I am going to go out,” he says, tucking into his meal.

Thorin still his fork halfway towards his mouth and raises his eyes to Kili. “Out? Out where?”

Kili senses his beloved’s worry. “For a walk,” he lies, wondering how Thorin would react to him visiting Ma Molly’s place and bites his lip, pondering if he should tell him the truth. _But what if he doesn't let me go?_

“A walk where? Kili it is late and London is not a safe place at night. I’d rather you didn’t. Why don’t you stay and practice your letters some more?” _He must be bored though,_ Thorin thinks guiltily. _Locked up in this great dirty city without any friends. He only has you here and you are too busy with this damned case!_ He tries to think what he used to do when he was Kili’s age and it only inflames his guilt. He and Frerin had the whole of Erebor Estate to explore; they would spend hours running around the woods, building huts, go fishing or riding. He takes another bite of his stew and chews slowly. “This is really lovely,” he praises Kili’s cooking, not sure what to do.

“Thank you,” the brunet smiles, but as he thinks about the rest of what Thorin has said he finds himself frowning. “Why would you rather I didn’t? I promise I will be real careful. I just fancy some air that is all,” he says softly, prodding his food. Suddenly he feels a little trapped, not being allowed to go out on his own. “I will be fine, honestly. I am sixteen years old. I can look after myself, Thorin.” He bites his lip, not wanting to anger his lover but equally feeling somewhat irritated. Thorin does not ask his permission when he goes out. They are supposed to be equals behind closed doors!

Thorin is about tell Kili off for the tone with which he had spoken to him, but for once he considers his words before he reacts. Kili has a point. He desperately wants to say ‘no’ but he reminds himself of his own words that Kili is not his possession. And he has nothing else to offer him. Kili is too old for toys, too young to go to gambling houses and he cannot read. _Damn this city!_ This is doing nothing for his mood. “Alright. But don’t go too far,” he says very reluctantly in the end. “And be back before midnight. You have your watch now, so no excuses.”

Kili eyes grow wide at Thorin’s one hundred and eighty degree turn, but he takes the opportunity with both hands. “I promise I will behave and won't talk to strangers either.” He brings Thorin’s hand up to his lip and gives it a gentle kiss. “Thank you, Thorin. And I like that you worry about me. It makes me realise how much you love me.”  

“More than I could ever put into words, my beloved … husband.” It feels weird saying this, after all this had just been something they had dreamt up between them. But it feels good also. “I would die if anything bad happened to you again.”

Kili looks deep into his older lover’s eyes, seeing truth and love reflected in them and smiles. “As would I if something happened to you, my love,” he wraps his arms around his shoulders. “Nothing bad will happen. And I will be back way before midnight, promise.” And he seals the deal with a kiss on Thorin’s cheek.

Thorin nods and they continue their meal in silence. He knows he cannot keep Kili locked up in here, but he cannot help feeling anxious about the prospect of Kili roaming the streets of London at night. “I would like you to take a carriage if you are going to go any further than Holborn,” he looks to Kili again. “And make sure you do not wear your ring or your pocket watch on show.”

“Promise you I will keep them both safe, my beautiful husband.”

After they have finished their meal Kili clears the table and brings out the dessert. “Is there anything else you would like me to do before I go?”

Thorin shakes his head. “Actually, Kili …” He bites his lip, giving this one last thought, “I really feel uncomfortable about you going out on your own at night. I would feel happier if … I would like you to take my gun. Just for my peace of mind more than anything.”

Kili chokes on a mouthful of apple in surprised shock. “W-what do you imagine would happen?” Kili asks, a little unsure what all the fuss is about. “I don’t have anything valuable enough worth stealing! I will be fine, honestly.”

But Thorin briskly shakes his head. “Everything you have is valuable. _You_ are valuable. And anyhow an attacker might not hesitate to find out what you are hiding in your pockets before slicing your throat. Do you have any idea how many people are murdered in London each year?”

Kili shakes his head. “Thorin, I am a mere servant to the outside world,” he says softly but can see the stern expression on his handsome love’s face “ But if you wish me to take your gun I shall do as you wish,” he compromises not wanting to get into an argument over something so trivial as him going out.  

“I do wish that,” Thorin urges, wiping his mouth on his napkin after he has enjoyed the sweet treat. “And you are not a mere servant, Kili. You are my valet and anyone who would know that would any see you as a more attractive target. Anyhow, most street murders are not about status, they are simply a case of in the wrong place at the wrong time.” He reaches of Kili’s hand. “I know you can look after yourself, Kili, but this city hides many dark secrets that you have not yet seen and hopefully you never will. But just in case ...”

Kili places a soft kiss on Thorin’s lips. “I understand and will take a carriage wherever I go. I…. I just want to go and see Bilbo. I promised him fish and chips,” he admits the truth, really expecting Thorin to refuse to let him leave now.

“I see …” Thorin looks seriously at his lover. “While I appreciate your honesty, it is where I was expecting you would go. Which is why I am concerned. This area is much more affluent than ….” He bites back his worries; it is not fair on Kili to try and scare him off. “Just be careful. And if Bilbo is not free to go out with you please come straight back.”

“ I promise you sweetheart, I will come straight back to you.” Kili holds Thorin’s hand close to his chest. “You would not even know I am gone. I shall be on my best behaviour, won't cause any trouble nor draw any attention to myself,” he promises yet again and smiles. “You worry far too much.”

“I do,” Thorin nods, cuddling Kili in his strong embrace. “I just care so much for you, my love. Alright, be gone then,” he laughs. “Before I change my mind. And there will be a treat waiting for you when you come back as promised,” he gives Kili a thick wink.

Kili grins widely. “I shall hurry back then,” he purrs and presses his lips against Thorin’s. “Don’t stress out over work too much,” he says seriously. “I hate seeing you stressed. I wish I could help.”

“It is fine, it is the nature of my job,” Thorin shrugs, but the sweetness of the words makes his heart sing. He walks to his study as Kili pulls on his winter coat and takes the gun out of his top drawer, checking the magazine is still loaded. “Let me show you this,” he calls to Kili. “If you are going to carry it, you need to know how to use and secure it.”

Kili gulps thinking about his experiences with guns before. “What if I shoot my foot or something?” he worries out loud and bites his lip. “Is this completely necessary?”

Thorin gives Kili a warning look that conveys that it is this or nothing, before he proceeds to show Kili the parts of the gun. “The same principles apply as a shotgun or rifle. Never point it at someone unless you intend to kill or at least scare the living daylights out of them.” He hands the weapon to Kili. “Only if you feel your life is seriously threatened. Please promise me, Kee. No fooling around, no showing off to your friend. I trust you.”

Kili nods. “I will not pull it out unless I feel I need to protect myself, I promise you. But please try not to worry so about me. I am not stupid and I know the world is not a nice place,” he says sadly and gives Thorin one last kiss. “I love you.”

“Love you too. And I know you are not stupid. Have a nice evening with your friend, my sweet one,” Thorin smiles and opens the door for Kili after he had safely stowed the gun away.

“See you later my stallion,” Kili gives him a wink and walks down the corridor humming.


	53. Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before Hobbitcon. If any of our lovely readers are there, please come and say hello to us. We will be doing a special Thief-themed evening dress up ;)

Kili picks up a stone and lobs it at Bilbo’s window. “Bilbo,” he calls into the darkness hoping his friend was free to see him and he has not just trailed across London for nothing. After he has no response he picks up a second stone, chucking and hitting the window sill.

Bilbo cringes when the second stone crashes against the window. He can guess that it’s his friend who is throwing stones at the window but right now he is hardly in a position to go and say hello. He wishes for the guy on top of him to just hurry up. _Surely he has to be close now._ And that there won’t be another waiting for him so he can just sneak out for a bit.

When there is no response Kili hesitates, unsure what to do. _Shall I just go?_ he wonders then a streak of determination hits him. He slowly walks to the door, his heart going ten to the dozen as he puts his hand on the door knob. _Hold you head up high you have nothing to be ashamed of._ Trying to make himself look tall and confident he approaches the wooden desk.

Ma Molly looks up from her book, her sweetest smile painted around her lips to welcome her latest customer. But as she finds herself face to face with the tall teenager that smile instantly drops off her face. “Kili?” She never forgets a face even though the boy looks a world away from how he had left her establishment just over a month ago. Then she grins. “Well well, what brings you back to Ma Molly’s, boy?”

Kili looks in to the blue eyes of the brothel owner feeling hatred for the woman. _Keep it polite,_ he reminds himself and forces a smile onto his face. “I have come to see Bilbo, Madam,” he says, copying his lover’s attitude of dealing with people. “If you will just get him for me.”

The elderly woman blinks hard at the young man from under her thick makeup. And then begins to laugh. “And who do you think you are to demand that I do that? You may all look the part now, but do you have the money to go with it? Bilbo is with a client right now. If you wish to see him you will have to wait your turn and pay for the privilege.”

Trying not to lose his temper Kili takes out the wallet Thorin had given him and opens it up revealing his notes. “How much to see my friend, Madam? And I suggest you change your tone, Madam,” he says with a slight tremble in his voice, trying to hide the grin as the lady’s eyes bulge from her socket.

Ma Molly’s mouth falls open at the way this boy - one who used to work for her! - is talking to her. But a glance at the thick wallet is enough to convince her to hold her tongue and put on her sweet act. _He screwed you over. Now make him pay for it._ “For you, sweet Kili, how about a Lady Godiva? And you can have him all night.”

Suddenly Kili feels a little lost at this. He knows it is far too much but desperately wants to see his friend. “We have an agreement, madam,” he says taking a five pound note out of his wallet. Then he hesitates. “But I wish for you to bring him down first, then you shall have your money.”

The Madam forces a polite smile, wanting to just snatch the note from the cheeky lad who has fallen way above his station. “Take a seat,” she nods curtly. “I will let you know when he is ready for you, _sir_.”

Kili feels awkward waiting in the little room, but reluctantly takes a seat on the padded blue sofa next to another gentleman waiting. _A month ago you could have been waiting for me,_ he thinks, feeling even more uncomfortable.           

Bilbo sighs gratefully when his client finally moves off him and smiles forcibly when he hands him two pennies. “And a good eve, sir.” He watches the guy leave and then scrambles up to the window, but feels his face drop as there is no sign of Kili. _Of course, he got bored of waiting._ He sinks back down onto the bed, carefully putting his tip away in the little tin and then drags himself to the basin. He jumps when he already hears the bell for his next client and hastily wrings out the wash cloth and drags it between his thighs and cheeks.

“Up ya go then,” Ma Molly nods to Kili once the previous client has left the premises. She watches him jump to his feet but then stop him before he can rush up the stairs. “That’ll be a fiver, remember,” she grins wickedly.

The brunet can feel his face blush as he hastily pulls out a five pound note from his wallet placing it into her grubby hands. He slowly makes his way up the familiar stairs, nodding to a boy he recognises as he makes his way to the blond’s room. _Do I knock?_ he wonders as he halts outside the room and then gently taps the door.

“Come in!” Bilbo calls, quickly straightening the sheets as he throws the wash cloth back into the basin. He sits himself on the bed, forcing that smile again for the next gentleman he is to please tonight.

Kili opens the door then smiles as he sees his friend’s shocked face. “Hello,” he says in greeting and runs over to the bed wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

“Kili!” Bilbo cries out in shock. “How? What? Does Ma …?” He embraces his friend hard, not even realising at first that he is still stark naked. Then he flushes as it dawns on him and he draws the sheets up over his lap. “What are you doing here?!”

“Get dressed, I am taking you out for the night.” Kili grins grabbing hold of a pair of trousers and chucking them playfully at his friend. “I promised you fish and chips. And I have paid for your company for the night.”

Bilbo does as he is told, completely stunned by this unexpected turn of events. “You have _paid_ for my company? You are taking me to have fish  & chips?” He pulls on a shirt and the coat that Kili had given him the last time they met. Then looks at his friend, feeling so completely lost in this situation that he is quite unsure how to respond. “So ehm …” he shuffles a little nervously. “You have paid for me,” he says again. “Are you … Am I … What do I call you? Sir?” _Is he actually a client? What do I do?_

Kili laughs. “Kili. You call me Kili, silly.” He takes Bilbo’s hand in his. “I am taking you out as my friend. This is the only way I could think of getting you out,” he smiles at the still confused look on Bilbo’s face. “Are you ready?”

Bilbo nods, daring to really smile now and wraps his arms around Kili again, hugging him hard. “You are the best! The very best!” He beams from ear to ear. “Ready!”

Kili holds out his arm for the other boy to take then giggles. “Ma Molly is going to have a fit. I think she thought I was here to indorse you.” He opens the door and they walk down the steps to the waiting area where Ma Molly is smiling at some old gentleman. Kili rushes forward and holds open the door for the blond.

Bilbo can feel his cheeks flush bright red. He throws Ma Molly a nervous glance, but although she catches his eyes and gives him an evil look she says nothing. Before she has a chance to change her mind he races after Kili onto the street.

Kili beams at Bilbo’s huge smile as he joins him on the cobbled street. “It is so nice to see you. I know I saw you just the other day, but I was….. well drunk,” he gives a nervous chuckle then looks at his old coat. “Nice coat.”

Bilbo looks down at the garment and wraps is closer around him. “Cheers. Got it off this drunk boy,” he jests. “So what happened then? Did you go back to Mr Oakenshield?”

Kili nods then looks around the street. When he realises the coast is clear he pulls out his ring showing the blond. “We have made a promise to each other to love each other as long as we live. Acting like we are married in private,” he grins, tucking his most prized possession away under his shirt.

Bilbo has to push his jaw back shut as he gawps at his friend.

_But he is servant! And he was a …_

“You are the luckiest kid in all of London, y’know,” he grins, not wanting to actually say any of those thoughts out loud, not wanting to upset Kili. Still, it is crazy. If anyone found out … “So where’s them fish ‘n chips then?” he threads his arm through Kili’s, pushing all other thoughts away.

Kili grins and points down the road to the shop on the corner. “Thorin had brought me here once and the fish, my god Bilbo, it's amazing. And chips is really fried potato; so easy to cook but so tasty,” he babbles excitedly as he leads the way down the road

He stops as he remembers the present he had picked up on the way. He pulls it out of his pocket and places it in the blond's hand. “This is chocolate. It tastes wonderful too.”

Bilbo looks at the wrapped treat. It feels heavy. He had heard about _chocolate_ , it was all the rage among the upper echelons. But he had not been able to justify spending his hard earned money on something like that. He carefully pulls at the wrapper and can immediately smell that sweet smell. "Smells amazing!"

Kili grins. “Tastes better. And hot chocolate, oh my, I must buy you a hot chocolate at some point,” he says, watching the blond examine the bar. “Go on take a bite,” he encourages.

The blond boy puts his teeth into the sweet. It is much harder than he had expected and the taste it nothing like he tasted before. He chews happily, grinning a dirty chocolate smile at his friend. “That’s good!” He hands the sweet treat back to Kili to take a bite.

Kili takes a small mouthful, thinking of the first time he had tasted the rich treat then hands it back to Bilbo. “The rest is yours,” he smiles and takes his pocket watch out carefully to check the time. “So how have you been?” he asks, putting the jewellery back into his pocket making sure it is well out of sight.

Bilbo shoves the bar if chocolate in his inside pocket. “Cheers, matey.” Then shrugs. “Ye know. Same old. Tis alright. Oh, I said to Tom I’d seen you. He says hey.”

Kili can't help but feel a pang of sadness for his friend. _I have had so much interesting stuff happen to me and he is still stuck in a place like that_ , he thinks guiltily, suddenly wishing he had not shown Bilbo his expensive gifts from his beloved. “Tell Tom I say hey too.”

As they near the door for the little shop he holds it open. “After you,” he says politely.

“You should come round more often,” Bilbo grins as he walks into the gorgeous smelling eatery. “Meet the other boys again. Bet you have amazing stories to tell them.” He wants to ask Kili a waterfall of questions about him and Thorin and all the things that have happened since he left Ma Molly’s - after all the last time Kili had not exactly been in a state to give him a proper update - but he knows that this is not the place. Discretion is the first thing he had learnt at the punishing hand of Ma Molly and he will not say anything that could jeopardise Kili or his gentleman.

He can feel his stomach rumble loudly and turns to his friend. “Wow, this smells good!”

“Tastes better,” Kili laughs, ordering two portions of the Jewish food and taking a table furthest away from the counter so they can talk in private. “So Bilbo, tell me,” he says lowering his voice “Have you ever ehm … done….it … with more than one man?”

Bilbo chokes on his own spit, grabbing Kili’s coat as he drags him so low over the table that his nose almost touches the surface. He flicks his head from side to side, suspiciously eyeing the other customers who do not seem to pay them any attention. “Crap, Kee, you cannot ask me that. Not here!” he hisses. But then curiosity takes over. “Why do you ask?”

Kili can feel his face flush bright red. “N...no reason,” he utters unable to keep a smile from spreading across his face.

The elderly gentleman delivers their dinner then walks back to the counter again.

“Enjoy,” Kili says, taking a large mouthful of chips.

He does not need to be told twice. Bilbo immediately tucks in to the amazing smelling meal. He had only had some porridge and a bit of bread today and although he would not complain - there were many who could not count on even that every day of the week - this was quite something else. “Ohmygowd!” he says with his mouth full of chips. “Delicious!”

Kili grins at his friend’s eagerness. “I take it that’s a _you like it_.” He takes another mouthful then puts his portion onto the blond’s. “Here,” he smiles.

“Whatabout you?” Bilbo asks in surprise, already shovelling the fried fish in great heaps into his mouth.

“I have eaten with Thorin already,” he says softly “And I know how little you will have eaten.” He feels bad again as he looks at Bilbo’s skinny frame.

“Thanks!” Bilbo says again, grinning as he does not hesitate to clear the two portions in record time. When every last morsel has been devoured he leans back in his chair, patting his full stomach contently. “How are you not round as a ton? If yer mister feeds you so much?”

Kili snorts laughing. “He is trying to get me fat, insisting that I eat bucket loads,” he says, thinking fondly of his beloved.“Thorin looks after me well, I am very lucky.”

Bilbo cocks his head at his friend, smirking at the dreamy expression on his face. “And the other gentleman?” he asks in barely a whisper, now remembering Kili’s indecent question before. “The American?”

Kili can feel his face flush again “What about him?” he asks carefully, suddenly aware of the dangers of being in public but can't help a grin appear on his face.

“Well … you asked me a question …” Bilbo grins. “And it made me wonder why … As I recall, he was quite a nice looking gentleman,” he adds in a whisper.

“Well….I...yes he has taken care of me, but not in the same way as Thorin does,” he admits quietly. “Thranduil is a nice man and a good friend.”

Bilbo asks no more. He can guess enough from what Kili has let slip and that is already more than he should have. “So are you,” he smiles. “Thank you for this, that was very nice of yer.” He laughs a little sadly. “Wish all my clients were as good as you, _mister_.”

Kili looks at Bilbo then makes a decision, taking out his wallet and peeling out a five pound note placing it in the blond’s hand. “This is for you, Bilbo. I will get you out of that place. I promise you.”

Bilbo stares at the small fortune that Kili has just given him. He skittishly looks around them to see if anyone saw then hastily puts it deep in his coat pocket. He leans forward a little. "You shouldn’t flaunt yer wealth so much in a place like this," he warns with genuine concern for his reckless friend. "Thank you," he whispers though, grinning.

Kili smiles and feels where the gun Thorin had given him is placed. “I care about you Bilbo. You could be so much more than a rent boy in that place,” he says softly leading the way out of the eatery, giving a nod to the elderly man. “I shall ask Thranduil if he needs any staff,” he decides linking arm with his friend.

When they reach number ten Cleveland Street again, Bilbo throws his arms around Kili. “Thank you so much! I had the best time!” He thinks Kili’s last words are awfully kind, but he will not hold him to that promise. He knows Kili was incredibly lucky in the end, how he ended up. The rest of the boys … Well, life just is what it is.

“It’s okay, I will be fine,” he says when he can see Kili’s guilt. “Got the boys to look after me right! And when I have saved enough money in me tin, I am gonna go to America!” he beams, hugging Kili once more.

Kili squeezes his friend tight. “I shall come back and see you again soon,” he promises, hoping he can indeed return to visit his friend again soon. “And I shall treat you to a hot chocolate.”

He halts himself a carriage, giving his friend one last smile “See you soon, Bilbo.” He steps inside and leans his head against the plush seat, taking out his watch and checking the time which reads _ten forty._ The brunet closes his eyes as the horse begins to move across the cold streets of London.

His thoughts linger on his promise to Bilbo. _I hope I really can help him. That is no life._

When after about fifteen minutes the carriage stops outside the familiar building of Gray’s Inn he hastily gets out, handing the driver five shillings, making sure to give a little extra. “Good evening,” he smiles and makes his way past the security guard and into the building.

He slowly unlocks the door, making sure to be quiet in case his beloved has already retired for the night. He lets out a sigh of relief as he enters the warm living room, walking up to the hearth warming his hands against the fire. He looks down the little hallway noting a light gleaming under the door of Thorin’s study and slowly walks down the hall giving the door a gentle tap. “Thorin, I am home.”

Thorin looks up from his paperwork and pinches the bridge of his nose. He had completely lost track of time and is surprised that Kili has already returned until he notes that the clock says gone eleven. “Kili!” he pushes himself back and slowly gets to his feet.

He beams when he finds his beloved standing on the other side of the door and wraps him in his arms. “You are back. Save and well. I am so glad.” He kisses his forehead and nose and then seeks his lips, tilting Kili’s slightly to meet his.

Kili grins “I am and before twelve as promised.” He cups his beloved’s face, feeling his warm skin. “And how was your evening, husband?”

Thorin sighs, rubbing his face and beard. “Exhausting.” He brushes Kili’s hair out of his face. “Don’t worry, I have not forgotten my promise though,” he winks.

He walks back to his desk and begins to put his paperwork back in his briefcase. “And how was yours? Did you meet your friend?” _He still cannot say_ Bilbo. It is just too odd.

Kili nods. “I took him to the fish and chip shop and brought him some chocolate it was nice,” he admits softly, feeling guilty once again. “I feel bad that he is stuck in that place and I have someone as lovely as you to look after me. I want to help him, Thorin, help him have a better life.”

“You cannot help every lost soul, Kili,” Thorin walks up to his lover and wraps his arm around him. “But it is nice that you took him to the fish and chip shop.”

Kili cannot help but feel a wave of sadness rush over him. “But I want to help him,” he says quietly leaning his head on Thorin. “You helped me, why can’t I help him?” He can feel Thorin wrap his arm tighter around him. “Maybe Mister Thranduil might need a new servant.”

Thorin takes a moment to answer. The truth is he feels awkward about the fact that Bilbo had been a source of pleasurable distraction for him before he got involved with Kili and he would rather just forget about that time in his life; that time that was largely filled with unhappy memories and regrettable choices. “Perhaps,” he tries to put an amenable end to the conversation. “Now shall we have a nightcap and then retire to the bedroom, my love?”

Kili nods. “Can I have an absinthe please?” he asks giving a huge yawn. “Would you like me to make it, my love?”

“No, my sweet, tonight I am taking care of you,” Thorin smiles and takes his two glasses out of the cabinet. “Remember? Because you have been such an exemplary student.” He pours his lover a generous glass of the green liquid and pours himself a brandy.

Kili looks at Thorin blankly then feels a smile spread across his face as he remembers their agreement. “Oh yes,” he wraps his arms around his lover’s waist as he takes the seat beside him. “I believe you owe me some attention,” the teen purrs, placing a kiss on Thorin’s cheek and smiling cheekily.

“You had not forgotten now, had you?” Thorin grins, brushing Kili’s hair out of his face. It has grown so long again since he last had it cut, but he now finds it quite suits him and he had looked very cute indeed with his ribbon in his hair just the other night. “Because I hadn’t …” He slides himself off the sofa and kneels himself down, placing a kiss on Kili’s knee.

Kili runs his fingers into Thorin’s hair. “You are so handsome,” he utters looking deep into his crystal clear eyes. “I am so very lucky.” He lowers his mouth to Thorin’s head and places a kiss in his hair taking in his older lover’s scent.

“And you are just adorable,” Thorin beams. He runs his hands up the inside of his lover’s trousers, teasingly avoiding his growing bulge. Then he moves himself in between the boy’s legs and repeats the movement with his mouth, pressing kisses all up his thighs. “Do you like that, my little one?” He looks up at Kili with a wide grin. “Do you want me to carry on?”

Kili can feel his eyes darken with lust. _That feels so good; he is a magic man at this._ He nods vigorously. “Yes Thorin, my love, don’t tease,” the teen pleads thrusting his hips. “Please.”

“I like it when you plead to be given such pleasure by me,” Thorin grins. He moves his hand to the buttons on Kili’s trousers and slowly pulls them open. “Show me what you have for me, my beautiful prince.” This time he presses a long kiss against Kili’s bulging crotch before his hand slides into his garments.

Kili groans as he feels Thorin’s hand as it snakes around his manhood. He looks at Thorin and can see the enjoyment in his beloved’s face. “You enjoy my need too much,” he comments and runs his hands along Thorin’s hairline teasing the sensitive spot behind his ears.

“How can I not?” Thorin groans softly, closing his eyes for a moment and leaning against the touch. “And I don’t think it is possible to enjoy you _too much_ , my sweet young love.” He raises himself up on his knees to bury his face in Kili’s coarse hair.

Kili winds his fingers into Thorin’s hair, resisting the urge to thrust into Thorin’s mouth. A little whimper escapes his lips. “Thorin do it, do it now,” he orders squealing as Thorin runs his hand along the back of his legs.

Thorin cannot help but grin happily at Kili’s demands. He licks his lips slowly, teasingly as he takes Kili’s hardness into his fist. He keeps his eyes trained on Kili’s as he parts his lips slowly, lowering his mouth down along his shaft.

Kili lets out a huge groan as he bucks his hips, sending his sword deep into his lover’s throat. “That feels…..amazing!” he gasps as Thorin’s wicked tongue licks at his slit. He softly lets out a gasp of surprise as he feels fingers at his other entrance.

“Oh, you like that, little Kee?” Thorin asks innocently, rubbing is pucker gently giving little cat licks along his shaft interchanged with sloppy kisses. When Kili nods enthusiastically he exerts a little more pressure and slides the tip of his middle finger into his body. As Kili grabs him tight he takes him back into his mouth again, this time sucking him in earnest.

“Thorin that’s wonderful” Kili utters. “More, my love, I need more,” he orders wiggling his hips.

Thorin wraps his free hand firmly round Kili’s base, pumping him in the same rhythm as his mouth, enveloping his length fully. With the other he spreads Kili’s buttocks a little more and then without warning pushes his index and ring finger into his lover as well, grinning around his cock as Kili squeals in surprise.

“I like that my love,” Kili mewls, moving his hand into Thorin’s hair winding his fingers into his thick mane. “You are perfect, my darling,” He pulls at Thorin’s hair as he feels his need course through him. _No, not yet!_ he scolds himself.

Thorin raises his eyes and pulls his mouth back for a moment. “Darling?” he grins. “I like that.” He winks at Kili as his wriggles his fingers inside him. “So … let’s see if I can find this magical button of yours again, sweet one …” He curves his fingers, brushing all three along Kili’s front wall. It takes him a few attempts of pushing in deeper and then shallower until Kili’s eyes grow wide and he thrusts himself up into the air. “There?” he grins wickedly.

“Yes!” Kili cries feeling sweat trickle down his brow. “Harder Thorin, I want more!” the teen orders and lets out another squeal of delight as he feels his pleasure spot brushed again. “Harder!”

Thorin is both surprised and intrigued by Kili’s demands. Thranduil is the only person who has ever been a match to him when it comes to bed sports, but Kili has clearly taken inspiration from his masters. “Alright,” he obliges and he sinks his mouth down Kili’s hard weeping dick. He can feel that little rough knobble inside channel and rubs over it with increased vigour, feeling his own need throb and dribble inside his slacks.

“Thorin, I need to spill,” Kili squeaks, unable to keep his peak from approaching any longer “can..can I?”

Thorin chuckles around Kili’s prick but does not release him, just increases the suck on his prick. _How long can you hold out my lover?_ He thrusts his fingers deep inside Kili’s channel and takes him deep into his throat, pulling hard at his lover’s cock. _Come then, little one. I know you want to._

Kili can feel his peak approaching. He tries to hold back, unsure if Thorin would be angry with his lack of restraint, but as his lover does not let up he can’t but spurt his essence deep down Thorin’s throat, feeling pleasure rush all over his body as he wails his delight softly.

“Good, my sweet one?” Thorin smiles, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth. “You messy boy, fetching all down my throat.” He pulls back his fingers and pulls Kili’s trousers off completely, spreading his legs wide as he leans over him, kissing his mouth deeply, teasing his tongue roughly across Kili’s. “You like to taste what you give to me, little Kee?” he smirks.

Kili nods enthusiastically and crushes his lips against Thorin’s. “Thank you, my sweetheart,” He smiles, looking deep into Thorin’s eye’s feeling love rush through his body and also seeing warmth deep in Thorin.

“You are most welcome,” Thorin smiles, kissing Kili’s nose softly. He pulls Kili’s knees up a little and releases himself from his slacks, pushing against Kili’s softened entrance. “I love you, my little Kee,” he whispers as he enters him slowly. “My sweet husband,” he kisses Kili’s lips, knowing just how much those words will mean to his young lover.

“And I you, my sweet beloved, always and forever,” Kili gives Thorin a wide smile wrapping his arms around his shoulders. “My perfect husband,” he runs his fingers in circles over Thorin’s shoulders.

Thorin slowly pushes his hips forward, pushing Kili into the cushions of the sofa. He leans further onto Kili, straightening his legs to give him leverage. “You feel so good, little one. So very hot.” He thrusts a little harder, keeping his eyes trained on Kili’s wide eyes, almost black after his orgasm, staring back at him with lust and love.

Kili’s body feels extra sensitive after his climax. He can feel every little movement as Thorin thrusts deep into his body. “You are so beautiful, my Thorin,” he gasps thrusting his head backwards. “I love you so very much.”

_My Thorin._

Those words of possession make Thorin’s heart bloom and he buries his face in the hollow of Kili’s neck, kissing him tenderly. “And I you,” he pants against his lover’s soft skin. “My Kili,” he adds reverently.

He feels his peak bubble up deep inside his belly and pushes himself in as deep as he can before that intensity explodes through his prick. “K-Kee …” he grunts thrusting forward a few stuttering attempts before he collapses onto his sweet lover.

They pant for a few minutes until both their heartbeats return to normal. Kili looks deep into Thorin’s eyes seeing exhaustion in them, instantly feeling a pang of guilt. _He has been working so hard and then takes care of me._ He grabs hold of Thorin’s hand bringing it up to his lips and placing a soft kiss onto it. “Come on, husband, bedtime.”

“Hm,” Thorin murmurs softly, feeling quite comfortable where he has slumped onto Kili. But he lets his young beloved push him to his feet and lead him to the bedroom, where they sink onto the bed. He struggles out of his clothes and then wraps Kili into his arms. “Sleep well, my sweet Antinous.” And with his face buried in Kili’s hair he falls into a deep haunting sleep.


	54. Suspicion Haunts the Guilty Mind

“I shall see you later,” Kili calls out to his lover as he bundles on his coat and hat and rushes out of the front door. He takes out his pocket watch and checks the time which reads nine forty five.

He walks out past the security guard, giving him a nod. “Good morning, sir,” he says in greeting and walks through the large grounds out to the street. He  wraps his coat around him as the bitter winter wind makes his teeth chatter, scanning his eyes up and down the street waiting for the carriage that Thranduil had said would arrive. _I hope Thorin likes Miss Violet,_ he worries, wondering if he is doing the right thing or should call off Thranduil and his plan to surprise Thorin. Just then he notes a black carriage slowing down.  

Thranduil opens the door from the inside with a smile. “Hello young master Durin. Do come out of the cold.” He holds out his gloved hand to help the brunet climb into the carriage.

“Thank you, sir,” Kili says.

Thranduil watches the youngster take a seat opposite him and then taps his cane against the roof of the carriage to notify the driver that he is to continue the agreed journey.

As soon as the carriage begins to move Kili gives the blond a huge smile. “How are you Mister Thranduil?”

“Very well, Mister Oakenshield,” Thranduil grins and winks at the youngster. “And how has married life been?”

“Very good so far,” Kili says feeling a rush of affection towards the blond haired man and happy to be called Thorin’s husband. “I will be glad when Thorin’s court case is over, it stresses him so,” he says, thinking back to the last few nights of Thorin staying up to early hours of the morning pondering over papers.  

“I see. What is the case about?” the American enquires.

Kili lets out a sigh. “I am not really sure, he hasn’t told me much about it,” he admits, leaning back against the cushioned carriage. “All I know is he is struggling to prove his client's innocence and he keeps getting angry.”

“I see,” Thranduil says again. Occasionally Thorin spoke to him about a case he was working on. But usually that was when he was excited and confident about a case. When one was going badly liked this one seemed to go he often saw little of his friend as he locked himself away for days and nights on end. “Just be prepared for when he is finished with it,” he says softly, with a bit of a playful smirk around his lips. “He will welcome some distraction.”

Kili can feel his cheeks blush at Mister Thranduil’s suggestion. “Well good,” he says quietly running his fingers through his now shoulder-length hair, “because at the moment I could strip off naked, dance in front of him and he still  would not notice.”   

Thranduil snorts through his nostrils. “Well, let’s make sure that he has no choice but to notice you then, little lady,” he winks again as the carriage slows to a halt. “Ready to have some fun?”

Kili nods feeling a bubble of excitement flutter through him as he slowly gets out of the carriage looking at the black and white tailor shop with men’s fashion garments in a window display. It is smaller than he had thought. He follows the blond into the little shop feeling a little nervous.

“Hello Dori!” Thranduil greets the tailor with a broad smile. An elderly man looks up from his intricate stitching and beams back at the American.

“Well well, if it isn’t Miss Fanny Star!” the white haired man puts down his work and walks up to his customer, shaking his hand eagerly. “It has been a long time, Mr Boisvert. Good to see you, very good to see you!” Then his spectacled eyes fall on the shy teenager half hiding behind the tall blond gentleman. “And you have brought a friend! How delightful!”

Kili looks up wide-eyed at the friendly man feeling a little wary as he always finds himself with new people. “Hello,” he squeaks, suddenly wondering once again if this had been a good idea or if Thorin will laugh himself silly at his bright idea to surprise him.   

“I have indeed,” Thranduil grins. “Allow me to introduce you to Mr Kili Oakenshield. Also known as my sweet lady friend Miss Violet Lace,” he winks at Kili as he steps aside.

Kili holds his hand out to the elderly gent.“Pleased to meet you, sir,” he says politely, feeling himself relax a little as the man named Dori shakes his hand. He slowly comes out from behind the tall man and gives Thranduil a little smile.

“And what a delight to meet you too, Miss Lace,” Dori shakes Kili’s hand as energetically as he had Thranduil’s. “So … a pretty frock for you it is, young man?”

Kili nods. “Yes please, sir,” he says, looking around the little shop. _But there are no dresses here, just smart gentlemen’s clothes,_ he thinks, curiously scanning the smart dressed mannequins. “Something  purple.”  

“Purple, of course! Purple for Miss Violet!” the tailor almost sings the words with excitement. He turns back to Thranduil. “And for you, sir? A lovely frock for Miss Star also?”

“Why, my friend, I sure would love to treat Miss Fanny to another of your exquisite pieces. But today we are here for Kili for he is going to impress his new husband, our lovely Mr Oakenshield.”

Dori raises his thick eyebrows at the youngster. “I see …” Then realisation dawns on him. “You mean … _The_ Mr Oakenshield?The barrister?!”

Kili looks at the shocked face and can feel himself begin to smile. “Yes, he means the barrister. He is my husband.” He then wonders if Thorin has ever been to this shop with Thranduil before. “Why, do you know him, sir?”

Thranduil begins to steer Kili towards the back of the shop as Dori beckons the two of them to follow him up the creaky wooden stairs. “Mr Hadlow here is a member too,” he whispers to Kili.

 _A member of what?_ Kili thinks then it dawns on him. “Oh…...oh I see,” he says loudly, following the other two and looking around the little attic room which is full of different fabrics of many colours and textures. “I did not know there were so many shades of colours,” he comments as he looks at different shades of purple.”

“Oh yes, shades and textures!” Dori pulls one of the rolls of a rich burgundy from the shelf and holds it up the Kili but shakes his head. “Too harsh.” He takes the boys chin in his hand and turns his head from side to side. “You have such fine features, such amazing skin. It needs something elegant and fine to compliment that.” He puts the roll back and picks up another. “You see, young man, tailoring is like painting. You have to select the right pallet, play with colours.” He rolls a bit of the fabric out and drapes it over Kili’s shoulder, looking at the American who watches the two of them with amusement. “What do you think?”

Thranduil nods in approval. “Lovely. With a white brocade?”

 _What on earth is a brocade?_ Kili wonders but nods not wanting to seem stupid. “I think that would be perfect,” he says, looking at the blond. He reaches out and touches the fabric feeling how soft the texture is “I have never worn anything this delicate before,” he admits reminding himself that he needs to be careful not to rip the thin material.

“Brocade! Oh yes perfect!” Dori yanks the fabric away again, shuffling towards another corner. “Purple brocade! With white lace. Of course, of course. Miss Violet Lace, it will be perfect, I can picture it already,” he continues to chatter much to himself as he moves heavy rolls around the small space.

Thranduil chuckles at Kili who just looks bewildered. He gives him a reassuring wink and then lets his own long fingers play with some of the soft fabrics. “What do you like, Kili?” he asks him softly. “Do you have any ideas at all?”

Kili looks around the room then spots a bright purple fabric on  a dummy with silver buttons. “I like this,” he thumbs the fabric and grins back at the dressmaker. “I think Thorin would like this.” Then he has an idea and fumbles with his ring around his neck. “Is there anyway we could put something blue into the design?” he asks showing the man the ring.

Dori looks at Kili’s choice and gleams. “You have a fine eye, young man. Purple and silver with a touch of blueooooh! Is that your wedding ring?!” His mouth falls positively open at the sight of the expensive jewel and his eyes grow wide. “Mr Oakenshield has spoiled his betrothed!”

Kili smiles at this. “He takes care of me very well,” he admits slipping the ring onto his finger and looking at the jewelled ring, unable to believe it is actually his. “He brought me this ring as a sign of his commitment to me. I am lucky.”

“Hm, he takes care of you _very_ well,” Thranduil whisper playfully in Kili’s ear as he steps up behind him.

Kili can feel his face turn scarlet as he thinks of the intimate night the American had shared with his gentleman and him and shifts uncomfortably. 

“So,” Thranduil pulls his face back into the stoic look befitting a gentleman and smiles warmly at Dori as he puts his hands on Kili’s shoulders. “Do you think you can fit our lovely Kili with something that would impress his gentleman?”

Kili can feel his colour return to normal then spots a black hat similar to Miss Fanny’s; black with  deep purple and black feathers. He rushes over to it, picking it up and placing it on his head. “Can I have a hat too?” he babbles, turning around to face the two gentlemen.

"Oh you're so cute! Fabulous!" the elderly tailor squeals with excitement, clapping his hands.

Thranduil grins. "Of course. A proper lady needs a hat. Gloves also. You're going to blow Thorin away, little one. No more his streetrat."

Kili grins, taking off the hat and returning it to the wooden shelf where he had spotted it. “Do I get shoes too?” he asks, returning to Thranduil’s side. _This is actually quite fun. More fun than shopping for gentleman’s clothes!_

"You can borrow a pair of my boots for now," Thranduil nods to his protégé, happy that Kili is getting into the spirit so much. "And I'll teach you how to walk like a lady."

"We had best take some measurements then, young man," Dori holds up the tape measure. "Arms wide please."

Kili pulls out his arms to the side. “How long will it take to make?” he asks, watching Dori as he measures along his arms and writes the measurements on a piece of paper.

"Usually a few weeks, but I have the pattern for this still and I have no other orders for _this_ part of my shop at the moment. I will do my best to have to have it finished by the end of next week."

Kili can feel excitement flood over him and  actually jumps up and down “That's perfect. It will be a nice surprise.” _He'd better notice me in this,_ he adds in his head.

Dori continues to scribble numbers on his little notepad, moving Kili this way and that.

"A nice surprise for our hard working barrister," Thranduil smiles, his fingers playing with the feathers on the hat that Kili had put on.

Kili nods in agreement as the tailor mutters measurements to himself. “Yes, I will cook him a feast too,” he smiles. “Would Miss Fanny like to join us for dinner that night too?” He has a sudden desire for a repeat of the other night and feels his face colour.

Thranduil stills his sleek hand as he can hear the unspoken part of Kili's invitation. He closes his eyes a moment as he recalls the night the three of them had shared and smiles. "I should think Miss Fanny would be delighted," he nods his head to the teenager, a smirk playing around his lips, although he wonders how Thorin would feel about Kili’s invitation.

Kili can tell by the blond gentleman’s smile he had taken the invitation for what it is, he gives a little naughty giggle as he becomes excited. “Good. I shall cook roast pork, with spotted dick for afters,” he winks at his elder.   

“You are a little wench,” Thranduil sniggers. “Are you all done, my friend?” he asks Dori. “So that I can take this young man back home before we overstep anymore boundaries.”

Dori looks curiously at the American, but says nothing. “Yes, all done.” To Kili he smiles, “you are free to go now. I need you to come back in a week to try the garment on and make any final adjustments. Is that possible, young man?”

Kili nods with a massive grin on his face. “Thank you Mister, that is fine.” He holds out his hand and shakes the dressmaker’s hand. “It was a pleasure to meet you, sir.”

“And you, young man. I promise you it will be a beautiful piece. You will impress your gentleman.”

Thranduil shakes hands with the tailor also. “Thank you, as always it was a pleasure to do business. Send the bill to my usual postal address. We shall be back next week. Unless I see you at Mother Claps before then.”

When they walk out of the little shop Kili turns to face the American. “Thank you for bringing me here, Mister Thranduil.” He wraps his scarf around his neck. “You must let me know the bill. I shall pay for the clothing out of my wages.”

“I will have none of that,” Thranduil holds out his cane to stop a carriage for them. “My gift to you. Consider it a wedding present,” he winks at his young friend, allowing him to climb into the carriage first.

Kili holds out his hand for the blond and helps him into the carriage. “You are too kind,” he states, taking out his watch and checking the time. “I said I would meet Thorin outside his work at midday. Would it be possible to drop me off on The strand?” 

+++

Thorin takes off his wig, passing it to the court attendant to be brushed off and put away. Today’s outcome had been as expected and he felt content in himself that he had given his all and could have done no more. But that did not change the heavy feeling that now lies across his shoulders like a brick. He takes off his robes also and puts on his own suit jacket again, followed by his gloves and finally his top hat. As he walks out of the building he taps the brim of his hat to one of his colleagues but then makes a hasty exit, not wishing to dwell here longer than he needs to and run the risk of his counterpart rubbing in his defeat.

When he steps out onto the street the day feels far too bright to accompany his dark mood and if it wasn’t for the fact that he had agreed to meet with Kili he would surely have turned into the nearest public house to enjoy some liquid relief.

Kili scans the crowded street for his beloved, occasionally tilting his hat to a near by gentleman. The second he spots Thorin his heart begins to flutter and he has to resist the urge not to run down the street to him and claim his lips. Instead he just smiles brightly. “Good afternoon, Mr Oakenshield,” he says in greeting.  

“Good afternoon, Mr Durin,” Thorin tips his hat, smiling as would be appropriate out on the street. “Have you had a pleasant morning?” He begins to walk slightly ahead of Kili, but trying to keep his pace at a level so that Kili doesn’t have to half run after him.

“Yes, very good thank you, sir,” Kilisays, not wanting to go into too much detail and spoil the surprise. “I just browsed the shops. How was your morning?”

“As expected,” Thorin answers curtly. “Let us get something to eat. Are you hungry?”

Kili’s stomach gives a loud growl at Thorin’s words and he gives out a little laugh. “I think that is a yes. Did you want to have something to eat?” he asks quietly so only Thorin can hear him. 

Thorin keeps his step as he leads Kili onto Fleet Street and towards The Old Bell. He stops on the doorstep and turns to Kili to open the door for him, raising an eyebrow at him.

For a second Kili just stares at his lover, then remembers his place, hastily rushing forward and opening the door wide. His eyes follow Thorin resting on his buttocks. _He really has got a nice bum._

“Pint?” Thorin asks his lover. He knows he is playing a two-pronged game here, once more blurring the boundaries of their relationship. However this pub is not one where any of his colleagues frequent and if they seat themselves near the back they might not draw any unwanted attention. He doesn’t want to high dine today. He is not particularly hungry and he knows Kili will feel more comfortable in a place like this than somewhere where there is more cutlery than necessary and the customers will understand from Kili’s dress that he is only a valet and not a gentleman. Here they will both draw equal raised eyebrows before the regulars undoubtedly will return their attention to their drinks and games.

He places the order with the barman and points to the blackboard for Kili to choose something from the bar menu.

Kili nods then gulps. “Thorin, I….I can’t read the menu,” he states, flushing red, “Can you tell me what they have?” he asks, feeling like a little child. _I hate this, I need to practice more._   

Thorin could curse himself for not even giving that a second thought. “Come here,” he smiles to his young beloved, leading him closer to the board. “We will read it together. You know some of these words.”

Kili screws up his eyes as he examines the letters, noting it is not as fancy and neat as Thorin’s. “S…..that’s an S,” he says reading the first letter. “Does that say soup?” he guesses, pronouncing each letter separately.

“It does,” Thorin smiles, only barely refraining from putting an arm around his lover and kissing him as he does at home when he gets his letters right. He reads out the rest of the menu to Kili, stopping at words that Kili knows by now such as _fish_ and _pie_  to let him practise. “So, Mr Durin, what would you like?”

Kili licks his lips, finding it hard to choose between all the delicious sounding food. “Please can I have…. the fish?” he asks then thinks about this again, torn between all the dishes on the menu. “No actually can I have the beef stew?”   

“Of course, you can have whatever you like,” Thorin smiles. He bends himself a little towards Kili and whispers, “but don’t expect it to be anywhere near as good as what you cook for me.” He straightens himself again. “Would you order the soup for me please. With a bread roll. I will find us a table near the back.”

“Yes, sir,” Kili replies, ordering the food from the barman, then following Thorin over to a table by a small open fire, taking the seat opposite. “This is nice,” he says quietly, resisting the urge to grab Thorin’s hand. Instead he takes a large sip of ale.

“Yes,” Thorin concurs. He tries his best to appear upbeat. He knows he has not given Kili much attention these last few days and although the worst of this damned case is yet to come, he cannot change the outcome anymore now and should let it slip from his mind for at least this afternoon. “So, did you buy anything nice?” he enquires, anything to keep his mind occupied.

Kili bites his lip, not wanting to tell his lover a lie. “You will have to wait and see.” He smiles with a glimmer in his eye. “It is a surprise,” he babbles excitedly thinking about the dress and gives a little giggle. “It is to cheer you up.” 

“To cheer me up?” Thorin looks at the brunet in surprise. “A surprise? Why, I _am_ intrigued. And when might I _enjoy_ my surprise?” he asks in a low voice.

“In a week. You have been a little distracted these last few days.” Just then the barman brings over their food to the table. “This smells wonderful,” Kili comments, taking a large mouthful of stew. “Tastes good too.”

Thorin absentmindedly dunks his bread roll in his bowl of soup, missing the irony when he has to ask Kili what he just said.

“I have missed you.” Kili admits quietly putting down his spoon and reaching for the ale again. “I know you have been busy with work but you have shut yourself away and I have barely seen you. It is nice to spend some time together,” the teen admits, taking a deep mouthful then returning to his food. 

“Yes. Yes, you are right,” Thorin smiles at his lover, adding in a whisper. “I am sorry I have not taken care of us as well as I should have. After tomorrow …” He grabs his jug and takes a long tug. “After tomorrow things will be back to normal for a while. I will make it up to you.” He gives Kili a quick wink before he takes a bite out of the bread roll. “I thought on our way home we could get some game meat for one of your amazing pies. And then we could stop at the bookstore on Chancery Lane …?”

“Yes please, why are we going to a book shop? I have never been to one before,” Kili says enthusiastically then takes in the rest of what Thorin has said. “You have a lot to make up for,” he whispers, tucking into the rest of his meal. “If we get some plums I can make sugared plum pie.”  

“That sounds delicious,” Thorin wipes his mouth and leans back, finishing his ale also. “Well, I thought now that you working so hard on your letters it would be a good time for you to buy a book.”

“A book for me?” Kili says a little too loudly in his excitement, remembering to lower his voice as people begin to look at them. “Really? My first book,” he smiles.

Thorin struggles to keep that loving smile off his face at Kili’s enthusiasm. “You have earned it. Now how was your stew?” he quickly changes the subject. “I am glad you are eating properly these days. You were a bag of bones when you started working for me. Now at least you don’t look like you might snap in a breeze.”

Kili laughs at Thorin’s statement. “Me in all, I don’t know how I coped before. An apple used to last me a whole day,” he admits, pushing his now empty plate away and leaning back in his seat. “That truly was delicious. And how is yours?”

“Yes, fine,” Thorin smiles tiredly. “Are you finished? Shall we go then?”

+++

As they walk towards The Strand Kili can feel himself become a little nervous as certain memories come back to him. As they turn a corner he can feel his heart in his chest when he notes a greying man stood outside a little shop. He gets a flashback of the night he had run away and feels his colour drain. Please don’t recognise me, don’t recognise me! he repeats over and over again as they near the shop.

The grey haired shopkeeper looks at the gentleman walking up the street and is about to wish him a good afternoon, when he notes the young man with him. His years in the retail business had taught him never to forget a face and the moment the boy’s eyes nervously meet his he can feel his blood boil. “You!” he hisses at the young man.

Thorin halts at the shout of the shopkeeper, his mouth almost dropping to the floor as the address before he realises the man is looking right through him at Kili. His head snaps from one to the other and takes a stride up to the shopkeeper. “Excuse me?” he cocks his head, towering over the man. “Was that me you called out to?”

“Not you. The thief!” the man hisses, pointing at Kili, who stands quietly looking at the pavement. “That boy stole from me four nights ago , by god I shall make sure he never steals from another!” he growls and walks closer to Kili, grabbing hold of his coat so he cannot run off.

Thorin grabs Kili’s coat by the other shoulder and slams his cane down on the pavement to warn the man to take his hands of his property. “This is my valet you are accusing of such a crime,” Thorin says under his breath, grinding his teeth, as he forces the elderly to take a few steps back towards his shop. “You accuse my staff, I will see that you raise the matter with me in the appropriate way. I do not handle such accusations on the street pavement like a market vendor.” And he drags Kili behind him towards the shop entrance, knowing full well that the accusation is anything but false.

Kili’s gut instinct tells him to flee but he remembers his promise and in any case finds himself in a death grip as Thorin grabs hold of his shoulder tight, pulling him into the shop. He looks into the shop keeper’s face and opens his mouth to speak when Thorin squeezes tighter, warning him to remain silent, and his eyes fall to his wet boots.

Thorin pushes the door closed behind them and turns the sign from open to closed. “Why sir, care to explain why you are calling out to my staff on the streets of London?” He takes care not to look at Kili, just holds him in a tight grip through which to convey his messages.

“Your valet is a thief, sir,” the elderly man states glaring at the gentleman. “He stole an expensive bottle of brandy and some bread,” he thunders, watching the boy squirm under his master’s grip.

Thorin can feel his nerves fray as Kili has guilt written across his face, but he keeps his own mask on as he stares hard into the older man’s eyes. “That is very a serious accusation. And you have proof beyond doubt that it was my valet here?”

“It was your valet here, sir,” the business owner snaps, feeling his temper rise. “I would recognise him anywhere. If you can put up with a thief in your household then that’s up to you, but I shall not put up with it in my shop. I shall see him arrested.”

“Do not make a fool of yourself,” Thorin snaps. “Why would my valet steel such things from your shop when he has enough coin in his pocket to buy out your shop? Now unless you have more solid proof than your tongue and failing eyesight, sir, I will see you retract your accusation and apologise.” He pulls one of his visiting cards out of his breast pocket and hands it pointedly to the shop owner.

The elderly man narrows his eyes at the tall gentleman and opens his mouth to argue then quickly closes it again eyeing the man’s demeanour. He looks at the card and resigns himself to defeat knowing he will not be able to prove his accusation. “I guess I may have been mistaken, sir. I apologise.” Nasty little thief! he adds in his head.

“Very well,” Thorin nods curtly and steers Kili out of the door. “Goodday,” he calls back, closing the door behind him once more.

“Walk,” he hisses in Kili’s ear, throwing him a warning shot.

Kili can see the hidden rage and gulps, walking forward as told. He can feel anger radiating off of Thorin and looks anywhere but at his face as he is marched down the road.

+++

As soon as they reach their residence, Thorin shoves Kili through the door and slams it behind them, making Kili jolt and shrink.

Kili backs down the hall trying to get as much distance between himself and his angry beloved as possible “ I…. I am sorry,”  he utters, his voice barely above a whisper.                   

Thorin stares at his lover with thunderous eyes. “You stupid boy!” Thorin growls, pointing towards the living room in a silent order. “What on earth is the matter with you?!”

Kili makes his way into the living room looking at the floor the whole time. “I made a mistake, I was scared,” he says, moving his hair in front of his eyes, grateful that it had grown long enough again to hide his face from sight.

“Sit down!” Thorin bellows. It takes all his self-restraint not to raise his hand at Kili and he has to turn his back on him, grabbing for the brandy bottle instead just to keep his hands occupied. “You made me look like a fool. I had to lie to an honest and hard-working man because of your behaviour.” He snaps his jaw shut, letting the words sink in. “Why in god’s name were you scared?” he asks, turning to look at his young lover again.

“B….because it was the night I ran away.” Kili says, taking a seat on the edge of the sofa “I… I thought I was going to end up working for Aunt Molly again. Would that not make you scared?” Kili asks, trying to stop tears from leaving his eyes.

“Don’t you dare!” Thorin points a shaking finger at Kili then drags his hand across his face. “Damn, Kili! Do you have any idea at all?! Any idea why I have spent the last few days and nights working my backside off? For a troublemaker like you!” His voice cracks under the strain of trying not to shout at the top of his voice.

He downs his glass and glares at Kili again. “You have shamed me,” he says coldly, keeping his eyes trained on the youngster. “You will think about your actions and their consequences as you make yourself useful around the house. I do not wish to see you for the rest of the day.” And with that he storms out of the living room and slams the door to his study behind him.

Kili lets out a large sob as he hears the study door shut he buries his face into the sofa, he can feel his body shake as tears roll down his face after a couple of minutes. He wipes his eyes onto his shirt and walks into the kitchen and searches the cupboards for something to bake  and starts to busy himself with cooking trying to ignore his upset and hurt.

Thorin can hear the noises coming from the kitchen and tries to block them out as he bends himself over his paperwork. He hates arguing with Kili and it feels like recently that is all they do. But as he reads the sentence that lies before him he is starkly reminded exactly why he is so angry with him. In his fury he screws up the piece of paper and throws it across the room, pouring himself another glass and downing it in one. He lets his head fall back against the soft leather of his chair, closing his eyes. His head is throbbing and he feels completely and utterly exhausted now, but he knows he has work to finish before tomorrow. He lights his pipe and fills his glass again, before he starts to flicks through the papers that he needs to sign..

After a couple of hours Kili slowly approaches his love’s study with a bowl of almond soup, bread and cold sliced beef  placed upon a tray. He gently places the tray onto the floor and taps the door, running down  the corridor as he hears Thorin’s chair move. He sits himself in front of the fire and warms his cold hands.

Thorin pulls open the door, ready to remind Kili that he had ordered not to be disturbed. But his anger evaporates at the sight of the dinner placed before his study and he actually has to swallow down an emotional sob. He bends down to pick up the tray and carries it towards the lounge.

“Thank you,” he says with a thick throat against Kili’s back.

Kili jumps and gets up from his spot in front of the fire. “You are welcome, sir,” he says and hurries towards the kitchen to make himself scarce, but Thorin stops him in his tracks. “Don’t run off,” he says. “Let us eat together.”

“I'm not very hungry,” Kili mumbles but sits in a chair around the table just the same, not wishing to make Thorin any more angry than he already is. “I am sorry,” he says once again looking at the wood of the table, unable to look at his beloved’s eyes, scared of seeing anger still in them.

“I know you are, Kili,” Thorin says, uncorking the wine bottle that is on the table. “Will you get us some glasses please. And a plate for you. I will not eat my dinner alone as you watch me like a hungry alley cat,” he attempts to smile in what he hopes is a reassuring manner, but he can see Kili is wary of him.

Kili retrieves two wine glasses from the kitchen and plates himself up some of the simple dinner too to save another argument. He hands his lover a glass then slowly takes his seat at the table and accepts a large glass from Thorin taking a huge gulp in the hope it will steady his nerves.

Thorin takes a large mouthful of the tender cold meat. “This is delicious,” he smiles at his lover, willing Kili to relax. “You truly can make a meal out of anything.” He hates it when the youngster is fearful of him long after his anger has subsided and he wishes so much for Kili to just be his happy and enthusiastic beloved again. He reached out to take his hand, only to find Kili flinching away from him.

He sighs and puts his knife and fork down. “Kili, you must understand why I was angry earlier.”

Kili nods and slowly moves his hand back towards his love, a little apprehensive still. “Yes, I do,” he says quietly, looking at his food. He picks up his folk sticking it into the sliced beef and  begins to nibble at it.

“You took a great risk,” he says seriously. “I do hope you understand how close a call that was. And how I put my neck on the line for you.”

“I do” Kili says again and puts down his fork. “I know I should not have done it and I do promise you it will not happen again. I don’t want to lose you,” Kili utters.

“It is not a case of you losing me. If you are ever caught then I may well lose you. Forever. Do you understand? I thought I had explained this clearly to you before. What happens to thieves in London.”

Kili nods finally looking into Thorin’s eyes. “You have, I don’t know what came over me,” he says softly, taking Thorin’s hand in his and placing a soft kiss on it. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Kili,” Thorin takes his beloved’s hand this time and presses a kiss against it in a mirror gesture. “You are coming with me tomorrow,” he decides. He had thought about it long and hard over the last few hours, weighing up all the pros and cons of that decision. But he feels it is the only way to make Kili truly understand that these are not just idle threats.

“Where are we going?” Kili asks. He normally loves to go anywhere with Thorin but feels nervous at Thorin’s tone.  

“To the Old Bailey. To show you what happens to thieves,” Thorin answers curtly. “Now eat,” he nods to Kili’s plate, chomping on the slightly stale bread himself, washing it away with ample wine.

Kili opens his mouth to argue that he does not want to go to the Old Bailey not really remembering what the Old Bailey is but knowing whatever it is he does not want to find out but closes his mouth again, taking up his cutlery, and takes a little mouthful.

They finish their meal in silence and after a quick after dinner smoke Thorin informs Kili that he is going to bed and that he advices the youngster to do the same as he will need to be up early in the morning. He does not wait for his lover’s reply as he walks into the bedroom. Almost as soon as he has shed his clothes and pulled on his nightgown he drifts off to yet another deep but restless sleep.

Kili still feels a little on edge. He sits at the table unsure what to do. He wants to go into the bedroom and snuggle up against his beloved, but finds himself still a little fearful. After a couple of minutes he sighs and walks over to the little sofa he used to sleep on and wraps the blanket that is still under the sofa around him and looks into the fire, until the fire dies away. As a chill creeps into the room he pulls the blanket up higher and sleep finally comes to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dori written by LadyLuna (who appears to have a thing for writing camp gay men ...)  
> Shopkeep written by witchesdelite


	55. Newgate Gaol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> !WARNING WARNING WARNING!
> 
> Chapter contains fairly graphic descriptions of an execution through hanging. If you really do not wish to read the chapter can be skipped, but it is important for the rest of the story and will be referenced to in future chapters.

Thorin feels panicked when he finds the bed next to him empty. He shoots upright, immediately regretting the motion as his head throbs violently and his stomach churns to the point where he has to reach for the bedpan to throw up. “Damn!” he growls under his breath, remembering faintly quite how much he had drunk the previous night and how little they had eaten.

As soon as the world stops spinning and his stomach settles enough he rushes out of bed, grabbing his chamber coat of the door hook. “Kili?!” he shouts louder than he needs to in the small apartment. “KILI!”

Kili jumps at the bellow, sitting up straight. “What’s wrong?” he calls jumping off the sofa and pulling the blanket around him. “Are you okay?”

Thorin races over to his young lover and pulls him into a bone crushing embrace. “Lord in heaven, I thought you were gone!” he says breathlessly. “I woke up and you were not there!” He pulls back and holds Kili by his shoulders, frowning at the blanket he is clutching. “Did you sleep on the sofa? Why on earth did you sleep on the sofa?!”

“You were angry, I did not want to disturb you,” Kili says, looking deep into Thorin’s eyes. “I promised you no more running away,” he mumbles, looking down at his clothing from last night which he is still wearing. “I forgot to get changed.”

Thorin sighs and shakes his head. “You silly young man. Yes, I was angry. But you are my husband! I still want to share our marital bed with you, not to have my betrothed sleep on the sofa.” He leans in to kiss Kili then changes his mind as he remembers he had been sick. “I think I drank a little too much yesterday,” he says a little sheepishly. “Let me freshen up.”

Kili kisses Thorin on the cheek instead. “I am sorry if I scared you,” he apologises. “I think I should freshen up too and change my clothing. Would you like me to run you a bath?” the brunet offers fiddling with his ring on his finger.

“Thank you, my love. We don’t have time for that, however. A quick wash with the washcloth will have to suffice. And I have some clothes for you that I need you to wear. You are not coming along as my valet today. Rather as my apprentice.”

Kili frowns at this. “Why am I coming as your apprentice? And why can I not wear my usual clothes?” he asks, bending towards the fire to so he can heat some water. _I would feel much more comfortable in my own clothes._

Thorin furrows his brow at Kili’s questions, blinking against the throbbing in his brain. “Because I say so, Kili,” he says curtly.

“I’m sorry, “Kili apologises. “I just wondered what the importance is that I am not seen as your servant.” He stokes the fire feeling a little annoyed at Thorin’s tone when he had only asked a question.

“Because,” Thorin decides he has to explain some of it so that Kili can play the part, “this is a business meeting I will be attending. And it would not be appropriate for you to accompany me as my servant. There will be very few people there and I need you to be on your very best behaviour. You keep asking me if you can pass as a gentleman, why this will be your chance to prove it.”

Kili nods. “And I will prove it to you.” he says determinedly. “I will make you proud of me.”

+++

“Thorin, why are we going to the Old Bailey?” Kili asks for the tenth time since they had left the rooms. He has to jog to keep up with his lover as they rush through the streets of London, which seem to get busier the further they walk.

Thorin walks on with a grim determination. "Keep walking," he orders as he brushes past people, thumping his cane down onto the street with every step as he watches others dart out of his way.

Kili does as he is told, trying to keep pace with his lover who takes long strides along the cobbled streets. He wraps the coat around him and eyes the people they pass and notes them moving out of the way. _They seem almost frightened!_ he realises with shock and opens his mouth to ask his lover why but shuts it again quickly sensing his mood.

As they pass the criminal courts front entrance, Thorin grabs Kili by the upper arm, steering him past the entrance to the Old Bailey towards Newgate Gaol just behind the courts. He had intentionally refrained from mentioning the word prison to Kili up until now, guessing he would freak out by that alone, regardless of what lay behind those doors.

Kili gulps as he looks at the massive building. “Sir, why are here? Is this the Old Bailey?” he squeaks, his voice becoming higher as he gets more nervous and fearful. He tries to move a little but finds Thorin’s grip tighten.

“It is linked to the Old Bailey,” Thorin mumbles under his breath. “This is Newgate Gaol." Leaning in even closer he says harshly in Kili’s ear, “I have tried to tell you, but you do not heed my words. So today I'll show you what fate awaits you if you do not buck up your ideas.” He straightens himself again, putting on his stoic mask of authority as he leads Kili towards the prison guardroom, showing his visiting card to the warden.

Kili can feel his body begin to shudder as they enter the prison. He can hear screams echo through the whole building. “I promised I would steal again. Is that why we are here? Are you going to have me locked up?” he asks all colour draining from his face.

Thorin looks sideways at his lover, raising an eyebrow. For a moment he considers letting Kili believe just that and if it wasn't for their appointment he might well have done so. But he curtly shakes his head. "No. Although it sounds tempting at times."

Kili gives a sigh of relief at this and he realises he had held his breath waiting for Thorin's reply. “So why _are_ we here?”

Thorin clears his throat, throwing Kili a stern look. _Quiet!_ he mouths to him then turns to the conversation with the warden who eventually gets to his feet, picking up a heavy key ring.

“Follow me, Master Durin,” Thorin nods to Kili as he falls in step behind the warden who leads them through several heavy thick oaken doors.

Kili has to fight the urge to flee and falls in step behind his lover looking at the floor. The further they walk down the corridor the eerier the place becomes. He wishes Thorin could offer words of comfort to ease his anxiety and looks up at his face but sees no comfort, just a grim expression on it.     

After the warden has unlocked the final door he steps aside for Thorin and his young assistant to enter the dead-end room, giving the gentlemen a polite nod.

Thorin steps inside the small room, his shoes and cane sounding loud and hollow on the wooden planks in the barren space. He waits for Kili to step inside the room beside him and watches him closely as his wide brown eyes dart nervously around the room.

Kili jumps as the door shuts heavily behind them. _What is this room?_ he asks himself, wishing he could ask Thorin. “What do we do now?” he asks quietly instead, getting as close to Thorin as he thinks would be acceptable. He wishes he could hold Thorin’s gloved hand to find a little comfort but knows he cannot and shoves his hands into his coat pocket.

Thorin slowly walks the perimeter of the small room, all the while keeping his eyes on the rectangular bit of flooring in the middle of the room that is of a darker colour than the rest of the floorboards. "Now we wait for the others to arrive. And then the executioner will demonstrate the gallows to us," he nods grimly to the structure that spans the trapdoor. "Confirming that all works as it should before my client is brought down." He has walked the full perimeter of the room now and for the first time since they'd arrived here looks into Kili's big brown eyes, seeing the fear and shock in there.

Kili gasps at this as full weight of why he has been brought here sinks in. A wave of nausea comes upon him and all the colour drain from his face. “Okay you have made your point. I promise I won’t steal again. Can we go now please?” he begs, feeling his body begin to shudder.

There is a brief flicker of doubt in Thorin's mind, when his lover's fear eats at him. _Perhaps we should leave. Perhaps this is really enough to scare him into behaving._ But before he has a chance to change his mind the door opens again and the gaol governor enters with four other men in tow,  who Thorin identifies as the undersheriff, the surgeon who would ultimately confirm the prisoner’s passing and sign the death certificate, Lord Amberley, the judge, and of course, mask already pulled down his face, the hangman.

Thorin turns to the new arrivals and holds out his hand. "Good morning," he greets the governor politely and pushes Kili forward. "Your warden was so kind to let us in here so I could show my apprentice. This is Kili Durin." And he gently pushes Kili forward.

“Good morning, young man,” a balding man in a brown suit says in greeting and holds out his hand to Kili who warily takes it.

“Go...good morning” Kili stutters nervously. He looks at the door wondering if he can make a quick escape, but one glare from his lover halts him in his tracks as he remembers his promise to his lover not to run off.  He tries to make himself appear calm.

“Mr Rievley is the gaol governor,” Thorin smiles awkwardly to Kili, indicating the man they had greeted. He knows they are stuck where they are now and he cannot help but feel a sudden empathy for his lover. _It could be him!_ he reminds himself why he had made this decision. _If he carries on with that reckless behaviour he'll be the one meeting his doom in this hell hole. This is for his own good._

Kili nods, not trusting himself to talk due to fear of being sick. _Why has he brought me to this place? I promised him I would never steal again, why is my word not good enough?_ But he already knows the reply Thorin would give if he says any of this out loud. His eyes scan the room nervously eventually resting upon the floor. He tries to hide his fear from the others in the room but feels his body judder.

“Good morning gentlemen, Lord Amberley,” Thorin nods to the other men, and his senior in law in particular.

"Morning, Mr Oakenshield" the grey haired lord replies “It's a shame we seem to always meet under these circumstances,” he adds gravely.

Thorin nods solemnly. Lord Amberley had been a friend of his father and had given him a lot of help and support in his early years at the bar. “Indeed. Perhaps we could convene some time in a more comforting environment.”  

Kili looks up at the gentleman and holds his hand out knowing Thorin will expect him to be polite and courteous despite the current situation. As soon as the greetings have all been done he tries to shuffle himself towards the corner of the room hoping to draw any attention away from himself.

Thorin is forced to make polite conversation with the others for a while, but his eyes keep flicking over to Kili. He wishes to give him some comfort, but equally he knows that is not why they are here.

Eventually the governor pulls everyone's attention to the centre of the room, proudly announcing the demonstration as if it were of the latest invention to make life more convenient, rather than a contraption made solely for the purpose of ending another man's life.

Thorin now walks over to Kili, putting his large hand on his shoulder as he stands behind him. Kili finds a little comfort in this gesture but knows it has dual purpose as well as reassuring him a little it also to stop him running off. His eyes fix on a loop of rope hung from a thick iron bar which sways gently from side to side. _I want to go home._ He looks up at Thorin hoping to see comfort but instead sees a grimace. _I don't want to see this. I won't. I will close my eyes,_ he thinks and fixes them on the ground.

Thorin barely hears what the executioner is saying. For a start he knows all too damn well how the whole thing works and he feels none of the wicked excitement that the man seems to have for his grim job. All he can focus on is the slight trembling that he feels in Kili's lean frame and the obvious terror that radiates from him.

When the man pulls the lever and the trapdoor snaps open he jolts almost as much as his lover when Kili nearly jumps out of his skin with fright.

“Do I really have to watch this?” Kili asks quietly so only Thorin can hear him. He is on the verge of tears. “I don’t want to, I have learnt my lesson," he promises shaking so bad he is unable to keep the judder from his voice.

Thorin ignores the plea from the youngster as he in turn gives his confirmation that the gallows operate satisfactorily and gives his consent for the prisoner to be brought down.

He watches the governor and undersheriff disappear and then turns to look at Kili, seeing the terror burning in his eyes. _Good. He needs to see the truth, he needs to see that I don’t just speak hollow words like tales to frighten a young child into good behaviour. This is real, this is what will happen if he does not stop stealing!_ But he cannot help feeling a deep rooted need to protect his young lover and has to fight the urge to scoop him into his arms and run away from this evil place with him.

Kili now scans the room frantically trying to find an escape route. He feels as if he is the one who is being condemned here. Then a crazy idea enters his mind _This is not real. Thorin has set this up to scare me._ He knows deep down this is not true but grabs hold of this idea not wanting to believe the truth. _These are all just actors.  It's one giant plot to get me to behave._  

Those remaining inside the small room all turn towards the door when it opens and the warders bring out the condemned man followed by the prison's priest. Thorin looks upon him with a mixture of frustration and pity. Frustration that he had lost this case for his client, even though he had known almost from the outset that there was little hope to overturn this case as the evidence was overwhelming. And pity as he sees that look of resignation that signals a man who has already died before he has even stepped up to the gallows; a look which haunts him in his dreams each time he attends one of these executions.

They exchange a brief look. There is nothing more to say. Technically he does not need to be here but he always had. It felt like the final thing he owed a client who he has been unable to save from the gallows. His client just shrugs and averts gaze, clearly not caring one way or another whether Thorin is there.

Kili looks into the face of the man in front of him and is shocked to see his youthful features. _He can only be a few years older than me!_  he realises with horror and can feel his eyes widen. He scans his face for any emotions and is shocked when the young man locks eyes with him seeing no emotions in them just emptiness and a certain resignation to his fate. _Poor boy. “_ Is there nothing we can do to save him?” he asks quietly.

He knows he should have just ignored the comment, after all it is not meant as a criticism of him only Kili wanting to help someone whose life had been forfeited, but Thorin can't help but take it personal and he finds his face cloud over as he growls in Kili's ear, "What exactly do you think I've been trying to do these last few days and nights when you have whined about a lack of my commitment to you?!"

“I did not mean anything by asking that.” Kili snaps but goes quiet at this looking away from the young prisoner wishing he had some words of comfort for him but can find none. “What did he do?” he asks quietly but already can guess the answer.  _He is a thief like you!_ He wishes he could hide behind Thorin and bury his face into his coat. But knows he cannot instead looks at the floor.

Thorin swallows his anger, giving Kili a sympathetic look. "We'll discuss it later," he says quietly returning his gaze to his client but taking a small step closer so that he can brush his finger gently against the back of Kili's hand in a silent gesture of comfort and apology for his snappy response.

He looks around the room, at faces set hard. Few words are spoken as everyone feels the heaviness of what they are about to witness. None of these people other than Kili are new to this. But Thorin knows that it makes very little difference; this will be his fourteenth hanging here inside the walls of Newgate and it becomes never easier.

Kili regrets looking at the floor as his eyes move to the trap door. He swallows down a little sob. _This cannot be real, It just can't._ He listens to the priest praying for the boy soul. He can feel Thorin’s finger against his hand,  and grabs it as he hears the boy being led into the centre of the room  screwing his eyes tight “Wake up Kili,” he pleads hoping this is just all some nightmare and he will open his eyes and be tucked in bed by his lover.

Thorin's instinct is to yank his hand away, but no-one is paying any attention to them anyway and since he cannot hold Kili properly to give him more comfort he allows Kili to hold tight onto his finger.

He watches Benjamin Flannery being guided onto the trapdoor, the wardens holding him by each arm, his own feet apparently barely able to take the necessary steps as his spirit is already gone. He had witnessed men and in particularly the one woman he had seen hanged who had struggled against their captors until the very last moments and for Kili's sake he is grateful that Mr Flannery is not taking that approach for he had found that far more traumatic himself.

In the distance he can hear the prison bell toll to announce the hour, which momentarily interrupts the monotonous mutterings of the clergyman praying for the man’s soul. And he can feel Kili tense to the point he think the skinny teen might snap from anxiety as the hangman  pulls on the noose  to test it is secured properly. He silently wishes for him to hurry up, for this all to be over now for everyone's sake but most of all his lover's.

Kili can feel his breath hitch as the rope is looped around the boy’s neck and buries his face in his love's arm not caring if anyone is watching. “I want to go,” he orders quietly into Thorin's arm. He feels as if his own feet might give way. _Run you fool!_ He yells in his mind wishing the boy had some form of escape.

Thorin shrugs lose his arm, perhaps a little more harshly than he wishes too, but he hisses under his breath to Kili to remember his place. The whole agonising set up seems to take forever, even if in reality it can only be a couple of minutes at most before the cap is pulled over the young man’s head. His eyes follow the gentle swaying of his client as the clergyman finishes the last words of his prayer and in his peripheral vision he can see the magistrate give the nod as the executioner reaches for the lever.

Kili’s eyes widen in horror once again at the realisation that the boy really is going to be hanged and screws his eyes shut turning his head the opposite direction. He can hear the trapdoor snap open and a rope tightening, followed by a snap which you could almost mistake as a twig breaking not bones.

Kili can feel a wave of panic and rushes over to the corner.  He can feel his body wrench. His mouth fills with bile which he spits out on the floor. Tears run down his cheeks which he hastily wipes away with his sleeve.

Thorin knows he has to stay where he is, that he cannot go rushing over to stoop over his lover like a mother hen. He balls his hands, trying not to listens to Kili's retching nor the sickening swaying of the deceased.

After just a few moments which feel like hours the executioner slowly lowers the noose to allow the hanged man to be taken down and checked by the physician. Thorin shudders; this bit he hates more than the hanging itself as a haunting memory from his childhood comes into his mind. Whilst the others are focused on the confirmation of death, he slowly walks over to Kili and puts a hand on his shoulder. "Come, get up," he says with authority but not harshly.

Kili unsteadily gets to his feet. Feeling his body begin to sway and his legs feel like they are about to give out. “C... Can we go?” he stutters feeling weak. His eyes move to the large doors and he takes a few uneasy steps.

Thorin looks to the physician who gives the nod to the executioner and governor, checking his pocket watch to note the time of death down. He turns to one of the wardens and asks him if he could please escort his assistant outside. “I will not be long,” he nods to Kili. “Wait for me outside please.”

“Yes, sir,” Kili utters, running to the exit and down the corridor to the entrance. As soon as he is outside he leans against the wall and vomits again trying to forget the sound of the boy’s neck breaking but it is all he can think about “Oh god,” he utters to himself wiping the back of his hand with his coat sleeve.

When Thorin finally has exchanged all the necessary exchanges with the other gentlemen he has a hard time not to rush down the corridor after his young lover. He just about remembers to sign out with the warden’s office and retain his professional composure. But when he finally reaches the outside world he is almost gasping for air.

“Kili …” He wishes to rush over and wrap his arms around his lover as he sees him slumped against the wall, looking white as a sheet. _No, you cannot!_ he reminds himself and walks over with measured pace. “Are you … alright?”

The brunet shakes his head. “I need to get as far away from here as possible,” he says weakly daring not to let go of the wall. “I'm going to be sick again,” he utters, urging and leans over again.

Thorin’s hand hovers over Kili’s back for a moment, but he quickly retracts it, aware of eyes on them, and he reluctantly turns his back on his lover, pushing down the deep ache in his heart. “Let us go home,” he says sternly and begins to walk towards the road to hold up a carriage.

Kili slowly makes his way after Thorin trying to keep his emotions at bay. He wants to cry. For the boy to die so alone makes his heart break. He feels himself sway and grabs hold of Thorin’s arm to stop himself from collapsing. “S..sorry sir,” he apologises once he has got his balance. 

Thorin does not reprimand Kili this time and he is relieved when a carriage pulls up and they can climb inside, into the safety of anonymity behind the drawn curtains. “Come here,” he frowns, when Kili makes to sit opposite him. “Please ....” He realises Kili is angry with him for taking him there, for putting him through that and sighs. “You must understand …”

“I never want to go back there again,” Kili snarls, leaning back against the seat and closing his eyes to stop his head from spinning. “I told you I would not steal again, but that was not good enough for you.” Kili wishes the bitter taste in the back of his throat would go. “This world really is an evil place to do that to another human.”

“Perhaps you are right…” Thorin says after digesting Kili’s comments for a while. He stares out of the window through the vitrage, unsure what else to say. He cannot change the world for Kili. If he could they would not be hiding behind drawn curtains but shout their love out to the world. “You held yourself well,” he tries to praise Kili.

Kili nods not trusting himself not to throw up if he opens his mouth. His thoughts rest upon the boy. “What did he steal so bad to warrant that?” he asks his lover holding onto the carriage door handle to try and keep himself steady.  

Thorin looks to Kili, wishing he would just sit next to him and he is suddenly worried that he has broken something between them by taking Kili there. “He killed his employer,” he says, holding his lover’s gaze.

“With how I feel at the moment I can sympathise,” Kili snaps but instantly regrets it. “Sorry Thorin, I did not mean that,” he says softly, moving over to the seat next to him. “I love you.”

“I know you didn’t,” Thorin smiles softly, taking Kili’s hand in his. “And I love you too. I do feel guilt for bringing you to see that," he mumbles. "But I would rather you were angry with me if it meant you took my warnings seriously. They do not hang mere thieves in Newgate Gaol anymore, but they do in other prisons. Boys as young as that, as young as you. I needed you to see. You are right, this is an evil world. And you must learn to play by the rules or ... “ he brushes his hand along Kili’s stubbled chin, “hide it better when you do not,” he reminds him of their already existing predicament.

Kili nods finally understanding the full weight of how reckless he has been with his behaviour. “I promise you, Thorin, I will not let that boy’s fate be mine.” He leans his head on his shoulder. “I will not allow myself to die like that.” He looks deep into Thorin’s eyes. “I will make you proud of me and will not be your street rat any longer. I will become a proper gentleman.”

"I'm already proud of you," Thorin places a kiss in Kili's hair and pulls him closer, holding him tight for a moment until a thought enters his mind. "We forgot to do something yesterday." _Because you got us in trouble!_ he thinks but does not say it since Kili has been punished enough already.

Kili looks at his lover confused. All of the day seems a haze apart from their argument “what was that?” he asks taking Thorin’s hand in his, rubbing his finger on his palm.

Thorin opens the window, calling an alternative instruction to the driver. "We are going to buy you a book," he beams at Kili.

A smile spreads across Kili’s face. “Oh yes,” he says happily as the carriage changes direction “I think I would like a book.” He leans into Thorin and places a kiss on his neck, then remembers the little hip flask Thorin had given him and pulls it out of his blazer pocket taking a mouthful then offering it to Thorin. 

"Thank you, my love," Thorin accepts the offer gratefully, relieved that this morning is over but far more so that Kili has not only forgiven him but actually seems to have learnt something from today, even if only time can tell if the message truly has sunk in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Executions had been undertaken at Newgate Prison since 1783, initially outside the prison walls and from 1868 onwards inside, after public executions were discontinued. A total of 1,169 people were executed at Newgate. The prison was closed in 1902 and demolished in 1904.
> 
> http://www.peterberthoud.co.uk/2012/05/inside-newgate-prison/


	56. Lessons of Trust

Kili bounces with excitement as he clasps his book in his hand. “Thank you,” he says once again wrapping his arms around Thorin’s waist. “I can’t believe I actually have my very own book.”

Thorin grins from ear to ear at Kili's beautiful excitement over something that people of his own class take so for granted. The entire journey back from the bookshop he'd held the paper wrapped book like his most treasured possession, beaming bright as a star for simply owning something so special let alone be able to read it.

"Why don't you stoke up the fire so we can have a cup of tea whilst I get changed?" he smiles, kissing Kili's forehead tenderly. "And then we can read your book together."

Kili nods, placing the book carefully on the little table by the sofa. He bends down to the fire, taking the matches from the mantle and sparking them against the wood. “I cannot wait to learn to read,” he beams, turning back to Thorin, who is looking at him fondly.

"You'll have already started," Thorin encourages. "You'll be amazed by how much you already know.” With one more loving smile he leaves Kili to carry out the tasks and walks into the bedroom to change into less formal dress.

Kili hums happily as he begins to prepare the tea. He walks into the kitchen looking through the cupboards, smiling as he spots the biscuit barrel. He takes out a selection of homemade treats and places them on a little plate. When he returns Thorin is already sat on the sofa “You look handsome,” Kili smiles, placing the plate on the table. He turns to the fire and begins pouring water into cups.

"Why, thank you. I do try and make the effort," Thorin smiles happily. "After all I have to live up to being wed to the most handsome young gentleman in all of England."

Kili flashes red at this and lets out a little laugh. “Flatterer,” he says, handing Thorin his cup. “I am not as beautiful as you. You are my handsome Stallion,” he grins as Thorin turns red at this.

Thorin groans softly. "Tease. Come sit with me before I change my mind and drag you off to the bedroom."

Kili takes his book off the table and walks over to Thorin snuggling into his side. ”How old were you when you first learnt to read?” he asks, unsure at what the normal age is.

Thorin screws up his face trying to remember that far back. "Frerin and I had a governess, a live-in tutor. I think I might have been four when I started to learn basic words. Probably six when started to write and read simple books." He puts his arm around Kili. "You're much cleverer than me; you'll crack it in no time at all."

Kili snorts “You are the cleverest person I know,” he says softly. “If you cannot teach me no-one can.”

Kili’s interest in now stirred and he wants to find out more about Thorin’s life, before he was born. He thinks back to what Balin had told him before. “What were you like when you were my age? Mr Balin says we are very alike.”

At that Thorin almost chokes on his biscuit. "Nothing gets past you does it? Hmm, I guess I had the same sense of adventure and need to push the boundaries as you. I know you must think that growing up as a gentleman's son must be a dream life. Don't get me wrong I know I have had an amazing childhood compared to lots of children and I am not complaining at all. But when you're born into an old family like that ... There are lots of expectations, lots of rules. How to behave. What to do and say. Let's say childhood very much meant being as unobtrusive as possible for my father. Children were neither to be heard nor seen. And I was not very good at doing that," he laughs. "And neither was Frerin incidentally, even if these days he pretends to be the perfect example of a gentleman."

Kili laughs at this. “I wonder if we were the same age, if we would have still fallen in love?” he asks the question that he had thought about quite a lot of times. He thinks about it himself for a second then looks deep in to Thorin’s shining blue eyes. “Would you still love me? I know I would you; I would love you even if you were a mere beggar. ”

"Of course I would still love you," Thorin smiles, flicking Kili's nose. “Why do you think I would not?" he asks, cocking his head a little.

Kili shrugs. “I don't know, just something I thought about and could not get out of my head,” he admits. But his heart jumps with joy at Thorin’s words.

Thorin grabs Kili's face between his hands and presses his mouth hard against his soft lips, pushing his tongue in urgently. "That is how much I will always love you," he grins when he releases Kili's surprised face again.

Kili runs his hands in Thorin’s thick hair. “I am glad,” he says softly and traces Thorin’s jaw line with his hand. “I think I shall grow a beard.” He laughs at Thorin’s shocked face. “I want to look as much a gentleman as you.”

"Hmm, I think I like you just as you are," Thorin says hesitantly. "With your little stubble." He adds teasingly, "Perhaps that's all the beard you can grow anyway, my little one. Thranduil can't grow one either!" he laughs.

At this Kili bursts out laughing. “I should think not. Can you imagine Miss Fanny Star with a beard?” His laugh gets louder and he begins to snort. “Would be a bearded lady.”

Thorin can't help but join in with Kili's infectious laughter. "Indeed, it would be highly disturbing for all.” Then he adds fondly, “I am happy that you got on well with miss Fanny in the end. She can be somewhat... Flamboyant ..."

“I think it seems quite fun.” Kili smiles, wondering how Thorin will react when he sees him in his purple dress. “Mr Thranduil pulls it off very well. I would never have guessed if I had not known,” he winks, thinking back to two nights ago even though it seems a lifetime ago already.

Thorin smirks at the memory also. "You, my beloved, were the star performer that night as I recall. Now, we're getting distracted with such talk yet again. Are you going to open that book or just cradle it like a newborn babe?" He brushes Kili's hand clutched around the item.

Kili smiles and unwraps the brown paper. He looks at the brown leather bound book with golden lettering. “I have never owned a book before,” he says thumbing the pages. “Hell, I don't think we even had a book in Ma’s shack apart from the Bible which always confused me as neither of us could read it”.

“Well, now you have your very own book,” Thorin smiles happily. “So, what does the title say?”

Kili screws up his face with concentration. “Well, that’s a C,” he says pointing to the first letter. “And an H, an R …,“ he proudly identifies each letter correctly, gaining confidence as he goes along.

“Very good,” Thorin smiles. “So that word there is Christmas,” he says. And then repeats the word slowly, tracing the letters with his finger as he pronounces them.

“So that is _Christmas_ ,” Kili smiles tracing the letters also and then looks at the other word. “Again there’s a C and an A, R, O … L?”

“It is,” Thorin nods proudly. “C-A-R-O-L,” he pronounces the letters separately. “Carol. So, altogether?”

"It says _A CHRISTMAS CAROL_." Kili looks up at his lover for confirmation and smiles when his love nods. "So my book is called A Christmas Carol."

"It is, my beautiful little prince," Thorin smiles warmly, feeling love radiate out from his chest into every fibre of his being. He opens the cover. "It is written by a man named Charles Dickens. He is quite famous. I know it's not Christmas but it's a nice story and since you love Christmas I thought it would be a good book to start with. Shall I begin to read the first chapter out loud and you can trace the words with me?"

Kili nods and snuggles in to Thorin’s side again. “Yes, let’s read,” he grins and places kisses along his neck. “So, _A Christmas Carol._ Sounds like a lovely story.”

“It is,” Thorin smiles and he begins to read. “Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.” As he reads on Kili snuggles up ever closer against him, following the movement of his finger along the page with reverence.

By the time they near the end of the first chapter Kili is pleased to know that not only had he been able to recognise all the letters he is also knows a lot of the words. “I love this book,” he declares with a grin from ear to ear.

"I love you," Thorin grins back, having thoroughly enjoyed their afternoon of reading together. "You are a very fast learner," he compliments as Kili had soon started to read the words he recognised out loud with him. "You will soon be it reading to me." He kisses him softly, brushing their noses together.

“Thank you, but it’s really my teacher. He is the most patient, lovely man I have ever met.” Kili presses their lips together running his finger behind Thorin’s ear, brushing the spot he knows Thorin likes him to kiss. Then he slides his tongue gently into his beloved's mouth.

Thorin is pleasantly surprised by Kili's advances and he responds to the deep kiss in kind, twirling his tongue around his lover's, pulling him up into his lap.

Kili can feel his heart quicken and moves his body closer to Thorin’s. He moves his fingers lower down Thorin’s neck and into his shirt rubbing his shoulders. His cock begins to twitch as Thorin run’s his fingers into his hair.

"Are you getting hard?" Thorin whispers with a wicked glint in his eyes as he can feel his lover's arousal begin to press against him.

Kili groans. “Yes,” he admits and brings his hand down to Thorin’s nipple, rolling it in between his finger and thumb. “Are you?”

"Yes…" Thorin hisses as Kili plays with his nipples, loving it that Kili dared ask him that question in return. "You cheeky thing." He shifts himself to push Kili against his growing need, moulding his backside in his large hands. "Want to move to the bedroom?" he whispers through more urgent kisses.

Kili nods as he can feel his shaft press against his breeches. He moves his lips just below Thorin’s ear and begins nibbling a mark into his skin. “I… I think we'd better,” he pants as he licks just below the shell of his ear. “I need you,” he whispers softly and looks into his lover's eyes which have darkened with lust.

"Then let me look after your needs," Thorin scoops Kili in his arms as he pushes himself to his feet. "It would be awfully impolite if I left you pining," he says through kisses all along Kili's neck as he carries his lover to the bedroom.

“Mmmm,” Kili agrees wrapping his arms around Thorin’s neck. “Very ungentlemanly of you,” he pants as Thorin places him gently on the bed.

"You're gorgeous." Thorin takes a moment to drink in the picture of his young lover splayed out before him. He slowly strokes his hands down Kili's chest and then over his bulge, squeezing him gently.

Kili grunts bucking his throbbing prick gently into Thorin’s hands, seeking some form of relief. “Touch me,” he orders seeking to feel Thorin’s hand on his bare flesh. He moves his hands to Thorin’s backside and traces its shape with his fingers, giving a innocent smile as he pinches his backside. “Such a lovely ass.”

Thorin grins widely at Kili's cheek. "You little wench, that is no way a gentleman should talk." Then he laughs, "Although it is probably exactly what a gentleman would say…” He unbuttons Kili’s slacks and pulls them open. He teases his index finger over that delightful bulge underneath, enjoying Kili’s wriggling and hissing. Only then, when he can see the fire burning in his lover’s eyes does he slide his hand inside to take that hot hard flesh in his hand.

Kili lets out a grunt as Thorin snakes his hand around his cock giving him a wicked smile as he runs his hand over his slit. “You tease,” he gasps softly, bucking his hips, jolting his shaft into Thorin’s hand as he rolls his head back against the headboard.

“Get undressed.” Thorin pulls back his hand, getting impatient with the pace now too. He pulls at the buttons of his own shirt, shimmying himself off the bed as he removes the garment.

Kili hastily pulls his shirt over his head not even bothering with the buttons and chucks it onto the floor. His eyes follow Thorin as he pulls his trousers and cottons in one go down, eyeing his hardened cock and licking his lips. He cannot peel his eyes away following his beloved’s every move.

“Do you approve, sir?” Thorin tilts his head a little as he displays himself before his lover, wallowing in the attention.

Kili can feel his cock twitch. “Yes, you are beautiful,” he utters, widening his eyes. “Come here.”

“You are very demanding today,” Thorin grins as he crawls back onto the bed. He grabs Kili’s legs and pulls hard at them so that Kili slides down the bed into his grip as he crawls on top of him. “I quite like that,” he utters through kisses to every bit of skin within reach of his lips.

When Thorin raises himself back up Kili places a sloppy kiss on his collarbone, slowly moving his hand between Thorin’s legs taking his cock into his fist, running teasingly slow down his shaft then rubbing his finger along his slit, feeling his lover’s cock weep.

Thorin groans at the firm touch to his manhood. “Good …” he moans, riding himself into that fist, shivering at the friction it causes. “You are so good to me …”

Kili grins wickedly as he gets an idea and tries to wiggle himself further down the bed using Thorin’s legs as leverage. “Such a beautiful cock,” he purrs when he gets in the desired position and sticks out his tongue licking along that luscious length. 

“Oh … YES!” Thorin exclaims as quite unexpectedly Kili takes him into his mouth. “Oh damn …” It takes all his effort not to thrust down his hips and shove his cock deep down Kili’s throat, instead focusing on keeping his body raised in this position as Kili gives him the most wonderful pleasure with that wicked tongue.

Kili can feel his cock leak at Thorin’s reaction and smiles under his heavy cock on his lips. He bobs his head along Thorin’s manhood, enjoying his groans of pleasure. He sucks along his entire length increasing the pressure on that gorgeous cock and moves his hands to Thorin’s balls rolling them gently between his fingers.

Thorin knows he should be better in control of himself than this, but Kili's skilled lips make him shiver from top to toe and he can feel himself flood Kili’s hot mouth with his precum, knowing he is all too close already.

“Lie with me,” he whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut to try and keep his climax at bay, not wanting it to be over so soon.

Kili pulls off of Thorin’s cock with a pop and shuffles his way back up the bed. “Okay, sweetheart,” he smiles pulling his legs up in eager anticipation, looking into Thorin’s lust blown eyes. “I love you.” 

Thorin can feel a blush creep up his neck into his cheeks as he rolls himself next to Kili, stroking his face softly as an unexpected and urgent desire enters his mind. “No …” he whispers, still not completely sure himself of what he's about to say but saying it anyway. “Would you … Would you indorse me? My love …” He looks at Kili expectantly, wondering how he will react to that request, suddenly feeling both embarrassed and nervous that Kili will reject the idea.

Kili gulps. “I-indorse you? Me? Y-you….you want me too?” He takes some deep breaths. “But I don't know how to …” Kili flashes red at his confession. _I spent all that time at Aunt Molly’s and I have no idea. I will get it wrong!_

“You do know how to,” Thorin smiles, softly feeling the heat pulse through him at the thought alone. “And I will guide you. It … it would be my honour …” He can feel his cheeks redden in earnest now, his own voice sounding unimaginably deep and odd to his ears suddenly. “W-will you …?”

Kili thinks about this for a second then a smile breaks across his face. “Yes… It would be _my_ honour.” He presses his lips against Thorin’s as love courses through his veins. “I love you so very much, Thorin. You make me so happy.”  

Thorin pulls Kili into his embrace, kissing him hard. “You are my husband now,” he breathes heavily against his lips. “And you want to be a gentleman …. Then … then you must learn to give as well as receive,” he gleams at his beloved. He rolls onto his back, pulling Kili on top of him, grinding against him before he lets his legs fall open wider.

Kili looks at Thorin. “What… what do I do?” he asks unsurely with a nervous smile, “I want to make you feel amazing, just like you make me feel.” He leans down and kisses Thorin’s nose.  

“Just .. slow,” Thorin says softly, feeling a nervous flutter as he is hardly more experienced in this set up than Kili is. “Use a little spit,” he mimics spitting into the palm of his hand. “On your weapon,” he flushes. “And then just real slow. And …” he bites his lip, “stop if I ask you to.” _Damn I so need a brandy for this!_ he thinks but pushes the thought away as truthfully he wants to try this once being in complete control of his senses.

“I promise I will,” Kili promises, shaking nervously, bringing his hands to his mouth and spitting into his palm. He brings his fingers to his cock smearing his spit along his length. He lines himself up with Thorin’s tight entrance. “Thorin … have you done this before?” he asks quietly.   

Thorin flushes an even darker shade of red at the question. “I erhm …” His eyes flick away from Kili’s but he forces himself to look at him again, knowing how much this is about trust between them. “Twice,” he says very quietly. “With Thranduil. The very first time I lay with him … And once, I believe … because I was too drunk …” _I cannot actually remember that time, but since I found myself unable to shit and dripping his mettle in the morning I can guess we did!_ he thinks, but decides not to share that piece of information with Kili. He chuckles as an outlet of his nerves. “I am capable,” he reaffirms his position to Kili, feeling his pride sting a little. “But … I want you to … to do it. Please, my love.”

Kili feels a pang of jealousy at this. _Anything Thranduil can do I can do better!_ he vows, gently pushing against Thorin’s entrance. “ I will make you feel amazing; you are mine,” he smiles softly, slowly pushing a little more against Thorin’s rim. “I shall make you see heaven.”  

“Yes,” Thorin grins at Kili's possessiveness and delightful promises, pulling him in for another kiss. Despite his nerves and reservations, his body seems to scream out for this now as he opens up further to Kili, relaxing against the push, wanting so badly now to feel his sweet brunet inside him. “Do it, Kili,” he urges him on. “Want to feel you.”

Kili nods, pushing in further as Thorin’s body opens up for him. “I love you,” he whispers again as he slides deeper inside Thorin’s heat, feeling him grip his cock. He gasps and groans, then stutters, “T-thank you.” He halts as soon as his cockhead has breached that tight muscle, watching Thorin, waiting for him to give him permission to move further. As the heat throbs through him he feels drunk with love.

Thorin can feel himself tense as soon as Kili enters him, having the instant urge to change his mind and push Kili off. He bites his lip and digs his fingernails into the palms of his hands as he forces himself to relax, to breathe and not panic as it feels like a thousand needles are stabbing his most intimate parts trying to tears him to ribbons. “D-don’t … move …” he groans as he tries to catch his breath.

When Kili patiently waits for him, just kissing softly with him, he is finally able to accept the initial intrusion. “Alright …” he nods, not entirely convinced that it is alright, but nonetheless not wanting to mess this up for them and not wanting to take so long it embarrassing. _Man up, Thorin, both Kili and Thranduil take you without any complaint!_ “Move … Gently!”

“Okay, my love,” Kili slowly sinks himself further inside his beloved. _This is such an honour!_ “Tell me if …. if you need me to stop,” he pants, resisting the urge to buck harder as he slowly stretches Thorin’s rim. He leans forward and kisses Thorin’s neck. “You are doing so well, my stallion,” he tries to encourage Thorin in the same way he does with him when he bottoms.  

Thorin looks at Kili in surprise then actually laughs softly. “Hardly. You, my love, took two gentlemen up your roundmouth and did not whine as much as this!” He pulls Kili into his arms, pulling him in a little closer still. “I feel so full,” he whispers breathlessly against his lips. “H-how does it feel for you?”

“Tight…. so tight, you are gripping me so tight,” Kili pants rolling his hips slowly. “I have never felt more close to anyone as I do to you right now.” He  smiles, looking deep into Thorin’s eyes as he moves himself a little deeper. “You look beautiful like this.”

“As do you.” Thorin feels his face relax into a genuine happy smile. “This feels very special,” he whisper back. “To feel you inside of me like this …” He can feel the heat pulse to the tip of his cock as he thinks about that statement. “Move … a little … just gently. Feels better now.”

Kili rocks his hips again, slowly moving further into Thorin. “In a way … you are my first … and only.” Kili smiles at this statement. “I - I have never done this to anyone before,” he says breathlessly. He bites his lip as his cock feels like it might explode.  

“That is a beautiful thought,” Thorin groans softly, rocking gently back against Kili’s movements now.  “And … it makes me feel very honoured.” He brushes Kili’s hair out of his face, gazing deep into his eyes now. “Nice … Feels strangely nice,” he smiles, groaning again. “Faster. Just a little …”

Kili increases his pace a little. The drag of his cock brushing against Thorin’s walls feels wonderful. He can feel his eyes roll into the back off his head. “Y-you feel amazing,” he gasps, trying to resist the urge to quicken the pace. “So tight, darling.”

“Yes … you too,” Thorin pants back, grinning at Kili's use of the endearment that he knows he has picked up from Thranduil. He rocks himself again to meet his lover’s gentle thrusts. His body is opening up to the intrusion now, relaxing around that beautiful hard hot shaft sliding in and out of him and that gentle rhythm. He wants more of it now; want to see Kili become completely undone as he does this to him. His own cock is throbbing wonderfully now and he reaches between them to stroke himself in the same rhythm in which their bodies meet.

Kili can feel sweat drip down his face as he bucks his hips into Thorin. He can feel his body twitch all over and his balls begin to draw up. _Don't you dare. Not yet,_ he scolds himself, wanting this moment to last forever. He gently quickens the pace a little. “Is this okay, love?”

“YES!” Thorin moans loudly now, throwing back his head as his entire body feels on fire. This is so different than being on the giving end. So many nerve endings which are being stimulated by that wonderful motion of Kili’s cock inside him, sending tingles to his brain and his cock. He feels the warm wetness of his own liquid coat the inside of his hand as he palms himself vigorously. “Harder!” he orders Kili now, knowing that he cannot take that overload of stimulation for much longer but wanting so badly for it to help him over the edge.

Kili does as Thorin has requested, finally letting his body do what it wants to do naturally, and increases the speed of thrusting in and out of his beloved. “That’s s-so good,” he pants, his breathing heavy. “Good …” He places his hands onto the bed to give him extra leverage and pushes himself deep into Thorin’s tight channel. “N-not… going to last ...”

“Good. Don’t … don’t hold … backaaaah,” Thorin groans as he spills frantically into his fist, letting the stimulation of Kili’s now thorough thrusts drive him to his peak. It feels so intense like this; he can actually feel the deep throb in his cockhead against the palm of his hand and his inner muscles are gripping Kili even more tightly.

“Blazes!” Kili utters. Watching his lover come undone underneath him is all it takes to drive him over the edge. He lets all the feeling take over from before and continues to buck into Thorin, spilling his seed deep inside of him. “Thorin!” he cries grasping hold of his shoulders.  

“Oh … my love ...” _He is releasing inside me …_ is all Thorin can think, gazing drunk on his own high into that most beautiful image of Kili climaxing. He holds on to him as if they both may explode with pleasure if he doesn’t, threading his legs around Kili’s as he rolls his hips to meet his final shuddering thrusts.

Kili collapses on top of Thorin, panting heavily. “That was….. oh my...” is all he can say sinking his face into Thorin’s chest. “Thank you…. thank you so much.”

Thorin can't say anything other than "Stay.. " as he pulls Kili into his arms, hugging him tight. A mixture of emotions swirls inside him. He's shown Kili his most vulnerable side and it makes him unsure about what they'd done. But as Kili presses little kisses against his chest as he slowly slips out of him he feels a much more powerful emotion push his insecurities aside. So much love. So much trust. "I have never felt so one with someone before," he says softly.

Kili's heart sings at Thorin's words. "I feel the same," Kili says softly looking deep into Thorin's eyes, seeing love radiate from them.  “Thank you for trusting me enough to allow to be so one with you." He softly brushes their lips together. "D-did I do right? Did you enjoy it?" the brunet asks, suddenly feeling a little worried about his performance.

"You did wonderfully," Thorin beams into Kili's glowing face. He brushes his hair out of his eyes and strokes his cheek. "It was... special. Very special. I'm not sure that I took it as well as you do. Perhaps we are not meant to be with other like this. But it felt very nice in the end. Very nice. And you? Did you enjoy it, my prince?"

“I did. It was….” Kili tries to think of words to describe how wonderful it felt to be inside his husband. “It was unbelievable. Time just seemed to stand still.” He moves his hand to Thorin’s hair running his fingers through the soft tangled mane. “You are such a beautiful person. I am so lucky to have you.”

"And me you.” He tilt Kili’s head to look at him. “You would still take me?" he asks a little hesitantly. "You do like it when I'm inside you?" _Maybe we should not have done this! What if he says no? Now that he …_

Kili leans forward and places a kiss on Thorin’s nose. “I like you to take care of me, darling.This was nice, but I will always prefer to feel your perfect sword buried deep inside me.” The teen flushes at his own crude statement.

Thorin cuddles Kili even closer at that, snuggling his face into his neck. "Mmm my perfect, sexy man," he mumbles. "You make me so so happy. Let's just lie here for a while and enjoy this moment of peace."


	57. Turning Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING - talk of executions through hanging

"No! You bastards! You fools! Let him go! No no no, not my Kili!"  He is quite unsure which if any of those words he has said out loud as his eyes spring open and he looks dazed around the bedroom.

Kili open his eyes in shock and can see his beloved’s fear flit across his face. He reaches out and brushes his hand across his bearded face, feeling the clamminess from his nightmare on his skin. "Thorin, my love, it is alright, I am here," he soothes and places a kiss on his neck. "We are In your rooms. And I am fine.”

Thorin feels the sweat pour from his brow as he looks at Kili in bewilderment. The image of his slender body dangling from the gallows as he can hear his desperate gasps for air burnt into his mind’s eye. “You’re here … you’re safe …” He draws in his breath and grabs hold of Kili as if to make sure this is real and not his terrifying nightmare.

Kili runs his fingers through Thorin’s black locks. “It is okay. Yes, I am safe, my love, everything is okay,” he reassures his lover as he pulls him close. “It was just a dream, I am here.” He places a kiss on his damp brow. “Would you like a drink Thorin?” he asks, shifting to get up from the bed. “To steady your nerves.”

“No! No stay,” Thorin says, a little panicked, pulling Kili closer. "You. It was you. On the scaffolds ...gasping for air. I... I had to do it, Kili. I'm so sorry!" Thorin utters, his breathing fast still as the dream feels all too real.

Kili runs his hands along Thorin’s back. “What did you have to do my love?” he whispers, placing a gentle kiss to Thorin’s cheek.

Thorin rubs his face hard, trying to shake off the horrid feeling the nightmare had left him with. “I … Oh god … Maybe a drink is not such a bad idea.” He gives Kili a soft kiss and then slides himself out of bed, reaching for his chamber coat.

Kili follows Thorin through to the living room. “Sweetheart, why don’t you sit down?” he suggests, guiding Thorin to the sofa then turning to the drinks cabinet to prepare Thorin’s usual double brandy and an absinthe for himself.

“Thank you, my love,” Thorin says, taking a long tug from the strong liquor, letting it warm his insides. “That was terrifying. It felt so real!”

“It’s okay…I mean it this time, taking me there worked. I am not going to let that boy be me.” He wraps his arms around Thorin and can feel how hot and clammy he is. _Mother of Jesus, I have never seen him so scared before_ , he thinks. “Just calm down, Thorin, just … breath,” he soothes.  

Thorin relaxes in the embrace. _He’s not dead. It was just a dream. Everything is okay._ “I shot you …” he blurts out. “Hell, Kili, it was horrific.”

Kili stills at this. “Y-you shot me?” he can feel himself pale and gulps. “Why?”

Taking a long deep breath to calm himself, Thorin takes Kili’s hand in his. “I know today was a dreadful experience for you and of course it was intended as such, in my hope that it would be a deterrent. When I …” he can hardly believe it himself even if he says it, “when I was your age, hangings in England were not done behind the closed doors of the prison. They were public events. People used to flock to them as a spectacle, a show.”

“That is horrible. Why?” Kili utters gobsmacked. “Why would people want to watch something like that?” Kili can feel nausea bubble up inside him again as he pictures people crowded around the gallows.   

Thorin shrugs. “People have a morbid fascination with death. Some people see it as their right, to see justice done. Others … perhaps it makes them feel better in themselves to watch another unfortunate soul, who is in a worse place than they are themselves. I guess more than anything if you are brought up with a view that it is entertainment …” He shakes his head. “In any case, my father took me and Frerin to a number of such events. He felt it would instil a sense of pride in the profession of law, I believe. And probably also with a view that it would keep us on the straight and narrow, much as I tried with you today.”

“Did...did you used to enjoy watching it?” the teen asks, unsure if he actually wants to hear the reply. _How can that be entertainment? How could anyone enjoy watching something as disgusting as that?_ “If I am truly honest, before today, I did think that you were just trying to scare me. I even thought it were actors to start with today,” he says softly.

Thorin takes Kili’s hand and rubs the back of it. “The first time my father took me to a hanging,” Thorin says carefully after thinking about Kili’s question for a moment; he wants to give Kili an honest answer, not the right answer and he tries to recall the events in the right sequence, “The first time I was absolutely petrified. I had no idea what to expect. The hanging itself was very much as you saw today although on a scaffold outside the prison and therefore we were stood much further away, in the general crowd. I think therefore what frightened me more was the shouting of the crowd. You must understand that already at that point people’s perception about such public executions was starting to change. There were both those there for the entertainment, but also those who like you, opposed such a barbaric display. I was probably … thirteen, maybe fourteen years old. Frerin was too young at that point. No, I did not enjoy it. But equally I don’t think it had sunk in quite what it meant. Death … In that environment, at such a distance … It seemed too unreal for it to be true.”

Kili thinks about his beloved’s words. He can picture a young Thorin shaking with fear much as he was and wraps his arms around his shoulders. “I can Imagine how frightened that must have been, Thorin. That would have made what happened to that boy so much more horrid, if there were people to witness his final moments just for pure enjoyment.” He can feel tears running down his face but does not even bother to wipe them away.

But Thorin does it for him. "I guess it's on the other side of the scale to my client. No one came for that boy today. Not a single friendly face, not one tear. The only image before they pulled down that mask was of the people who had failed him and who were going to kill him. Perhaps you are right. Perhaps this world is just evil..." he swallows hard. _Jesus, Thorin pull yourself together! You are a man of the bar! Don't go round questioning the morality of men or you will go crazy!_ But all he can think is that it could have been his Kili.

Kili can hear his love’s heartbeat and can sense his inner torment. “Parts of this world are evil but there is some light in it also. It is about finding the light bits that makes it worthwhile. Like our love,” he says kissing, the older man’s beard. “Yes, that boy could be me, but I have one thing he did not have and that is you. And you make everything worth it.”

He smiles at his lover, then has a thought. “What was his name?”

Thorin shakes his head initially; it's easier not to know. Not to give the nightmare an identity. But he realises that makes him hardly any better than any of those people he just spoke about. To anonymise the victim just so that he can live with himself, make him almost not a human being. "Benjamin," he says softly. "Benjamin Flannery. He was nineteen years old. One of eleven children. Not a bad kid, but easily swayed. Got himself involved in a scheme. Things went wrong. He took the gallows as the others walked free," he summarises the case matter-of-factly.

Kili can feel sorrow for Benjamin. “So he really was a little trouble maker like me,” he says, giving Thorin a little smile. “But I swear to you, darling, I have seen the error of my ways,” Kili promises, cuddling close to his beloved. “Why did he murder his boss? Was he paid?”

Thorin shakes his head. "I believe it was an accident. He got caught stealing from him, panicked and knocked him over the head. The man fell unfortunately. That's what I truly believe happened, which is why I took the case. But we could not gather enough evidence to convince the jury." He sighs, sipping his brandy again.  

 _That really could have been me. What if I had hit Mr Nesbit by mistake? Or attacked Mr Thranduil in fear?_ He then remembers something else Thorin had said. “Thorin, you said you shot me in your dream…”

"Yes... " Thorin had almost forgotten that as the conversation went off track. "I was telling you about the public executions. The one that will always haunt me... Executions, hangings, as you've seen, they're not pleasant. But trust me when I say they are infinitely worse when they go wrong."

At this all of the colour drains from Kili’s face “H….how can a hanging go wrong?” Kili stutters trying to picture it.

Thorin hesitates for a moment, already regretting he's said it. But it's the explanation for his nightmares and as much as Kili had shared with him he feels his owes it him. "Why for failing to break the person's neck. If the rope is too short. It's the fall that causes the neck to break and therefore ensures a fairly swift and painless death.  Otherwise the poor soul will suffer the slow and agonizing torture of strangulation. Unless someone helps them out of their misery."

At this though Kili leans over the side of the sofa and retches. “That is horrible!” he utters wishing his body would stop shaking. “Please say they were often helped. I would not be able to bare that.” He can feel his eyes widen and stares at Thorin’s face. “How could anyone watch someone suffocate? What is wrong with this world?”

Thorin works his jaw for a moment as he weighs up his response, shocked by Kili’s reaction. He rubs his back softly. “It did not happen that often, don’t think it was a regular thing, although it happened more often than it should have. The one time I witnessed it as a youngster …. yes, someone took pity and took a gun to the poor soul. Which was just as well because they would have either let him suffocate or rehanged him. It’s .. it’s an image that has stayed with me always. And when I dreamt about it earlier ... “ He swallows hard as the emotion attached to that nightmare still clings to him, “it was you on the scaffolds. And me holding the gun.”

Kili nods then cups Thorin’s face. “And that is why I love you, because of your kind heart, my handsome gentleman,” he says, wrapping his arms around him and placing a kiss on his lips. “You are a good man. If that was me…… I would rather someone shot me, that _you_ shot me.”

"I have never killed a man and I hope to God I never will," Thorin shakes his head.. "I have seen them hang, seen others pull the lever.... It's so easy. It's so frighteningly easy to end the life of another human.” He strokes softly, soothingly through Kili’s hair. “Yet I am glad you were there today. I think … I don’t agree with the public display of executions. But behind closed doors … It becomes even easier for people to just accept it. For a jury to condemn a man to death and then forget about it, make it someone else’s problem. That is probably unfair,” he corrects himself. “But still, I have always sworn that if I cannot save a man from that fate, or a woman for that matter, that I will witness their end. Witness the result of my failure.”

“Listen to me,” Kili says strongly, forcing Thorin to look at him by tilting his chin. “You did the best you could, my love. You tried to help Benjamin. But you cannot win every case. But while you lost that case you won another I will never steal again. So he did not die in vain and I will remember him always.”   

Thorin has to swallow the lump in his throat. "You are a beautiful person, Kili," he says, stroking his cheek. "It felt so real ... My dream... I could not live with myself if anything happened to you... "

“It is not going to happen to me,” Kili says sternly then grabs Thorin’s hand. “I will not let it be me.” He looks deep into Thorin’s scared face. “I could not put you through that. I love you too much.”


	58. To Love and To Cherish

"Just go, darling," Thranduil pushes Thorin towards the door. "We'll be right behind you. Just keep a seat free for us."

Thorin wants to argue. He had been surprised to find Thranduil on his doorstep just as he and Kili were getting ready for Gandalf's dinner party. He'd been even more confused when Thranduil had insisted that he would travel ahead and the American would follow behind with Kili. For a moment he had been struck by a jealous flash; _was there something going on between them two?!_ But Thranduil knew him well enough to read his unsubtle expression and had told him to stop being ridiculous.

Kili looks at the front door as it is shut behind Thorin and then back to the American. “Why can I not go with Thorin?” he asks confused as Thranduil leans forward and starts to flatten his wild mane, which despite the bow in his hair keeps falling free of the ribbon and into his face.

"Because it is appropriate for the groom to wait for his bride at the venue. So that you can make a breath-taking entrance, my darling!" Thranduil beams, kissing Kili on the forehead.

Kili looks at the blond haired man a little confused. “What do you mean?” he asks although he can feel a smile break his face. “What have you been planning?”

Thranduil just grins. "It means, my darling, we do not have much time so let's get you looking fabulous!" And already Thranduil disappears into Thorin's bedroom, dragging the youngster behind him, before he starts rummaging through the shopping bags he'd brought with him.

Kili sits on the edge of the bed with his eyebrows knit in confusion. _What the hell is going on?_ he asks himself then thinks about Thranduil’s wording. “Is someone getting married? Do I get to watch? I have never been to a wedding before,” he babbles excitedly.

Thranduil whirls around raising an eyebrow, then begins to laugh heartily. "Yes, someone is getting married. You, you silly boy! You and your fine gentleman."

Kili laughs. “Really?” He pulls Thranduil into an embrace and then begins jumping up and down. “Oh thank you, Mister Thranduil,” he squeaks. “How did you organise this?”

"You're just delightful!" Thranduil grins gleefully at the enthusiasm of the young man. "I have my contacts. I know you two already think of yourselves as married, but there has to be a proper wedding!" he continues to chat at high speed as he pulls the silk expensive shirt and a deep blue cravat out of one of the bags.  "And since you cannot get married in church we've arranged for a friend to conduct the ceremony at Gandalfs' place. It's a beautiful house in any case, you'll see. Besides, I love weddings, they're so romantic and it means I get to be your bridesmaid," he gleams as he starts to peel Kili out of the nice suit that Thorin had bought for him. "The pants will be fine, but you need a bit more flair to go with it," he continues, barely taking a breath inbetween. "And a white frock coat. A bride should wear white,” he grins.

Kili looks at the smart shirt running his fingers along the fabric. “I cannot believe you have organised so much in such a short space of time and without either of us knowing about it.” He smiles widely taking off his tailored jacket and starting to unbutton his shirt. “You are a good friend, Mister Thranduil, to us both. I did not think this week could get any stranger either.”

"How come?" Thranduil asks curiously. "Has our barrister given you due attention?" he winks.

“I gave him attention,” Kili flushes red at this. “And I think Thorin enjoyed it as much as I did.”

Thranduil stares at Kili wide eyed and open mouthed for a moment. "I cannot believe that.” Then he laughs. “You devious little fox! Thorin _never_ takes. You really are a miraculous creature!" He lowers his voice as if someone might hear, whispering conspiratorially, "Was he sober?"

“Yes, he asked me to,” Kili admits, wondering if he should have divulged so much information about their love life but finds he can't stop. “It felt amazing. I have never been inside another before. I feel somehow more connected to him than before.”

"Oh you two are so sweet," Thranduil says genuinely as he starts to tie the cravat around Kili's neck. "It takes a lot of trust between two men." He winks at Kili, "He loves you very much."

“And I him; he is my soulmate.” Kili beams looking into Thranduil face. “It seems to have blocked out all the bad stuff from yesterday.” He can feel his face shift as he thinks about poor Benjamin's fate and a shudder runs down his spine. 

"What bad stuff, darling?" Thranduil asks as he fiddles with Kili's cravat pin.

Kili gulps. “Thorin he…….he took me to Newgate Gaol to witness a hanging,” he says quietly, averting his eyes from Thranduil’s. “It was terrifying. But what frightened me the most is the boy could easily have been me. He had the same back story and was a thief.”   

Thranduil tries to hide his shock. He definitely does not approve of Thorin’s decision to expose Kili to something as barbaric as that, but equally he can see why Thorin would have chosen to do it. And by Kili's reaction it appears to have had at least some of the required effect. "I see. Why now you see why I spoke so harshly to you before when you played silly games with me."   

Kili nods “yes, I can assure you my stealing days are over, I do not want that fate,” he says softly then looks into Thranduil face, unsure if to ask the question that is on his tongue. “Why do people get hanged? Why not just keep them locked up? I do not like the eye for an eye thing; surely it just makes us as much a criminal as them?” 

Thranduil is momentarily gobsmacked by Kili's well-spoken wisdom. He wraps his arms around him and pulls him into an impromptu embrace. "You are a very clever young man and you ask very pertinent and very current questions, my dear. Ones that I'm afraid I cannot answer in full. One reason is financial as many things are in our world. It's expensive to keep someone locked up, where they have to be fed and guarded. It's cheap to kill. That's I'm afraid the hard truth."

Kili can feel anger rise up inside of him at this. “So they kill because lives are cheap? That is disgusting,” Kili utters, trying to calm himself down. “I cannot believe another human’s life can be a forfeit because it is cheap. It's wrong!”

"I agree," Thranduil nods, helping Kili into his frock jacket. "There are a lot of people who’d agree with you. There is a movement, a gathering of people with those views, who are trying to change the law. To get capital punishment abolished. But it's not something that will happen overnight. Britain and many countries indeed have a long history of punishing people in such manner." He picks up a brush and begins to comb through Kili's hair. "If you feel so strongly perhaps you should attend one of their meetings. I can put you in contact with someone who is involved in it.”

Kili thinks about this for a second. _Why would anyone be interested in my views?_ he asks himself. Then another part flares up in side of him. _Because you are the husband of an important member of society and that makes you Important too._ “Yes I would like that. Thank you, Mister Thranduil,” he smiles. “Do you go to these meetings?”

Thranduil ties the ribbon back into Kili's hair and turns him around to admire the result. "Beautiful!" he smiles. Then he sighs. "Sometimes... It's... It can be dangerous to have such strong views, especially when you're in the minority. I cannot be too outspoken about my personal views. I have important contractors who would strongly oppose my views. And equally a workforce who has to have respect for me so that they do not rebel against my instructions. I'm sticking my neck on my line enough with some of my personal activities. Do you understand?" He wonders if he had done the wrong thing to mention this to Kili.

Kili nods. “I do, and you have your family to think of also,” he gives the blonde haired man a little smile. “Where I don’t. And to the outside world I am Thorin’s servant so it will not put any shame on him,” the brunet thinks out loud. “If I can make a difference then I would like too.”

"You are a brave young man. Just always remember to be careful as to what you divulge to anyone. Both with regards to your personal views and your relationship with Thorin. Now, on that note, happy thoughts. You look perfect, my dear!"

He walks back into the lounge to grab his suitcase, returning with the final accessory to Kili. "Mr Oakenshield needs to look the full picture," he grins, handing Kili a high polished black cane with a silver ornate knob.  

Kili looks at the cane. “I have always wanted a cane, it’s well posh!” he says, examining it. “I have to admit I used to sneak into Thorin’s office as a child and play with his canes,” he flushes red at this confession.

 "Did you now?" Thranduil grins cheekily. "Now, let me quickly get changed and then we'll be on our way. It's fashionable for the bride to be late, but we should not leave our host waiting too long!"

+++

Gandalf hands Thorin a deep blue cravat. “Put this on, my boy,” the elderly gentleman orders, giving Thorin a mischievous smile, handing him the matching cravat to Kili’s which Thranduil and he had chosen for the lovers.

Thorin frowns at his old friend. "What's going on? Why do I have to wear this? I mean, it's beautiful …" he sputters, running the silk through his fingers.   

Gandalf wonders whether to tell Thorin the grand surprise or if to keep him guessing, but he decides on the latter and looks at Thorin with an amused face. “You will have to wait and see. But you need to look perfect,” he adds, taking the flower corsage from the table. “There we go, my boy.” 

Thorin looks even more baffled at his mentor. "I look like I'm going to wedding," he grumbles, still oblivious to the fact that he's right on the money with his statement.

At this Gandalf cannot help but let  out a hearty laugh. “I hope dear Thranduil is not having as much trouble with that young man of yours,” he smiles, placing the flower in Thorin’s button hole. He looks at Thorin’s tense posture and rubs his shoulder. “Relax, Thorin.”

"Kili? Why? My friend, you know this is making me jittery. Why is Thranduil with Kili?" But his questions are interrupted when another guest joins them for conversation and he's forced to just accept the odd events for now as Gandalf gratefully takes the opportunity to converse for a while with the other gentleman about the latest news. 

After a few moment Gandalf takes out his pocket watch, checking the time, which reads six fifty. “Please excuse me,” he says to the other guest and then to Thorin, “Thorin come with me.” He leads his younger friend into the grand dining room, which has been completely transformed for the occasion. “I need you to stand over there, sweet boy,” he smiles guiding Thorin into place.

"Stand here...? What...?" Thorin looks around the enormous room in bewilderment. A beautiful display of white flowers and blue ribbons decorates every remaining surface, whereas the large dining table which is normally the centrepiece of the party, has been moved to the back, making space for two rows of chairs.

He narrows his eyes as it begins to dawn on him what is about. "Have you been scheming with Miss Fanny?" he glares.

Gandalf laughs shifting guiltily. “She has indeed been in touch. With news that you have got married without a thought for your friends no less,” he jests with twinkling eyes. “Why, we could not have that handsome young man be wed off without a proper ceremony and party now could we?”

Thorin shakes his head at this absurd plan but a smile cracks across his face and he pulls his elderly friend into a brief embrace. "Thank you," he says gratefully as others are beginning to spill into the room, taking their seats, clearly aware of the occasion.

Gandalf clasps his ex pupil’s shoulder “I am just glad you have found someone who makes you so very happy.” He beams “sure that young man is a little rough around the edges but you can see how much he adores you and how much you adore him in return and you deserve some happiness my boy.”

 +++

Thranduil looks across to Kili as the carriage pulls up in front of the stately home. The youngster is shifting in what appears to be equal nerves and excitement. "Relax, Kili. This is for fun. Your chance to shine and love your husband for all to see."

“What if I do something stupid like trip over my feet?” Kili asks looking at Thranduil as Miss Fanny, sat in an elegant blue dress. “I need a drink,” he utters, taking out his hip flask from the lining of his smart coat.

"You won't," Thranduil grins, reaching for the flask and taking a sip himself in a rather un-lady-like fashion. "You look amazing and Thorin is going to be so happy." He waits for the carriage doors to be opened by the estate staff and gets out first. "Ready, sir?" he beams at Kili, holding out an arm for Kili to take.

Kili takes two deep breaths then takes Thranduil’s arm. He can feel his nerves turn to excitement as he looks at the well decorated house. “This is…. blimey … do people actually live here?” he asks as they walk across the cobbles.

"Yes, our friends are not short of a penny or two," Thranduil says softly, making his step so that it appears Kili is leading him as he should even if in reality it's the other way around. He smiles as Kili swings the cane on each step, clear that he has watched Thorin walk with his in the way he holds and moves it. "You make a very fine gentleman," he compliments.

Kili beams. “Thank you, Miss Star.” he lets out a nervous giggle as he approaches the front steps. “I cannot believe my luck. A few months ago I was just a street rat, a child really, running around Thorin’s estate, causing him endless trouble. And now I am marrying him! It seems unreal like a wonderful dream. I wish my mother was here to see me this happy.” He feels a tear run down his face. “I am so happy.” 

"Oh darling, don't make me weep already." Miss Fanny pulls a silk kerchief with fine lace edging from her skirt pocket and dabs Kili's cheek.

They are welcomed into the grand home by Gandalf’s staff and stop inside the hall where Fanny turns to check Kili over one more time. "Beautiful. Perfect. If he didn't already love you he sure would fall for you now!"

Kili giggles. “Guess I should go and get married them,” he says softly looking at the double doors.

+++

Thorin feels his heart swell even more when Saruman is wheeled into the room through the side door. He looks frail and Thorin fears those long bony fingers will shatter if he's not careful when he takes the elderly man's hands in his. "Thank you so much for being here," he says reverently.  

"I would not miss this for the world, my dear Thorin," Saruman rasps, a faint smile around his thin lips. But in his eyes Thorin can see that although his body is failing him at his grand old age, his spark and his sharp mind are definitely still there.  

Gandalf walks over to his love, wrapping his arms around his partner's shoulder. “Saruman cannot wait to meet your Kili. I have been telling him what a dish he is.” He places a kiss to his partner’s cheek.

Thorin laughs at that. "He is. And he makes me very happy," he smiles to both his seniors. "And he will honoured to meet you, my dear friend," he nods to Saruman.

He can feel his heartbeat speed up when a servant walks up to Gandalf to announce that Fanny and Kili have arrived. _Don't be silly, it's just for show,_ he reprimands his nerves. But really it isn't, he immediately realises. This is what a wedding is about. Not about churches or synagogues. But about making that commitment in front of their friends. _I wish Frerin would be here,_ he thinks to his own surprise, despite knowing that his brother never would accept this. _And Fili...._ He feels a sudden sadness that it is only his friends here to witness this and not Kili's. _What was that boy called he used to hang out with? And of course there's Bilbo...._   _If I had known!_

But before he can worry any more about those who cannot be here his breath is knocked out of him as the large double doors at the end of the room open. "Kili." He just has to say it out loud, as if to confirm that this is not a dream. _He looks beautiful!_ he beams, taking in the picture of his beloved dressed as a proper gentleman, white frock coat over white silk, with the same deep blue cravat around his sleek neck as Thorin is wearing. Miss Fanny on his arm to give him away. _I can't believe how grown up you look. So beautiful. So perfect._ He has to blink away his overwhelming emotions and smiles when he feels Gandalf squeeze his shoulder in approval.

Kili can feel all eyes turn to him but he only has eyes for one person - his Thorin. He can feel a lump form in his throat as he gazes into his eyes. _This man is everything to me. Parent, lover but most importantly my best friend._ He slowly walks in between the chairs, standing tall and proud. As he nears Thorin he cannot help but run the last few steps, wrapping his arms around his waist, not caring if it is the appropriate thing to do or not. “You look beautiful,” he utters his voice full of emotion.

Saruman raises his eyes to the happy couple and begins to clap slowly, initiating a spontaneous applause from all those gathered.

Thorin beams into Kili's eyes, tears of happiness gleaming in his own. "My love," he smiles. "You look amazing. Did … did you know anything about this?"

Kili shakes his head. “I knew nothing, darling, nothing until Thranduil told me.” Tears run down his face. “I love you so very much, Thorin.”

"I love you so very much too," Thorin beams. He looks to Fanny and mouths _thank you,_ before they both turn to Gandalf who is clearing his throat to get everyone's attention.

“Thank you all for coming to this joyous occasion,” Gandalf beams, looking around the crowded room. “Today we are here to celebrate the love of Thorin and Kili, who wish to make the ultimate act of love by pledging themselves to each other for as long as they both shall live.”

Thorin squeezes Kili's hand softly, giving him a quick wink. _Thranduil, you crazy man,_ he thinks with a grin. But he's never been more grateful for one of his friend's outrageous ideas as he is right now.

He is even more surprised when one of Gandalf's closest friends steps in before them; a gentleman who he knows is also a High Court judge. And although the man is straight, Thorin knows he is someone who had always accepted other lifestyles and whom he had met at some of Gandalf's famous parties before.

“On this happy day I am glad to introduce Radagast Brown to perform the ceremony.” Gandalf sits down next to his partner, taking his frail hand in his, rubbing softly along the back of it.  

The judge stands up and smiles at both Thorin and Kili. “I am pleased and honoured to be asked to oversee these proceedings. He looks into Thorin’s sparkling eyes and smiles. “Before you declare your vows to one another, would you please confirm that it is indeed your intention to be married today. Thorin Oakenshield, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Kili Durin in marriage? If so, answer _I do_.”  

"I do," Thorin says firmly, smiling happily at his beloved.

Radagast the turns to the younger man. “And you, Kili Durin, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Thorin Oakenshield in marriage? If so, answer _I do_.?”

“I do, yes, always!” Kili beams happily holding Thorin’s hand tightly.

“Why I think we can skip the bit about any lawful reasons that prevent these two wonderful young men from saying their vows, for we all could quote at least a dozen,” Radagast adds with a chuckle, earning him a hearty laugh from all gathered. “Nonetheless, whilst we wait for our judicial system to catch up with such love as these young men share, I will see that this commitment is made from the heart.” The judge turns to Gandalf to hand the two lovers the vows they had written down for them. "Having heard that it is your intention to be married to each other, I now ask you to declare your marriage vows. Thorin, if you would declare your vows to Kili for all to hear."   

Thorin nods, taking the piece of paper. He turns towards Kili, taking his hand in his. “You are my lovely groom, my fair prince. In fact you are the fairest of all men, and I choose you this day to be my husband. I promise to love you and to care for you with joy, as a delicate flower. I shan't neglect you, causing you to wilt. But I shall always nourish you with my love, building you up, and encourage you to bloom ever more with blooms lovelier every day.  Kili, I vow to be true to you and to cherish you every day of my life,” he pledges his vows, looking deep into Kili’s eyes.

Radagast nods in approval and turns to Kili. “And Kili, if you would now declare your vows to Thorin for all to hear."   

Kili can feel happy tears run down his face. He looks at the piece of paper. He can make out most of the words but not all and turns to Miss Fanny. _Help_ he pleads silently.

Thorin is about to step in to help Kili, but he quickly retracts as he sees Kili already signal to Fanny for help.

“Of course,” Fanny whispers quietly, looking over Kili’s shoulder at the paper and reading the first line out quietly for Kili to repeat.

Gandalf can feel his eyes widen as it dawns on him. _The boy does not know how to read! How can someone of that age not know?_ he wonders but bites his tongue and watches Kili repeat the words.

“You are my handsome groom, a good, upright man. I choose you this day to be my husband. I promise to be your dependable helpmate and to love you and care for you every day for the rest of my life.” He smiles and looks to Fanny for the next bit.

Thorin beams as he watches his best friend and his beloved together, Fanny softly whispering the words in Kili’s ear and Kili repeating them with such care and concentration. _You are doing so well, my sweet prince_ , he thinks proudly.

I shall be your shade, your sanctuary, at the end of each day. I shall always nourish you with my love, building you up and encouraging you. Thorin, I vow to be true to you and to cherish you every day of my life,” Kili repeats then places the paper in his pocket and looks deep into Thorin’s shining blue eyes. Then he quickly adds, “I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had. And no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours, now and forever till the end of time.”

Thorin chuckles, smiling even more happily that Kili has been able to say it in his own words too. “You are too sweet,” he whispers.

Fanny winks at Kili and Thorin and steps back, nodding to Radagast to continue.

“I will now ask you, Thorin, to place the ring you have chosen for Kili, on his finger, as an outward sign of the bond which already unites your hearts in love.”

Fanny quickly steps forward towards Thorin, holding out the beautiful golden ring with the fine blue jewel in its centre that she had asked Kili to give to her just before they left Thorin’s rooms. 

Thorin takes the expensive ring and takes Kili’s hand in his large one, repeating the words as Radagast reads them out to him. “With this ring I marry you. Wear this ring forever, as a sign of my love.” And he slides the jewel onto Kili’s slim finger.

Kili lets out a happy sob as he looks at his perfect ring. “I love you so much,” he whispers, looking deep into Thorin’s eyes. “I will cherish it forever.”

Thorin brings the sleek hand up to his lips. “You make me so happy,” he says softly.

“Thorin and Kili, you have committed yourselves – one to the other, “Radagast announces, “by the pledge of your marriage vows and the gift of this wedding ring. Your life is now one.” The judge smiles widely then turns to Thorin. “You may kiss your Kili now,” he says with a wink.

Thorin does not need to be told twice. He takes Kili’s face between his hands and kisses him long and deep, not caring that he probably should have kept it to little more than a peck. None of this is following real protocol and he finds that for that it is even more special, more personal than his first, ‘real’ wedding had been.

Kili runs his hands deep into Thorin’s hair. _He is my husband! We are one forever!_ His heart jumps with joy. “I love you, husband.”

“I love you too, my beloved Kili,” Thorin smiles back, feeling his heart bloom with more love that he thinks it can possibly contain.

“I ask the Maid of Honour and Best Man to be the first to congratulate the happy couple,” Radagast completes the ceremony in absence of them being able to sign the official marriage documents. Even fake documents are too risky for there must be no trace of this unlawful commitment anywhere or they would all be at risk.

The next moment they are both enveloped by Miss Fanny who kisses them each on the cheek. “Congratulations!” she squeals. “Wonderful, just wonderful!”

“Thank you,” Kili laughs at Fanny’s enthusiasm. “I am sorry I don't have bouquet to chuck.” He laughs as Fanny’s face drops then turns more serious, “Thank you for this, Thranduil. It means the world to me that you would organise this for me and Thorin.” 

Thranduil nods, responding in his normal, more masculine voice, “It has been my greatest pleasure. You two,” he looks to the both of them, “have something very special. It matters not what age, class or sex you are, you have found true love. And that really is something that even if you met all of society’s standards is rare to find.” Turning back on his act, he adds, “And thanks you for making my grumpy English friend just a little less moody.”

“Hey!” Thorin pulls an offended face, but then drags his friend into a firm embrace. “Thank you, Thranduil. Thank you for everything.”

“Why, I told you the young man deserved a proper wedding,” Fanny smiles coquettishly, but then says seriously. “Look after him, Thorin. Look after each other,” he says to both. And then he steps aside Gandalf to pass his best wishes to the happy couple.

Gandalf places his hands on both Thorin and Kili’s shoulders. “Congratulations, my boys,”he beams handing them both a glass of champagne from a waiter then taking one for himself , taking a sip from his own glass. “Saruman wishes to congratulate you both too,”  he nods to his partner.

Thorin smiles widely. “Thank you, Gandalf, for your wishes and for allowing us to wed in your home.” He takes Kili’s hand, “Please let me introduce you to someone very special,” he smiles leading him to the frail elderly man in the wheelchair. He moves a couple of chairs so that they can be at eye level with the gentleman. “Kili, this is Sir Saruman White. Saruman, my dear friend, may I introduce my new husband to you.”

“Why … what a pleasure,” Saruman nods slowly. He reaches out his thin hand to Kili.

Kili sits on the nearby chair shaking the elderly man’s hand remembering what Thorin had said about this being Gandalf’s life partner “ Pleased to meet you sir and thank you for allowing us the use of your beautiful home.”

“You’re a nice boy,” Saruman grins a toothy grin at the youngster. He looks to Thorin, “A fine husband indeed,” he says slowly. He takes a moment to catch his next breath. “Congratulations, Thorin. I wish you … a life of happiness.”

“Thank you,” Thorin takes his friend’s hand carefully, pressing a kiss on the back of it. “You have honoured me so much by being present at my wedding. Thank you for everything.”

As Thorin moves to get up again and Kili means to do the same when the older man holds his hand up to the youngster. “Stay … a moment,” he rasps. “So I can … get to know you.”

Kili smiles at the elderly man. “It would be my pleasure, sir.” He takes a seat next to Saruman and takes a sip of his champagne.

“Will you be alright a moment?” Thorin asks Kili, leaning in to kiss his cheek.

Kili nods giving Thorin’s hand a squeeze. “I will be fine, darling. Why don't you mingle with your friends?”

Thorin nods, happy that Kili feels so comfortable around the people who have played such an important role in his life. “I shall find you in a little while.”

When Thorin has left them, Saruman says to Kili. “You had best look after him, my son. Thorin … he is like a son to me … and Gandalf.” 

Kili lets out a little nervous laugh. “Thorin is everything to me. I promise you I will look after him just as well as he looks after me. He is my rock, sir.”

Saruman nods appreciatively. “Then it is my … pleasure … to welcome to into my home,” he says slowly, smiling at Kili. “Thorin is a good man. Clever. Proud. But he has … been lonely.” He looks to where Thorin is now talking to his partner. “I have been very blessed,” he nods to them. “To have found someone … I love very dearly. Who takes care of me. I wish you the same … happiness.”

“I owe Thorin my life, sir,” Kili admits watching his husband talking with Gandalf. “I have no family apart from him. I think we were meant to be together and he takes care of me very well.”’

Saruman begs Kili a little closer with his finger. “There are two secrets … to a long relationship,” he says softly. “Honesty and respect.” He chuckles at himself, coughing a little, “Maybe there are three … we must not forget … good sex,” he winks at the youngster. 

Kili splutters at this, not expecting something so crude from the frail man. _Oh I like him!_ “Yes, I have no complaints in that department… Thorin is my stallion.” he puts his hands over his mouth when he realises what he has just said and erupts in a fit of giggles.

Saruman chuckles too. “Good. Good boy,” he pats the youngster softly on his thigh. “It … keeps us young,” he grins widely. “Now, you’d best go … and enjoy yourself. It is your wedding day after all. It … has been a pleasure … to meet you,” he stresses, struggling to get enough air into his lungs now and he waves to his valet who is standing in the corner of the room. “I hope … we will meet … again.” He takes the youngster hand again and kisses it softly.

“I would like that very much sir.” Kili looks at the elderly man with worry as he listens to him cough. _That reminds me of Ma’s cough,_ he thinks, feeling his blood chill at this. He watches the man leave the room and feels sorrow for Saruman and Gandalf. _I hope that he recovers._ He  gets up and then turns to a gentleman who holds out his hand to congratulate him and begins making conversation.  

Gandalf smiles happily at Thorin. _It is so nice to see him this happy._ “So how did you meet?” he asks the question, which he had wondered since he had found out about Kili’s lack of education.

"Ehrm..." Thorin cannot help feeling a little embarrassed about the truth and he hesitates for a moment, wondering how his mentor will take this. "He … he was my housekeeper's son. When she passed away I took custody over him," he says quietly. "I did not mean to fall in love with him..." he adds sheepishly.

Gandalf lets out a little gasp of surprise. _I cannot believe Thorin would marry someone of the lower class._ He glances at the young boy trying to act the part and feels his face break into a little smile. “I can see why you fell for him. He does have character.  He looks more seriously at his ex-pupil. “But he must learn the proper etiquette required of a gentleman and he needs to learn to read and write,” he says, worry etching his brow. “And I would suggest now you are wed you two move to a bigger house. It would draw less attention.”

Thorin looks at Gandalf in surprise. He is relieved that the older man doesn't disapprove entirely and considers his advice. "You are right. It would only be proper. And I am teaching Kili to read and write. He's a keen pupil I think he'll learn quickly. Thank you for your advice."

Gandalf squeezes Thorin’s shoulder “Anytime, my dear boy, I wish you and Kili all the happiness in the world.” He looks back at the boy. _Well, he certainly knows how to win people around,_ he thinks as the gentleman he is talking to roars with laughter at something he has just said. He then turns to look for his own partner noting he has already left the room.  “Excuse me please, Thorin. I must check on Saruman. Tonight has been quite demanding for him.”  

Thorin nods at his older friend and smiles when Fanny promptly walks over and hands him another drink. "You look lovely tonight, my dear," he compliments his friend, taking in the stylish blue dress that compliments his own cravat.

The American does a little twirl. "Why, thank you darling," hhe grins. "So ... ?"

"So?" Thorin tilts his head.

"Are you happy?" Thranduil asks with a smug grin.

Thorin nods, smiling brightly. "Yes. Happier than I have felt in a very long time." He glances over at his new husband. "He's beautiful," he says lovingly. "He is making a real effort. He's started to read now. He really wants to do right. And seeing him like that, dressed up like a real gentleman ..."

"He is a lovely young man, Thorin," Thranduil smiles at his loved up friend. “He will do you proud, I am sure of it. I am just happy that you have found someone to share your life with.”

“Me too,” Thorin smiles back, turning to Fanny. “Gandalf suggested I purchase us a house together. Said it would raise less suspicion as to the nature of our relationship.”

Thranduil consider this and nods slowly. “Yes, he may well be right. He could even pass off as your nephew. You have similar features. Then he can truly be your little gentleman and does not have to pretend to be your servant anymore.”

“That’s … an interesting idea,” Thorin thinks it through. “Yes, it might work. Somewhere outside Westminster City…” He presses a kiss on Fanny’s cheek. “Thank you. Please excuse me,” he says as he can hear the little orchestra next door starting to play.

He walks over to Kili and holds out his hand. “May I have the first dance with my new husband?” he beams at his handsome betrothed.

Kili takes Thorin’s hand placing a soft kiss upon it. “It would be my honour, husband,” Kili says allowing himself to be led into the adjacent room and onto the centre of the dance floor. He can feel eyes upon them and a blush creeps up on his neck.

Just relax, my beloved,” Thorin reassures as he can feel Kili tense up. “Let me lead. You will do fine. Place your left hand onto my shoulder,” he guides as he takes Kili’s right hand in his left and places his own right hand on Kili’s upper back, taking up position.

Kili nods as Thorin sets up their position, whispering reassurances in his ear as they begin to dance a slow Viennese Waltz. He is nervous that he has no idea how to do this, but soon finds that Thorin’s strong grip on him leads him into the right moves and that he has little option but to follow his lead as he sways him around the room, twirling him around before he takes up their starting position again.

“You look beautiful,” Thorin grins as Kili as he leads him along the perimeter of the highly polished dance floor, showing his beloved off to all those gathered. It is clear to him that Kili his never danced this type of dance before, but his strong lead on him allows the youngster to follow his step well enough, even if he does occasionally trip over his own feet.

Kili finds himself relax as he is whirled around. “You look so handsome. I so love being able to claim you for all to see,” Kili grins as Thorin twirls him around. “Thranduil has done amazing organising all this for us.”

“He has,” Thorin agrees. “We owe him and Gandalf a lot.” He makes Kili twirl under his raised arm once more and then bows to him as the music comes to an end, to applause from all those watching them.

“Maybe I could cook a meal for us all soon,” Kili suggests, bowing and looks around at all the happy faces. _They are here for us. I cannot believe how many people accept us for us. Maybe one day we won’t have to hide our love._

Thorin takes Kili’s hand, leading him off the dancefloor as others now fill the space for the next dance. “Would you allow me to have the next dance with our lovely Miss Fanny?” he asks his beloved.

Kili looks at Fanny who is fanning herself with a little fan. “I think you’d better, we all know she will throw a tantrum if you don’t,” Kili jests giving the blonde a wave as she notes Kili watching her. “Go on go, ask your friend,” Kili smiles giving his beloved a peck on the cheek.

Thorin laughs and then gives an upright bow to Kili again before he walks over to his best friend. “May I have this dance, my fair lady?” he beams at him.

Fanny giggles and holds out her hand for Thorin to lead them onto the dancefloor to join the others in a faster paced group dance.

Kili walks off the dance floor knowing there is no way he can keep up with the pace. He grabs a fresh glass of champagne off a nearby waiter. As he watches his beloved dance with the American and finds his face break into a large smile. _I shall have to get Thorin to teach me all those dances._

When Gandalf returns to the large hall he spots the brunet sat on the side-line and cannot help feel a little sorry for him as he watches the other guests dance. He walks over to where he is sat. “Would you mind if I join you, young Kili. I find myself too old to keep pace with these youngsters,” he grins with a twinkle in his eye, taking the seat when Kili nods. “So how are you finding the party?”

“It is wonderful, sir. Your house is truly beautiful,” Kili comments, taking a sip of his champagne and looking at the architecture of the property in awe. “Erebor is bigger but not as grand,” Kili smiles at the elderly man then remembers what Thorin had said about this being a friend of his father’s. “Have you ever been to Erebor hall sir?”

“I have, dear boy, many times,” the elderly man replies, taking out a thin cigar and offering one to Thorin’s new husband. “It a lovely place, you must miss it greatly,” he smiles, holding out a match to the cigar that he had given the brunet.

“I do, but as long as I have my Thorin I am happy wherever I am,” Kili smiles, watching as Thorin twirls a giggling Thranduil around. “Thorin is my home now. My place is beside him to make him happy,” Kili says softly. “Are you and Mister Saruman married?”

Gandalf gives a little chuckle. “We have lived together so long and live much the same as you as if we are wed,” he explains. “We have been together for thirty years. But we did not have a ceremony like this.”

Kili smiles at the soft look on the elderly man’s face as he talks about his beloved. “I hope me and Thorin are together for as long as you have been, sir. I can tell how much you love each other,” Kili says. When he sees a flutter of sadness flick across his face, he adds, “I am so sorry to hear he is unwell.”

At this Gandalf feels a rush of sadness and a lump forms in his throat. “That is so kind of you, my boy.” He takes the teen’s hand and squeezes it gently. “Thorin picked a beautiful person to commit himself too,” he beams. “You remind me so much of Arwen; you have the same spirit, so full of life. She would have approved of you.”

Kili smiles at this comment. “I know I can never give him the family he deserves. Thorin would make an excellent father,” Kili states, feeling a little sad that his beloved will never have the chance to nurture and raise a family of his own. “But I can give him all my heart. He has all my heart.”

 _These two were made for each other,_ Gandalf thinks softly as he watches the way Kili looks at his husband with so much love and care. “That is all a man needs to finds true happiness,” he smiles. “Never wish for the things you can never have. Always be grateful for the things you do have.”

Kili smiles at the man’s wise words.

As the dance finishes they note Thorin scan the room and lock eyes with his husband before he makes his way through the crowd towards them.

Gandalf holds out a smoke for him. “Cigar, dear boy?”

“Thank you,” Thorin takes the offered treat, catching his breath after the pacey dance. He smiles to Fanny behind him. “That was fun, but now I need to sit down,” he chuckles.

“Old man,” Fanny snorts, giving Kili a little wink. “Do you want to dance, Kili?” she asks.

Kili looks at his husband. “Do you mind?” he asks.

Thorin waves his hand, grinning at his young lover. “Be my guest. If you can keep up with our lovely lady here.” He watches Kili take Fanny’s hand; already his keen eye has picked up on some of the etiquette that is expected of a gentleman and it makes his heart sing the most wonderful song. “Shall we go to the smoking room?” he asks Gandalf, really needing to sit down or he feels his legs might give way from under him.

Gandalf nods, linking arms with ex pupil and leading the way into a little side room off the main dancing area. “Would you like a brandy?”   he asks reaching for the little drinks cabinet beside the sofa sitting himself in front of the hearth.

“I would, thank you,” Thorin nods gratefully, sitting down next to his friend and mentor. “This has been a wonderful evening,” he smiles, taking a sip.

Gandalf smiles widely. “It has, I am glad I could be a part of Kili and your special day.” He takes a sip of his own brandy. “And it means the world to Saruman to see you happy again.”

“It means everything to me that he was able to witness it today,” Thorin agrees. “The both of you, you have been like parents to me. It breaks my heart to see him so frail now. I would like to say thank you to him again before we leave today.”

“Actually, we have had one of the spare rooms set up for you and your young husband,” the elderly gentleman beams. “Call it a honeymoon suite,” he winks, wriggling his nose at the same time. “And I have made sure it is far enough away from my room.”

Thorin almost chokes on his liquor and he can feel himself blush. “Gandalf!” he utters, embarrassed. But he smiles nonetheless. “Thank you,” he says, looking into his glass. “That is very thoughtful of you.” He bites his lip, then chuckles softly.

Gandalf lets out a little laugh as he notes Thorin’s coloured cheeks. He walks up to the little fire place and takes an envelope from behind the carriage clock, handing it to Thorin. “This is from Saruman. He wished to give it to you himself but found he was too weak.”  

“What is this?” Thorin asks, confused, as he accepts the envelope, staring at the wax seal.

“A wedding gift for you and your Kili,” Gandalf smiles taking a huge swig of his brandy. “We have talked about this for hours, whether to wait until….. well until Saruman’s time comes or to give it to you now and we both decided we would like to see your enjoyment of it.” The elderly man sits in the seat beside his ex-pupil. “Why, open it.” 

Thorin can feel his hands shake as he breaks the seal. He does not like Gandalf’s reference to Saruman’s imminent fate, but he is old and wise enough to know there is no point in denying the inevitable. He slowly pulls the parchment out of the envelope. “I - I don’t understand,” he stutters as he pulls the title deeds out, furrowing his brow.

The elderly man takes Thorin’s hand in his. “We both see you as our son. We have no children of our own and as our son you are also our heir,” Gandalf explains softly. “When both of us have passed you will gain all our estate and wealth, but we want you and your husband to have somewhere to call home now. So we would like to give you Angrenost with our best wishes.” Gandalf rubs the back of Thorin’s hand softly.

Thorin stares at his friend and then at the deed again, shaking his head in disbelief. “I cannot accept this …” he says quietly as he feels tears brimming in his eyes. He looks into Gandalf’s grey blue eyes again, seeing the fatherly love in them and he cannot hold back those tears any longer as they run down his cheeks and into his beard. “I don’t know what to say … T-thank you. Thank you so.” He puts the valuable document on the table and wraps his arms around his mentor, burying his face in his coat, sobbing with happiness and sadness all at once.

Gandalf runs his hands Thorin’s hair and places a kiss to his brow. “It’s alright, my boy,” he soothes, feeling tears run down his own face at the thought of what he knows he is going to lose. “We just want to see you happy, my son.”

“I am,” Thorin says earnestly, wiping his face with a kerchief. “And this gift … We will both cherish it. We will make it a home, a second home here in London.” He feels his face light up as he thinks about telling Kili about it. “Kili will love it,” he smiles, looking at the deeds again. “Thank you so so much,” he hugs the man again then raises his glass, clinking it against Gandalf’s. “To love, no matter in what form it comes,” he says.

“To love.” Gandalf smiles and takes a large mouthful.

“Please excuse me,” Thorin gets to his feet putting his empty glass down and picking up the papers. “I must go and tell Kili,” he says excitedly.

“Yes you must,” Gandalf laughs. “And you may want these also,” he grins, taking the keys for the house out of his pocket and placing them in Thorin’s large hands.

Thorin squeezes the keys inside his fist, beaming from ear to ear. He leans forward and kisses Gandalf on his forehead. “Thank you,” he says again, frustrated with the lack of suitable words with which to express his gratitude and then he is rushing out of the smoking room back towards the ballroom, almost running in his excitement.

Kili can feel a grin spread from ear to ear as his husband stride over to the dance floor to scoop him up into his large arms. “Hello,” Kili giggles wrapping his arms around him, surprised at his bold actions.

“Oh Kili, I have the most amazing news for you!” Thorin beams, lifting Kili off the floor and swinging his beloved around.

Kili laughs loudly “What news darling?” he asks as he lets out a yelp of surprise as he is twirled around in the air. “What news?” he repeats when Thorin does not answer straight away. 

“Firstly,” Thorin grins, putting his lover back onto his feet and kissing his nose, “We are staying here tonight. Gandalf has had one of the rooms prepared for us. As a bridal suite.” He wiggles his eyebrows in a promising way to his young betrothed.

Kili can feel himself flush at Thorin’s expression. “Does that mean we have to be quiet?” he asks so only Thorin can hear him. “We don’t really do quiet well, either of us.”

Thorin can feel his cheeks turns red again and he grabs Kili’s hand, leading him away from the gathered guests. Fanny is nowhere to be seen in any case as she has no doubt mingled with her other friends and admirers. “No, it’s a big house,” he whispers cheekily, giving Kili a meaningful wink. “But there is another surprise. A very big surprise.” He turns serious now as he puts the papers under his arm so that he can take both Kili’s hands in his as he leads him to sit down in a side room. He does not want to flaunt his friends’ generosity, especially since it is so tragically interwoven with the sadness that will come all too soon.

Kili looks into Thorin’s serious face. “Is everything okay?” he asks, sitting next to his husband and leaning against him. “What big surprise, love?” _What can be a bigger surprise than a surprise wedding?_ he asks himself but waits patiently.

Thorin takes a deep breath. This is huge he knows, for both of them, and he hopes Kili will be as excited as he is. “Kili, I told you how Gandalf and Saruman are like fathers to me. You have seen how ill Saruman is,” he says, feeling the heavy sadness in his heart at that. “He has given us a very big present for our wedding.” He squeezes Kili’s hands, still not believing it himself. “Kili, he has given us his house. They want us to live together in London in a proper house.”

Kili lets out a gasp of shock at this. “We….we have a house ...?” As the news sinks in he wraps his arms around Thorin’s shoulders squealing with excitement. “Oh my gosh we have a house! Where is this house?” he asks, then feels his face drop. “How ill is Mister Saruman?” Suddenly sadness dampens his happy mood. “Can he be made better?” 

 

Thorin slowly shakes his head. “I am afraid not. It is his heart that is failing him, Kili. No doctor will be able to cure him from that. But he has lived a very long and very good life. It is sad that he will have to leave us one day. But we must be grateful for the life he has been able to enjoy and the love he has given those around him,” he says firmly. “He lives here most of the time in any case and he wants us to have the house now so that he can still be part of the joy of us moving in,” he tries to make this something positive. “The house is in Clapham. It is a very nice part of London, south of the river. It is where Thranduil lives too.”

Kili nods. “Will you still keep your rooms?” he asks quietly. “Gandalf and Saruman really love you very much, Thorin,” he beams, looking into his face. “We shall fill the house with joy and laughter,” he promises. “We will make Mister Saruman glad of his decision.” He thinks about the elderly couple feeling a rush of sorrow for Gandalf. _He will be so lonely living here on his own when Saruman passes._

“We will,” Thorin beams, kissing Kili’s lips. “No, I will not keep my rooms. I shall have a study in our new home. Gandalf and I will go to the land register tomorrow morning to sign the deeds over. And then we can go and have a look at the house if you would like,” he says, feeling his own excitement bubble up.

“Yes, I would love to see our home,” Kili babbles “I can't believe we have a home. Can I decorate it? Our room will be blue,” he decides with a grin. “The same blue of the cravats.”

Thorin chuckles. “One step at a time, my love. Of course for appearance we will each have our own room.” When he sees Kili’s smile drop, he cups his face. “However,” he quickly adds, “Thranduil made a fine suggestion. Perhaps we could pretend we are uncle and nephew. You will not be my valet any longer, my love, now that you are my betrothed. You will be a proper gentleman and treated as such. We will employ proper staff. Of course we will have to be careful exactly whom we employ, but references between the people you have met tonight have proven a reasonable security over the years.” He beams and kisses Kili full on the mouth again. “I am so excited!” he chuckles as his own emotions.

For a split second Thorin looks like an excited teenager and Kili cannot help but join his laughter. “As am I! Our own house where we truly can be equals.” He lets out a happy sigh.” I thought that world was just a dream, but now….” then he has a sudden thought “Mr Balin! Can Mr Balin come and live with us? And the dogs? Oh and Jayne?”

Thorin laughs but shakes his head. “I think Mr Balin likes to be retired in the countryside. And there is nothing in London for him or our animals. But we will visit Erebor more often,” he promises. “However, I did wonder about Mary and her son ....” Thorin smiles, remembering how well Kili had got on with the young boy Maurice. “She is a fine housemaid and the boy could do chores.”

“You mean Maurice can live with us?” Kili beams. “Oh I can teach him to read and write after I learn how to.” He takes Thorin’s hand in his. “Thank you, my love.” He brings Thorin’s hand up to his lips placing a soft kiss on it. “What did I do to deserve such a fine husband?”

“You defrosted my heart,” Thorin says genuinely. “And made me see what it is important in life again.” He brushes his hand across Kili’s cheek, smiling warmly at him. “Thank you for giving me a chance. I know we did not start off on the best of footings and the fact that you have stood by me through it all … You are very special, my beloved.”

“Thank you for giving me a chance too,” Kili smiles, wrapping his arms around his lover. “If It was not for you I would probably be in some prison for theft or still in the whore house.” He knows Thorin does not like to think of this and can see pain shift across his face but continues knowing he has to say this. “You really have made my life change so completely. I never believed I could have someone who would love me, even with my flaws.” He can feel tears leave his eyes. “My mother would be so happy for us; she really did think the world of you.”

“They say opposites attract. I think we complement each other,” Thorin says. “Now, my love, shall we bid goodnight to our wonderful guests. And go and check out our honeymoon suite?”

“Yes let’s see this honeymoon suite,” Kili grins, standing up and holding his hand out for Thorin to take.

+++

They gave their grateful thanks to all those who had gathered to wish them a life of happiness - mostly people from the law profession, both friends of Gandalf and Thorin, some acquaintances from Mother Claps, the odd friend of Thranduil. Most were men although there were some with a wife and even one lady-couple. Thorin felt overwhelmed once more by how many had come to wish them well, at their own risk. He estimated there were perhaps two dozen, maybe even thirty people here, which might not be much if you compared it to a lawful wedding between a barrister and his wife, but under the circumstances - illegally marrying another man from another class - it was humbling.

At the end of that line Thorin forgets any etiquette of shaking hands or kissing the back of the hand of the ladies, when he wraps Fanny into a gentle embrace. “I can never thank you enough, my friend,” he whispers into the long locks of her wig. He kisses her softly on the cheek, trying not to completely lose his composure.

“The only thanks I need, my darling, is to see you happy,” Thranduil shakes his head. “Now off with you. Take care of your bride as a groom should,” he winks to Kili.

Kili moves closer to Fanny wrapping his  arms around her as so much friendship rushes through him. _He really is one of my best friends too._ “You are such a lovely person. Thank you for making this day wonderful,” the brunet whispers placing a kiss on her cheek.

Fanny is rather taken by surprise by Kili’s affection and smiles widely. “You are welcome, little Kee. Now go and take care of your husband,” she smiles, gently shoving the youngster back into Thorin’s arms. “Enjoy your wedding night,” she winks at them both, fanning her face coquettishly.

“We will,” Thorin grins wickedly and scoops Kili into his strong arms. “Come, my bride,” he kisses his lover on the lips. “Let me remind you why it was a good idea to marry me.”

Kili blushes then gives out a laugh. “Okay love,” he giggles as Thorin carries him out of the room and up the stairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB. The wedding vows are real Victorian wedding vows, albeit adapted for a gay wedding, i.e. Thorin's vows to Kili would normally have been for the bride so Fanny and Gandalf have changed these to suit.


	59. Wedding Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter in this first part. Thank you to all our wonderful readers of your support, you loving and passionate feedback. Rest assured we will be back with a part two. Enjoy!

Thorin swings Kili onto the luxurious four poster bed, grinning at him like a hungry wolf. He climbs on top of him, straddling him as he begins to place needy kisses all over his face and down his neck, fumbling with his cravat as he does. “My beautiful husband,” he sighs through his kisses.

Kili groans and wraps his arms around Thorin’s strong shoulders. “My handsome husband,” he purrs back, running his hands deep into his thick hair. He managed to untie the cravat and then reaches for Thorin’s top shirt button, slowly undoing it, running his hands over his chest hair.

“I cannot believe this is our wedding night,” Thorin whispers softly, closing his eyes to enjoy Kili’s touch. “I never thought we would enjoy this together. We owe Thranduil and Gandalf so much.” He opens his eyes again to beam into those big brown orbs gleaming back at him. “I owe _you_ so much,” he adds.

Kili smiles suddenly, feeling a little shy. “You are my saviour.” He slowly moves his hands further down Thorin’s chest,  tugging at his nipple playfully. “I want you, darling,” he demands running his tongue along the shell of Thorin’s ear. “I want you to take me every which way.”  

Thorin nods, untying Kili’s cravat. “I will make you mine, my love. Always mine. I want to love you so very much.” He leans forward again to brush their lips together, swiping his tongue over Kili’s full lips.

Kili slowly parts his lips allowing his love access. He can taste alcohol on his tongue and slowly begins to explore his mouth with his own. “You taste wonderful,” he grins as they pull apart.

“Mmm,” Thorin just murmurs, his hands unbuttoning Kili’s shirt. His fingertips play with the luxurious material, feeling his sleek form through the soft fabric. “Remind me to buy you lots of silk shirt,” he grins, looking up. “You feel very sexy in them.”

“Then I shall wear them all the time,” Kili promises pulling Thorin’s shirt apart as he finally manages to undo the last button. He pulls Thorin’s nipple a little harder. “Want you so bad,” he gasps as he feels his cock push against his slacks. “Need you, husband.”

“I like it when you say that,” Thorin admits, groaning under the ministrations. He pulls loose the button of Kili’s slacks and rubs his thumb over his briefs. “I like it that you need me.” He shuffles himself down and presses his lips to Kili’s cottons, loving that unique smell of his arousal tickle his nostrils.

“I will always need you,” Kili pants as he feels Thorin’s warm breath through his cottons. “Always have needed you.” He wraps his fingers deep into Thorin’s hair. “Please Thorin.”  

Thorin pulls at the band of Kili’s underwear, letting his prick bounce free as he pulls down both the garment and his slack in one go. “Mmm, my delightful boy,” he smiles, nuzzling himself against Kili’s privates. “Love to kiss you down there,” he whispers thickly, pressing little butterfly kisses over his sack and then along the base of his cock. “You smell so deliciously horny.”

Kili groans at Thorin’s teasing touch. He can feel Thorin’s devilish hot tongue lick all over his shaft, but missing the places he really wants to feel it. “You are enjoying this,” he moans bucking his hips into the air, resisting the urge to push Thorin where he really wants him to be.

“Oh I am,” Thorin grins, licking his tongue long and slow along Kili’s length, just up to his crown, then letting go again. “I love to see you writhe for me.” He rolls himself off his lover, hastily pulling at his own clothes, irritated now by so much material between him and his beloved. “Take off your shirt and trousers,” he orders Kili with a nod as his lover still lies half entangled in his partially removed wedding clothes.

Kili hastily pulls off the expensive shirt, chucking it on the bedside table, and lifts his buttocks in the air, pulling at his slacks so quickly he nearly falls off the bed in his excitement. His eyes follow Thorin who seems to have slowed down when he realised Kili is watching him like a piece of meat .“Tease.”  

Thorin just raises his eyebrows as he takes his time pulling down his trousers. “We have all night, my love,” he grins, although his voice sounds a lot calmer than the rest of his body feels, yearning so passionately to be inside his Kili now. He reaches for the sleek brunet again, taking him in his arms, thrusting his hips forward a little to push their erections together. “I want to make you feel good,” he purrs. “You looked so very beautiful tonight when you walked down that aisle … I could not believe my luck. I could not believe you were truly walking towards me to vow to be mine forever.”

“As did you, my beautiful love.” Kili gets a flashback of the train ride, how Thorin had rubbed them together until they were spent and finds a goofy grin spread over his face as he thinks about far they have come since then. He begins to buck his hips in time with his beloved. “You always make me feel good. Heaven is when I am with you.”

“My little poet,” Thorin smiles, showering Kili’s face in kisses again.

He brings his middle and index finger to Kili’s mouth. “Suck, my lover,” he orders, licking his own lips.

Kili takes Thorin’s large fingers in the warmth of his mouth, twirling his muscle around and along the digits. He can feel his stomach give an excited launch and his cock twitch in anticipation. And he raises his eyes to look into Thorin’s which have now widened and darkened with lust.

When Thorin pulls back his slicked fingers he is quick to replace the void with his tongue, kissing his beloved Kili deeply as his fingers search for their goal, teasing between his lovely soft buttocks until he feels the rumpled skin of Kili’s entrance. The brunet groans into his mouth and he twirls his tongue with more energy before he pushes both fingers into that hot tight channel.

Kili lets out a gasp as he feels Thorin’s huge fingers wiggle inside of him. “G-good.” He groans locking lips with Thorin’s again pressing his tongue against Thorin's as they battle for dominance.

Thorin pulls his lover harder against him, pulling up his leg across his own to give him better access as he prods his lover’s special place. He rubs along the soft inner wall, trying to find that spot that he now knows makes Kili shout with pleasure and within moments he knows he has struck gold as his lover bucks and whimpers loudly. “You like that, my love?” he grins self-satisfied.

Kili nods, feeling sweat pour down his brow. “Yes! Yes Thorin, do it again!” Kili orders, wiggling madly trying to get the friction his body so desperately desires. As he feels Thorin firm push against the spot again he gets out a needy moan. “Need you.”

“Mmm, I am glad our dear friend taught me about this special button inside you,” Thorin grins wickedly, fucking his fingers hard into his lover, hitting his prostate again and again until the youngster is almost crying from the overwhelming sensation. “What would you like, my bride?” he whispers against those now swollen red lips as Kili’s eyes roll into the back of his head. “Do you want to fetch as I do this? Or do you want me inside you?”

Kili bites his lip unsure how long he can actually hold of his peak. “I want to feel you inside of me, please,” he whimpers. “Now!”

“Alright,” Thorin nods and pulls his fingers back with an obscene pop. He rolls Kili onto his back and folds his legs back to open him up for him. “My beautiful man, I am the luckiest man in the world,” he compliments as he moves himself in between his lover’s legs and places kiss on his chest.

Kili places his hands on Thorin’s shoulders. “Please, darling, need to feel you,” he moans looking deep into Thorin’s eyes. “I want to feel my husband.” He gives Thorin a grin as he sees the pleasure that this phrase brings. “My beautiful husband.”

Thorin grabs his own cock in his hand and rubs his crown against Kili’s lovely pink pucker. “I am glad you still yearn to have me inside you,” he says, looking into those infinitely gorgeous eyes. Then he rolls his hips enough to exert pressure against that muscle, pushing just past that tight ring and then holding himself in place as he watches the usual initial discomfort mingle with pleasure in Kili’s features.

Kili can see love radiate from Thorin’s eyes. “I love you, Thorin,” he smiles, moving his hands to his hair and twirling it around his finger. “You bring me so much joy.” He can feel Thorin slowly pushing inside of him and gives out a moan as the discomfort gives way to delightful pleasure.

“I love you too, my beautiful Kili,” Thorin says in what is a half sigh, half moan as his lover’s body gives way to him. After having had Kili inside him the last time they were intimate, he is even more amazed by Kili’s love for this; how easily he accepts him inside that tight heat. He lowers himself onto his sleek youngster, enveloping him with his body heat as Kili is enveloping his prick with his. “You are so hot inside,” he whispers approvingly.

Kili moans as he feels Thorin fully seat himself inside of him. “You fill me up so well.” He bucks his hips softly. “Please move, Thorin.” He can feel his peak approaching already and clasps his hand around his cock trying to hold off his orgasm.  

Thorin grins as Kili moves his hand between them to squeeze himself. “I feel like I was meant to be inside you,” he places little kisses to his lover’s neck. “You just feel perfect around me.” He squeezes his butt muscles to push himself deeper into his beloved, setting a slow pace. He likes to make rough with Kili, but tonight he wants to really enjoy every ripple of pleasure, taking their time to feel each other, to own each other.

“You feel perfect inside me, sweetheart,” Kili moans, bucking his hips to match Thorin’s slow pace. Every little movement Thorin makes causes him to let out a moan. “You take care of me so well,” he squeaks, flopping his head back against the pillows as his eyes roll back into his head. He lets out a whimper as Thorin brushes his sweet spot with his shaft. “So good.”

“Mmm.” Thorin slides his arm under Kili’s back, pulling him against his chest as he rocks his hips more firmly. Everything about Kili feels right; his arms wrapped tight around his neck, his feet rubbing the back of his calves when he stretches himself out, his soft bottom when he rolls himself back up. He thinks how before he met Kili lying with another man had been just a debauched dirty secret that he really was only able to enjoy under the warm wrap of liquor. But this reckless brunet has shown him that it is possible to truly love a man. To enjoy sex as much as were he with a woman without feeling guilt burn inside his head for days to come. “You have made me whole,” he shudders as the drag of his cock inside that warmth is sending shivers down his spine. “When I thought I was broken forever you made me whole again.”   

Kili can feel a lump in his throat at Thorin’s words. “And you me, my love. My life would be worthless without you,” Kili whispers, running his hands along Thorin’s collar bone. “I love you so much, Thorin, you are such a beautiful, kind-hearted man.”

He thrusts his hips letting out a groan as Thorin shifts deeper inside of him. “You are the love of my life, Thorin. My soulmate.”

“Yes …” Thorin moans softly, snuggling his face into the hollow of Kili’s neck again as he thrusts into him a little harder. “My soulmate … Oooh, my love.” He squeezes his eyes tight shut as he tries to hold off his climax, suddenly holding himself very still as he is so close to the edge already.

Kili can feel his balls tighten as his orgasm hits him. “Thorin, I can't hold on,” he groans as his cock twitches. “Need to……”

“Don’t you dare!” Thorin growls but laughs just as much. He grabs the base of Kili’s cock hard, making the youngster yelp in surprise.

Kili bucks his hips wildly. “God, Thorin!” he pants. His body continues to tingle but he does not spend. “Lordy …” he utters moving his hair out of his eyes. After just a couple of seconds of that squeezing touch the feeling goes, leaving his cock pulsing in Thorin’s grip. “Damn ...”

Thorin stares at Kili with wonder that he had managed to stop him from spilling his seed, but the flush in his lover’s cheeks is glowing as fiercely as when he does climax. _Interesting …_ He kisses Kili’s lips hard and possessively. “Kneel for me,” he whispers into Kili’s ear, biting his earlobe softly as he pulls himself back with a groan.

Kili’s body tingles all over, his heart racing and his breathing rugged. He looks at Thorin wide-eyed, unsure what has just happened.

“Kneel?” he asks trying to get his body back under control.

“Yes,” Thorin smiles. “I want to play,” he winks, tracing his finger down Kili’s hot skin. “And make you feel amazing.”

Kili presses his lips against Thorin’s “Alright, my love, let’s play.” He purrs kneeling before him with a huge smile across his face.

“Not like that,” Thorin shakes his head. “Turn around, my prince. So I can ride into your lovely little ass.”  

Kili can feel himself flush bright red. “Gentlemen should not talk like that,” he jests, but does as he has requested. “Like this?” he asks, turning around.

“Mm, just like that,” Thorin murmurs his approval as his rubs Kili’s now stretched rim with his thumb, admiring the view, before raising himself up onto his knees behind his lover. “Should a gentleman not?” he whispers hotly, pressing wet kisses onto his lover’s lower back. “Not even when it makes their lover whimper in need?” He blows his hot breath across Kili’s skin, watching him ripple with little shivers.

Kili can feel his prick twitch again as Thorin teases him with his mouth and his thumb. He cannot help but let out a needy whimper and wiggles his backside in the air. “Please,” Kili begs,  unsure if he is begging for more of the teasing touches or for Thorin to stop and fill him again. Excited sparks tingle all over his body. “Please,” he repeats.

“You wanted heaven,” Thorin smiles, lining himself up again. “I will give you heaven and more,” he promises, his voice dropped into a very low register as his own lust pulses through his veins thick as tar. He pushes his cockhead into that pulsing heat again, grabbing Kili’s hips and pulling him back firmly over his shaft. “I will make you soil these luxurious sheets,” he says wickedly.

Kili lets out a whimper as Thorin thrusts deep into him. “Oh Thorin, yes!” he moans, thrusting his hips back against Thorin’s sword. “Harder, he orders with a grin. “I want to feel it tomorrow.” He bucks his hips again with force to prove his point. “Make me see stars.”

Thorin smiles at Kili’s urgent commands. “You dirty man.” He pulls the youngster’s hips back again and again, the sound of their bodies slapping together resonating between them. He had forgotten just how good this position felt. Somewhere deep down he felt this was not an appropriate position with his new husband for it was very much the choice position of rent boys, but _damn_ it also allows him to shaft himself so very deep inside his beautiful beloved. And now he knows where to find Kili’s pleasure button, if he can just manage to angle himself right he might be able to …

Kili loves how deep Thorin is able to thrust into him in this position. _We should have done this ages ago!_ He lets out a scream of pleasure as he feels Thorin’s prick press against that magical spot inside of his body. “Again!” Kili orders wrapping his hand around his cock rubbing desperately, letting out another scream as Thorin thrusts past it again. “Yes! There!”

“Spend your seed, my love,” Thorin growls deep in his throat as he pounds Kili vigorously now, encouraged by his wails. He feels his own stones draw up for release as he moves his one hand to wrap around Kili’s gorgeous hot shaft too, pulsing with pending pleasure.

It takes just a few more thrusts from Thorin before Kili feels pleasure rush through his body. “Oh Thorin!” he gasps, allowing his body the pleasure it so desperately requires. His pearly essence pumps out of his body all over the bed sheet. “Bless me with your seed, my handsome King!” Kili calls to Thorin, who continues to press against his special place.

Thorin bends double against Kili’s back as he feels his brunet’s hot seed flood over his palm and onto the sheets. He cannot make any sounds remotely as eloquent as Kili as his climax erupts into a bellow that originates deep in his core and he pumps his hips hard whilst his floods Kili’s channel with his mettle.

Kili grips the sheet trying to stop himself from collapsing in a heap as Thorin pounds him relentless until he stills with a shudder.

“Thank you, my Thorin,” he gasps feeling his body finally give way and falls forward onto the sheets. “My perfect husband.”

Thorin collapses down on top of his lover, his arm still wrapped around his hips, keeping him in place so as not to break the spell of their joining just yet. He wants to whisper a million words of love in Kili’s ear, but he has a hard enough time to catch his breath until he is able to finally utter. “You are my heaven. My precious blossom. I will cherish you … forever.”  

Kili can feel his heart erupt with happiness. “I will cherish you also. I was blessed the day you fell in love with me,” he pants trying to regain his breath.“ He tucks his head into his lover’s shoulder placing a gentle kiss upon his soft skin.

Thorin rolls onto his back, lying diagonally across the bed, curling Kili into his arms, murmuring sweet nothings in his ear as they each come down from their high.

“This room is beautiful,” he finally observes as his eyes are scanning the room from their upturned position. He feels a little ashamed that he had not taken in any of the glamour and wealth that their host had offered them, being far too focused on his new husband and peeling him out of his clothes - but then again, Kili truly was his priority over anything else.

Kili looks around the room too, taking in all the luxurious furniture. “Even Erebor is not this grand,” he comments as his eyes fall on the golden curtains around the bed to the golden ornaments on the fireplace. He then spots a bottle of champagne on the table along with a huge hamper of exotic fruits he had never seen before. “Would you like some bubble, my love?”   

_Bubble?_ Thorin follows Kili’s eyes in confusion, then smiles and nods. “They have spoiled us,” he smiles warmly. “We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends looking out for us.” He had never really thought about it like that before. Just how very blessed he was to have such close friends who supported him, who understood him. _I have been blind in my grief and obsessions_. “And fruit too,” he grins as Kili starts to rummage in the basket that he has dragged onto the bed.

Kili grins examining the strange looking fruit which had prickles. “Thorin what do we do with this?” he asks giving it a little smell. “Do we eat it?” _Surely not?_ he thinks putting his finger on the spikes.“Ouch, it bit me.”

Thorin laughs and grabs Kili’s hand, sucking his finger into his mouth. “Yes, we eat it,” he smiles and looks in the basket for a knife. “Let me show you.” He takes the pineapple and the knife and shimmies himself off the bed to cut the exotic fruit up. When he turns back he finds Kili watch him in fascination, sat cross legged on the edge of the bed, beautiful and pure. “Here, try…” he grins, walking back and holding a piece of the sweet fruit out to Kili’s lips.

Kili opens his mouth allowing Thorin to drop the piece of fruit into it. “It tastes sweet, but has a little tang to it also.” he says chewing, the yellow fruit. “It’s good,” he smiles, swallowing. “I could get used to living on these.”  

"I know Saruman's property has a sizeable garden," Thorin smiles, sitting next to Kili as he feeds him more chunks of pineapple. "Our climate is too cold for something as exotic as this but you could grow other fruits. And herbs." He wraps his arm around his young betrothed. "I can hardly wait to show it you," he says, kissing Kili on his temple.

“Really? I would love a vegetable patch.” Kili thinks of the huge gift Saruman has given them. “I cannot wait to see it. It is so generous of Mr Saruman to gift it to us.” _A real home, to be a real family._  

"Incredibly so," Thorin nods. "We must personally thank him tomorrow. And I hope he will be able to visit us one day in our home."

He reaches for the expensive champagne, handing Kili the two glasses before he pops the cork. "Shall we toast, my groom?" he beams as he pours the foaming liquid into the crystal wear.


End file.
